- - -—
second, after she is married, to find
out that her husband has been unfaith
Queer Quirks of News.
Dothan, Ala.—An Atlantic Coast
liner train pulled into Jakin, Ga., with
no hand guiding her and the engineer
in a dead faint. I. P. Dickey, thc
engineer, recently recovered from a
serious illness and took out the train
It is believed the engine ran for miles
before the engineer’s condition was
discovered by the fireman.
Cobleskill, N. Y.—Charles W. Kar
ker has two colts which he keeps in a
waterless pasture. When the colts get
dry they ring a bell placed on thi
fence, and someone brings water to
them.
Brooklyn, N. Y.—The neighborhood
of Columbia street was suddenly
aroused at midnight by shrill screams
of “Help! Murder! Police!” and Mr.
and Mrs. G. Basile and three small
children awoke to find their tenement
on fire. The screams came from
Basile’s pet parrott.
Kinston, N. C.—That the present
high cost of living is a joke is shown
by prices of foodstuffs contained in a
copy of the Aemrican Record, printed
at Washington, N. C. in 1815. Flour
was priced at that time at $23 a bar
rel; nails at 16 cents a pound; sugar
at 35 cents a pound; pork $13 a barrel
and whiskey at only 75 cents a gallon
London, Eng.—Frederick Burton,
one of London’s most pathetic hermits,
js dead. When his sweetheart’s father
forbade their marriage, Burton swore
never to inhabit a house, sleep in a
bed or shave himself. He lived in a
cave for 50 years. The man the girl
married, at her father’s wish, squan
dered her fortune, kicked her to death
and paid the penalty on the gallows.
Hollister, Mo.—D. E. Rogers, a mer
chant of Tauria, Mo., adopted a garter
snake which he found lying under a
stove in his store. The snake pays foi
his board and keep by keeping the
place entirely free from rats.
St. Joe, Ind.—Walter Baker of this
place has presented The News with a
freak egg which has Calumbus’ famed
one beaten to a frazzle for standing on
end. Whenever the egg is put on its
side it immediately takes an upright
position resting on the small end.
Liverpool, Eng.—Corporal Robert
Beck, a former motorcycle policeman
of Chicago, was shot through the head
Uncle Jud's Lyrical Monologue on
Buying At Home First.
Prophets often without honor are where
they should be best known;
Some goods seem more attractive when
a foreign label’s shown;
PU admit mail order catalogues will
oft beget a wish,
For one must use a shining bait to lure
the wary fish;
But if you really knew which side your
bread was buttered on,
You’d do your trading here at home
with Hank or Bill or John;
You’d find their goods were honest,
and you wouldn’t have to wait—
So why not patronize your friends who
don’t charge any freight ?
These other merchants out of town,
do you suppose they eare
A jitney for the little burg, or even di
their share
Towards building roads, supporting
schools, or paying in their tax ?
No more than do the peddlers with
their little cheap-john packs;
Their only interest in you is quite
pecuniary;
With your dollar in their pocket you
can go to—Tipperary.
Just think of this next time before you
go and shop by mail,
And give Prosperity a chance to camp
upon your trail.
"See and Examine.” "Safety First.”
Let these your slogans be
Give them a chance, and home town
goods will suit you to a T.
Tell The Salesman.
With the approach of the fall sea
son, the big jobbers and manufactur
ers will begin to send out their sales
men. Many of Jiese salesmen are go
ing to call on you, Mr. Retailer.
Here are a few suggestions by which
you might open the conversation with
them:
Ask them what they will do to help
you sell the goods they want you t >
buy.
Ask them if their firm is going to
advertise their goods in the news
papers of your city. If they reply No.
ask them why not?
Tell them that it is necessary for
them to create the demand in your
city, among your customers, for then
line of goods; otherwise you cannot
push their line in preference to those
manufacturers or jobbers who do
create this demand.
Tell them the best way to create the
demand is to advertise in the local
newspapers; that your customers read
the newspapers published here; that
you yourself advertise in them; and
that you are not willing to spend your
money to make their particular brands
popular in this town and later have
them take the lhe away from you and
give it to your competitor.
Tell them that you favor goods
which are advertise 1 in your local
newspapers because you find it more
profitable to do so.
This is a mighty good hand to hold.
It should be a stand-pat one.
“In the final analysis,” said the
cynic, “woman has two life ambitions.
The first is to get married, and the
gome |§) Qrnaha
afl /Iksarben Festivities
v Sept. 2 9 th to Oct. 9 th
You>M Find A Most Hearty Welcome Awaiting You
i,tii a» o..i„ —i
Bargain Center.
The Store
of the
Quality
Guarantee
We’re Ready—Splendidly Ready
To supply your every need for Fall and Winter.
Season 'IS and '16 with merchandise of quality
which we stand ready to back with our guar
antee of
•
Satisfaction to the Buyer
Among the many splendid Special Sale
offerings arranged for Ak-Sar-Ben visitors
you’ll find the
Two Here Illustrated
Becoming Silk Velvet
Fur Trimmed Hats oa
An Ak-Sar-Ben Special ^ %3 • =====
Ihe illustration shows a very beautiful
model of fine quality Silk Velvet, finished
with a Taffeta French edge. It is artis
tically trimmed with fur, and with an
imported steel ornament, and with white
chenile worked over the crown—you have
your choice of black,
brown, navy, purple or C QA
green in this model at
And it is only one of
hundreds just as classy which we are
showing specially at this price.
Ask to See Them and Mention this Paper.
Other Trimmed Hats Shown at
Prices from $1.98 to $50.00
Untrimmed Silk Velvet Hats at Prices
from 98c to $15.00
This Classy
Tailored Suit
Well worth ^
25- $18M
•We have them for you
in the nobby model illus
trated or in the popular
belted effect, in fine broad
cloths, poplins or gabar
dines, trimmed at collar
and cuffs with beaver or marten fur, and
with rows of silk braid around bottom of
coat—your choice of black,
blue, brown or green in all $ 1 O 75
sizes, 16 to 44, special at =
When You Ask to See Them Mention This Paper.
Scores of other splendid garment values
shown Ak-Sar-Ben Week. Assortments so
broad that the most particular buyer can
make a satisfactory selection and at a saving.
LET US WELCOME YOU AND DEMONSTRATE
WHY, THE GREAT MAJORITY SAY
** HAYDEN'S X
s im mui mmm nsrHi^i msm mm isniiiSfi ism fsnE
| O, LOOK 1 '
I VHII’S H RE |
3 Opera House 3 Nights Starting Thursday, ^
p October 7
H Cheese - - Lister Theatre Conr\pai\y
I New People, New Scenery, New Specialties, New
Music.
| 4 Big V0L\ideville Acts Every Night 4
Opening Play on Thursday Night.
H The Sensational Comedy Drama,
1 “ Sue
| Prices, 25c, 35c, 50c. Seats Sold at Pixley’s
ggSit^Pg^l;S^irgBilS!ilSSili!gllg!aF|ig!g!SIIB”'g
while dispatch riding in Flanders and
lost his speech and hearing. While
recuperating he visited a moving
picture show, where he rocked with
laughter at a comic film and at the
end exclaimed “Gee, that’s funny.”
He has been speaking since without
trouble.
Sterling, Colo.—A. H. King comes
forward with this automobile story for
the truth of which he vouches. He
says, after a fishing trip, he started
home and ran out of gasoline. He
filled up his tank with some fresh milk
which had been given him by a farm
er’s wife, and came into town with
colors flying. His friends say the ex
periment was so successful that the
car not only ran beautifully, but he
took a pound and a half of butter out
of the carburetor when he got home
London, Eng.—Private W. Chamb
ers, a Canadian whose sight had been
destroyed from the shell fire at
Ypres, was a passenger on the Hes
perian. “I was stone blind,” he said,
“and the shock came as I was getting
into bed. I came to my senses when I
was being lowered into a boat. The
boat upset and I was thrown into the
water, then suddenly went wild with
delight for I found my sight had been
restored.”
London, Eng.—The bombardment of
Tehesmeh by a British warship re
suited in one causalty. The ears of a
donkey were shaved off as clean as s
razor could have done the work. Bus
iness being slack, the owner of the
donkey charged admission and “cleanec
up.”
Cheyanne, Wyo.—In reaching for
what he supposed to be a dry stick
Guy Robinson, a tourist, picked up a
live rattlesnake. The snake coiled
about his arm, but Robinson retained
his grasp on the repitiles neck, until
it was killed by his wife. ^
Marmarah, N. D.—While playing on
the railroad track, the 2-year-oftfv
daughter of a section foreman was ^
knocked down by a switch engine and
five cars passed over her without in
juring her.
Limericks of Infelicity.
A lady as proud as old Lucifer
Is tired of her husband’s abucifer.
She says she will see
If she ever get free
Love doesn’t again make a gucifer.
■ -. ^
=====— =£[
_S/.LD
As we have rented our farm and are moving to town we will sell the follow- A
mg described property at our place, 8 miles north and 6 east of O’Neill and one
mile west of Opportunity, on
Thursd’y* 0 L14 '
’ Commencing Promptly at 10 A. M.
230 Hee^d of Cattle
;i Eighteen head of No 1 milch cows; 12 steers 2 years old, coming 3; 36 I
steers 1 year old, coming 2; 45 early spring calves; 16 cows with calves by their
side; 12 heifers 2 years old, coming 3; 30 heifers 1 year old, coming 2; 41 cows
from 3 to 6 years old; 4 Thoroughbred Hereford Bulls, 2 pedigreed.
12 Head of Horses
One span gray mares coming 3 and 4 years old, weight 2300; 1 span bav
geldings coming 3 and 4, weight 2200; 1 span bay mares, 9 and 10 years old
weJgm ?200; 1 span mares 4 years old, weight 2350; 1 black mare 3 years old
weight lo00; 1 span of colts 2 years old; 1 mule coming 2 years old- 1 saddle
pony 5 years old.
185 Head Pure-bred Duroc Jersey Hogs • , ||
CToven brood sows; 74 shoats, all pureW.-_____
-FARNTMACH IN ERY>DeE eli’s, one nearly fttt
, SiSf %S«£k?^2few*a = 1
<**?■ mention. --%
I BERCER BROS., Owners. L