r^'lADVENTURERS'
“Bucking Bronchos on Broadway ’
By FLOYD GIBBONS
Famous Headline Hunter.
SOFARELLI is the name, boys and girls, and Pat is the first
name. There’s a combination for you, Patrick Sofarelli.
Whenever you get that combination of good old Irish and Italian
names adventure is the middle one. Pat’s middle name is Ad
venture.
Incidentally, have you ever noticed how the Irish get mlied up with
all the races of the world? South America Is full of Senor Murphys and
Senor O’Learya, and they are all good old Spanlsh-Amerlcan families that
have lived there hundreds of years. When I was In Spain I was aston
ished to find a lot of freckle-faced, red headed senors, too. that had the
map of Ireland on their faces.
The reason for the “turkey" blood in aouthern Spain Is this:
During the Napoleonic campaign in Spain, Wellington sent an
army of Irish conscripts into that country. Those romantic
Irish boys took one look at the sloe eyed Spanish senoritas, and
the senoritas took one longing look at the blue-eyed giants, and
the result was the Irish deserted by thousands and settled down
to raise red heads in old Spain. And they certainly did a good
job of it.
(Jetting hack to Pat Sofarelli. Pnt’s Itnllnn forebears had their share
of adventure, too. Why, by golly, those old Romans didn't think a thing
of traveling a few thousand miles for a week end of high adventure and
conquest. The difference between the two races was that the Homans
always fought their own wars, and how!
This Adventure Starts With an Ice-Wagon.
One bright summer's day when Pat and his boy friends were bored
with the prosaic life of New York, an Ice wagon drew up In front of them
and offered possibilities for adventure.
“I dare you to ride the Ice man’s horse," one of them said to
Pat. Well, Pat doesn't take dares, so he Just climbed up on that
wagon and crawled out on the shafts. The horse was a big brute,
but he didn’t seem to mind. He Just stood there and waited. The
ice man was out of sight, so Pat swung a leg over his trusty
mount and plopped into the saddle—I mean the bareback.
Well, sir, Pat says he had no sooner taken his uncertain seat than
that meek Ice wagon horse turned Into a wild bucking bronco. Wham!
He put his ears back and his hack up und started to kick like a colt.
Pat Swung a Leg Over Hia Trusty Mount.
Pat got a death grip on the harness and held on. Up In the air he went
at every buck, to come down on the hard backbone of the horse with a
Jolt that shook every bone In his body.
City Street Is No Place to Run a Rodeo.
The other kids loved It. "Hide 'em cowboy," they yelled, but Pat
didn't like It at all. Hiding a bucking brone may be all right out on the
western prairies, where you land In nice soft turf when he throws you,
but on an asphalt street It's plain murder.
And that horse, Pat aaya, knew his tricks. He swung his big
head around and, baring a huge set of yellow tusks, tried to bite
Pat’s leg. Pat kicked his head away as well as he could, and
that hurt the horse's feelings, so he just grabbed the bit—instead
of Pat’s leg—and started to run away. Pat never thought a
horse could pull an ice wagon ao fast.
Down the street they went ut 11 mlle-a minute clip, with the Ice
wagon swaying perilously behind and Pat banging on for dear life.
Automobiles Just missed them as the frantic horse ran from one side of
the street to another.
Children's Laughter Turns to Grave Fear.
The other kids weren't laughing now as they chased after the run
away. They were scared to death. They could see that Pat was going
to be thrown sooner or later—he was Just hanging on hy the skin of his
teeth. Around corners they'd go without giving a signal. Up on two
wheels would go the lumbering Ice wagon and Pat's body would swing
out as though It were going to fall right under the crushing wheels.
Pat says he tried to think of everything he had teen the cow
boys do In the rodeo pictures, but nothing seemed to work. Once
he decided to throw himself off and trust to luck, but hie foot got
tangled in the reins and he got a terrific Jolting for his pains.
While he was trying to loosen that foot the horse suddenly decided
to go across country. Without any consideration for the rights of pedes
trlans he Jumped up on the curb and across the sidewalk Into a vacant lot.
The Ice wagon bounded and plunged from side to side but kept upright.
From the shaking he got, Pat says, the Ice In that wagon must have been
cracked Ice by that time.
Pat Returns to Bosom of Mother Earth.
At last he got his foot free, but Just as he did, Mr. Horse decided
that he had bnd about enough of tills horse piny and he proceeded to
give one of those extra hard bucks that end up with four hoofs bitting
the ground at the same time. As a matter of fact, tlve things hit the
ground at the same time—the fifth was Pat.
Pat sailed through the air like a human cannon-ball. He
closed his eyes and waited for the shock. At least there was one
consolation, he thought, he was landing on soft ground instead of
on the hard pavement.
Wham! He turned over In the air and landed on that same sore
portion of his anatomy that had been taking all the beating! And that
wasn't all! The horse was what the cowboys call a "killer!" And a
killer goes after you when you're down! Pat saw the ponderous hoofs
raised above his he*d. He couldn't move he was so terrified. The horse
had stopped—this saved him from being run over by the wagon—but that
horse was actually trying to trample him.
Heels of Death Miss Pat by Inches.
Up came the front hoofs us the furious horse reared and down they
came within an Inch of Pat's head. A miss! Up they went over Pat's
head for another try and down they came again for another miss. Pat
couldn't believe It until they pulled him away and he saw what had saved
his life.
A wagon wheel had got caught on a stump and this held the
horse just far enough away to keep him from reaching hia
victim)
Well, sir. It was all over then but the bawling out Pat got from the
Iceman—which Isn’t much after you’ve nearly been killed.
O—WNU Service.
High Priestess
In India everything pertaining to '
family matters is settled by the old
er women, usua.'ly the grandmoth
ers. They are almost high priest
asses of the home.
Use Butter ti Medicine
Hindoos use ••ghee," a clarified
butter, as a medicinal agent, be
lieving that Its elltcacy as an ex
ternal application Increases with
age.
BRISBANE
THIS WEEK
Divide and Rule
Big Men, Light Eyes
Why Go Naked?
Borrowing a Blimp
Mr. Green, American Federation
i of Labor head, warns the miners’
Arthur llrlaliniir
union not to
spilt up the fed
eration. Mr. Lew
is, leader of the
miners, tells Mr.
Green, In suh
stance, “You
mind your own
business.” A la
bor split seems
near.
Union labor
should consider
the fable of the
dying peasant
who summoned
his sons and
showed them
how they could break small sticks
separately, but could not break
them when all were tied together.
Louis XI's motto, Divide et lm
pera (“Divide and rule"). In dealing
with powerful nobles, Is not un
known to the enemies of union la
bor, or Goethe's
Divide and rule! Powerful word.
Unite and lead! Better word.
A lonely Kngllsh soldier living on
an island in the Indian ocean wrote
that he wanted a wife, saying, “I
have hazel eyes," nothing else about
himself. Already 250 Kngllsh girls
have offered to marry him. The
240 disappointed may find comfort
In a better marriage, picking out
somebody with blue eyes. It an
noys many, but It must be said that
practically all the great men In his
tory had blue or gray eyes, even
men from durk-eyed races, like Na
poleon from Corsica. Caesar from
Rome.
To save answering questions, here
Is a short list: Washington, Jeffer
son, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Edison,
Henry Ford. Look up the others.
Near Tampa, Fla., a schooner
loaded with men, women, children,
on the way to establish a nudist
colony in the Virgin Islands, ran
aground. Navigators were unwilling
to sign for a nudist enterprise,
afraid, perhaps, of catching cold, so
the ship ran ashore.
Nudism is a queer atnvlstic crav
ing. The human race began that
way in the Garden of Eden, and
each of us starts out as i nudist at
birth. The struggle Is to keep
clothed thereafter.
It Is a strange demoralization
that makes some long to run about
undressed; the more strange be
cause they look so hideously ugly.
Discouraged hy Incompetence that
wrecked two dirigibles, this coun
try decided that lighter than air
machines are not necessary. It was
necessary to borrow a small prl
vntely owne,d blimp to take food to
3,000 Tangier Islanders, cut off from
relief by Ice. No heavier than air
plane could land there before the
blimp, which lunded easily.
Mussolini threatens to leave the
league If It Includes a ban on oil
In Its sanctions. In modern war,
no oil, no war. Mussolini may buy
old Americnn ships to use as float
ing gnsollne storage tunks. Had he
come a little sooner he could hnve
had plenty of them at a bargain,
about one thousand million dollars’
worth of expensive steel floating
"Junk" built when this country’s
foolish entrance Into the World war
found It unprepared.
England and Russia were getting
along nicely, and now the Russian
envoy, LttvlnolT, attending the late
king’s funeral, commits the Itrltlsh
unpardonable sin.
After talking with the new king,
LitvInofT, Instead of expressing ad
miration for the overwhelming
royal Intellect, remarked that the
now king, Edward VIII. was "Just
a mediocre young Englishman” and
repeated what the young king had
said to him, something "not done.”
Mr. Norman Thomas of the So
cialist left wing runs for President
sometimes and says the "New
Deal” is leading to Fascism, a dic
tator.
In Italy Socialism, and doctrines
even more radical, led to the rise
of Mussolini, aided by castor oil and
other methods. If our dictatorship
comes, some radicals will look hack
sudly to the good old days when you
could speak your mind without be
ing shot or put to work.
One mans frostbite is another
man’s good news. New Jersey fruit
growers say the extreme cold, freez
ing the ground two feet deep, will
destroy orchard pests. Including the
gypsy and coddling moths. The cold,
which has not Injured trees. Is ex
pected to discourage larvae of the
Japanese beetle.
Col. Charles A. Lindbergh spent
his thirty-fourth birthday In Wales,
his wife and one son with him. He
must have felt that he had already
lived 1(K) years, and have wished,
almost, that he had been content to
remain In the airmail service, apart
from the limelight.
C Kins Feature* Syndicate, luo.
Flowers, Jewels and Rich Fabrics
Bv CHERIE NICHOLAS
□S THE winter and midseason
social activities reach their
height and ns high-life society car
ries on gay festivity in fashionable
southern resorts, one is impressed
with the surpassing elegance of the
more formal modes. Smart gather
ings, be they grand opera audiences,
diners at the smartest places in
town or sojourners in the South
lands, all bespeak the trend to a
new high In splendor and opulence
as expressed in terms of rich fab
rics, precious furs, gorgeous Jewels
nnd the wearing of rare and lovely
flowers.
To add to the fascination of the
style picture there is a definite
movement toward individual, dis
tinctive hairdress such as recap
tures the charm of wearing flow
ers, Jeweled ornaments or exotic
feather fancies in ornate coiffures.
The aristocracy of current mode
calls for materials of high degree
fashioned with that master sim
plicity which makes rich fabrics
look richer. Such is the lovely en
semble centered in the accompany
ing illustration. Consider it, if you
will, as a fancy "in lilac time” for
such it would seem to be. A pe
tite society girl wore this very
lovely creation at a velvet fashion
revue presented during a ball at a
leading “way down south" hotel
recently. The dress is lilac velzan
za, wldch is sheer and cool to
wear. The long voluminous cape
with big scarf collar draped over
the shoulders is of lilac crush-re
slstant velvet. Note the glitter
ing Jeweled bracelet and the cor
sage which declares a revival of
that lovely custom of wearing
flowers.
The lady to the left, In the pic
ture, tells you via her very charm
ing costume that to Interpret fash
ion correctly, one must wear a
glamorous necklace with bracelet
to match, furthermore the coiffure
must be enhanced with an ornate
bandeau, which, in this instance.
is of velvet anti wee ostrich tips
The unique velve# belt done in
petal or leaf motif, also the coro
net of feathers and velvet, are In a
deep rich purple tone matching the
cape that was worn with the gown.
A semi-sheer nubby material woven
on a velvet loom is the fabric of
this pale leaf-green evening dress.
Reports from all fashion centers
in regard to the new season’s trends ;
place emphasis on the Importance
of strictly tailored short jackets
that top rather short slenderizing
skirts. The majority of first ar
rivals in the suit realm give pref
erence to mannish types of hip
length. The model to the right Is j
along this line of thought—neat and
natty to a nicety. The slim straight
skirt is of brown crystelle and the
fitted jacket of white. Fabrics such
as this, that are woven on a vel
vet loom, are becoming Increasing- '
ly popular where dainty lightweight
material is wanted that is suitable
and practical for year-round wear.
The white hat with brown veil that i
tops this stunning outfit Is tres chic. 1
Most of the hats coming from Paris |
feature decorative veils. Brown kid
gloves, brown kid shoes, and a
white leather bag complete this up
to-the-moment costume.
Some of the most striking and
most beautiful ensembles for for- :
inal nights are white in every de
tail. A likable formula for full
dress is the all-white gown of vel
vet which is as sheer as chiffon, or
it may be of -white crepe, satin or
taffeta, to which add a snowy er
mine wrap, long white gloves, two
strands of pearls, diamond brace
lets or a single wide one, a dia
mond hair clip and three pure
white orchids pinned to a narrow
shoulder strap.
(8 Western Newepaper Union.
PLEATED CREPE
By CHER1E NICHOLAS
The Hair for coloriul crepe frocks
for afternoon wear Is resulting in
such stunning models being turned
out as this picture depicts. This
very attractive luncheon or after
noon tea frock is of crepe in a
wistful violet shade. The girdle is
of silvered kid and violet suede.
The felt hat is in matching violet
shade. Pleating, tucking, and stitch
ing, also braiding, "ill be lavished
on fashionable apparel this season.
Many Pleats
It takes a slim figure to wear
them, hut there is great charm to
skirls entirely pleated Dinner and
more formal evening gowns with
this skirt feature give the wearer
a lovely, buoyaut air.
REAL FLOWERS IN
HAIR, IS NEW FAD
Headdresses, as the newest of the
formul accessories, embrace a wide
variety. Such a wealth of real
flowers, worn not only in the hair
In arresting ways, such as the half
cap of six gardenias which covered
one side of a young girl’s coiffure,
but also on the shoulders and cor
sage of women of all ages—has not
been seen around these parts in
years. Orchids and gardenias are
the favorites, but one sees also real
daisies, cornflowers, carnations used
in effective fashions.
The little Juliet cap is perhaps
the most popular jeweled headdress
these nights: these are in rhine
stones or pearls, and very rarely
in coral, sometimes with turquoise.
Schiaparelli’s chenille snood Is an
other variation of this fashion, but
most young girls seem to prefer the
sparkle of jewels among their curls.
Hobble Skirt Is Returning
According to Paris Report
Patou again outdoes himself in
his new silhouett treatments and
expert dressmaking.
The hobble skirt Js returning.
Hands of fabric hang free from
shoulder to hem. Others have tight
front skirts, with wide circular
back gores, laid in flat pleats, the
width held in p’-o-o. Some eve
ning models are slit back and front.
Silk talfeta Is used to interpret
gowns with hack fullness, in gath
ers sweeping backward from the
waist. One is In black silk taffeta,
with scarlet elvet ribbon encrust
ed around the waistline. Others
are in tlosvered silk taffeta.
Fur Hats
Mink tnd Persian lamb are nsed
frequently to make the beguiling
fur hats enjoying such popularity
this season. Many wearers will
bless their milliners when bitter,
tricky, winter winds begin to blow,
and the little fur hat stays snugly
Just where It Is supposed to stay
Among Us Breeders
By E. P. O’BRYAN
C) McClure Newspaper Syndicate.
WNU Service.
A WEEK after they opened the
office In the Kern building
where you could go to make a quiet
little bet on the ponies and maybe
win a few dollars. Grandma Hosted
der went before the city council and
raised so much fuss about the
"outrage” that the city fathers had
to do something about it. The Eve
ning News, a conservative paper,
printed the story, and this fright
ened the mayor half out of his wits.
He ordered the place closed at once.
Twice after that other places
started up quietly, and met the
same fate; Grandma Hostedder saw
to that.
But finally they elected a new
mayor, and a new city council, and
the mayor himself liked to lay a
little bet now and then, and to
watch the ponies gallop around the
oval. So It came about that a some
what modern booking office (that
was the dignified term given it)
came Into being, where you could
go and bet a little money on any
horse no matter where, for direct
wires came into the office from all
the tracks.
Grandma Hostedder was away for
a couple of months during all this
and when she came back to town
there was a pretty how-to-do. She
called a meeting of the Reform
league and declared the nuisance
had to stop. She went around from
door to door and tried to stir up re
sentment. She collected a few fol
lowers and on Tuesday night they
were on hand wtien the council met
in Town Hall.
Grandma Hostedder faced them,
her dander up. She declared the
betting establishment was a dis
grace, that It took the very bread
out of the mouths of children, and
that If the city council didn’t or
der the chief of police to close the
place she would get out an Injunc
tion.
The council ended by passing an
ordinance permitting horse racing
at the county fair grounds and then
Grandma Hostedder did blow up.
She waved her umbrella at the
mayor and called him a gangster,
whereupon the mayor arose and ex
tended her an invitation to attend
the first race meet as his guest.
During the next three weeks
Grandma put on a whirlwind cam
paign against the race meet and
against betting. She trudged from
door to door, but the resentment
was dying down. Business was bet
ter and all the merchants were
looking forward to the opening,
with prospects of increased sales.
It was no go. A week before the
track opened Grandma had a nerv
ous breakdown. They took her to
the Little Flower hospital for a
rest. Severely shaken by her de
feat she refused to see anyone.
The day the track opened the
mayor sent his private car to the
Little Flower hospital. Four of the
mayor’s stenographers went with it.
They posed as indignant house
wives and begged Grandma to ac
company them to the track for a
demonstration. Grandma listened
and finally, a new light of battle In
her eye, agreed to go.
The stage was all set when the
mayor’s car arrived. Hastily men
went about the business of getting
the first race under way. Grand
ma had a seat in a box just opposite
the judge’s stand. She looked a lit
tle pale, but nevertheless there was
battle in her eye.
A bugle blew and the crowd
cheered.
“Here they come!”
The horses were being paraded
before the stands.
Horror of horrors! The third
horse in line had a big white ribbon
draped along his side and on it In
gold letters ran the legend:
Grandma Hostedder's Entry
Lucky Boy.
The crowd went wild. Already
they had spotted Grandma, her pert
little hat at a belligerent angle, her
eyes snapping cold defiance.
At first Grandma did not under
stand and then suddenly it dawned
on her that she had been duped.
She started to get up. but the girls
flocked about her so that she could
not escape. Miss Henderson, the
mayor’s secretary, in her quiet, effi
cient way began whispering things
to Grandma.
“You see. It’s like this. The
horse is really yours. It’s one they
had out at your ranch at Clearwa
ter. Somebody brought him in and
entered him under your name.
Iteally it is!’’
Grandma was wide-eyed. “Why,
It’s that colt of Molly’s, ain’t It? It
must bo.”
Ask Jeff Slagle what happened
In that race. He’ll tell you Grand
ma Hostedder can swing a wicked
parasol. Yes, sir. In her excite
ment she busted his brand new
straw hat all to smithereens.
And Jeff will tell you also that
i Lucky Boy was just a common
old plug from the livery stable
they hired for $2.50 and that no
! body expected him to come any
where near winning. But he did—
beat the mayor’s own entry.
The other dny Grandma Hos
! tedder was before the city council
j again, raising Cain because that
august body hadn’t appropriated
enough funds to keep the race track
In shape for the summer meet. "Us
breeders.” she began, “demand
action—”
STEERING A BATTLESHIP
A modern battleship is steered by
means of an electrical controller
similar to that used by motormen on
street cars.
ITWORKED
FOR ME
; 1
Women should
take only
liquid
laxatives
ILfORE people could feel fine, be
Ivl. fit and regular, if they would
only follow the rule of doctors and
hospitals in relieving constipation.
Never take any laxative that is
harsh in action. Or one, the dose of
which can’t be exactly measured.
Doctors know the danger if this rule
is violated. They use liquid laxatives,
and keep reducing the dose until the
bowels need no help at all.
Reduced dosage is the secret of
aiding Nature in restoring regularity.
You must use a little less laxative
each time, and that’s why it should
be a liquid like Syrup Pepsin.
Ask your druggist for a bottle of
Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin, and if
it doesn’t give you absolute relief, if
it isn’t a joy and comfort in the way
it overcomes biliousness due to con
stipation, your money back.
Another Cause
A whole lot of the misery of this
old world Is caused by folks being
bald-headed—on the Inside.—Tramp
Starr.
/cHAPPEDl
VJLIPSfJ
HI To quickly relievo 111
I I chapping, roughness, III
HI cracking, apply soothing, yl\ i
I cooling Mentholatum. \\\ ■
Have you fried the
MEW MENTHOLATUM LIQUID
for head colds ?
Like Mentholatum ointment
it brings soothing comfort
> _
f
Vy/HEN kidneys function badly and
W you suffer a nagging backache,
with dizziness, burning, scanty or too
frequent urination and getting up at
night; when you feel tired, nervous,
all upset... use Doan's Pills.
Doan’s are especially for poorly
working kidneys. Millions of boxes
are used every year. They are recom
mended the country over. Ask your
neighbor!
I ■
ELECTRIC LIGHTS
Wind driven. You build them. Write
Wind Motor Electric. Rldcwar. Montano.
ARP'S YELLOW DENT HIGII YIELDING
CORN. Field matured. 9T per rent germina
tion. Write Adolph Arp, Eldrldge, Iowa.
BEFORE BABY COMES
Elimination of Body Waste
Is Doubly Important
In the crucial months before l>abv arrives
it is vitally important that the body be rid
of waste matter. Your intestines must func
tion—regularly,completely without griping.
Why Physicians Recommend
Milnesia Wafers
These mint-flavored, candy-like wafers are
pure milk of magnesia in solid form
much pleasanter to take than liquid. Each
wafer is approximately equal to a full adult
dose of liquid milk of magnesia. Chewed
thoroughly, then swallowed, they correct
acidity in the mouth and throughout the
digestive system, and insure regular, com•
plete elimination without pain or effort.
Milnesia Wafers come in bottles of 20 and
48, at 35c and 60c respectively, and in
convenient tins for your handbag contain
ing 12 at 20c. Each wafer is approximately
one adult dose of milk of magnesia. All
good drug stores sell and recommend them.
Start using these delicious, effective
anti-acid, gently laxative wafers today
Professional samples sent tree to registered '
physicians or dentists if request is made
on professional letterhead. Select Products,
Inc., 4402 23rd St., Long Island City, N. Y.
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