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FOR INDIGESTION
| 1 iMR^n°y
6 Bell-ans
Hot water
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ELL-ANS
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The intestines bend and
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Irritating and dangerous
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carried by the blood
through the system.
Remove this food waste
regularly with Nujol—the
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Shave, Bathe and
Shampoo with one
Soap.— Cuticura
Omfcp> 8oip to the f«vorit»for»af etyr—whATiny.
ONT
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John's Discouragement.
Little Johiusat upon the stairs look
ing disconsolate.
“What’s the matter, Johnny?” asked
Cousin Isabel kindly. -
“Well, you see, Cousin Isabel, they
let me hold the baby on my knee,
sometimes, though he can’t even hold
Ills head up straight. And they weigh
him every single day, but since they
begun It lie’s gained only two pounds
and three ounces. And I’ve Just been
thinking that I’ll he nn old, old man
before that fellow’ll he of any use on
the team.”
Cuticura for Pimply Faces.
To remove pimples and blackheads
smear them with Oetlcura Ointment
Wash off fn five jidautes with Cutl
cura Soap and hot water. Once clear
keep your skin clear by using them for
daily toilet purposes. Don’t full to In
clude Cuticura Talcum. Advertisement
Real Dilemma.
I'nrker—What’s • wrong? You look
worried.
Streeter—I am, I wrote two notes
—one to lny broker, asking him if he
took me for a fool, and (he other to
Miss Golding, asking her If she \voul£
marry me. While I was out somebody
telephoned “Yes,” and I don’t know
which of them It was!”
PEACE IN IRELAND.
THE world rejoices that the Irish
question is at last settled. A
running sore of many centuries’
standing is ihus healed. Britain has
Immeasurably strengthened herself
throughout, civilization and especial
ly wherever Irishmen and their de
scendants are settled. The Irish
peace has a peculiar significance for
America, whose citizenry embraces
millions of Irish blood. The rancor
with which Americans of Irish de
scent have regarded Britain may now
be expected to abate, preparing the
way for a more wholehearted con
cord between Britain and the United
States. And so a feeling of. blessed
relief settles over America, as. It
may be taken for granted, a similar
feeling settles over the whole British
commonwealth of nations.
And from the settlement there
emerges a much greater Lloyd
George—great as he has hitherto
been. His patience, his courage, his
finesse, have been the most potent
factors in bringing about an agree
ment. Spectacularly, Just when nearly
everyone had given up hope, peace
was concluded. It is a typical Lloyd
George denouement, surprising, over
whelming.
Of greatest moment to the out
side world are not the terms of the
agreement—though they are import
ant enough—but the fact that the
pact is satisfactory to the Irish in
Ireland and the British in Britain. It
matters not a whit what a rabid
Orangeman in New York or a rabid
Sinn Feiner in San Francisco thinks
about it. The parties really concerned
are those who must live under the
settlement.
Ireland, it appears, is to be a free
state, with a status resembling some
what that of Canada. She must bear
her share of the national war debt.
She must give reasonable guarantees
to the unionist minority in southern
Ireland. Her legislators must swear
allegiance to the king and his suc
cessors “in virtue of the common
citizenship of Ireland and Great Brit
ain and her adherence to and mem
bership in the group of nations form
ing the British commonwealth of na
tions.”'
uisier is to oe given a month in
which to decide whether she will
cast her lot with the Irish free state.
If she decides adversely a commis
sion will set to work to define her
southern boundary so as, presumably,
to include in the new free state as
many as possible of those portions of
Ulster which wish to be so included.
Apparently this boundary matter is
the whip with which it is hoped to
force an agreement from northern
Ireland.
The settlement must yet be rati
fied by the British parliament and the
Irish daii. Ulster's ratification is
not necessary. If parliament fails to
ratify, the British government inti
mates that it will take the matter to
the people.
Signs are not wanting that Ulster
will ultimately acquiesce in becoming
part of a united Irish nation. Ulster
will not be long in finding out that It
will be to her advantage economically
to belong part and parcel to the
Irish state, once the Irish state ia
functioning.
MORONSAND SEX.
Guy Lee: You may remember
tnat one day last summer you and I
walked over town together, Whether
you do or not, let me freshen your mem
ory further.
As we crossed the boulevard, a girl
was a few feet ahead of us. She wore
a skirt, In appearance something like
those worn by the Hawaiian girls who
the sta*e- You no doubt know
tnat this kind of a skirt intensifies a
certain shaking effect.
You will recall that this girl’s skirt
tuts shorter than my description of it.
You gave it the once over, because
that s what it was there for, and your
comment was: Such women are making
morons of the men.”
That s what I am writing to you about,
Guy Lee.
lou are so brilliant that you splash
an over the paper from disarmament
conferences to pup shows.
I am never surprised when I find your
stunt In the paper.
You can report a sermon and double
as a society editor, and not cause one to
turn a hair.
\ou are grand, high everything else
around this place, Gu*, but you got this
moron business wrong.
Morons, like poets, are born, not made.
A moron is a feebleminded person, and
people destined for feeblemindedness are
. *71 with the place already mapped out
inside them.
amo“nt of looking at barelegged
ladles could make any one feebleminded.
out that was only one way you are
Vrong, Guy Leo.
Though you did not say it, your re
mark plainly indicated that you thought
there was some relation between sex
considerations and moronism, or feeble
mindedness.
Not so.
As a rule, the morons are undersexed
rather than oversexed. If you go down
to the very bottom of the scale of feeble
mindedness, tho subjects have no more
sex impulses than has a Asad log. And
moronism is on the way In that direc
tion.
On the other hand, the man or woman
of compelling, masterful mind is apt to
be oversexed.
If that is what you are looking for,
run down a list of financial wizards, cap
tains of finance, dominating statesmen,
political bosses, great queens—only to
mention a few groups.
Of course, Guy, a feebleminded fellow
is somewhat more likely to do foolish
sex things. Things so foolish that the
community decides he must be a nut.
| But what is more likely?
A feebleminded fellow is more liable
to get caught or, being caught, not be
able to buy his way out with money,
power or influence.
Now, that is about all there is to mt,
Guy.
Now, please don’t make that mistake
again.
f—- -...... ..
J Text of British-Irish Treaty. J
Article 1.
Ireland shall have the same consti
tutional status in the community of
nations known us the British empire,
as Canada, Australia. New Zealand
and South Africa, with a parliament
having powers to make laws for
peace and order and good government
in Ireland, and an executive respon
sible to that parliament, and shall be
styled the Irish Free State.
Articlo 2.
Subject to provisions hereinafter
set out, the position of the Irish Free
State in relation to the imperial par
liament and government and in other
ways, shall be that of the Dominion
of Canada. Tho law. practice and
constitutional usage governing the re
lationship'of the crown and parlia
ment to the Dominion of'Canada shall
govern their relationship to the Irish
Free State.
Article 3.
The representative of tho crown < -
the Irish Free State shall be appoint
ed in like manner as the governor ^
general of Canada.
Article 4.
Members of the parliament of the
Irish Free State shall take an oath
Bwearing allegiance to tho constitu
tion of the Irish Free State and the
king, in virtue of a common citizen
ship in Ireland and Great Britain and
Ireland’s membership in the group of
nations forming the British common
wealth.
Article 5.
The Irish Free State assumes Its
Share of the public debt of the United
Kingdom and the payment of war
pensions In equitable proportion, hav
ing regard to the Just counter claims
of the Irish Free State.
Article 6.
Until an arrangement is made by
the British and Irish governments
whereby the Irish Free State under
takes to provide her own coastal de
fense, tho British government shall
undertake that defense, but shall not
prevent the Irish Free State main
tenance of vessels necessary for the
protection of her revenue and fisher
ies. A British-Irish conference shall
be held five years hence with a view
of Ireland’s undertaking her own
coastal defense.
Article 7.
In peace time and war time the
Irish government shall afford the
British government harborage and
other facilities as may be required
for purposes of defense.
Article o.
With view to the observance of
International limitation of armaments
If the Irish Free State establishes an
army, it shall not exceed Great Brit
ain’s army in proportion to popula
tion.
Article 9.
British anti Irish ports shall be
open to each others ships upon pay
ment of the customary dues.
Article 10.
The Irish Free State agrees to com
pensate on a basis equally favorable
to the act of 1920, ail judges, officials,
police and so forth who are discharged
or retired as a result of the cliange
in government. This shell not apply
to police recruited in Great Britain,
who shall be paid by the Britten
government.
Article 11.
The powers of the Irish 1 roe State
may not be exercised in respect to
Ulster, the provisions of the act of
1920 remaining in force as far as they
relate to northern Ireland, and no
election to the parliament of the Irish
Free State from constituencies in Li
ster shall be held, unless the northern
parliament, by resolutions, favors
such elections before the end of one
month from the date of the ratiflea
tion of the treaty.
Article 12.
If before the end of one month
from the date of such ratification,
Ulster petitions the king opposing
elections to the parliament of the
Irish Free State, the Irish Free State
shall no longer exercise Its power In
northern Ireland* and the provisions
of the home rul/5 act of 1920, in
cluding the council of Ireland, shall
continue to apply to Ulster, subject to
necessary modifications. If such a
petition is presented, a commission oi
three, consisting of one member from
the government who shall he chair
man, one member from the Irish Free
State and one member from Ulster,
shall determine the boundaries of
northe-n and southern Ireland.
Article 13.
In accordance with the foregoing
article, the powers of the parliament
“The Dollar Slumps."
From the Columbus Dispatch.
A headline over a Berlin dispatch to
tl\e New York Tribune the other day
read “Dollar slumps 52 points on Berlin
bourse.” It would have been just about
as true to fact to have slated that the
shores of the Ohio river sank 40 or 50
feet, all along its course, during the flood
last week. The world needs the lesson
to be learned from what is happening in
German monetary matters at present,
and that lesson should not be obscured
by wholly misleading headlines and
news dispatches.
The course of Germany in printing bil
lions of paper marks, with no consid
erable fraction of an adequate gold re
serve or any other substantial form of
security behind them, has knocked all
stability out of the exchange value of
the mark for many months past. The
spirit of gambling speculation which
such a condition excites of course reacts
to increase the violence of the St. Vitus’
dance in which the “value” of the mark
has been whirling. Under such circum
stances when the mark takes a sudden
turn upward, whether the reason for
the turn be genuine or Imaginary, it is
worse than mere foolishness to seize
upon the mark Itself as thf standard *f
quotation and speak of all the curren
cies which have any near approach to
stability, from the dollar to the franc
or lira, as faking a sudden “slump.”
Especially should the New York papers,
sitting at the world's greatest financial
center, keep their colums free from such
misleading and mischievous language.
— • ■■■- . .
Where It Was Needed.
From Answers, London.
Willie was oeing measured for his first
made-to-order suit of clothes.
“Do you want your shoulders padded,
my little man?” inquired the tailor.
"No,” said Willie significantly; “pad
the trousers."
for southern Ireland to elect members
to the council of Ireland shall be
transferred to the parliament of the
Irish Free State when the latter is
constituted.
Article 14.
After the expiration of one month,
If the petition provided for In article
12 is not presented! Ulster shall con
tinue to exercise the powers con
ferred upon her by the act of 1920,
but in matters where Ulster has no
power to legislate under the act of
1920, the parliament of the Irish Free
State shall have the same powers as
It possesses in respect to ie rest
of Ireland, subject to provisions here
inafter agreed on.
Article 15.
At any time after the date hereof
the government of northern Ireland
and the provisional government of
southern Ireland, hereinafter consti
tuted, may meet for discussing pro
visions, subject to which the last of
the foregoing article Is to operate In
the event of no such address as Is
therein mentioned being presented,
and those provisions may Include (a)
safeguards with regard to patronage
In northern Ireland; (b) safeguards
with regard to the collection of rev
enue in northern Ire and[ (c) safe
guards with regard to Import and ex
port duties affecting the trade and In
dustry of northern Ireland; (d) safe
guards for the minorities in northern
Ireland; (e) settlement of financial
relations between northern Ireland
and the Irish Free State; (f) estab
lishment and powers of a local mili
tia in northern Ireland and the re
lation of the defense force of the
Irish Free State and of northern Ire
land, respectively, and If at any such
meeting provisions are agreed to, the
same shall have effect as If they were
Included amongst provisions subject
to which the powers of parliament
and of the government of the Irish
Free State are to be exercisable In
northern Ireland under article 1*
hereof.
Article 16.
Neither tho parliament ui
Free State, nor the parliament ot
northern Ireland shall make any law
so as either directly or indirectly to
endow any religion or prohibit or re
strict the free exercise thereof, or
give any preference or impose any
disability on the account of religious
belief or religious status, or affect
prejudicially the right of any child to
attend school receiving public money
without attending the religious in
structions of the school, or make any
discrimination as respects state aid
between schools under the manage
ment of the different religious de
nominations, or divert from any re
ligious denomination or any educa
tional institution any of its property
except for public utility purposes and
on the payment of compensation.
Articlo 17.
By way of provisional arrangement
for the administration of southern
Ireland during the interval between
J tho date hereof and the constitution
i ot a parliament and a government of
j the Irish Free State in accordance
! therewith, steps shall be taken
| forthwith for summoning a meeting
; for summoning members of parlia
I ment elected for constituencies in
I southern Ireland since the passing of
! the government of Ireland act in 1920
! and for constituting a provisional
i government. And the British gov
; eminent shall take steps necessary to
| transfer to such provisional govern
] ment the powers and machinery re
; qulsite for the discharge of its duties,
| provided every member of such pro
j visional government shall have signl
; fied in writing his or her acceptance
; of the instrument. But this arrange
I ment shall not continue in force be
I yond the expiration of 12 months.
Article 18.
This instrument shall be submitted
| forthwith by his majesty's govern
: ment for the approval of parliament
i and by’ the Irish signatories to a
! meeting summoned for the purpose
of members elected to sit in the house
of commons of southern Ireland, and
if approved, it shall be ratified by
the necessary legislation.
Signed For Britain.
Lloyd George, Austen Chamberlain,
Birkenhead, Winston Churchill,
Worthington Evans. Hamar Green
wood, Gordon Hewart.
Signed For Ireland.
Art of Griobhtha (Arthur Griffith),
Michael O. O. Silealn (Michael Col
lins), Riobard Bartun (Robert C.
Barton), E. S. Dugan (Eamon J. Dug
gan), Seorsa Ghabgain Ui Dhubh
thaigh (George Gavan Duffy).
Dated the 6th of December, 1921.
Where Quality Won.
From the New York Herald.
It costs time and money for American
mills and factories to turn out export
products which represent highest qual
ity am! workmanship. But the policy of
quality first pays In the end.
An incident has Just been closed in
Argentine with the rather surprising
climax of a presidential decree award
ing an order for SB locomotives and a
largo quantity of spare parts to an
American company. The value of the or
der is $6,500,000. An order of the same
size has been awarded to an American
car building concern.
German firms had submitted several
bids Cutting their prices 25 per cent
under tho American quotation. But the
reputation of the American firms, their
ability to make prompt deliveries and to
meet exacting specifications, won the
order. Instead of abrogating the —mtract
and awarding it to the German company
at a lower price the preslu:”tial de
cree gave it unqualified approval.
This Incident proves what has so often
been preached to American manufac
turers; quality Is the key which open*
world markets and keeps them open.
- - --
King George, war with Ireland
being over, immediately issued a
proclamation freeing all political
prisoners interned in Ireland. Many
of them were accused of murder and
wero proud to admit that they had
Bred on English troops. This actlor
may interest our officials that are
keeping old Eugene Debs In Jail be
cause, a little pfematurely as Wells
points out, he worked for the uni
versal peace for which the Wash
ington conference is now working
with the United States government
back of It.
* -i 1 ■ (' • • ‘ii'Dt (! TV
CHOICE BETWEEN TWO LOVES j
1
Can One Wonder That Malvina Tur
tledove Heritated Wh:n It Came
to a Showdown?
Malvina Turtledove weeped bitter
ly. Those dear, bright blue eyes were
In danger of being washed clearer and
bluer still.
She was in love!
Then she dressed hurriedly, In prep
aration for Jack's expected visit.
Promptly at eight lie arrived.
“Jack,” she breathed, “I am so wor
ried."
"My pet, my nngcl, what Is It?”
asked Jack, In great concern.
“T have got (o give one of you up.
and I don’t know which I love b'est.
On n’t I—” I lie maiden wept.
“No!” returned Jack, determinedly.
“Yon must choose between us—he
or 1!"
"Jack,” she wept, "show me some
mercy!”
P.ut lie showed her none, and so,
with n last look of love, Malvina
threw her Pomeranian, Hob, out of the
window and said:
“Jack, I am yours!”
ATTORNEY SURELY A WONDER
But Old Darky’s Admiration Must
Have Been Embarrassing Under
the Circumstances.
In Alabama they tell of a prosecut
ing attorney who was so uniformly
successful with Ids cases that he bo
enme both the terror of evil-doers tn
the vicinity and the admiration of all,
especially the dusky portion of the
population.
Upon Ids withdrawal from office he
was at once sought out by those
charged with crime. Much to Ids dis
gust, the first two cases that he de
fended resulted In the conviction of
Ids clients. An aged darky, named Joe
Clinton, who had watched Ids prosecu
tions with wonder and who looked
on with cqunl amazement now he con
ducted the defense, met the attorney
Just after Ids second defeat.
“Mistah Cal,” -suld the old chap, In
awed tones, “yo’ shore Is a wonder.
No matter which side you Is on, they
goes to the pen Just the sume.”—Mil
waukee Sentinel.
No Offense.
Chairman Lasker of the shipping
board said, In an interview:
“These men are taking needless of
fense. They were taking offense where
none Is Intended.
“A tall, guunt, vinegar-faced wom
an walked Into Wawn station one day
and said to the ticket agent:
••'Gimme a ticket for Chester
ucignis.
‘‘•Single?’ asked the ngent.
"The woman’s eyes Hashed steely
spnrks.
“ 'None n’ ycr darn business,’ she
hissed, ' Dost knows, though, I
might have parried a dozen times
over If I'd been willin’ to grubstake
■nine shiftless, putty-faced monkey like
yerself.’ ’’
’N Ev’rything.
"My own!” he exclaimed, ns they
were starting on their wedding Jour
ney. "Does It make you happy to
know that you are mine—all mine—
forever?”
“Yes, It makes me awfully happy,"
she replied. “Now I .can eat candy
without being afraid of getting fat,
and have a charge account and every
thing, can’t I?”
Couldn’t Fool Him.
An Indianapolis woman was visiting
her three-year-old grandson, and one
day saw him standing before the mir
ror looking at himself, and saying: •
"Yes, that’s me.”
“Thomas,” said grandmother, “you
should say, ‘That’s I.’ ”
"Well, It might be I, but It looks like
me.”
Surprise for Mother.
Mnrjory—Mnmniu, were you at home
when I was born?
Mother—No, darling. I was at
grandma’s In the country.
Marjory—Wasn’t you nwf’Iy s’prlsed
when you heard about It?
He Is a poor lawyer who mistakes
the will for the deed.
And when a cigar Is called a "weed"
the reason Is obvious.
DIFFERENT, OFF THE StAGE
Master Crook Had to Seek Ord'nary
Mortal to Perform What Would
Seem Simple Tack.
Pit retain Drake, the world-famous
film villain, had had a very busy thiy
at the studios.
In the performance of part nineteen
of "The Master Crook” he had deftly
cut open with his electric saw five
formidable safes, mastered swiftly the
mysterious combinations of nine more,
and with a nonchalant air lmd picked
the lock of his prison cell.
And now, his day’s work finished,
lie breathed n s'gh of relief as be
alighted from his car and reached the
door of his lint.
It wns locked.
Anxiously he searched every pocket
of his clothes for the latchkey, but
failed to unearth it. ,>
“Here's a fix!” he groaned.
Afler another vain search the
Master Crook walked around to the
nearest locksmith’s shop, flung a $20
bill Into the counter and begged the
unshaven man in charge to come and
open Ids “blessed” door!
MOTHER! MOVE
CHILD’S BOWELS WITH
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP
Hurry, mother! Even a slek child
loves the ‘fruity” taste of “California
Fig Syrup” and It never fails to 'open
the bowels. A teaspoonful today may
prevent a sick child tomorrow. If con
stipated, bilious, feverish, fretful, has
cold, colic, or If stomach Is sour,
tongue coated, breath had, remember a
good cleansing of the little bowels Is
often all that is necessary.
Ask your druggist for genuine "Cali
fornia Fig Syrup" which lias directions
for babies and children of all ages
printed on bottle. Mother! You must
say ‘‘California’ or yon may get an
Imitation itg syrup.—Advertisement,
CONDENSATIONS
Strongest rope fs made of cottbn.
Don’t look for fruits on a tree that
never bore a blossom.
A loqnacioue friend is often worse
than a discreet enemy.
The moral of a dog's tall Is that it
invariably points to the post. ‘
Most people act natural when they
nre asleep.
About two-thirds of n man's friends
would fall to stand the test.
Dyspepsia sours n lot of the milk of
human kindness. /
1 ll""r.. i
New flannels nnd small boys huva
been known to shrink from washing.
A man laments his thoughtlessness
almost ns much us he does his sins.
Circulate as much truth and as few.
words as possible. 1
«*
Selfish people never laugh except at
the expense of others.
Occasionally a girl marries her
ideal, but he soon outgrows it.:
-- .. j
An optimist may be a person who In
vests in a gold brick every time the
opportunity presents Itself.
--—---.
Everybody lias his weak spot. No
use passing laws to correct all the
defects.
If one must nccept statistics, he
gives most credence to those of the
Insurance companies.
Men are seldom vnin of their clothes.
They can’t easily wear more than
$160 worth.
No man who has an automobile
needs a hobby to occupy his leisure
time.
A Bad Case.
She—How much do you love me,
dear? ,
He—As much ns you love yourself.
! * ' **?;>
WARNING! Unless you see name “Bayer” on tablets,
you are not getting genuine Aspirin prescribed by
physicians over 21 years and proved safe by millions for
Colds Headache Rheumatism
Toothache Neuralgia Neuritis
Earache Lumbago Pain, Pain
■
Accept only "Bayer” package which contains proper directions.
Bandy tin bona of 12 tablet*—Bottle* of 24 aid 100—All drugs iota.
a*plrla It Ik# trad# Dark at Bayer Manufacture of MouoaaeUcachlaater of SaWbaaMil
■» .. ■ *
