Y
Nemaha Advertiser
W. W. SAND'ERG, PunDSMcn
Nemaha,
Nebraska
III .Special I-.
Tho buhpIcIouh clinrnctor
Vtl3
brought boforc tlio court.
"What do you do for u llvln
V",
asked tho stern old Judge.
'Tin u garment worker," replied tho
young 11111 11 with n grin.
"Indeed! What part of tho garment
do you -work on?"
"Oh, mo specialty Is vest pockets,
yer honor. I "
But tho cold,
drowned tho rest.
clanking doors
Fly I mm;.
Gunner And was the racing auto
mobile going so very fast?
Guyor 1 should say so. Why, after
the accident when they went to look
for the "First Aid to the Injured"
book It -was In the next county."
tint Kiinlly '1'lrcMl.
First Person So your congregation
Aid not give you a vacation this year?
Second Parson No.
First Parson Well, they are cer- ,
talnly tho most dllilcult lot of people
A . At. . . . . i . . 1 . .... . 1 I
to tire out I ever heard of.
No itlNk.
"I understood your life Insurance
company regarded you as an excep
tionally good risk."
"No," answered the displeased pol
icy holder. "I wasn't any risk. I
ivas a sure thing." Washington Star.
No Way of Kncuikn
Little Freddv (after listening to the
nsual matutiual quarrel between his
father and mother) Mamma, If a lit
tle boy is very, very good all the time
when he is little, does he have to got
married when lie's grown up? Tales.
IU IIOHtOll.
"Of course," said tho visitor, "whan
rou share an apple with your little
brother you never take the largest
naif, do you?"
"Most assuredly not," replied little
Emerson. 'There being but two
halves to an apple there can bo no
largest.' " Philadelphia Press.
Tho Shrewd Hnalmml.
"No, we are not going abroad."
"What's the reason?"
"My husband wouldn't go unless wo
..I A .1 J9 At.... 1
Could tour Russia, and, of course, that
was out of tho question." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
One Way of Dolnjr It.
Count de Lovesick Oh, I long to
make soino great, noblo sacrifice to
flo something to or you lenow
make tho world better!
Miss Charming You might try sui
cide.
A Safer IMaue.
"Doesn't it innke you nervous to
be in tho road when an automobile
Comes along at breakneck speed V"
"Yes," answered the suburban
dweller, "but I'd rather be In tho road
than in tho machine." Washington
Star.
HIHIiim; Hack.
"Do you seo that gentleman in the
tlg black tie and checked jacket V"
eald tho meek little woman as she
turned the corner. "Well, he Is an
artist I would like so much for you
to have him paint your portrait."
"lndeodl" replied tho husband, who
always growls at tho table; "Is he a
good artist?"
"Fine. IIo is known as the best
wild auimnl painter In the country."
Up ttiid DuwaN.
"Why," asked tho senior partner,
'have you marked this mahogany ta
ble down?
"Because," explained the Junior
member of tho firm, "it is scratched
up."
Dlneovcrvd at I.ant.
Urban I hear you have a new do
mestic. Where did you it her?
Homer I think she ui -st bo an an-
gel that came straight ftom heaven.
Urban Why do you think so.'
Homer Well, she has been with us
three days, and my wife hasn't made
a complaint.
Ill Mttle Jo!ct.
IIo (during the narrative) And be
fore we met again two long years and
eight others had rolled by.
She (sarcastically) Oil, then some
rears are longer than others, aro they?
lie Sure. Leap years are one d.iy
longer, you know.
litttwecn Fi-leiulN.
"Hut," said the dear friend, "you
certainly do not expect to marry
again V"
"Why notV" rejoined the popular ac
tress. "I hope you don't mean to In-
ilnuate that I'm old enough to begin
jiving farewell tours."
IIopch-MM Cneu.
Illoeker Perhaps you could fright-
pn.your wife into treating you better
if you would threaten to commit sui
cide.
Meeker- Not union. Siio'tl treat me
worse than ever If I should thrt.Uen
to do it and didn't."
In many parts of the Alps girls wear
trousers when coasting.
In lOOl one out of every seven Lon
don children under tho age of twelve
mouths died.
Oscar Hunt, one of the Carlisle foot
ball team, Is an Indian millionaire
from Oklahoma.
. T.i t. nv..1nnin linu Trllllul 111 i llfl
Interior of Borneo a singular ami
in-owsotne wedding gift, it was the
skull of a Nogrlto-Pupon, carved by
the Uayaks.
Alexander 0. Botkln, who died re
cently at. tho national capital, was
chairman of tho commission charged
with the revision of the criminal laws
of this country.
The Mikado of Japan Is a good hunt
er and llsherman and an excellent shot
with a rllle. Ills devotion to lawn ten
nis Is marked and he Is an excellent
wlelder of a racquet.
Mrs. John F. Spencer, living In Ma
rlon County, South Carolina, Is a llv-
Ii,,,,,ri,,.r- nf n Ttf.vnhitlniuirv sol-
Captain Stephen Gorbold, one of
" I
Marion's men, and was born on Oct.
28, 182.
The original phonograph was in
vented by Thomas Kdlson In lbu,
The grooved drum was covered with
tin foil, which received the Impres
sions made by a needle fixed on a deli
cate vibrating plate of metal.
Mrs. Sarah Ann Woolf, of Utah,
who has died at the age of 1)1, left ten
children, eighty-one grandchildren, 18'J
great-grandchildren and twenty-throe
great-great-grandchildren, In all .50.1
living descendants. Fifty-four of her
descendants are dead.
During next term at the Washing
ton State University a special course
lu Socialism will be given, it will
Include anarchism, communism, so
ciallsin In Its three brnneluu State,
agrarian and single tax and religious
or altruistic, as taught by Washington
Gladden.
An Arkansas City man who had
twice been divorced took his third wife
to the theater recently. Ills two earlier
wives have become good friends, and
when the couple took their seats the
man i00ked around, and to his conster-
....... I
nation saw he had three wives In a
row beside him.
Great efforts are being made In
Cape Colony to introduce co-operative
methods lu agriculture. A letter has
recently been addressed by the gov
eminent co-operative expert to the sec
retaries of agricultural societies lu the
olony, suggesting the co-operative
purchase of seeds, manures, Imple
ments and Improved machinery
A IJrltlsh explorer recently returned
from Abyssinia says that he was for
four months In a region hitherto un
known to white men. Along the trib
utaries of the IMue Mle lie tountl a
mining population engaged In wash
ing gold. He reports that there is an
enormous quantity of gold in this re
gion, In which thousands of natives
work.
According to a recent report coal
mining has been commenced on the
west coast of Spltzborgen. The dis
covery or coal is one or the results
achieved by the Swedish expedition
sent out to study the geology of Spits
bergen. About two hundred tons of
coal were mined this summer, of
which ninety tons were taken by a
Splt.borgen whaling company.
It Is calculated that In Loudon alone
about -1,000 persons regularly make a
living by begging; that the average
Income for each amounts to S7.."0 a
weak, or together, over $1,500,000 a
year. Last year about 12,000 persons
were arrested for begging lu the
streets of Loudon and many of them
were possessed of considerable sums
of money and even of bank books
showing handsome deposits.
Aluminum paper Is now manufac
tured in Germany and recommended
as a substitute for tinfoil. It is not
the so-called leaf aluminum, but real
paper coated with powdered aluminum
and is considered to possess very fa
vorable qualities for preserving aril-
:les of food for which It Is usgd as a
Mverlng. Aluminum paper is much
jheaper than tinfoil and will become
i strong competitor thereof.
A PELICAN YEAR.
niivratlou Ui'ztIiin la Xovc-nilier iiml
XcNttiiif Season I, tints Till June.
Year after year, in the first week
in November, with singular exactness
the pelicans como to their unattrac
tive little mud Hat, says Frank M.
Chapman In the Century. Some como
from up, some from down the river,
all evidently moved by a common im
pulse. What Is It? It is not a ques
tion of food, for tho pelicans rarely
feed near t'.iejr nesting places; it is
lot a quoUlon of climate, for they do
jot go far enough from their breeding
riMund to experience climatic change
, hen returning to It.
The Journ y Is clout tless promulod
from within. With birds tho season
of reproduction Is periodic, and with
migratory species, whether the Jour
ney bo to a nearby Island or to an
other zone, the return to the breed
ing ground Is only one phenomenon
In a physiological cycle of develop
incut which Includes, In regular order,
migration, courtship, egg-laying, incu
ballon, the care of the young, the molt
and the retreat to winter quarters.
Even in the tropics, birds as a rule,
do not nest until spring and carlj
summer; but the pelican woos Ills
mate In November and begins house
keeping In the first month of winter.
Unfortunately the Island Is so low
that a "norther" raises the water suf
ficiently to flood all but a sand bai
at Its eastern end. Only those ground
nesting birds which build upon the
sands, therefore are secure from the
waves. Consequently, If one should
visit Pelican Island In April after the
season of northers had passed end set
the close-set nests on tho sand bar,
with the rest of the Island unoccupied,
one might credit tho survivors with
ability intelligently to select a nest
ing site above the reach of tho wa
ters. Whereas, In truth, the earllei
homes of many of these same birds,
built on low grounds, has been lnun-
dated, and thnlr oirirs. -washed from
the nests, wore still scattered aboul
....
the Island. Apparently, then, there
is here no conscious selection evolved
by experience. Your after year birds
nest on the low ground and suffer the
consequences, while, by elimination,
the high-ground colony Is estab
lished through tho disaster which be
falls all those that do not resort to It.
The first of the three eggs to which
the pelican limit themselves Is laid
by December 1. One might Imagine
that even in Florida winter was a sin
gularly Inappropriate season for
hatching eggs; but pelicans are large-
bodied birds and husband, as well aa
wife, Is faithful to the duties of in
cubation, one going on the nest as the
other leaves It. Normally, therefore.
the eggs are never exposed, and aftei
about four weeks' sitting the llttlt
pelican announces Itself by a charac
teristic choking grunt, uttered even
before If leaves the shell.
It Is not an attractive creature at
birth, but In about eighteen days it 8
black, naked ugliness Is concealed be
neath a down so thick, soft and white
that It might grace a swan. Tin
young of tree-nesting pelicans do not
leave their nest until they make theli
first attempt at flight; but If the
young pelican chances to be born on
the ground, It will go swimming foi
the first time when about six weeks
old, and at the age of ten weeks 11
will have learned to use Its wings.
In March, If all goes well, the peli
cans may close tneir house lor tue
season, take their family and go trav
eling; but June 1 sometimes find blrda
still occupied with domestic affairs.
TIilu iivf mtuln.i fit illft linullnrr chiuiti
Is doubtless due In part to some Indi
vidual Irregularity In the time of lay
ing, but more largely to disaster ol
one kind or another whicli befall!
early effort at housekeeping.
High water, cold weather or expos
ure to the sun before they are clothed
are all factors in creating a high mor
tallty among young pelicans and few
indeed, are the parents which succeed
In raising a family of three.
Teeth Gave Way.
"Some women are the biggest fools
ami do the craziest tilings." It was
a West Side dentist who was talking
"The other day a fashionably dressed
young woman came to me In great dls
tress. I never saw a woman suffer
ing more. It was a sharp morning.
When I made an examination I found
the crown of one of her eye teeth en
tirely torn away. You could actually
see the pulp pulsating. There was
nothing to do but pull the tooth, whicli
I did at once, greatly to her relief
when she came out of the gas.
"Then she told me how she had done
It. It seems that one of the window
shades in her home, which was of the
spring variety, needed tightening. It
she had read Instructions on the roll
all would have gone well, but woman
fashion, she tried to use her teeth for
a wrench. When the spring was suf
ficiently tightened she let go her grip.
but unfortunately the ratchet did no
catch, and tho spring went off with tro
inendous force, tearing her tooth tc
pieces." Chicago Inter Ocean.
"Wanted to Get Even.
"I'd like that tooth, please," said the
small boy, after the dentist had ex
tracted the torment.
"Certainly, my little man, but whj
do you want it?" queried the dentist,
handing It over.
"Well, sir," responded the gratified
boy, "I'm going to take It home and
I'm going to stua' It full of sugar. Then
I'm going to put It on a plate and,"
with a triumphant grin, "watch it
ache." New York World.
Author Wiw HeiiMltlve.
"How much of my book have you
rend 7"
"Well, tho fact is, I've put it aside
for a rainy day."
"I suppose that's an insinuation thai
the story Is dry. Good clay, sir."
Clevelaud Plain Dealer.
Oo You Want to Know
What You Swallow ?
THmrn (a n trrrwvlmt QAtittmnnf In flila
country In favor of mijdicinks of known
comi'ohitio.n. ii is mu iuiuinu Willi OI10
should have some Interest In the compo
sition of that which ho or she is expected
to swallow, whether It bo food, drink or
medicine.
liocoirn z nir this crow ntr disposition
on the part of tho public, and satisfied
mat i no luiicst puoiiciiy can omy nun 10
tho well-earned reputation of his medi
cine, Dr. K. V. Pierce, of Buffalo. N. Y.,
has "takon time by tho forelock," as It
were, and Is nubllshlnir broadcast a list
of all tho ingredients entering Into his
loading medicines, mo "uoiuen iwocncai
Discovery" the popular liver Invlgorator,
stomach tonic, blood purifier and heart
regulator; also of his "Favorite Prescrip
tion" for weak, over -worked, broken
down, nervous and invalid womon.
I his bold and out-snokon movement on
the part of Dr. Pierce, has, by showing
exactly what his well-known medicines
arc composed of, completely disarmed all
harping critics who have heretofore un
justly attacked them. A little pamphlet
lias been compiled, from the standard
medical authorities of all the several
schools of practice, showing tho strongest
endorsements by leading medical writers
nf the several ingredients which enter Into
Dr. riorco's meuicinos. a copy oi tins
little iKJok Is mailed free to any ono de
siring to learn moro concerning the valu
able, native, medicinal plants wnicu enter
Into tho composition of Dr. Plerco's med
icines. Addross Dr. Pierce as above.
Dr. Plercu'a Pleasant Pollcts are tins, sus-
nr-conted antl-blltous iranulus. They rc
ulaus and lnvlsoroto stomacm Liver and
laxative and regulator, tnreo or rour ror an
active catlmrtlc Onco tried always in favor.
elytra rifrfini given away, in copies of
2ptjaj,lJLSU Th0 people's Common Sonso
Medical Advisor, a book mat soiu to mo ex
tent of GOO.ooo copies a few
years auo. at Jl.W) par copy.
Last vcar wo irave away
f.'Hl.UOO worth of those Invalua
ble Ikjoks. Turn year wo snail
(flvo away fSO.000 worth of
tnom. win you snaro in tins
benefit If so. MMid only 21
ono-cent stamps to cover cost
of mailing only for book lu
stiff paper covers, or III stamps
luri'lolli-uouna. Address Dr.
It. V. Pierce. Buffalo. N. Y.
If bureau darwers are hard to draw
tit, rub tho edges with soap.
In some parts of Spain silver money
JGO years old is still in circulation.
The finest and largest collections of
soins in the world is owned by the
ting of Italy. It is said to be worth
iver $000,000.
The national colors of the United
States were adopted by congress in
1777.
Mr. Foucalt, a French physician,
iays that in 11,048 deaths investigated
)y him 759 or 7 per cent resulted
,'roin cancer, Heredity plnyed pract-
Mcall' 110 Prt as a cause.
I il' ... 1 - 1 .
Several years ago Irving asked this
juestion: " What courage can witii
itand the ever-enduring and all
Desetting terrors of a woman's
ongtieV" It has never been answerd
DEATH SEEMED NEAR.
ilovr a CUIcnKO "Woman Found Help
When Hope Wax I-'nut Futlluic
Awny.
Mrs. 12. T. Gould, 914 West Lake
street. Chicago, 111., says: "Doan's
Kidney Pills are all that saved ine
from d e a t h by
Rrlght's Disease,
that I know. 1 had
eye trouble, back
ache, catches when
lying abed or when
bending over, was
languid and often
: dizzy and had slcli
h e a d a c h e s and
b e a r 1 n g d o w n
pains. The kidnej
secretions were toe
copious and frequent, and very bad ir.
appearance. It was In 1003 that Doan's
Kidney Pills helped me so quickly and
cured me of these troubles and I'v
been well ever since."
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
HE ATTENDS
who goes straight
I lis
hits As
Hurts, Sprains, Braises
by the use of
St. Jaco
and saves time, money and
It Acta Like Music.
PRICE,
25 Cts
TO CURE THE GRIP
im nut: rAv
in uuu iri
iWRIPINF
is
IT Sale Ten Million Boxes a YearTgsj
I febfc CANDY CATHARTIC tf? S
JEmiiSm. THE BOWELS 9
A TRULY IDEAL WIFE
HER HUSBAND'S BEST HELPER
Vlgorouu Hoalth Is tho Groat Source of
Powor to Insplro and Encourase
All Womon Should Boole It.
One of the most noted, successful and
richest men of this century, in a recent
article, has said, " Whatever I am and
whatever success I have attained in
this world I owe all to my wife. From
the day 1 first know her she has been
nn inspiration, and the greatest help
mate of my life."
To bo such a successful wife, to re
tain tho lovo and admiration of her
, zhiinwlr? him ,to maUe th.
,U1" nimnun, auum ua u umuus
constant study.
If a woman finds that her energies
are flagging, that she gets easily tired,
dark shadows appear under her eyes,
she has backache, headaches, bearintr-
j down pains, nervousness, irregularities
or the blues, she should start at once
to build up her system by a tonic with
speeillc powers, sucli as-Liyma is. L'lnk
ham's Vegetable Compound.
Following wc publish by request a
letter from a young wife :
Dear Mrs. Pinkfiam:
" Ever sinco my child wns born I have suf
fered, rul hopafew women ever have.with in
flammation, femalo weakness, bearing-down,
pains, baskacho and wrotchod hendnchos. It
affected my stomach so I could not en joy my
meals, and half my titno was spent in bed.
" fiydla 12. PJnklinm'd Vegetable Compound
made mo a well woman, and I feel so grateful
that I am glad to write and tell you of my
marvelous rorovcry. It brought me henlth,
new life and vitality." Mrs. Bessie Ainsley,
011 South 10th Street. Tacoma, Wash.
What Lydiu E. Pinlcham's Vegetable
Compound did for Mrs. Ainsley it will
do for every sick and ailing woman.
If you have symptoms you don't un
derstand write to Mrs. Pinkham,
daughter-in-law of Lydia B Pinkham,
at Lynn, Mass, Ucr advice is free and
always helpful.
It is said that there is no marrying
and giving in ninrriago in heaven.
This perhaps proves the old assertion
that fools rush in where angels fear
to tread.
When a man is in love he thinks
it i the most beautiful thing in the
world; when lie's out of it he thinks
tho opposite, with- an exclamation
point.
-Measure 200 feet on each side and
I you will have a square acre within
an inch.
Deafness Cannot be Cured
by Ioc-hI applications, as they cannot reuca
tlio diseased portion of the ear. There In
only one way to cure deafness, and tlint is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness 3
caused by an liillamed condition nf the mu
cous lining of the Kustai-hlun Tube. Whcii
this tube Is Inflamed yuu have a rumbling
sound or Impei-feet hearing, mid wlit-u It la
entirely closed. Deafness Is tho result, and
unless the lulUmuiHtlou cnu be taken our
and this tube restoieil to ItH normal condi
tion, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten nre caused bv Ca
tarrh, which Is nothing but nn lutluiued con
dition of the mucous srifnet's.
We will give Ono Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness (caused by cnlnrrh)
that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars, free.
V. J. CHKNKY & CO., Toledo, O.
Hold by DruirclstH. 7."e.
Take llnll's Family Pills f-r coiistlnatloa
The first sewing machine, was pat
ented by Elias Howe, Jr., in 18-1(3.
TO BUSINESS
to vork to cure ;
?
:
:
:
:
:
gets out of misery quickly.
Price, 25c. unci GOc.
if I r
bs Oil
IS GUARANTEED TO CURE
GRIP, BAD GOLD, HEADACHE AND N2URALG!.
I won't toll Anll-Grlplnc to a dealer -who won't Oaarantrn It.
Call for your MONEY JtAOIC IF IT VOK3Iir CUICJ2,
JP. IF. Mettier, M.J)., ttcactootursr, Sjprificld, jto
4
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