Nebraska Newspapers

    FARMER’S WIFE
v TOO ILLTO WORK
A Weak, Nervous Sufferer
Restored to Health by Ly
dia £. Pinkham’s Veg
etable Compound.
A ——
Kasota, Minn. — “I am glad to say
that Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound has done
more for me than
’ anything else, and I
had the best physi
cian here. I was so
weak and nervous
that I could not do
my work and suf
fered with pains low
down in my right
side for a year or
more. I took Lydia
E. Pinkham’s Vege
table Compound, and now I feel like a
different person. I believe there is
nothing like Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vege
table Compound for weak women and
young girls, and I would be glad if I
could influence anyone to try the medi
cine, for I know it will do all and much
more than it is claimed to do.” — Mrs.
Clara Franks, U. F. D. No. 1, Maple
crest Farm, Kasota, Minn.
Women who suffer from those dis
tressing ills peculiar to their sex should
be convinced of the ability of Lydia E.
Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound to re
store their health by the many genuine
and truthful testimonials we are con
w Btantly publishing in the newspapers.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia E. Finkham’s Vegeta
ble Compound will help you,write
to Lydia E.PinkhamMedicineCo.
(confidential) Lynn, Mass., for ad
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman,
and held in strict confidence.
ICrJaU'“DEVELOPING
IVOaaKS and PRINTING
Send for Catalogue and Finishing Price List,
i MMMERMAN BROTHERS. 60S Fierce St.. Sioux City, la
'I SIOUX CITY PTG. CO., NO 19-1915^
HAVE PROVED THEIR METTLE
Soldiers of the Present Day Show
Bravery at Least Equal to That
of Their Forebears.
All the rules have gone smash in
the war. There’s an old one in the
British army that you ought to begin
to look to retreat when ten per cent of
the men are down. In ours it is 15.
In all armies It is either 10 or 15. Brit
ish regiments have stuck when 60
per cent were out. German and
French regiments have continued
charging when only a handful were
still alive or unwounded. Men have
never fought so bravely as in this war.
The idea that humanity Wa3 getting
soft was the most ridiculous piffle that
ever emanated from a "knocker” of
the good old human race.
In the old times you fought for a
few hours and the battle was over. If
you were uncertain of your courage,
you took a drink before you charged.
Now you fight day after day; you face
the enemy in apprehension that any
moment a shell may bury you alive or
eviscerate you. Hand grenades are
V tossed back and forth like bouquets.
" It’s a war of nerves, and in this age
of nerves the highly civilized and or
ganized man is standing what would
utterly demoralize a savage.—Freder
ick Palmer in Collier’s Weekly.
Just because a girl marries a fellow
is no sign 6he loves him. There may
be some other "hussy" she wants to
make jealous.
I IN A SHADOW
* Tea Drinker Feared Paralysis.
Steady use of either tea or coffee
often produces alarming symptoms,
as the poison (caffeine) contained in
these beverages acts with more po
tency in some persons than in others.
“I was never a coffee drinker,”
writes an 111. woman, “but a tea drink
er. I was very nervous, had frequent
spells of sick headache and heart
trouble, and was subject at times to
severe attacks of bilious colic.
“No end of sleepless nights—would
have spells at night when my right
side would get numb and tingle like a
thousand needles were pricking my
flesh. At times I could hardly put my
tongue out of my mouth and my right
eye and ear were affected.
“The doctors told me to quit using
tea, but I thought I could not live with
out it—that it was my only stay. I
had been a tea drinker for twenty-five
years; was under the doctor's care for
fifteen.
“About six months ago, I finally quit
tea and commenced to drink Postum.
. “I have never had one spell of sick
• headaches since and only one light
attack of bilious colic. Have quit hav
ing those numb spells at night, sleep
well and my heart is getting stronger
all the time.”
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
I Creek, Mich. Head “The Hoad to
J Wellville,” in pkgs.
I Po6tum comes in two forms:
Postum Cereal—the original form—
must be well boiled. 15c and 25c pack
ages
Instant Postum—a soluble powder
dissolves quickly in a cup of hot wa
ter, ana. with cream and sugar, makes
a delicious beverage instantly, 30c and
EOc tins.
, Both kinds are equafly delicious and
V cost about the tame per cup.
“There’s a Reason” for Postum.
' ■ —sold by Grocer*.
9
! A RUSSIAN CHIEF ONCE NAILED HIS SHIELD
| TO GATE OF COSTANTINOPLE —YEAR 907
When the last Moslem soldier has
fired his last shot in the defense of
Constantinople and the troops of the
allies march in triumph to the sublime
porte, somewhere in the Russian con
tingent of that procession will be car
ried a round steel shield, a replica of
^he kind Slav warriors used 10 cen
turies ago.
The shield of Oleg will have come
back to the resting place that doughty
warrior king won for it ages ago!
In the legend of Oleg’s shield the
Russian of today finds the earliest sub
stantiation for his claim that the czar
fhould rule in Constantinople. Oleg
,ed his hordes down the rivers of the
Black sea in 007 A. D. Constantinople
was asliiyer. It was besieged for
weeks. I.ike the wolves of his native
forests. Oleg snapped at the city's
outer defenses. He swept everything
aside except the main wall. There the
wave of Russians was halted. Hut not
before Oleg had nailed his shield to
the city's golden gate and wrung from
Leo VI,' a descendant of the Isaurian
adventurer who won the Byzantine
throne two centuries before, a promise
of tribute.
The shield hung where Oleg had
nailed It until Byzantium had recouped
its strength and announced Itself free
of Russian overlordship.
Since then no Russian soldier has
hammered at the gates of Constan
tinople. Byzantine mercenary and
Turkish Janissary have stopped him in
all his many lunges at the golden
horn.
But the Russian never forgot! The
The tale of Oleg and his shield has
come down from father to son through
all the generations of 10 centuries. It
was the symbol that Russia's dream of
CIVILIZATION IS DOOM
OF EARLY MARRIAGES
Four Seasons Advanced By Ex
pert Telling Why Weddings
Late In Life Are Increasing.
Marguerite Mooers Marshall, in the New
York Evening World.
"The early marriage is doomed. I
«ee no hope for it. Every force, im
pulse and tendency of modern civiliza
tion la against it. Instead of helping
young people to marry, society puts in
their way all the obstacles it can de
vise. Our whole attitude toward mar
riage and parenthood is anti-social,
anti-moral—in fact, there is no word
Btrong enough fitly to characterize It.
That is how Dr. Scott Nearing of
the University of Pennsylvania and one
of the leading authorities on social and
economic questions In the United
States replies to what is charged by
Prof. Roswell H. Johnson of the Uni
versity of Pittsburgh, that the health
and intellectual standing of America
are being menaced by late marriages.
"Encouraging late marriages in the
false hope of getting more intelligent
offspring will hasten a danger toward
which this country is already drifting
at an alarming rate,” said Professor
Johnson. Then he offered up the
usual scapegoat: “The failure of col
lege women to marry and have children
is killing off some of our best racial
itock," he solemnly averred.
Doctor Nearing an Authority.
If anyone in America is competent
to analyze the problem of our procras
tinated marriages that person is Dr.
Nearing. Before he was 30 he had to
Ms credit half a dozen volumes, each
9f them a valuable contribution to the
•erious social thought of the day. In
it least two, “Woman and Social Prog
ress” and “The Super-Race," he gives
admirable expression to the new ideals
of marriage and parenthood. When I
talked with him in his home he didn’t
merely denounce the steady tendency
to put off the wedding day—he ex
plained it.
“There are at least four causes far
the decrease in early marriages.” he
laid. “First, we have the unwilling
ness of the thoughtful, educated woman
to marry unless she can find an A-l
man. He is a scarce article. Then,
there is the modern young man's re
luctance to marry a woman who is
merely a parasite, a sponge who will
not co-operate actively with him in the
marriage relationship. Thirdly, there
Is the abominable economic situation,
(n which the ruling wage is that needed
by the single worker rather than by
Ihe married one. And. fourthly, there
is the feeling shared by no inconsid
erable proportion of young men and
women that marriage is a trap, a
prison, from which, once entered, es
cape is impossible or possible only
after a severe struggle."
uoesn t Diamo college burls.
"I'm glad you don't put all the blame
on the college woman." I remarked. I
nad felt sure he wouldn’t, for his wife
Is a graduate of Bryn Mawr with a
master's degree from Pennsylvania.
Also he has taught for several years in
a. coeducational unversity.
He mentioned that last fact and add
ed, conclusively: "It isn’t that col
lege girls don't want to marry. It Js
that they don’t want to marry until
they find the right man. They have a
high standard and the number of men
who measure up to it is not large. Out
of all the classes graduated from Bryn
Mawr there are only three in which
more than half the members have mar
ried.
“Marriage wtth the college woman is
not so much a question of chance as
of choice. She isn't obliged to put up
witli the first suitor that comes along,
and she won’t do it. She makes as the
determining test: 'Is this the man I
want for the father of my children?’
And she’s quite right to set it up.
“if a girl of 22 can find a man of 25
who has physical health, ability and
compatibility, such an early marriage
Is Ideal. But she had better wait for
this man till she is 30 or 35, she had
better wait for him forever, rather than
make an early marriage with a rotter.
She had better drown herself than do
that.
Meet High Standards.
“It Is most hopeful for the future of
the race that our educated women are
setting up such standards, because it
means that men must eventually meet
them,” added Doctor Nearing. "But it
Is one reason for the late marriage, or
even for no marriage at all.
“On the other hand, the young man
of today Rhrlnks from the burden of
the parasite wife. The wife no longer
contributes to tlie family income by
creating values. With the increased
standard of elaborate dressing, she is
often its chief burden.
“The woman of today is in the third
stage. First she was the slave, the
beast (it burden, a creature that might
be beaten to enforce obedience to her
lord and master. Second came a stage
of cooperative labor, with the cook
stove and the loom. Woman wfis then
of economic value. Now she is too
often an economic liability, a parasite.
The whole concept of the women of the j
an open Black sea was once near real
ization.
Time has added many fancies to the
fact of Oleg's campaign against the
weak willed Leon. Historians have
despaired of separating them. But it is
certain that Oleg headed a vast army
which he led to the gates of Constan
tinople and forced Byzantium to ac
knowledge him as a sort of overlord.
Tradition has it that he sailed from
the mouth of the Bon in a fleet of
boats so numerous that they hid the
waters of the Black sea from "the
eagle's eye.”
They drove the Byzantine troops back
on their main defenses. The fleet en
tered the Bosphorus and asasults were
made on Constantinople. But the en
gineers of Byzantium had builded well.
The walls could not be breached. Oleg
was in despair. His expedition prom
ised to fail. His untamed warriors
used to rough fighting and quick vic
tory, were not suited to siege methods.
No discipline could keep them long
content. They left the ships in bands
and prowled over the countryside on
plundering expeditions.
Oleg saw that if he could get his
ships into the Sea of Marmora he
would have a better chance to win. He
tried to run by the city’s defenses.
Chains and barricades stopped him.
Then he conceived the plan of beach
ing his ships on the Black sea coast
back of Constantinople. There wheels
were fitted to them and he sailed across
the Tchatalja line and launched them
again in Marmora.
Constantinople was astounded. Be
fore it could recover Oleg was nailing
his shield on the gates and Leo VI had
promised to pay a tribute to the savage
chieftain in return for guaranty of the
city’s safety.
middle and upper classes Is to sponge
upon the men.
An Exploded Myth.
"A young man can no longer soothe
himself with the comfortable axiom
that 'two can live as cheaply as one.'
When he marries he is likely to find
that It not merely costs twice as much
for two as for one, but 10 times as
much.”
"Ifou think that women should be
wage earners after marriage?"
"Every woman not engaged with the
care of small children should give her
self to some other productive work,"
said Dr. Nearing. "If the women of
today continue to be the economic
burdens to men that they are now, they
will ruin this country, Just as Rome
was ruined by its dissolute women.”
However, women are responsible for
only a fraction of the economic ob
stacles to the early marriage.
In one of his first books, "Wages in
the United States,” Dr. Nearing proved
that half the adult men in the Uriited
States are earning less than $500 a
year; that three-quarters of them are
earning less than $600 annually; that
nine-tenths are receiving less than
$800 a year. It has been estimated that
a man and his wife and three chil
dren cannot maintain a normal stand
ard of life on less than $900 a year.
Elementary arithmetic would seem to
show why there are fewer early mar
riages, why there are fewer marriages
at any age, why there are smaller fam
ilies.
No Hope for Early Marriage.
“It is the unmarried worker who
fixed the wage, not the married. one,”
said Dr. Nearing. "Our economic at
titude toward marriage is anti-social,
anti-moral, the worst word you can
think of to call it. It’s the exceptional
young man who can afford to get mar
ried before he's 30, unless his father
says to him, ‘Go ahead and I’ll sup
port you.’ ”
“And do you think the father
should say that?”
"Nix!” he answered emphatically, If
a trifle unprofessionally. "I do see a
theoretical solution in the suggestion
of one writer that the state should
say to Its men of 26 and its women
of 23, ‘Get married now, so that your
children, my future citizens, rm-y be
born before you are too old, and I’ll
support you for five years,’ but I real
ize that is not practical politics, and
personally I see no hope for the re
turn to the early marriages.”
A Famous Whittier.
From September Strand.
Mr. F. W. Foster, of Waterbury
Conn., has whittled from his earliest
days—In fact, at the Interesting age ot
2 he Is said to have whittled the off
leg of the dining room table, and thus
laid the foundation of Ills future hob
by. When table legs began to give out,
his father bought him a harmless little
whittling set—not so much to encour
age him in his art as to save the rest
of the household furniture. After whit
tling most of his fingers, young Foster
settled down to real work, and began
to turn out some really remarkable
carvings. He whittled while at school,
and thereby attracted the attention of
his teachers, who were not always in
sympathy with him. When he left
school he still continued Jo whittle, and,
In fact, he has been whittling, on and
off. ever since.
In his homo at Waterbury, Mr. Fos
ter has dozens of wonderful models,
among them being a cribbage board
which contains no fewer ttian 2,500
pieces of wood, so marvelously put to
gether that it is difficult, without the
aid of a microscope, to find the Join
ings. You will also see a locomotive
and an old fashioned square rigged
whaling ship, the latter apparently fast
in the ice and surrounded by Polar
bears, all waiting to take a bite at the
crew as they show their faces. Then
there is the battleship Maine, with 55
sailors drawn up on deck, each tar be
ing exactly H4 inches tall. Many other
models "of a minor importance,” as
Mr. Foster modestly puts it, are to he
seen, but these are far too numerous to
describe.
Within the City Walls.
Walter E. Weyl, in Harper’s Magazine.
And yet. when all is said that can be
said against the city, when all is con
sidered and weighed and balanced, the
fact remains that in a moral as well as
a physical sense the city advances more
rapidly than does the country, and ttiat
it is precisely in the city, with its er
rors and its carelessness and its ruth
lessness, that the foundations are dis
covered upon which is to be reared a
great moral democratic American civi
lization.
While men, despairing of our city civ
ilization, cry, "Back to the land,” for
getful of the fact that you cannot re
turn an urban population to the fields
or a graybeard to childhood, at this yerv
time, profound curative forces are at
work, and from the heart of our omni
present city evils themselves arises a
new social civic ideal.
This ideal is broad. Everywhere in
America city problems are being en
visaged and attacked. City poverty, city
crime, city carelessness, city mlsgovern
ment, are being studied, analyzed and
combatted. The housing problem, the
rapid transit problem, the health prob
lem. the educational problem—these and
a hundred other problems of the city are
approaching a point where at least a par
tial solution is in prospect, Formerly
cities were burying ground* for rural
Immigrants; even within rather recent
decades the annual city deaths equaled
the city births. All that is now changed
Year by year the city death rate de
clines, and the time is perhaps not far
distant when the expectation of life will
be as great within as without the city
wails.
W.L. ~ ,
MEN’S *2.50 *3 *3.50 *4.00 *4.50 *5 *5.50SHOES I
WOMEN'S *2.00 *2.50 *3.00 *3.50 & *4.00 SHOES ?
BOYS’ * 1.75 *2 *2.50 *3.00 MISSES’ *2.00 & *2.50 1
YOU CAN SAVE MONEY BY *
WEARING W. L. DOUGLAS SHOES
W. L. Douglas shoes are made of the beat domestic and imported
leathers, on the latest models, carefully constructed by the most
expert last and pattern makers In this country. No other make
of equal prices, can compete with W. L . Douglas shoe, for style,
workmanship and quality, A. comfortable, easy walking
shoes they are unsurpassed.
The s:s.00,83.50 and 84.00 shoes will give ns good service
as other makes costing 84.00 to 85.00. The 84.50,85.00 and
85.50 shoes compare favorably with AaaawiwanB
other makes costing 80.00 to 88.00. /wherever you live
there are many men ami women wear | ing IV. I..Douglas
shoes. Consult them and they will tell I you that W. 1,.
Douglas shoes cannot be excelled for I the price.
CAUTION! SiTorhli?N ANPi 8 ANff^RICr
■tamped on the bottom. 8hoen thus ■lamped are always
worth the price paid for them. For 32 years W L. Douglas has
guaranteed their value and protected the wearer against blab
prloee for Inferior shoes by having his NAME AND PRICE
■tamped on thobottom before they leave the factory. Do not
be persuaded to take some other make claimed to be Just as
good. You are paying your money and are entitled to the best.
If your dealer cannot supply you, write for Illus
trated Catalog; showing; how to order by mall.
IV T llnn.l.s a I Unn.lr d* _U_
ii —
If yon could visit the
W. L. Douglas factory
at Brockton, Mass.,
And see how carefully
the shoes are made,
and the high grade
leathers used, you
would then under
stand why they look
and fit better, hold I
their shape and wear!
longer than other!
makes for the price. I
W. L. Douglas
ahoes are sold
through 80
stores In the
large cities
and shoe
dealers
every
where.
Joy.
"We're getting up a May day cele
bration. Can you suggest any fea
tures for it?”
"1 would think moving pictures
would be rather appropriate.”
AN INDIANA MAN TELLS
OF WESTERN CANADA
He Is Perfectly Satisfied, and
Tells of His Neighbors Who
Have Done Well.
Walter Harris, formerly lived near
Julietta in Warren township, Indiana.
He now lives at Hussar, Alberta. In
writing to his home paper in Indiana,
he says that the failure is the man
who always blames the country. He
fails to see his own mistakes, has
missed his calling and is not fitted
for farming. The two seasons just
past have been entirely different. In
1913 plenty of rain came in June and
a good crop followed, but the fall was
dry and but little snow in the winter
followed by a very dry summer, and a
short crop. Only those that had
farmed their land properly were able
to meet expenses.
For example, last year the Crow
foot Farming Company, south of
here, threshed from 1,250 acres 38,
000 bushels of wheat. One-half section
made 26 bushels, the poorest of all.
This year on 1,350 acres they threshed
nearly 20,000 bushels. Last year's
crop sold at 75 cents from their own
elevator. What they have sold of
this year’s crop brought $1.00 at
threshing time. Eight thousand bush
els unsold would bring now around
$1.25. The manager and part owner
was raised in Ohio and farmed in
Washington several years. He and
his wife spent last winter in Ohio.
She told me a few days ago that the
climate here was much better than
Ohio.
A man by the name of George Clark
threshed 75 bushels of oats, 45 bush
els *f barley and 35 bushels of wheat
to the acre. He had 15,000 bushels of
old oats as well as wheat and barley
In his granaries that have almost
doubled in price. He came from
Washington, where he sold a large
body of land around $200 that he
bought around $3.00 per acre. He then
refers to a failure. A large company
in the eastern states, owning a large
farm near Hussar pays its manager
$3,000 a year. The farm has not
been a success. Probably the man
ager’s fault. Mr. Harris says condi
tions are not as good as could be
wished for. but on the ending of the
war good crops, with war prices, will
certainly change conditions, and It
seems to me that the one who owns
land that will raise 100 bushels of
oats, 76 bushels of barley or 40 bush
els of wheat Is the one who “laughs
last.”
The above yields may seem exag
gerations to many, and are far above
the average, but you should remember
that the man who fails is counted in
to make the average, and there are
instances on record here that would
far exceed the above figures.
Nor is grain the only profitable
thing that can be raised here. There
are many fine horse ranches, some of
them stocked with cayuses and bred
to thoroughbreds, and others import
ed from the old countries. They ran
on the range nearly all the year. The
owners put up wild hay to feed them
if the snow should get too deep for
them to get the dead grass. There
are several hundred in sight of here
most of the time. There are several
cattle ranches north of here that have
from 600 to 7,000 head of cattle. One
man I know sold $45,000 worth of fat
cattle this fall. He winters his cat
tle on farms where they have lots of
straw and water, paying 75 cents a
month per head, or if there is enough
straw to winter 400 or 500 head they
buy the straw and water and have a
man to look after the cattle.—Adver
tisement.
__r
Caution.
T call a spade a spade.”
“I don’t take a chance on being so
positive this time of year. I'm liable
any morning to have to call it a snow
shovel.”
Drink Denison’s Coffee.
Always pure and delicious.
Man of High Position.
She—I might marry if I could find
a man I could look up to.
He—Well, there's the man in the
moon.
The rule among surgeons Is that no
person who submits to an operation
shall be permitted to take his vermi
form appendix away with him.
CUTICURA COMPLEXIONS
Are Usually Fresh and Clear, Soft and
Velvety. Try One.
The Soap to cleanse and purify, the
Ointment to soothe and heal. Thus
these supercreamy emollients promote
and maintain the natural purity and
beauty of the skin, scalp, hair and
hands under conditions which if neg
lected might disfigure them.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. XY,
Boston. Sold everywhere.—Adv.
Few Will See Ben's New Picture.
And now they are putting Ben
Franklin’s picture on the $100 bills.
But you’ll be likely to get better ac
quainted with his features through
the medium of the humble but useful
one-cent stamp.—Port Arthur (Tex.)
News.
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORLA, a safe and sure remedy for
Infants and children, and see that it
Signature of
In Use For Over 30 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher’s Castoria
Not Guilty.
"Willie, what does this mean? I
found a box of cigarettes in your
pocket."
"Yes, mamma. You see, I took ’em
away from Jimmy Jones so he
wouldn’t smoke 'em.”
OVERWORK and KIDNEY TROUBLE
Mr. James McDaniel, Oakley, Ky„
writes: "I overworked and strained
myself, which brought on Kidney and
Bladder Disease. My symptoms were
Backache and burning
in the stem of the Blad
der, which was sore
and had a constant
hurting all the time—
broken sleep, tired feel
ing, nervousness, puff
ed and swollen eyes,
shortnessof breath and
J. McDaniel. Rheumatic pains. I suf
fered ten months. I was treated by a
physician, but found no relief until I
started to use Dodd’a Kidney Pills, I
now feel that I am permanently cured
by the use of Dodd’a Kidney Pills."
Dodd’s Kidney Pills, 50c. per box at
your dealer or Dodd’a Medicine Co,
Buffalo, N. Y. Write for Household
Hints, also music of National Anthem
(English and German words) and re
cipes for dainty dishes. All 3 sent
free.—Adv.
God Comforts the Suffering.
God wants to be more to us in
time of keen suffering than at any
other time of our lives. "May her
dtys of suffering be her best days,’
prayed one for the pain-racked dis
ease-stricken wife of a dear friend. A
parent’s love is never so tender as
when a little child clings to it through
tears of sorrow, in agony of body or
mind. So God’s love, unsearchable in
its richness at all times, means most
to us when we cling close to him un
seeing, in the midst of suffering. The
closer we get to his love, and the more
we realize our utter dependence upon
it, the better our days will be. Let
us not rob ourselves of the blessings
he longs to send us in these our best
days of need.—Sunday School Times.
The Clock Was All Right.
A man went into a clock store and
handed out the pendulum of a clock,
which he wished to leave for repairs.
The clockmm asked him why he
didn’t bring the whole clock.
“The clock is all right,’’ was the re
ply. “It’s the pendulum that won’t go.
As soon as I pulled that out, the rest
went like the very dickens.”—Judge.
We Work Here.
Bill—According to an English pa
per, 60,bOO women in London were
thrown out of work by the war.
jill—And over sixty thousand wom
en began knitting in this country when
the war began.
Tough Luck.
“Jiggs seems awfully downhearted
since his wife eloped with the chauf
feur.”
“No wonder. They smashed up his
best car, and he had to foot the bill
for repairs.”
Nothing so disappoints a woman as
the discovery that her husband has
heen telling her the truth (
DREW THE LINE AT WIDOWS
School Superintendent of Purltyville
Explained Situation to Young and
Pretty Woman.
“Well, now that I have seen Purity
ville. 1 can see how anybody would
take almost any kind of a chance to
get away.”
She’s an Indianapolis grass widow,
clever.
The grass widow went to Purityville
and asked the school superintendent
for a job. He pried into her past like
a detective, and finally drew from her
that she was a divorcee. The superin
tendent threw up his hands.
"My dear young woman,” he said, “I
am sorry that 1 cannot employ you.
We are opposed here to the employ
ment of widows of both classes. Our
school board has a sort of unwritten
law against it.”
The grass widow sighed and looked
out of the window.
"But I am a widow through no fault
of mine," the young woman insisted.
"It was the husband who erred. And,
besides, single women also have been
known to kidnap married men from
their families."
“Yes, yes, I know,” the superinten
dent chirped; “but the single ones are
not so bright and attractive.”
She felt the need of employment,
and had heard that Purltyville was In
the market for school teachers. Now,
Purltyville is a nice, live city not far
from Indianapolis, but it has a repu
tation for followiug fad reform waves,
local gossip and flutter of municipal'
dissension.
No, she didn’t get the job.—Indian
apolis News.
Free Will.
It was the day of the picnic, but
Jean had got a bad cold.
“I’ll get you the prettiest doll I can
find, if you will stay at home,” said
Jean’s mother. “Now, which had you
rather do?” A burst of tears was the
only reply.
“Dear, dear, I did not know that you.
wanted to go as badly as all that,”
said the mother soothingly.
"I’m not crying because I can’t go,”
sobbed Jean. “I’m crying because I've
got to decide.”
Nearly every Joker proceeds upon
the theory that a bald-headed man is
one of the accessories of humor.
The pleasure in travel comes mostly
in talking about it to people who have
never made the trip.
Why send
your money
away for
“bargain
roofing’* when you can
get the best roofing at a rea
sonable price of your own local
dealer whom you know?
Buy materials that last
Certainrteed
Roofing
is guaranteed in writing 5 years for
1-ply, 10 years for 2-ply, and 15 years
for 3-ply, and the responsibility of
our big mills stands behind this guar
antee. Its quality is the highest and
its price the most reasonable.
General Roofing Manufacturing Co.
World's largest manufacturers of Roofing
and Building Papers
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VISIT V
California's %
Expositions
via
Northern Pacific Ry
and Great Northern Pacific
S. S. Co.
Low Round Trip Fares Daily
Through trains from Chicago, St. Louis
and Kansas City to Puget Sound, the
“Mediterranean of America.*!
Slop Off at
Yellowstone National Park
Enter via Gardiner Gateway and Northern
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Personally escorted tours to and through the
Park during season-June 15 to Sept. 15.
— SEND FOR FREE TRAVEL
LITERATURE, including il
lustrated Expositions folder
and let us assist you in plan*
ning your 1915 vacation.
A. M. CLELAND,
Gen’l Pass. Agent, 588 Sorthera
Fictile Bldg., 8k Punk a Inn