.=
Class in Physiology.
Teacher—Where is (lie heart lo
cated.
Little .Timmy (silent).
Teacher (place* hand on boy's
chest)—Don't you feel the heating?
Little Jimmy—No; I usually feel it
•n the other side a little lower down.
ASPIRIN
Name “Bayer” on Genuine
j*f
i Take Aspirin oifiy as told in each
'package of genuine Bayer Tablets ol
Aspirin. Then job will be following
the directions and dosage worked out
by physicians during 21 years, and
proved safe by millions. Take no
chances with substitutes. If you see
the Bayer Cross on tablets, you can
take them without fear for Colds,
Headache, Neuralgia, Rheumatism,
Earache, Toothache, Lumbago and
for Pain. Handy tin boxes of twelve
tablets cost few cents. Druggists also
sell larger packages. Aspirin is the
trade mark of Bayer Manufacture of
Monoaceticacidester of Salicyileacid.—
Ad*. __
His Reason.
“I wish you would tetl uie,” said
the agent, who had been a long time
on Mr. Snaggs’ trail, “what is your
objection to having your life insured?”
“Well, I don't mind "telling you,” re
plied Snaggs. “The idea of being
more valuable dead than alive is dis
tasteful to me.”
Catarrh
Catarrh la a local disease greatly influ
enced by constitutional conditions.
HALL’S CATARRH MEDICINE Is a
Tonic and Blood Purifier. By cleanaing
the blood and building up the System,
HALL’S CATARRH MEDICINE restores
normal conditions and allows Nature t»
do its work.
All Druggists. Circulars free.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.
Why Not?
"You know, on the other side of
the earth It's a day later than It Is
here.”
“I don’t believe It."
“Well, I'll prove It to you. If you
were in Australia and 1 was here and
you were to be shot today I’d know
it yesterday.”
"Well, ff you were a friend of mine
you'd send me a telegram today fell,
tug me I'm shot."
Cuticura for Sore Hand*.
Soak bands on retiring in the hot sudB
of Cuticura Soap, dry and rub in Oo
tlcura Ointment Remove surplus
Ointment with tissue paper. This is
only one of the things-Cuticuru will do
if Soap, Ointment and Talcum arc used
for all toilet purposes.—Adv.
When there is such an ocean of
trouble, be thankful you are only
touched by the spray.
Sixty per cent of genius is hard
work. Perseverance often succeeds
when taieut fails.
«
50good cigarettes
for 10c from
one sack of
GENUINE
DURHAM
TOBACCO
r--——--- —■
Lloyd George; Political
Contortionist
i- -1
From an Article by E. T. Raymond, in the Atlantic Monthly.
It is just over 15 years since Mr. Lloyd George accepted his first post as
a minister of the British crown. Since then he has been continuously in of
fice; during nearly 13 years he has supported the most onerous responsibili
ties; he has again and again emerged with increased prestige from bogs and
sloughs that would have engulfed any polltican less agile; finally, as the only
possible choice, he was called by acclamation to a position in which he has
for four years maintained a despotic, almost personal rule. Of the chiefs of
state who waged war and made peace, he alone remains erect. '
On the face of things, one would say that the British prime minister has
indeed discovered the knack of averting the jealousy of the gods. His pres
tige is, to all appearances, higher today than it was a twelvemonth ago.
There has necessarily been some declension from the enthusiasm of tno
armistice days; it was not in human nature that that fever of worship should
endure in its full intensity. But the prime minister's prestige is still such,
that any attack on him recoils on the assailant; and for the most part those
who would most willingly wound are most afraid to strike. Not since the
time of the elder Pitt has opposition been so easily cowed by mere gesture.
in erreci, ms wnoie amtatte can oe r-xprcssea in one semtiHc.
who won the war?" The words are not always spoken. But they are always
Implied; and so far they have never failed 6f their effect. The walla of the
Jericho of parliamentary opposition fall at the first sound of the prime min
ister's trumpet, and Mr. Lloyd George—convinced that in this regard only
what he does himself will be well done—is mainly his own trumpeter.
Undoubtedly this quite innocent and even attractive capacity of self-ap
predation in public is a source of considerable strength to Mr. Lloyd George.
To the very genuine capacity of this remarkable man, I am by no means
blind: he is without doubt the most considerable force in English politics
since Gladstone. He has quite extraordinary courage, an amazing faculty
of getting u. the point, a great talent for choosing efficient instruments. His
grip of essentials is such that it largely compensates for a sloppiness ir. detail
that would be fatal to any other practitioner of his method. Half the mis
understandings. domestic and international, which arise from time to time
are due rather to this carelessness than to any dgeper cause. But if Mr.
Lloyd George does make many mistakes, he enjoys marvelous luck in es
caping their consequences, and shows almost miraculous skill In putting them
right.
But these would not alone suffice to maintain his prestige with the pub
lic. On that side he is helped by a curious insensitivepess. It is not exactly
want of dignity: on occasion, he can speak and act with a sort of severe and
statuesque magnanimity that the great aristocrats of the iSth century would
hardly' have deemed inadequate. But, like the Tudors,—who also were M elsb,
—he has the knock, so to speak, of vaulting off his throne, having a bout of
fisticuffs with an inferior, and vaulting back again, without serious loss of
prestige. Henry VIII wrestled with a butcher; Elizabeth often boxed the
ears of her maids of honor, and sometimes of her nobles; neither compro
mised princeliness in doing so. A similar want of reserve is indulged, with
similar immunity, by Mr. Lloyd George, and he even derives, as the Tudors
did, a specific political advantage from it.
Mr. Asquith fell, no doubt, partly from his own weakness; hut his fall was
cerfatnly accelerated by the attacks of Lord Northcliffe’s newspapers. On
the one side, there was a chorus of cleverly manipulated depreciation, In every
key and genre, from the organ notes of the Times to the syncopated shrill
ness of the cheaper dailies and weeklies. Every hour of the day,- week after
week, month after month,—the attack was maintained, with all the rtrt of a
supreme genius in tire manipulation of public opinion. On the other s,de, was
dignified and even wooden silence. Mr. Asquith, with Pee) and Gladstone in
his mind's eye, wipeed, but did not retort: he rashly deemed it beneath him
to take cognizance of a thing not less obvious than Niagara, and (for one in
his position) not less dangerous.
Mr. Lloy-d Ueorge, more alive to actuality, took care not to make the same
mistake when his own time came. When he in turn was galled by the same
converging fire, he let no question of the dignity of a minister of the crown
qualify the sting and destructive force of his repartee. He treated Lord
Northcllffe exactly as he used to treat an impudent back-bencher, or a trucu
lent opposition leader, or the late German emperor. With a sort of gay fere
city, he aimed straight at the weak point in his opponent's harness, got in hi*
weapon, and turned it round with cruel glee.
"Lord Northcllffe says this and that. Why does he say this and that?
Of course, everybody knows that it was because—'' And here followed ex
actly ths last thing the great journalist would like to have the public know.
For Lord Northcllffe, while contemptuous of what he'calls "newspaper shrap
nel,"— the kind of criticism that has only a general objective,—is easily ter
rorized by fire that is carefully aimed and threatens to let daylight into hi»
own dugouts. He has never quite recovered from the prime minister’s per
fectly undignified and very effective riposte. The press campaign goes on,
of course, and more bitterly than ever. But while lofty silence would have
given it authority, familiar and bantering speech certainly impaired its moral
value. By treating the matter in the spirit of a personal vendetta, Mr. Lloy*
George has succeeded in getting it largely' recognized as such.
This freedom from restraint is, I repeat, a great source of strength to Mr,
Lloyd George. It makes people think twice before they cross him. The
knowledge that no consideration will count with him when his ba< k is to ths
wall' that he will fight, not only with blade and fist, but with feet and nails,
if necessary, undoubtedly cows much opposition that might otherwise deelars
(After Kipling.)
If you can keep vour head while all about you
Are losing theirs and trying to turn things back
If vou can hold yourself while times are changing.
Keep looking forward, see the onward track.
If you can run your shop when business slackens,
Nor profit by the workers' need for bread,
Refrain from using power though you hat e it,
But keep on doing what i3 right Instead,
If you can see competitors cut wages
Because there a» j two men for every Job,
See them forget the profits they've been making.
And talk about tlieir people as "the mob,”
If vou can see that past years’ extra profits
Should partly go to pay for this year’s lens,
That you must play the game with utmost fairness
Because the world expects it of a boss:
If you can see how much depends upon you
At times like this, when others yield to greed,
If you can hold now to the best that's in you,
Refuse to profit by your workers’ need,
If you can hold the weak-kneed to their duty
And make them see that selfishness Is wrong,
That strife and s.ruggle can bring naught but loss**.
That naught but harmony can make us strong.
If you can keep yourself from present grabbing,
Can show the weak that meanness never pays,
Can hold the path of right without a falter,
Can show them how it leads to better days.
If you can make your fellows see that losses
Must come to all who do not play the game,
Yours is the Earth, my sou, and all that's in it;
You’ll be a man—and win a place of fame!
—Kred H. Calvin, in New York Times.
You Can’t Please 'Em All.
From the Atlanta Constitution.
A dear o’.d lady from Oklahoma who
had never crossed the Mississippi river
before, attended the convention of the
Daughters of the American Revolution
In Washington.
Tito congressman from her district
wanted to be courteous to her, and
show her some of the city.
He called at her hotel one evening
and, after passing a few words of greet
ing. inquired if she would not stroll
with him through "Peacock alley"—that
famous corridor of all fashions, that
connects Pennsylvania avenue and "F”
streets, through the Willard hotel.
"i ll have you understand, young fel
low, I’m not the kind to be ‘strolling’
through these here eastern city alleys
with rnen at night, and if I tell my
grandsons back home in Oklahoma
about your proposal, they’ll make It
hot for you next election——"
Well, you Just can t please everybody.
Anyhow, congressmen will tell you that.
Traditions In Lying Menaced.
From the Minneapolis Tribune.
It will be a grave mistake if the ocean
steamship companies carry out their an
nounced intention of plating profes
sional liars on the ocean liners. Fur
many reasons that would be a stop in
the wrong direction. It would create a
professional class in a field where ama
teurism has hitherto been supreme, it
would Imperil avocations, not merely at.
sea, but over the land, for it would raise
up professional competition again d at
least one on every group in tin- smoking
compartments of the railroad trains. It
would inject commercialism into men
dacity which heretofore has flourished
Ingratiating.
“This is the fifth time you have been
brought up befoiw ine," said the judge
severely
“Yes, your honor," smiled the of
fender. "When I like a feller 1 gen
erally giver him all me business.**
Dutch Guinea Cannibals.
From Scribner's Magazine.
Though the population of Dutch Nen
Guinea is estimated at 200.000, lh<
predilection of its fuzzy-haired inhabi
tants for human flesh has discoura^ec
the Dutch census takers from making
an accurate enumeration, as the Papuar
cannibal does not hesitate to sacriflci
the needs of science to those of th<
cooking pot. Though Ne w Guinea ii
believed to be enormously rich in nat
ural resources, and has many excGllen
harbors, the Dutch have thus far onlj
nibbled at its edges. The secrets of iti
mysterious interior can only be con
jectured. The natives are as degrade<
as any in the world; their principal vo
cation is hunting birds of paradise
whose plumes command Jiigli prices Ir
the European markets; their chief avo
cation iri recent years has been staginj
imitation cannibal feasts for the benefi
of motion picture expeditions.
Warning.
Ask me nothing now. my dear—
The stars arc all too large and near;
At dusk the peepers in the pool
Make my pulses play the fool;
Itobins with morning winds awake
And in my spirit barriers break;
The willows are too golden green,
The grasses are to young and clean.
The little brooks too loud and swift!
Too red a crest the maples lift.
The heart of life beats high and glad—
(’an we keep wise when earth goal
mad?
Do not ask me anything
Lest minfortune fall.
I am in love with Love £.n«3 Spring
Ami not with you at all!
—Amelia Josephine Burr, in The Out
look.
Condensing Einstein.
From the Manchester Union.
Einstein explains the dazed condiUoJ
of the work! on the ground that Hi
coining out of th* ether.
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
V
Children Cry F
t V hjWM
«»• * /•»
Special Care of Baby.
That Baby should have a bed of its cwn all are agreed. '*ct it
is more reasonable for an infant to sleep with grown-ups than to use
a man’s medicine in an attempt to regulate the delicate organism of
that same infant. Either practice is to be shunned. Neither would
be tolerated by specialists in children’s diseases.
Your Physician will tell you that Baby’s medicine must be
prepared with even greater care than Baby’s food.
A Baby’s stomach when in good health is too often disarranged
by improper food. Could you for a moment, then, think of giving
to your ailing child anything but a medicine especially prepared
for Infants and Children ? Don’t be deceived.
Make a mental note of this:—It is important, Mothets, that
you should remember that to function well, the digestive organs of
your Baby must receive special care. No Baby is so abnormal that
the desired results may be had from the use of medicines primarily
prepared for grown-ups.
MAHERS SHOULD READ THE BOOKLET THAT IS AROURD EVERY BOTTLE OF FLETCHER’S CASTORIA
GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS
TENOR “CARRIED THE TUNE”!
Distribution of Voices in the Singing
of Old Ecclesiastical Songs,
and In Opera.
In the old ecclesiastical songs the
foiee which sang the chant melody,
and around which other parts grouped
themselves was called the "tenor.''
This task had to he intrusted to the
person with the highest or loudest
voice. The word is derived from the
Latin tenco (I hold) and mennt noth
ing more than that the tenor "carried
the tune.”
Voices were not formerly distributed
! us at present. W. J. Henderson in Ids
"Karly History of Singing" says:
j "We should undoubtedly lie amazed
i to find Julius Caesar singing soprano
or Achillea contralto, hut the opera go
ers of the Seveneteentli century would
have been much astonished if either of
! them had been a barytone or a bass,
j At most they could have been tenors,
hut neither in that case would have
j been the principal personages in the
• i drama. He would surely have boon n
soprano."
Acting the Part.
Smith visited ills friend Jones, (lie
playwright, and observed with regret
that' Jones treated his wife shame
fully. So lie said to Jones:
"Why do you talk so roughly to your
wife?”
"I hate doing it, bul I'm obliged to,”
returned Jones.
“How are you obliged to?”
"You see, 1 am writing a tragedy
and 1 have to keep myself in a proper
frame of mind. Yon should see how
I fluff with her when l"m writing com
edy !”— Houston Post.
* i
—
Why They Don’t Speak.
Doris—"Most people admire my |
mouth- Do you?” Jack (absenf
minedly)—"I think it is simply ini
menso!”
-- - - ■
A good tiling ceases to be a good i
tiling when we get too much of It. 1
Don’t Count
j Tfour Night Hours
Counting the clock strokes
at night means losing the
day hours in drowsiness.
A cup of tea or coffee at
bedtime often results in
dreary wakefulness.
| Postum Cereal
is a hot, cheering, meal*time
beverage, fully satisfying to
the taste, ana you can drink
it at any hour of the day •—•
as many cups as you like -—
with no irritation to nerves.
Better nights and brighter morn
ings usually follow a change
to Postum as the table drink.
“There's a Reason
Made by Postum Cereal Co.,Tnc Battle Creek. Mich.
I 1
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SIOUX CITY CHICAGO SIOUX FALLS
KNEW THE WORD OF COMMAND
Old Lady Quick to Recognize Phrase
That She Had Heard Used
by Her Willie.
Military terminology has affixed it
self to our language. Recent adver
tisements of n new dictionary use such
phrases as "cheerio,” “how is your mo
rale?” and “die zero hour.” And only
last week the papers spoke of a ••bar
rage of coughing,” which drowned out
a lecture speaker In Brooklyn.
In City Hall park recently another
Instance was noted. A young than
halted at a newsstand. “Times,” said
lie. Then, as the “newsle”—nil old
woman of sixty—stooped to get it, “As
you were ! World !"
The old woman, as she handed him
tlie paper, clicked Iter heels together
and delivered a perfect hand salute.”
"My Willie was In the army, too."
she explained.—New York World.
A Resolution.
“See here,” said Adam to Kve, “do
you realize that the high eost of living
is crimping me badly? You simply
must bo less extravagant in the mut
ter of clothes."
“All right, dear,” answered Kve,
obligingly, “I’ll help you to economize
by turning over an old leaf.”- Ameri
can l.eglon Weekly.
Ollier people's mistakes cause u* a
lot of unnecessary trouble.
======F==r-”!===.--==s5n
LACKING IN WILLIE’S MAKEUP
j
! Really Not Small Boy’s Fault That H«
Was Unable to Complyv With
Mother’s Advice.
Senator Mef’mnher. clmirm i of (lie
senate Uunnr-e comniHttc, was discuss
ing those exposures of terrific profit
eering on (lie part of ddlnr-a-ycnr
patriots.
"We must not t>e too bnr<l on these
misguided men,” lie said with a wink.
"They occupied positions of great
temptation, you know. It is easier to
sermonize iibotil temptation than to re-*
sist it.
"These weak, culpable and yet well
i meaning men remind me of little
Willie.
“Utile Willie stole a quarter one
day out of hV. mother’s pocketbook.
His tnotlier detected the theft and
trounced him severely. Then she
preached him a long sermon conclud
ing with :
“It’s all a matter of resisting
I temptation. Always, always turn a
; deaf ear to temptntlou, son.”
i ’‘Idtllc Willie stopped ids sobbing
long enough to say :
" ‘lint, mom, I ain’t got no deaf ear.’ ’•
Apropos.
i It was a solmbl-tiuy romance, ami
though we went to different schools,
| we always managed to go home to
gether. Before long it was well known
ilmi Alice and Jim were sweetheart-;
and our names were often linked to
gether. One day Jim visited our school
i and came into our Spanish class. 1
, was asked to recite, and there were
loud, gleeful exclamations when 1 in
I mKvnti.v translated the sentence "I
> go to visit my friend Jim. who greets
, me affectionately."—Kxclmnge.
ONLY 30 CENTS
for this bountiful Gold Filled Ring
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gem, any color you wuh. Send
fifty cents with your name end
adrlrceB ami a. ling exactly lik»
illustration will be sent prepaid.
If not aatUfled return it i«i thiee
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wanted Colley, l’.O. Box £49, Providence, R I.
80 Years Old
—Was Sick
Now Feels Youn^ After
Taking Eatonic for
Sour Stomach
“I liatl sour stomach ever since I had
(he grip and it bothered me badly
Have taken Eatonic only a week and
am much bettor. Am 'SO years old,"
says Mrs. John Hill.
Eatonic quickly relieves sour slum
‘ ach, Indigestion, heartburn, bloating
: and distress after easing because it
| takes up and carries out the excess
i acidity and gases which cause most
1 stomach ailments. If you have “tried
| everything" and still suffer, do not give
! up hope. Eatonic ltus brought relief to
| tens of thousands like you. A big box
' costs but a trifle with your druggist’s
guarantee.
StOUX CITY PTG. CO., NO .?t-1921.
04
