Ncbr aska Advertiser
W. W. SANDERS, Prop.
NEMAHA,
NEBRASKA
"When a woman won't bIio won't
and tlio ronson bIio won't Is because.
Tho use ot snnko venom la increas
ing In tho practice of medicine, and its
prloo 1h soaring upward rapidly.
An EngHBhmnn has discovered a
new Illuminating gas. Perhaps it will
throw Homo light upon those English
jokes.
Prof. Rodlloh of VlcimT"univorslty,
who 1ms accepted an invitation to lec
ture at Harvard next spring, will not
speak in Austrian.
At presenru7o'nnlas, It 1 wo mlstako
not, hold tho record for fast ocean
travel, but tho 'ics have aspirations In
tho same direction.
A Btory Is tohl of a Connecticut
rooster that chows tobacco and tries
to oxpectoralo llko a man. Evidently
the natnro fakers aro dying hard.
If Peary Is so certain ho could find
the pole for $25,000, bo ought to hnvo
no troublo at all in mortgaging his
subsequent lecture trip for tho money.
Tho French "academy, when full, con
tains 40 "Immortals." Two of them,
liiidovlc llnlovy and Francois Coppce,
hnvo lately proved their mortality by
dying.
Wo congYntulatoSan Francisco on
having a now date. Until now it has
been "since tuo earthquake" Hero
after it will bo "since tho coming of
tho licet."
Thousands or years bunco, when
Bciontists aro looking for rolics of
prehistoric man, probably they will
como across several ancient automo
biles in Siberia.
Persona whoso Incomes do not keep
paco with their aspirations will bo
glad to learn that It Is qulto correct
now to wear topazes, if they prefer
them to diamonds.
Woman Biiffrago in Finland is said
by a male scientist to hnvo Increased
insnnity in that country. Wo oxpoct
to seo tills statement mildly disputed,
nut to say laid out stiff and cold.
A celebrated doctor says that the
Bun is not bad for blondes, as has
boon reported. Did tho doctor never
bco a blondo complexion that hnd
curelessly been loft out In the sun?
Tho Kalamazoo man who was struck
by lightning threo times must provo a
great sourco of encouragomont to
tboso politicians who hnvo hold their
lightning rods for a long time without
gotting results.
Gormany thinks it 1b entitled to a
two-cent postage with tho United
States if Great Britain is. Tho cost
of transmitting letters written in Ger
man is no greater than that of send
ing messages expressed in shorter
words.-
At last Homor has met his only roal
rival. Tho "seven cities" whlcli elnlmod
tho blind bard nro outnumbered by
tho municipalities which claim tho
nuthor of "Cnsoy nt tho Bat." Tho
lovo for really great pootry haB not
declined.
American men, according to a dis
affected continental husband of nn
American girl, aro slaves to their
wives' slightest whims. As yet, how
ever, wo have heard of no movement
for tho emancipation of down-trodden
American men. Tho troublo with
them is that they glory In their
slavery.
Tboso now words that havo beon
written to fit tho tuno of "Dixie" rep
resont a total wasto of tlmo and labor
on tho part of tho author, as might
havo beon expected. Nobody wants
them. Does nnybody suppose that a
now version of "Homo, Sweet Homo,"
ovor could supplant tho commonplace
but immortal song known by that
name?
Loon Delagrango, tho French aero
pianist, who has just driven his Hying
machine moro than six miles at Rome
while tho king and queen of Italy
looked on, says that his machine now
needs only a fow minor improvements
to solve tho problem of dirigible lllght
Wo havo an idea that ho will Hnd that
making theso fow minor Improvements
Is llko putting on tho finishing touches
to mnko a perfect poom.
When tho question of relinquishing
to Turkey boiuo forts on tho Mldinn
coast was undor discussion, tho Into
Lord Salisbury wrote to Lord Cromer
privately: "I would not bo too much
Impressed by what tho soldiers tol
you about the strategic Importauco of
theso places. It is their way.
thoy wero allowed full scopo, thoy
would Insist on tho Importance of gar
rlsoning the moon, in order to protect
us from Mars" 'That was written be
foro tho beginning of the moro or less
profitable current discussion as to the
habltablllty of the next outside neigh
Dor oi tho eartb.
STAR SLUGGER OF THE WHITE SOX
To John Anderson, right fielder of the Chicago American league team,
It due much of the credit for placing his team in the lead in the pennant
race. Anderson has proven a very timely batter so far this season, pro
ducing hits when hits mean runs and runs mean games.
SOME POINTERS ON HOW
TO KEEP IN CONDITION
Carousing, Dissipating and Strong
Drink Will Not Aid Players,
Says "Ducky" Holmes.
PREMIER PITCHERS IN
THE AMERICAN LEAGUE
Close Race Between Walsh, Joss and
Donovan Nap Twirler Is
Best Sticker.
"Ducky" Holmes tells how to keep
In condition, as follows:
A baseball player, to bo a good man
at, tho business, must keep in good
condition.
To keep in condition he must get
plenty of rest and sleep. Carousing
and dissipating will put any playor
out of business. A baseball playor
needs brains in bis work as n man
needs them in any other, business. Ills
brain must bo quick.
A ball player must not work too
hard in the spring. Most players want
to reduce weight too fast. This Is
a groat mistake. Nature will not
stand the strain. Tho reducing must
bo dono in a gradual manner. Play
ors should get their muscles in good
shape, carrying somo surplus weight,
and wear it off as tho season becomes
hotter.
A ball player should not indulgo
strongly In liquor. A glass of beer
occasionally will not harm a player,
but to become a bosom friend of John
Barleycorn will "fix" any man so he
can novor get in condition or keep in
condition to play baseball.
Too much hard training or strenu
ous morning practice will put a man
out of condition. I would ndvlso mod
erate practico. bo that tho player Isn't
fatigued. A man who indulges In prac
tico every spare moment will invarl
ably become stale.
I havo beon In baseball practically
nil my life over slnco I was wearing
knoo pantB. I played with amntour
teams and seml-profosslonals for
years. In 1894-5 I was with tho Louis
vlllo Nationals. In 1890-7 I joined tho
Now York Nationals. I was with tho
Baltlmoro Nationals in 1S98-9. In 1900-
1-2 I played with tho Detroit Amerl
cans. I joined the Chicago Amoricans
In 1903 and played with them tho two
following years. In 1900 I bought tho
Lincoln Western leaguo team and
owned It through 1907.
In all these years 1 played ball, and
played good and hard. 1 folloVed tho
rules I have given above, and can
truthfully say that I am in tho pink
of condition right now.
Win Without Hits.
Commenting on tho fact that the
Chicago ''hitlcss wonders" aro still in
first place in the American leaguo
the Now York American explains this
fact by reason of tho team's fast flold
Ing and heady work on tho bases
"Tho Whlto Sox team is the weakest
hitting aggregation In tho leaguo, but
by holding down first place discredits
tho theory that it is nocessary to hit
hard in order to load tho race. On
tho other hand, tho White Sox- are
near tho top In club fielding,"
Gives Young for a Young.
Tho management of tho Boston Na
tional leaguo baseball club announced
that Pitcher Irving Young of that team
has been traded for Pitchers McCarthy
and Younc of Pittsburg.
Who will bo tho premier pitcher in
the American league this season?
Will it bo big Ed Walsh of Chicago.
Addio Joss of the Naps or will "Wild
Bill" Donovan repeat his last year's suc
cess?
Up to this writing Walsh has tho
call because he has pitched 15 games
and won 12. Donovan has a clean
record of 1,000, but ho has pitched but
threo games. Joss has won 10 tames
out of 15.
DIneen of St. Louis and Manuel of
Chicago havo each won tho threo
games thoy have pitched, and Bailey
of St. Louis hns como out of his two
engagements with flying colors. But
these twlrlors can scarcely bo con
sldored with Walsh. Donovan and Joss
There has beon but little difference
in tho work of Walsh and Joss to
date. Joss lost his first game and
then won ten straight. He then
dropped two games and won his olov
enth. Walsh was not ns fortunate as
Joss in annexing ten straight, but ho
finally overhauled tho Nap twirler In
point of victories and passed him
few days ago, when he defeated tho
Highlanders.
Both Walsh and Joss havo beon
called to tho relief of ono of their pals
iwico ana savea the day each time.
In tho 15 games ho has pitched
Walsh has been batted for 92 hits
whllo in his 14 games Joss has allowed
99 hits. Walsh has issued 14 bases on
balls and Joss nine. Walsh has 51
strikeout to his credit and Joss 57
Joss has pitched two three-hit games
and threo four-hit affairs, whllo Walsh
has worked in ono three-hit contest
and two four-binglo shows. Joss ha
a little somethinc hung on Walsh a
a battor, having an average of .195
to AUG for his Sox rival. Joss' batting
lias beon a big factor in four of tho
Naps' victories.
Ilk
Highlanders Get Patten."
Case Patten, tho former Washington
southpaw, who wont to tho Boston
Americans in exchango for Jesso Tan
nehlll, has been released. Patten goes
to tho New York Highlanders, that
club having refused to waive on him
when Boston asked for waivers. Pat
ton pitched a part of a gamo in Chi
cago, but did not do very well, and im
mediately after Ids poor .showing it
was decided to lot Clark Griffith seo
what ho could do with him. Patten was
originally slated to go to Minneapolis
this year, until Cantlllon succeeded
In trading him for TnnnohUl.
Funk Chance thinks, or protend
to think, that tho umpires havo beon
instructed to glvo tho Chicago Cubs
tho worst of it. This is what the Chi
cago manager snys: "Tho moro I seq
of how wo nro getting it handed to us
on tho closo decisions, the moro con
vinced I am that there will be no run
away raco of it In tho National league
this Reason."
I'VE BEEN THINKING
By CHAJ1LES BATTELL LOOMIS.
T was tho night be
fore Christmas."
How easy to
write those
Words. How much
literature has
been started by
that phrase!
but it didn't all
turn out to be
literature. Yes,
that phrase was
a good starter; It
is tho locomotive
that draws a long
and o f 1 1 i m o b
heavy train of
thought along
ways covered with
Ice and snow past
the homes of the
rich and poor;
and tho inevitable
destination of each train is Merry
Christmas.
It Is easy to get up steam and start
your train along the rails rails at tho
heartlessness of the rich; rails at the
nsincerity that accompanies the glv
ng of presents; rnlls at the helpless
condition of tho poor, with so much
money locked up in safes. You can
get along on the rnlls all right for
a time. But after the engine has gone
n few feet particularly If it bo verse
you are writing the wheels revolve
on the slippery track (and In your
bend) and It sometimes takes a heap
of sand to get her a-golng again.
You aro approaching n crossing now.
It is time to ring the bell. "Ring
happy bells, across the snow." Your
Christmas story wouldn't bo tho real
thing if you didn't work that In. It
Is now about time to stop and lot your
hero or heroine, or both, (get aboard.
And while tho train waits pluck a few
holly berries and mistletoe, for these
are Indispensable.
Now you're off again. Is your hero
going to be rich or poor? If poor, make
him barefoot and havo him wonder
what he'll hang up In lieu of stockings
for tho visit of old Kris Kringlo be
sure to call him by that quaint title
at least once. If ho bo rich, clothe
him In golf stockings, and It will puz
zle the old saint how to fill them.
The train is slowing up again. It
Is hero that the consumptive mother
and tho rich and surly uncle como
aboard. Make the old man a Grad
grind. Buy a copy of Christmas car
ols from the train boy, so you'll be
nblo to get the right atmosphere for
your story. Also open the window
and let in a whiff of frosty air.
You'd better stop pretty soon for
refreshments. Whether you're going
to feed your characters on stale fish-
balls and candle-ends or on a regular
turkey dinner, a meal of some kind
Is absolutely necessary,
The journey hasn't been so bad
thus far. and you needn't make It
much longer. Remember that the en
gineer and the reader aro human and
let up on them.
If your hero bo poor make It all
right with him, just as those bolls are
ushering in the dawn of Christmas;
if he be rich, give him the usual
change of heart, and from habitual
and ingrained niggardliness and rasp
ing ill-temper metamorphose him into
a genial old philanthropist it'll go, in
a Christmas story.
Drop a few turkeys and cranber
ries on the poor consumptive's bed;
let some kind-hearted old Hebrew In
the sock business donate a dozen of
tho useful articles to the poor little
barefoot boy, fill 'em up with candies
and the usual outfit, and then have the
brakeman stick his head in at tho car
door and yell: "Merry Christmas. Last
stop!" --
OW is the tlmo ot
year wnen, as
Chaucer said,
"longen folk to
gon on pilgrim
ages" and these
good Americans
go abroad and vis-
It strange lands.
And somo ot
them novor forget
-yS that thoy aro good
Americans, but
proclaim It wher
ever uiey go so
that tho foreigner
laughs In his
sleevo and says:
"There aro those
boastful Ameri
cans again. Me-
thinks they do
protest too much."
If you nro sure
deep down in your heart that on tho
whole you belong to a country that Is
a leetle tho best on earth you will
do well to say nothing about It whllo
you aro abroad,
Just act so well that perfection of
manners will como In time to mean
something distinctively American, and
then, when the foreigner sees a sober,
well-behaved, kindly man walking
along tho streets of his town ho will
say: "Ah, it is easy to seo ho is ,an
American. There are no people In all
tho world as fine as thoy not oven
my own countrymen."
(Copyright, by Jamea Pott A Co.)
Invalid Once, a Happy Woman Now.
Mrs. C. R. Shelton, Plea3ant Street.
Covington, Tenn., says: "Once I
seemed a helpless in
valid, but now I en
joy the best of health.
Kidney disease
brought me down ter
ribly. R licumntic
aches and pains made
every move painful.
Tho secretions wero
disordered and my bend ached to dis
traction. I was In a bad condition, but
medicines failed to help. I lost ground
ilnily until I began with Doan's Kidney
Pills. They helped me at once and
soon made me strong and well."
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
An Undeterminable Temperature.
It was not in his public address that
Senator Beveridge related this story,
but at an Informal gathering of con
genial spirits. "When I was a boy in
Adams county," he said, "Judge Blank
was taken very 111. Tho doctor called
regularly; but the judge kept getting
worse. Finally the crisis came. The
morning after the doctor called at the
judge's house. 'I hope your master's
temperature is lower than It was last
evening,' said he to the butler.
" Th not so sure about that, replied
the man; 'he died, sir, in the night.'"
San Francisco Call.
When a man has reached the point
where ho can see no good in tho
world it is tlmo for him to get off.
Truth and
Quality
appeal to the Well-Informed in every
walk of life and are essential to permanent
success and creditable standing. Accor
ingly, it is not claimed that Syrup of Figs
and Elixir of Senna is tho only remedy of
known value, but ono of many reasons
why it is tho best of personal and family
laxatives is the fact that it cleanses,
sweetens and relievos the internal organs
on which it acts without any debilitating
after effects and without having to increase
the quantity from time to time.
It acts pleasantly and naturally and
truly as a laxative, and its component
parts aro known to and approved by
physicians, as it is free from all objection
able substances. To got its beneficial
effects always purchase the genuine
manufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co., only, and for sale by all leading drug
gists.
Libby's Cooked
Corned Beef
There's a big differ
ence between just
corned beef the kind
sold in bulk and
Libby's Cooked Corned
Beef. The difference
is in the taste, quality of
meat and natural flavor!
Every fiber of the
meat of Libby's Cooked
Corned Beef is evenly
and mi Idly cured;
cooked scientifically
and carefully packed in
Libby's Orcit While Kilchen
It forms an appetiz
ing dish; rich in food
value and makes a sum
mer meal that satisfies!
For Quick Serving :
Libby's Cooked Gorn
ed Beef, cut into thin
slices! Arrange on a
platter and garnish with
Libby's Ghow Chow!
A tempting dish for
luncheontdinner7supper
Write for free
book let" How
to .Make (food
Things to Eat."
Insist on
Libby's nt
your dealers.
Llbby, McNeill i
Llbby, Cnicarjo
3S