ITT”**!!— -.mil
The First Step.
Fd Bowes, the theatrical manager,
ased to live in San Francisco, and out
there he knew a certain oontr tor
\ who did a good deal of work for the
city.
One morning—so Bowes says—a
stranger who professed to understand
street repairing in all its branches ap
plied to the contractor for a job as
foreman. The boss undertook to test
. the applicant.
p. “Well, now,” lie said “supposin’
you was called upon to clean out n
sewer down in Chinatown that was
clogged sit both ends. What would you
do tirst?"
Tlie man thought a moment.
^ “I'd bless myself," lie said simply.—
—Sunday Magazine.
There are two distinct classes of
college graduates: Those who accept
positions and those who hunt jobs.
Some men are not in business for
fun, but are in it to make money to
have fun.
Unnecessarily Alarmed.
The postman handed him the letter.
One glance at tlie envelope sent him
nearly into hysterics.
“Heavens!” lie cried, “the first chal
lenge I ever got.”
“Duel” was In big letters on the out
side of the envelope.
"But 1 can't tight, and—”
So he hurried to the station house,
explained that lie knew of no enemy
who would- demand ills blood and
asked for protection.
Three blue-coated arms of the law
presented themselves.
The detective force hurried out. By
that time the desk sergeant had re*
covered.
He said it meant, “Due one cent.”
Both Ways.
“His argument was fatuous.”
“Did it strike you that way? Now,
I thought it was rather thin.”
Don’t think because variety is the
spice of life that everybody is stuck on
hash.
What !s Castoria
C^j3iORIA is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Drop*
and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium,
Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age ia its guarantee. It
destroys Worms and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It
assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and
natural sleep. The children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend.
The Kind You Havo Always Bought, and which has been in use for over
30 years, has born the signature of Chas. H. Fletcher, and fca3 been made under
his personal supervision since its infancy. Allow no one to deceive you 'in this.
All Counterfeits, Imitations and “Just-as-good” are but Experiments that
. trifle with and endanger the health of Infant3 and
Children—Experience against Experiment.
(iet aine Castoria always bears the signature of
BRAVE SOLDIER OF FORTUNE
Grimaldi, Who Drove the Moors From
the Mediterranean, Given Monaco
as His Reward.
One of the many disappointments
of the present war is almost total ab
sence of thrilling stories eoncerning
the soldier of fortune. Even the “for
eign legion” of France, that is made
up of dare-devils from ail over tlie
world, has little or nothing in the way
of romance to offer, and tlie romantic
spirits have always been tlie ones that
attached themselves to the French ban
ner.
Did you ever hear of the most dis
tinguished of the Grimaldi family, not
the Genoese general who remained at
home and fought for his own country,
\ nor yet the artist who did heroic stunts
y on canvas, nor the sixteenth century
Grimaldi who died by tlie hand of an
assassin in tlie palace at Monaco, hut
tlie tenth century ancestor of that
prince, who saved Monaco from the
Moors? His was an achievement
worthy of a true soldier of fortune.
The tiny principality, perched on its
seagirt cliff had been settled by the
Greeks even before Athens became
• tlie greatest city of the civilized world.
It was one of the cultural outposts of
Rome, and in tlie fifth century it was
an important center of Christianity.
Then the Moors crossed the Medi
terranean. extended their sway over
Spain and seized tlie ancient Hercnlis
Monoeci Portus and gave over its
churches and monasteries to tlie in
fidels. For COO years they defied the
soldiers of Europe, and then Grimaldi
eaine. There had been many wars In
Genoa, and here was a chance for a
Genoese captain. When Ills military
genius had driven the Moors into tlie
sea. he was rewarded by being made
absolute monarch of a country 53 miles
In circumference.
Personal Endeavors.
“My face is my fortune,” said the
girl with the dazzling complexion."
“Permit me,” replied Mr. Dustin
Stax, “to extend the compliments of
a self-made man to a self-made woiu
uu.
A small boy defines n lady as a
grown-up girl who isn’t saucy.
Barbers and carpenters are both
shavers.
Possibilities of Slang.
Slang and its possibilities were viv
idly expressed in the conversation of
two youths in a Back Bay home one
night recently, says Hie Boston Trav
eler. The boys got into a discussion
and when all legitimate arguments had
been exhausted, the following repartee
was heard:
“Snow again, 1 didn’t catch the
drift."
“Keep on spouting, kid. you’re a
whale.”
“Tie yer siioe, your tongue’s hangin’
out.”
"Ilang crepe on yer ear, you mutt,
yer brain is dead.”
“Aw sanri your track, yer sllppin’!’’
“Sneeze, little one, your bean Ir
rusty.”
CLEANSE THE PORES
Of Your Skin and Make It Fresh and
Clear by Using Cuticura. Trial Free.
When suffering from pimples, black
head, redness or roughness, smear
the skin with Cuticura Ointment.
Then wash off with Cuticura Soap and
hot water. These super-creamy emol
lients do much for the skin becauso
they prevent pore clogging.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Lioston. Sold everywhere.—Adv.
Boston’s Culture Vindicated.
The much acclaimed culture of Bos
ton won for itself new laurels wlten
no less a person than Dr. W. T. Sedg
wick discarded a time-honored expres- I
sion that has been in use for years j
unnumbered.
In his lecture to a class of public
health students he said to his highly
amused hearers:
“Public health work should be In
the hands of an especially trained
class of tnen—and should not be left
to every Thomas, Richard and Henry!"
Exit the familiar old “Tom, Dick
and Harry” of our childhood.
His Reading Matter.
“What are you reading nowadays?”
“The key lines in moving picture
shows mostly.”
Give some people half a chance and
they’ll swipe the other half.
She is a wise wife who knows her
own husband.
I * Buy materials that last |
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t For all particulars apply to
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Be* Bid*.. Oasoha. Neb., and R. A. GABBETT. 311 Jackson St.. St. rsul. Minn.
" _ Canadian Government Asen**
I CHINESE MONARCHISTS TRIAL HAS
BEEN ORDERED BY NEW PRESIDENT
,y
Chow Tzu-Chi, China's ex-minister of finance.
Chow Tzu-Chi, for several years minister of agriculture and commerct
tnd finance under the late Yuan Shai Kai, ha3 been listed with other
monarchists to be punished by the new president and will be put on trial if
he can be brought within reach of Chinese jurisdiction.
*
WISDOM'S CHILD. ♦
4 ♦
4 From the Milwaukee Journal. +
♦- ♦
4 Poker and love are both games of 4
4 bluff. 4
♦ — 4
4 Only a man who is wise doubts 4
4 his own wisdom. 4
4 — 4
4 You can’t push ahead by patting 4
4 yourself on the back. +
4 — 4
4 There are more heroes on the 4
4 stage than in real life. 4
4 — 4
4 It’s hard to believe some things, 4
4 even when we want to believe them. 4
4 — 4
4 Any man is liable to make mis- 4
4 takes, but It is the other fellow that 4
4 makes blunders. 4
4 4
4 One trouble with reform Is that 4
4 every man wants to apply it to the 4
4 other fellow. 4
4 Most women have become so fa- 4
4 miliar with promises that they have 4
4 no faith in them. 4
4 A young man always likes to have 4
4 a girl keep on loving him even after 4
4 he has quit. 4
4 What a married man can’t under- 4
4 stAnd is why a single man is unable 4
4 to appreciate his liberty. 4
4 4
4 Half the world doesn’t stop to 4
4 consider that it is none of its busi- 4
4 ness how the other half lives. 4
t444M ♦ * o o
Kindly King Georgs.
From Tit-Bits.
Many ctr.ries have been told of the
kindiy, considerate nature of King
George, but the following touching epi
sode particularly emphasizes that sym
pathetic feeling which his majesty has
lor every subject. A short time ugo a
widow living at Forest Gate, who has
four soldier sons, was seized with a
dangerous illness and craved for the
sight of her hoy, Cecil, who was a cor
poral in life Second East Anglian bri
gade, R. F. A„ which has been in
France for some months.
Relieving her mother to be dying, his
sister wrote to Cecil asking him to ap
ply for leave and come home. If he
wished to see liiu mother alive. The
corporal presented the communication
to his captain, who told him that there
was no chance to leave, as he could not
he spared.
The sister then made a direct appeal
to the captain, hut again the message
<ame through: "Sorry lie cannot be
spared." In the meantime the stricken
mother was calling for her boy, anu
her cries so affected the daughter that
she suddenly decided to appeal to the
king.
To her great joy she received the
following letter in a day or two:
"Madam: In reply to your petition
to the king, which has been forwarded
to this department, I am commanded
by the army council to acquaint you
that a telegram has been sent to the
military authorities overseas, asking
that leave may he granted to your
brother, Corporal C. Tuey, R. F. A„ as
an exceptional t ase. <
"I am your obedient servant,
“R. B. Cubitt."
And thus it came about that one
niebt, when tile corporal was sitting
on a bundle of hay, depressed and
downhearted at the thought that he
might never see his mother alive again,
he was told that the captain wanted
him. Then he learned that leave hail
been granted him. He was told to sad
dle up at once and a guide would take
him 30 miles across country lo the rail
way, where he would catch a coast
bound train, and thus home. Needless
to say the corporal wasted no time,
and a few hours later was kneeling by
his mother's bedside. The sight of her
soldier son had a roost beneficial ef
fect on the old lady, who, although
still very 111, has made a marvelous
rally, thanks to the king, who heeded
her cries.
Readinq the Dictionary.
From Answers.
Mr. Rudyurd Kipling finds both
pleasure and profit In reading the dic
tionary, and this habit largely accounts i
for his wonderful knowledge of words,
his rich vocabulary and his newness
In the use of words. He does not con
fine himself to the ordinary dictionary.
He likes to look at a slang edition or
a dictionary of a dialect.
There Is a certain noble lord who
loves nothing better than turning over
the pages of Bradshaw, spying out all
the ways to anywhere, all the branch
lines, and noting the railway stations
with queer names. He Is an adept in
all railway lore, and is often referred
to by his brother peers when a moot
point la raised about the Iron roads of
the world, for his knowledge extends
from Charing Cross to New York, via
Yokohama.
A great fondness for the Encyclo
pedia Britannica characterizes a well
known and popular novelist. He will
often be found sitting in his delightful
old world garden reading an article on
navigation or aeronautics. He confesses
that generally lie takes down a volume
at random and opens and reads on tho
same principle, only occasionally de
liberately choosing a topic.
But probably the queerest literary
hobby was a certain doctor's predilec
tion for reading an old file of tho
Times. He said it made him better
contented with things at present to see
how things were muddled up 20 years
ago. He found the politicians just as
quarrelsome and the comments just as
caustic, and yet he concluded:
"Here we are, much as usual!”
1 Unique Water Sport.
Wa’king on water by means of water
shoes or ski is not a new sport, but its
periodic reappearance in one form or
another is always attended with in
terest. This time the sport is suggested
by an Italian engineer, who has evolved
an ingenious form of shoe to which lie
gives the name "hydro ski.”
The new water shoes or skis consist
of two pontoons, one for each foot of
the wearer, Just as with the ordinary
water shoes. But the method of propul*
I sion Is decidedly unique and immeas
urably more efficient than that of the
majority of forms introduced in the
past. It has been the general practice
to use ordinary pontoons, which are
manipulated in much the same manner
as skis or snow shoes; that is to say,
first one foot and then the other is
slightly raised and moved forward, re
sulting in a forward motion of the
wearer.
In order to overcome the difficulties
of water walking Heretofore exper
ienced, the present shoes are provided
with two set3 of cross arms to which
paddles are 'itted at their extremities.
One arm is held to one pontoon by
means of a small shaft, while the other
arm is held to the other pontoon in the
same manner. The shafts are not in
alignment, so by an upward nnd for
ward manipulation of each pontoon in
turn the paddle wheel not only serves
to give the necessary hold on the water
but also rotates with sufficient power
to propel the pontoons and their load
forward to a fair rate of speed without
undue exertion on the part of the water
walker. Steering and different maneu
vering is facilitated by the use of a
double paddle.
“Unbelief."
There is no unbelief;
Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod
And waits to see it push away the clod.
He trusts in God.
Whoever says when clouds are in the sky,
"Be patient, heart; light breaketti by
and by.”
Trusts the Most High.
Whoever sees 'neath winter's field of
snow
The silent harvest of the future grow,
God's power must know.
Whoever lies down on his couch to sleep.
Content to lock each sense in slumber
deep.
Knows God will keep.
The heart that lo“ks on when eyelid*
close,
And dares to live when life has woes,
God's comfort knows.
There is no unbelief;
And day by day, unconsciously.
The heart lives by that faith the Up*
deny.
God kno*;cth why!
—Edward Robert Bulwer Lytton.
From the Harvard I.ampoon.
Butcher—Come, John, be lively now;
bleak the bones in Mr. liarcin'* chop*
and put Mr. Smith's ribs in the basket
for him.
John—All right, s;r, Just as soon a* I
have sawed off Mrs. .Murphy's leg.
Butcher—Will you have a round steak,
ma'am?
Mrs. Youngbrlde—I don't care what
shape shape It Is, so It's tender.
From the Munich Fliegemle Blatter.
Butcher—Shall I cut you a pleco from
this plgshead then?
Old I.ady—No, I had rather have some of
the other one—he looks more friendly.
From Judge.
Butcher—And now, ma'am, how will you
have this chicken dressed?
Brlde-of-a-day—Er-uh, I hardly know.
■Would It be too much trouble to show
me what they are wearing this summer?
Entertainment.
Anonymous.
“I understand that Mrs. Flubdub enter
tained some of her neighbors Informally
yesterday.”
“Yes, she and her cook had a quarrel
on the front porch."
MAKING RAPID STRIDES
Canada Improving in Every Way
—Agriculturally, Commercially
and Financially.
The reports coming to hand every
day from all branches of Industry In
Canada spenb highly of the construc
tive ability of that country.
Recently the managing directors of
the Canadian Credit lien’s Associa
tion gave out the statement that busi
ness in Western Canada was good. In
every branch it is better than in 1913,
and everyone will remember that in
that year business was excellent. He
■says:
“The beauty of it Is the way In
which payments nre coming in. Mer
chants all over the West are taking
their cash discounts. Such a transfor
mation I never saw.
“^rom the records in the office I
knew it was getting better. We clear
mere every retail merchant in the coun
try every three months, and we are
therefore in the closest touch and have
intimate knowledge of the way trade
is going and how payments are being
mnde.g Conditions at the present mo
ment nre better than I had dreamed It
was possible that they should be.
“The statements which we are re
ceiving with reference to the standing
of country merchants indicates that
there will be very few failures this ;
*fnll. It Is quite remarkable. Men who
ihnve been behind for years and In the
jbole nre actually paying spot cash for
everything, and taking their cash dis
counts. Banks and loan companies
this fall will have more money than
fliey know what to do with.
“This is about the condition of trade,
jand I am glud to say there is no exag
geration in what I have said. The
business of the prairie provinces is in
splendid condition.”
Crop reports nre also good. From
all parts comes the word that the crop
conditions were never better, and the
(situation at the time of writing is
that there will be fully ns great a
J'ield as in 1015, when the average of
wheat over the entire country was up
wards of 30 bushels per acre. The
harvest therefore will be a heavy one—
and, following the magnificent harvest
of last year, the farmers of Western
jCannda will all be in splendid shape.
Old indebtednesses, much of which
followed them from their old homes,
are being wiped out, improvements are
now - being planned, and additional
acres added to their present holdings.
During the past year there was a
large increuse in the land sales both by
the Canadian Pacific and Canadian
Northern land companies, as well as
by private individuals. A great many
of the purchases were made by farm
ers who thus secured adjoining quar
ters or halves, the best evidence prob
ably that could be had of the value
of Western Canada land when those
who know the country best are adding
'to their holdings. A number of out
siders have also been purchasers, but
very little land has changed hunds for
speculative purposes.
An evidence of the prosperity of the
country is found in the fact that such
a large number of farmers are pur
chasing automobiles.
Alleged hard times in Mnnltoba have
not dampened the ardor of motorists
■or prospective ones. The automobile
llicense department reported a few
days since that there are 1,600 more
private owners of cars in the province
this year than last. The number of
licenses Issued this year was 10,400, as
against 8,800 last year. At an aver
age cost of $1,000 each the newly pur
chased cars represent a total outlay of
^1,600,000, while the total number of
cars in the province are worth approx
imately $10,000,000. The new cnrs are
of modern types.
Many people, for some unexplained
reason, have feared and continue to
fear that this country will experience
a period of Industrial and business
dullness after the war. There seems
!to be no justification for such a specu
lation.
On the contrary, there are sound
reasons for belief in the prediction of
,Mr. Kingman Nott Robins, vice presl
Ident of the Farm Mortgage Bankers’
Association of America, who, in the
^Monetary Times, declares that Canada
'will experience her greatest propor
tionate development in production im
mediately after the conclusion of the
war. The country will certainly have
exceptionally favorable commercial
conditions to take advantage of.
There will be the great need of Eu
rope in the work of reconstruction.
i and along with this, the natural tend
ency of the allies to trade among them
selves, and perhaps special trading
privileges. Mr. Robins points out that
the greatest development in the United
States followed the costly and destruc
tive civil war.
Mr. Robins, in an address before the
Bondmen's Club of Chicago, expressed
the opinion of a far-thinking mind and
the review of an experience of the last
of his numerous trips through the Ca
nadian West. When he said he re
garded the spirit of the Canadian
people, as he found it, the most ad
mirable and encouraging feature of
the entire situation. They are facing
the sacrifices of war courageously and
with calm confidence as to the result,
and in similar spirit they face the eco
nomic future, confident, but expecting
to solve their problems only by dint of
hard and intelligent effort.
An important part of Mr. Robins’
address, which invites earnest atten
tion, is that in which he refers to the
land situation, and when his remarks
are quoted they carry with them the
impression gained by one who has
given the question the careful thought,
of a man experienced in economic ques
tions, and specially those relating to
soil and its production. He is quoted
as saying:
“Agricultural Cannda was never so
prosperous, and Immigration of agri
cultural population both during and
after the war seems a logical expecta
tion, finding support In an increasing
immigration at present from the Unit
ed States, in spite of numerous ca
nards spread broadcast throughout the
United States to discourage emigration
to Cannda. The lands of Western Can
ada, however, as long as they are as
at present the most advantageous for
the settler of any on the continent,
must continue to attract, despite mis
representation, and on the Increase of
Its agricultural and other primarily
productive population depends the eco
nomic future of Canada. All other
problems are secondary to tills, and
the large interests of Canada, recog
nizing tills fact, are preparing to se
cure and hold this population both dur
ing and after the war. They are con
tent to let city development and other
secondary phases and superstructure
follow in natural course. This recog
nition of the true bnsls of economic
development is an encouraging augury
for the future.”
“The war has brought the United
States and Canada nearer together
economically than ever before. The
total investment of United States capi
tal in Canadn doubtless exceeds $1,000,
000,000, of which $300,000,000 has been
invested since the war began. Except
for Great Britain, Canada Is the Unit
ed States’ best customer. Our exports
to all of South America in the last
three years were less than a third of
our exports to Canada in the same pe
riod, although Canada has been rigidly
reducing her imports since the war be
gan. Even France, a good customer
of the United States, bought $70,000,
000 less than Canada during 1913, 1914,
1915. And yet Canada’s purchasing
power Is in the first stages of develop
ment only. It has been estimated that
the United States can support a popu
lation of 600,000,000. Using the same
basis of calculation in reference to nat
ural resources, Canada can support a
population of 400,000,000.
“Canada is potentially the most pop
ulous, and, in primary production, at
least, the richest unit of the British
empire, and It behooves us In the Unit
ed States to know our Canada.”
The socinl conditions throughout
Western Canada are everything that
could be desired. Schools have been
established in all districts where there
may be ten or twelve children of school
age, and these are largely maintained
by liberal government grants. A fund
for this purpose is raised from the
revenue derived from the sale of school
land, one-eighteenth of all lands being
set aside as school lands. All the
higher branches of education are cared
for, there being high schools at all
important centers, and colleges and
universities in the principal cities.
The different religious denomina
tions prevail, each having its separate
church, and religious services are held
in every hamlet and village, and in
far-off settlements the pastor finds na
attentive congregation. The rural tele
phone is one of the great modern con
veniences that brings the farm home
nearer to the market.
It is not saying too much to state
that in matters of social importance,
in the most remote settlements they
carry with them the same influence as
is to be found in the most prosperous
farming districts of any of the states
of the Union.—Advertisement.
Meaning Business.
"The American girl means business.”
The speaker was Miss Alberta Hill,
the courageous and popular New York
suffragette. She went on:
“She is quite right, too. I know an
American girl whose two weeks at the
shore a pale young man in a blazer
tried to monopolize.
“ 'What is the meaning of platonic
affection?’ he asked her, one evening on
the board walk.
r “ ‘Its usual meaning,’ she answered,
‘Is that the chap who talks about It
is either too poor or too stingy to get
married.’ ”—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Therf Are Others.
J “It is very strange that no one has
ever been able to find Captain Kidd’s
treasure.”
“Oh, well, Cnptain Kidd isn’t the
only man, who has put his money into
real estate and couldn’t get it out”
Perfect
Stella—The ostrich doesn't see much
and digests everything.
Bella—What on Ideal husband!
Her Motive.
“Mercy sakes!” exclaimed the caller.
“What dreadful language that parrot
uses! How can you ever stand it?”
“Oh, I bought him to reform him,”
replied the lady of the house.
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