ADVENTURERS’ CLUB (
HEADLINES FROM THE LIVES
OF PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELFI
“Hospital Horror ’
By FLOYD GIBBONS
Famous Headline Hunter
Hello everybody:
You know, lots of adventures have happened because
someone did the wrong thing somewhere along the line,
but here’s one that resulted from saying the wrong thing.
It’s the story of George T. Parker of Brooklyn, N. Y., and
it’s as fine an example of a horrible experience as I’ve come
across in many a day.
It isn't that George talked out of turn, or tried to start an argument.
No—there's nothing like that in this yarn. What little George did say,
he said with the best und most peaceful intentions in the world As a
matter of fact, George was just out of the operating room and lying on
a hospital bed when he said it. Birds in that fix don’t go around looking
for fights, and you and I know it.
But just the same, George sure* talked himself into a sizable
lot of trouble. Trouble that probably caused one drath and came
mighty near causing George's.
It was April of 1917. The United States had just entered the World
war. and maybe you remember how we used to guard our bridges and
railroad yards in those days. Well, that's what George was doing He
was a private in the Seventy-first regiment, and his company was sent
to Kingston, N Y., to guard a bridge over the Rondout creek. They had
put a couple of freight cars on a siding and built bunks in them to house
the men, and it is in one of those freight cars that George’s story starts.
It was twelve midnight, and George was just leaving to lake his turn
at guard duty when he began to feel terrific pains. The doctor said it
was appendicitis, and he (lagged a train, loaded George on the baggage
ear and took him into the Kingston city hospital.
Bearded Old Man in Next Bed.
They held him in a ward for a day for observation. There were some
twenty other patients in the room, and one of them was a bed-ridden fel
low named Tony. He had been there fifteen years, poor devil, with a
broken spine. But helpless as he was, Tony is the hero of this yarn.
It was he who saved George's life.
While George was still under observation they brought in an
other patient—a bearded old man with a ease of blood poisoning
in his left arm. They put him in a bed right in front of George’s
and—well—somehow or other that old fellow gave George the
creeps every time he looked at him.
In the morning they took George out to the operating room and the
sawbones took out his appendix. They brought him back and put him
"Where In Thai Fifteen Cents?” He Hissed.
in the same bed he had had before right next to the old fellow with the
beurd who gave him the willies.
For two days after his operation, George was a pretty sick man,
what with the ether he had swullowed and the shock of being cut up by
the surgeon On the second day, the old fellow with the beard became
delirious and started to rave, and that didn't help George's frame of
mind any.
George Pretended to Be “Lenny.”
"He was talking about some one named Lenny,” George says, “and
he kept it up until everyone started to complain. 1 thought it would be
all right to try and pacify him, so when he called for Lenny again f
answered him.”
The trick seemed to work. The old fellow actually thought he was
talking to Lenny. “What did you do with that junk in the attic?" he
asked. And George answered, “I sold it.” "How much did you get
for it?” the old fellow wanted to know. And George told him, "Fif
teen cents.” After that the old fellow was quiet At ten o’clock the
light* were put out and George dozed off
And then, suddenly, George woke up at the sound of a foot
step beside his bed. "1 looked up,” he says, "and there, staring
down at me, was the old fellow. His eyes seemed to he popping
out of his head und Ills good hand was reaching down for my
throat. And in a low voic e he hissed, Where Is the lifteen cents’."
It might have been funny—that situation- if it hadn't been so pathetic,
too. But to George there was neither humor nor pathos in it—nor any
thing else but just plain terror. There he lay helpless, two days out of
the operating room, and hardly able to lift a finger in his own defense,
and over him stood a man out of his mind and plainly bent on violence
Strangling llim to Death.
"I was petrified with fright," says George. "Perspiration began
running off me like wuter from a faucet. The old man was in a long
white nightgown, with his long hair hanging down over his shoulders and
his white beard Towing over his chest. The moonlight was shining full
on him and the very picture of him was enough to scare u man to death.
"I couldn't find my voice—couldn't utter a word. I put up my hand
to protect myself, but it was weak and shaking. The old man grasped
me by the throat and began to squeeze. His hand was strong, nnd it's
lucky for me he didn't have two of them—that the other one was crip
pled with blood poisoning—or he might have strangled me then and
there."
As it was that one hand wasn't any too gentle. George wondered if
anyone in the room was awake. If he could only scream! But with the
old man's fingers tightening on his throat, it was too late for that now.
He wondered if he was going to die there, in the apparent safety of a hos
pital bed And then, suddenly, the lights came on. Nurses and attend
ants came running to the rescue. Tony, the poor fellow with the broken
apine. had brought help. He had awakened, seen what was happening,
and pushed the buzzer that summoned the nurse.
The old man was taken away to a padded cell, and on the following
morning he was dead The exertion had been too much for him
e— WNL' Service.
Ancient Ways of Greeting
How do you greet a friend when
you meet him or her in the street?
If you shake hands or take off your
bat you aren't doing anything new
You're just following old customs,
says a writer in London Answers
Magazine. In days of old. the join
ing of hands was equivalent to a
peace treaty—it meant that the
hands were free of weapons. And
even the boldest of knighte would
take off his helmet among friends
to show that he wasn't afraid of a
blow on the head Kissing, too. has
its origin in earliest times. The
old Greeks and Romans used to
kiss their friends and acquaintances
on every occasion. One old scholar
relates that is was polite, when
calling on anyone, to kiss first the
bust, then his wife, followed by all
bis children, and finally the dog and
cat
The Word "Starboard"
The w» d "starboard" appears to
have con e down from the earliest
Anglo-Sax ns. who called that side
of their Viking ships from which
the steei ing oar protruded the
"steorbo; d," which became cor
rupted to “starboard" or even the
"sta'b'd" of the tar. Naturally
enough, a cording to a writer in the
Chicago Tribune, the opposite of
the ship, which was brought in
contact with the jetty or wharf when
loading for fear of breaking the
steor or rudder, became the lading
board, laddebord. or larboard, later
changed to port because of the dan
ger of confusing larboard and star
board when hearing was difficult
during a storm. The full rigged ship
is seemingly a tangle of ropes, ev
ery one of which is called mar
tingale, stay, sheet, line, painter—
anything but a rope.
Striking Wools for Town, Camp
By CHERIE NICHOLAS
CMAK'l clothes are ulivt
’ with fabric interest this
fall. The woolens that tai
'or to town and campus
needs are especially in
triguing and seeing that
the requisite of a perfect j
autumn wardrobe is a tai
lored outfit that will prove {
'first aid" no matter what
apparel emergency may arise,
here's telling you about the fascl
nating weaves that lead in fashion
this season.
Tweeds especially have a lot ol
texture interest. They are nubbed
and flecked in decorative weavings
that capture your fancy at first
sight. When you go tweed shopping,
and of course you will if you are
assembling a school-faring clothes
collection, ask to see some of the
new-this-season candlewick tweeds
the latost herringbone weaves,
smart diagonals, the houndstooth.
tat^ersall. ropey plaid and sugar
leaf patternings, and you will feel,
having seen these, that you have
had a liberal education on the sub
ject of tweeds at the very start.
The next thing is to decide on
which tweed is the tweed you want
most To help you out we are sug
Resting a nubby beige tweed flecked
with white such as makes the smart
three-piece costume as shown to the
left in the picture. Here is an out
fit that is ideal for fall wear on
campus or in town. It pretty near
comes to being a whole wardrobe
in itself. A suit that has a topcoat
as has this is an economical buy no
matter what it costs, for it takes
care of the problem of an early
fall coat since it can be worn as a
separate wrap. Note its button-back
revers, also the unpressed pleats
running down from the slash pocket
lines The matching suit has a chic
high lapel collar, triangular pockets
and narrow leather belt. The skirt
is cut straight and slim as a fash
ionable daytime skirt must be this
season.
And we are not through talking
about tweeds for we just must men
tion the especially lovely “winter
pastels' that belong to the tweed
family. More than likely you won't
be able to resist them because ot
the fine Shetland and other fine
yarns used in the spinning. You can
get novelty open weaves it you wish.
Very youthful and attractive for
campus wear is the two-piece frock
of sheer rabbit woolen centered in
the group. The pleated-all-around
skirt bespeaks "last word” vogue.
You really must have a pleated wool
skirt if you are going away to school
to wear with your sweater, with
your suede jacket, and with blouses
galore. The wide shoulder line, high
lapel collar and front-buttoned jack
et closing are nice points but we’ve
saved the nicest point to the last—
those cunning little bows on the
pockets! Now there’s an idea that’s
going to send you right to the head
of the class. Made of the very self
same material as the suit itself
these bows add infinitely to the chic
of this most attractive outfit.
A luxurious natural wolf tuxedo
collar runs the length of the top
coat of this stunning three-piece cos
tume shown to the right. The tout
ensemble is made of novelty woolen
with a diagonal rib weave in deep
brown flecked with beige. This out
fit is entirely in line with the vogue
this season that calls for lavish
ment of fur on suits and coats. The
tuxedo effects are especially good
this season. Handsome furs will
be used unsparingly with care taken
in achieving color blends that unify
the costume.
Citing other fashionable wool
weaves there are the new coating
fabrics that have long hair inter
spersed and tightly embedded in the
texture, their sheen contrasting
against the soft surface of the fab
ric. Tightly twisted boucle nubs
are also decorative and colorful.
Persian lamb cloth is a new fab
ric this season. For children’s coats,
a new chinchilla fabric in soft colors
is important. Fleeces, both woven
and knitted, are in demand. Suedes,
velours and duvetynes are outstand
ing for dressy wear. For formal
type costumes broadcloth is a leader.
© Western Newspaper Union
-—— -
DRAPE AND SHIRR
Uv CHEKIK NICHOLAS
A pertect atternoon truck tor the
young girl is this style in spongy
texture lightweight wool. The
draped button over neckline and the
shirring at the bodice are very new
and attractive A narrow gold-col
ored belt accents the fitted waist
tine The skirt is softly flared.
Flaring Youth
For college girls and the very
young important collections include
gored. Haring skirts and some which
are pleated all around.
DAYTIME SKIRTS TO
BE SHORT AND SLIM
By C'HERIE NICHOLAS
Short, slim and pencil-like is the
dictum for daytime skirts. The ac
cepted length for the suit skirt is
from twelve to fifteen inches from
the ground Depends on how con
servative you may be Of a ne
cessity these narrow skirts often
have slashed hemlines. Daytime
dresses hover about twelve to four
teen inches from floor.
For evening dresses the newest
thing is the short-in-front hemline In
I fact uneven hemlines are a most
I important styling detail A few
| designers continue to favor the short
full ballerina skirts for dance
frocks. There are dinner gowns ga
lore that are ankle length and
, sheathlike, for the most part in
sleek black, many ot which are en
livened with glittering touches.
The majority have high necklines
with flattering short sleeves How
ever. in the practical daytime
dresses long sleeves perfectly fitted,
also bracelet sleeve lengths are fea
tured.
__
Double-Duty Capes
Enter the double-duty shouldei
cape, which may be looped up
over the wearer's head and used as
a hood.
Slide Fasteners Csed
The Schiaparelli type of house
coat developed in Hannel and fasten
ing at the front with a patent slide
fastener is popular.
The Big Bock Craze.
SANTA MONICA, CALIF.—
We’re promised a histori
cal novel longer than any yet
—say half a million words or
so. Of course, the author
probably uses some words at
least twice, but that won’t re
duce the gross tonnage un
less they’re very short words, j
I can't take it. While still con
valescent from “Anthony Adverse,”
I was stricken down
by “Gone With the
Wind” and had such
a relapse that even
now I barely can
hold on my stomach
such comparatively
light and trifling
stud as volume VET
to ZYM of the en
cyclopedia.
When reading this
modern bulk litera
ture, it upsets me to ,rvin s> Cobb
find my legs going
to sleep before I do. And the con
stant pressure makes callouses on
my second mezzanine landing.
I admit these mass production
books serve nicely as door stoppers
and for pressing wild flowers. I
also heard of a chap who detected
a prowler under his window and
dropped a frothy little work of fic
tion weighing slightly less than nine
pounds on the back of the fellow’s
neck, dislocating three vertebrae.
At last accounts, the surgeons were
still picking long jagged chapters
out of his spine.
In my present mood, what I crave
is the romantic stuff of olden days,
in which our sainted Aunt Sophie
was wont to inscribe “Alas, how
sad!” or “Only too true!" in pale
violet ink on the margins. What
happened to all the Aunt Sophies,
anyhow?
* • *
An Actor’s Temperament.
WE’VE all been waiting for
something to top it, but the
best wheeze of the month remains
the one that was emitted, not by a
paid gags«.er, but by a simple stage
hand at one of the studios when Mr.
Leslie Howard refused to go on
making a picture until a group of
distinguished visitors, including Mr.
Charles Norris, the novelist, had
been shooed off the set.
“He ain’t sore at you gents,” stat
ed the stage-hand to the ousted par
ties, “but he’s been playin’ ‘Ham
let’ on the regular stage and he ain’t
used to havin’ a crowd watehin’ him
while he’s actin’.”
If Mr. Norris and his friends want
ed to see some really great acting
they should have patronized the pro
fessional wrestling matches. That’s
where they put on the heavy dra
matic stuff—beautifully rehearsed,
perfectly done.
Children’s Education
1LIKE the way the wealthy
classes in England rear their
children. Little Rosemary doesn’t
recite for the company after dinner,
and if Master Jones-Terwillager Mi
nor gets uppity at school, he gets
thrashed.
Many a rich American has known
how sharper than a serpent’s tooth
it is to see his daughter grow up a
wanton and his boy turn out a wast
er. Yet, with a few exceptions—so
few that the newspapers comment
on tljem—it never seems to occur
to these fond fathers that less of
coddling and pampering and spoil
ing in adolescence and more of
wholesome discipline might produce
a higher average grade of heirs.
What set me to thinking along this
line was being t’other night at a
party where a poor little four-year
old, having already the pitiable as
surance of a veteran prima donna,
was fetched in to give impersona
tions. She never again could imper
sonate natural babyhood though,
more's the pity! And her pert small
brother was encouraged to domi
nate the talk.
Mark my word for it, that kid is
going to come to no good end—not
even a well-spanked end, which
would help.
* ♦ •
Mr. Pincus’ Coup.
IN THESE topsy-turvy times lib
eral-minded patriots who are
striving to steer a middle course
between ultraenthusiastic left-wing
ers and ultraconservative rightists
might do well, methinks, to follow
the example set by Mr. Pincus.
Mr. Pincus had opened a clothing
store. Immediately on one side of
him was the clothing store of Mr.
Ginsberg and immediately on the
other side was the clothing store of
Mr. Dreifus: and three clothing
stores in a row were too many even
for Essex street.
So the adjacent competitors
framed a plot to put the newcomer
out of business. Next morning their
rival, coming down to open up,
found over Mr. Dreifus’ establish
ment a flaming legend, to wit:
BANKRUPT SALE
And above Mr. Ginsberg’s door
was this equally prominent an
nouncement:
CLOSING OUT SALE
Within an hour, smeared across
the entire front of Mr. Pincus' store,
exactly in between the other two,
appeared a huge sign reading as
follows:
MAIN ENTRANCE.
IRVIN S. COBB.
C—WNV Service.
Vying for Your Favor
/^\NE, two, three smart frocks
on the line ready to go—shop
ping, kitchenwards, to the office
downtown. And as every woman
knows, a well stocked wardrobe
needs all three.
From Now On.
Says the jaunty model to the
left, “I can tell I’m gonna feel
well dressed in this little peplum
frock: ready for sports, a matinee
or dinner in town, and the confi
dent high spirits my new lines
give make me sure that,I will be
wanted at all three.
“I made my .version of sheer
wool with a subdued herringbone
weave. It will be my number
one attire for a long spell ahead.”
One Who Knows.
Miss Keep-the-Home-Beautiful,
in the center, expresses herself:
“Even when I do housework I !
like to look and feel fit.
“When I dash out to the store or
go across lots to the neighbor’s to
borrow an egg, I don’t bother to
change my dress because I have
the feeling I’m doing all right as
I am. I wouldn’t think of a new
season coming on without running
up a generous supply of crisp,
fresh dresses for myself. They
seem to set one right, you know,
and give you the spirit to pitch
into any day’s work like a cham
pion.”
The Last Word.
Miss Third Party goes in for
that new kind of glamour in the
simple model at the right. Says
she: “I feel that Fall is really the
season to step out and hob-nob
with Fashion and the Joneses.
This frock, which is my weakness
in plum-colored wool, was as easy
to make as it is to wear.
“Later on I’m going to have a
velvet version with short sleeves—
these slim lines and elegant shoul
ders were just made for this
'Tcivotite Kecipe
ofi the U/eel-—
FLOATING ISLAND
2 lit cups milk *.4 tsp. salt
Grated orange rind >b cup sugar
2 whole eggs */2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg yolk
Scald milk with orange rind.
Beat eggs and egg yolk slightly,
mix with salt, sugar and vanilla.
Add hot milk gradually, return to
double boiler, cook until custard
coats spoon and foam disappears
from surface. Strain and chill.
Serve with meringue and garnish
with jelly. This will make a de
licious dessert.
Uncooked Meringue.
1 egg white Few drops vanilla
Few grains salt or orange extract
2 tbs. sugar ,
Beat salted and flavored egg
white to stiff foam. Add sugar, a
tablespoonful at a time, beating
until all granules are dissolved.
queen of all fabrics—and evi
dently I go for things royal.”
The Patterns.
Pattern 1348 is designed in sizes
12 to 20 (30 to 38 bust). Size 14 re
quires 4% yards of 39-inch materi
al, plus 1% yards fot contrast.
Pattern 1304 is designed for
sizes 34 to 46. Size 36 requires
3% yards of 35-inch material, plus
1k yard contrasting.
Pattern 1374 is designed for
sizes 12 to 20 (30 to 38 bust). Size
14 requires 2% yards of 54-inch
material. With short sleeves, size
16 requires 4 yards of 39-inch ma
terial, plus % yard for collar in
contrast. To trim the collar re
quires 4% yards of braid.
Send your order to The Sewing
Circle Pattern Dept., Room 1020,
211 W. Wacker Dr., Chicago, 111.
Price of patterns, 15 cents (in
coins) each.
© Bell Syndicate.— WNTJ Service.
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