THE MONEY ISN’T THERE. A Pickpocket Who Wh Foolish Enough to Stool o Lady'* Fooketbook. ”1 Just swiped o leather, Jim,” said a pickpocket to another of hie pro* fesslon. "Was it one o' them purty ones what the women carries 'round de streets in der hands?" "Yes, I swiped it when she wits lookin' Inter or windy.” "If yer'd been in der blznlz as long as I hov yer wouldn't or took It." "Why?" •■’Taln't wuth it” "A fellef might strike a big haul tho’ that way some time." "Not on your life, lie wouldn't. I've swiped a load on 'em an' I never got one yit that I could git a beer out on. Hey don't carry money In dam leath ers. Dey’s only er bluff. Trydatone yer've got and sue If It’s enny good.” Qlanclng about warily to make sure that no one was watching him, the pickpocket opened the purse. lie found three samples of sllkollne, a patent glove but toner, a eard adver tising a lotion for removing black heads from the face, a sheet of flesh colored court plaster, some samples of scrim and Madras, a list of prices of carpets, a circular showing an Illus tration of a patent hose supportor, a card of small .safety pins, two slabs of chewing gum warranted to cure dyspepsia, and a card bearing her ad dress and instructions to take her there If she met with an accident. "That's all dore is in it," said the man who had "swiped" the pocket book, as he turned it upside down and shook It, with a look of disgust on his faoe. "Didn’t I tell yer?" remarked the other. "I’ve 'swiped' dem tings till I'm tired. Doy’re all de same. I)o women don't carry nothin' but trash In ’em. De monoy an’t dere, never!” THE QUARTZ CRAZE. A Bpeelea of Insanity It hloh to Paenllar to Auriferous Hag loot. “A man may recover from a crazy desire for gambling or (five up whisky after ho has been Its slave," said a Coloradoan, “but when he goes quartz crazy there is no further hope for him unless he strikes a bonanza. Then his insanity will be none the less intense, bu^ it will not be so pro nounced' because he will have the means to pursue his passion without undergoing discomfort or creating ro mark. What do I mean by quartz erazy? Well, it's evident you hove never been in the Western country. Where the mountains are piled on top of each other those lunatics abound. A man who ia quartz crazy is an individual who catches the mining-fever and becomes convinced that his mission on earth is to find the greatest vein of . pay ore ever discovered. In pursuit of his quost he suffers hardships and overcomes more obstacles than UidalLthe knights who ever searched for the Holy Grail. Ho will leave home, family, friends and comfort, and all alone, with a meager ■apply of provisions and a few tools, he will plunge into unknown wilder nesses, and when he finds a place that holds out a mineral prospeot, ho will burrow in the treacherous mountain aide like a rabbit, and dig from day light till dark, expeotlng with every stroke of his pick to uncover his ex pected fortune. Nearly every pros pector in the West, or the rest of the world for that matter, is afflicted with the malady I have described. Some of them keep up their ceaseless search with every recurring seasou, and sometimes strike a good thing. In such cases somebody else, the party who has the money to develop the tad, reaps the profits. A rugltutle Karl. London society is much interested In an incident reported from Bucks, in which the earl of Orkney, who a -few years ago married Connie Gil christ, was the principal figure. The earl was walking out a few days ago with the countess' pet dog and met come roughs who had a bull terrier which they set on the countess' pet. The earl called upon them to desist, which they insultingly refused to do, whereupon he went for the biggest of them in true pugilistic fashion. A ring was formed, and there was a hot fight to a finish. The earl came off victor, leaving his opponent in a bat tered and helpless condition. The earl came out of the encounter al most unmarked. He was heartily congratulated the next morning at the meet of the hounds on his tri imph. _ Mo More roar- Tear* Old Mottos. With regard to mutton, four-year old mutton is now a thing of the past Formerly people could not dine unless the saddle of mutton was cut from a four-year-old sheep; now the mutton ■out to the table Is from 18 months to 1 Jests old, and the younger genera tion are not sure that it Is not prefer able to the much-prized four-year-old mutton. The saddle is still consid ered the prime joint to serve. A Mysterious Light. A strange light has been annoying residents between Melrose and Ash bourne, Pa., for two weeks past. The light, as described by persons who aver having seen and pursued it, has the appearance of a powerful flame, ft apparently rises from a quarry, any time between 9 p.m. and 3 am. After developing until it is large enough to travel alone the Ignis fat ana moves off. Malm Opts a Oats. Professor Wilder relates of a quar termaster's mules at Pensacola, that being shut out of a grass plot, one of them opened the gate held closed by a bail and chain, by hooking his head under the ball and chain, and then, * after five mulea had passed in, one of those inside backed up and held the gate men for the one which had first opened the gate for his companions. A DIZZY JOURNEY. Uow Workingmen Descend From a High Building. For a fow minutes every night, im mediately after the whistle in the American Surety building, in New York, tell the workmen it Is time to "knock off," a gang of men take their llvos in their hands. Ity means of tho ponderous crane used in the con struction of the building they are lowered to the pavement from the twelfth story. During the downward trip a crowd collects, and with bated breath watched thu descent The men stand on a platform, which Is hooked into the ring of the hoist ing cable. There are no rails or ropes to which they can cling, save tho sup porting chains from which the plat form is suspended. The men in the center grasp each otliur'a hands and shoulders, and those nearest tho chains in turn cling to them. It is nearly dusk when the work men cease their day's toil. The screeching of tho whistle lias not stopped reverberating through the building when thu great arm of the crane, with its load of human freight, swings outward, 125 feet above the tracks of the cable road. The men can be seen as they recklessly peer over the edge of the platform and look down upon the upturned faces of the constantly increasing crowd. During the perilous descent the lives of the men on the platform are in the hands of the engineer, who stands with lever grasped, carefully watching the unwinding coll, and ad justing the speed of the downward flight of the men with an accuracy born of long experience. A mistake on his part might either result in ths men being jerked from the platform or dropped to their death, yntil the platform reaches the ground the engineer's eyes never leave the coll for an Instant CURBS FOR COLD. How tho Country Editor'* Wife Heap* the Scribbler In Order. My wife always has a sure remedy for a cold in the house, or somewhere in the yard. Sometimes a remedy will have a two or three years’ run at my house before it breaks down or is declared unconstitutional, writes a country editor, But when it is on deck it is the only thing1 that can handle a cold in good shape and re move it without loosening up a lung or ripping a piece out of the throat. The first remedy, she introduced was the gargle remedy, The gargle was' made out of red-hot water and the same kind of pepper with rock salt for ballast, to be taken at sundown, standing in a pail of hot water. About a pint was a dose, and this pint had to be worked up and down in the throat I had to take this remedy for some time until one day my wife secured a cold at a croquet party, and I made a gargle for her that killed oiT the gar gle business The next remedy was kerosene oil, taken internally and ex ternally. It finally got mixed into the cooking and was laid aside. Sul phur and molasses was then intro duced. During the hunting season I have taken enough sulphur to run a match faotory for a year, and the molasses that went with it would have sweetened Devil’s lake. I have a cold at the present writing, and there are two jars of cold medicine waiting for me. The Professor’* Daughter. A professor in Indianapolis has a little girl whose bright remarks are making her famous Her vivid imag ination sees a relationship in the most unexpected quarters. Here are sam ples: Prof. X.—What is this dish, Mrs. X.? Mrs. X.—Mashed turnips. Little M.. connecting turnips with turnups—Oh, please give me some somersaults. On another occasion the family had some sweet cider, which was a novel ty to the children. When Little M. was told it was cider, she immediate ly said, *Oh I know what it is: " Thar* came ’Ions a spider, Sad sat down be-elder.’ ” Ketles of Geo. Kobert E. Lee. General O. W. C. Lee of Lexington, Va., has presented to Captain Dan M. Lee and Major John M. Lee, of Staf ford county the swordbelt and spurs worn by their uncle. General Robert E. Lee, at the surrender at Appo mattox. General Lee's shaving brush and the nail which penetrated the foot of Traveler, General Lee’s war horse, and caused his death, were also given to them. Captain Lee is think ing of putting these relics on exhi bition for the benefit of the confeder ate monument to be erected in Staf ford county. V ure ror xoeartlglt, Dr. L. McLaue Tiffany has per formed a very delicate operation at the Maryland university hospital. It consisted of opening the skull of the patient and removing from the brain a piece of nerve iu order to give re lief from neuralgia. The affected nerve passed from the brain through k small aperture in the skull. The gradual closing of this aperture and the consequent pressure on the nerve caused almost unbearable pain. Dr. Tiffany has performed six similar op erations, all of which were successful. Called Him Down. Rev. Dr. James Newton Shafer, a Methodist divine of New York, cele brated his eighty-third birthday the other day. In speaking of the early days of his church work the doctor said that he offended one congrega tion by using the word “invulnera ble.M On that occasion the church officials summoned him before them. “We do not want and will not have any Latin or Greek in our sermons," the spokesman explained. “We want plain Methodist preaohin* and no foreign fashions." AN OPERATIC PRISONER. She tong to tho Jostle*, bat Bo Locked Her Up. 1’olicoman Eissig, of New York, arrested a drunken woman re cently near his station house, j She did not wish to go with I him, but with the assistance of a fel low officer she was taken along and J arraigned in the Jefferson Market : police court. When she had sobered I up a little she gave her name as Elor | once Horn and than created no end of | astonishment by deliberately break ing out in a song. The greater aston ishment was caused by the fact that | her voice was not bad. She sang an air from '‘Trovatoro” and bits from many of the grand operas. In spite of the admonitions of the court ofli cers as well as the court itself, she sang several songs and finished them all before she could be quieted. When finally arraigned before Judge Hogan she complained loudly of her treatment and denounced her arrest as an outrage. Judgo Hogan sent her to the city prison for thirty days. Only a short time after the woman had been taken away a very respectable looking old lady came hurriedly into the court and told the judge that she was the unfortunate woman's mother. She wanted him to release her, saying that she would place her inan asylum for inebriates. This the judge re fused to do. Tho mother said that hor daughter had been an habitual drunkard for a long time, and although she had taken the gold cure it had been of no avail. Tho records were searched and it was found that she had been arrested ten times for drunkenness during the past four or five months. KEROSENE ON CHICKENS. (examined them With a Candle and Great Commotion Knaued. Seven chickens, a bucket of coal oil, a tallow candle, and a woman, who Knew how to use them In com bination, stirred up the greatest sen sation out in San Bernardino the other night that has disturbed the Berenity of that district in many a year. Mrs. John Seabury was the proud possessor of several specimens of the gallinacean family. Of late the birds have been afflicted with vermin, and at dusk last night Mrs. Seabury, armed with a bucket full of oil and a candle, started for the hen house. Site also took a brush along with which to apply the coal oil, and a candle was placed on a board while the work proceeded. Each bird receiv ed a supply of oil, and when saturated the lady took up the light to make a closer inspection of her work. While trying to look at two chickens at the same time the candle happened to touch one, and, swish, seven chickens were fired. The poultry studio was filled with more noise than a barn yard full of fowl would make over the first egg of the season, while the whole interior became as light as if the Monterey’s searchlight had sud denly been turned on full. Suddenly seven animated torches shot out in as many different directions, all cack ling like mad, and winding up three seconds later in a haystack, which they began to fire in true incendiary style. By this time everybody in the block was yelling ’’police” and a gen eral alarm brought the fire depart ment on the quickest run of the year. Mrs. Seabury has the remains of seven chickens, somewhat charred, but free from insects. AN INLAND SEA. Sach (I 111 lieeoms the Mississippi Val ley In Time. According to the engineers of the hydrographic bureau the level of the Gulf of Mexico is one foot higher than it was in 1859, and, of course, the encroachment on the surrounding coasts have been greater or less, pending on their character. In some places, where the marginal lands are composed of high, rocky bluffs, this thange of level has gone on from year to year without attracting at tention. On the other hand many low-lying points (some that were mce inhabited by the primitive in habitants or by the pioneer white let tiers) are entirely submerged. The cause of this change of level has not as yet been ascertained, but it is reasonably certain that it is the result of either a settling of the dry land or of a general and uniform rising or upheaval of the Gulf bed. No man who has given the matter a moment’s thought will argue that there is more water in the Gulf now than there was thirty-five years ago. On the contrary, there isn’t the least doubt but that there is much less. However this may be, if this acqueous encroachment is steadily maintained, Keokuk will ba a deep water harbor snd SL Louis and the whole of Mis souri will be entirely submerged in ess than 40,000 years. 1 he Co«tlieat (Sown. Upon being asked who bought the most expensive toilets. Worth, the famous dressmaker, replied without % moment's hesitation: “American radies get the highest priced dresses. The most expensive I ever turned >ut was an evening dress for the wife )f an American millionaire. I re vived 200.000 francs for that dress. The embroidery on the train alone :ost 20,000 francs.” “Who bought 't?” “You must not ask me that; as never tell names.” A Watch Contest. Geneva, the center of the Swiss watch industry, will hold an inter national competition in IS90 for tim ing chronometers. Five thousand I francs will be given in prizes. Com j oetitors may send as few as three and is many as fifteen chronometers to i the Geneva observatory, and tho | orizes will be awarded on the mean > performance of the best three time pieces sent in by each candidate. ' , '. • - . WANTED. A Satisfactory Answer to a Question of Flnanoe. A member of congress well known for his knowledge on financial ques tions, and also his knowledge of that knowledge, was sitting in his hotel recently, when he was approached by one of those reputable-apjfearing men one sees about the capital of the nation, whose true character doesn't always show in their attire or man ner. “Excuse me," said the intruder, “but are you not Mr. Blank?" “1 am," replied the member affably, but with dignity commensurate with his exalted position. “I believe you are thoroughly posted on all financial questions?" “My friends and the press, have ac corded so much to me,” smiled the statesman. 0 “You have given the subject a vast amount of study, have you not?” “More than to anything else.” “And no doubt feel quite capable of giving a perfectly satisfactory an swer to any question that might be asked?” The member at ODce jumped to the conclusion that he was being inter viewed, and got himself ready to give an answer that would bo a feature in nrint. "I think I could, if any man could,” he replied with pride. “Well, 1 have a question on finance that I should he greatly pleased if you would answer to my entire satis faction.” "Very good; what is it?” “Will you lend me a dollar for a day or two? I’m broke.” "By George,” said the member when he told the story, “he could have caught mo for five just as easy if he had come at me for so much.” LIVING) ABROAD. It Is Mot So Cheap as Commonly Re puted to Be. “A man soon gets cured of many long cherished traditions respecting the cost of things in Europe by a lit tle bit of personal contact with old world institutions,” said Colonel W. C. Chapman of Man Francisco. “I had an idea until I sojourned abroad this summer that the cost of living was much lower in London, for ex ample, than in any American city. To my sorrow, I found out that to live in good style in London was dearer a good deal than to exist com fortably in New York. To be specific I went to the Savoy, the best hotel in the great metropolis, and ordered a dinner not at all more elaborate than I am used to having | at home. There are some excellent restaurants in Washington not noted for their cheapness where that dinner would have cost about $5.5(1—certain ly not more than $6. The bill brought me called for £2, or $10 in American currency. Of course there was a small bottle of wine, but it was inno cent of ice, as neither love, money nor tears will make those beautiful Britishers give you any ice with your drinks. I don't want to ever hear again of European cheap living; it’s a myth. I can live better in this coun try on less money and have a ton of ice a day, if 1 want it, gratis. You may be able to live over there on a little money, but a man can exist very cheaply in China if he will limit him self to rice.” FIRST QUAKER CHURCH, It Was Erected In England In the Tear 1080. The Quaker meeting-house of Swarthmore, England, was erected about the year 1089. It is not easy to say which was the first meeting-house, but there were several prior to that date. In early years Quakers often held their meetings in private houses —in Swarthmore hall, for instance. In Norton, near Stockwell, as early as 1660; in South Shields, 1661; in Ireland the first “settled meeting” was held in William Edmundson’s house in Lugan some time about 1654. If the ques tion refers to meeting-houses, not to dwellings, it may be said that at Gateshead, in 1656, George Fox met his followers in a house in Pipewoligate, now the Fountain inn, and that in 1660 another meeting house was used in High street, now Powell's almshouse, which was given up soon after the Quakers had a meet ing-house in Pilgrim street, New castle. According to a book called “Friendly Sketches,” Sunderland had a meeting-house in 1687. It is record ed that a score of years before at York soldiers kept the Quakers “out of their own hired house." There are several instances of district meeting houses earlier than that of Ulverston, but these latter references may be more interesting. A Healing Shepherd. A shepherd who can tell from see ing a patient's hair what his disease is, and whose cures are miraculous, attracts hundreds of people daily to the village of Radbruch, near Har burg, in Germany. To protect his own health he refuses to see more than a fixed number daily, who must hold tickets which were distributed by the local constable, till a firm of speculators bought them all and sold them for higher prices. The police authorities are investigating the matter. ClauittcaUon. In a certain town in the north of Yorkshire a traveling American found an omnibus which carried, first, sec ond and third class passengers. As the seats were all aliks the traveler was mystified, but not vary long. Midway of the route the omnibus stopped at the foot of a long, steep hill, and the guard shouted: “Firsts class passengers keep your seats. Second-class passengers, please peg' out and walk. Third class passen gers, get out and push)" It Mav Do as Mach for You. Mr. Fred Miller, of Irving, 111. Writ es that he had a Severe Kidney trouble for many years, with severe pains in his oack and also that his bladder was affec ted. lie tried many so called Kidney cures but without any good result. About a year ago he began using Electric Bitters wnd found relief at once. Electric Bitters is especially adapted to the cure of all Kidney and Inver troubles and often gives almost instant relief. One trial will prove our state ment. Price only <0c. for large bottle At P. C. Corrigan’s Drug Store Buoklen’s Arnica Salve. The best salve in the world for cute, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions and pos itive’y cures piles, or no pay required It is guaranteed to give perfect satic faction or money refunded Price 25c. per box. For sale by P. C. Cor rigan. _ 28-28 Many stubborn and aggravating cases of rheumatism that were believed to be incurable and accepted as life legacies, have yielded to Chamberlain’s Pain Balm, much to the surprise and gratifi cation of the sufferers. One applica tion will relieve the pain and suffering and its continued use insures an ef fectual cure. For sale by P. C. Cor rigan, Druggist. Carlton Cornwell, foreman of the Ga zette, Middletowh, N. J., believes that Chamberlain’s cough remedy should be in every home. He used it for a cold and it effected a speedy cure. He says: “It is indeed a grand remedy, I can re commend to all. I have also seen it used for whooping cough, with the best results.” 25 and 50 cent bottles for sale by P. C. Corrigan, Druggist. There is a good reason for the popu larity of Chamberlain’s cough remedy, Davis & Buzard, of West Monterey, Clarion Co., Pa., say: “It has cured people that our physicians could do nothing for. We persuaded them to try a bottle of Chamberlain’s cough remedy and they now recommend it with the rest of us.” 25 and 50 cent bottles for sale by P. C. Corrigan, Druggist. A Quarter Century Test. For a quarter of a century Dr. King’s New Discovery has been tested, and the millions who have received benefit from its use testify to its wonderful curative powers in all diseases of Throat, Chest and Lungs. A remedy that has stood the test so long and that has given so universal satisfaction is no experiment. Each bottle is positively guaranteed to give relief, or the money wjll be refund ed. It is admitted to be the most reli able for Coughs and Colds. Trial botr ties free at P. C. Corrigan’s Drug Store. Large size 50c. and $1.00 Heart Disease 30 Yrs! Short Breath, Palpitation. Mr. G. W. McKinsey, postmaster of Kokomo, Ind., and a brave ex-soldier, *ays: “I had been severely troubled with heart disease ever since leaving the army at the close of the late war. I was troubled with palpitation and shortness of breath. I coaid not sleep on my left side, and had pain JJ°und my heart. I became so ill that I was much alarmed, and for tunately my attention was called to Dr. Miles’ Heart Cure I decided to try it The first bottle made a decided improvement in my condition, and five bottles have com pletely cured me.” G. W. McKINSEV, P. M., Kokomo, Ind a positive b,Wt^»eePWckfDOo~lttP^ rcasawca ,— by all Pnigglat*, * LEGAL ADVERT Notice. Andrew Anderson, d«f„„.i notice that J. L. Moore Trnl.d*tli liled a petition in the dis,®* M county. Nebraska, against. > impleaded with O. W.Wheatf*"11 unknown, and Mrs. W heath,'i?1 Wheatland, real name 1!ikno*i" and prayer of which are to r'""1 gage dated July 18, Iskk tcrest, on tl1e east half of ter of section if,, and th»„ northeast quarter of section ”2m| shin 25 north, of range n ,» m. In Holt county, Nebraska '011 H row A nfloeonn'' Rl76 ui. ill aiiriv VUUUI drew Anderson,” to the gi0£ Company, and assigned to ,, mortgage was recorded in book a the mortgage records of m,* have tlie same decreed tobe««** the said lands sold to satisfy th ™ You are required to 1 0^ebdefJ°.ra%&.0f- north, and of Range numbed (12) west of the sixth principal nZ secure the payment of a certain* note, with coupons attached, data! 1800, for the sum of *1,000 and due J tdo on the 1st day of August, M i is now due and payable upon said j mortgage the sum of Sl.tluo, mu, u 10 per cent, from the 1st dav of aJ the further sum of *14.65, for tales3 est at ten per cent, from the dint i,, uary, 1805: the further sumoilittit with interest at ten per cent, boa day of January, 1805. for width tom 1 iirncf f rnm f hlu Hn In ial„ terest from this date, plaintiff prjJJ 5 be required x ciee that defendants. same, or that said premises may lx satisfy the amount found due. You are required to answer saidi or before the 25th day of Februarjj Anc.lo American Land .Mon Agency Co. limited. 28-4 By A. B. Coffroi DON'T FORI To call at tlie S’ Before purchasing OILS, GROCERIES, DRIED AND . FRESH FRUIT Great variety of * , vegetable Always on Highest market price pi BUTTER AND EGGS. ADAM & CO Sioux City, O’ltf Western Rail*) fPAOIFIS SHORT U** THE R( SHORT BETWEEN SlOlIX OlT anj> Jackson, Laurel, 0 mond, piainvievJ, Connects at Sioux City "JLger** lines, landing NEW XTNION PASSE>'gE* Homeseekera will find S°^ete^ ities along this line--ten before going eI5eR belt of THE CORN For rates, time tables, all upon agents or add”. v \C. BILLS, fit-' Heceiver.