BACK TO UNDY'S.
I want to go bnck to 'Ltndy's back to tho old farm place,
Whcro the friends1 1 knew were true iu blue and poverty no dlsgracoj
I want to forget the signing, the rush and the rattloty-bang,
The whistle's toot, the rumbling cart and the car boll's noisy clang,
I'd like to go back n-rovlng In the drowsy .afternoons,
And drown the sounds of the grimy town hi an ocean of clover blooms.
I wnnt to go back to 'Lludy'ft back to the "Stubtoo Laud,"
Where It didn't takp much of learning to make folks understand;
Where the grasp of a hand was rugged, hut the clasp was linn and true,
And the eyes of the man behind them looked honest and frank at you.
I want to steal off at twilight us I did when the sun sank low,
And dream the dreams that were mine to dream In the hazy afterglow.
I want to go back to 'Lludy's back thro the stretch of years,
I want to go bnck to the boyhood track beyond the doubts and fears;
It seems but a step back yonder to the Holds and the rose leaf rain
A step in miles, but ah! the years they're linked In an endless chain t
What little of spoil I've garnered, what little the world has doled,
t would barter tt all, thrice over, to live In Its sweet enfold.
I want to go back to 'Lludy's where the white road winds away
O'er valley and hill and dale and rill to the rltn of distant gray;
I want to get. out In the open, where a fellow' has elbow room
Where's he never afraid to cross .the street for fear he will meet his doom.
Rack to the fragrant orchard and the cool of the grateful sod
For that was as near, I reckon, as ever I've been to (Sod.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
j A Trying Predicament.
HN the winter of 187. when busi
ness was very dull, I unfortunately
happened to be out of a situation.
1 had traveled through several West
ern cities In quest of employment, but
without success. At last I found my
self In one of the hotels la Louisville,
studying the state of my lhiances and
prospects.
Having received a good education. I
could keep a set of books with any
man ; few could excel me as a salesman.
My lot seemed to be doubly unfortu
nate. Why was 1 not a mechunic? I
could then have easily obtained what
I wanted.
In the inhNt of my reverie a short,
Bout, nervous-looking gentleman, who
hiid been eyeing me for some time,
asked me If I bad been long In Louis
Tille. Helng out of sorts with myself and
eeryone else, I did not answer him
with extreme jkjI I tcnoss.
"You seem down-hearted," he con
tinued, still gazing at me as if he not
only wanted to know my business, but
INOAl'AIU.K OV DOING FUKTHKK 11AUM.
my height, size and wearing apparel;
even my boots were closely scrutinized.
I evaded his question by remarking
on the dull business season.
"Are you looking for work?"
"You have anticipated my wants cor
rectly," I replied, in hopes of ending
the conversation, as ho did not look
like a man who hired eltlier clerks or
bookkeepers.
"An' you a jiowerful man?" he said,
continuing ills examination. "If so, I
might hire you."
'There is not a man In the city I am
afraid to grapple with," I replied,
eagerly, overjoyed at the sudden pros
poet of getting a situation.
"I think you will answer my pur
pose," he said, walking around me as If
he were purchasing a horse.
Having finished the Inspection, he
took me aside and Informed me, In the
strictest conlldence, that he had a slel
brother who required a nurse. From
what, he could see, l was competent to
fill the herUi.
"As to salary," he continued. "If you
unit me, I will make it liberal; hut out
thing you must promise me,"
I at once expressed my willingness to
make the promise If it would not, at
any time, involve me in trouble.
He set my fears at rest at that point
ns all he wanted was that while I was
In his employ 1 would not make the
world wiser as to what I was. doing.
There was nothing unreasonable In any
.;ployei''s exacting such a promise.
" cepted his offer.
JiUldlug me follow hltn, wo travorsw
everal streets until we arrived la front
of a large mansion1 In one of the prin
cipal thoroughfares. My guide using
the latchkey, wo entered the house
without ceremony.
After dinner 1 was Introduced to my
charge, who was the exact counterpart
In looks, of his brother. I glauced from
out; to the other, wondering Itow It was
M)sslble for two men to be so much
alike.
"My name Is William Harrison," said
the brother who hired me, "and this Is
Mr. Charles Harrison."
"Twin brothers?" I said, looking from
one to the other.
"Yes, we are twins," said Mr. Wil
liam. "Unfortunately, Charles is pe
culiar In his manner, and I wish you
to look after him In fact, to bo his con
stant companion."
"Ills constant companion?" I relat
ed. "What! Is he crazy?" I asked,
aside, of Mr. William.
"Yes, a little out of his head," he re
plied. "You must be careful not to let
him get the upper hand of you In auy
way, and when he Is violent, there la n
strait-Jacket," he said, showing me the
article on a sideboard.
"All right," I said. "Now, as I un
derstand you, I must use this when I
think proper to do so?" i
"Yes," he replied, "whenever you
have occasion to. Of course, you must
ues proper Judgment, and not be too vi
olent. I ran see by your looks that you
are a very powerful man In fact, I
pride myself ou being so fortunate as to
secure y'ou."
He was right In his judgment as to
my lowers; I have met few men In
my lit clime wno equaled me in
strength.
During our conversation Mr, Charles
at still, without saying a word. I
gain compared them. The similarity
f features, build, even their hair,
which was gray, was remarkable; both
wore their whiskers alike, it was the
tlrst time in my life I was puzzled In
making a distinction whereby I could
tell one man from another.
As a last resource I was obliged to
make a note of their different costumes,
n order to know Mr. Charles apart
from Mr. William.
What If I was to mistake flu my
online as keeier and nurse), one
brother for tho other? A dread of the
fearful consequence that would follow
came over me, arm i can usuuro you
It was some time before I could reat
asy in mind.
Mr. William retired, leaving me with
ny charge. The change, at least, fur
nished tlie' pressing requirements for
the time, rnsulted though It was to
my taste, I soon fell Into the dull
routine the life of a nurse to a mad
man furnishes, and, before a week was
up, I felt myself ierfectly able to take
any lirst-class josltlon that ottered as
keeper of the unfortunate Insane com
munity.
Mr. Charles, at times, was violent
and rough In his manner, but after I
had given him a taste of the strait-
Jacket a few times he troubled me very
little. Occasionally he would go down
on his knees and plead love for an im
aginary lady, then start up with a blus
tering air, and order mo out of the
room as If I had no business there.
And really, I must say, there was very
little need of my staying by htm all
the time; but I was paid for It, so I
was obliged to obey.
Thev were lsth bachelors,, having
considerable property. Mr. Charles be
came Insane a few years previous. His
brother preferred taking charge of him
instead of sending him to an asylum.
At times Mr. William did not appear
as rational us he should be, but It was
his necullur munner. I learned from
the servants that lie had been for years
paying his addresses to a Miss Hteb-
blii3, an elderly maiden lady belonging
to one of the first families of IaiuIsvIUo.
She often visited tho house. Ho would
o very tender In his manner toward
her and would offer his arm when they
walked in the garden, but marriage, or
any arrangement to that end, was never
hinted at. He seemed to be content
with paying the polite addresses due
from an engaged swain to the object of
his choice, and there It ended. It was
evident that ho was either too bashful
to proceed with his suit beyond that
mark, or else tho lady objected to him,
and preferred single blessedness to tho
duties and cares of married life.
The latter seemed Improbable, as
Mist Stebblns, when they promenaded
ou tlie piazza, hung lovingly ou his
arm and threw such sweet glances at
her escort that they letrayed her will
bigness to unite her fortunes with his.
Then It was clear that the fault was
altogether on the part of Mr. William.
As the summer advanced, Miss Steb
blns came Oftener. The greenhouse re
quired rearranging before winter set
In. T.ho alterations were begun and
curried out under her plans. Mr. Wil
liam was a willing slave to her Ideas;
and as I watched hltn from my window
receiving her suggestions ulnuit how the
dome III the center was to be built, I
really believe that had she proposed
carrying It up a hundred feet he would
have had It done.
It was evidently coming to a climax.
Mr. William Intended getting married;
If not to Miss Stebblns, certainly some
lady would soon be mistress of his es
tablishment. t present, no other female appeared.
'Pint rtvill ,K,l.ttl,ulrkt tlllht-nriru Ink
drawu was that Mr. William Harrison
and Miss Clarlnda Stebblns, hoth of the
city of Louisville, were ulon t tt) com
mit matrimony.
As for myself, during the hot weath
er having Itttle to do, I was fast grow
ing fat OJid lazy, and the financial pros
pect Inifore me looked decidedly cheer
ing. So well had I managed my charge
that Mr. William hired me by the year;
an agreement was made out, which we
both signed, that I was to continue In
the cnpnelty of nurse to his brother
for the space of twelve mouths, begin
ning June 1, at a salary of $1."0 a
month.
Immediately after we had made this
permanent arrangement, Mr. William
left Louisville5 for a few days, and I
was alone with Mr. Charles. .
One flue afternoon lie was taking his
after-dinner nap, which generally last
ed for a couple of hours. 1 foolishly
left him and went out for a walk. I
was gone about an hour. When I re
turned to the house a sight met my eyes
that made my blood riui" cold. .Mr.
Charles was In. the room. next his own,
kneeling at the feet of a lady.
1 always' prided myself on' being a
gallant, and would never allow a lady
to be Insulted, much more to see her
at the mercy of a madman. I rushed In
and secured him.
"How dare you come In here and be
have In .this manner, you rascal?" he
said, In his usual crazy manner.
"I'll show you,"1 1 replied, taking the
strait-Jacket out of my pocket, where I
always carried It, ready for Instant use.
'Tnhnnd me, sir, and" go out of the
room!" he exclaimed, pointing to the
door.
Hy this time the lady had fainted.
Seeing her drooping head, as she sank
m the lounge, was enough. I grappled
with him, and, In spite of all he could
do, 1 quickly put the strait-jacket on
him, and he win Incapable of doing any
further harm.
Having secured my charge, I turned
. I m . 1-1 tt...
my attention to me uuiy. laumj; mv
water pitcher, which always stood in
the room, I sprinkled her face; when
she revived and looked at Mr. Charles
dinting In the stralt-Jai'ket she gave an
unearthly scream, and fainted In ear
nest that time. I thought she was
dead.
What could I do? The servants were
out, and I alone with a madman In a
strait-Jacket, and a lady In hysterics.
If ever mortal was lu a more trying
predicament, I should like to know It.
Let me out of this, you villain!" lie
thundered.
"When 1 get ready." I replied, taking
my knife and cutting open tlie lady's
tight dress, to ease her. I fairly
drenched her In water, to no purpose.
I could scarcely distinguish her breath
ing. Taking a lump of Ice from the
pitcher and holding It to her fore
head, the chill revived her a little.
1 was congratulating myself . on hav
ing saved her life, when she looked at
Mr. Charles.
"Oh, my darling!" she sobbed out,
then, giving another shriek, off she went
agatu.
I was In a worse tlx than ever, with
a crazy woman as well as a man to
take care of. I believe, at that moment,
If I Ivid had another strait-Jacket in
my jxcket, It would have gone on her.
1 rubbed her forehead with Ice, and
chafed .her hands, whilst my knife had
jierfecUy loosened Jier dress from neck
to waist.
I was afraid she would die under my
bands; then what should I do? I rang
the bell for the servants, but they were
out, so no help came from that quarter.
Going to tho sideboard. I took.somo
brandy and hold It to hor Hps; my
charge was raving till the time.
"If you don't stop your row, and let
mo uttend this lady, I will gag you I"
I said, threatening him.
The brandy had the desired effect.
She started up and rushed to hlpi. Her
dress, which before was a perfect lit,
now hung In shreds. She clasped him
around the neck, declaring I should not
kill hltu.
I gently disengaged her from him.
"Come," I said, soothingly, "It pains
me to see you so excited. Oaltn your
self; I will soon get some one to take
charge of you."
Seating her ou the lounge, I again
rang the bell for help; visible signs of
hysterics appeared; she was having a
relapse. I shouted for Some one to
come. Judge of my astonishment when
she began calling me a villain for serv
ing her darling In that way. .
"My good lady," I replied, "although
you are old enough to be my mother, I
beg to disagree with you; It Is for his
good."
How far I should have gone,' or
what other means I should have taken
to quiet my two mad icople, I really
cannot say, had not one of the servants
(Altered at that moment. She, too, gave
a scream at our ludicrous appearance.
"What! are you mad as well?" I said.
"Come here and help me out of this
plight."
She came up to us. A word was
enough to reveal to my blundering eyes
the mistake I had made. It was Mr.
William I had, been handling. To take
the strait-Jacket off htm and retire to
my room was the work of a moment. I
locked the door after me.
The Imprecations I overheard heaped
on my head were certainly enough to
frighten any man of moderate nerve.
Miss Stebblns new mauve silk was all
cut to pieces; even her fancy corsets
were ruined by my cutting them In two,
not to mention a splendid sash of wa
tered silk, costing I don't know how
much, and the shock to her nerves was
irreparable.
1 found my charge, the real maniac,
sleeping quietly In bed. Leaving him
to tlnlsh his nap, I began to. ruminate
on the chances of my going to the pen
ltentlary. J list then I overheard Mr.
William Stebblns ordering the servant
to fetch a policeman, when .Miss Steb
bins interrupted him.
"Do not send for the police," she
said. "We shall have to ' go to court,
and our love will be made -public In
the eycsof the gaping world,; the Clar
onees will torment my life out of me."
"So much In my favor, my good la
dy," l said to myself, at the keyhole.
"1 will get rhl of him at once," said
Mr. Wlllam. "The rascal! It was only
the other day that I hired him for a
year. Come out!" he continued, knock
ing at the door.of my room.
JUy overhearing their conversation
had set my mind at rest on the Jail
question. Miss Stebblns being In hlgl
social standing, money could not havt
Hired her to be cross-examined In a
public court, and the result of my bluu
derh'ig Interruption of their Interesting
toto-a-tete made known to her friends,
She was quick-sighted enough ' to see
that, In the midst of her trouble.
When I thought their passions had
moled a little, I opened the door, and
at the sight which met my eyes It was
lniM)sslble for uio to repress a hearty
laugh, which did not raise me any
higher In their opinion.
Mr. William was wiping the perspira
tion off Ids face and declaring to Miss
Stebblns that the- dlsugrceablo affair
should have no effect on their engage
ment, while she stood by holding her
dress, the splendid 'mauve silk, in any
thing but graceful 'folds about her love
ly person.
"Villain!" said Mr. William, "get out
of the house!"
"Yes, scoundrel that you are!" said
Miss StebbliiH. getting decidedly pas
sionate. "I'll teach you to cut my new
mauve silk and sash all to pieces! And
my French corsets have not escaped ;
you shall be hung for It!"
I stood Ktlll, unable to say a word
In my defense.
"What are you staring at?" said Mr.
William.
"1 am going to stay my year out," I
replied, doggedly. "I sha'n't budge
until the tlrst of next June without my
salary."
There was another dlfllculty for hltn
to surmount'.
"Oct rid of him," said Miss Stebblns,
"or I leave, 1 .oulavllle."
Her word was law. He went to his
room, ami returned lu a few minutes
with a check, which he handed me,
saying:
"There, sir, now go, and never dark
en my door again."
I took the check, which was for my
year's salary, anil 'went out of the house
and situation In five minutes. Klght
eeu hundred dollars wa.s quite an item
for the loss I sustained. I came to
Northern Ohio, started lu business, and.
lu suite of Mr. Harrison's maledictions
and the ruined mauve silk, I am do
lug well from the proceeds of piy "try
lug predicament."
A clever mimic would bo good com
pany were It not for the feeling that
he Is also a clever mimic behind your
buck.
CROW AND JAP TONGUES AKIN
Tho Two ImiiKnitRvii llnre Many
Word lu Common Horr in Itf
"It Is not generally known that tho
Crow Indlnu language Is very much
akin to that of the Japanese," said
Col. S. C. Reynolds, government agent
at the Crow Indian Agency.
"That an Indian tribe 2,(X)) ml lea
from the const should have many worda
In common with a nntlou on the other
side of the earth la most reimirkahlo
and owns a line of theory and research
upon which ethnologists and llngulsta
an spend much time and study.
"Over on the Crow reservation, near
the Custer battlelleld, lives a negro
named 'SnuJcy.' Smoky was born ou
the reserve and has been adopted Into
the Crow tribe, ho he Is nn Indlnn.
He talks the Indian language better
than he does Kngllsh. Smoky nhyaya
works around the agency, and usually
for the Indian agent.
"Last year I hud a Japanese cook
at the agency. Several days after ho
came to work for me three Map.', sec
tion men from the Iturllngtou rail-
road'rt ging came one evening to hcmy
my cook. - Tuey wore in me aiccueui
Jabbering away when Smoky came In.
"A few minutes later tho negro came.
Into my library and told me the 'Japs
were tu)k,lng Crow Instead . of their
own hu'gluige. At that time I could
speak' liidlati only In a II in I fori way
but I went Into the kitchen and naked;
my cook (who could speak Rngllah)
about It. To my surprise I found Unit?
Smoky was partially correct, and thatl
many of the Jiijxuieso wools wore usotU
In the Crow language with Identically
the same meaning. I urn not enough
of an ethnologist to say whero theao
Identical words came 'from, or whether1
or not'.the'Orows and the Japanese had
a common origin, but It Is curious fact"
that ''tnViiQ languages are' very much
alike.'" New York Tlinea.
Three of tho Most famous namert Uu
Scot eh history have recently boom
llnkeil together. The .chain Is hung with
pendants of song and story, .'genera?
lions of "daring and Joyalty.. and self.
sacrifice and .deathless' honor. ,
'A, few weeks ago tochlcl, chief of 'tho.
Cameron, married Lady Hermlouei
(Sraliam, daughter of the Duke of Mont-(
rose, ' 'A, part of their wedding Jour-j
ney .was, performed on foot through tho,
Highlands, along tho paths which their1
famous ancestors luul trod In their bat
tlcHjfor. the king. ,, ,
L-'ioin Loch Arkalg, so celebrated lnl
all the stories of L'rlnco Charlie, a boat)
Carried IA-hlel' liinl his bride ' to 'Aeh
lijicarry, where a piper, clad lu the redi
tartan of the dimerous, blew tho wol-i
come home for the handsome pair.
At their wedding was announced tho
engagement., of the bride's brother, the
young Marquis of (Sraliam, "to Lady
Mary Douglas-Hamilton. Tho inarqula
Is the eldest sou and heir of the Duke,
of Montrose. Lady' Mary Is the only
child of the late twelfth Duke of Ham-.
llton, and the richestt,rj.led single wom
an In all tlie United Kingdom.
She Is a direct 'descendant of Jame
II., King of Scotland,, as well as great-i
great-granddaughter of vtlie Ill-starredl
"Impress Josephine. She possesses uing
nlllceiit estates anil residences In- dif
ferent parts of Scotland and England,
hep favorite of whjchjs. Jlro.djck Qastlo
on the Island of Arrau, over which Is-i
laud' audits live thousand dnhabltanla
she" rules', as virtual queen, with tho
feudfil title of tlie Lady of" Arrau.
The Duke of Montros.ej father of. the
brother and sister participating In theso
two romantic marriages Is' still lu the
prime of llfe.v His ancestors were ele
vated to the Scotch peerage lu the HC--tcMith
century and the Hrst MarqulH of
Montrose was probably the most bril
liant soldier Scotland ever produced..
Kveryouo knows how well ho fought for
his royal master, Charles L, and per
ished ou the scaffold for his loyalty.
Last summer the Duke of Montrose'
visited the I'nlted States on a singular
quest, seeking tlie heart of Montrose.
The great marquis, before his ''execu
tion, bequeathed to Lady Napier . IiIhi
heart, which she had embalmed and In
closed In a little steel case made of tho
blade of' the hero's sword. A gold
filigree Ikx and a silver urn further
protected the precious relic.
(SeiieratlouK later the 'urn and ltfl
contents were stolen, sold to a Madura
chief, and b'eenmo famous as a talis
man. Hy a curious coincidence, the H fo
ol" the son of this chief was saved
from death by a descendant of tho
Naplers, who availed himself of the
chiefs gratitude to regain twsesslou of
the heart of Montrose.
Ills family was arrested lu Franco'
during the French revolution, and tho
famous urn again disappeared. ' For
many years tho Dukes of Mont rose have'
sought to trace the relic, which Is now
believed to rest In some' private col
lection lu the United StateH. ,
A l'l" Alnrm of ihn future.
The Captain of the Airy Fairy I'lli
Mimot the tlrst man wno lavs hands ou
a narachuto! The ship Is not on; fire,
I tell you ! Wo am meroly iaHHlng(ovor
fill...!....,.. I Tt.is.lr
I'lllWJIII I , A Ul.ni t