THE TIME TO SLEEP AND THE
TIME TO WORK SOLVED
Edward Everett Hale In Woman’s Home
Companion.
People talk about the midnight oil
os if it had some virtue attached to it.
In truth, four times out of five the
midnight oil means overwork, or it
means that you have neglected some
duty which should have been attended
to before the sun went down.
The physiological study of the last
century has taught us a good deal
about sleep. Dr. Franklin, who has
written on the subject of sleeplessness,
did not know what we know. We know
that In healthy sleep the circulation
of the blood in the brain Is less than
It has been in the waking hours. If
by any misfortune, or any folly, or
any wickedness of yours, the blood
presses upon the brain, you do not
•leep. Galen, the old Greek physician,
supposed that In sleep the blood ves
sels of the brain are more heavily
gorged than In the waking hours. We
know now that when these vessels are
too heavily gorged the result Is stupor,
under whatever name you choose to
give It. And we know that what we
need, when we cannot sleep, is to cor
rect this overcrowding of blood.
There are many ways in which we
can do this. And to speak very simply,
all care about insomnia in the temple
of God is founded on this physiological
truth. Have not you some fine old
grandfather or uncle who likes to sit
In the winter evening with his feet
stretched out before the fore log, while
ho is totastlng his feet In the heat of
the hickory? He knows more about
sleep than Galen did. For ne Is draw
ing the blood off his brain, and he
Is assuring himself a few hours of
sleep, at least, as the night begins.
And you may follow 3-our dear old
uncle’s example, to advantage. If you
have been fooling by writing some ex
asperating letter In the evening, or
reading some exciting novel, you
have set. your brain all on fire. It
seems as If the pillow case Itself
would be In a light blaze. And this
means Insomnia.
Ret this be a peremptory warning to
you. Never again make of the even
ing a time for heavy brain work. Make
Mary play on the piano to you. If the
authorities of your church will let you
play a game of crlbbage or of whist
With your wife with two dummies. If
you can. go over to the Roscommons
or to the Joneses*and have half an
flour’s talk.
That Is to say, do your brain work
•early in the day. If you say so, I will
let you get out of bed at 5 in the
morning; If you will drink a cup of cof
fee at once, or drink a glass- of milk
and eat a biscuit, you may go to work
then on the hardest work you have to
do. But let Angela or Bertha have your
breakfast ready within an hour. I let
you do this so that the exasperating
letter or the difficult calculations may
be out of the way as early as possible.
And I am not writing so much for
women in this matter as I am for men
—and mostly for men whose work con
corns the welfare of others. Doctors
are terrible offenders in ibis matter,
though they know better. When they
have delicate and difficult cases in hand
they will sit up at night for hours
reading up this or that authority which
will help them tho next day. They
should go to bed at night and sleep all
that the doorbell will permit. But
now, if they want to, let them turn
out at 6 o’clock in the morning and
study in all those live hours between 6
and 10 when people do not want to see
them.
The cashiers of banks, the responsible
officers of other great fiduciary insti
tutions, make the same mistake. Thus,
the executive director of the Methus
elah Life Insurance company has its
onerous business on his mind and con
science. Poor man! he Is certain that
he ought to give his best work to that
business. He goes down town at 8,
so ns to be at the office before any
body else is. For eight hours he works
like a dog, and then he goes home to
his jjice wife and his pretty children in
the pretty suburb called New Arcadia,
Mary has everything ready for a nice
dinner. And then the poor man goes
into his own Utile den and goes to
work again—this time on what he calls
ills “own business.” His brotherinlaw
wants him to Invest In the Cattaraugus
& Opelousas railroad. John Smith, his
tenant In Buncombe county, thinks
they had better have a new dam on
the Swift river. Or the president of
ihe New Padua university wants him
to write to.Mr. Carnegie for $100,000.
And the poor actuary gives up two or
three of those precious hours of the
evening in studying out these letters
and writing the answers. And when
bedtime comes he is dead beat, he can
hardly get ills clothes off, and he can
hardly get into bed. He ought not to
be surprised and I should not he sur
prised if I heard that his poor heated |
brain did set the pillow case on fire
and that they were all burned up to- !
gether. I am not surprised when, uf- '
ter some years of such experiments, I
hear that he has committed suicide. I
Without attempting the detail, it is
enough here to say that you need to i
give the first half of your 14 hours of ,
waking lift- to the more Important or j
necessary duties of tho day. If you get !
out of bed at 6, everything of critical j
importance should be well out of tho |
way before 2 in the afternoon. After
that hour you let the poor old machine ]
which you call the body rest itself. |
Strictly speaking, the relief of the brain
should begin right there. You may go
to walk or to ride. You may lie on the '
lawn or blow off the -feathers of the j
dandelion. You may Tide over to your ;
mother’s and play with the children. |
You may swing in a hammock and look !
up through the leaves to the sky. In
a word, you have done with the day’s
greater activities until the next morn
ing at 0. Unless each night recovers the
ground lost in the exertion of the day
before you are committing suicide by
Inches: and you have no right to com
mit suicide at all.
MEDITATIONS ON
AN ANCIENT THEME
.The Inexplicable “Something”
That Attracs People With
Ho Interests in Gommon.
t.
F* ——
Prom Harper'* Weekly.
The casual philosopher was talking
about something that he called "the
most mysterious and extraordinary
force known to the observation of men”
•—that slnguar emotion which ensues
between two human beings of opposite
■sex. and an obedience to which may,
■Involve the surrender of reason, wis
dom and honor. He quoted the query
of an earlier philosopher of himself—
“What Is more pitiable than a wise
man at the mercy of his emotions?”
"Has the world ever explained,” he
asked, "'he nature of the force which
draws together irresistibly two persons
having no mental, spiritual, tempera
• mental, or social affinity whatsoever;
■whose predilections and Instincts, may
be radically and unalterably opposed?
What Is the nature of the force which
ts able to supersede and set at naught
these natural antipathies? And ob
serve,” he continued, "the strange man
••per of its workings. These two beings
-of opposite sex have known each other
•slightly, casually for a space of time.
Then, without any Increase of mutual
fntlmacy, a curious and subtle altera
tion will take place In the feeling of
one of the two toward the other. It
need not be, often It Is not. In response
to any outward change In their rela
tionship. It springs stealthily Into be
ing like a email flame; the manner of
Its Igniting ts hidden and Inexplicable.
It may continue and increase and ut
terly overwhelm; It may purify and
exalt; or It may subside and vanish,
as mysterious as it appeared. It may
be quite free of physical impulse; It
may bo wholly Imaginative and con
templative. But why? why? We know
that our friendships aro conditioned
and governed by common sympathies,
by closeness of association, by com
munity of taste and inclination. Wo
know that the love of kindred Is a re
sult of blood relationships. But what
Is the origin and nature of this tyran
nical, imperious, fortuitous force which
operates in defiance of logic, fitness,
■and all that we know of the laws of
■attraction?
i no mountain to me rme.
Here is a sonnet eloquent of a "blind
man's power of vision. The poet writer.
Clarence Hawkes, has been blind since
childhood. Helen Kellar preserves it in
the Century.
Thou tail, majestic monarch of the wood,
That standest where no wild vines dare
to creep:
lien call thee old, and say that thou
hast stood
A century upon my rugged steep;
Yet unto me thy life is hut a day
When I recall the things that I have
seen—
The forest monarchs that have passed
away
Upon the spot where first I saw thy
green;
-For I am older than the age of man,
Or all the living things that crawl or
creep,
Or birds of air, or creatures of the deep;
X was the first ditn outline of God’s plan:
Only the waters of the restless sea
And the Infinite stars in heaven are old
to me.
.Old Coins Found on Plum Island.
From the Boston Post.
"That Plum island may become in real
life what Stevenson's "Treasure Island"
ia In fiction is the opinion of hundreds of
people as the result of the announcement
of the finding of several old coins there
recently. The coins, which were picked
up on the beach by Albert Leet, a mem
ber of the Knobbs life saving crew, are
believed by many io be part of a buc
caneer's treasure.
The find, 1: has leaked out, was made
Sate last fell Just before the frost got Into
.the ground «nd the snow began to fall.
While patrolling the beach one day Leet
•aw something shiny in the sand that et
traded his attention. Stooping, he picked j
the object up. and to his surprise saw that
It was a silver coin of ancient milling. A
few days later ho picked up several others
near the same place. He then became in
terested, and was about to systematically
dig up the ground In the vicinity when the
first snowfall appeared.
The ground got so hard that he decided
to postpone It until spring. Leet, who has
marked the spot carefully, refuses to let
anybody else In on the secret as to the
whereabouts of the "treasure spot." That
there is more of the ancient money where
the coins were found is the general be
lief.
The coins found are dated 1721, 1749 end
1783. All are either English or Spanish.
One was made in the reign of Charles III.
Another dated 1721 was coined in the
reign of Philip III. A Spanish coin bears j
the name and head of Don Carlos. All
are of queer design and the milling is ex
tremely odd.
Near the piece where the money was i
found a number of old silver shoe buckles
were picked up some years ago. Not far '
from the spot, popular rumor has it, a !
body was uncovered by the waves several
years ago. This, it is said, was burled
again at about the same place.
On a Footing.
From the Youth’s Companion.
Absalom Footo, an eccentric old man,
who had grown tired of life in the city,
decided to move to some smaller town, 1
free from the roar of traffic, the bustle 1
of confusion of the thronging multi- j
tude, where he could end his days tran- j
qullly, as became a man of bis age. In
casting about for a location bis eye j
chanced to light upon the advertise
ment of a village paper, of one Thomas
R. Foote, who wanted to dispose of his
boot and shoe store, at a bargain, hav
ing made up his mind to remove to
the city.
“That’s the very th'ng,” he said,
“selling shoes is a nice, easy occupa
tion. It will give me just enough to
do to keep me from stagnating, and It
won’t wear me out with overwork. I'll
Investigate It. It’s queer, though, that
his name is Foote, my name Is Foote,
he wants to come to the city, and I
want to go to the country.”
A visit to the little town decided him.
He liked Its appearance and location.
He was pleased, moreover, with
“Foote’s shoe store,” and bought It,
good will and all, at a bargain.
“Well,” said the other Mr. Foots,
“you'll have to change the sign.”
“No,” he answered, slowly, “I’ll just
add a little to it.”
Tho next day he added this. Just be
low the sign:
“This place has changed feet."
Smith on His Travels.
From the Phrenological Journal.
John Smith—plain John Smith—is
not very high sounding; it does not
suggest aristocracy; it is not the name
of any hero in die-away novels; and
yet it is good, strong and honest. Trans
ferred to other languages It seems to
climb the ladder of respectability. Thus
in I.atin it is Johannus Smtthus; the
Italian smooths it off into Giovanni
Smith!; the Spaniards render it Juan
Smlthus; the Dutchman adopts it as
Hans Schmidt: the French flatten it
out into Jean Smeet, and the Russian
sneezes and barks Jonioff Smittowski.
When John Smith gets Into the tea
trade in Canton he becomes Jovan
Shlmmit; if he clambers about Mount
Hecla, the Icelanders say be is Jahne
Smithson; if lie trades among the Tus
caroras, he becomes Ton Qa Smitta: in
Poland he is known as Ivan Sehmltti
weiski; should lie wander among the
Welsh mountains, they talk of Jihon
Schmldd; when be goes to Mexico he
Is booked as Jontli F'Smitti; if of
classic turn and he lingers among Greek
ruins, he turns to 'ton Smikton, and in
Turkey he is utterly disguised as Yoe
Seef.
The Millionaire Got Her.
A poet wooed the maiden sweet.
Yet got it In the neck;
He wrote her perfect verses, but
He couldn't write a check.
It Sounded Heartless.
Elaine—Were you much hurt in the
auto accident?
Donald—Just the merest scratch.
Elaine—I'm so sorry.
WOMEN ARE THE
SOUL OF HONOR
... - —.
Mr. Bateman Proved His Case,
But Didn’t Relate the
Sequel.
From the New York Times.
One of several men employed In a
downtown office boisterously proclaimed
the time honored principle that women
are devoid of principle.
"They are tricky to the core, every
mother's daughter of them," he said.
"They don’t know what honesty
means.”
Mr. Bateman resented the Imputa
tion.
"I don’t believe a word of that,” he
said. "Women have just as sound prin
ciples as men. Take my wife, for in
stance. She is the soul of honor. You
couldn’t hire her to do a tricky thing,
Just let me tell you what a trump she
showed herself to be a week ago. She
was coming home from the matinee.
While crossing Broadway she found a
package that had evidently been
dropped from the platform of a car.
Obviously there was no way of catch
ing the car and restoring the package,
so of course she brought it home. It
contained six yards of beautiful creamy
lace. The check said It had been paid
for and cost $13.50.
"Now, my wife had two wraps whoso
sleeves needed remodeling, and, human
nature being what it is, her first
thought was that she could utilize the
lace for trimming. But her spirit of
rectitude triumphed.
“ ‘No,’ she said, ’I won't use the lace.
I will take it back to the store. Pos
sibly the person who lost it will Inquire
about it at the lost and found depart
ment.’
"I advised her to keep the lace and
not bother about the woman who had
lost it. My wife seemed startled at my
iniquity.
jr l return it ana me loser aoesn i
call for the lace, what will become of
it?’ she asked. •
“ 'The store will gobble it up,’ said I,
‘and sell it over again. It belongs to
you Just as much as to them.’
"But she was resolute. ‘Possibly you
are right,’ she said, ‘but I cannot keep
what is not mine. I must return the
lace.’
"And she did,” continued Mr. Bate
man, proudly. “And that, I take it, is
as pretty an instance of honest dealing
as you will find in anybody, either man
or woman.”
The scoffer at feminine honesty ad
mitted that for an example of probity
Mrs. Bateman’s heroic surrender of lost
property w ould be hard to beat, and the
meeting adjourned with sentiment lean
ing pretty strongly toward the ma
ligned sex.
Mr. Bateman went home in a partic
ularly happy frame of mind. He kissed
his wife with unusual fervor, and 11
nally offered to take her to the theater.
When she was dressed he noticed a dif
ference in the appearance of her mo
hair wrap.
"Isn’t that lace something like that
you found in the street the other day?”
he asked.
“Yes,” she snid, “it is the same piece.”
"I thought you took it back,” said
Bateman.
Mrs. Bateman blushed. “I did,” she
said, faintly, "but I—I got it again. I
couldn't give it up. I went to the lost
and found department the next day and
asked for it myself.”
"Oh!" said Bateman.
A Hero of the First Class.
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
Fact Is more thrilling than melo
drama, sometimes. According to a tele
gram from Owensboro, Charles May, a
fireman on the Louisville, Henderson
& St. Louis railroad, rescued a little
negro child from death in a manner as
spectacular as it was courageous. The
train was going down grade at high
speed when the engineer and fireman
saw the child on the track. They knew
that'the reversed engine would not stop
soon enough to save the child. The
fireman started down the running
board and reached the pilot in time to
snatch the little negro from the track.
In reaching for the youngster's cloth
ing he lost his balance and pitched
from the engine. By a lucky chance he
did not fall in front of the cowcatcher,
and he managed to drag the child into
the ditch unhurt. This sort of thing
done on the stage for the entertainment
a.td inspiration of audiences fond of
the strenuous drama is frequently ridi
culed because of its improbability in
real life.
Possibly Mr. May may be awarded
a Carnegie hero medal. As a rule med
al's recording deeds of heroism in let
ters carved in gold are very nice things
to have around the house. It is com
fortable to leave them to posterity as
proof that the family boasts an an
cestor who was altogether game, but
for his own personal use the genuine
hero does not greatly care about med
als. Mr. May, who risked his life in
an entirely disinterested effort to save
a small black atom of humanity is a
good deal more of a hero than the man
who save his sweetheart from the lake
or a burning hotel, or the father or j
mother who rushes to the rescue of a !
child. He risked his life unselfishly. '
He is in fact a hero of the first magni- !
tude and it is satisfying to know that !
there are such men in railroad service
where pluck sometimes averts catas
trophe.
A Union of American Soldiers.
From the Springfield Republican.
It is of truly national interest to
learn that at the recent encampment
of the Grand Army at Toledo, Ohio,
there was a strong undercurrent among
union veterans in favor of a joint
encampment of the Grand Army of the
Republic and the United Confederate
Veterans in one of the border states.
It was felt that this would be a wel
come move for completely wiping out
the old feeling of antagonism between
North and South, and It is said that
the Idea was hulled with pleasure by
many of the Influential leaders of tho
Northern organization. Colonel J. A.
Watrous, of Milwaukee, past depart
ment commander of Wisconsin, says
that there should be inaugurated at
such a convention a movement for the
erection of a joint monument to the
memory of General U. S. Grant and
General Robert E. Lee at Appomattox,
and of all the soldiers who fought In
the war of the rebellion.
Here is a suggestion and a consum
mation that should not be permitted
to drop until It has resulted In the erec
tion of such a memorial. It would
stand to the lasting honor of the valor
i of a great people, who are not least
i great in the cementing of fellowship
! which has followed the colossal internal
conflict. The conception of such a me
morial is worthy of brave men, and
there is no reason to doubt that the
survivors among those who wore the
gray will be ready to Join in such a
movement. The fact that it has been
seriously proposed Is about the last
thing needed to complete the story of a
unified nation, and to make the civil
conflict a memory whose significance
has been made broad and charitable
by the passage of time._
Pa says it's easy to spend money like a
irunken sailor—If you are using some
body else's money.
~WED CHORUS GIRL; NOW BABY
BRINGS "GOVERNOR" TO TIME
MRS. H. BRISTOW DRAPER.
New York, Special: Friends of Mr.
Eben S. Draper, lieutenant governor of
Massachusetts, are discussing with in
terest the report that he has become
reconciled to his son, H. Bristow
Draper, who wed Queenie Sanford, a
chorus girl, in opposition to the wishes
of his parents.
Young Bristow, his wife and Infant
son, are at the home of his parents,
and the little grandchild is credited
with bringing about the reunion.
It is thought likely that Bristow
Draper and his little family will soon
take up permanent residence in Hope
dale. The couple were married in New
York, at the "Little Church Around the
Corner” about two years ago.
With his family’s consent young
Draper was about to wed Miss Marjorie
Ray, of Frankini, and the lieutenant
governor had commissioned Robert A.’
Cook, an architecct, to draw plans for
a home for the young persons. Sud
denly came the news that young Dra
per had broken his engagement and
married the chorus girl.
The lieutenant governor was highly
displeased. Young Draper accordingly
went to Burlington and hired out as a
machinist in the cotton mills. On his
small wages lie provided a cottage
home for his bride and worked hard
in the mills. His independence and
Industry are believed to have won the
admiration of his father.
Added to this, the advent of a little
child enlisted the affection of the lieu
tenant governor. The arrival of the
little grandson and Mr. and Mrs. Bris
tow Draper is believed by many to
mean that Bristow Draper may soon
find occupation in his father’s mills and
take residence near the other mem
bers of the family.
Optimistic to the End.
From the Philadelphia Ledger.
Some time ago there was a flood In
western Pennsylvania. An old fellow
who had lost nearly everything he pos
sessed was sitting on the roof of the
house as it floated along when a boat
approached.
"Hello, John."
“Hello, Dave.”
“Are your fowls all washed away,
John?”
“Yes, but tho ducks can swim,” re
plied the old mart.
"Apple trees gone?”
“Well, they said the crop would be
a failure, anyhow.”
“I see the flood's away above your
window.”
"That's all right, Dave. Them win
dows needed washin’ anyhow.”
Ever Thus.
Miss Eldon—There are so many fast
young men nowadays.
Miss Youngly—H'm yes: you do seem
to have difficulty in catching one.
Saint R. L. S.
Sultry and brazen was the August day
When Sister Stanislaus came down to
see
The little boy with the tuberculous
knee.
And as she thought to find him, so he lay:
Still staring, through the dizzy waves
of heat.
At the tall tenement across the street.
But did he see that dreary picture? Nay.
In Ills mind's eye a sunlit harbor
showed,
Where a tall pirate ship at anchor
rode.
Yet, he was full ten thousand miles
away.—
The Sister, (when she turned his pil
low over,
Kissed Treasure Island on Its well
worn cover.)
—Sarah N. Cleghorn, In the September
Atlantic.
Because a man hangs onto the words ot
his sweetheart Is no sign that he stutters.
j FUNNY BASEBALL INCIDENTS j
The queer things which are all the time
happening in baseball furnish much food
for the fans who are “bugs” on the game.
Perhaps the queerest thing that ever hap
pened during a gtime of baseball was
pulled off one day in qhicago when Andy
Moynihan of the Chicago club was play
ing third base and with a runner on first
base. The next batsman up hit a terrific
liner down where Andy was all set for
the catch, and as the ball came hurtling
through space with lightining-like velocity
Andy stuck up his ungloved hand and the
ball stuck in .it.
Just after the catch was made the spec
tators were surprised to see the third
baseman begin dancing about the field
with his hand stuck under his arm, and
the man on first seeing that something
was the matter tore down to second and
then to third and then on home, while the
rest of the inflelders were trying to force
Moynihan’s hand out from where he had
It hid.
When finally they succeeded they found
the ball stuck so tightly In the third base
man’s grasp that it took the combined
efforts of five players to release it, and
then It was noticed that the partly closed
hand was completely paralyzed from the
shock of the ball coming into contact
with it.
Moynihan was several days recovering
from his injury and regaining the use of
the hand, but he finally did so, and
though the above story may appear un
likely to skeptical people still the instance
is on record in the annals of the Na
tional league.
Hal Chase and the Waiter.
Hal Chase of the New York Americans,
the best first baseman the game has ever
known. Is being criticised by the New
York populace because he doesn’t play
the other eight positions on the team as
well as his own, is a rare fellow to know,
and no one in baseball today can think
as quick as Hal on or off the ball field.
A1 Orth, the curveless wonder* who fell
off the train here in Washington on his
way to his Lynchburg home, tells of how
he and Chase went into a celebrated Bos
ton restaurant while the Highlanders were
playing In the Hub city and ordered gen
erously. When the waiter took Hal’s or
der he said:
“How will you have your ham and
eggs?"
“Right away," shot back Chase.
"How will you have your eggs?’* re
peated the garcon.
“Fresh," tersely replied Hal.
And then the waiter faded away with
a foolish expression on his countenance.
Schmidt’s Introduction.
I "Crazy" Schmidt, who was a famous
| National league twirler some years ago
and who is at present a member of Jimmy
Callahan’s Logan Square team, from which
, organization came the clever little Wash
! ington pitcher, Bert Keeley, was a most
| amusing character when he played In the
| big league, for his queer expressions, to
gether with his strong German accent,
made him a prolific subject for baseball
copy.
Schmidt, who gloried in his rather sig
nificant nickname, was a big, muscular
fellow, and could pitch all day without
tiring. He had a slow ball which was a
peach. The only trouble was Schmidt’s
lack of control of it when he was angry.
For instance, if Schmidt got mad while
winding up instead of his sending in the
slow ball the catcher w'as expecting, he
would slam one up to the plate with all
the force of his mighty strength, and the
catcher literally would be swept off his
feet.
It was on account of such sudden
changes of temperament that Schmidt was
nicknamed “crazy,” a sobriquet which he
bears to this day.
One day two years ago Jimmy Callahan
took his club down to Joliet to play the
aggregation there, and as the team had
played there before they knew the um
pire w'as a “homer”—a man who couldn't
see a close decision without giving his
team the best of it. He stepped before the
grandstand, hat In hand, and announced
as follows:
“Ladies and gentlemen, the batteries
for today will bo Schmidt and Reading for
Logan Square and Marshall and Rundle
for Peoria.”
“Crazy” Schmidt was right behind him,
and when he had finished Schmidt took
off his cap, and making a sweeping bow.
said:
“Laties and schentlemen, der umpire for
der game today vill be Mister Miller of
Joliet und he will as usual slightly favor
der home slab mit his decisions.”
Otis Clymer’s Luck.
In one of the St. Louis games recently
played at the National park there wore
three of the Washington players on the
bases, two men were out and it needed
two runs to tie the score when Cantillon
sent the hefty Otis Clymer in to bat In
Edmondson’s place.
On this particular day Otis was feeling
like a 2-year-old. He had hopes of seeing
his name in big letters in the papers the
following day, telling how he had saved
the game. And as he strode to the plate
he had a do-or-die expression on his face.
The first ball pitched Ote swung at and
missed. Then he popped up a foul fly
that was out of the reach of Sid Smith,
the dumpy backstop. But Otis braced
himself and landed hard on the third ball,
and it sailed away toward deep center. A
mighty cheer went up from the crowd, as
it looked good for a home run, but Em
met Heidrlck, of the misfit legs, tore after
the sphereold and, giving a leap in the
air, he managed to get two fingers on it
and the side was out.
Clymer swore low and deep, and as he
passed Jimmy Williams on his way out to
right field he said to Williams:
“My luck is like a hard-boiled egg,
Jimmy ?”
“How's that?" inquired the puzzled sec
ond sacker of the Browns.
“It just can’t be beaten." calmly replied
Ote as he continued on bis way.
—.- 1 -■»
Wanted to Go the Same Way. I
We were taking a little trip into th*i
country. The only vacant scats in thef
train were turned bo as to face each oth-l
er. I told my little girl. 4 years of age,,
to take the seat in front of me, as ridfngf
backward would not make her sick. She!
j hesitated, and 6aid:
"I know it tvon’t make me sick, but If
I ride backward will I go to the same;
, place you are going to?”
A Fair Deduction,
From Harper’s Weekly.
Little Helen asked who it was that1
made the wind, and she was told, God.,
One day, after a severe wind stormy
she came running into the house ex
claiming: “Oh, motherl Dod blew th«
barber’s sign down!"
Date for Felt Hats.
From the Millinery Trade Review.
Felts promise to come Into use earlles
than ever this year. Their advent ha*
quite ceased to be a matter of tem
perature—it is one of mode. Fashion
deprecates the wearing of straws after
September 15, and not to be caught
transgressing its rules fashionables
likely to overstay this date have been!
ordering felt traveling hats to carry
away with them, the general exodua
having commenced last week. These
are not particularly wide in the brim,
which is rolled up at the side, and are
mostly in soft felt trimmed with quilla
or wings and ribbons, giving a pleasin®
effect.
Nothing Doing.
Hiram Hayrick—Hev any excitement
when you were in ther city?
Silas Corntossle—No; I never met any
bunco-steerer, and since they put in
these here electric lights a feller ain’t
got no chance ter blow out ther gas.
$100 Reward, $100.
The readers of this paper will be pleased
to learn that there Is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure
in all Its stages, and that Is Catarrh. Hall’s
Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh
Cure is taken Internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation of
the disease, and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and assist
ing nature in doing its work. The proprie
tors have so much faith in Its curative pow
ers that they oiTer One Hundred Dollars for
any case that It falls to cure. Send for list,
of testimonials.
Address F. J. CHENEY Sc CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.;
The More Careful Widower.
From Tit-Bits.
In a village of Picardy, after a long
sickness, a farmer’s wife fell into a
lethargy. Her husband was willing,
good man, to believe her out of pain,
and so according to the custom of;
that country', she was wrapped in a
sheet and carried out to be burled.
But, as luck would have it, the bear
ers carried her so near the hedge that
the thorns pierced the sheet and awoke
the woman from her trance. Some
years after she had died in reality,
and as the funeral passed along the
husband would every now and then
call out: ''N.t too near the hedge,
neighbors. Not too near the hedge.”
Ten Can Get Allen’a Poet-Ease FRBB
Write to-day to Allen S. Olmsted, Le Hoy,
N. Y., for a FREE sample of Allen’s Foot
Ease, a powder to shake into your shoes.
It cures tired, sweating, hot, swollen, ach
ing feet. It makes new or tight shoes easy.
A certain cure for Corns and Bunions. All
Druggists and Shoe Stores sell It. 25c.
"The Law.”
From Harper's Weekly.
Parents of Wayne, a suburb of Phil
adelphia, are required to report
promptly any case of contagious dis
ease, in compliance with the regula
tions of the local board of health.
In accordance with this order. Health
Officer Leary received this post card
recently:
"Dear Sir—This is to notify you that
my boy Ephriam Is down bad with tha
measles as required by the new law."
A Way'tT Fix ’EmT
Dickson—There is just one thing to do
with these end-seat hogs who make yo<^
climb over them.
Wicksom—What is that?
Dickson—Make them sorry you climbed,
CASTOR IA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the
Signature of
AJtkU^i^BeautjM^i^Joy^Foreverj *'
DR T. Felix Goursud's Oriental
Cream or Magioal Beautifies
3 S S j Bemoees Tan, Pimplae
trS-9 n Freckles, Moth Patchea.
St3c-o Bush, and bkm Disease*.
E*«?
anu every oiemwa
on beauty, and de
fies detection. 1%
has stood the test
of CO years, and
Is so harmless ws
taste it to be sure 11
la properly made.
Accept no counter
feit of similar
name. Dr. L. A.
Sayre said to %
laay of the haut
ton (a patient) t
“ As you ladiea
will use them.
— »x 1 recummena,
'Gournurl** Cream* as the least harmful of all tha
skin preparations.” For sale by all druggists aud Fancy
Goods Dealers In the United States, Canada and Europs,
FERIl. T. HOPKINS, Prop., 37 Great Jones Sliest, New York.
Ptso's Cure is an unsurpassed re- PVH
medy for coughs, colds, bronchitis
asthma, hoarseness and throat and
lung affections. It goes direct to mamfl
the seat of the trouble and generally b^SH
restores healthy conditions. Mothers bSm
can give theii children Piso’s Cure
with perfect confidence in itscurative LjUI
Kweis and freedom from opiates. Bfii
imous for half a century. Il|ra;
At all druggists’, 26 cts. Sjgfi
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