Nebraska Newspapers

    CHICACO MERCHANT
MAKES STATEMENT.
After Spending Thousands of Dollar*
and Consulting the Most Eminent
Physicians. He Was Desperate.
CHICAGO, ILLS.—Mr. J. G.
Becker, of 134 Van Boren St., a
well-known wholesale dry goods
dealer, states as follows:
“I have had catarrh for more
than thirty years. Have tried
everything on earth and spent
thousands of dollars for other
medicines and with physicians,
without getting any lasting re
lief, and can say to you that I
have found Peruna the only rem
edy that has cured me per
manently.
“Peruna has also cured my
wife of catarrh. 8he always keeps
It in the house for an attack of
Cold, which it invariablycures in
a very short time.’"
The Lesser Evil.
From Boston Record.
A duck hunter returning from the
Maine shores tells a story typical of
the hardy men who live there. On one
of the islands near where he went lived
a man who acted as postman for the
few scHtti ring houses on tile Island, and
S'lio would row to the mainland every
lay and bring hack the mail, for which
he received 50 cents.
One morning during a terrific storm
the hunter saw the postman pull over;
Several times during the trip the boat
was nearly swamped, and the man In
danger of his life.
"Why in the world did you make that
trip?" asked the hunter, "surely not for
the 50 cents?”
"Well, you see.” replied the postman,
“If I miBs a trip I have to write a con
founded long letter to Washington ex
plaining why, and so I thought I hud
rather pull the boat.”
Hie Point of View.
Dr. Gerrnhunter—During the next
decade we may expect a moat wonder
ful decrease In mortality.
Mr. Graves (the undertaker)—Pessi
mist!
. DAVIS' PAINKILLER
■as no anbatitute. No other remedy la ao effective
for rhounibtlnm. himbnoo, atlffncaa neurnlela or
«old ol any sort Put upin 36c, 86c ami 60o bottles.
An Epitaph.
Twenty-five years ago, In Tombstone,
when that bloody murderer Geronlmo
was on ihe warpath, the editor of the
Care of the Body had editorial charge
or the Tombstone Epitaph. Here Is
another epitaph sent to the Medical
Brief by a physician who declares It
may be seen on a moss-grown tomb
stone. He says he sends It as a warn
ing to those who refuse to "doctor:”
"Here lies my wife, Samantha Proc
tor,
Who ketched a cold and wouldn't
doctor.
She couldn't stay, she had to go—
Praise God, from whom all blessings
flow."
Convincing, Is It not? Hun for the
doctor.
When a man gets married there Is
the license acid the preacher, and some
times the devil to pay, and still some
people think It Is not a costly procedure.
Sy™v;sRss
EWvx *$ Serna
acts gcuWx/ \/d \>vq\yx\%
cwWvc bowels; cleawses
\\xe system ejjecXuoXVy;
assists cuclwcvcTCQwnug
Vxabxlxval co\\st\pal\ov\
pamamxlly.
To Cetlls bewcJv&xaX
cjjecxs.alwax/s buv/ live
$un\\\\e,
° nANUFACTUPra BV THE
CALIFORNIA
Fig Syrup Co.
50 LD BY LEADING DRUGGISTS 50’A BOTTLE
■“B II F O PAY IF CURED
I I I We pay doiUs* nd Bead
A AA* A* V-/ FRF.E KKI> CROSS nu
and FUtala Cure.
REA CO.. 0£PT. 85, MINNEAPOLIS. NIBS
pSiifsIII
AGENTS wanted to introduce otir beautl
tul spring suitings, silks and fine cotton
fabrics. Large sample outfit free, by exp.
y re pci. No money requires. Liberal credit to
responsible agts. Write and secure terri
tory now. NATIONAL DRESS GOODS
CO.. iDept. B> 2tX> W. Broadway, New
York City.
ABOUT Tobacco and its effects. Book for
tobacco users and non-users. Instruc
tive reading Send |1.00 for copy, and
UJint’K terms, to the Slocum Publishing
Co.. Toledo, Ohio.,
A HARE chance to buy nice land adjoin
ing a railroad town In Panhandle coun
try. $12 per acre. Address Dalby, Middle
water, Texas.
--
A|yTFn Aetlreand ambitious young BASEBALL
nHItlLII PLAYKKN for 1910 minor leaguw
taama, to taka tb# plaea of players drafted by major
laagua clubs. Address Bu ill), RaekaaUr, M. V
SIOUX CITY P'T'G CO- 1,330-4, 1910
E WILD GEE
by Stanley J. Weyman.
——^————pA—
'Copyright, 1909, by Stanley J. VVeyman.)
CHAFTER XX.—(Continued.)
"Devil a doubt of it," said Asgill,
whose subtle1 brain had been at work.
"Not that it matters, bedad, for an Irish
gentleman will do his best. And to
morrow Colonel Sullivan, that’s more
knowledge of the- mode ana foreign
ways, will be back, and he’ll he help
ing bis cousin. More by token," he add
ed in a different tone, "you know him
of old?"
Payton, who bad frowned at the
name, reddened at the question. "Is
that," he asked, "the Colonel Sullivan
who-"
'Who tried the foils with Demoine at
Tralee?" Asgill cried heartily. "The
same and no other. He Is away today,
but he’ll be returning tomorrow, ami
he’ll be delighted to see you. And by
good luck there are foils in the house
and he’ll pass the time pleasantly with
you. It's he’s the hospitable creature!"
Payton was anything hut anxious to
see the man whose skill had turned the
joke against him, and his face betok
ened his feelings. Had he foreseen the
meeting lie would have left the job to
a subaltern. "Hang It!" he exclaimed,
vexed by the recollection. "A fine mess
you led me into there, Asgill.”
I did not know him then,” Asgill
replied lightly. "And, pho! Take my
word for it, lie’s no man to bear (
malice."
"Malice, begad!" Payton answered,
illhinnoredly. "I think it’s I-’’
"Ah, you are.right again, to be sure!"
Asgill agreed, laughing silently, for
already lie had formed a hope that the
guest might be manoeuvered out of the
house on the morrow. He knew Payton.
He knew the man’s arrogance, the con- ,
tempt in which he held the Irish, his
view of them as an inferior race. He
was sure that if he saw Flavin and
fancied her he was capable of any out- 1
rage, or if he learned her position in
regard to the estate he might prove a
formidable, if an honorable, competitor.
In either case to hasten tin■ man’s de- j
parture and to Induce Flavta to remain j
In the background in the meantime
became AsgiH’s chief aim.
James MeMurrough,* on the other
hand, saw in the unwelcome Intruder
an English officer, and, troubled by his
guilty conscience, he dreaded above all
things what he might discover. True,
the past was past, the plot spent, the
Spanish ship gone. But the Colonel
remained and in durance, and if by any
chance the Englishman stumbled on
him, heard his story and lived to carry
It hack to Tralee, the consequences
might ho such that a cold sweat broke
out on the young man’s brow at the
But he thrust the temptation from
him. He knew that it was not only
the stranger's presence that weighed
her down, but her recollection of the
man in the tower and his miserable
plight.
As he went on with Morty, he gave
him a hint to say as little in Payton's
presence as possible, "I know the
man," he explained, "and where he's
weak. I’m for seeing the back of him
as soon as we can, but without noise."
"There’s always the bog," grumbled
Morty.
"And the garrison at Tralee,” Asglll
rejoined dryly, "to ask where he Is?
And his troopers to answer the ques
tion."
Morty hade him manage it his own
way. "Only I'll trouble you not to
blame me," he added, "If the English
soger finds the colonel, and ruins us
entirely."
“I’ll not," Asglll answered pithily,
"if so be you'll hold your tongue."
So at supper that night Payton
looked in vain for the Kerry beauty
whose charms the warmer wits of the
mess had more than once painted in
hues rather florid than fit. Neverthe
less lie would have enjoyed himself
tolerably—nor the less because now
and again he let his contempt for the
company peep from under his com
plaisance—but for the obtuseness of
his friend; who. as if he had only one
man and one idea in his head, let fall
with every moment some mention of
Colonel John. Now. it was the happy
certainty of the colonel’s return next
day that Inspired his eloquence; now,
the pleasure with which the colonel
would meet Payton again; now, the
lucky chance that found a pair of new
foils on the window ledge.
“For he's ruined entirely and no one
to play with him!" Asglll continued, a
a twinkle in his eye. “No one, I'm
meaning, major, of his sort of force
at all! Begad, boys, you'll see some
fine fencing for once! You’ll think
ye’ve never seen any before. I’m doubt
ing."
"I'm not sure that I can remain to
morrow," Payton said in a surly tone.
Ho began to suspect that Asgill was
quizzing him. He noticed that every
time the justice named Colonel Sul
livan, men looked furtively at one an
other, or straight before them, as if
they were In a design, if that were so,
tile design could only be to pit Colonel
Sullivan against him, or to provoke
a quarrel between them. He felt a
qualm of apprehension, and he was
confirmed in the plan he had already
formed—to be gone next day. But in
flip mull nlittlil hla lomcoe .1 v_ I.
to carry the way into the enemy’s
country.
“I didn’t know,” he snarled, taking
Asgill up in the middle of an eulogy
of Colonel John’s skill, “that he was
so great a favorite of yours.”
"He was not,” Asgill replied dryly.
“He is now, it seems,” in the same
sneering tone.
"We know him better. Don’t we,
boys?”
They murmured assent.
"And the lady whose horse I shel
tered for you," the major continued,
spitefully watching for an opening—
"confound you, little you thanked me
for it—she must be still more in his
interest than you? And how does that
suit your book?"
Asgill had great self control, and the
major was not a close observer. But
the thrust was so unexpected that on
the Instant Payton read the other-se
cret in his eyes—knew that he loved,
and knew that he was jealous. Jealous
of Sullivan; Jealous of the man whom
he was for some reason praising. Then
why not jealous of a younger, a more
fashionable rival? Asgill’s cunningly
reared plans began to sink, and even
while he answered he knew it.
"She likes him," he said, “as we all
do."
"Some more, some less," Payton an
swered with a grin.
"Just so," the Irishman returned,
controlling himself. "Some more, some
less. And why not, I’m asking?"
"I think I must stay over tomor
row," Payton remarked, smiling at the
celling. "There must be a good deal
to be seen here."
"Ah, there is," Asgill answered in ap
parent good humor.
"Worth seeing, too, I'll be sworn!”
the Englishman replied, smiling more
broadly.
"And that’s true, too!" the other re
joined.
He had himself in hand, and it was
not from him that the proposal to
break up the party came. The major
It was who at last pleaded fatigue
Englishmen's heads, he said, were
stronger than their stomachs; they
were a match for port, but not for
claret. ,
"You should correct it. major, with a
little cognac," The McMurrough sug
gested politely.
"Not tonight, and. by your leave. I'll
have my man called and go to bed."
"It’s early," James McMurrough said,
playing the host.
"It Is, but I’ll have my man and go
to bed." Payton answered, with true
British obstinacy. “No offense to any
\n 1,11ml. i •» miu iu him uinim, ,
Payton, whose mind was secretly occu
pied with the Colonel, sought to evince
his Indifference by changing the sub
ject, and in doing so hit on one singu
larly unfortunate.
“A pretty fair piece of water," he I
said, rising with an affected yawn. “The 1
tower at the head of it—It's grown too j
dark to see it—Is it inhabited?"
The MeMurough started guiltily.
"The tower?" lie stammered. Could it !
bo that the man knew all and was here
to expose him? His heart stood still,
then raced.
“The Major'll be meaning the tower
oil the rock,” Asglll said smoothly, but
With a warning look. "Ah, sure. It'll
be used at times, Major, for a prison,
you understand."
"Oh!"
"lint we’ll be better to be moving In
side, I’m thinking,” he continued.
Payton assented. He was still brood
ing on his enemy, the Colonel. Curse
the man, he was thinking. Why couldn't
lie keep out of Ills way?
"Take the Major In, McMurrougli,"
Asglll said, who feared Klavla and
Morty O'Belrne might arrive from the
Tower. "You'll like to get rid of your
boots before supper, Major." he went
an. "Bid Darby send the Major's man
to him, McMurrougli; or, better, I’ll be
going to the stables myself and I'll be
telling lilm!”
As the others went in Asglll strolled
toward the stables. But when they
had passed out of sight he turned and
walked along the lake to meet the girl
and her companion. As he walked he
luul time to decide how he might best
deal with Klavia and how much he
should tell her. When he met them,
theremore-—by this time the night was
falling—his first question related to
that which an hour before had been the
one preoccupation of all their minds.
"Well,” he said, "he’ll not have yield- .
ed yet, I am thinking?"
Dark as it was. the girl averted her
face to hide the trouble in her eyes.
She shook her heud. "No," she said,
“he has not."
"I did r.ot count on it," Asglll replied
cheerfully. "But time —time and him- I
ger and patience— not. a doubt he’ll give
in presently."
She did not answer, but he fancied— i
she kept her face averted—that she ;
shivered.
“While you have been away some
thing has happened,” he continued. Aft
er all, It was perhaps as well, he re
flected, that Payton had come. His
nnmlmr ovon If Vluvln flirt lint nni-min.
ter him, would prevent her dwelling
too long on that room In the tower
nnd on the man who famished there.
She hated tin- colonel, Asgill believed.
She had hated him. he was sure. But
how long would she continue to bate
him In these circumstances? How
long, If she learned what were the
colonel's feelings toward her? "An un
welcome guest has come," he continued
glibly, "and one that'll be giving trou
ble, I'm fearing."
"A guest?" Flavin repeated in aston
ishment. She halted. What time for
guests was this? “And unwelcome?"
she added. "Who Is it?"
“An English officer," Asgill ex
plained, “from Tralee. He is saying
that the castle has heard something
and has sent him here to look about
him." |
Naturally the dang' r seemed greater
to the two than to Asgill. who knew
his man. Words of dismay broke from
Flavin and O'Belrne. "From Tralee?"
she cried. "And an English officer?
Good heavens! Do you know him?”
“I do." Asgill answered confidently.
“And 1 can manage him. I hold him,
like that, not the least doubt of it;
hut (lie less we'll be doing for him
the sooner he'll he going and the safer
we'll be! I would not be so bold as
to advise." he continued, diffidently,
"but I'm thinking It would be no worse
if you left him to be entertained by
the men."
"I will!" she cried. "Why should 1
be wanting to see him?”
"Then I think he'll be ordering his
horse tomorrow!"
"I wish he were gone now!" she
cried.
"Ah. so do I!" he replied, from his
heart.
"I will go In through the garden,"
she said.
He assented. She turned aside, and
for a moment he bent to the tempta
tion to go with her. He was sure that
she had begun, not only to suffer Ills
company, but to suffer It willingly.
And here, as she passed through the
darkling garden, was an opportunity
of making a further advance. She
would have to grope her way, a rea
son for taking her hand might offer,
and—his head grew hot at the thought.
"There's none will take it here," As- I
gill answered. "An Irishman's house is I
his guest's castle. "But, knowing that
Payton liked his glass, he wondered, I
until it occurred to him that the other !
wished to have his hand steady for the I
sword play next day.
The McMurrough, who had risen,
took a look and attended his guest to
his room. Asgill and the O'Beirnes re
mained seated at the table, the young
men scoffing at the Englishman's con
ceit of himself, Asgill silent and down
cast. His scheme of ridding himself
of Payton had failed; but it remained
to face the situation. He did not dis
trust Elavia but he distrusted Payton—
his Insolence, his violence, and the
privileged position which his duellist's
skill gave him. And then •there was
Colonel John, If Payton learned what
was afoot at the tower, and saw his
way to make use of it, the worst might
happen to all concerned.
He looked up at a touch from Morty,
and to his astonishment he saw Elavia
standing at the end of the table. There
was a hasty scrambling to the feet, for
the men had not drunk deep, and by
all in the house—except her brother—
the girl was treated with respect.
"1 was thinking," Asgill said, fore
seeing trouble, "that you were in bed
and asleep." Her hair was tied back
negligently and her dress half fastened
at the throat.
"1 cannot sleep," she answered. And
then she stood a moment drumming
with her slender fingers on the table,
and tlie men noticed that she was un
usually pale. "I cannot sleep.' she re
peated, a tremor in her voice. "I keep
thinking of him- I want some one—
to go to him."
"Now ?"
"Now!”
"But," Asgill said slowly, “I'm think- ;
Ing that to do that were to give him
holies. It were to spoil all Once in
24 houra—th.tt was agreed. And it is
not four hours since you were there.
If there is one thing needful, not the
least doubt of it!—it Is to leave him
thinking that we're meaning it."
He spoke reasonably. But the girl
labored under a weight of agitation
that did not suffer her to reason.
"But if he dies?" she cried in .a woe
ful tone. "If he dies of hunger? Oh,
my God, of hunger! What have we
done then? I tell you,” she continued.
1 cannot bear it! I cannot bear it!”
She looked from one to the other as
appealing to each in turn to share her
horror, and to act. "It is wicked, it is
wicked!” she continued, in a shriller
tone and with a note of defiance in
her voice, "and who will answer for it
if he does? I—not you! I, who tricked
him, who lied to him, who lured him
there!”
For a moment there was a stricken
rilence In the room. Then, "And what
had he done for her?” Asgill retorted
with spirit—for he saw that if he did
not meet her on her own plane she was
capable of any act, however ruinous.
"Or, If not to you, to Ireland, to your
king, to your country, to your hopes?"
He flung into his voice all the indigna
tion of which he was roaster. "A trick
you say? Was it not by a trick he
ruined all? The fairest prospect, the
brightest day that ever dawned for Ire
land! The day of freedom, of liberty,
of"——
She twisted her fingers feverishly to
gether.
. "Yes,” she said, “ye*! Yes, but I
can't bear it! It is no use talking," she
continued, with a violent shudder. "You
are here—look!” she pointed to the
table strewn with the remains of the
meal. "But he is—starving! Starving!”
she repeated, as if the physical pain
touched herself.
"You shall go to him tomorrow. Go
yourself,” he replied in a soothing tone.
"I?" she cried. "Never!”
"Oh, but"- Asgill began, perplexed
but not surprised by her attitude. “But
there’s your brother,” he continued, re
lieved. "He will tell you, I’m sure, that
nothing can be so harmful as to change
now. "Your sister," he went on, ad
dressing The McMurrough, who had
lust descended the stairs, “she’s wish
ing some one will go to the Colonel and
see if he’s down a peg. But I'm telling
her”
"It’s folly entirely, you should be
telling her,” James McMurrough re
plied, curtly and roughly. "Tomorrow
it sunset, and not an hour earlier, he'll
be visited. And then it'll be you,
Flawy, that'll speak to him. What
more Is It you’re wanting?"
"I speak to him?” she cried, “I
wouldn’t!"
rsiu it 11 oe you u nave to, ne re
plied roughly. •• Wasn't it so arranged?"
"I couldn’t!" she replied, in the same
tone of trouble. “Some one else—if you
like.”
“But it's not some one else will do,”
lames retorted.
“But why should I be the one—to
go?” she walled. She had Colonel John's
face before her, haggard, sunken, fam
ished, as, peering into the gloomy, fire
lit room, she had seen it that after
noon.
“For a very good reason,” her broth
er retorted with a sneer. He looked at
\sgill and laughed.
That look startled her as a flash of
light startles a traveler groping
through darkness. “Why?" she repeat
ed, In a different tone.
But neither her tone nor AsgiU's
glance put James McMurrough on his
guard; he was in one of his brutal hu
mors. “Why?” he replied. “Because
he's a silly fool, as I'm thinking some
others are, and has a fancy for you,
Flawy. Faith, you're not blind," he
continued, “and know it, I'll be sworn,
as *vell as I do. Anyway, I’ve a notion
that If you let him see that there is
no one in the house wishes him worse
than you, or would see him starve with
a lighter heart—I'm thinking it will be
for bringing him down, if anything
will.”
She did not answer. Outwardly she
was not much moved, but Inwardly the
horror of herself which she had felt as
she lay upstairs in the darkness, think
ing of the starving man, choked her.
They were using her because the man—
loved her! Because hard words, cruel
treatment, brutality from her would be
10 times more hard, more cruel, more
brutal than from others! Because such
treatment at her hands would be more
likely to break his spirit and crush his
heart! To what viler use, to what
lower end could a woman be used or
human feeling be prostituted?
Nor was this all. On the tide of this
loathing of herself rose another, a
stranger feeling. The man loved her.
She did not doubt that statement. Its
truth came home to her at once. And
because it placed him in a light in
which she had never viewed him before, j
because it recalled a hundred things, !
lets, words on his part which she had
barely noted at the time, it showed him,
too, as one whom she had never seen.
Bad he been free, prosperous, triumph
int, the knowledge that he loved her,
:hat he, her enemy, loved her, might
have revolted her—she might have
bated him the more for it. But now
hat he lay a prisoner, famished, starv
ng. the fact that he loved her touched
ter 1 cart, transfixed her with an al
lbost poignant feeling, choked her with
1 rising flood of pity and self reproach.
"So there you have it. Flawy!”
fames cried complacently. “And sure,
pou'U not be making a fool of yourself
it this time of day!”
(Continued Next Week.)
I— 1 . _ • ■
SO KIND OK HKK.
Mrs. W. —Are you really going to glv*
your husband a table for Christmas?
Mrs. B.—Yes—er—that Is, It’s a sewing
machine that drops down when It isn't
in use. so that the top may be used aj
a table.
Early Surgery.
Benvenuto Cellini (1500-1571) tells of
early Italian surgery. He had got a
bit of chipped steel in his eye, "so far
Into the pupil that it was impossible to
get it out. so that I was In very great
danger of losing that eye.” But the
surgeon came to the rescue with the
pigeons. "The surgeon, making me lie
upon my back, with a little knife
opened a vein in each of their wings, so
that the blood ran Into my eye, and I
was thereby greatly relieved. In the
«paee of two days the hit of steel Issued
from my eye, and I found that I had re
ceived considerable ease, and In a great
measure recovered my sight.”
A Sure Winner.
Josh—How did Swift manage to se
cure the nomination? He has no polit
ical Intiuence, has he?
Bosh—-No; but he’s simply rolling in
aff.%ence.
I I
EBEN'S FAULT.
Mr. Farmer—Well, by grass'. Th
pesky thermometer hes bln a-standin’
purty near zero the hull day.
Mfs. Farmer—What else could you ex
pect, Eben? Yew would leave it a-hangr
In' out on th' back porch In th’ col</
'stead uv brlngln’ it In th’ house.
GEORGE BERNARD
SHAW’S OPINION
OF WOMANKIND
G. Bernard Shaw, in New York World.
Some men who know a great deal
about women can't be induced to ad
mit it. There is Edward Bok. for ex
ample, editor of the Ladies' Home
Journal, who, when interviewed re
cently on the subject of the eternal
feminine, remarked demurely, "Con
sidering all the years I have known,
loved and worked for women I know
absolutely nothing about them, and
am utterly unable to say anything in
regard to them.”
But one connoisseur in dames is less
bashful He is George Bernard Shaw,
the daring English dramatist, who
with play and novel and criticism of
life and literature has been incessant
ly characterizing la femme, in all her
tju.* Kfa feuiovo, 1UI IIIUIIJ J W.
And here are just a few of the
things he declares he has found out
about her:
The ordinary woman's business is
to get married.
Women begin to be socially toler
able at 30, and improve until the deep
ening of their consciousness Is
checked by the decay of their facul
ties. But they begin to be pretty much
earlier than 30, and are indeed some
times at their best in that respect
long before their chattering is, apart
from the illusions of sex, to be pre
ferred in serious moments, to the si
lent sympathy of an intelligent pet an
imal.
Two Americans of the fair sex have
been not unknown to me. One is that
glorious and beautiful phenomenon
the “heartless" rich American woman,
who so thoroughly and admirably un
derstands that conscience is a luxury
and should be indulged in only when
the vital needs of life have been
abundantly satisfied.
The other is that most awful em
bodiment of virtue and decorum the
intellectual American lady.
In every case the relationship be
tween the woman and the man is the
same; she is the pursuer and contriv
er, he the pursued and disposed of.
When she is baffled, like Ophelia, she
goes mad and commits suicide; and
the man goes straight from her fu
neral to a fencing match.
“Womanly self-sacrifice" is an es
sentially manly weakness.
He who desires a lifetime of happi
ness with a beautiful woman desires
to enjoy the taste of wine by keeping
his mouth always full of it.
The formation of a young lady’s
mind and character usually consists
in telling her lies.
Women do not mind Ill-usage so
much, because the strongest position
for a woman Is that of a victim.
It is the self-sacrificing women that
sacrifice others most ruthlessly. I
know a poor wretch whose one desire
in life is to run away from his wife.
She prevents him by threatening to
throw herself in front of the engine
of the train he leaves on. That is
what all women do.
No woman looks her best after sit
ting up all night.
A lady who is invariable exceeding
ly disagreeable is in consequence held
to be exceedingly good.
Mrs. Tanqueray was received with
delight by the public; Saint Teresa
would have been hissed off the same
stage for her contempt for the ideal
represented by a carriage, a fashion
able dressmaker and a dozen servants.
In the past women have rather liked
being worshiped on false pretenses.
In America they still do.
Women spend half their lives tell
ing little lies for men, and sometimes
Ulg UI1CO.
When women are offended they do
not group themselves pathetically to
sing "Protegga il Giusto Cielo!” they
grasp formidable legal and social
weapons and retaliate.
A man who discusses his conscience
is much like a woman who discusses
her modesty.
If women were as fastidious as men.
morally or physically, there would be
an end of the race.
Sometimes we grumble ungallantly
at a lady because she does not act as
well as she looks.
When a lady, because she is a lady,
will face any extremity of parasitic
dependence rather than take a situa
tion as a cook or parlor maid, we
make large allowances for her.
"I cannot understand why she is so
unlucky; she is such a nice woman!”
That is the formula. As if women
with any force in them ever were al
together nice!
The whole world is strewn with
snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the
capture of men by women.
The Kternal Feminine draws us ever
upward and on—without getting us a
step further.
Literary and cultured persons have,
been for years setting up the cry of
the New Woman whenever some un
usually old-fashioned female came
along.
Man is no longer victor in the duel
of sex. Whether he has ever really
been, may be doubted. At all events,
the enormous superiority of Woman's
natural position in this matter is tell
ing with greater and greater force.
Who Can Tell?
Men “visibly intoxicated” and con
scious of a lingering thirst will ask
for another drink at their peril if the
Pennsylvania legislature passes a bill
introduced by Representative M. Wat
son, of Indiana county. Mr. Watson
would make the price of that partic
ular drink, or even the request thereof.
$5 to $20. It is unlawful now for a
saloon keeper to sell to a man "visibly
intoxicated." or to an habitual drunk
ard or a minor, but the present law
imposes all responsibility upon the
saloon keeper to determine the man's
condition. Representative Watson
would shift some of the responsibility
on the man with the thirst; also upon
the habitual drunkard and the minor
who would ask a saloon keeper to vio
late the law. His bill proposes a fine
of from $5 to $20 for each attempt to
get a drink under the circumstances.
T
Munyon’s Paw Paw Pllla coax tha
liver into activity by gentle methods. «
They do not scour, gripe or weaken. They
are a tonic to the stomach, liver and
nerves; invigorate instead of weaken.
They enrich the blood and enable the
stomach to get all the nourishment f'~m
food that is put into it. These pills coijr
tain no calomel: they are soothing, hew
ing and stimulating. For sale by all drug
gists in 10c and 25c sizes. If you need
medical advice, write Munyon’s Doctors.
They will advise to the best of their abil
ity absolutely free of Charge. 31 UN
YON'S, 53d and Jefferson Sts., Phil
adelphia, Pa.
Munyon’s Cold Remedy cures a cold in
one day. Price 25c. Munyon’s Rheuma
tism Remedy relieves in a few hours and
cures a few days. Price 25c.
Barnyard Optimism.
Fluffs, the Chick—Hey, mother! Look
at that guy. Ain’t he just dressed to
kill?
Madam Kaduck, the Hen—That’s not
so bad as being killed to dress.
kn. Wllllow'l SooTHuro Srxvp for Ch!ldrv*
ttetblng, «oft«Di thfl gums, redacet tnfl&mmaU oa.
• lUliptU. cur«s wind colic. 2fio a bottle.
Are You In On a “Pass.”
From the Novelty News.
There is a story about the man whe
went to see ‘Hamlet” played by a
“barnstormer” company in a frontier
town. The play was awful and the
acting a scandal, even for so crude
a town. Everyone in the audience
threw eggs or vegetables, or hissed
and caterwauled; everyone except the
hero of the story. He was silent. His
silence attracted general attention.
“Why don’t you hiss, pard?” said
his next door neighbor. “Do you think
it’s good? It’s rotten! You ought to
hiss, or heave a cabbage, or do some
thing to show the actors how you feel
about It.”
“That's so,” replied our hero. “I
ought to do It—and I will! Here, hold
my hat while I go out and buy a ticket.
You see, I’m in here on a billboard
pass.”
How He Got Even.
From Success Magazine.
A traveling man who stutters spent
all afternoon in trying to sell a grouchy
business man a bill of goods, and was
not very successful.
As the salesman was locking up his
grip the grouch was Impolite enough
to observe In the presence of his clerks:
"You must find that impediment in
your speech very inconvenient.”
"Oh, n-no,” replied the salesman.
“Everyone has his peculiarity. S-stam
mering is mine. What’s y-yours?"
"I'm not aware that I have any,” re
plied the merchant.
“D-do you stir your coffee with your
right hand?” asked the salesman.
“Why, yes, of course,” replied tho
merchant.
“W-well,” went on the salesman,
"t-that’s your p-peculiarity. Most
people use a teaspoon.”
Was Doing Her Best.
From Success Magazine.
William Pruette, the singer, tells of
a servant girl who came to Mrs. Pru
ette in tears and asked permission to go
home for a fetv days. She had a tele
gram saying her mother was sick.
"Certainly you may go,” said Mrs.
Pruette, "only don’t stay longer than
is necessary, as we need you."
A week passed, and not a word from
her. Then came a note which read:
“Dear Miss Pruette 1 will be back
next week an plese kep my place for
mo mother is dying as fast as she
can."
Give a spendthrift time and he will
get over the habit.
WHEN DINNER COMES
One Opfclit to Hnve a Good Appetite.
A good appetite is the best sauce. It
goes a long way toward helping in the
digestive process, and that is absolute
ly essential to health and strength.
Many persons have found that Grape
Nuts food is not only nourishing but
is a great appetizer. Even children
like the taste of it and grow strong
and rosy from its' use.
It is especially the food to make a
weak stomach strong and create an
appetite for dinner.
“I am 57 years old,” writes a Tenn.
grandmother, “and have had a weak
stomach from childhood. By great
care as to my diet I enjoyed a reason
able degree of health, but never found
anything to equal Grape-Nuts as a
standby.
“When I have no appetite for break
fast and just eat to keep up my
strength, 1 take i teaspoonfuls of
Grape-Nuts with good rich milk, and
when dinner - comes I am hungry.
While if I go without any breakfast
I never feel like eating dinner. Grape
Nuts for breakfast seems to make a
healthy appetite for dinner.
“My little 13-months-old grandson
had been very sick with stomach trou
ble during the past summer, and final
ly we put him on Grape-Nuts. Now
he is growing plump and well. When
asked if he wants his nurse or Grape
Nuts, he brightens up and' points to
the cupboard. He was no trouble to
wean at all—thanks to Grape-Nuts."
Read the little book, “The Road to
Wellville," in pkgs. "There’s a Rea
son."
Ever read the above letter? A ,
new one appears from time to time.
They are genuine, true, and fuli of
human interest.