JESTER WELL PAID
FOR MAKING MIRTH
The business of making (be public
faugh has readied large proportions.
This modern career offers opportu
nity to gain substantial fortunes by
those who know what the masses will
consider funny. The salaries of
broadcasting humorists now far ex
ceed those of grand opera stars, uud
they not only receive big pay thorns
solves but substantial sums are paid
to their collaborating writers. There
is the offsetting disadvantage that a
Joke which could be used for months
In a play Is good for only one radio
performance.
These modern Jolcesmiths are seri
ous students of the psychology of
laughter, who scientifically go about
the business of tickling the risibility
of their audiences. 'Hie gagman
knows that Incongruity Is a great
source of mirth. A chicken In n
barnyard is seldom funny, but If It
enters the dining room during a for
mal banquet It causes shrieks of
laughter. Another source of humor
is found In the feeling of superior
ity that people experience when they
anticipate a joke before it is actually
sprung. Then (hero is humor which
consists of a narrow escape from
harm or tragedy. Iloing run over, or
falling and breaking n leg. does not
make people laugh, but a close shave
from which the victim emerges with
his dignity ruffled Is often funny. All
these things llie gagman knows and
manipulates in muking his comedy.
The oid Idea that merriment Is
trifling and unworthy of serious men
ha* given way to I lie knowledge that
a sense of humor may often enable
a man to rise above Ids troubles.
"Tell me what you laugh at and I’ll
tell you your mental age," said Pro
fessor tiiium, of Rutgers college. A
souse of humor Is a sense of propor
tion. Laughter at one’s self Is a test
of character. The gaguiun docs not
often dare to use this reputed type
of humor and turn Ihe laugh on his
audience, ns Aristophanes did, but
his strides have taken him far from
the oid slapstick comedy, so time
may even curry him Into this range
of drollery.
Dr. Pierce’* Pellets are beat for liver,
bowels and stomach. One little Pellet for
S laxative—-three for a catburtic.—Adv,
Becomes Monotonous
A man does not please long when
he ha* only one species of wit.
WOMEN: watch your
BOWELS
What should women do to keep theii
bowels moving freely? A doctor
should know the answer. That is why
pure Syrup Pepsin is so good for
women. It just suits their delicate
organism. It is the prescription of an
old family doctor who has treated
thousands of women patients, and
who made a special study of bowel
troubles.
It is fine for children, too. They
love its taste. I.et them have it every
time their tongues are coaled or their
skin is sallow. Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup
Pepsin is made from fresh laxative
herbs, pure pepsin and other harm
less ingredients.
When you’ve a sick headache,
can’t cat, are bilious or sluggish;
and at the times when you are most
apt to be constipated, take a little of
this famous prescription (all drug
•lores keep it ready in big bottles),
and you'll know why Dr. Caldwell a
Syrup Pepsin is the favorite laxative
of over a million women I
' ’ ‘ ' - - - - -■ - . ■■ |
Da. W. D. Caldwcll's
SYRUP PEPSIN
A Doctor's Family Laxative
THIS WOMAN
LOST 35 LBS.
OF FAT
Min St. Kilntr of Brooklyn, H. Y.,
«mi«: "Hare u»cd Kruaclirii for the pawt
4 month* un<] have not oujy lo»t 35 pounds
hut fwl «o much brtter In every way. Rvru
for people who don’t care to reduce,
KrUM hen I* wonderful to keep the syDtem
healthy. 1 brine a curve uliould know for
I’ve tried do many Ihlnyi but only Krunolum
mannered all uurpooee." (Mur It. 19.1t).
TO lose fat SAFELY and HARM
LESSLY, take a half teaspoonful of
Kruschen In a glass of hot water
in the morning before breakfast—
don’t miss a morning—a bottle that
lasts 4 weeks costs but a trifle—but
don’t take chances—be sure it’s
Kruschen—your health comes first—
get it at any drugstore in America.
If not joyfully satisfied after the
first bottle—money back.
! PARKER’S
HAIR BALSAM
Sniw Dandruff Stop* Bair K idling
Imparts Color and
Boast? to Gray and Fadod Halt
60c and tl .00 at Druggist* „ _
Htseoi < W Wtr'OairWW.rJ
FLORESTON SHAMPOO — Ideal for usa In
connection with Parkcr'sHair Balaam. Makaa the
hair soft and fluffy. 60 cants by mail or at drug*
gists. Uisoox Cbasnieal Works. Patcbogua, N.X.
MURDER Bv An I *8™ I
ARISTOCRAT ^ |
1!
“Good morning, Miss
Keate,” said Evelyn as I en
tered. "No one else is down
yet, but we may as well tell
Emmeline to serve our break- |
fast. There’s no need to wait.
Hilary and I stayed here last
night, you know.” Matter-of
fact, calm, practical. You
would never have dreamed
from Evelyn’s manner that
anything at all unusual had
happened. Her gold hair was
smooth and neat, her shoul
ders erect, her dark blue eyes
steady and cool, and only the
dark pockets around them
showed that it had been, as it
must have been, a night of
anxiety. Her poise compelled
my admiration, although I
think it was not due so much
to courage as it was to a cer
tain lack of temperament; a
faculty for seeing only the
practical, material aspects of
a problem. She would never
harass herself with doubts or
regrets or fears. She con
cerned herself only with ex
pediency.
Her brown hand was very
steady as it touched the bell,
and her voice clear as she
asked Emmeline to serve i
breakfast. She was pouring
my coffee when Janice en
tered.
"Oh, my dear, I didn’t ex
pect you down so early. Here,
sit here in this place. I didn’t
mean to usurp your place be
hind the coffee.”
"No, no, don’t move.” Janice
uat wearily in her customary
place. "Good morning, Miss
Keate. Isn’t Adela coming
down to breakfast, Evelyn?”
"She seems to be sleeping
late,” replied Evelyn, handing
me my cup. “It’s just as well.
She looked bad last night. |
Adela’s not as young as we
are.”
"Thanks.” Janice took her j
own cup, drank some of the
coffee, and began to look a
little less drained of life. Ex
cept for its look of terrible
burned out fatigue, her face
was rather cold and rigid and
as immaculate of feeling as
her white frock. I could de
tect nothing of the passion
that had written itself into
her letter; of the extremely
sentient and aware look that
had lit her face with so spent
and tragic a beauty only the
night before, when she’d left
Allen standing there in the
hall looking as if his heart
and his every hope went with
her up those stairs. She was
not beautiful that morning;
I think she was controlling
her every thought.
“Did you sleep?” asked
Evelyn.
"No,” said Janice briefly.
“Where’s Hilary?”
"He went home to shave and
get fresh clothes. He ought to
be back in a few moments.
Allen is coming with him. I
thought we might as well have
breakfast here together. Dr. |
Bouligny said he would stop
in to tell us about the inquest
—when it’s to be, and all.
Dave is sleeping late, too.”
"Yes.”
Rapid footsteps along the
hall preluded Hilary’s appear
ance at the door. He was. as
usual, immaculate; his thin
hair carefully brushed so as
to make the most of what
there was, his tie neatly
knotted, his light suit look
ing as if it had just come from
the tailor’s, his face freshly
shaved and powdered. But the
night had not been kind to
him; his eyes were puffy and
red from lack of sleep, and
there were heavy pouches un
der them; his whole face
seemed to have sagged and
lost its pinkness, and his
hands were not steady as he
pulled out a chair and picked
up his napkin and took the
cup of coffee Evelyn handed
him.
"Good morning, Janice. Miss
Keate. There’s some mail on
the hall table for you, Evelyn.
Thank you. No cream.”
“Where’s Allen?” asked
Evelyn.
“He's coming. Rode over
with me. He stopped to speak
to Strove."
“Strove? So early!"
Hilary nodded rather grim
ly
“He was on the lawn—look
ing below the library win
dows. I don’t know what he
expects to find. Footprints,
perhaps. Here’s Allen, now.
I’ll take another cup of cof
fee, Evelyn.”
Allen showed the effects of
the last 24 hours less than
any of us. But even he looked
taut and weary, as if he hadn’t
slept. He sat in the chair next
to Evelyn and refrained from
looking at Janice after he’d
included us all in a quiet
good-morning.
“What’d Strove have to
say?” asked Hilary.
Allen shrugged.
“Nothing. But what do you
think he had? A magnifying
glass.”
Hilary laughed shortly.
“He won’t get very far with
that. It’s a damn good thing
you and Dave were fishing to
gether all yesterday afternon,
Allen. Can you think of any
one who saw you? It would
help clinch matters. Dan and
I aren’t going to have too
easy a time over this inquest.”
There was a rather tight
look about Allen’s mouth. But
he added sugar to his grape
fruit with a steady hand—
nice hands, he had, lean and
firm with long sensitive fin
gers—and said at once:
“I don’t Just think of any
one. And after all. Hilary, no
one will dare come out and
say things openly.”
“They’ll say plenty after
ward. We’ve got to be mighty
careful about the inquest.”
“You understand. Miss
Keate,” said Evelyn hurried
ly. “We are a bit worried about
the unpleasant comment this
affair may cause.”
If her intention was to warn
Hilary that there was an out
sider present, she succeeded.
He gave me an annoyed look
and said nothing further. The
conversation lapsed until Dr.
Bouligny arrived a few min
utes later. Dr. Bouligny. too,
looked haggard and took the
coffee Evelyn offered him with
eagerness.
“My housekeeper can’t
make coffee,” he complained.
“I wish Emmeline would show
her how. Adela still asleep?”
The inquest was to be that
morning, it developed, and Dr.
Bouligny thought it would be
wise to arrange for the fu
neral the following day.
“Better get it over and for
gotten as soon as possible,”
he said bluntly, and Hilary
agreed.
“Will you get the telegrams
off this morning, Evelyn?”
“How about the boys, Hil
ary?” said Evelyn slowly.
There was an anxious note in
her voice. I felt sure she did
not want the boys to come
home for the funeral.
“I—don’t know,” replied
Hilary. “I—what do you think,
Evelyn?"
“Well—I don’t know that
there’s any need for their
coming. They knew Eayard,
of course. But they are such
children. There’s really no
need for them to come. And
it would interrupt their work
at camp. The swimming com
petition takes place in a few
days.” It was not like Evelyn
to seek excuses.
Allen gave her a quick look
and said:
“I shouldn’t consider send
ing for them. Wire them
what’s happened, for they’ll
see something, likely, in the
papers. At any rate, they'll
have to know sooner or later,
and it won’t do to let them
wonder why they were not
told of it. But tell them not to
come. They won’t want to,
anyway. And by the time they
do come home—” He checked
himself with a glance it me.
Hut Evelyn, always literal,
finished.
“By the time they do come
home, tiie whole thing will
have blown over. I think Al
len is right, Hilary. Do you?”
“Yes,” agreed Hilary in a
relieved way. “That’s exactly
right. I leave it to you, Evelyn.
Now, then, Dan, if you have
finished your coffee—I’ve got
a thousand things to see to
this morning. Suppose you go
to the office with me. I’ll ride
In your car. They’ll need
mine here, likely. Did you say
the inquest is at 10? It’s nine
now. Allen, you bring the
girls, will you? And Dave, of
course. And how about Em
meline and the nurse, Dan?
Had they better come too?”
“Why, yes,” said Dr. Bou
ligny. “You don’t mind, do
you. Miss Keatc?”
“Oh, not at all,” I said
promptly. A little too prompt
ly, perhaps, for I caught Al
len smiling at his plate.
“I will probably have only
a few questions to ask you, if
any,” added Dr. Bouligny.
“Since the cause of death is
so—er—clear, we’ll make the
inquest as brief as possible.
Tell Adela, Evelyn, not to be
alarmed or nervous.”
“Don’t worry about Adela,”
said Hilary. “She’ll be cooler
than any of us. You can al
ways count on Adela.”
“At 10.” repeated Janice
thoughtfully. “That doesn^t
give us much time. I’d better
get the grocery order off. You
and Hilary and Allen will eat
here today, won’t you, Evelyn?
We’ll want to be together in
case—” She did not finish the
sentence and rose.
Hilary turned at the door.
“I may not see you again
before the inquest,” he said.
“But I’ll meet you there at
the courthouse. I’ll go now
with Dan, and we’ll fix up
the—the line of inquiry. Just
answer what you are asked.
Don’t—” he warned, his eyes
on Jance — “volunteer any
thing. Be careful what you
say.”
“If you mean that for me,
Hilary,” said Janice — she
spoke gravely and not at all
sharply as her words might
imply—“you can trust me. I’ll
not let you down. In public,
anyhow.”
►“There, there, now. Janice,”
said Hilary fussily. “I didn’t
mean that, at all. I only
meant not to tell anything
that might—that is, not to
make any indiscreet—not to
- I
“You’re making things
worse, Hilary,” said Allen
coolly. “Do go along. We’ll be
all right. Come on out in the
garden. Janice. It will do you
good. You too, Evelyn,” he
added as a polite after
thought. But Janice would
not. She had, she said, to see
to the grocery order.
“Heaven only knows what’s
in the refrigerator for lunch,”
she said. “Emmeline has her
own notions, and I’ve got to
be sure you’ll have something
to eat.”
“I don’t imagine any of us
will be exactly hungry,” said
Allen, rising.
I rose too. Hilary and the
doctor had, of course, gone;
Allen and Evelyn strolled to
ward the hall, and Janice dis
appeared toward the kitchen.
I think it was the word re
frigerator that, without my
knowing it, impelled me to
follow Janice, for when I
turned to go into the kitchen
I’m sure that only the thought
of arranging a dainty break
fast for Adela was in my
mind.
Back of the dining room was
a generous butler’s pantry,
and beyond this and through
a swinging door a large, clean
kitchen with starched white
curtains and shining floor. It
was a big old room, only fair
ly modern in its appoint
ments, but obviously meant
for cooking, for the prepara
tion of generous meals, and
the storing of bounteous sup
plies. It was as vital and es
sential a part of the life the
house had known as was its
library with its worn books.
Show me a woman’s kitchen,
her books, and her dressing
table, and I can tell you much
of the woman.
But I gave the room only a
brief glance, for Janice was
standing at its far end; her
back was turned toward me,
and she had not heard my en
trance. Emmeline was not to
be seen.
Janice was standing direct
ly before the large refriger
ator. Its heavy door was open.
The girl's head was bent over
a large brown wicker basket,
and I could see that she was
exploring its depths with her
hand. It was, I had no doubt,
the egg basket in which Em
meline had found the re«
volver.
There was a noise at the
side door, and Emmeline en
tered. At the sound Janice's
head went up with a jerk and
turned, and I could see how
paper-white her face was, as
if the frightened racing of
her heart had drawn every
drop of blood from it.
Emmeline stopped still when
she saw Janice.
“Oh, it’s you,” she said
harshly. “What do you want?”
“Emmeline,” said Janice
breathlessly. “Who has been
in the kitchen? Has Jim
Strove been here?”
“What’s that?” said Emme
line. “Talk a little louder.”
Janice gave her a hopeless
look, became conscious again,
it seemed, of the egg basket,
and turned and replced it
carefully in the refrigerator.
“Better put those eggs in a
pan.” she said loudly and
closed the door of the icebox
with a muffled bang and
turned and saw me.
It gave me a sort of pang to
witness the stark terror in
her white face, the sudden
flaring of it in her wide dark
eyes, the way her hand groped
backward as if for support. I
advanced at once.
“I came to get a breakfast
tray for Miss Adela,” I said.
“Perhaps you would better
ask Emmeline for it. She is
not accustomed to my voice,
and I have difficulty making
her understand. I think your
sister will want something hot
to drink as soon as she wakes.”
It gave her time for recov
ery. She needed only a few
seconds. She repeated my re
quest to Emmeline.
“Oh,” said Emmeline. “Then
Miss Adela’s got back.”
CHAPTER VII
She walked stiffly toward
a cupboard and took down a
tray.
"I’ll fix it right away,” she i
continued. “She’ll be tired.”
I found my voice.
"Got back? Why, what do
you mean? Did she go some
place? I thought she was in j
her room. I thought she was
sleeping.”
Apparently Emmeline did
not hear me, though she gave
me a sharp and comprehen- j
sive glance. Janice, too, looked i
surprised and alarmed.
"What do you mean, Em- '
meline?” she said quickly.
"Isn’t Miss Adela in her room?*
She said nothing to me of any
errand. Tell me at once what
you mean. Where did she go?” j
But Emmeline was very |
deaf indeed. She said:
"The grocery list is there on I
the table, if you want to or
der. Miss Janice. I thought the
family would all be together
likely for meals today. What i
would you think of pressed
chicken with cucumber salad
for lunch? And maybe a lem
on cream pie.”
Janice turned rather help
lessly to me.
"Will you see if Adela is in
her room. Miss Keate? I can’t
imagine what Emmeline
means.” She took up the
grocery list, absent-mindedly
scanning it, and I went to
the door. It was entirely by
accident that I caught my
skijt in the swinging door and
was obliged to linger a mo
ment to release it. And I
heard Janice say clearly:
“Tell me at once where Miss
Adela went.”
And Emmeline replied
hoarsely:
"Cemetery. What about the
lemon cream pie?”
“What do you—no, not pie.
Hilary can’t eat it. His blood
pressure, you know.”
(TO BE CONTINUED)
Man Became Wealthy
After He Reached 65
Noblesville. Ind. — (UP) — A
O. Sample, 72, who died at his
home near here recently, became
wealthy after he was 65 years old.
Four years ago he was living on
38 acres of land, four miles south
of here. He sold It to Arthur
Court, Indianapolis, for $20,000.
Court had won $f0,000 on an Eng
lish horse race a few weeks be
fore.
Sample bought a modest home
and Invest** most of the remain
der of hts money in the artificial
ice business in Texas, with a son
as partner.
It is said that the Sample in
terests now control tec artificial
I ice business in the Lone Star
state.
Egypt Will Assume
Nation’s Farm Mortgages
Washington — (UP) — The
Egyptian government will assume
approximately two-thirds of the
nation's farm mortgages to avoid
I foreclosures, the Commerce Da
partment has been informed in
cables from Cairo.
The government’s plan includes
close co-operation from the inter
ested mortgage banks. Banks are
reported to have given their pro
visional agreement to the mort
gage relief program which would
extend the mortgage period from
10 to 30 years, including arrears
with capital sums owed.
The government will take two
th'rds of the arrears, paying the
banks w'ith treasury notes.
Debtors will repay the banks
who in turn will fefund the gov
eminent with two-thirds of each
I annual installment until the gov.
eminent has recovered its ad
i vances.
Q. What gift did the United
States present to the French re
rsiblic recently? K. J.
A. It was “France Defiant.” a co
lossal figure by Frederick MacMon
nies, for which thousands of Amer
ica! school children contributed
their pennies. It was accepted by
Premier Herriot at the dedication
on the Marne battlefield neat
, Meaux.
Corner Stone of
Nation in Home
Most thoughtful persons look with
regret upon the passing of the old
fashioned home, with its community
of interests, its interlocking family
life. Modern life is centrifugal. Par
ents and children fly off at the tan
gent of individual interests, and the
home lias become little more than a
lodging house. Economic conditions,
social pressure, the demands of pres
ent-day education, the lure of com
mercialized amusement, the growing
individualism of our social philos
ophy, have ull combined to make the
family life of the past impossible.
So far have we gone that some of
our social philosophers would have
us look forward to ttie complete dis
appearance of home life, and the
herding of families in vast caravan
saries, beehives of swarming parents
and children, eating at a common
restaurant, sharing a common parlor,
common playground and recreation
rooms, and living a life as private
and cultural as that of a school of
sardines.
For our own part, says the Minne
apolis Journal, we suspect that age
old instincts will not be denied, and
that tlie pendulum is far more likely
to swing back to a fuller recognition
of common interests and mutual pur
poses in the family life. After all,
there arc no folks like our own folks.
No doubt, many of tlie economic
'unctions of the old-fashioned home
tave been permanently superseded.
The' baking and brewing, the weaving
and sewing, the washing and much
of the cooking can be better done
outside. The formal processes of ed
ucation are likewise better in the
bauds of trained experts. But there
is one thing which a true home can
furnish, and there is no substitute.
That I- a background, moral, social,
cultural. *»
Every individual needs the con
sciousness of moral support with
which to face the world. He must
needs have his roots deep in some
earth. The man who goes to his office,
t he child who goes to school, the wom
an w ho works for her club, will be the
more truly individual for the knowl
edge of a common sympathy and un
derstanding in the home from which
they set out.
Above all, It is the home that can
furnish an all enveloping atmosphere
of comfort and beauty, of good books,
good pictures, tasteful furnishings,
such as no education can afford.
Happy the child whose earliest years
are spent in such surroundings,
whose taste is formed and whose
mental life is awakened in such fash
ion.
It may be that the emancipated
woman, wben she lias grown weary
of her new freedom, will come once
more to realize that there is no high
er calling, no finer art, no worthier
ambition than to be the maker and
inspirer of such a home. It need by
no means absorb all her energies, or
limit In any way her self-expression.
BUILD UP THE BLOOD
WHEN run
down, anaemic
and in need of a
blood tonic — or if i
you’re troubled with
indigestion, weak
stomach, weight be
low normal and you ,
feel tired-out and
weak, follow the ad
vice oi Mrs. Marie uotosKi or low
Jefferson St., Waterloo, Iowa, who says: “I
was in a general rundown and weakened state
of health brought on thru a complication of
ailmeuts. I suffered from weak stomach and
indigestion, my blood was thin and in an
impoverished condition, and I was weak and
miserable. But just a few bottles of Dr.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery relieved
me of these ills and restored my health.”
Writs to Dr. Pime'i Clinic, Buffalo,
N. Y., for frro medical advice.
Salt Rheum Formed
Water Blisters
on Baby
Healed by Cuticura
“My sixteen months old baby was
bothered with salt rheum. It started
with a rash and then formed a water
blister, and the more he scratched
the more it itched until the blister
was broken. Then it would break
out in another place. As soon as I put
his night clothes on he kept up a
steady whine and could not sleep. It
affected his whole body and he was
a sight.
“My druggist told me about Cuti
cura Soap and Ointment. I purchased
some and after using them a month
or two my baby was healed.” (Signed)
Mrs. Doris Hardy, 13 High St., Bos
cawen, N. H., August 11, 1932.
Cuticura Soap 25c. Ointment 25c
and 50c. Talcum 25c. Sold every
where. One sample each free. Ad*
| dress: “Cuticura Laboratories, Dept.
R. Malden, Mass.”—Adv.
iMjknnHgH