Y -
CAPITAL CITY COURIER
' ,'S
Vol. 3. No. G
Lincoln, Nudraska, Satukday, Jantjaky 14, 1888
riicu: Kivit Oicnts
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MEDITATIVE MUSINGS
ITEMS IMAGINATIVE AND OTHERWISE.
'Intended to Tloklo itin Hlslblltlcs or In
duce Philosophical IIIscumIoii.
l ytohllosnunterlng ubouttho city Tuosdny
ws
evening I uropiH.Ni in for a row mo
ments stay with Dennis tho hatter, nnd
while oliservlng himself nnd clerks
busily engogad nt work nt tho Htock, I was
lold that tho iwpular gents furnisher wns tak
ing stock. Further-more I learned that he
was about to leave for Michigan whore ho
lias another houso similar to Ills Lincoln es
tahllshmont. Mr. Dennis exacts to leavo
-early noxt week and after invoicing lib oast-
cm Btoro, together with his partner thoro, go
cast to purchase, a now stock for tho spring
trade. Dennis has had a brisk run of patron
Ago all tho season, and tho fact that ho carries
tho finest lino of goods In tho gents furnishing
lino In Lincoln, prolwibly accounts for It.
Asldo from this ho is a genial, enterprising
merchant, is entertaining to patrons, on-
ilcavoring to suit their various tastes in a
pleasant manner and has won friends gener
ally nmong tho finest trmlo in tho city. Ills
lino of goods will compare favorably with
similar houses In Chicago and tho cast, as
goods of most any description from a cheap
tlo to tho finest dress mid party tlo, fuldress
goods, otc. I trust Mr. Dennis will havo a
.pleasant trip east mid profit by tho Investment
ho makes. As for Llncolnites thoy all havo
reason to expect a largo and elegant lino of
fashiouablo goods on his return.
"Don't you know" said a merchant to mo
tho other day as I was walking down 0 street
that tho habit of boys reading nickel novels
seems to bo on tho Increase? Admitting that
I was not nwaro of tho fact, Mr. Merchant
continued; "why right over thero," and ho
pointed across tho street "is a boy walking
along slowly reading a novel. I havo noticed
it much of late, continued ho " and just yester
day I enquired at ono of tho nowstands and
they told mo thoy had an immouso salo of
literature. It is a burning slinmo that par
ents nro not moro particular with tholr chil
dren in obsorving their habits;" nnd ho was
about right. It Booms when many boys get
at tho ago of niuo to fifteen years they havo a
perfect mania for this kind of reading Tho
glaring pictures with such titles as "Davo
Dovll Dick or tho Detectives Prido," "Jim
tho Murderer of Davo tho Plucky Dog," and
such talcs. Tho result from reading such
trash is always soon in tho boy when ho en
ters manhood. At about nineteen he bocomes
"tough," drinks red liquor, uses vilo Ian-
-guage, and generally puts In his timo loafing.
Afterwards ho finds tho jail, and from bad to
worse. Mothers and fathers should look to
their children and if thoy havo a desiro to
read, furnish them with papers liko tho
Golden Days nnd Youth's Companion nnd
such. Theso will educate and not dogrndo.
Wo think thoro is no class of tradesmen
subject to more criticism or fault finding than
tho milk-man. Noxt to n mother-in-law
comes tho milk vendor for nows paper
"whacks" and stalo jokes, which wo think
nil wrong. Let us havo charity, and oxorciso
n greater amount of forbearance. Should his
"rich now milk turn sour In a fow hours
don't be hasty in your condemnation, ior
haps a water fatnluo In his neighborhood,
makes it imposslblo to wash ids pots and
cans was tho immediate cause, or should you
And n minnow in your coffee-cup put it away
without any comment, perhaps soma thought
less boyH havo liooii playing nn Innocent Joko
on his spring, or ilndlng tho milk n little
thinner than usual wo are liable to fall into a
violent passion nnd donouno all milk men,
never stopping to reflect that tho thinness
might havo boon caused by an extra pressure
from tho waterworks or an extra spirt of tho
pumps by which tho milk instead of being
half water as tho honest dary-man intended
bocumo two-thirds water. Tho pump not tho
inilk-mnu should bo blamed. Let us de
nounce tho pump-makers who should bo com
pelled to manufacture pumps that could bo
relied on to yield a regular stream. Tho fol
lowing lines aro supposed to havo been written
by a milk-man.
Speak gently of tho enemy,
You Know not of tho power,
"With which tho dark tomtation camo,
In some ungnarded hour,
Hence wo sny, havo charity.
I am told that virtually tho now club houso
talked ot by tho Union Club has boon dropped
nd tho matter laid on tho tnblo sine die.
It was hoped that this club, which cortnlnly
has woalth enough, would carry out their In
tentions nnd in order to encourage tho ven
ture n number of now members wcro solicit
ed and obtained. It was then thought that
tho club houso was an assured fact and it was
for this reason tho now mombors joined forces
with tho club. Hut now I find tho affair has
again practically died out and nothing has
been douo, ut least so I am told by a mem
ber. Now then, n club houso is what tho
young gontlemon nro after and sooner or
later will havo It. So why not tako tho Inlt
nl step mid organize a permanent association
and let tho work go on. Tho Pleasant Hour
Club, for instance, could easily arrange for
such nn enterprise and In my opinion has tho
right kind of metal in it to make tho thing a
success. Many of Its members nro wealthy
And a company selected from the club could
cosily arrange mutters. This subject has
been breathed to mo a uumderof times of late
and thoro seems U. bo a deep Interest felt in
tho movement. Wake up, you denizens of tho
social nrena, put on your thinking cap and go
to work. A little push and energy will ac
complish much. It is not said that a 100,(XM)
house must Ito put up, begin small and the in
crease will certainly follow. Lot's hoar moro
about tho club houso.
St, I'iiiiI Ion Palace.
i:inn.
Tho St. Paul Ico Palace and Win tor Carni
val opens Jan, 2.1th and continues ten days.
Tho nbovo figures represent tho amount to bo
charged for tho round trip via. tho Klkhorn
Vnlloy Lino. Tho "Sioux City Houto." For
full particulars Inquire nt tholr olllco, lift So.
10th St.
Tl.o latest and host thing out Is tho Klkhorn
Valley mid Chicago nnd Northwestern palace
sleeping cur Him running dully botw ceu Lin
coln find Chleago. norths iisdguoJ in ad
vance of a trip, If 'doslrol, at otlbo, tin Bouth
until I'nii nl h.ul, ii'ir ul Eighth
ntreots.
THE LITTLE PEOPLE.
Iln VTa Somcwtint Mixed on the Medl
ml Term.
Tho othor day a small boy appeared at
school after n day's absence, and without an
excuse,
"Why woro you absent yosterdnyr' tho
teacher asked. ,
"My sister has tho ammonia in tho loft
log," said ho, "an' I couldn't como yesterday,
an' thoy couldn't 'tend to my oxcuso this
morning."
"Ammonia in tho loft legl" exclaimed tho
teachorl "What do you mean I"
"That's what sho has got, ma'am," tho boy
insisted.
Tho teacher was in doubt whethor tho boy
was simply gottlng up a smart answer or
whothor ho had mads a mistake Sho sent
him homo with a lioto of inquiry, therefore,
and learned from tho reply that his sister
had lecn ill with pneumonia in tho loft luugl
Boston Transcript.
Kqunl nights Demanded.
Harry's father is a railroad man, and at
dinner ono night announced that ho was soon
to havo a vacation. For somo rooson, com
mon to mnnychlldron, Harry does notalways
liko to say his prayers, having asked Ills
mother once it sho shouldn't "think Qod
would got tired of hearing tho samo prayers
ovorand ovor." On tho night in question,
after being prepared for bed and told as
usual to say his prayers, Harry turned to his
mother and, In an earnest, argumentative
tono, said! "Mother, don't you think I ought
to havo a vacation, tool" Now YorktWorld.
- .,)
An Exact Statement.
"Johnny, I find three mistakes on tho flrtt
pago of your lottor," sold a mother to hor
"-year-old son ono day. "You liavo spoiled
until' with two l's, 'very' with two r's, aud
loft out tho word 'brother in tho last lino."
"I don't call that threo mistakes, mamma,"
replied tho boy, calmly; "I cdll it two mis
takes and ono forget." Honor's Bazar.
, Startling Transformation.
A very small boy, who had hitherto only
Boon his llttlo baby cousin crawling about tho
floor, on entering hor homo, very unexpect
edly found hor moving around on her foot
"Oh, motherl" ho excluimed, "sho's walking
on her hind legs." New York World.
Nothing If Not Fashionable.
Now York Tailor (dubiously) You say
you want a crease on each trousers leg!
Young man Certainly; It's all tho go.
New York Tailor (resignedly) Well, you
aro tho ono that's to wear 'em. Where do
you want 'cm sent?
Young Man East St. Louis. Now York
Bun.
Itoinarknbln Presence of Mind.
Pat Hoolllian, whllo slating tho roof of ono
it our highest buildings, lost his footing and
foil.
Over nnd over ho went until within twenty
flvo feet of tho pavement, when ho struck a
telegraph wire and managed to grasp it, first
with ono hand, then with botlu
"Ilnng on f or your Hfo, Pntl" shouted his
follow workmen, nnd tho bystanders rushed
to tho nearest dwelling for a mattress.
Tat held on for a few seconds, when sud
denly, with a cry of "Shtand from undherl"
ho dropped nnd lay senseless on tho street.
Whisky was used and Pat finally camo to.
When asked why ho did not hold out longer
ho feebly replied!
"01 WU7. afraid tho wolro ud broaic."
Ho rocovcrod. Lifo.
Keiluclcs; the Surplus.
-Life,
Clnsn Hand.
Two old sporta,accustomed to catch tho
grnngor nt poker aro playing against ono
another.
"I call you. What yo gotr
"Four aces."
"What's yer outsldocardl I've got four
aces myself." San Francisco Chronicle,
Compliment of tlio Keaon In Chicago.
Miss Laker I should think, nftor tho do
clded jilt I gavo him, that Mr. Armor would
havo too much self-respect to send mo a pros
cut. Its a pretty llttlo toboggan, though,
isn't it papa)
Papa Toboggan 1 It looks to mo moro liko
n shoo horn. Judge
Pretty Welt Fixed.
Omaha Dnmo So your daughter is en
gaged! Council niuflTs Dame Yes; sho Is to marry
a Council Bluffs gentleman.
"Is ho well oiri"
"I should say. Ho owns half n share of
gas stock." Omaha World.
AT THE FUNKE.
1'AHT AND FllOfll'KCTlVK Atiiactionh at
I.INCOI..NH l.KAm.NO TltKATKIl.
1IAMKI. HUM.V.
Tho oecentrlo Irish comedian, Daniel
Sully, occupied tho honrdsnt tho Funko Wed
nesday nnd Thursday evenings of this wook,
Tho llrst night "Daddy Nlan" was presented
to a big house. Tho play had looii neon hero
Itcfore, but everybody wants to se it ngnln.
Thero Is a happy mixture of rollicking fun
and natural patluM that combine to make It
a very interesting as well ns "taking" piny.
Mr. Sully has gathered nlniut him a most ox
eelcnt company of eoniedlniis, who ably set
oir tlo stellar attraction. "Tho Comer Ord
eery" was given the second evening, but on
account of tho prevailing blizzard tho attend
ance wni very light. Tho company Is a favor
ite ono w Ith Lincoln audiences, who would
glndly welcome u return engagement.
TONH1IIT
W. J. Fleming's commny of nrtlsts will
present n drnmntlzntlon of Jules Venn's
"Around tho World in Eighty Days." Tills
Is ono of tho finest seetnetular plays on tho
read requiring forty ieoplo and two car
loads of sKclal scenery for ita'presoiitutloii,
nil under the esoclnl supervision of tho well
known manager, W. .T. Fleming It Is n
play of u character seldom witnessed In Lin
coln, mid will draw mi Immense house.
Prices as usual.
ONLY A KAllMEll's DAUOHTKIl.
On Monday noxt Mini Marion Abbott will
appear nt tho Fnnko's in tho old favorite,
"Only a Farmer's Daughter," n play nliound
log lit excellent situations mid dramatic
climaxes. Miss Abbott Is one of the young
est stars on tho stage, but Mug of true dra
matic instinct she is rapidly Hearing tho top.
Porhnps tho liost compliment that could bo
paid Miss Abbott wnH tho remark made by
tllo eminent Now York physician nnd surgeon,
Dr. CroHH, who, on leaving tho theatre, re
marked: "Tho death scene, ns enacted by
Miss Abbott, was so jwlnfully realistic that
I, feeling confident that sho, curried away
by her emotions, had become unconscious,
nindo my way quickly liehlnd tho scenes,
when to my extreme astonishment, I snw that
genius had more than inspired tho situation.
She is indeed a rare artiste."
TUKHI1AY EVKNZNO.
Tho samo comivmy will present "Morlarily
tho Corjioral." This is a very laughable play
replete with humorous situations and Is
guaranteed a button-burster.
THE IVY LEAF
will bo given Thursday evening by Mr. W.
II. Powers' excellent company. The follow
ing extract from tho Louisville Times will
give our renders snmo Information regdadlng
tho play; Tho piny presented nt M acaulay's
last night, under tho poetic, nnmo of "Tho
Ivy lA-nf" is a pleasing, bright and origlnnl
piece. Tho scene is laid in Ireland, and the
characters aro all Irish, but only tho bright
est nnd best side of Hfo in tho Emernld Islo
is shown. Tho picture is a quiet but deftly
drawn ono, in wulch local coloring is unmis
takably and accurately laid on, yet without
sacrificing tho nnturalness or tho vitality of
tho story. "Tho Ivy Loaf" Is nn Intelligent
and distinct attempt to givo tho stage some
thing of a gonulnely dramatic character, and
is by all odds tho most commendable play
seen hero this season.
A l'u rowel I Party.
Tuesday Mr. and Mrs. M. A. Nowmark en
tertained ii party pf about twenty flvo young
folks ut their rosldcuco on L street. Tho
niralr was given in honor of Mr. Loon Elsfleld,
who has been head clerk nt tho Globe Cloth
Ing Houso for several years, but left this city
Wednesday for his former homo In Burling
ton Iowa.
During tho early part of tho evening tho
Donkey game was tho amusing feature; later
on cards were Introduced nnd about oloven
I o'clock elegant refreshments were served to
I which nil did ample justlco. Tho spread com
prised everything delicious and substantial
I In seasonable eadlbles and whllo sipping tho
I wlno several elegant toasts woro offered to
I tho future wolfuro of tho gentleman hi whoso
honor tho nflulr was given. Mr. Eisfleld loft
' Lincoln very reluctantly, but naturally re
turns to homo and Its happy surroundings
with tho pleasure that Is not known by tho
iwrsoiiw holms not lived under parental roof
for several years. During his stay hero ho
made many warm frif nds, nnd won trade for
his popular houso. At Burlington Mr. Eis
fleld will havo charge of his father's extensive
business, nnd tho CouniEii joins friends in
wishing him abundance of success nnd a
huppy future.
St, Paul nml the Northwest.
Points in tho nbovo directions are reached
best by tho Klkhorn volley lino. Connections
nro sure and tho lino most direct. Get tickets
nt 115 South Tenth street or depot, corner S
and Eighth sreetts.
Thoy know just how to plooso you with
oysters in every stylo nt Brown's New Vienna
Cafe-.
Tru lorn, Take Notice.
Hereafter passengers holding local tickets
rending from Lincoln or stations cost to Ash
laud, Omahn, Plnttsmouth, or Pacific Junction
will not lm carried on No. 3 leaving Lincoln
nt 1:50 p.m. P. 8. Euhtib,
General Passenger Agent.
Canon City Coal nt tho Whltebreost Coal
and Lluio Co,
Attend tho great snlo of dry goods ovory
thing goes. Oakley & Co'h.
Great llemniiiit Hale at
O. It. tIAKMiV & CD'S
How to Oct a Crowded House.
First Actor I am going to havo my bene
fit noxt Saturday night
Second Actor You are!
"Yes, but I'm puzzled to know how I'm go
ng to fill tho houso."
"That's easy enough dono."
"But how?"
"Invito your creditors," Toxas Sittings.
Soltlni; Her lltulit.
Miss WrJ'Vi (of Boston) Havo you ovor
road Kant, Mr. Wnbaslit
Mr. Wnlxish (of Chicago) Eroxcuso me,
MUs Waldo, but do you moau "Dou'tf" Now
York Sun.
THE CITY j)N THE SKA.
INTERESTING NOTES ADOUT VENICE
A (liiuilota Hide on tint Moonlit Water of
the Adrlutlo-A Trip to Milan.
Written for The CouniKii.
It was a lovely iuoi;nlng when we left our
Mnrblo Hotel, oncoa lnlacoIu Venice, and
entered with our luggnge'.tho gondola which
was to convey m to tho station. Again wo
iwiMod lieneath tho Wnutlful "ltlalto" and by
!iuiihrou gondolas freighted with jmssengers
and good to all mrts of tho city. On tho
grand cnnni are many old mid hIMorlo pal
uees, whore the gieat senators for tunny cen
turies maintained almost royal splendor. All
this is changed now under tho reigns of Vic
tor Emmanuel and his win. Under tho con
stitutional privileges now enjoyed tho people
havo more freedom than under tho lm)erliil
republic of tho Doge. In tho durnl (mi
nce, tho long Hue of portraits of tho Doges is
ended with that of Daiilelo Mnnln, tho lost or
tho Doges, i ho struggled for tho re-establish-incut
of tho republic.
Our gondola stopped for a half hour to ad
mit of our visit to tho famous Venetian gloss
works. These unispinllod fabrics are yet ex
tensively sought for by nearly all the coun
tries of tho glolo,niid tho activity at tho ware
house shows how largu was tho trade, lle-en-taring
our gondola wo asKcd by tho grand
centi nl market. Although not tho market
day, tho feitlle clluiato of northern Italy and
tho rich ndjocent Islands furnished nbiindatit
and varied products from tho land of tho
vino and tho llg. Tho delicious fruit that tip
IH'iirid on our hotel tnblo were evidences of u
land of plenty,
Our railway station waH at tho end of a
long stonu cnusowny reaching to tho city in
tho sea,.nnd is at the end of tho Grand Canal.
Wo found admirable order on reaching tho
station, and had only to Indicate to an olllelal
our hotel and wo were politely conducted to
our gondola, not n big "omnibus boat" but
such a light and fairy boat ns our fancy long
ago pictured. Our jwrty numbered flvo nnd
wo had this lont all to ourselves. It was n
bright moonlight eveuliig.nud the single gon
dolier, ns ho ipiletly nnd rapidly jmddled his
boat over tho smooth wnters, wo realized nil
tho poetry nnd exhilaration of tho scene, Tho
sudden change from a dirty and noisy rail
way to this imlet evening rido on a gondola
to our hotel, put our party In lively spirits.
AVo had several rides on tho canals of Venice
but none that equalled that first night. Ono
ovenlng wo enjoyed, on tho grand plaza In
front of our hotel, which oncd on tho har
bor, crowded with citizens aud straugers,who
meet on summer evenings to enjoy tho Invig
orating sen air aud Indulge In refreshments.
Wo can testify to tho superiority of Venetian
Ices our jwirty was n unit In testifying to
their unequalled dellciousunss. We had entou
Philadelphia ices, but Venetian Ices excel.
Wo enjoyed every moment In Venice, Its
grand cathedral of nt. Marks, tho bronzo
horsegonca removed by Nnpoleou nnd taken
to France, nnd then under more jionccful
times returned. The pigeons that nre fed nt
tho public oxciiso nt 3 p.m. dally on tho
plaza, are tho descendants of that famous
carrier dove that brought to Venlco tho first
news of a victory In tho east under tho re
public, and now no doves oo killed at Venice.
At 2 p.m. over a thousand pigeons flocked to
tho window of a palnco to receive tho dally
rations.
Wo visited tho lneo factory and strolled
through tho brilliantly-lighted shops on threo
sides of tho plaza, rich In nil decorative art,
in Jen els, precious stones, lace and glass
works, In which industries Venice still lends
tho world. Wo posted through the "Bridge
of.Slghs," looked into tho "Lion's Mouth,"
went down to tho dark stono dungeon under
tho water, saw where tho jioet Byron passed
tho night, to realize how it was, but seeing
was enough for our party. Wo recroKsed tho
"Brldgo of Sighs" to tho palnco, and looked
on nil Its nrt treasures, and camo away w;ith
somo vivid impressions of tho genius of Ital
ian painters, in which tho Venetian school
has many celebrities. Wo confess to some
dlfllculty in feeling much pleasure, certainly
llttlo ndmirntion, nt a largo painting of juim
dlso, covering tho whole west wall of tho hall
in which tho artist had painted tho head of
his lieautlful wife, In heaven, earth and pur
gatory, so ns to lie sure, ho snld, of meeting
hor in ono place or tho other.
From quiet Venice, with no dusty ronds,no
horses, no dogs, no noisy truffle, wo took tho
cars for Milan, the capital city of Innbanly.
But n word more nliout Venice. It is two
und a half miles from tho mainland. Its 15,
000 houses nro situated on three largo and 114
small Islands, formed by 150 canals mid con
nected by 378 bridges. Of iU 133,000 jiooplo
oiio-fourth nro pniqiers, but slnco tho middlo
of tho century business has much increased
and Venice is ono of tho busy seaports of tho
Adriatic. The largo iwuiper population are
employed nt starvation wages in tho manu
facture of laces and other similar fabrics.
Tho laces that sell to tho rich at fabulous
prices are mado by pnujier labor ut 15 to 30
cents xr day.
But wo cannot stop for details, our train is
ready and wo rapidly jvirs through tho richly
cultivated gardens of Northern Italy. Its ex
tensive vlnoynrds, fed by tho rich soil of tho
high Alps by tho disintegrating force of tho
elements, and spread by rapid mountain
strenms nlong IU valleys, and thence by an
extensive system of Irrlgntion,wntering nearly
every foot of tho plains. Tho fields nro green
all tho year round, and as ninny us ten crops
havo been taken from tho samo Hold in tho
year, vhoro tho ollvo nourishes us well ns tho
grape and tho fig, and melons aro in delicious
nbundanco. Tho mullierry nourishes tho silk
worm, which industry has brought wealth
and comfort to the land. IMeo is no mean
product, as it is easy to Hood tho meadows
and large crops are produced,
Our train stops only a few minutes nt Vo
roua, old Verona, with its crumbling walls,
its vacant castles and its old, old churches
Vt o reached Milan by daylight and were soon
settled in our comfortable hotel not far from
tho ISatza tUl lhunno. AVo are now In tho
center of Lomhardy, famed for Its riches and
its Inlluenco on tho fortunes, lltlcnlly, of
Italy. Tho stato is now tranquil and there is
every Indication of prosperity in tho city.
There is a rush of visitors from tho Now
World, mid nearly every hotel has many
Americans. Evidently Amei lean civilization
s helping to Infuse Europe, every new Inven
tion which brings comfort to homos, convent
ciicototradoiiroherefound. Hotels nndstreets
are furnished with Ainerieun ;lecrrlo light.
and American ideas on a hundred subjects
are contributing their Inlhienco to tho higher
clvlllrntlou In the future of Europe.
. HintiA.
Tho Lion's Mouth was an opouliiK In Iho
outside wall of the palace, where secret In
runner inluhl deposit Information ofdlnloyal
person without Mini known It became n
means or fearful cruelly and Injustleo.
lletween Steals.
wvnrflrfjJJ(j
Woman (who lias given n cold bite to a
tramp) You do;i't look -cry healthy.
Tramp No, iim'ntn, HSi Indigestion, caused
by eating between mofJs other jicoploli
meals.
A Pleasant Hour.
Monday evening whllo Mr. and Mrs. O. 0.
Bell wcro enjoying tho ovory day oxistnuco
of life at tlmir homo, a tap at tho door gavo
evidence that somo one bado admittance, and
on 0K'iilng tho same, a young army of In
tmdors took possession of Iho premises nnd
Informed Mr. Bell that this was his forty-first
birth day nnd that thoy had como to mnku
the occasion a memorable one. Tho com
pany comprised nliout twenty five couples,
tho gentlemen being members of Canton
Ford No.3, of which Mr. Bell is n member.
Mrs. Bell who hud Wn "given a (winter
on tho quiet" had prepansl an elegant spread
and when tho partlcljiantH sat down to lellsli
tho feast thoy found ono of tho most sump
tions supiwrs they had over enjoyed nnd tho
entire occasion wont merry nsa wedding
lieu, until tlmo lor going homo arrived ami
hero lies a Joko on somo one.
A committee had Ihcii npMInted on trans
iwrtntloii in tho person of Mr. E. II. Hvde.
mid when nil had reixilred into tho world
without, thoy woro pleased to find a car In
wnltiug. Mr. Hyilo Informed all that ho felt
as big a man as Jay Gould and on being nskril
why, said that ho too had tho command of a
railway car and gavo orders an to how It
should lw run. Imagine our friend's chagrin,
when nftor riding sovoral blocks, ho found ho
aud his party hail taken tho wrong car, nnd
now tho gallant I'M ward Is tho center of much
joking.
J,iii Year Party,
A very enjoyable leap year party was given
nt Masonlo Temple Wednesday, evening. The.
ladles had clmrgoof all tho arrangements, es
corting tho gentlemen to tho hall in carnages
and doing tho agreeable generally. Tho mer
ry danco lasted until nearly two o'clock, when
tho ladles escorted tholr guests to Brown's
where a delicious reiast was enjoyed. Tho
committee of arrangements, Mrs, Maxwell,
Mrs. Blako, Mrs. Belcher and Miss Belcher,
were highly complimented for the excellent
manner in which the whojo affair was Con
ducted. TIioho present were: Mr. and Mrs.
Knight, Mr. and Mrs. Craig, Misses Fender
sou, Wilcox, Smith, Selad, Holland, Drone,
Messrs. King, Mlcklehood, Hitchcock, Wil
liams, Fox, Babbitt, Brown, Maun, Selad,
Kitchen, Bohnumi, Ambrose, Hedloy and
Graham.
Wliut "Peculiar" Menu.
Applied to Hood's Saisapnrilla, tho word
eculiar of great imixirtniice. It means that
Hood's BarsuiMirilln Is different from other
preparations ,in many vital points, which
malco it a thoroughly honest and reliable
modlcliio. It is Peculiar, In a strictly medl
clnnl scnso:r, In tho combination ot reme
dial agents used; nfcund, In tho proportion in
in which thoy nro prepared; ifrd,ln tho pro.
cess by which tho active curative properties
of tho medicine nro secured. Study theso
points well. Thoy mean volumes. They
maku Hood's Sarsaimrllla jiociillar In its
curative lowers, ns it accomplishes wonder
ful cures hitherto unknown, nnd- which glvo
to Hood's Sapsaparilla n clear right to tho
titloof "Tho' greatest blood purifier over
discovered."
"Our iw;wr is two dayn lato this week,"
rites n Nebraska editor, "owing to on ncci-
nt to our prcsa. When wo started to run
e edition Wednesday night, ns usual, ono of
o guy ropon gavo way, allowing tho for wai d
ldcr fluke to fall nnd break ns ft struck the
inker flopper. This, of coureo, ns any one
ho Knows anything nliout a press will
adlly understand, left tho gang plank witl
oly a flip Hap to support it, which also
opjvd rnd liroUo o.T tho wnj-jier chock.
'.. loncd the fluking from U'twron tho
.mnxlndt'.-.o flibbcr unatehor, which alio
.uslu t:-o..U!a Tho reio.-t thut the delay
C3 c. : 1 lv ovrrkultilgenco in Intoxicating
i-lTli'::' byounrlfi u tissue of falsehoods,
t'io icoM appenrnaco of our right eyo lelug
iiused nyour genu; into tho hatchway of
tho press iu our nnxloty to start it, and pull-
ingtlio coupling pin nfttr tho slap liang was
broken, which caused tho dingus to rise up
nnd welt us in tho optic. Wo expect n brand
now gilder fluko on this afternoon's train."
Chicago Tribune.
r.lurlous Possibilities Ahead.
Do Less?ps- -Yes, wo aro still working on
tho Panama canal nnd havo got hopes. By
tho way, you huvo tho advantngo of mo.
American Tourist My nnmo is Kecly.
"AUI Tho Keely who Is inventing a now
motor P
"Tho samo."
"How fortunate wo havo met, Whon my
canal Is completed I will uso your motors to
run our tow boats. "Omaha AVorld.
Jiutlflnble Prlilo.
Husband (complacently) I did something
today which I think no man over did before.
Wife What was that, John!
Husband You know how muddy tho streets
wcro after tho rulu I
Wifo-Yes.
Husband Well, I turned tho liottom of my
trousers up before thoy got soaked through.
Now York Sun.
fjpi'ifl &'
STORIES ADOUT MEN.
He Preferred
n Oniric Death to niaelf
hum's Talk.
I hoard a rnthor interesting, though om
what niocryphnl, nnocdoto tho othor day In
connection with Senator Blackburn's first
canvass ror congress. Blackburn, so tho
story goes, hapoiied to bo Jsisslng through
Owonton, tho country seat of Owon county,
on tho occasion of tho hanging of a noted
criminal. As a hanging It it rnthor excep
tional oplsodn In tho stato of Kentucky, tho
candidate for congressional honors concluded
ho would remain In tho placo a fow hours
nnd witness tho "ovont." Tho gallows was
oroctisl In the puhlla tquaro, so that no cltl
ren, however humble, should loso tho oppor
tunlty of seeing tha unusual spectacle. It
was, In fact, n gala day, such as tho history
ot Owonton had seldom recorded. Tho thor
iff, In a spirit of true Kentucky hospital
Hy, invited Blackburn, ns ouo of tho distin
guished guests present, to occupy a scat on
thognllows. Blackburn did so. After tho
preliminaries: hod boon arranged, tho sheriff
consulted hit watch mid discovered that It
wot not qulto 13 o'clock, tho hour ilxod for
tho execution. Turning to tho prisoner ho
said:
"You havo ton minutes yot to llvo. It
thoro anything you doslro to sny In tho
menntlmor"
Tho prisoner sullenly replied thero wan not,
At this Instant Blackburn uprniig from hit
sent, nnd, advancing to tho odgo of tho scaf
fold, satdt
"If tho gentleman will allow mohlt re
maining ten minute I will bo glad to on
nouueo mysnlf a candidate for your sulTragca.
It elected to congress"
Hero tho prisoner impatiently exclaimed!
"Say, you I It your nnmo Joo Blackburnl"
"Yes, sir," replied Blackburn, politely.
With nn expression of iutoiisa disgust on
his faco tho prisoner turned to tho shoriff.
"Wo won't stand on n fow minutes moro
or less," Mid ho, "when tho nltornntlvo la
prevmted ot death on ono hand, or listening
to ono of, Joo Blackburn's long winded
speeches ou tho othor. Flip tho trap and lot
mo go."
Tho good natured thorlff obligingly
"flipped tho trap," and tho noxt instant tho
desKrado swung into otornlty, while Black
burn clnmbored down tho gallows, exclaim
ing as ho wont that ho had lost tho greatart
opportunity of hit Hfo. Now York Tribune.
Jiutlea Ilnrlnn's Itemrdy fur Chnulc.
Justlco Harlan tells n story of a man who
camo to his house ono night, nn entire stran
ger, sent in hit card, and whon tho judgo
came down bluntly told him that he proposed
tomakoa fortune for both hi msolt and the
Judgo, If tho latter would furnish him infor
mation about a certain decision that woa
ponding and wot expoctod to affect stocks.
Tho man proposed to furnish tho capital and
do tho trailing. Ho was willing, moreover,
to dlvido profits equally. Tho justlco was to
completely taken aback by tho man's cool
Impudence that ha scarcely knew what to
sny, but tho humor of tho tltuatlon struck
him at enco, and ho usked tha caller it bo,
would kindly stand up under tho chandelier
where ho could gat a look at hit face, Tho
stronger stood tho. scrutiny without flinch
ing. Then tho Jddgo saldt
"My friend, you havo asked something1
that Is not onlyimpropor and impoesiblo,
but your projiosltioii ought to tempt mo to
kick you out of my houso. I scarcely knoir
why I do not fool in tho mood to do it, I do
not think that you nro nwaro of tho signifi
cance of your proposition, and therefore I
shall not treat this as I otherwiso woulL I
am not going to enter into a speculation with
you, as that would bo wrong; but I will toll
you bow you can get tho information you
seek before any ono elso."
Tho man's fnco brightened up. when tho
Justice continued!
"On tho day whon tho opinion it delivered
I cannot tell you when that will bo como
to the supremo court room and tako a scat on
tho front bench. Then, as It (s read, tho
Bouud will roach your ears first Good evon
Ing." And at tho man, with a somewhat crest
fallen mien, turned toward tho door, tbo
justlco added, with peculiar emphasis in bit
voico:
"Walt a momont, sir; you should thank
mo for not kicking you down stairs,"
But tho man with ono bound had already
cleared tho ball, and was tearing down tho
street when tho justlco thoughtfully returned
to bis study, Now York Tribune.
Mistook Ills Gurit.
A judicial joko it out and will start the
rounds on tho United States circuit. Every
one knows'bow expert nnd almost unerring
tbo proverbial hotol clerk is when ho takes In
and sizes up n strange guest, as ho writes hit
namo for tho first time upon tho book before
blm, and bow accurately ho fits him and hia
pockot book with a room. It was about threo
years ago, whou, having successfully steered
bis canoo between Scylla and Charybdis in
tho United States congress, Judgo Spoor as
cended tbo bench of tho United States court
In Macon. Ho arrived in tho city nt night,
and, going direct to tbo Hotel Lanier, regis
tered "Emory Spoor" iu a business liko hand.
Whon bo bod finished his autograph tho alert
dork was already studying his koyboard,
evldontly a llttlo porploxed as to details. But
presently ho turned and asked: "Mr. 8ooor.
I what lino do you carry V "Mr. Spccr" looked
at him and repeated tbo question in ovidona
astonlslimont: "What lino do I enrryl I
don't understand you, sir. Do you alludo to
my poiuicsr- "o,nr, but 1 wanted to know
wbothor you required a large or small sample
room." Explanations followed, and that
hotel clerk nhvuys keeps mighty quiet when
bo goes into tbo United States court room.
I Savannah Nows,
illim Illoa Entrapped.
Dan llico, tho voteran showman, was nicely
fooled ono day, as bo wai engaged announo
, Ing tbo wonders of bit circus ouUido tho tent.
A man standing with a little boy iu tho crowd
near by cried out: "I'll bet you a dollar you
. cannot lot mo seo a lion." "Dono I" said tho
; showman, cugcrly; .'put down your money."
jTho man placed a dollar in tho hand of a
bystandor, and Dan did tho samo. "Now
walk this way," said tbo showman, "and TU
' soon convince you. Thero you are," said ho
; triumphantly; "look in that corner at tbo
beautiful Numidlan lion." "I don't seo any,"
responded tho man. "What's tho matter with
j your asked tho showman. "I'm bllud," was
tbo grinning reply, and in o fow minutes tbo
! man pocketed tho two dollars and went
away. Exchange