NEW YORK WOMEN THIN. A real prince from far off Syria has come to this country for the purpose of studying American women, and after a. careful comparison with the women mf other countries he has decided that the average woman, especially in New York Is too thin. The prince, who is distinguished, not only by his rank, but by a professional tiiie list vve»i, preiers them lit, and his advice to Americans is to take a little more time to living, rest occasionally arid add 100 pounds or two at the same time to their weight. Prince Tewflk Bo lam a Is more proud of his medical profession than he is of belonging to the nobility. He says In Syria women prefer brains to titles and he suggests that It might be wise If the American women would for an example to their eastern sisters, whose standards he considers much more worthy. He tiiinks tt Would he well for them to adopt also the fashions of the Syrian women. They have no wrinkles, he says, they have no worries. They spend their days in Accordance to the old adage, "Laugh and grow fat." "Fatness is a mark of beauty," I>r. Tewflk says, "and the most beautiful face is that which is round and full like the moon when she Is in her glory. In America the women are forever steam ing their faces, dieting, and perform ing nil kinds of acrobatic stunts to get rid of a few' pounds when if they only knew It every one they lose they are eartlng with just that amount of eauty. In Syria wre think every wom an who has any claim on beauty at all must weigh at least 175 pounds, and the woman who so rolls in fat that she Is what you Americans call a regular "bunch of pork" would In our country be considered much better to look at than the one who is all bones and Angles." Black moles Is another mark of beauty in Syria and the face that has too or three of these little blemishes are the ones that poets sing praises to and lovers show'er with their adoration. Obedient. General Sherman once possessed an Irish servant whose forte was asking question! And trying to And out the why and where fore of everything he was told to do. Dur ing a battle an orderly one day approach •d the general and told him that his favor ite horse, floss, had been struck by a can non ball and killed. Calling his Irish servant the general •aid, "Go skin Ross." "Why, ilr, is Ross dead?" began the man General Sherman rose up in his wrath, •aying: "Never mind whether lie is dead or not—I told you to go out and skin him " The man returned about three hours lut •r and Sherman hailed him with the words: "Where have you been? Does It take you three hours to skin a horse?" "No," answered Mike, "but it took me about two hours to catch him." SICK HEADACHE !'■—-;—| Positively cored by f% 1 DTT D C these Little Pills. LJ\y They also relieve Dla | tresa from Dyapcpela, In ITTLE digestion and Too Hearty ■ \i p I) Bating. A perfect rem I ¥ fan edy for Dizziness, Nausea, PILLS. Drowsiness. Bad Taste — In the Mouth, Coated Tongue, Pain In the Side, -1 TORPID LIVER. They regulate the Bowels. Purely V egetable. SMALL PILL SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE. (Genuine Must Bear Fac-Simile Signature REFUSE SUBSTITUTES. New Wheal Lands in me Canadian West AOfin Additional miles of railway this yeai *.9 UUU have opened up a largely increased ter ritory ep the Kidneys Well and the Kid* neya Will Keep You Well. Sick, suffering, languid women aru learning the true cause of bad backs and how to cur a them. Mrs. W. O. Davis, of Groesiteck, Texas, says: “Back aches hurt me so I could hardly stand. Spells of dizziness and sick headaches were frequent and the action of the kid neys was irregular. Soon after I began taking Doan’s Kidney Pills I passed several gravel stones, t got well and the trouble has not returned. My back is good and strong and my general health better.” Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. The Bailey Doxology. From the New York World. Every anti-Bailey meeting in Texas la now closed with the following doxology: Praise Joe. to whom oil blessings flow; Praise him, oil flunkies here below. Praise him above, ye Standard hosts; Praise Rogers and John D., but Joe the most. FEARFUL BURNING SORES. Uoy In Misery lg lean—keiema In Hough Soules, Helling anti In flamed—Cured by Cutleuraa. “1 wish to Inform you that your wonderful Cuticura has put a stop to twelve years of misery 1 passed with my sou. As au infant 1 noticed on ms body a red spot aud treated same with different remedies for about live .tears, but wbeu tlie spot began to get uuger 1 put bim under the care of doctors. Under their treatment the diseuse spread to lour different part* ut his body. The longer the doctor* treated him the worse it became. Dur ing tbe day it would get rough aud lorm like scales. At night it would be cracked, inflamed, aud badly swol len, with terrible burning aud itching. When 1 think of his suffering, It nearly breaks my heart. His screams could l.e heard downstairs. The suffering of my son made me lull of misery. I had no ambition tu work, to eat. nor ion Id I sleep. Oue doctor told me that my son’s eczema wus Incurable, uud gave it up for a bad job. Oue evening I saw an article in tile paper about i he wonderrnl Cuticura and decided to give it a trial. I tell you that Cuticura Ointment Is worth its weight In gold, and when I had used the Urst box of Ointment there was a great Improve ment. and by the time I had used the second set of Cuticura Soap, Cuticura Ointment, and Cuticura Resolvent, my child was cured. He Is now 12 years old. and his skin Is ns tine and smooth ! as silk. Michael Stein man, 7 Stimuei Ave.. Broklyn, N. 1’., Apr. IB, '05.” Those Fool Songs. •‘So you are the author of the popular ; song, 'When the Flowers Are Gently ! Blooming':' 1 ''Ves.'' “Well, I'm glad to know you. I'm much interested In your song. I want to ask ■ \ nil a question.” “Well?” ! “Did you ever see the flowers bloomin* ; roughly?” PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS l'\ZU OINTMKNT Is guaranteed to cure any .use or Itching. Blind, Bleeding or Protrud ing Piles In l> to 14 days or money refunded. ."■IK*. If our good Intentions could only be I used for paving material in this world what a saving it would be for the tax I payers.