, A MODERN BUKYAN.
. ' ______
* ' - (J. N. Ervin, in Ram’a Horn.)
DREAMED: and be
hold I saw a man
clothed with rags
standing In a cer
tain place, with his
face from his own
house, a book In his
hand, and a great
burden upon his
back. I looked, and
saw him open the
book, and read
inerein: ana as ne reaa ne wepi »uu
trembled; and not being able longer to
contain, be broke out with a lament*
able cry, saying, "What shall I do?”
And while he was standing In • his
plight there came to him a man named
Evangelist and talked with him and
gave him a parchment roll wherein
was written the way of life from this
world to that which Is to come. Then
the man took the roll and began to
read In It, and as he read the way
seemed plain before him and a voice
said, "This is the Way, walk ye In it.”
Now, while he was still reading
therein there came by a man with a
( huge book under his arm. But the
man who was reading was so intent
upon what he was reading that he did
not see him. Then the visitor laid his
hand on the roll In the man’s hand
and said, “What readest thou?” And
the man said, "I am reading a roll
which Evangelist gave me to show me
the way from the City of Destruction
to the Celestial City. For you must
know unless I escape, I shall perish
with this city.” “This is an excellent
book,” replied the man, “and I have
given a great deal of time to Its study.
I am able to tell you many things
.r . which Evangelist has never discovered
~ and to make It plainer to you than any
one else can. That roll Is, In the main,
a reliable guide, but I would advise
you to read a book of mine on the ex
planation of the roll and the ‘roll cor
rected.'” Then the speaker gave the
man with the roll a card whereon his
name was written and disappeared. And
the name written was "Higher Critic.”
And I saw, and behold, there came
another man to that place tbe man
was still reading the roll. And he
•topped and spake with him and asked
f why he retell so earnestly and why his
faoe was so serious and troubled. And
he replied that he was trying to learn
the way to escape from Destruction. “I
am so glad, then, that I have found
yon,” said this man. “My name is Mr.
Modern Thought, and I am setting
right such people as you. I perceive
that Evangelist has found you and that
he has pussled you with the roll which
you have. That roll Is all right, but
Evangelist is narrow In hts views and
several centuries behind the times. He
shows you the narrow way by the lit
tle Wicket Gate and over the Hill Dtffl
WITH HIS FACE FROM HIS OWN
HOUSE.
eulty and through the Valley of Hu
miliation which pilgrims used to go.
That way is largely abandoned and we
now find an easier road. We are never
solitary, tor there la always a gay com
pany with Us to cheer the time, and we
have no longer the sad faces pilgrims
used to have. I have a company close
here which Is on their way and which
-I am guiding. If you will put that roll
In your pocket and go along with me I
will guide you without any farther tear
on your part. We will follow the roll,
hut 1 will read and explain portions of
It to you every seven days and relieve
you of the vexation of reading it for
yourself. And then I will give you
explanation which we accept and which
makes our Journey so happy, if you
have ever read the account which John
Bunyaa gives of the Journey ot the
Christian from this world to that
which is to come you have found that
he went through much tribulation, but
I can show you another way." Then I
saw that the man persuaded him to go
and he gave to him the name of Pil
grim and added him to his company.
Then I saw that Mr. Modern Thought
went on his way with his company.
And as they went they laughed and
sang and cheered each other by the
way. Pilgrim kept the roll In his
pocket and rarely touched it. On
every seventh day Mr. Modern Thought
would talk to them tor halt an hour
about some theme pertaining to
roll and would tell them how sadly
the stern men ot the past had tried to
force all pilgrims through a narrow
and dUtoult path with Ilona in the way
and how fortunate they were la that
they were not beset by any ot those
sad views. The spirit ot the modern
time* does not follow those old paths.
And then for the rest of those days
which they called sacred days they
foond delight in social companies or
la reading papers each ot which con
tained a sermon that no one ever read.
Now, I saw that as they went on their
way, they came to a plkce where a nar
row way went up a steep hill to the
:goed that Christian went of whom we
turn heard from Bunyan. And at the
place where this way left the road that
Pilgrim was going there was a house
Where Evangelist was trying to gather
'ta those who wero with Pilgrim and
espials to them the roll so that they
aMffr go on the King's Highway to the
1?
•■Knit!,
Celestial city. And I heard Mr. Modern
Thought speak with his company and
tell them that while Evangelist might
imagine he was doing good it were bet
ter to go on their easy way than to tall
in with the fanatics who wer$ trying to
climb that hard hill and leave behind
them all the delights they might enjoy.
Then I saw that they passed by without
stopping to hear what words Evangel
ist might speak to them. And so they
escaped any pricks of conscience.
And I saw after this that they came
to a place where the atmosphere from
the Valley of Humiliation began to
blow chill upon them. And their
hearts began to sink and goblins be
gan to appear to them. But Mr. Mod
ern Thought belonged to a company
who had builded a railroad entirely
around that valley, called Constant
Amusement railroad. It is luxuriously
furnished and its coaches are equipped
with theatrical exhibitions and dancing
pavilions till it takes away all thought
of the discomforts of the Valley of Hu
miliation. Pilgrim and all who were
with him took this railroad and passed
the serious valley without so much as
a single encounter with any evil or so
much as a dream of Apollyon. It is
said that he has never Interfered with
the running of that road, though it has
large numbers of travelers. On Sun
days Mr. Modern Thought talked to
them of a religion of sunshine in oppo
sition to the sadness of those who pass
through the Valley of Humiliation
where the old way used to go.
At the end of the C. A. R. R. was a
station fitted up with telescopes labeled
"Modern Ideas,” through which the pil
grims were permitted to look at what
they were told was the Celestial city.
There was a large and beautiful coun
try into which everybody who had ever
lived was received. There were all the
pleasures of sight and sound and sense
with which men were fascinated in the
City of Destruction and on their pil
grimage. Pilgrim learned after he had
reached the end of his journey that
these pictures were painted on the end
of the telescopes.
And after this the pilgrims went on
their way making merry among them
selves. And one day Mr. Modern
Thought told his company he wanted to
raise a fund to help another company
to come by the way of the C. A. R. R.
But the old way of helping others by
giving up something was a hard way
and the pilgrims stopped at the Vanity
Fair and took some booths and gave
some “charity performances” for the
good of other pilgrims who were com
ing in a second-class railroad carriage,
called a “Mission.” Pilgrim ran a
wheel of fortune, others sold sweet
meats and beverages, and others had
charge of the ballroom to the delight
of the citizens of Vanity Fair. Mr.
Modern Thought and Pilgrim were
summoned before the officers and pre
sented with the “freedom of the city”
and a copy of resolutions of regard
adopted by the officials. They sent a
small gift as a donation from the com
pany in charge of Mr. Modern Idea to
"assist needy pilgrims.”
After this I beheld that they went on
their way with merry hearts. They
traveled by easy stages and rested at
night in comfortable places. If Evan
gelist attempted to talk with them by
the way they easily escaped him, and
it he urged them to read the roll
which he had put in their hands they
assured him that they had it safe in
their pockets and that Mr. Modern
Thought read some of it to them every
seventh day. And so I saw Pilgrim
till he came to the end of his Journey
and his friends would not let him think
of the dark river which ran across his
way till his feet were in the waters.
Then he passed out of my sight for a
time till I saw him on the other side.
And he was met there by attendants
who took him away to the place pre
pared for him. And I looked once
more and beheld the entrance to that
place which he had entered and the
name that was above the door, and be
hold it was not heaven! Then I awoke
from my dream.
* mbewarbi» said william.
Bat the IT-Year-Old Beauty Didn’t Be
ware Worth a Cent. '
A very funny young fellow named
William Riggs thought it would be fun
to scare four young women who were
In the habit of riding by moonlight on
their wheelB in the smooth road in the
vicinity of Delphi. N. Y.
He had made a long white costume
and a hideous mask. Mounted on stilts
he appeared twelve feet high, and he
waved his ghastly arm and in a sepul
chral tone moaned, “Beware!” ,
One of the young women fell off of
her wheel in a faint, two of them broke
all world’s records for the distance, but
Miss Grace Holden, a 17-year-old
beauty from Jersey City, gracefully dis
mounted from her “bike,” picked up
a large stone, and, as she threw it, said
“It you are a ghost this will go through
you, and if you are a fiolish, masquer
ading boy it will hurt you."
And that is how It happened that Wil
lie Riggs has three broken ribs.
This Calf* Tall la la Front.
▲ Scar boro (Me.) man has a cow
which recently brought an offspring
Into the world. The call Is said to be
all right except as to the tall, and the
tall la all right, only it Is misplaced,
being oh the wrong end of the beast. It
Is said to grow from between the eyes.
In fact, the animal look; more like a
baby elephant than a cow. It was found
that the calf was likely to Btarve to
death from Its Inability to suck and
wag its tall at the same time, so it was
brought up by hand.
Had Their Feet Washed.
The ceremony of teet-washlng war
performed In the Church of God, at De
catur, 111., recently. One hundred and
twenty-lire persons had their pedal ex
tremities made clean ,
, . . ' , - _
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