V forget my WrtgeyF
Slip a package In
your pocket when
yon QO home to*
flight.
Give the young slew
this wholesome long*
lasting sweet-for
pleasure ffdbjjuflf,
'f
ffet it yaaredf after
smoking or when
work drag*. Its* .
greet little fmkeaer/
. Nothing to Do
The pupils of the fourth grade in
the Sclplo schools were preparing an
essay on the subject of what their
three wishes would be if they were to
have their wishes granted.
Miss Green, the teacher of the class,
was somewhat chagrined when the fol
lowing wish was read by one of the
class while four visitors were pres
ent :
“I wish I had lots of money so that
I could go to college and i>e a teacher
*nd wouldn’t have to work.”—Indian
apolis News.
AbthasHne
Alabastine is suitable for all
* interior surfaces — plaster,
wall board, brick, cement
or canvas. It’s applied with
an ordinary wall brush. It's
a powder in white and
tints, ready for use by mix
ing with cold or warm i
water. Full directions on
every package. Properly
applied, it won’t rub o£F.
Ask your dealer for color
card today or write Miss
Ruby Brandon, the Ala
bastine Company, Grand
Rapids, Mich. Don’t take
something ’’just as good.**.
American Wood Pulp
American forests supply only 49 pey
cent of the wood pulp used in paper
making and it would take 870,000
cords of spruce and 180,000 cords of
aspen annually to offset the importa
tions.—Science Service.
Last, but Not Least
Doctor Eliot compiled his list of the
ten greatest educators and neglected
to Include experience.—Detroit News.
Miitvy p man has learned how to con
dense a peck of trouble into a quart
rap.
r l
For
Hard Workers
and
Hard Walkers
Everywhere—
•USKIDE
SOLES
The Wonder Soto for Wear—
Wmmrm twlom mm §mne mm bmmt Immtbmmf
—and for a Better Brno!.
4 “M." arama-arer im>
PARKER'S
HAIR BALSAM
taMH Dmudraff Stop* Hair raBiip
Reetorea Ceiar and
Baaotp toGraj and Faded Hair
HINDERCORNS Ren»rM o>n». <w
nuM, etc.. Mom all Bala, ensures oomfort to tbs
feet, seakee walking easy. lie by mall or ■« Dnm*
■lets. Minsk Chemical Works, Patehofhh. V Y
lb of ch ristma s'} g—_r-=-^-? PH
i\ kUPVM-v- ^ GOODS MARKED DOWN^ KITCHEN ~S'rPX/E»t f§£?
I ) cTi^'X --r-^;--- mi-—&StLVE3A*AREj_M3i
IIAIPfaoim SOU ALU PROOF BE ^-i»Elu= f NO- NO- » Y
IvAREARJN BABX CAPIASES MK=7yoo saY-HERM SAY FOR EvERm"
- «. ,4 ONE OF TH' PLEASURE >L
TOWNS BEST THB^ESA /t5
' WHITTLING .
PERFORMERS
_inPTQ/.
S\ SUPPOSE You RE
<50in' to start
- RIGHT IN ANP
„ LITTER UP *TH
l VVHOLE TCW/i «
■v
l WAS JUST mt
TV)NiNC Up
MY HEW
JACK KNIFE/
lyA BIT*.:
HERM Doolittle HAD oust settled down
To DO His FIRST OUTDOOR. WHlTTU/S^ SINCE '
LAST FALL- WHEN AUNT SARAH PEABODY
HAPPENED ALC*N<3 . V
Colds Really Enjoyable Diversion If
One Can Escape Need for a Doctor
From the London Times
At this moment nearly everybody has got a cold. Yet it may
be doubted whether the sum total of human happiness is sensibly
the smaller on that account. It w.ould almost certainly be the
greater were it not for the annoyance caused by other people hav
ing colds as well as ourselves. A good, honest, straightforward
cold in the head comes as near as may be to solving the problem
of eating our cake and having it. We cannot work, since offices
are traditionally draughty, but we can play, because a day’s golf
in the fresh air would be the very thing. We cannot see tiresome
callers; they would not like to see such lepers as we are, for the
rule is, as a small girl explained, that “when people have colds you
only kiss their hands.” If agreeable callers like to take the risk
of seeing us, that is another matter. Again, when the full tide, of
a cold is surging, it is well known that not the nastiest medicine
avails; there is even something impious in interfering with the
course of nature. At the same time much can be done in strength
ening the constitution to resist a cold, and, as Mr. Sawyer re
marked, if ever hot punch did fail in such cases it was owing to
the vulgar error of not taking enough. Nor have we even to make
our consciences elastic in order to believe these surprising facts.
They are seriously urged upon us by those who minister to us so
angelically.
There is something about a cold which induces in us a pleasant
childishness. The schoolboy who “stays out” at once adopts a
different attire; he puts on a tall collar and a variegated tie, not
because stick-ups are more comfortable than turn-downs—for they
demonstrably are not—but because they mark him out as a crea
ture apart. The grown-up adopts a cqurse which, though super
ficially the exact converse, is really identical, since it springs from
the same motive. Ho dallies with the glorious notion of no collar
at all. Domestic limelight is better than none at all. And, if a
cold is bad enough, there is the same childish flavor in the joys of
convalescence. We are endued with a new keenness and cleanness
of sensation, a beautifully innocent greediness. Chicken suddenly
appears to be, as it was years ago, in a totally different realm of
enjoyment from mutton. It becomes, in short, a treat, and a treat
can only be something which we are allowed by others, not that in
which we can indulge ourselves. There is also the thrill of pro
motion, from whiting to chicken, from bed before dinner to bed
afterwards. No early sensation is so hard to recapture as this
pride in sitting up late; only the convalescent can do it. But, un
fortunately, when a cold has been as bad as all that, it has defeated
its own end. For those who are contemplating one, it qjay be laid I
down that a cold which calls for the doctor is not worth having.
Tax Or. Tyranny.
Senator Cousens, of Michigan,
made a statement to the Senate of
his experiences with the Income tax
and the internal revenue depart
ment He and other minority stock
holders in the Ford company wanted
to aell their- holdings ,to Ford. They
wanted to know in "advance what
the income tax on the traneferred
shares would be. Commissioner
Roper, then of the internal revenue
department, made an advance ap
praisal of the value of the stock as
of March, 1913. The value was
found to be $8,900 a share. It
was sold to Ford at $12,600 a share.
Couzens and the others paid Income
tax on the Increase from the ap
praised value to the cash value.
Now the oase has been reopened.
It Is within a few days of the limi
tation under statute. Th'vt period
la five years. When It Is closed the
government is stopped, but for five
years It has the power to reopen
Income tax questions, present new
demands, etc. In this case the in
ternal revenue bureau now holds
that the value of the Ford stock In
March, 1913, was only $2,600, not
$3,900 a dhare, and that the tax
should have been on tho difference
between $2,600 and the sale price of
$12,600. The tax. It Is held, should
have been based on $91,000,000 ln
Not Needed.
From the Kansas City Journal.
"Won’t you have a medicine drop
per?”
“Not with this prescription,” said
the man, hugging It to bis chest,
bee) found since ISM.
An up-to-date way of Informing the
teacher of an enforced absence from a
slags session at White Plains, N. T.,
high school was used by William Mey
ers. He radioed that he would be ab
sent. He went to the home of a neigh
bor and used his sending station, *2
BQB, to tell the head of the setenoe
department that he could not attend
school. Tho messago was received oa
the sabae? pending and reoVivla* sta
| Uoa.
stead of 139,420.000.
We do not know the merits of
this oase or whethar It la correctly
stated by Senator Cousena or Com
missioner Blair of tha bureau, but
It Is apparent that under the pres- *
sat operation of the Income tax a
taxpayer can never be certain wbat
his obligations to the government
are far a period of five yeare.
Can’t Aot Natural.
From the New Orleans Item,
It Is hard to act natural when ona
has a guilty consclsnce. No matter
whether our guilt Is heavy or light,
consciousness of it Is enough to dis
turb our normal action.
A negro driving along St. Charles
avenue. A police patrol wagon,
manned by men In uniform, ap
proached him from behind. The
patrol wagon cftiauffeur rang the bell
as a signal for the negro to let them
pass. The negro didn't know that. He
Interpreted the signal as a command
to halt. He took one look, stopped
his car, jumped out and ran. The
police, their curiosity aroused,
searched the abandoned car and
found 40 caeea of champaign.
Nothing but a guilty conscience. If
the driver had simply turned in to let
the patrol wagon pass he would have
been safe. They would not have given
him a second thought. But his
A niece of ground 60 feet wide and 126
feet deep on Fifth avenue has just been
rented for 63 years. It will pay ♦?,
066,000 to the landlord, his heirs or as
i signs. Single taxers say that although
this “rental value" was* created by the
eommuntty, the City of New York
w|U realise only a comparatively small
amount by the transaction. The prop
erty. formerly the William Rockefeller
residence at the northaast corner of
Fifth avenue and Fifty-fourth street
and 1 Bast Fifty-fourth street, adjoin
ing. has been purchased by Charles A.
Oould for Harry Maadel for nearly
32,000.000. With taxes and carrying
charges the rental to be paid during
the term will exceed 319.000.0W
An Oklahoma well produces pusa as
phalt.
Pungent Paragraphs
Russia, It Is reported. Is about to
begin the coining of gold. The print
ing presses must be about worn out
—Springfield Republican.
By laughing at two bandits a
plucky Boston girt saved a $1,800
payroll. When a revolver tickles
your ribs It's quite proper to laugh.
—San Antonio Express. t
Before the doctor can put you on a
diet he must know what you like best
—Newark Star Eagle.
There is much talk of the go
getter, but Is he of any more im
portance than the come-backer?—•
Toledo Blade.
Jealousy Is always pictured as a'
green-eyed monster but It makes us
see red.—Columbia Missourian.
That Jockey who has turned minis
ter ought to give the devil a fast
run for hjs money.—Pittsburg Chron
icle and Telegraph.
Travel writer expresses surprise at
finding two telephone exchanges in
Borneo. Accounting, no doubt, foi
the head hunters and the Wild Men.—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
It's hard to say whether Gutzon
Borglum Is the man who made Stons
Mountain famous, or vice versa.—
Santa Rosa Preqs Democrat.
The world may be round now, but
It will be flat when the meek Inherit
It.—Greenville Piedmont.
It's a funny world In which
people are proud of ancestors and
hate to take care of the folks.—
Nashville Tennessean.
knowledge of hts cargo kept him from
•otlng natural. It made him run.
Many, who are not necessarily
bootleggers, will understand the
colored man’s actions and reactions.
Many a husband has gotten Into
trouble by making too many explana
tions when none were demanded or
needed. It Is the same story. Wi
Just can't act natural with a guilty
conscience, especially If we ara
amateurs. ,
e 1" ‘ * *
Divining Rod Fail*.
From the Docket.
George Antoine approached Ulysse
Dulhon and Prosper Duhon, claiming
that he could procure a divining rod
of such magical qualities that hidden
treasure within th# sarth could bs
located by It. Hs agreed to produce
the wand within SO days. Ulysse be
lleved In him to the extent of $606
, and Prosper to the extent of tSOO. It
la nesdlsaa to aay that Antolna did
not deliver. He was prosecuted, how
ever, under an Indictment charging
the obtaining of money by falae pre
tensea Motion# to quash the indict-,
ment were sustained, and the
Supreme Court of Louisiana affirm
ed lower court's action holding that
the offense could not technically b«
brought within the falae pretense
statue, for the reason that the rep
resentations related to future acts
Instead of past events or present
facts. Mr. Justice Brunot wrote the
opinion of the court, whlcfh is re
ported in 68 Southern Reporter, 861,
as State vs. Antoine.
HILL OF VISION
By James Stephens.
"Everything that I can spy
Through the circle of my eye.
Everything that I can see
Has been woven out of me.
I have sown the stars; I throw
Clouds of morn and noon and eve
In the deeps and steeps of blue;
And each thing that I perceive.
Sun and sea and mountain high,
Are made and moulded by my eye:
Closing It, I do but find
Darkness, and a J'ttla wind,"
A Bargain In Tralna.
From the Atchison Globe.
Jake Lanski walked up te the ticket
window.
"What time does the next train
leave for Kansaa City?” he aeked.
"At 11:86," eald the ticket seller.
"Make It 11:46 and I'll take It," aald
Jake. _ _
While throwing hay to his eatUe.
Willietn /Csough, or Arlington, Vt.,
sneexed, and In the act lost his false
teeth down the chute to the manger.
An all night search for the loet article
was fruitless and the farmer has reach
ed the conclusion that one of hla crarc
has an extra as# ef teeth. I
Hawaiian Pineapples
Records of production in both qual
ity and, quantity were established by
the pineapple industry of Hawaii dur
ing 1024, according to the annual re
port of tlie association of Hawaiian
pineapple canners, which showed a
total production of 6,825,904 cases.
Tills yield exceeded by 868,022 cases
the output of 1020, the previous high
record year, and was 920,157 cases
more than the 1923 production.
Hamilton's Claim to Fame
The title “Father of His Country"
is generally reserved for George Wash
ington. Alexander Hamilton, how
ever, undoubtedly rendered enormous
economic nnd financial assistance to
the country at the time. During his
term of office as first secretary of the
treasury Ids services, according to
some authorities, were scarcely less
valuable than those of Washington
himself.
Reasonable Guess
“Hobbs Hooble, from down there in
Booger Holler, has been away for
quite a spell,” said Gap Johnson of
Rumpus Ridge. “I reckon he was
dodging the revenuers, or something
that-a-vvay."
“Did lie tell you soj" inquired Galie
GIggery.
“No; but when I sorter naked him if
he hadn't been lie said it wasn’t none
of my d—n business.’’—Kansas City
Star.
Cuticura Comforts Baby’s Skin
When red, rougli and Itching, by hot
baths of Cuticura Soap and touches of
Cuticura Ointment. Also make use
now nnd then of that exquisitely scent
ed dusting powder, Cuticura Talcum,
one of the indispensable Cuticura
Toilet Trio.—Advertisement.
Divorces Discouraged
Tlie parliament of the Irish Free
State has passed an order making It
Illegal for divorced persons to re
marry witlila tlie borders of tlie state.
Common to the World
“Look here, Griggs, why did you tell
Wilkins I was a fool?”
“Why, it’s not a secret, is it?”
What She Had Heard
Teacher—Is the earth round or
square, Mary?
Mary—Neither. It’s crooked.
Marital Music
Dibble—What was the greatest war
song every written?
Dabble—Here comes the bride I
Guilt and Chance
It Is the inevitable end of guilt that
it places Its own punishment on u
chance which Is sure to occur.—I* E.
Landon.
Love and Friendship
Love can live upon Itself alone, but
friendship must feed on worthiness.
Therefore, the way to secure a friend
Is to be one.—C. G. Goss.
A Canadian Pacific liner is equipped
with an "orchestra repeater,” which
enables travelers to hear music in ell
parts of the ship.
The obese man, who is anxious to
lose u little flesh, should try a safety
razor.
If certain men want to do the heroic
work of the world, one should at least
applaud.
When a woman begins to notice
every act of a man she has begun
either to love or hate him.
Science tells us where we’re going
about as definitely as it telli; us whence
we came.
An automobile Isn’t saving as much
money as It did. Shoes only cost hnlf
as much.
The man who is fearless can go
through twice tfs much as a coward.
The water shark bites a man's leg
off, but the land shark merely pulls it.
Faith lights us through the dark to
victory.—Sir \V. Davenant.
Heroic measures are several sizes
too large for the average man.
Good friends never ask favors.
I
Say “Bayer” - Insist!
For Colds Headache
Pain Lumbago
Neuralgia Rheumatism
Ovyiv^ Accept °nly *
Bayer package
which contains proven directions
Handy "Bayer” boxes of 12 tablets
Also bottles of 24 and 100—Druggist*
Aspirin Is the trsde nurk of Bayer Mann
factor* of MouoaoetlcactdcKter of SuUcyllcacId
Goldfish Balk Robbers
Mrs. Mary Gagllna, 1216 Olnrk
street, Pittsburgh, used her bowl of
goldfish to foil a robbery, and did it
successfully. Awakened by noises be
low during the night, she peered out
of an upper window und saw two men.
trying to force their entrance through
the kitchen door. The large bowl of
goldfish standing nearby offered Itself,
and she dropped the bowl fish and all,
on the heads of the prowlers wilh the
result that they fled hurriedly.
Another Nurse
Praises Tanlac
"As a nurse / have seen many mar
velous results from Tanlac. For anae
mia, nervousness, stomach trouble
and building up the system after
operations 1 consider Tanlac great/'*
Mrs. K. M. Lowe, Walnut Park, CaL
^JTJRSE Lowe’s statement merely back*
up what over one hundred thousand
grateful Tanlac users have said about this
great natural tonic and builder. Our file*
are packed with such testimony.
If your system is run down, if you can'*
seem to eat or sleep, have lost weight or
suffer from trying pain, why not let Tanlac
start to bring you back to vigorous
strength and health.
No long, wretched wait to get results*
Tanlac starts right in to build you up..
11 cleans the blood, revitalizes digestive
organs, fixes up the liver and makes /«*
fed like a new person.
For Constipation j
Take Tanlac Vegetable Pilb
SIOUX CITY PTG. CO., NO. 15-1925.
Museum’s Many Visitors
The British museum lust yelr whs
visited by 1,095,555 individuals, tbs
largest number since 1851, tbs ytUr
of the great exhibition.
Good Arrangement
"How do I open this tin?”
"You will And full Instructions In*
side, madam!”—Pele Mele, Paris.
The smaller a man's mind the less
he seems to know it.
/ MOTHER:- Fletcher'#
i- Castoria is especially pre*
/ pared to relieve * Infants in
arms and Children all ages of
Constipation, Flatulency, Wind
Colic and Diarrhea; allaying
Feverishness arising therefrom, and, by regulating the Stomach
and Bowels, aids the ajsimilation of Food; giving natural sleep.
(To avoid imitations, always look for the signature of
Absolutely Harmless -No Opiates. Physicians everywhere recommend ii
