Nemaha Advkrtiskr A Positive jg
W. W- SANDERS, PuBtitMcn
Ncmalia,
Nebraska
A 1) rii Hi; Cnri-.
Tro hoard It said, doctor," remark
nl Mis Jonka, "that n yooil blx done of
lull water will ofton euro seasick-
DOSS."
That's possible," roplicd Uoclor
WlSO.
"Indeed?"
"Yes. If tlio iiuantlly at milt water
Is tmMclont to drown you. Philadel
phia I.iIkoi.
How lie Siuv II.
NS'tfu Tills book says that In Iiulln
U Hie custom to bury the living
win with hor dead hUHband. Imi't It
Icrrlblc!
IluKbund -Indeed It Is! The poop
husband- even death brings lilin no re
lease! Translated for Talcs from Stre-koza.
CURE FOR
GATARRH
Ely's Sraam Balir
n q.ilckly nssarlioe
Givoj "'eiicf nt Once.
It ell4llV, HOntlllH.
herds ami nroterlf
tln disfflHod ini'irilirano. It euros (yfunrrh
uiul driviniiwny nCold in the Hond quickly.
JtentorM tho H''1jkcs of "J ante mm hindi.
Fall nfzo fit) pt. at DruggUH or by mud;
Trial si?." I') . by mail.
li'r lJrothr, fjl Warron btretvt, New lork.
IVl'NOIIM.
ine for a
rldo
A Con fusion of
She Won't you tak
la your aiitomoblleV
lit -I'm Harry, but It's broke.
'Oh, aro youV" Translated for Talcs
from I,o It Ire.
com
said to u
SlIMI'lellHIft.
"I think It's about time for a
jidttee to examine Ids accounts,'
tho first plain citizen, referring
Jlty Hall olllelal.
"Why so?" Inquired the other.
"I notice people are beginning to call
him 'Honest .lohn.'" Catholic Stand
iml and Times.
Held I'p.
Jimmy Pores Yes, 1 cracked :i law
7 it's house, de udder night an' do law
ycr wuz. dero wld a gun wuitlu' fur
uie. He advised me ter git out.
Itlll Clymer (Joe! you got off easy,
Jimmy Pores Not much I didn't. Ho
vharged me ?t'2o fur de advice. I'hlln
lelphla Tress.
I r Vn ii ll;llvir.
"Do you believe in hypnotism?" nsk
fd tho Huffy-haired boarder, who write
type between meals.
"Sure I do," replied the old bacho
lor at tho foot, of the mahogany. "Other
wise I couldn't explain to my own sat
isfaetlon why men get married." Chi
titgo News.
THE BEST COUGH CURE
something else
When offered
Instead of
eiips
stop and consider: "Am I sure
to get Komcthing as good as this
Iicst cough euro?
If not sure, what good reason
is there for for taking chances in n
matter that may have a direct
hearing on my own or my family's
health?"
Sold by all dealers ut sje. and 50c.
ABSOLUTE
p.
Cenuino
Carter9s
WIT Of Tilt YOUNGSTERS.
Tommy--Mamma, didn't you say
:hnt tho cake in the pantry would make
aie sick If I was to eat It V .Mamma
tew, dear. Tommy Well, it didn't.
Small Harry- Mamma, what Is the
aieanliig of hereditary. .Mamma It !
joint-thing you get from your papa 01
oie. Small I lurry--Oh, you mean a
qiankin'.
"Now, Johnny." wild
Van you tell me what a
the teacher,
.Mormon lV"
the little fol-
ftn I)InIii-(Ioii.
City Man How shall I know which
house It is?
Suburbanite You'll be ablo to tell
easily enough. It's tho only one In
the neighborhood that hasn't a "foe
sale" sign on It. Puck.
ltd ti I'ny,
Little Liver Pills.
Wluot Dear Signature- of
See Pac-Slmllo Wrapper Uclow.
'Ye, ma'am," answered
low. "A Mormon Is a man whose wife
(s twins or triplet"."
"Whose little boy are you?" asked a
ohyslclan of a bright -l-year-old who
was playing on the steps of a patient's
'csldcnce. "I'se mamma's," replied the
tittle fellow. "Whose big papa Is you?"
I.lttlo Margie I said my prayers
'even times Sunday night, pupa. Papa
- Why did you do that, dear? Little
Margie--()h. so I wouldn't have tc
other saying 'em the rest of the week
The Visitor - Hon't you think your
eldest brother Is rather young to be a
.ihysk'ian, Johnny? Little Johnny Oh,
he ain't a real grown-up physician yet.
I guess he only doctors children so as
to get some practice.
"Well, Harry." said the hostess tc
Her small guest, "did you rest well last
light." "I don't know," answered liar
y. "You don't know !" echoed the lady.
"No. ma'am," replied the little chap. "I
was asleep all the time."
"Mamma." asked Margie on her re
turn home from Sunday school, "have
I any children?" "Of course not," re
plied her mother. "What put that Idea
Into your head?" "I'.ecause our lesson
was about people and their children's'
children," explained the little- student.
Tommy, aged .". was a very sympa
thetic little fellow, one day upon hi
return home from a visit to an animal
ihowlie found his mother suffering with
a severe case of throat, trouble. "I'm
awfully sorry for you, mamma." h
said, "but I'm glad you ain't a giraffe."
Vorjr inanll ntiil n ctuijr
to take as Kiignr.
CARTERS
1
ITTLE
EVER
Price
FOR HEADACHE.
FOR DIZZINESS.
FOR BILIOUSNESS.
FOR TORPID LIVER.
FOR CONSTIPATION.
FOR SALLOW 3KIH.
FOR THECOMPLEXIQK
OHCNVirVli MUtTKAVt A10WATUItC
AS A MAN WIPETH A DISH.
cents I Xurclr Vcffetablo.V?-!
St'l'l t 11 1'e.s ' to Show
I'ropei- Vorallon.
editor of the
citizen of tin?
who is being
and uubecoin
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
City ManAre you still keeping
Muunier boarders?
Kl Xope, but I'm keepln a fow of
their trunks!
No 'i-u-Hy.
Traveled Yes, 1 was captured by tho
savages, and sentenced to marry a
Usquaw.
Hostess Horrible!
Traveled Yes: but they had somo
mercy. They did not Insist on a fash
ionable wedding. New York Weekly.
Cold Ili-coiXlon.
Coined lau What became of that old
Is'ow England play that had a real
snowstorm?
Soubrette It met with a heavy frost,
Chicago Xews.
(rami K punic
She (sentimentally )--What a glori
ous view from this mountain top! How
one's Ideas seem to expand.
Ho Yes. The Inkeeper charged a
dollar for these two sandwiches.
a Cain ttcrf' w fciJ vua a
53.50 &$3nOO Shoes
DCST IN THE WORLD
W.L.Doi!clas$4 Gilt Edge lino.
cannatbBcqunllodaianyptico
71) Shoe Dtatrrs:
W. 1 1. IlouulnH Jot
lilnsi Homo 1 tlio must
complete In thta ooumry
Htmlor C(fn(otf
iff
llKh "e Wi.mp.
Husband (during the spat) Then
you adinlC that you married me for a
home.
"Wife Yes.
Husband Well, that Isn't so bad. I
was beginning to think you had mar-I
ried me for spite.
Jokesmlth
jokesmith
I'ruclU'iil Slile.
Eva So you gave up a
for a blaeksinlth. Why, a
ran furnish wit and humor.
Kdna Yes, but a blacksmith can fur
iilsli steak and onions.
Mow II llflllN,
Iltwiklns (a visitor in the Canadian
woods) I notice that tho loggers oat
a great deal of pork ; I supposo it Is '
great help to them?
The Moss Yes, pork chops.
Ill'l I'unll.
The Young Husband (growling)
This chicken Is like a piece of India
fuhber.
The Young Wife (in tears) Pleasb
tlon't scold, Tom; It is all my fuult: I
asked for u spring chIckMi.
SHOES FOR EVERYBODY AT ALL PRICES
M01V1. She... $0 to $1.60. yoys' Bboj". 83
toSl.23. Women's Bhixu. $4.00 to 81.00.
Ml8' & OhtUlrou'a 8U0M. $3-30, !1-00- ,
Tr V. I. Dmiirlus AVoimtnV, 9LiikUh and
OUIMioii'h shofn; for atylo, lit ami wour
tlmy oxcol otlior innkcx.
If 1 could take you Into my large
factories at Brockton, AIass.,nnd show
you how carefully W.L. Douglas shoc.-j
arc mado, you would then understand
wiiv ihev hold their shape, fit better,
wear longer, and arc of greater value
than any other make.
Wherever you live, you can obtnln w. u
DoiiRlns nJioes. His name unil prl" s1st1n1,rc
on the bottom, which protect youaRalust hlb
price and Interior shoes. Take no ,'
tute. Ask your itculcr lor W. L. Douulas shod
and tniht upon ImvlnR them.
fait Color Wft itsetl, Vitv will not wear bmssij.
Wrlto lor lllustratrd Catnlocul Pall Myles.
' W. L. UOUdl.AS, Dept. 1-t, llrockton, Must,
IV'Ifc UtlllllVH (In
IIiinIiiiiiiI III';
If we may believe the
LMorence Item there is a
fair suburb of Florence
impressed Into unwilling
lug domestic service, having beeu
tlianghaied under false pretense.
It appears that this man was be
sought by the wife of his bosom W;
wipe the dishes, and when he had an
swered this unreasonable request in
suitable terms the perverse woman
brought out the Holy Scriptures tc
show him that the wiping of dishes is
a man's proper vocation. She cited bin;
to. 11. Kings. 121 : Hi, wherein the Lord,
speaking by his servants the prophets,
says: And l will stretch over Jerusa
lem the line of Samaria and the plum
met of the house of Aliab: and I will
wipe Jerusalem as a man wlpetn a
dish, wiping it and turning It upsldn
down.
We do not opine that this is a case.
for a rescue expedition or any violent
measures, for a man may wipe dishes
and still live, although It is a rather
i hopeless and subdued existence. A man
who wlnoth a dish or two and turneth
the same upside down, under the shade
of his own tig tree In the shank of the
ovcnlnc. Is In hotter business than he
who goeth to the tavern where he turn
oth several dishes unshle down and
wlpeth his mustache and plnyetl
pinochle.
Hut, at the same time, let us keej.
the records straight. The verse quoted
from the second book of Kings said
nothing about a man, In the original
It said "will wipe Jerusalem as wlpeth
a dish." Hut the Kngllsh Idiom re
quires a subject for the verb, so that
tho translators put In the word "man"
where the Hebrew had nothing. They
could just us well have said "woman,"
and the only reason why they didn't,
probably, Avas that they wanted to slg
nlfy doing a good job of It.
We don't really care whether that
Florence man keeps on wiping dishes
or not, but with the meddlesome dlsjK)
sltlon common to humanity we should
like to Inform him that, he Is being
bumboozled. Omaha World-Horn Id.
HOLD UP!
3Lnd con&iclezo
I i
wmm
BBS
J"JL poMMEL
BRAND&LICKE&
LIKE ALU
WATERPROOF
CLOTHING.
Ijmadf of thf best
rrwhrialvInWdcKcrytllow
fulhrcMirdflttciiriscMbyl
IT 3TICKT0THE
SIGN OFTHE FISH
T0Wt CAMAJU CXUnnt AJTOWtH to.
TORONTO, CAH. nim.nnuiuj
to
Smiiii .
That was a clevah thing you said
Mr. Frescliey lawst evening," began
Sapliead.
Cholly
"Who
HVtss.
'Why,
enow "
'Yes,
:l'ver?"-
told you?" demanded Miss
1 heard you say It. yon
but who told you it was
-Philadelphia Press.
IIimv ll' HnimiiioiI,
To what, major, do you attribute
rour longevity?"
'Principally to the fact that
jaronts never kept an unloaded
n the house." Houston Tost.
my
gun
Unless a ulrl has unlimited faith In
ler complexion she will not tolerate u
tlss on her caeek.
Woman's Mi
depends so much upon" her ' functions,
that the least upset of them affects her
whole system. It is the little things
that count, in woman's life and health.
The little pains, and other symptoms of
womanly disorder, soon lead up to big
things, serious pains, serious diseases.
It is for just these ordinary, common,
womanly troubles, that the use of a
gentle, strengthening, female tonic, like
Woman's Relief
has brr:n found so successful, in thousands of cases,"1
in relieving and curing. "I had been troubled with
female complaints for 12 months," writes Mrs.
Bettie Arp, of Ballplay, Tenn., "and although I was.
under doctors' care for four months, they did but
little good. I took one bottle of Wine of Cardui
and one dollar's worth of Thedford's Black
Draught, and now I am better. I believe Cardui
saved my life. We are poor people, but I shall
always keep it in the house." It relieves woman's
worst pains and regulates fitful functions. Try it.
At All Bragglsts lit $1.00 Bottles
and frankly, in strictest confidence, telling all your troubles, and stating
age. We will send you FREE ADVICE, in plain sealed en
velope, and a valuable 64-page Book on "HOME TREAT
MENT FOR WOMEN." Address: Ladies' Advisory Dept., The
Chattanooga Medicine Co., Chattanooga, Tenn. ghss
S t'c'i o c r. x.s O s.
Mo
ore
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Oil Heater how simple and ecouomicnl
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(Equipped with Smokeless Device)
Turn the wick as high or low as you can there's no danger.
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Made in two finishes nickel and japan. Brass oil fount beauti
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hours. Every heater warranted. If you cannot get
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nearest agency for descriptive circular.
cannot be
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its bricht
and steady light, simple con
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Equipped with latest improved burner. Made of
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Wnte to nearest
0
any room whether library, dintng-i
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agency if not at your dealer's.
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
W Sale Ten Million Boxes a Year.
B TI,E FAMILY'S FAVORITE MEDICINE
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