VOLUME XVI. O’NEILL, HOLT COUNTY, NEBRASKA, APRIL 23, 1896. NUMBER 42. PUBLISHED BY THE FRONTIER PRINTING CO. •UBBORIPTION, El.BO PER ANNUM. CLYDE KING AND D. H. CRONIN, EDITORS AND MANAGERS. Items of Interest Told As They Are Told to Us. When and how it happened Local Happening* Portrayed For General Edification and Amusement. . Register Harmon went down the road Tuesday morning. Judge Kinkald is holding court in Ainsworth this week. George Mead, of Fremont, had busi gis in O’Neill Monday. VANTED—A few day boarders, tes reasonable. Mns. Dennis Lyons. Dr. Dorbett will be here May 2, in stead of the' 8th, as previously an nounced. Bargains, bargains; they still continue on shoes at the Sullivan Mercantile Company’s store. 40-3 Be sure and get Sioux City seeds. They are the best. For sale by Neil Brennan. 35tf. Ld Purdy was in the city Sunday H even at this comparatively short die* tance from its source. The land thus irrigated is nearly all prairie sod. The contract has been let for breaking up about 8,600 this season. The intention is to put it all in alfalfa.—J. F. Hanson in Fremont Tribune*. KEK’BDUEAX. Kem had a dream tbe other evening. He dreamed he waa dead and hie spirit took ita flight toward tbe pearly gatea. Arrived at the heavenly paradise he ^ knocked. St Peter answered hie call: “Who comes?” asked St. Peter. “Omer M. Kem, late congressman from the Sixth district of Nebraska, knocks tor admission to heaven,’* replied Kem. “Omer M. Kem, congressman?" queried Peter in some surprise, “we have no knowledge of him here. But wait a moment; I will look at the book.’’ St. Peter turned the books while Kem shook with fear at the portals. ‘ “No,” sadly replied St. Peter, “your' name is not on th^books. Ton can’t come in Omer.” With great disappointment and a and heart Omer turned his back on heaven and commenced hia descent down the hill he had just climbed so full of hope and - expectation. He had gotten partly down the hill when he met a pilgrim on hie way up -- the hill to heaven, radient with hope ; and sunshine. Kem recognized the face as that of Judge Kinkaid, and making bold he addressed him: “Is this Judge Kinkaid?'* “Yes, Omer." C > .1 “Whither bound?” asked Omer. “To heaven Omer." “I have just come down from the gate Judge. St. Peter refused me admission —had not heard of me. You will hardly get in. It will go as heavy with you as with me. “Not so, Omer. I have' in nothing wronged my fellow men. I feel sure of admission within. St. Peter will, I feel certain, have heard of me, and admit me. “Can’t some arrangements be madg for me to sneak in with you, Judge. Suppose I get down on all fours and yon get on my back and ride me up to the gate and knock for admission, and if you are admitted you shall ride me through the pearly portals and then well both be in." “Agreed,” said Judge. . f Omer got down on all fours and Kin* kaid mounted and rode Omer up to the., pearly gate and knocked. St. Peter called: ‘ ; “Who comes?” v “Kinkaid.” “Ah, yes: Judge Kinkaid, candidate for congress. We have heard of you. Your record stands well here. I see you haye ridden up the hill. Hitch your ass outside and enter in among the blessed, Judge.” [Tbe above was banded us for publi cation by a lady friend at Turner, Neb. She does not claim authorship of the *’ idea, but has worked it over to suit the occasion.—Ed.] GLOVE IALX. One hundred pairs of kid gloves worth from $1.75 to $2 per pair, will be closed out at 98 cents. Come early; they won’t last long at this figure. 42-2 J. P. Mann. btbayzdob STOLES. One grey horse 9 years old, weight about. 850; is branded —O on left shoulder. Has been gone about six weeks. The other one is a bay horse, 4 years old, weight 11G0; tail clipped about the hock, ' mane sheared close, f Lump on forehead; two white hind legs. Been gone about three weeks. Liberal reward will be paid for information leading to recovery of same. 40-4 Wallace Johnson, Ray, Holt county, Neb. . X0VHKEXT& Don’t buy marble or granite until yon investigate. White bronze is much more artistic nnd enduring, and less ex* pensive. Wrire for'particulars. Wilson Bbodie, Agt., ■'dSifeA " ■ ■ Brodie, Neb. \'J It is not a miracle. It won’t cure everything, but it will cure piles. That’s wbat DeWitt’s Witch Hazel Salve will do, because it has done it in hundreds of cases. Morris & Co.