— .— — ■■ . .- . ■ ■" .. — '■ - ■" ■ ' ■■
I
1
■
SPARKLES OF WIT.
Randall—I just borrowed five dol
lars from a friend.
Rogers—Give me his address quick
ilandall—Why'
Rogers—A man who would lend
money to you would lend it to anyone
Miss Flyete—When Jack proposed
to me last night he acted like a
regular fool.
Miss Blunt—Naturally! He was do
ing a very foolish thing.
Invalid—I’d like to see the pro
prietor of this sanitarium.
Clerk—He has gone away, sir, foi
his health!
Painted Over.
She—I hear that Jack has a neve
girl.
He—No, that’s just his old one
painted over.
Enthusiastic Lady—Oh, sir, may we
tarry here awhile and drink deep oi
these rural delights ?
Practical Native—Can’t drink noth,
in’ deep here lady. This yere’s a drj
town.
“If a man has the price he can gel
anything he wants and the way he
wants it.”
“Don’t know about that. There’s
the medium soft-boiled egg.”
Where They Differed.
After suffering a long time with the
toothache the young colored girl go
up her courage enough to go to the
dentist. The moment he touched the
tooth she began to scream .
“Look here,” he said, “you musn’
yell like that. Do’t you know I’m i
painless dentist?”
“Well, mebbe yo’ is painless sah,’
she said, “but Ah ain’t.”
Rather Rough.
“Here’s hard luck.”
“What’s that?”
• “Flubdub’s wife wants him to pa;
the income tax on the alimony he give
her.”
Judge—Why did you commit a sec
ond theft after you had just been ac
quitted of the first one?
Prisoner—I had to pay my lawyei
your honor.
The Woman Of It.
“What are you going to do whe
you grow up, Annitte ? asked one littl
girl of another .
“Marry some silly man, I suppose,
was the reply, “like most other wc
men.”
Wife: “How shall I know when h
has passed the crisis?”
Doctor: “Talk baseball and see i
he asks what the score is.”
Gladys: “He claims he is a decer
dant from a great family.”
Tom: “Yes, and he is still descent
ing.”
Happy Eden.
Olden Eden’s garden was a place
Where man could rest contented;
No phonographs squealed all night
long—
They hadn’t been invented.
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Old Eden’s garden was a place
Where man could rest contented;
No fivvers dashed round all day long—
They hadn’t been invented.
—Bettie H. McDonald.
Wuff.
A woman was kicked on the chin by
a mule, causing her to bite off the end
of her tongue, and her husband sev
eral times since refused an offer of
$1,000 for the mule.
It Sure Would.
“I have here an invention which, if
universally adopted, would put an end
to the horrors of war.”
“You don’t say so! What is it?”
“A nonexplosive gunpowder.”
Bookkeeper: “If I asked the boss
to raise my salary, what do you thinl
he would say?”
Stenographer: “Mr. Pen. er, I am a
lady—I never even think such things.’
Haul Manure When Fresh.
When possible, it is profitable for
the farmer to dump his stable manure
into a manure spreader and haul it
directly to the field as often as it is
full. The College of Agriculture says
! that a man who will haul to the field
' will average 29* minutes in handling
1 each spreaderful. As ordinarily
1 handled, a man can haul but 12 loads
in nine hours at the rate of 50 minutes
' a load.
1 In addition to the saving of time and
labor, fresh manure brings to the soil
DOWNWARD COURSE.
Fast Being Realized by O’Neill People.
A little backache at first.
' Daily increasing till the back is lame
* and weak.
Urinary disorders may quickly fol
low;
Dropsy and often Bright’s disease.
This frequently is the downward
course of kidney ills.
, Don’t take this course. O’Neill resi
dents should profit by the following
experience.
Mrs. E. E. Dewey, Neligh, Neb.,
i says: “My trouble was of a dropsi
3 cal nature. I had a severe attack. My
face became so badly swollen that I
’ could hardly see. My limbs, feet and
- hands also swelled and I could not
wear my shoes. One of the family had
used Doan’s Kidney Pills and had
e been very effective, so I got some.
They soon made an improvement and
f before I had taken one box. the swell
ing had disappeared.”
Price 50c, at all dealers. Don’t
- simply ask for a kidney remedy—get
| Doan’s Kidney Pills—the same that
. Mfs. Dewey had. Foster-Milburn Co.,
j Props., Buffalo, N. Y.
a large amount of plant food, since
bleaching and losses by destructive fer
mentation are avoided. Besides, the
farmstead is relieved of breeding
places for flies and disease germs, as
well as unpleasant odors.
State Money For Irrigation.
Some of the funds appropriated by
the last state legislature for the en
couragement of pumping irrigation,
which was left to the disposal of the
regents of the University of Nebraska
are still available. According to the
provisions of the bill, the money may
be received by any responsible indi
vidual or organization in the western
section of the state who will contribute
a like amount of his or their own
funds. When the plant is complete
and the well has proven to be a suc
cess, the contribution from the state
is to be returned. If the well is not a
success, the machinery is to be sold
and the proceeds divided equally.
Winter Work Suggestions.
One of the farmers’ most trouble
some problems is the equalization of
'abor throughout the year. Among
the suggestions given to the students
at the College of Agriculture for win
ter work are the following: Repair
each piece of farm machinery, make
tools and do other carpenter and re
"air work, oil and repair harness, haul
manure, sharpen all tools, sharpen
mower sickles, sharpen posts for
"ences, prune orchard and other trees,
dean seed, repair buildings (particu
'arly inside work), and market grain
and hay.
Where cows freshen in the fall, the
'arger care in milking them and car
mg for their calves comes during the
winter months.
TEST SEED CORN.
Especially Necessary This Year to
Determine Vitality of Seed in Ad
vance of Planting Season.
Testing seed corn for germination—
always a profitable farm practice—-is
an absolute necessity this year in many
sections. In a number of districts the
last corn crop from which seed for the
coming planting will be taken was late
in maturing or so moist when harvest
ed as to call for special attention. A
high moisture content makes seed corn
narticularly susceptible to damage
from freezing or heating. Farmers in
the sections where corn failed to ripen
normally who do not test their seed
early enough to be able to replace their
own bad seed with good seed secured
from other sources will be taking an
unnecessary risk. It is also especially
important for holders of seed in such
districts to take unusual care during
the remainder of the winter to protect
it from freezing.
While complete testing for germina
tion should take place shortly before
the seed is planted, the specialists of
the United States agricultural de
partment believes that it will be
simply forehandedness for farmers
who have any reason to be doubtful
about the viability of their seed to
make a preliminary germanating test
with a few typical ears taken at ran
dom from the rack. If these prelimi
nary tests show that the seed is good,
the owner then can continue his pre
cautions to guard it from weather
damage. If, however, this test with a
few ears indicate that the seed is of
low vitality, the farmer should at once
make further tests to satisfy himself
as to whether his seed corn generally
is good or bad.
If a farmer finds his seed is bad he
should take steps at once to meet the
difficulty. The purchase of seed should
not be delayed till spring, especially
when so much corn in various sections
has been damaged. The farmer should
secure his seed from wellknown sour
ces, buy it upon a germinating guar
anty basis, and get his seed o-r typical
samples early enough to make his own
germinating tests. It is probable this
year that many farmers who have not
followed the wise practice of selecting
enough special seed from good crops
tu mat tiieiu in an emergency lur iwu
or three years will have to buy seed.
In buying seed, farmers should try to
secure corn of varieties known to pros,
per in their section. The safest seed
would be that carefully selected from
good corn grown in the immediate
neighborhood, but at any rate effort
should be made to obtain seed grown
in districts where climate, soil, and
farming conditions in general are
similar to those at home.
If the farmer happens to have a
stock of seed left over from the 1914
crop and doubts the seed saved from
his 1915 crop, he would do well to test
the old seed also and then use which
ever shows the greater vitality. Seed
corn if properly cared for will retain
its vitality for several years. Many
farmers knowing this always select an
extra amount of seed from an un
usually good harvest.
The following method of testing
seed corn is taken from Farmers’ Bul
’etin 704. The corn is placed on dry
ing racks made by driving wire finish
ing nails about 4 inches apart on four
sides of a stick. A number is placed
over the nail and the butts of the ears
are nut on the nails. If wire fencing
or other seed racks are used, the ears
can be numbered in other ways.
In single ear testing, two kernels
from opposite sides of the ear on the
top, two from the middle, and two
from the butt are put in numbered
squares or portions of germinating
boxes or other testers. The kernels
are kept moist at a room temperature
not above 90 degrees F nor below 50
degrees F. After six or seven days
the seed should begin to sprout. Only
fhose ears from which all the kernels
"•ive strong sprouts should be reserved
lor inaming.
Under ordinary circumstances, it
may not be absolutely necessary to
t-est everv individual ear. If a large
"umber of typical ears show germina
ting tests as high as 97 per cent, the
seed in general may be considered
•mod. Under the unusual conditions
m-evai’ing this year, especially in
neighborhoods where the corn did not
mature normally, it should well repay
a corn grower to test every ear that
be intends to use for seed. If he has
anv reason to doubt the quality of his
individual stock, the ear-by-ear testing
;s simply a form of labor and crop in
surance.
Before testing germination, the
farmer should examine each ear and
throw out all the ears which do not
'ook right or which have several
withered or damaged kernals. He
should strive to make up his seed from
3ars which in size and appearance seem
to be normal for his variety of corn.
Seed corn should be shelled if possible
by hand to avoid the risk of damage
bv mechanical shelling. Before shell
ing the owner should pick out peculiar
looking kernals and separate the seed
into sizes so as to make certain that
the corn drill will plant regularly.
Will Entertain Kensington.
The Misses Howe and Barnard will
entertain the Kensington at the new
Methodist church tomorrow evening,
January 28. A ten cent lunch will be
served and a district school program
rendered. Everyone is cordially in
vited to attend.
W. C. T. U. COLUMN.
Edited by the Ladies of the Local
W. C. T. U.
The Glory of Being Alive.
On a bleak bold hill, with a bold world
under,
The dreary world of the common
place,
I have stood when the whole world
seemed a blunder
Of dotard time in an aimless race.
With worry about me and want before
me,
Yet deep in my soul was a rapture
spring,
That rrtade me cry to the gray sky o’er
me,
Oh, I know this life is a goodly thing.
I have given sweet years to a thank
less duty,
When cold and starving, tho clothed
and fed,
For a young heart’s hunger for joy
and beauty
Is harder to bear than the need of
bread.
1 have watched the wane of a sodden
season
Which let hope wither and made
care thrive,
And through it all without earthly
reason
I have thrilled with the glory of be.
ing alive.
And I know, too, that not in the seeing
Or having or doing the things we
would
Lies that deep rapture that comes
from being
At one with the purpose that makes
all good
And not from pleasure the harp may
borrow
That vast contentment from which
we strive,
Unless through trouble and want and
sorrow
It has thrilled with the glory of be- :
ing alive. 1
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
The Flag .
Is it, then, only a tricolored rag,
As the street-corner orators say
of it ? 1
Maybe it isn’t worth loving—the flag,
For all of the pomp and display of it;
But though I grow cynical, callous,
and wise.
I cannot think lightly or ill of it;
Whenever, wherever, it comes to my
eyes
I feel all the glamour and thrill
of it.
The toil of the hand that have
wrought for it,
The blood of the soldiers that fought
for it,
Are part of its wonderful story,
This banner unfurled to the winds of
the world, I
Old Glory!
Maybe it isn’t worth loving at all,
The red and the blue and the white
of it; •
Maybe “Tradition” has got me in
thrall '
When I grow proud at the sight of it; 1
Still, when that banner is flung to the ’
breeze,
How the heart warms to the gleam
of it! 1
Still, when you’re sailing on far-away ]
seas, i
How you can long for and dream £
of it! ;
How can you censure our pride for it? ,
Thousands have struggled and died -
for it, ]
Weaving its marvelous story, ,
This banner unfurled to the winds of ]
the world, j
Old Glory! j
—Berton Braley.'
Brief News Notes.
Citizens of Wirt, Ok., in the Heldton ;
oil field, Monday asked Gov. Williams t
to send the state militia there to take j
charge of the situation resulting from j
a fire which, at 11:30 Monday morn- i
ing, virtually destroyed the business i
and residence sections of the town
leaving 1000 persons homeless. (
- <
Francisco Villa, the Mexican chief, j
was at El Carmen, near Madera, a <
week ago, according to Mexican em- <
ployees of the Pearson ranch, who ar. \
rived in El Paso, Tex., Monday. The -
employees declared that Villa issued ]
an order to his men at Rubio to kill all
Americans, and in order to make sure
of not missing any, to kill all
foreigners.
It is now admitted in official circles
in Jefferson City that there will be
nearly $2,500,000 in unpaid appropria
tions made by the Forty-eighth
General Assembly of Missouri at the
end of the biennial period of 1915 and
1916. The Legislature, which was
given an estimate of $11,500,000 by
the state auditor as the total of ex
pected revenues from all sources for
the biennial period, appropriated a
total of $16„478,275, or a sum $4,
973,275 in excess of the estimated re
ceipts into the revenue fund.
President Wilson has declared his
willingness to face the utmost of
criticism that his political opponents
may direct at him, and challenged the
opposition to do their worst in attack
ing him, upon his Mexican policy, his
foreign policy, or on personal grounds
The president’s utterance was made to
a friend who had called his attention
to a recent wide-spread criticism of
the administration. Wilson declared
that the republicans were welcome to
produce every charge they intended to
make against him. He indicated that
he not only has no thought of flinching
from these attacks, nor of trying in
any way to avoid this cumulative
criticism, but rather that he welcomes
it. His remarks, while not reported in
a fashion that permits their quotation,
gave the impression that the president
has his fighting blood up.
An appeal to the people of the
United States to organize in support
of a systematic national defense was
voiced by Lindley M. Garrison, secre
tary of war, in an address Monday
night at the annual banquet of the
bankers of New York Gity. Secretary
Garrison declared that the opposition
to national defense was well organized
and that unless the people of the
country urged upon Congress that
they desired adequate national defense,
the present system, which the speaker
said was “utterly inefficient,” would be
retained. National defense, the secre
tary said, must rest upon national
forces. Unity of responsibility, au
ihority and control were the essential
principles of all military afairs, he
said. A real millitary policy, Secre
,ory Garrison asserted, must be conti
lential in scope and the Federal Gov
srnment must be in authority. All
iroposals to build a military system
'or the United States upon the basis
>f state troops were proposals to con
.inue a situation that is “illusory and
lot real, that is a sham and not sub
stantial, that is a mockery and not
lonest.”
Col. E. M. House, President Wilson’s
lersonal representative, has left Lon
lon for the Continent, according to the
rimes.
Frank Guinn and J. J. Beall, Okla
loma farmers, who, as election offi
;ials, were convicted in the federal
;ourts of intimidating voters under
;he grandfather clause of the consti
tution, have 1 een pardoned by Presi
lent Wilson.
The German Reichstag has unani
nously passed a resolution favorinp
he reduction of the age limit in the
•use of cld age pensions from 70 to
>5 years.
At Pittsburg, Pa., Joseph Gliders
s dead and John Kusius is in a serious
■ondition following a wager between
.he two men in their boarding house
n Primrose, a mining settlement near
Pittsburg, as to which could drink the
rreatest amount of whiskey. The two,
joth Russians, are said to have agreed
hat the loser should enlist for service
n the European war. Onders drank
'our quarts and was about to open his
ifth bottle when he fell unconscious,
lying in a few minutes. Kusius drain,
■d three quarts and is in the care of a
ihysician.
A third of the city of Bergen, a
hriving Norwegian seaport, with a
lopulation of 90,000 is in ruins as a
esult of a fire. Two thousand per
ons are homeless. The property dam
ige is estimated at $16,000,000. The
onflagration is said to have been the
vorst ever recorded in Norway. The
msiness section, with its old whole
;ale houses,several of the larget of the
lotels, a number of schools, the electric
ilant and banks and newspaper build
ngs were burned.
Several thousand former Villa sold
ers, with women and children, left
!aurez, Mexico, opposite El Paso, Tex,,
donday for the south. Under the
erms of the amnesty granted by Car
anza, they have been paid the equiv
lent of $10 gold each and provided
vith transportation to their homes,
vith the understanding that they will
■eturn to peaceful life. The train
onsisted of more than sixty box cars.
>ome of the travelers who could not
ind room in or on top of the cars rode
n the rods underneath. They stretch
id hay-baling wire across the rods
o support blankets and bedding, on
vhich they reclined—men women and
mlf clad children.
Read The Frontier; it gives all the
MEWS AND ALL THE TIME.
One
Safe Home
Match
will light all four burners.
The stick is large and
strong. The flame “takes
hold.”
We do not exaggerate when we
say that you can get as much real
service from three Safe Home
Matches as from five ordinary |
matches.
They are non-poisonous, too..
For that reason alone they should
be in every home in America.
5c. All grocers.
Ask for them by name.
The Diamond Match
Company \