V forget my WrtgeyF Slip a package In your pocket when yon QO home to* flight. Give the young slew this wholesome long* lasting sweet-for pleasure ffdbjjuflf, 'f ffet it yaaredf after smoking or when work drag*. Its* . greet little fmkeaer/ . Nothing to Do The pupils of the fourth grade in the Sclplo schools were preparing an essay on the subject of what their three wishes would be if they were to have their wishes granted. Miss Green, the teacher of the class, was somewhat chagrined when the fol lowing wish was read by one of the class while four visitors were pres ent : “I wish I had lots of money so that I could go to college and i>e a teacher *nd wouldn’t have to work.”—Indian apolis News. AbthasHne Alabastine is suitable for all * interior surfaces — plaster, wall board, brick, cement or canvas. It’s applied with an ordinary wall brush. It's a powder in white and tints, ready for use by mix ing with cold or warm i water. Full directions on every package. Properly applied, it won’t rub o£F. Ask your dealer for color card today or write Miss Ruby Brandon, the Ala bastine Company, Grand Rapids, Mich. Don’t take something ’’just as good.**. American Wood Pulp American forests supply only 49 pey cent of the wood pulp used in paper making and it would take 870,000 cords of spruce and 180,000 cords of aspen annually to offset the importa tions.—Science Service. Last, but Not Least Doctor Eliot compiled his list of the ten greatest educators and neglected to Include experience.—Detroit News. Miitvy p man has learned how to con dense a peck of trouble into a quart rap. r l For Hard Workers and Hard Walkers Everywhere— •USKIDE SOLES The Wonder Soto for Wear— Wmmrm twlom mm §mne mm bmmt Immtbmmf —and for a Better Brno!. 4 “M." arama-arer im> PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM taMH Dmudraff Stop* Hair raBiip Reetorea Ceiar and Baaotp toGraj and Faded Hair HINDERCORNS Ren»rM o>n». L TOWNS BEST THB^ESA /t5 ' WHITTLING . PERFORMERS _inPTQ/. S\ SUPPOSE You RE <50in' to start - RIGHT IN ANP „ LITTER UP *TH l VVHOLE TCW/i « ■v l WAS JUST mt TV)NiNC Up MY HEW JACK KNIFE/ lyA BIT*.: HERM Doolittle HAD oust settled down To DO His FIRST OUTDOOR. WHlTTU/S^ SINCE ' LAST FALL- WHEN AUNT SARAH PEABODY HAPPENED ALC*N<3 . V Colds Really Enjoyable Diversion If One Can Escape Need for a Doctor From the London Times At this moment nearly everybody has got a cold. Yet it may be doubted whether the sum total of human happiness is sensibly the smaller on that account. It w.ould almost certainly be the greater were it not for the annoyance caused by other people hav ing colds as well as ourselves. A good, honest, straightforward cold in the head comes as near as may be to solving the problem of eating our cake and having it. We cannot work, since offices are traditionally draughty, but we can play, because a day’s golf in the fresh air would be the very thing. We cannot see tiresome callers; they would not like to see such lepers as we are, for the rule is, as a small girl explained, that “when people have colds you only kiss their hands.” If agreeable callers like to take the risk of seeing us, that is another matter. Again, when the full tide, of a cold is surging, it is well known that not the nastiest medicine avails; there is even something impious in interfering with the course of nature. At the same time much can be done in strength ening the constitution to resist a cold, and, as Mr. Sawyer re marked, if ever hot punch did fail in such cases it was owing to the vulgar error of not taking enough. Nor have we even to make our consciences elastic in order to believe these surprising facts. They are seriously urged upon us by those who minister to us so angelically. There is something about a cold which induces in us a pleasant childishness. The schoolboy who “stays out” at once adopts a different attire; he puts on a tall collar and a variegated tie, not because stick-ups are more comfortable than turn-downs—for they demonstrably are not—but because they mark him out as a crea ture apart. The grown-up adopts a cqurse which, though super ficially the exact converse, is really identical, since it springs from the same motive. Ho dallies with the glorious notion of no collar at all. Domestic limelight is better than none at all. And, if a cold is bad enough, there is the same childish flavor in the joys of convalescence. We are endued with a new keenness and cleanness of sensation, a beautifully innocent greediness. Chicken suddenly appears to be, as it was years ago, in a totally different realm of enjoyment from mutton. It becomes, in short, a treat, and a treat can only be something which we are allowed by others, not that in which we can indulge ourselves. There is also the thrill of pro motion, from whiting to chicken, from bed before dinner to bed afterwards. No early sensation is so hard to recapture as this pride in sitting up late; only the convalescent can do it. But, un fortunately, when a cold has been as bad as all that, it has defeated its own end. For those who are contemplating one, it qjay be laid I down that a cold which calls for the doctor is not worth having. Tax Or. Tyranny. Senator Cousens, of Michigan, made a statement to the Senate of his experiences with the Income tax and the internal revenue depart ment He and other minority stock holders in the Ford company wanted to aell their- holdings ,to Ford. They wanted to know in "advance what the income tax on the traneferred shares would be. Commissioner Roper, then of the internal revenue department, made an advance ap praisal of the value of the stock as of March, 1913. The value was found to be $8,900 a share. It was sold to Ford at $12,600 a share. Couzens and the others paid Income tax on the Increase from the ap praised value to the cash value. Now the oase has been reopened. It Is within a few days of the limi tation under statute. Th'vt period la five years. When It Is closed the government is stopped, but for five years It has the power to reopen Income tax questions, present new demands, etc. In this case the in ternal revenue bureau now holds that the value of the Ford stock In March, 1913, was only $2,600, not $3,900 a dhare, and that the tax should have been on tho difference between $2,600 and the sale price of $12,600. The tax. It Is held, should have been based on $91,000,000 ln Not Needed. From the Kansas City Journal. "Won’t you have a medicine drop per?” “Not with this prescription,” said the man, hugging It to bis chest, bee) found since ISM. An up-to-date way of Informing the teacher of an enforced absence from a slags session at White Plains, N. T., high school was used by William Mey ers. He radioed that he would be ab sent. He went to the home of a neigh bor and used his sending station, *2 BQB, to tell the head of the setenoe department that he could not attend school. Tho messago was received oa the sabae? pending and reoVivla* sta | Uoa. stead of 139,420.000. We do not know the merits of this oase or whethar It la correctly stated by Senator Cousena or Com missioner Blair of tha bureau, but It Is apparent that under the pres- * sat operation of the Income tax a taxpayer can never be certain wbat his obligations to the government are far a period of five yeare. Can’t Aot Natural. From the New Orleans Item, It Is hard to act natural when ona has a guilty consclsnce. No matter whether our guilt Is heavy or light, consciousness of it Is enough to dis turb our normal action. A negro driving along St. Charles avenue. A police patrol wagon, manned by men In uniform, ap proached him from behind. The patrol wagon cftiauffeur rang the bell as a signal for the negro to let them pass. The negro didn't know that. He Interpreted the signal as a command to halt. He took one look, stopped his car, jumped out and ran. The police, their curiosity aroused, searched the abandoned car and found 40 caeea of champaign. Nothing but a guilty conscience. If the driver had simply turned in to let the patrol wagon pass he would have been safe. They would not have given him a second thought. But his A niece of ground 60 feet wide and 126 feet deep on Fifth avenue has just been rented for 63 years. It will pay ♦?, 066,000 to the landlord, his heirs or as i signs. Single taxers say that although this “rental value" was* created by the eommuntty, the City of New York w|U realise only a comparatively small amount by the transaction. The prop erty. formerly the William Rockefeller residence at the northaast corner of Fifth avenue and Fifty-fourth street and 1 Bast Fifty-fourth street, adjoin ing. has been purchased by Charles A. Oould for Harry Maadel for nearly 32,000.000. With taxes and carrying charges the rental to be paid during the term will exceed 319.000.0W An Oklahoma well produces pusa as phalt. Pungent Paragraphs Russia, It Is reported. Is about to begin the coining of gold. The print ing presses must be about worn out —Springfield Republican. By laughing at two bandits a plucky Boston girt saved a $1,800 payroll. When a revolver tickles your ribs It's quite proper to laugh. —San Antonio Express. t Before the doctor can put you on a diet he must know what you like best —Newark Star Eagle. There is much talk of the go getter, but Is he of any more im portance than the come-backer?—• Toledo Blade. Jealousy Is always pictured as a' green-eyed monster but It makes us see red.—Columbia Missourian. That Jockey who has turned minis ter ought to give the devil a fast run for hjs money.—Pittsburg Chron icle and Telegraph. Travel writer expresses surprise at finding two telephone exchanges in Borneo. Accounting, no doubt, foi the head hunters and the Wild Men.— Cleveland Plain Dealer. It's hard to say whether Gutzon Borglum Is the man who made Stons Mountain famous, or vice versa.— Santa Rosa Preqs Democrat. The world may be round now, but It will be flat when the meek Inherit It.—Greenville Piedmont. It's a funny world In which people are proud of ancestors and hate to take care of the folks.— Nashville Tennessean. knowledge of hts cargo kept him from •otlng natural. It made him run. Many, who are not necessarily bootleggers, will understand the colored man’s actions and reactions. Many a husband has gotten Into trouble by making too many explana tions when none were demanded or needed. It Is the same story. Wi Just can't act natural with a guilty conscience, especially If we ara amateurs. , e 1" ‘ * * Divining Rod Fail*. From the Docket. George Antoine approached Ulysse Dulhon and Prosper Duhon, claiming that he could procure a divining rod of such magical qualities that hidden treasure within th# sarth could bs located by It. Hs agreed to produce the wand within SO days. Ulysse be lleved In him to the extent of $606 , and Prosper to the extent of tSOO. It la nesdlsaa to aay that Antolna did not deliver. He was prosecuted, how ever, under an Indictment charging the obtaining of money by falae pre tensea Motion# to quash the indict-, ment were sustained, and the Supreme Court of Louisiana affirm ed lower court's action holding that the offense could not technically b« brought within the falae pretense statue, for the reason that the rep resentations related to future acts Instead of past events or present facts. Mr. Justice Brunot wrote the opinion of the court, whlcfh is re ported in 68 Southern Reporter, 861, as State vs. Antoine. HILL OF VISION By James Stephens. "Everything that I can spy Through the circle of my eye. Everything that I can see Has been woven out of me. I have sown the stars; I throw Clouds of morn and noon and eve In the deeps and steeps of blue; And each thing that I perceive. Sun and sea and mountain high, Are made and moulded by my eye: Closing It, I do but find Darkness, and a J'ttla wind," A Bargain In Tralna. From the Atchison Globe. Jake Lanski walked up te the ticket window. "What time does the next train leave for Kansaa City?” he aeked. "At 11:86," eald the ticket seller. "Make It 11:46 and I'll take It," aald Jake. _ _ While throwing hay to his eatUe. Willietn /Csough, or Arlington, Vt., sneexed, and In the act lost his false teeth down the chute to the manger. An all night search for the loet article was fruitless and the farmer has reach ed the conclusion that one of hla crarc has an extra as# ef teeth. I Hawaiian Pineapples Records of production in both qual ity and, quantity were established by the pineapple industry of Hawaii dur ing 1024, according to the annual re port of tlie association of Hawaiian pineapple canners, which showed a total production of 6,825,904 cases. Tills yield exceeded by 868,022 cases the output of 1020, the previous high record year, and was 920,157 cases more than the 1923 production. Hamilton's Claim to Fame The title “Father of His Country" is generally reserved for George Wash ington. Alexander Hamilton, how ever, undoubtedly rendered enormous economic nnd financial assistance to the country at the time. During his term of office as first secretary of the treasury Ids services, according to some authorities, were scarcely less valuable than those of Washington himself. Reasonable Guess “Hobbs Hooble, from down there in Booger Holler, has been away for quite a spell,” said Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge. “I reckon he was dodging the revenuers, or something that-a-vvay." “Did lie tell you soj" inquired Galie GIggery. “No; but when I sorter naked him if he hadn't been lie said it wasn’t none of my d—n business.’’—Kansas City Star. Cuticura Comforts Baby’s Skin When red, rougli and Itching, by hot baths of Cuticura Soap and touches of Cuticura Ointment. Also make use now nnd then of that exquisitely scent ed dusting powder, Cuticura Talcum, one of the indispensable Cuticura Toilet Trio.—Advertisement. Divorces Discouraged Tlie parliament of the Irish Free State has passed an order making It Illegal for divorced persons to re marry witlila tlie borders of tlie state. Common to the World “Look here, Griggs, why did you tell Wilkins I was a fool?” “Why, it’s not a secret, is it?” What She Had Heard Teacher—Is the earth round or square, Mary? Mary—Neither. It’s crooked. Marital Music Dibble—What was the greatest war song every written? Dabble—Here comes the bride I Guilt and Chance It Is the inevitable end of guilt that it places Its own punishment on u chance which Is sure to occur.—I* E. Landon. Love and Friendship Love can live upon Itself alone, but friendship must feed on worthiness. Therefore, the way to secure a friend Is to be one.—C. G. Goss. A Canadian Pacific liner is equipped with an "orchestra repeater,” which enables travelers to hear music in ell parts of the ship. The obese man, who is anxious to lose u little flesh, should try a safety razor. If certain men want to do the heroic work of the world, one should at least applaud. When a woman begins to notice every act of a man she has begun either to love or hate him. Science tells us where we’re going about as definitely as it telli; us whence we came. An automobile Isn’t saving as much money as It did. Shoes only cost hnlf as much. The man who is fearless can go through twice tfs much as a coward. The water shark bites a man's leg off, but the land shark merely pulls it. Faith lights us through the dark to victory.—Sir \V. Davenant. Heroic measures are several sizes too large for the average man. Good friends never ask favors. I Say “Bayer” - Insist! For Colds Headache Pain Lumbago Neuralgia Rheumatism Ovyiv^ Accept °nly * Bayer package which contains proven directions Handy "Bayer” boxes of 12 tablets Also bottles of 24 and 100—Druggist* Aspirin Is the trsde nurk of Bayer Mann factor* of MouoaoetlcactdcKter of SuUcyllcacId Goldfish Balk Robbers Mrs. Mary Gagllna, 1216 Olnrk street, Pittsburgh, used her bowl of goldfish to foil a robbery, and did it successfully. Awakened by noises be low during the night, she peered out of an upper window und saw two men. trying to force their entrance through the kitchen door. The large bowl of goldfish standing nearby offered Itself, and she dropped the bowl fish and all, on the heads of the prowlers wilh the result that they fled hurriedly. Another Nurse Praises Tanlac "As a nurse / have seen many mar velous results from Tanlac. For anae mia, nervousness, stomach trouble and building up the system after operations 1 consider Tanlac great/'* Mrs. K. M. Lowe, Walnut Park, CaL ^JTJRSE Lowe’s statement merely back* up what over one hundred thousand grateful Tanlac users have said about this great natural tonic and builder. Our file* are packed with such testimony. If your system is run down, if you can'* seem to eat or sleep, have lost weight or suffer from trying pain, why not let Tanlac start to bring you back to vigorous strength and health. No long, wretched wait to get results* Tanlac starts right in to build you up.. 11 cleans the blood, revitalizes digestive organs, fixes up the liver and makes /«* fed like a new person. For Constipation j Take Tanlac Vegetable Pilb SIOUX CITY PTG. CO., NO. 15-1925. Museum’s Many Visitors The British museum lust yelr whs visited by 1,095,555 individuals, tbs largest number since 1851, tbs ytUr of the great exhibition. Good Arrangement "How do I open this tin?” "You will And full Instructions In* side, madam!”—Pele Mele, Paris. The smaller a man's mind the less he seems to know it. / MOTHER:- Fletcher'# i- Castoria is especially pre* / pared to relieve * Infants in arms and Children all ages of Constipation, Flatulency, Wind Colic and Diarrhea; allaying Feverishness arising therefrom, and, by regulating the Stomach and Bowels, aids the ajsimilation of Food; giving natural sleep. (To avoid imitations, always look for the signature of Absolutely Harmless -No Opiates. Physicians everywhere recommend ii