FUN . . .
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SERIOUSLY FOLKS
There’s nothing serious in this page. All
jokes are offered in the spirit of Minstrel
Tradition. We trust you will accept them
as such.
We Supplied the Gravelly Voices
You'll Hear in This Show.
MAC’S BAR
Closer to You Than Any UddeT
Your
NEIGHBORHOOD
STORE
A man was carrying an old
time grandfather’s clock down a
crowded street and unintention
ally collided with a woman,
knocking her down. After col
lecting her composure, the wom
an scathingly said, “Why don’t
you carry a wrist watch like ev
erbody else?”
If You Can't Find What You
Want.
Our Help Is Probably Sitting
On It.
McDonald’s
We Fake Personal Interest
In Every Customer.
GAMBLES
B«^Ore You Set It On Fire—
Insure It With Us.
R. H. (Ray)
SHRINER
Remember, A Man Doesn't Bite
a Dog Every Day!
THE FRONTIER
Your Business Is DEERE
to Us.
HARRY R. SMITH
IMPLEMENTS
Grant Peacock to Director
Howell: “Don’t you think I sing
with feeling?”
“No,” said Mr. Howell, “if
you had any feeling you would
n’t sing.”
i
*i .
i
Don't Marry for Money—
Borrow It from Us.
CENTRAL
FINANCE CORP.
WARNING: Don’t participate
in a heavy meal just before com
ing to the minstrel show, as you
wul be better able to enjoy
laughing. ' ‘ ,
-—
Left Handed Hammers and
Saws.
COAST TO COAST
STORE
/• ? ■ ■.5 *,'■
—
Jim Coker may never find the
perfect girl, but he’s having a
good time looking for her.
The average man is proof
enough that a woman can take
a joke.—Tony Asimus.
—
We Have the Latest Wrinkles
in Clothes.
PETERSEN
CLOTHING
A sign at the entrance of a
Detroit department store read,
“Ladies ready to wear clothes.’
Underneath in bold masculine
handwriting was added; “It’s
about time.”
Remember. Clothes Fake
the Man.
GAMBLES
_
_
_.
If Your Generator Won't Gin.
or Your Battery Won't Bid,
We'll Fix It.
SMITH MOTOR
Paul Shierk, Mgr.
Trousers is an uncommon
noun because it is singular at
the top and plural at the bot
tom.—Gus DeBacker.
The Rubber Store Where
Your Dollar Stretches.
GAMBLES
We Stand Behind Our Furniture.
Beds a Specialty.
MIDWEST FURN.
CO.
Don't Pass Us — ''Buy.''
JOHNSON DRUGS
Beggar: “Have you a good
meal for a hungry man?”
Mrs. Harry Gildersleeve, “Yes,
and he will be home shortly so
scat.”
Don't Squeeze Our Lemons—
Squeeze Our Cashier.
COUNCIL OAK
STORE
' *>
---
After an extended meeting the
'A arnan’s club adopted the fol
lowing resolution: That a flash
light is more useful on a dark
and stormy night to a girl than
to her boy friend.
A mugwump is a bird that sits
on a fence with its mug on one
side and its wump on the other,
says Lawrence 'Jonas.
.........
For the Whole Family—Father, Mother, Grandpa, Grai 1 ia and All the Kid:
^ O’Neill jLions -4
-.if/ ^
☆ ☆
Clever Dizzy
Comedy Dances
^7 7 5*7'
Snappy 1^; Musical
Stunts 1 toms.HowEu Mirth
40 - Local Actors and Singers - 40
8:I2!/2p.m. High School Auditorium oNeiii, Nebr.
ADMISSION: Adults 75c — Students 50c
Buy Your Ticket from Any Lions Club Member or at the Door.
_WET PROCEEDS TO LIONS CLUB CHARITY FUND
Two Nights - Thurs., April 30 & Friday, May 1
!
If We Don't Have It—
You Don't Want It.
GAMBLES
Wife: “I cook and bake for
you and what do I get? Noth
ing.”
Harry Clauson: “You’re lucky.
I get indigestion.”
; DOG HOUSES
Suitable For Large Dog or
Small Husband.
MOORE-NOBLE
LUMBER CO.
If You Have Troubles. Tell Us.
If Not Tell Us How You Do It.
O’NEILL NAT’L
BANK
Look for unusual weather
Thursday and Friday nights cf
next week followed by storms of
applause at the Lions Club Min,
strel in the high school auditori
um!
Everything from Shoe Polish
To False Teeth Cleaner.
LEE STORE CO.
Get Tanked Up With
Good Old Derby Gas.
NEW DEAL OIL
I
You'll Like Our Beef
Even When Stewed.
MYRT’S CAFE
Mike and Jane
BE HAPPY!
SEE THE
40
FUNNY MEN
IN THE
EXAGERATED
ANTICS OF THE
§-v - ‘ * • V n •• ' c
SECOND ANNUAL
■ • '-i k >'> - ' •
MINSTREL SHOW
• W ■ Y?
*“*- ' - ‘-san -“tf t' 4 ■■ ft” :,--j ' ■ ‘ *
^ " ■ i \ :
11
■
Everything Different from Last Tune!
Learn How to Memorize
Names—
Practice on Ours.
ELKHORN
FLOWER SHOP
If It Isn't In Our Store
Look Out on the Sidewalk.
GAMBLES
Our Meals Are So Tender
We Wonder How the Steer
Ever Walked.
4TH STREET
MARKET
Dear Chaperone: Every
time I raise a cup of coffee
to take a drink I get a
stabbing pain in my right
eye. What shall I do? —
Harold Lindberg.
Answer: Take the spoon
out of the cup before vou
'raise it.
I I
If I Am Out of Town
Make a Date With My Wife.
DeKALB SEED
CORN—A. E. Bowen
Come In!
We'll Dicker Over a Ticker.
McINTOSH
JEWELRY STORE
Mrs.: “I want to know if I
have grounds for a divorce.”
Lawyer Griffin: “Are you
married?”
Mrs.: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “Of course you have.”
Extra Large Towels
For the Whole Damp Family.
GAMBLES
Buy a Singer
And Stop Wasting Money
Elsewhere.
SINGER SEWING
CENTER
Our Hats Look
More Ridiculous Each Year.
GAMBLES
Attention Office Seekers!
New Planks for Political
Campaigns.
SPELTS - RAY
LUMBER CO.
BOOTS — For Cowboys With
Bow Legs.
OSBORNE’S
SHOE STORE
China for Throwing at Errand
Husbands.
GAMBLES
!^,4uuuimu.iiiu,.iiiuuiiiiiiiiiiiiimiimniiiiiiu;iiiiiiiiiiiiiliiaai-anlmmmj
COME TO OUR . . .
LIONS MINSTREL
See Our Local Hotshots Act Like the
Monkeys You Always Thought
They Were!
’^.r?1 - r
____
If Out Steaks Are Too Tough
For You —
Get Out! This Is No Place for
Sissies!
SLAT’S CAFE
Dear Chaperone: I am keep
ing company with three young
ladies in three different towns.
Please advise is this is proper.—
Answer: It’s not proper if the
R. V. Lucas,
other two find it out.
Penney's Saves Dollars!
PENNEY STORE
Looking For Your Husband?
He's Probably Behind the
Eight Ball at
MATT’S
RECREATION
Bob Evans may have been a
dude before he was married but
now his wife has him subdued.
Drag It In — Drive It Out!
A. MARCELLUS —
BUICK
Mrs. Ray Shriner was giving
instructions to a new maid and
said: “Now remember, when
you serve the member of my
club do not wear any jewelry.”
“Yes’m,” said the maid, “I
haven’t anything valuable, but
thanks for the warning.”
EXTRA LARGE TOWELS
Just Right for Answering
the Phone.
GAMBLES
It Takes a Lot of Pull to Get
Our Cream.
HARDING CREAM
CO.
If You Can't Find It In Our Store
Ask the Clerks — They Won't
Know Either.
BRIGHT’S RED &
WHITE STORE
Rahe Johnson approached Di
rector Howell with the follow
ing “joke’ that he wanted to use
in the minstrel show:
“I’ll say to you, ‘What is it
that flies through the air and
has four legs?’ and then you’ll
say, ‘I don’t know, what is it?’
then I’ll say, ‘Two ducks.’ ”
This broke up the rehearsal
for that night.
Saturday Special!
One Dollar Bills at S12.00 a Doz.
FIRST NATIONAL
BANK
Don't Kill Your Wife,
Let Our Washing Machine
Do the Work.
GAMBLES
Buy your tickets from anv
member of the Lions club.
We Maytag You Here or
We Maytag You There.
But We'll Tag You.
JACOBSON’S
1 ^
Dear Chaperone: Will it be J
safe for me to let my children |
go to the minstrel show?—Jim $
Corkle.
Answer: Yes, they will be in |i
the company of the best people t
in town. It is a funny show that |
they can enjoy with nothing in j
it to offend the most refined
person. |;
BIGL1N BROTHERS
Funeral Directors Furniture t
Phone 38
LOST—A pocketbook contain
ing a place to put money and a
list of ladies’ names. Finder may
keep the place to put money,
but would like to have the list.
—Fred Appleby.
APPAREL SHOP
Shop of Finer Fashions j
-"""""""" i
We Take Your Sense From You.
BEN FRANKLIN
STORE
At a meeting of the local Med- i:
ical society last week the doc- *■:
tors agreed to attend the min- :::
strel show in a body and have
a line party. As persons in the ::
audience are overcome by the
jokes and comedy of the show,
names of the doctors will be :::
called as they are drawn from a
pot.
We Kneed Your Dough.
M&M BAKERY
AND CAFE
Mrs. Matt Beha let a can op
ener slip last week and cut her
self in the pantry.
Our Grease Jobs Are Thorough.
Including Steering Wheel
and Upholstery.
i- i
Rastus said
to Judge D. R.
Mounts: “If
you knowed
my wife like
I does, you
wouldn’t call
me no desert
er. Ah’s a ref
ugee.”
Anyone Who f:
misses the
minstrel show |;
will be about »:
3,000 laughs f;
behind. If you
want to in- |
dulge in some f
real belly i
laughs .here is |
your chance. t
♦
