woman,
Ovoid
Opo/umUoTuV
When a woman suffering from some form of feminine
disorder is told that an operation is necessary, it of course
frightens her.
The very thought of the hospital operating table and the
Burgeon’s knife strikes terror to her heart, and no wonder.
It is quite true that some of these troubles may reach a stage
where an operation is the only resource, but thousands of
women have avoided the necessity of an operation by taking
Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. This fact is
attested by the grateful letters they write to us after their
health has been restored.
These Two Women Prove Our Claim.
vai y t in o>t uc.— a. icui it a umjr j.
owe to all suffering women to tell
what Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound did for me. One year ago
I found myself a terrible sufferer.
I had pains in both sides and such a
soreness 1 could scarcely staighten
up at times. My back ached, I had
no appetite and was so nervous I
could not sleep, then I would be so
tired mornings that I could scarcely
get around. It seemed almost im
possible to move or do a bit of work
and I thought I never would be any
better until I submitted to an opera
tion. I commenced taking Lydia E.
Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound and
soon felt like a new woman. I had
no pains, slept well, had good appe
tite >>ud was fat and could do almost
my uwu wuitt lwr n let Lull j 01
four. I shall always feel that I owe
my good health to your medicine."
—Mrs. II at ward Sowers, Cary, Me.
Charlotte, N. C—"I was in bad
health for two years, with pains in
both sides and was very nervous. If
I even lifted a chair it would cause
a hemorrhage. I had a growth which
the doctor said was a tumor and I
never would get well unless I had
an operation. A friend advised me
to take Lydia E. Pinkliam’s Vegeta
ble Compound, and I gladly say that
I am now enjoying fine health and
am the mother of a nice baby girl.
You can use this letter to help other
suffering women.”—Mrs. Rosa Sims,
10 Wyona St., Charlotte, N. 0.
Mow answer this question if you can. Why should a wo
man submit to a surgical operation without first giving Lydia
E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound a trial ? You know that
it has saved many others—why should it fail in your case?
For 30 years Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound lias been the standard remedy for fe
male ills. No one siek with woman’s ailments
does justice to herself if she does not try this fa
mous medicine made from roots and herbs, it
has restored so many suffering women to health.
M^p»Wrlteto LYDIA E.PINKHAM MEDICINE CO.
W (CONFIDENTIAL) LYNN, MANS., for advice.
Your letter will be opened, read and answered
by a woman and held in strict coniidence.
Another Area.
"The prima donna fell down in the
opening to that aria4”
"Lawdy days! So did our cook."
Mrs.Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softeuH the gains, reduces iullaiutuu
tion,alleys pam,eureu wiudcoile^&ea nottle.AO
American View.
"So you don’t approve of those lain
don suffragettes?’’
"I don’t know much about them,"
replied Miss Cayenne, "but 1 can’t
help feeling that a woman who can't
subdue a few men without the use
of dynamite 1b something of a failure."
Japanese Courtesy.
A country where courtesy Is a busi
ness, and business but a gentle avo
cation, reflects its peculiarity in the
most trifling details of conduct. Such
a country is Japan and such a detail
recently camo into notice when a city
electric bureau of Tokyo asked the
patrons of its street car lines how
they preferred to be addressed when
It was necessary to urge them to
"move up.” Out of tho 2,719 sugges
tions sent in the Independent selects
and translates six, as follows:
"Those not getting off, to the mid
dle, please!"
"The middle is moro comfortablo! ”
"I'm sorry, but ail move on by one
strap!”
“There's a pretty girl about the
middle of the car!”
"A pickpocket has juBt come on
board!”
The municipal authorities frowned
somewhat upon th last three sugges
tions, but the conductors will be
taught to use some of the other forme.
is it possible that the Japanese hope
to enjoy an efficient traction service
on such terms? Apparently they hope
to, and we pass along the Japanese
idea as a helpful hint to the gentle
men who jerk a gong on the rear of
our own street cars.
NOT WORKING FOR ART’S SAKE
Violinist Certainly Had No Mistaken
Idea as to His Ear for
the Melody.
The Blue Forest orchestra ^ad just
finished an ear-piercing melody on the
front lawn of "Berry Inn.”
One of the guests approached the
violinist and somberly inquired:
"Do you play by note?”
"Niver a note do I play, sir,” replied
Mr. Hennessey, mopping his fevered
brow with a handkerchief of sangui
nary hue.
"Ah, by ear, then?" said the summer
boarder, with a smilo of gracious in
terest.
"Niver an ear helps me,” responded
the other, returning his handkerchief
to his capacious pocket.
"Indeed! May 1 ask how you-—what
you do play by, then?” persisted the
inquirer.
"By main strin’th, be gorry!!” said
Mr. Hennessey, with a weary air, as he
plunged his ancient instrument into its
green bag; "An’ it's mighty dry wurrk
an' that’s no mistake."
Better Than Trees.
Her Father—Have you a family
tree?
Her Lover—No; but I have 10,000
acres of pine timber.
Her Father—Great! Have a drink,
a good cigar and the girl!—New York
Post.
GROWING STRONGER
Apparently, with Advancing Age.
“At the age of 50 years I collapsed
from excessive coffee drinking,” writes
a man in Mo. "For four years 1 sham
bled about with the aid of crutches or
cane, most of the time unable to
dress myself without help.
“My feet were greatly swollen, my
right arm was shrunken and twisted
inward, the fingers of my right hand
were clenched and could not be ex
tended except with great effort and
pain. Nothing seemed to give me more
than temporary relief.
"Now. during all this time and for
about 30 years previously, I drank
! daily an average of 6 cups of strong
coffee-—rarely missing a meal.
“My wife at last took my case into
her own hands and bought some
Postum. She made it according to di
rections and I liked it fully as well
as the best high-grade coffee.
"Improvement set in at once. In
about 6 months I began to work a lit
tle, and in less than a year I was very
much better, improving rapidly from
day to day. I am now in far better
health than most men of my years
and apparently growing stronger with
; advancing age.
"I am busy every day at some kind
of work and am able to keep up with
the procession wdthout a cane. Tha
arm and hand that were once almost
useless, now keep far ahead in rapiditj
of movement and beauty of penman
ship.”
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek. Mich. Write for copy of the lit
tie book, "The Road to Wellville.”
Postum comes in two forms:
Regular Postum—must be well boiled.
Instant Postum is a soluble powder
A teaspoonful dissolves quickly in a
cup of hot water and, with the addi
tion of cream and sugar, makes a de
licious beverage instantly.
. “There’s a reason” for Postum
Rheumatism Is Torture
Many pains that pass as rheumatism
are due to weak kidneys—to the failure
of the kidneys to drive off uric acid
thoroughly.
When you suffer achy, bad joints, back
ache too, dizziness $nd some urinary
disturbances, get Doan’s Kidney Pills,
the remedy that is rec ommended by over
150,000 people in many different lands.
Doan’s Kidney Pills help weak kid
neys to drive out the uric acid which
is the cause of backache, rheumatism
and lumbago.
Here’s proof. A SOUTH DAKOTA
CASE
W. R. Smart,
Bella Fourche. S.
I). says: * •Rheu
matism caused me
terrible suffering.
1 had to give up
work I had to be
lifted around and
was perfectly help
less. Doan n Kid
ney Pills acted like
magic In driving
away the rheuma
tism. It soon left
me entirely and I
haven't had an at
tack since."
Get Doan's at Any Store, 50c a Box
DOAN'S ViLIV
FOSTER-MI LBURN CO-. BUFFALO. N. Y.
Ned Singleton put his hands on the
Sides of his skiff, and, leisurely raising
himself Into a sitting posture, looked
around. While he had been lying at
the bottom of the boat absorbed In
thought and dandled by the gentle
swell, the tide had carried him at least
a couple of inlles below the town. Dip
ping his sculls Into the water, Ned be
gan to pull slowly back to his starting
point. As he neared the town again
most of the passing boats were gay
■with brightly colored sunshades, under
which reclined girls dressed In cool
looking cream and white. A few of the
fair visions were rowing, but the ma
jority seemed quite content to occupy
the stern of the craft, where they could
display their latest confections for the
admiration of their escorts and criticise
at their ease the toilettes of the other
ladles.
On the right, the sea, sparkling under
the sunbeams, stretched away, a sheet
of molten silver, till it reached the hor
izon, while a thin hue of smoke, hardly
visible to the eye of a landsman, be
trayed the presence of some outward
bound steamer. On the left, beach and
parade were gay with bright dresses;
while the stirring strains of the "Sol
dier's Chorus,” played by the military
band, sounded pleasantly across the
water.
Ned's serious face was rather a con
trast to all the gayety around him.
For some time he had been trying to
decide upon making a proposal of mar
riage. Though he preferred to think
that there was little doubt of his suit
being favorably received, the lady of
his chok e being of humble birth, where
as his father was a high dignitary of
the established church, there were sev
eral circumstances In connection with
the affair which caused him anxiety.
Their first meeting occurred during
the summer. Picturing it to himself
for the hundredth time, he again mar
veled at its strangeness. Early one
morning, ns he was strolling through
Homo of the narrow streets of the older
part of the town he had lighted upon
ttie fish market. It was a queer little
place, consisting of four or five stone
slabs upon which the fish were exposed
for Side. Noticing some fine soles, he
had gone closer to look at them, when
a young gtrl came out of a sort of little
cupboard behind the stone counter. Her
face was not exactly beautiful; she had
no classic regularity of feature; but her
keen, intellectual eyes, her dignified
carriage and the refined tones In
which she asked him what he wanted,
Immediately struck Ned as being curi
ously out of place in such a situation.
Upon hearing what he required, she
called out "Pad," but receiving no reply
said: “He'll come and serve you In a
minute," and was retreating Into the
cupboard again, when Ned, prompted
by some mediaeval reminiscence out of
an old French book he had been read
ing. doffed his cap, and, bowing low,
exclaimed: "The fish were worth four
times the pnice, fair maid. If 'twere
served by thy own fair hands."
She looked at him sharply, hesitated
a moment, then, catching his humor,
replied In the same strain: "In sooth,
good sir, thou valuest my hands right
royally. To quadruple the price of the
fish were well worth a washing, yet
will I charge you but another moiety
for your compliment.” Taking up those
he selected, she spoke a few words to
a weather-beaten old fisherman who
came up Just then, and smilingly hand
ed the fish to Ned.
the hand of his mistress he performed
some gallant feat of arms, killed a
dragon or some other unfortunate beast
In order to prove his love for her. I
like to think that there Is still some
romance left In the world, and I want
my knight to do something for me. Will
he do it?”
"My lady has but to name the task,”
he said.
She laughed. "Well, as the dragons
are all dead, you will have to be con
tent with smaller game. What I want
you to do is something quite different,
but perhaps more difficult."
"You have only to say what, and it
is done.”
"Bravely spoken, noble sir. Now you
shall come and give me a taste of your
quality. There are three things I tvant
you to do—that is the proper, mediae
val number, isn't it?—the first this
morning, the second and third this
afternoon; and then—
"No, not yet,” she exclaimed, push
ing him away. "You must do your
duty first. She got up from her seat
and walked briskly In the direction of
the town. Ned followed her, wondering
what was going to happen. She did not
speak until they reached the fish mar
ket. Then she said: "You are ready
to prove your words? You are quite
sure of yourself?”
"Try me,” he replied.
She pointed to the fisherman’s bar
•ow, covered with some freshly caught
plaice. “That is your first task. Take
that barrow and carry those fish for
me along the parade. Then shall I
enow that you do not despise the call
ng of my father.”
The family pride of the Singletons
irove the warm blood into Ned’s face
intil it was as scarlet as a cardinal’s
tat and for a few seconds he stood
ftill and said nothing.
She watched him attentively. “Well,
ny gallant dragon-slayer, is the task
;oo hard for you?”
At the sound of her mocking words
te recovered himself. “In sooth, my
ady,” he replied, ’’’tis the easiness of
t that has disappointed me. I had
toped for a foe more worthy of my
Jteel.”
" 'Tis one that will test your pride,
ind he that is faithful in a few
:hings—so, if you are not ashamed
He pushed the barrow into the
ftreet. “Since thy father is a servant
tf St. Peter, 'twould ill become ills
iamily to be ashamed of the calling
tf the apostle," she said. But he
:hought otherwise. He pictured the
ook upon the face of his father, the
tishop: the horror-stricken expression
tf his respectable mother, and the
scornful grief of his superior sisters
’ould they see him now. And, as he
thought of their consternation, his
feeling of mortification changed to one
tf amusement, and he laughed mer
rily to himself as he turned on to the
parade.
At fir.st his appearance created a
?ood deal of attention. A well-set-up
voung man in Panama hat, spotless
flannels, and light brown boots, push
ing a barrow of plaice, was rather a
change from the usual mahogany
faced, blue-Jerseyed. sea-booted boat
man But he buckled himself to it,
and soon a crowd of gayly dressed
people, ready to welcome any dis
traction, however trivial, stood still
and watched him as he passed, listen
ing with an amused expression on
their faces to the customary' fisher
man’s cry of “Rye bay plaice. Rye
bay plaice,” rendered in a light, mu
sical baritone.
Ignoring the bands of children who
gathered at his heels and the gen
eral interest he was creating, Ned
went doggedly on with his task, and,
before he reached the south end of
the parade, succeeded in disposing of
most of his goods. Ella had not stip
ulated that he should sell the fish at
any particular price, and he took ad
vantage of her omission to ask a con
siderably lower figure than that usual
ly charged. But his ordeal was not
quite over.
“They look nice fish," said a lady
accompanied by a cavalier, arrayed in
an eyeglass and a most glorious y'acht
ing suit perfumed with the odors of
Araby. The amateur fisherman looked
up. There was no mistaking Harold
Mortimer, the biggest dandy in the
temple. Their eyes met arid the lat
ter stood dumfounded with amaze
ment.
"How are you, old chap?" Ned ex
claimed, mischievously holding out a
hand which bore unsavory traces of
his lately adopted occupation. "Want
some fish? You can have the lot for a
couple of bob."
Mr. Mortimer reddened and hesitated.
“Y'es, send them along to that address,”
he said, pretending not to see Ned’s
extended hand, but depositing a card
and a couple of shillings on the barrow
and hurriedly walking on. For a mo
ment Ned felt Inclined to hurl his
money after him; but after a few sec
onds he smiled to himself and dropped
the coins Into his pocket. Then he de
livered the remainder of his fish at the
proper address, and, with a feeling of
relief, wheeled his empty barrow in the
direction of the market.
L
ence, he found himself strolling in the
same direction on the following morn
ing, and, Indeed, for many mornings
afterwards. She was not always there,
hut the old salt who took her place
seemed benevolently disposed toward
Ned, ftnd quite willing to talk about
the virtues of Ills daughter. When he
got to know lier a little better, Ned
found hts first impression had been cor
rect. She was far better educated than
he had thought, and seemed a lady in
every respect. Glancing from the rough,
coarse featured old man, whose speech
and manners were those of his class,
to the refined, neatly dressed girl beside
him. It seemed Incredible that he could
be the father of such a daughter.
Whether Influenced by Ned's lavish
presents of tobacco, or his extensive or
ders for fish, which the young fellow
had a good deal of trouble to dispose
of. the old man began to grow increas
ingly friendly toward him, and afforded
him every opportunity of making him
self agreeable to the young lady—a
privilege of which Ned was not slow to
take advantage.
During the rest of his holiday he saw
her almost every day. Soon she seemed
to expect him, and they went about a
good deal together. The more he had
of her company the more lie admired
her: and. by the time his holiday was
over, he was as much in love as a
man could be.
All through the winter Ned took great
care to keep in touch with his new
friends, sending the old man tobacco,
and the girl little knick-knacks: while
he got them more orders for fish than
they were able to fulfill. He had asked
Ella for her address, but the most he
could obtain from her had been a prom
ise to keep him next summer. Sum
mer had come again; she had kept her
promise, and, in his eyes, she seemed
more beautiful and desirable than ever.
He had made up his mind that tomor
row he would ask her to become his
wife. Hitherto she had fenced with
him. and In some way or other pre
vented him from coming to the point
whenever ho broached the subject: but
this time he was determined not to be
put off.
"I'm sure she loves me," he said to
himself, and the thought sent the blood
coursing through every vein, while the
vigorous strokes of his sculls drove the
little skiff through the water like a tor
pedoboat.
• •••••
Ned had carried out his resolution.
The two were sitting on a grassy bank
shaded by stately elms. At Intervals
the fresh morning breeze, laden with ,
the perfume of clover and hay, made a
gentle rustling overhead.
"And you are sure—quite sure. Ned.
that you will never regret marrying a
common fisher girl," she asked.
"You are not a common fisher girl,”
he replied warmly. "And If you were—
If you were a beggarmald, it would be
all the same; for I love you, KUa.”
"But think of your parents. What j
will they say when they hear of It?
Cottage folk are apt to be awkward
and out of place In the drawing room."
“Y’ou would not he out of place In a
palace. Besides, what does it matter
to them? Y’ou are not going to marry
my relations, or I yours. Don’t let silly
social distinctions stand In the way of
our love."
And he seized her hand and poured
out a torrent of passionate pleading.
She let him keep it for a few seconds,
looking straight In front of her with a
curious smile in her liquid brown eyes.
Then she softly drew It away.
"Listen, my dear." she began. "In
the olden days before a knight gained
On the way he met Elio. She wan In
a hurry, and just stopping to say "This
afternoon at four," passed on. Giving
a boy a shilling to take the barrow to
its destination, Ned went to his lodg
ings wondering what the afternoon had
in store for him; but feeling that after
his morning’s experience he was cap
able of anything.
At the appointed time he walked
toward the pier. A little knot of peo
ple were standing near the water ad
miring a tiny yacht, which was appar
ently a new arrival. As he walked
down the steps on to the beach he saw
Ella coming along the parade.
"I'm dying to know what my second
task is to be,” he said, looking admir
ingly at her rosy cheeks and bright
eyes sparkling with suppressed excite
ment. “I hope it’s nothing else in the
fish line.”
She laughed. "You haven’t forgiven
me then. No, I'm going to test your
seamanship this afternoon, and see if
it is worthy of the husband of a fish
erman’s daughter. What do you think
of her?" and she proudly pointed to
the little craft before them, at the
same time tossing her mackintosh and
several other parcels into the stern of
the boat.
“But how?—where?—whose?" he be
gan.
“Now, sir, no questions, please."
A dozen willing hands assisted them
to launch the boat, and in a few min
utes they were running past the head
of the pier.
“Which way is the wind?" said Ella.
"Nor’west," said Ned, who was steer
ing.
"Good; now I want you to steer
southeast. That ought to take us
straight to Calais, oughtn’t it?”
“Yes," he replied, "but I hope you
don’t expect to get there today with
this tide.”
“Will you please cease your objec
tions, sir, and remember your vow of
obedience?”
’Til lay her course for the North
Pole if you like,” he said, looking fond
ly at her.
As they were running before the
wind, and the sea was comparatively
smooth, the boat wanted little atten
tion, and Ned's eyes continuously rest
ed upon the smart little figure in
front of him. She had always neatly
dressed, but today she had taken spe
cial pains with her toilet, and her dark
blue yachting costume, faced with
white braid, suited her lithe, slender
figure admirably. As soon as they got
away from the shelter of the land and
felt the full force of the breeze, their
craft flew along at a pace which de
lighted them both. “Doesn’t she go
beautifully?” said Ella, and taking up
a long pair of field glasses she swept
the horizon in front of them. Then she
began to chat vivaciously about gen
eral subjects. Ned had never seen her
so excited. Presently she suggested re
freshments, and, taking the helm,
made Ned open a bottle of champagne,
and regaled him upon cold fowl and
ham and strawberries and cream. He
opened his eyes in surprise, but she
placed her finger warningly on her lips
and he said nothing.
They had been running in a south
easterly direction for about three hours,
and the light was beginning to fail.
Behind them, a little to the left, the
Southsand’s Head beacon showed the
receding Goodwins, and in front, away
to the right, the Gris Nez light flashed
out like a great white fire with ever
increasing distinctness. Several times
Ned had hinted upon the advisability
of returning, but had been immediate
ly checked by his imperious mistress.
So he ceased to care what was going
to happen, and gave himself up to the
delight of being alone with the wo
man he loved. But presently, when he
found the wind freshening so that he
was obliged to take in a couple of
reefs, and the sea running so high that
he had to steer very carefully, he began
to get rather anxious. But Ella
would not listen to his remonstrances,
and refused to let him alter their
course. It was not until a sea broke
over the stern and nearly swamped
them that she seemed to realize the
situation.
“I told you so.” he said, as they
bailed out the water.
"Well,” she replied, “try and keep on
five minutes longer, and if I can’t find
what I want then we’ll try another
tack.” She again took out her glasses
and carefully scanned the horizon.
After a few seconds’ search she ut
tered an exclamation of delight,- and
pointed out the mast white and port
red light of a steamer about a mile
off. “Lend me a match, Ned, and
bring two if 5rou can,” she said, op
ening one of the boat’s lockers. With
some difficulty she lit a blue light and
then a red one, waved them round her
head and threw them into the air one
after another. They had scarcely
reached the water when a couple of
answering lights flashed over the bows
of the steamer. Then a searchlight
was turned upon the boat and the
vessel came readily down upon them.
“Your second task is finished.” said
Ella, with a slight tremor in her voice.
“When we have boarded that yacht
there is one thing that I want you to
do for me.”
“Hearkening and obedience,” he re
plied. muttering to himself: "Was
there ever anything out of the Arabian
Nights to beat this?"
The steamer soon drew alongside,
[and in a few minutes they were stand
ing on her deck, while the boat was
i rapidly hoisted up to the davits.
A smartly dressed officer received
! them. "Well, Captain Meriton, how
I are you?” said Ella. "Y'ou see I’ve
come aboard at last.”
I “Yes. miss. I’m glad you have," he
■ i"" a /
n replied. “T was getting anxious. W»’r»
a going to have some dirty weather,
g and the wind’s blowing up a bit too
fresh for that little craft to be com
a fortable.”
“Allow me to Introduce you to Mr,
I Singleton, captain. I suppose his berth
r is ready?"
“Everything as you ordered, miss,"
replied the officer.
1 "That’s all right, then. Now, Ned,
_ we may as well go and have some
. dinner. Captain Meriton, I hope you’ll
Join us."
j So saying, she tripped down the
T companion into the saloon. It was
artistically and neatly decorated,
j though there was none of the useless
luxury often found on board the mod
, ern yacht. Comfort seemed to be its
prevailing characteristic.
3 “One minute, Ned,” and beckoning
him to follow her, she led the way
across the passage and opened the
„ door of another room, which looked
, like a library. Motioning him to sit
down, she stood up facing him.
’ "My last request, Ned, Is that you
L will forgive me.”
’ “Forgive you? What for?" said.
. She took up a copy of a New York
5 Journal which was lying upon one of
the tables and pointed to a paragraph
among the Items of fashionable Intelli
gence. It read as follows:
"By the death of Mr. McKlnton, hie ^
daughter becomes one of the richest
heiresses in the states. We understand
. Miss McKlnton Is very unconventional
and independent. She will shortly sail
for Europe In her own yacht,” etc.,
etc.
Ned looked up. "But I don’t quite
understand.” he began.
"I have deceived you,” said Ella.
"My name is Ruth McKlnton. Mrs.
Dixon is only my foster mother. I
have been accustomed to spend a week
or two with them every year for rest
and quiet. When I met you I told
them not to say anything about my real
position, for I wanted a man who
would love me for myself alone; and
when one is rich-. Will you forgive
me, Ned, or shall I tell Captain Meriton
to steam back to Eastholme?"
Ned immediately replied in the most
emphatic manner possible.
“Ned, Ned, don’t,” she pleaded. "You
really must let me go. My maid is
waiting for me. and Captain Meriton
will be wondering where we have got:
to. Please tell him I won’t be long.”
"Well, I’m hanged,” said Harold'
Mortimer, as he glanced through hisi
paper at breakfast time. "What a
blithering idiot!”
“What's the matter?” inquired his
wife. “And who is the idiot?"
“I am," he replied. “You know that
chap selling fish we met at Eastholme1
last summer—I should have spoken to
him if you hadn't been with me. I told
you that was Ned Singleton, the bishop
of St. A-’s son, didn't I?" ■
“Yes, you did, and a good many oth
er people as well; but what about
him ?”
“Why, he’s married the daughter of
McKlnton, one of the richest heiresses:
In America. He’s a multimillionaire.
They’ve Just arrived in London. And.
to think that I cut him!”
"Weil, I must say that I agree with
you, Harold. You were an Idiot.”
And the pleasure of finding that hi»
wife did not disagree with him on at
least one subject was all the satisfac
tion Mr. Harold Mortimer ever got out.
of the affair.
CORN AT $10 AN EAR.
Out in Iowa They Raise That Kind
and Buy It in Themselves.
From the New York Sun.
Ten dollars eeema a pretty big price ta
pay for Just one ear of corn, but out in
Iowa they raise corn which brings even
more than that. It is not uncommon for a
man out there to raise corn which he can
not afford to own.
Improbable as this Bounds, it Is true,
and the explanation is that prize ears of
seed com become the property of the agri
cultural courses where they are exhibited.
They are then sold at auction, and the
man who raised them does not always
feel that he can afford to bid them in.
That was precisely what happened to an
Iowa farmer named McCulloch not long
ago. He entered a good many ears of corn
in the competition held at Marshalltown
under the management of the state agri
cultural college. Over 3,000 ears were en
tered and one of McCulloch’s won first
prize.
The prize was a $150 water supply sys
tem, so the fanner probably felt tliat he V
could afford to bid in the prize ear for /
$11.50. But when it came to buying back
80 other ears which he had entered he had
to let them go to others.
Those 80 ears brought $204.50; so that,
provided he could have sold the 81 ears of
com for what they actually brought, $216,
he could have bought his water supply
system and had $66 left.
G. F. Howard won $100 with a single
ear of corn in the same competition and
paid $10 for the ear to get it back. For
ten other ears which he entered he had
to bid up to $41.75 for the lot to get them.
Thirteen bushels of the corn that wai
entered brought an average of $39.50 a
bushel. Iowa farmers have waked up to
the importance of improving their crops
by improving their seed. The consequence
Is that Iowa raises the finest com in the
country and is constantly improving the
quality and the quantity to the acre.
Hen Beats a Drug Store.
Senator Butt of the Arkansas Senate
had just finished one of his droll stories
about feeding morphine to a pointer
pup and watching him as he indulged
in the ensuing antics occasioned by the
opium. Representative De Rossit,
known as one of the veracious men in
the state, said:
“Senator, your dog reminds me of
my hen. Needinng quinine one day,
as we often do. I mixed up an ounce
of the drug with molasses and rolled
it out into pills. Leaving the stuff to
dry on the front porch, I went into the
house. **0r
“Returning, I saw the last of my
pills swallowed by my hen.
“Of course, I thought her silly head
would burst wide open. She simply
commenced cackling, and has been lay
ing two eggs a day ever since. And do
you know, senator, those eggs are the
best chill tonic on the market? One of
them taken internally will knock the
spots from any case of malaria in the
state and shaking ague can’t stand be
fore ’em an hour after they are eaten.
I keep that hen dosed, I do.”
The Swear Wheel.
The clergyman retreated from the
golf course, shaking his head and smil
ing In a shocked way.
“I think,” he said, “that I shall get
out an invention for golfers, a swear
wheel. It seems badly needed here.
“You know the Burmese prayer
wheels,” he went on. “The Burmese
have prayer wheels that resemble pin
wheels, and It la by turning his wheel
that the Burmese always prays.
“Now do you grasp my idea? X
should equip nil these explosive and
profane golfers with swear wheels, and
then, when a man bungled a stroke,
he could give his swear wheel a few
angry turns, and in silence, with no of
fense to reverent ears, his outburst of
profanity would—But, hark.'“
An elderly, red-faced golfer, having
missed an easy stroke, threw his club
on the turf, and with clenched fists and
an apoplectic expression filled the air \
with oaths and blasphemy. 1
“Oh, for one of my swear wheels,"
said the clergyman, shudering, “to put
in that bad old boy’s hands.”