Xot to Be Expected* t Tourist—How long will It take m* to reach the ferry, me good man? Policeman—I ain’t no mind reader, I’m a policeman. There is more Catarrh in this sectioi or the country than all other diseases pu together, ana until the last few yean was supposed to he incurable. For a grea many years doctors prbnouneed it a loca disease and prescribed local remedies, ant by constantly fnlllng to cure with loca treatmentspronounced it.Incurable. Sclenct has proven catarrh t > be a constitiutlona disease, nnd therefore, requires constltu tlonal treatment. Hall's-.catnrt-h cure manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., To ledo, O., is the only constitutional cure 01 the market it Is taken internally it doses from 10 drops to a tcaspoonful. Ii acts directly on the blood and mucous sur faces of the system. They offer One Hun dred Dollars for any case it fails to cure pend for circulars and testimonials. Ad _ ' F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists. Toe. Hall’s Family Fills are the best The ••Mule-Shearer’' Spider. * Yucatan is the home of an uncanny species of spider, known all over Cen tral America as the “mule-shearer.” This queer representative of the My gale family has a habit of creeping up the legs of mules and horses and shearing off the hair that surrounds the hoof, especially the fetlock. The hair gained in this curious operation is used by the insect as a nest-building material, and is removed from the leg of the mule or horse by a strong pair of mandibles, which resemble those of a “pinching” bug. Animals bitten by •the “mule-shearer” always lose their hoofs. No More Contrasting Bodices. To bo absolutely in style your bodice must bear some little relationship to the rest of the gown, writes an observ ing young woman, who is “doing” the Paris shops. For example, a black or white chiffon waist is the proper thing with a blaek and white striped silk skirt, and if a white chiffon bodice is worn with a black satin skirt it should have a wide corselet belt of jet to es blish a connecting link between the black skirt and the white waist. The latest styles are decidedly against the waist which is distinctly in contrast to the skirt. THAT SFLENbID COFFEE. Mr. Goodman, Williams County, 111., writes us: “From one package Salzer’a German Coffee Berry I grew 300 pounds of better coffee than I can buy i- in stores at 30 cents a pound.” A package of this and big seed cata , logue is sent you by John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., upon receipt of 15 cents stamps and this notice, w.n. * Partial Peace. The due de Choiseul, who was re marks oly thin, went to London to negotiate a peace. “Have they sent the preliminaries of a treaty?” -asked one Englishman of another. “I don’t know,” was the reply; “but they have Bent the outline of an embassador.” Cat Prices on Planet Jr. Goods. Wo are the only seedsmen during to cut the prices on the Planet Jr Tools. We sell the Planet Jr. Combined Drill, that other seedsmen must ask $11.00 for, we sell same for $0.90. Big catalogue, send c for postage. John A. sai.zku seep co. • Lacrosse, Wis Strictly Business. Old Gent—I understand—in fact, I know—that you and my daughter are edging very rapidly toward matri mony. Penniless Suitor—It is true, sir; and although I am obliged to con fess that it will have to be a case of love in a cottage, I hope- “Say no more. Love in a cottage is the true ideal of happiness. You have my consent-” “Oh, thank you!” “Pro vided you can show me the deed for the cottage. Good-day ” Just try a 10c box of Cascarets, candy cathartic, the finest liver and bowel regu lator made._ Difficulty add to achievement, as the ramnlugnfthe to.vder sends the bullet farther. / People who practice charity have little time to preach. THE ADVANCE AGENT OF HEALTH HinUtuxo Fao-tUmilc. A WOODEN SHOE. I T WAS announced to all Paris that Pagan! had fallen seriously 111 at the conclusion of his grand concert, had been attached by a fever which refused to yield to the rem edies employed by his physicians. j some days iaier, Pagan), whose form was almost spec tral, seemed to have his frail existence suspended by a thread, which the -slightest shock might sever. The physi cians ordered solitude and absolute re pose, therefore he removed to the Villa Lutetanea in the Faubourg Poisson niere. It was an excellent establish ment and stood in a large park-like garden, where the patient could enjoy either solitude or society at choice. A great charm of the place was that every one lived as he pleased; in the evening, either retiring to the solitude of his apartment, or joining in the games, music and conversation held in the drawing-room. Pagan! preferred pass ing the evening in quietness and retire ment. There was plenty of gossip about him in the drawing-room and three or four censorious old women fell on him tooth and nail. “Ladies,” began one, “have you seem this great musician? He salutes no one" and never speaks a word. He takes his bowl of soup in an arbor in the garden, and then hastens away if any one approaches. What an oddity he must be!" “That’s Dart of his maladv.” said an other. “People say that there Is some terrible mystery about his life; some love story, I imagine.” “Not at all!” added a third. “Pagan! is a miser; there's no mystery about that. Do you remember the concert which was organized in favor of the families who suffered from the inun dation of St. Etienne? The great vio linist refused to take part in it -be cause he would have to play gratui tously. Depend upon it, he fears that were he to mingle in our society, he might be asked for similar favors.” In the entire household Pagan! never exchanged a word with anyone except Vieette, the housemaid who attended him. She was a cheerful, innocent country girl, whose prattle, when she served his meals, amused him. One morning Vieette presented her self with a sad, drooping countenance, and served breakfast without uttering a word. The musician noticed this change in the young girl and ques tioned her about it. “What’s the matter, my child? You idok sad. Your eyes are red; some misfortune vhas befallen you, Vieette?” . “O, yes, sir.” “Would it be indiscreet to ask you what it was?” Paganl fixed his great black eyes on the girl’s troubled countenance. “Come,” he said. "I see how it is. After having made you a thousand promises he has quitted you, and you no longer have any tidings of him.” “Ah! poor fellow! He has quitted me certainly, but it was not his fault.” “How is that?” “Because in the conscription he drew a bad number, and he has been sent away with a long gun on his shoulder and I shall never see him again,” sobbed poor Vieette as she buried her face in her white apron. “But, Vieette, could you not purchase a substitute for him?” The girl, withdrawing her apron, smiled sadly through her tears. “Monsieur is jesting,” she said. “How could I ever buy a substitute? This year men are tremendously exr pensive on account of the report that V. . DON’T CRY. there is going to be war. Fifteen hun dred francs is the lowest price.” The musician pressed Vicette’s little plump hand between his long, sallow lingers as he said: “If that’s all,.my girl, don’t cry; we’ll see what can be done.” Then taking out his pocketbook he wrote on a blank leaf: “Mem.: Jo see about giving a con cert for the benefit of Vicette.” A month passed on, the snow came ; and Pagani’s physician said to him: “My dear sir, you must not venture out of doors again until after the winter.” “To hear is to obey,” replied the | musician. At Christmas eve, on the anniver j sary of the birth of the Lord, a cus tom exists in France very dear to the children. A wooden shoe is placed at the corner of the hearth and a benefi cent fairy is supposed to come down the chimney laden with various presents and dainties, with which he fills it. On the morning of Dec. 24, four of Pagani’s feminine critics were in con sultation together. “It will be for the evening,” said one. “Yes, for this evening; that is settled,” replied the others. After dinner Pagani was, according to his custom, seated on the drawing room sofa, iipping his eau sucree, when an unusual noise was heard in the cor ridor. Presently Vicette entered and announced that a porter had arrived with a case, directed to Signor Pagani. “I do not expect any case,” said he, “but I mi noose he had better bring it nn Accordingly a stout porter entered, bearing a good-sized wooden box, on which, besides tbe address, were the words, “Fragile, with care.” Pagan! examined it wirh some curiosity, and, having paid the messenger, proceeded to open the lid. His Ions, thin, but ex tremely muscular fingers, accomplished the task witnyjt difficulty and the company, whoso curiosity caused them somewhat to transgress the bounds ol good manners, crowded around in order to see the contents of the box. The musician drew out a large packet secured with several seals. Having opened this, a second, and then a third wrapping appeared, and at length the, curious eyes of twenty persons were' regaled with a gigantic wooden shoe, almost large enough to' serve for a cradle. Peals of laughter hailed this discovery. “Ah!” said Pagani, "a wooden shoe. I can guess who sent it. Some of these excellent ladies wish to compare me to a child who r.lways expects presents and never gives any. Well, be it so. We will see if we cannot find some method of making this shoe worth its weight in gold.” . So saying, and scarcely saluting the company, Pagani withdrew to his own apartment, carrying with him the case and its contents. During three days he did not appear in the drawing-room. Vicette informed the company that he worked from morning till night with the tools of the carpenter. In fact, the musician, whose hands were wondrously flexible and dextrous in other things besides violin playing, had fashioned a per fect and sonorous instrument out of the. clumsy wooden shoe. Having enriched it with one silver string, his work was complete. Next day a public notice ap peared that on New Year’s eve Pagan! would give a concert in the large hall of the Villa Lutetanea. The great mas ter announced that he would play ten pieces, five on a violin and five on a wooden shoe. The price of the tickets was placed at twenty francs each. Of these only 100 were issued and they were Immediately purchased. The evening arrived and Pagan! ap peared, smiling, with every appearance of renewed health, and on his favorite violin played some of those marvelous strains which never failed to transport ms auditors to the seventh heaven ot delight. Then he seized the shoe, which In its new guise of violin still preserved somewhat of its pristine form, and his whole being lighted up with enthusiasm, he began a wondrous improvisation which captivated the. souls of his hearers. It represented first the departure of a conscript, the tears, the wailing of his betrothed, then his stormy life in the camp and on the field of battle, and finally his return, accompanied by triumph and rejoicing. A merry peal of wedding’ bells completed - the musical drama. Long and loud were the thunders of applause; even the old ladies who dis liked Paganl could not refrain from clapping their palms, and bouquets thrown by fair and jeweled hands fell at the feet of the musician. In a cor ner of the hall next the door, Vicette was weeping bitterly. The sympathy of the conscript had gone straight to her heart. At the conclusion of the concert the receipts were counted and they amounted to two thousand francs. “Here, .Vicette,” said Pagani. “You have five hundred francs over the sum required to purchase a substitute. They will pay your bridegroom’s traveling expenses." Then after a pause he continued: “But you will want something where with to begin housekeeping. Take this shoe violin, and sell it for your dowry.” Vicette recei /ed from a rich amateur six thousan 1 francs for Pagani’s wooden shoe. This violin is to-day in the posses sion of the Marquis of Dufferin and Ava. WILL M. CLEMENS. How to Dm Court-I’latter. Did you ever notice the way sit physi cian prepares the court plaster for & wound? First, he holds the piece lengthwise directly through the mid dle. The plaster should be considerably larger than the wound, to keep well over the edges; then slash the plaster lengthwise nearly to the edge. Straight en the court plaster out flat and cut the slashed pieces at opposite ends. Place the straight edges of the court plaster to the flesh on either side of the wound, bringing the strips across the wound. Moisten them, and taking a strip from each side, draw them to gether gently, closing the cut, and stick the plaster in place. Continue with all the strips, and the cut will be dressed In a manner to insure a perfect heal ing, and as well as any doctor could do it. Chewing Money Killed Him. Alexander Waltzfelder, a betting man, well known as “Sheeny Dan,” died in New York from the habit, it is thought, of holding greenbacks in his mouth when he was counting money or trying to make bets on the race track. A short time ago he bit his lip accidentally and the result was blood poisoning. Ileat.nrlth Blazing Sticks. The “fire robbers” are busy again. Their latest victims is Jack Keel, an old German rtorekeeper near Spring field, 111. They tied him to a bed and beat him with blazing sticks, in a vain effort to make him divulge the hiding place of his money. Keel is Id a precarious condition. The Most Costly Torn!). The most costly tomb in existence ii said to be that which was erected tc the memory of Mohammed. The dia monds and rubies used in the decora tions are worth £2,000,000. NOVEL ENTERTAINMENT. ProvMed by k St. Loult llaittn for Bet Feminine Frlemle. A wealthy St. Louisan living tn fne vicinity of Lalayctto park provided a novel form of entertainment for hla guests ene evening lust week, says the St. Loul3 Republic. The hostess was extremely anxious to provide something original for the edification of a score of guests whom she Intended to call together for an informal evening. Her husband prom- ; lsed to provide such novelty and took a boon companion into his confidence to that end. They had not exchanged Ideas thirty consecutive seconds before they hit upon the device of converting the elegant parlors Into a gambling house pro tem. A faro bank, a roulette whele and poker and keno "lay-outs” were easily procurable, as the confer rees well knew, and that part of the programme was Bo&n settled. The friend suggested as a pretty epilogue the introduction of a pair of bulldogs, guaranteed to reduce each other to mincemeat in three rounds. This rather staggered the ambitious host, but hla friend Is a ward politician, and, with the eloquence he always keeps on draught, soon convinced the other that the evening would be a failure without those bulldogs. The evening arrived and with It l “e guests. The ladles were pret tily shocked at sight of the gambling paraphernalia, but became accustomed to it in an astonishingly short time J and shared in the games with becoming vinl. It was when the yellow bull dogs made their unexpected entrance that the horror of the fair guests proved genuine. The beasts yelped and growled and showed other peculiarly canine symptoms of "spoiling for a fight." Thereupon the ladles sought refuge on the piano and card tables and chairs, conducting their retreat as from a mouse. , Notwithstanding excited feminine protestations, the friend who had been consulted as to a novelty In enter tainment unleashed the dogs. It was an exciting climax to an “original” evening. The dogs feasted tor five minutes on choice bits of each other’s anatomy. The ladies screamed and the friend who was consulted exulted In the success of his novelty. When he was quite convinced—and it took a con siderable time -to convince him—that the ladles’ deBlre for gore had been fully gratified he doused the dogs Into a* convenient tub of water and separated them. A Walking* Fluli. A queer fish called the “walking goby" or the "hopping fish," Is found in the Indian ocean, as well as along the shores of West Africa. Crowds of these curious creatures, resembling tadpoles in their outlines, bask in the sun on a muddy shore and scamper off oh be ing disturbed. Many of them keep the ends of their long tails dipped into water, while they lie on the sun-heated mu(l, or sit on the Mangrove roots, and Prof. Haddon has suggested that there may be an organ of respiration in the end of the tall, additional to the sim ilar organ in the gills. A more recent investigator, Dr. Forbes of Liverpool, thinks the fish are able to store a suf ficient quantity of water in their gills to maintain aquatic respiration during their prolonged absences on the shore. MISSING LINKS. . Good butter has been selling at 10 tents a pound at Oakdale, Neb. In Brown county, Kansas, a family named Bryan have had a new baby christened McKinley. Eleven times has Emile Zola heen a candidate for election to the French Academy, and eleven times has be been defeated. ■ Two churches of Jasper county, Mis souri, have been visited by thieves who stole even the carpets of the aisles and pulpit platform. An American robin was recently found near Manchester, England. Brit ish naturalists are wondering how It crossed the ocean. Eighty-five hundred dollars, the whole profit for last season of the. house of commons kitchen, has been Invested by the committee In claret. Mother—Oh, John, you should hear baby talk. He can talk Just as plain as can be. Father—You mean as plain as you talk to him.—Boston Transcript. Horse racing on the ice has already become a fad in a number of Maine towns among th,e younger men, who are “developing” prospective trotters. Burled In a pauper’s grave near Hartshorne, I. T., was the body of an old man named Johnson, who, It Is said, was once lieutenant-governor of Flori da. He was brought low by drink. To his cell mate, John Riley, recent ly sentenced by Justice Bond, of Leav enworth, Kas., to a year’s imprison ment, has confessed that within the last thirteen years he has been in forty-one jails. Mother—My dear, there can be no domestic happiness unless there are mutual concessions. Married Daughter —Nonsense, mother. We could get along very well if Charles would make concessions.—Puck. A resident of Amesbury, Mass., con signed seventy-five barrels of No. 1 ap ples to Boston parties, and after some delay received word that he was in ; debt to them $5, they having paid freight and cartage. Boys, in trying to climb over a sev en-foot fence, thirty feet long, after their football, at Oakland, , Cal., knocked the fence down upon an elder ly woman who was passing, and the in juries she received were so severe that little hope was entertained of her re covery. The peanut is a native of Brazil. A Distinction. f— Mrs. Skinner—I winder why somo grocers are called green grocers? Mr. Skinner—I don’t know, unless It’s to distinguish them from cash grocers. NO-TO-BAC FOR FIFTY CENTS. Over 4»c and jl.On,all dtugglsts. THE WATCH WAS LOADED. And (o Wai the Profnianr When Ha Had Examined It. Tho examinations at \ certain “prop.” school were in progress. The, hoys were working busily over their papers, and the grim old professor was Watching sharply from his desk. Presently he noticed that one of the students, a prominent ne'er-do-well, was consulting his watch with con siderable frequency. The professor studied him. In five minutes he had looked at the timepiece three times This was enough for the guardian. - lie called the student to his desk and demanded the watch. It was given him and he opened it. Across the face was a piece of paper bearing the legend “Fooled.” But the worth? professor was n ot to be so easily deceived. He gave the student a sharp knowing glance, turned the timepiece over and opened the back cover. It opened with con siderable difficulty, and, behold, there was another slip of paper bearing the information. “Fooled again, old fogy." The Strongest Fortification Against disease, one which enables us to undergo unscathed risks from hurtful cli matic Influences, exposure, overwork and i fatigue, Is the vigor that Is Imparted to a debilitated physique by the peerless medi cinal safeguard, nostetter’s Htomach l it ters. You may nos e s thlsi vigor In a I higher degree than tue trained athlete, although your muscular development may ba far Inferior to his. Vigor Implies sound, good digestion and sound repose, two bless ings conferred by the Bitters, which rem edies malarial, rheumatic and nervous trouble. Football Accidents. A return of the football accidents for the last season in Great Britain has been made. The deaths nqmber twenty-six, (four more than in the previous season), the broken legs thirty-six (a decrease of thirteen), the broken arms twelve (the same as in 1891-92), the. collar bones broken twen ty-five (an increase of seven), and the other injuries seventy-five (an increase of nineteen). The chronicler makes the grand total for the past three sea sons of “deaths and damages” to be 437. __ lira. Wlnilewl Hootiling Ijrag For children teeth In ft. toft endthe trumn. reduce* inflam mation, allays pain, cured wind colic. 85 cents a bottle. They wu.gdy, A couple of New Jersey men were wandering along the Midway Plai sance and by chance they got into the ostrich farm. Neither of them had ever seen such a “critter," and they stopped in amazement “Gosh, Bill,"exclaimed one, “them's bigger musketers than we’ve got in Now Jersey,” and Bill nodded his head in emphatic aSsent. TO CUBE A COLD IN ONE DAT. Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All Druggists refund the money If It falls to cure. 25c Perfume* Guard Against Microbes. To gaard against infectious diseases it is advisable to surround ourselves, as far as possible, by an antiseptic atmosphere. We accomplish this in a general way by the use of disinfec tants, but as many people find these very disagreeable'it is useful to know that perfumes answer the purpose, and are almost as destructive to mi crobes as the strongest chemical preparations now in use. ALICE MITCHELL'S LIFE. The Sl.yer of Freda Ward * Hard Worker In a Tenneaiee Arylaa> It is paid by one of Alio* Mitchell** attendants in the insane asylum at B livur, Tenn., that she is one of the incst useful women in the asylum; that shu works harder than any at tendant in the ward* She scrubs the floors, washes the dishes and assist* in every way in keeping things tat order; that she shows the greatest interest in the patients, especially the old women, to whom r she is tenderly kind. She has never been heard to call\ Freda Ward's name or speak of that horrible murder, which frotet its cold-bloodedness has caused the whole world to resound her name. She occupies a cell just exactly like those of other patients, without one comfort more, but she is allowed. to eat at the attendants* ' table, where every delicacy is provided for her by her family. She la a goodind sielau, and when she la not at work passes her time by singing and play ing. Her father and mother visit her very often, and always take her Out driving. Each time she appears on the streets of Bolivar the people see as eager to catch a glimpse of her. ShO has never shown any symptoms of In* sanity except in fits of anger, which are very seldom,.but, said the attend ant, there is np mistaking that wild gleam of insanity at those times. Stic is one of the most vioient-tempered women in the world, and the attend ants consider her dangerous outside of the asylum. When asked ho,w,of ten she had seen her in those moods, the hesitating reply was:, "Only once.” Tho attendant appeared to be very fond other, and says she does not believe she remembers anything about the killing of Freda Ward. Coe1* Congh BaImo . It tho olrirat ami best It will brenk up * coM qrilcl et than anything else. It i» always reliable. Try it. There Is no fault that does not brine Its brothers and listers, and cousinSl.to live with it. ... Cassabcts stimulate liver, kidneys and bowels. Never sicken, weaken or ^ripe,10c. ’ Application is the ability to do, work; genius Is the ability not to. ... It is always a good ides to recognise the strength of your enemy. _ J»II A Little Child With a Little Cold. That’s all! ■\yhat of it? Little colds 'when neglected grow to large diseases and Ayer’* Cherry Pectoral CURBS COLDS. Also thorough instruction In alt branches by mall. Life scholarship $41. six months course <30. Corner tilth and Capitol Avenue. 'Omaha, Nebraska PATENTS, TRADE MARKS Examination and .Advice as to I’ateutablHty of h» ventlon. Send for “Inventors’ Guide, or How toilet* Patent.’' O’FARHELL ft SON, Washington, ftft, SWEET POTiTOEsr.^ ^ ^ ■ on aharei. No experience is qulrtnl. Directions for xprontlng’flree with sNsn Address T. J. HEINNKUt 1 jfmm*$ wntignimms «e»eS. PH.J.t,nTEPHKIIB. uaiIw>Sg Dr. Kay’s Lung Balm sass: nPIIIH "d WHISKY h«ta mt M M liriWIW nil. Dr. k. a, noeusv, nnni,tu. PlTCliTC Myeaij-experience. Send .ketch href. I #11 all IV* Vice, (L. Deane,la te prin. examiner PA Pat.Oillce) Deane ft Weaver, McGill Wash-uS ^\ Thowp*os’» Ey Watar. W. N. u. OMAHA. No- e.-iseil When writing to advertisers,,kindly men -tlon this paper. thiath!timalof St. Jacobs Oil I =Is a test that proves a SURE CURE.; ^jANDY CATHARTIC CURt CONSTIPATION 10* ALL 23* 50* ^aj^8aiallilHiaWfcia^ DRUGGISTS i ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED H <-ure »"T™.Reof«™s«tpation. Caaearets are the Ideal Land nuuvuuiuui uumimiiuciu tire, nerer enp or cripe.but raise ease natural result*. 6am-l pie and booklet free. Ad. STEItLIXfi REM El) V CO., Chiraso. Montreal. Can.. orJfew York. — * ** ** gl m 11 ■ *‘*‘‘** - - -- REASONS FOR USING Walter Baker Sc Co.’s Breakfast Cocoa. 11. Because it is absolutely pure. ' I ' {?: 2. Because it is net made by the so-called Dutch Process in '; which chemicals are used. ;; 3. Because beans of the finest quality are'used. 4. Because it is made by a method which preserves unimpaired ;; the exquisite natural flavor and odor of the beans. ;; 5. Because it is the most economical, costing less than one cent I ■ a cup. . Be nirt that you get the genuine article made by WALTER < BAKER & CO. Ltd., Dorchester, Man. Established 1780. ....It|