g!*J- . ..—.. JUDGED BY THEIR CLOTHES Smart Cigar Store Clerk Rtpdy With Apology That by No Means Mended Situation. Herman Fellner tells this story on himself, according to the New York correspondent of the Cincinnati Times Star. He was in Washington on busi ness recently and met three or four friends on the street. After a mo ment's chat he beckoned them to come with him. "I'm oft the stuff,” said he, "but I want to buy you each a cigar." They happened to be in front of a combination cigar and news stand at the moment. Led by Mr. Fellner, they all trooped in. The clerk hurried to the cigar case to wait upon them. Be fore Mr. Fellner could indicate his wishes the clerk had slapped a box on the glasB case. "Here y' are,” said he. "Best dime smoker in town." Mr. Fellner is sort of fussy about his smokes. He looked at the cigar then shoved the box away. "Have you no other price?” he asked. The clerk shoved the box in the case. “Sure thing," said he. "My mis take and your treat.” Having pulled off this time-worn witticism, he addressed Mr. Fellner confidentially. "Your clothes sort of fooled me, he. “ You fellers are a pretty well-dressed lot, you know.” Then he put another box on the coun ter. "Here,” said he, “Is the best nickel smoker in the village.” ECZEMA DISFIGURED BABY “Our little boy Gilbert was troubled ■with eczema when but a few weeks old. His little face was covered with sores even to back of his ears. Tho poor little fellow suffered very much. The sores began as pimples, his little face was disfigured very much. We hardly knew what lie looked like. The face looked like raw meat. We tied little bags of cloth over his hands to prevent him from scratching. He was very restless at night, his little face itched. "We consulted two doctors at Chi cago, where we resided at that time. After trying all the medicine of the two doctors without any result, we read of the Cuticura Remedies, and at once bought Cuticura Soap and Ointment. Following the directions carefully and promptly we saw the result, and after four weeks, the dear child’s face was as fine and clean as any little baby’s face. Kvery one who saw Gilbert after using the Cuticura Remedies was surprised. Ho has a head of hair which is a pride for any boy of his age, three years. We can only recommend the Cuticura Reme dies to everybody.” (Signed) Mrs. H. Albrecht, Box 883, West Point, Neb., Oct. 20, 15)10. Although Cuticura Soap and Ointment are sold by druggists and dealers everywhere, a sample of each, with 32-page book, will bo mailed free on application to “Cuticura," Dept. 14 L, Boston. Baltirr.ore French. A Baltimore honlfp.ee tells of a wniui in thiTt city who lately an nounced that he had taken up tho study of the French language. "Do you fmd It necessary here?” asked the patron to whom tho man confided this bit of Information. “Not here, sir," explained the wait er; ' bat I've been offered a steady Job In Paris at one of the hotels If 1 can Para Rrench." “But Pails Is full of French wait ers," said the patron, "I’m afraid you're being deceived.” . “No, sir," said the man, with much earnestness and absolute simplicity. “The proposition's a straight one. Tho proprietor of the hotel says that tho waiters he has can't understand French as we Baltimoreans speak It, and that’s what he wants me for, you »ee."—Llpplncott’e. Modem Methods. Moliere had written many plays t'j ridicule doctors and medicine. Louis XIV. heard that the author had, how ever, a doctor at his service Blnce he became famous and well-to-do, so the king one day called upon Moliere and said to him: "I have heard, Moliere, that you have a physician. What Is he doing to you?" “Sire,” answered the author of the "Malade Imaginaire,” "we chat togeth er, he writes prescriptions for me, I dqp’t take them and I am cured!”— Life. What! Rub a Kiaa Off? At the tender age of three mascu line conceit had gripped that small boy with a relentless clutch. He had kissed a little girl of three, and she was rubbing her lips vigorously. “You mustn't do that again," said the boy's mother. "She doesn't like It Just see how hard she Is trying to nib your kiss ofT.” “Oh, no, Bhe ain't,” said the boy. “She Is trying to rub It in." Important to Mothers Examine carefully every bottle of CAJ3TORIA, a safe and sure remedy for Infants and children, and Bee that it In Use For Over 30 Years. {Children Cry for Fletcher’s Cast or ia A woman who beats the street car tompany oat of a nickel and puts It h iha church plate may believe In |te eternal fitness of things. Dr. Pierce’s. Pleasant Pellets regulate and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels. Snub-coated, tiny granules, easy to take Dornot gripe._ The defeated candidate Is surprised •t the number of misguided men who Called to vote for him HIS CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR HIS BETTER HALF From the Washington Star. There was a sly, furtive look In the man's eye as he entered the vestibule of his home. Also there was some thing hangdog and slinking In his manner. His wife, of course, noticed these things at once. She observed when she kissed him that his lips were hot and parched. He did not meet her gaze. There was a distinct veil over his usually frank and open manner. His talk, as he hung up his hat and coat on the hall hatrack, was disjointed, not to the point, randomllke. He ap peared to be talking merely for the sake of making talk, as one converses with the purpose of covering up some thing. This, too, his spouse, of course, no ticed. She eyed him keenly out of the corner of her experienced eye. There was no aroma of drink on his breath. She had taken pains to ascertain that. What, then, could it be? She studied and studied and she continued to ob serve him sldelongwlse. A married woman becomes ertremely, almost un cannily adept in discerning It when her man has been In some sort of mischief. Not only that, but she becomes weirdly skilled In putting her finger, so to speak, upon the very nature of the mlschlof. But this time this wife plainly was baffled. He continued to avert his gaze from hers. He looked positively shifty eyed—something very unusual In him. Ho did not ask her what there was tor dinner; a question which she had learned confidently to expect from him as soon as he put foot In the vestibule of evenings. "Feeling all right, dear?" she asked him, experimentally. "Uh-huh," he replied, etarlng oddly at a little picture that he'd been per fectly familiar with for at least four teen years. "Things go all right at the office to day?" she Inquired. "Huh? Office? Things go all right?" he eald, absently. "What things? Sure things went all right. Why wouldn’t they?" "Oh, nothing,” replied his wife. She stopped prodding him. Wives know, with a knowledge based upon In side experience^ unit the husband with anything on his mtnd Sooner or later will blurt out something to give away the character of the Burden, If lit alone. The wives hate like fury to wait for the hour of the blurting opt, be cause curiosity deterred maketh the feminine heart sick; but, in a pinch, they will follow the dope, no matter how hard It hurts. As she fussed around, however, she decided to try another little lead or so, upon the chance that she might ac cidentally spring the cause of his dis quietude. "The bills were a little heavy this month, I’ll admit,” she suld, as If they'd been on that theme. At first he scarce seemed to have heard her observation. After a pause, however, he glanced up at her question ingly. runs r un, yes, me onis, ne saia. "Well, I’m not kicking about the hills, am 17 Who said anything about bills? I don’t shriek about bills, do I? I’ll pay ’em as long as I’ve got the prlco. Can’t do any better than that, can I?” Thus driven back, she turned, the matter oft with what lightness she could assume. All the same, the under lying cause of his disquietude, his ab sorption, his liangdogglness, had be gun very decidedly to bear upon her, and for a considerable less sum than two Blneoln pennies she could and would have shaken him until his teeth rattled. But she maintained her ap pearance and manner of exterior calm. They shine at this maintaining the ap pearance stuff. 1 Continuing to observe him out of the . left-hand corner of her eve, she no ticed that quite occasionally. If not ; oftener, his right hand would sort of i ....... I The Christmas Goose. iWhen comes the Yuletlde aeason. The Christmas goose we sing! All laden down with Juices brown, A toothsome offering. A Christmas goose—some argue— Is every trusting child. Who Santa Claus ndores because His socks with gifts are plied. A Christmas goose-they’ll tell you— Well known to all Is be! Poor patient dad, whoso purse must add To every charity. A Christmas goose—not really Is mother, anxiously At work with zest, so fearful lest Forgotten some may be. The Christmas goose—why, he’s The biggest goose, I fear, Who naught will spend upon e friend ! Nor love nor sympathy will lend 1 On the best day of the year. —May Kelly In Woman's Home Com panion. CHRISTMAS PLUM-PUDDING “Christmas without plum pudding," 'says Emma Richards In Woman's 1 Home Companion for December, , "would seem Ulte the play of ‘Ham ’ let' with 'Hamlet left out.’ and while you can buy a fairly good pudding In I a tin can, the homemade article gives fur more satisfaction and a larger quantity for the same expenditure. A I young English friend gave me his i mother's rule some years ago, and I ! havo used It year after year with real ' pleasure, and as It lasts my family most of the winter, I think It an eco '• nomica 1 dish. It will require one pound I of beef suet, one pound of currants, one pound of Sultana raisins, one pound of mixed peel (lemon, orange and citron), one pound of flour, two ounces of sweet almonds (chopped fine), one half teaspoonful of mixed spice, one half a nutmeg, one pound of Bugar, one small teaspoonful of salt, the rind and Juice of two lemons, three soda crackers rolled tine, six eggs and one I fourth of a teacupful of syrup. Thor i oughly mix when dry, then wet with , egg and syrup, and water enough to make very stiff, then let stand over night. In tho morning put In bowls, and cover with cloths, then put In a kettle of boiling water. Boll It for eight hours. When wanted for use boll again or steam until thoroughly heated 1 through. Serve with either hard or soft sauce or cream. As I own a large steamer, I usually steam my pudding Instead of boiling It, and I like It bet ter that way.” CHRISTMAS DAY J,N SWEDEN. From the Wide World Magazine. I In Sweden, Christmas day begins ' with a picturesque ceremony. There Is service at the churches at 6 In the morning, and It Is the custom for ' all classes to attend, rich and poor alike. As the sun has not risen at that hour, each person carries a large lighted torch, and these torches are thrown down In a heap at the door of the church, where they form a huge bonfire. The houses, too, are all Il luminated with candles. The king and royal family spend their Christ mas In precisely the same why as their subjects, the only deference be ing that their rejoicing are on a larger scale. They go to the uhurch Involuntarily reach up and feel of some thing that made a slight bulge In the right-hand Inside breast pocket of Ills coat. She noticed that when tn,. caught him at this lie looked hang doggier than ever, and quickly dropped the tell-tale hand. Whereupon a great, glowing light il lumined her, and she would have laid as high as 20 to 1, In money, marbles or chalk, that she knew. * • • Suddenly he ran his fingers through his hair, yawned phonily and said to her: "How about the eats? I'm starved.” "Are you?” she replied, just ordinar ily like that. “Well, I'll run down to the basement and hurry Hilda up with the dinner.” He watched her ns she traipsed out of the room and to the basement stairs, and he listened, with his head chocked to one side, while she pattered down the stairs. Then he gazed hurriedly all around the room, as If seeing some hid ing place, not for himself, of course, but for that which made the slight bulge In the pocket of his coat. Then, listening again, and even going to the head of the basement stairs to assure himself that his spouse still was downstairs In converse with the maid of all work, he tripped with the great est lightness and stealth to the stairs leading to the second floor, which he took two at a clip, and going so sllnkly that he scarcely creaked the stairs as he went. He did not stop at the second floor landing, but beat it right up to the garret, still going with such ease that he wouldn't have made any sound had ho been walking on a flock of base drums instead of stairs. Reaching the garret, he looked wide ly and hurriedly uround, like some one at bay after being pursued. His eye fell upon an old trunk standing in a dim corner of the storeroom. He tip pytoed over to the old trunk, undid the clasps at the side, found that the trunk wasn’t locked end raised the lid. As he did so ba thought ho heard a creaking on the stairs, and he looked up guiltily and kept the trunk lid poised In the air, held by one hand, as ho listened. Obviously attributing the creaking sound to imagination, he thrust the trunk lid back as far as it would go. Then he burrowed Into the trunk, which was filled with old papers, books and the like. He tossed the lit ter of old stuff to ono side, making a neat little hole In one of the rear cor ners of the trunk. • • • Then he reached Into hie right-hand breast poket with a hand that trem bled visibly, while his breath came strrtoriously, and he pulled up a small black leather Jewel case and he Jam med the Jewel case Into the little hole that he had made In the back of the litter of papers and things In the trunk. As he did so he Imagined he heard another bunch of creaks on the stairs, and again he paused and looked up wildly. Once again reassured as to the creaking, he covered over the Jewel case with the papers, let the trunk Ud fall gently, put the clasps up again, and then, standing up and brushing the dust from his clothes, he tippytoed out of the storeroom and went down the stairs to his bedroom on the second floor, where, flushed but relieved-look tng, he fixed his necktie and combed his hair and emitted a phony whistle to sort of ease his mind. Five minutes later his wife called un the stairs that dinner was ready, and when he went down to dinner his manner was easy again and all of his hangdogglness had disa-peared. But he hadn’t merely Imagined that creaking on the stairs. Friend wife had made the creaking. And when he went to Ills lodge meeting that night of course she went smack up to the garret and opened the old trunk and found the brooch In the Jewel case which ho foolishly had thought to hide from her until Christmas. In the royal park In the early morn ing. and—after a breakfast of coffee and cakes at noon—sit down at 3 o'clock to a dinner at which all the national dishes are Berved. One of these, lutflsk, is rather formidable; It consists of salt food slowly simmered for throe days In lime water, to which a good handful of wood ashes has been added, and Is eaten with pepper sauce. There must also be a ham on the table, for the pig was sacred to Freya, the Goddess of Bounty of the old northern mythology. Grod, or rice porridge, is eaten as In Denmark, and the cakes served with It are much the same as the Danish ones. It Is need less to say that In palace and hovel alike—wherever there are children— there Is suro to be a Christmas tree, round which the children dance mer rily. The Lord of Christmas Week. From Collier’s. Men have long dreamed of the perfect ruler, some happy prince who shall love his people well, whose leadership shall be wise, gentle and Just. History is wist ful with man's effort to find him—the hero, the strong man. the righteous ruler—and then to establish him in dominion over their broken lives and warring wills. Long ago they found Him. But all who find Him lose Him. though all have found Him fair. The eager dream came true, what time there issued out of Bethlehem the man of good will, the lover of the race. Each year, for a handful of days, so brief] so swift to go, Lord Christ assumes the leadership. Each year wc give Him Christ mas week, permitting Ills will to prevail His brooding spirit to rest upon the na tions. Toward that gentle Interlude-the days of the truce of God—men longingly look through the tale of the weary months. And when the brief term Is ended, yearn ingly our thoughts turn back to that time when we were good together. His spirit Is breathed through the pensive season. Ilks faint musto in the night. Strife, anger, tumult, and the hurry of the little days are banished. For our sad mood and lone ly heart He brings a comfort. To His loving-kindness we yield ourselves, rs tired children lay them down to rest. In His authority we find our peace. A whils we dwell In that felicity. Touched with mortality, as is all earthly beauty, the rapid days glance by, and we have lost them while the welcome Is still on our lips. He comes and He passes, because our hos pitality is short of duration and we are troubled about many things. IV« crowd Him out for other guests less radiant. If His dominion over the hearts of men were moro than a lovely episode, if He might but abide, It would be well with us. Whst He Was Afraid Of. An Irishman who was to undergo trial for theft was being comforted by his priest “Keep up your heart, Dennis, my boy. Take my word for It, you‘11 get Jus tice. '' “Troth, yer reverence," replied Dennis, in an undertone, “and that's Just what I am afraid of.” Need N * Help. From the St. Paul Press. A gun Is Invented that will bring down airships. Ut> to date the aviators have been able to coma down without u>« aid of a gun. A FEDERAL HEALTH BOARD, It Is gratifying to note that the bi’I for the creation of a federal health board will not be allowed to pass with" out a protest. Reports of organized rislstance come from all parts of tho country, and It may be that the oppo> sltion will soon be sufficiently solidi fied to defeat a project that promises Infinite mischief for the community, and suffering and injustice for the ini dividual. The proposal Is based upon those specious claims that are notoriously bard to controvert. If a federal health board were to confine its activities to the promulgation of salutary advicq upon hygienic matters, to the abate ment of quackery, and to the purity of drugs, it might be possible to say much In Its favor, although it would still be difficult to say that such an, organization Is needed. But we know that It will attempt to do far more than this, seeing that Its adherents have loudly proclaimed their Inten tions. Indeed, there Is no secrecy about them. It Is confidently expected that the board will consist of advo cates of one school of medicine only and that the methods of that school will be not only recommended, bu^ enforced upon the nation. Indeed a board that was In any way representa tive of the medical profession as a whole would be stultified by Its own disagreements. Outside the domain of simple hygiene, for which we need no federal board at all, there is no single point of medical practice upon which allopaths, homeopaths, eclectics and osteopaths could be In unison. Any board that could be devised by the wit of man must be composed of representatives of one school only, and this means that all other schools are branded as of an Inferior caste, even though nothing worse happened to them. And something worse would happen to them. If we are to establish a school of medicine. If we are to as sert that the government of the Unit ed States favors one variety of prac tice more than others, why not estab lish also a sect ot religion and be stow special authorities upon Bap tists, Methodists and Episcopalians? An established school of religious conjecture seems somewhat less ob jectionable than an established sect of pseudo-sclentlfic conjecture. Those who suppose that a federal board of health would have no concern with individual rights are likely to find themselves undeceived. It Is for the purpose of Interfering with indi vidual rights that the proposal has been made. We need no special knowledge of conditions to be aware that what may be called unorthodox methods of healing have made sad In roads into the orthodox. Homeopathy claims a vast number of adherents who are just as well educated and Just as Intelligent as those who adhere to the older school. Osteopathy, eclecti cism, and half a dozen other methods ^qf practice are certainly not losing ground. Beyond them is the vast and Increasing army of those who may bo classed tinder the genera! and vague name of mental healers. Those who are addicted to any of these forms of iunorthodoxy need have no doubt as to the purposes of the federal health board. Those purposes are to make It difficult for them to follow their particular fads and fancies, to lead them, and If necessary to drive them, from medical unorthodoxy to medica} orthodoxy. Now the Argonaut holds no brief for any of the excesses and the super stitions connected with the care of the body in which this age is so rife. But it does feel concerned for the preser vation of human liberty and for thq rights of the Individual to doctor him self In any way he pleases so long as he does not Indubitably threaten tha beaitb of the community. He may take large doses or small ones, or no doses at all; he may be massaged, anointed with oil, or prayed over, just as the whim of the moment may dic tate. and probably It makes no par ticle of difference which he does. But he has the right to choose, Just as ha chooses the color of his necktie or the character of his underclothing. It lq not a matter In which any wise gov ernment will seek to interfere. This Is precisely the liberty that the health board Intends to take from him, Orthodox medicine, conscious of its losses, Is trying to buttress Itself by federal statute, to exalt allopathy to the statUB of a privileged caste, and to create an established school of medicine just as some other countriei have allowed themselves to create an established school of religion. It la for the common sense of the commu nity to rebuke that effort and to re pel an unwarranted invasion upon ele mentary human rights.—Son Fran cisco Argonaut. CROUP IS A TERROR But there is a relief so quick, so sure, so thorough, that you never fear croup with this remedy at hand. Applied out side. not inside. Sedgwick’s Croup Liniment. All Druggists. Natural Deduction. "Papa, are lawyers always bad-tem pered?" "No. daughter; why do you ask that?" "Because I read so much in the pa pers about their cross-examinations." Kindred Spirits. "Lady," said Plodding Pete. "I aln* nad a square meal in two days.” “Well.” said the resolute Woman, as she turned the dog loose, "neither has Towser, so I know you’ll excuse him." _ _ The co-operative system of handling the apple crop of Nova Scotia has proved a decided success. The benefit of co-operative parking consists in a uniform pack, which secures a reputa tion fur apples thus put up M’MANIGAL AFRAID TO STICKJO CROWD First Dynamiter to Admit His Guilt Thought He Would “ Beat Others to It.” Los Angeles, Cal.—Ortle E. Mc-i Manigal was as glib and chipper as though his one-time friends were not it all near death or long imprisonment end as though he himself were free to do as he pleased. For more than an hour McManlgal i hatted with callers. He said he had not expected the McNamaras would lidmit their guilt so soon. He also de ilared that Job B. Harrlman, formerly a defense attorney and leader of the locialist ticket in the recent election, l.new the McNamaras were guilty. "This confession was something I didn't expect, at least not at this time,” paid McManlgal. “I always knew that J. J. would come through sooner or later. I figured that when he found out how cut and dried the case against Ills brother Jim was, he would plead Kuilty to save Jim’s life, but I thought that would come after he had heard the evidence, or enough of it. Why, If J. J. had ever seen what Burns Phowed me in a little back room In South Chicago, just after they pinched me, he’d have confessed right where he Stood. Well, his confession makes the first sensation, but there’s another and a bigger one coming. J. J. isn’t the top of the ladder. There are other men higher up.” “You mean that same of the promi nent labor leaders will be indicted?” “Well,” continued McManlgal, "be fore this federal investigation is over they are going to get some Others. Jim was my immediate boss, of course, but J. J. was the works. Jim and I traveled around together, and Jim used to stop at my house. He made the first test of his clockwork device on ihe front door bell of our house, and after that he used to sit in our parlor and make bombs evenings." Says His Wife Kntw. "Then your wife knew all the time what you and Jim were doing?” "Of course. She knew Jim as J. R Brice and as Frank Sullivan, and she knew what we were doing long ago. That’s all stuff about her saying she turned against me as soon as she knew I was guilty. Some one has won he’ over or else she was afraid of wha! people would think of her if she stuck by me. She used to get the money, too, $200 a Job. and put it in the bank. “Do you think that looks as if she knew what I was doing, and Jim sit ting right there In our house making bombs? And right here I want to say that Job Harrlman knew the McNa mara brothers were guilty, as well as Clarence Darrow did, and I suspect that Clarence Darrow's employer, Saot Gompers knew it too. though I can’t prove that. But I know Harrlman knew it. When the McNamara defense brought my wife and children and m? Uncle George out here to try and win me over, they and a Mrs. McGuire, q friend of my wife, all stayed at Job Harriman’s house. He Was Badly Shaken. "My wife knew I was guilty long be fore I confessed to Burns. She tried to win me over from turning state’s evidence by telling me Job Harrlman had the bag my gun and the clook and the wire and the other things were In. I thought they would double-cross me and I was badly shaken. I have been double-crossed before. You see when they got me and Jim we had bag3 with us and a lot of stuff in them bags was pretty strong evidence, so I figured that if this Job Harrlman (McManlgal pro nounces It Jobb) had my bag, maybe tho state did not have Buch a atroua case