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About The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 1, 1905)
Nemaha Advertiser W. W. SANDERS, PUBLISH Nemaha, Nebraska Liizy men uro always harping on the luck of foolB. It Is dUllcult for oven very good men to H.'e their duty until the Hillary Is named. Tho Chines'! boycott appears to be n pretty good foil for tho American's big stick. Many a man who never boat a street oar company out of a nickel -wouldn't hesitate to rob a bank. Norway's way Is no quicker than Kcrvla's, but there was no bloody mess to clean up when the storthing got through. There arc policy-holders who are tin- generous enough to hope that Jlmmlo Hyde may bo compelled to wear strip ed knickerbockers. "There are many American Jokes at which Englishmen do not laugh," nays Katie Harry. (Jive them time, Katie; give thorn time. Tho FIJI king who called an auto mobile "tho father of all devils" must have been much more than a genera tion removed from benighted savagery. It Is said that graft Is a new word, but It has been used about as much us some older ones during Its brief life. A 1'hlladolphla man made $1,000,000 through forgery, but died and had a line funeral before anybody found It out. A strenuous young man who declares his willingness to shod his last drop of blood for a girl Is never In a hurry to (died Uio. first drop. A Now York preacher has resigned his pulpit to enter tho life Insurance business. Well, It appears that there Is plenty of room for good men In tho lino that ho has Just, taken up. "No foreign power woidd ever think of attempting an Invasion of tho Unit ed States," says .lust Ice Brewer.' If this be Jingoism, let tho world's effete monarchies make the most of It. King Alfonso of Spain Is said to look upon Emperor William as a model monarch, and he Is anxious to pat tern after the (Jorman rulor. Alfy must like to rise early and stay up late. It has been legally decided In En; hind that a man who works for his living is not a gentleman. This is rather rough, but let us give tho Eng lish court credit for one thing. It didn't decide that men who toll are gents. A new York banker, writing to one of tho magazines, says business In Wall street 1ms been almost killed by tho "Frenzied Finance" articles and the lnsuraivoo scandals. Evidently tho lambs have learned what tho cry of "wolf" means. Gossip is u humming bird with eagle wings and a voice like a foghorn. It can bo heard from Dan to Beersholia and has caused more trouble than all tho bedbugs, ticks, liens, mosquitoes royotes, grasshoppers, chinch bugs, rat tlesnakes, sharks, pore toes, cyclones, earthquakes, blizzards, smallpox, yel low fever, gout and Indigestion that this great United States have known or will know when the universe shuts up shop and begins the final invoice. In other words, It has got war and boll both backed up In the corner yell ing for Ice water. A city girl writes: "It Is a fond dream of mine to become a farmer's wlfo und meander with him down life's pathway." Ah, yes, that Is a nice thing, but when your husband meanders off and leaves you without vood and you have to meander up and down the lane pulling splinters off tho fence to cook dinner, and when you meander along In the -wot grass ln loarch of tho cows till your shoes aro ttio color of rawhldo and your stock ings soaked, and when you meander iut across the twenty acres of plowed ground with a club to drive tho hogs DHL Ol lliu cuiiiuuiu mill luui juiu dross on the barb'Wlre fence, when ,you meander back home to tho house, find that tho billy goat has butted the etuflln' out of your child and find tho Did hen with forty chickens In tho .parlor, you'll put your hands on your hips and realize that meandering Is One of tho accusations made In tho Prick report against the Aioxauuer- Eiyde management or tue wquuauie Assurance Socloty was that these or- Beers, in disregard of sound business .principled, wanted to make tllo society wblg." They were moved by the char- acterlstle Amcrlcon ambition tho nm bltlon for bigness. A small society ably managed, profitable, Hound niK strong, waH not HUlIlclent for tlu-si olllcors. They wanted to have tin "biggest" liiHuranee Hoclety In tin country. It wiih not worth, but bullc that appealed to them. How typical' Amorlcan HiIk Is. Hvldonecs of thh Hplrlt are soon on every hand. Al clossos of people are affected with It Every community has Its houses th.i are big and cheap. Every city and town has Its display of wealth that Is based upon size and show, and no! upon taste. Everywhere men boast ol tho amount they accomplish without regard to tho manner In which thej do It. The fanner brags of tho num ber of acres ho plows, even though h may lose much because of tho faultj manner In which his work Is dono 'Ph.. lniuliwiuu tmiii iiiiiflu nlmanlf lltinr. . (; UlinillVlD .I.I... ...1...,. .........wa tho fortune he has plied up, even though scores and hundreds of Inno' cent men and women have suiV'erei through his acts. Universities grou jubilant over being "bigger" than tin colleges, oven though their work innj not bo any better or even so good. I Is tho ambition for bigness that con stltutes tho ruling motive. As a peo ple wo are seemingly still In the child hood stage wMicu quantity Is more at tractive than quality. Wo have no! yet learned that bigness Is not groat ness. Wo have not yet learned thai true worth Is not to be measured In terms of square foot or of dollars and cents. John D. Itookefoller has been havlnp an extraordinary attack of phllan thropy. It was announced recently that tho University of Chicago has given ?100,000 to tho American Acad emy of FIno Arts at Home. It Is un derstood that the money came from .Mr. Rockefeller. It was announced a few days later that he had given $1, 000.000 to Yale. Afterward It was made known, at a meetinir of the ecu epn, 0(lm..,tIoll ,J0iml ln Nmv York, that It had received from Mm 5 10,000,000, which Is to be an endowment for high or education In the United States. Mr. Rockefeller's total benefactions, las year were but $1,4151,000. Perhaps the recent outcry against "tainted money' has helped loosen tho oil king's purse strings. It has enlightened him as to what the country's people think of him. lie has not been noted for Ms sensitiveness, but the most callous do not enjoy being universally denounced and detested. He may think that by parting from a few of his many mil Hons he will show that ho Is not 'money mad." Whatever effect It may have had on Mr. Rockefeller, the outcry against "tainted money" evl dently has not made much' of an im presslon on universities and other In stltutlons needing money. They ac cent his cash with alacrity. Arid that Is the sensible thing to do. Accept a nee of Mr. Rockefeller's or any other man's money does not Imply Indorse ment of the methods by which It was made. If money 1h "tainted" the wny to remove tho taint Is to put It to work where It will do good. Tho American people do not like. Mr. Rockefeller' high finance system. They would glad ly see him give less away If ho would change his methods and return some of his Ill-gotten wealth to the persons from whom ho extorted it. But, helng a commonsenso people, they can't see that because a fortune was ill got, It necessarily follows that none of It may ever bo devoted to a good purpose. 'They do not bollevo American yount; men and women will learn less Greek or mathematics at Yale or paint worse pictures at Rome because Mr. Rocke feller's money helps pay tho bills. Friuul ofljil'o Companies. A fraud scheme at tho expense of life Insurance companies was carried out three times successfully as long ago as 17J10. A young woman with an extraordinary power of simulating death had for a confederate on elderly man, who passed for her uncle. Twice In different parts of England sho in sured her life in her. uncle's favor, wont into convulsions and to all Ap pearances died. Tho third time tho game was played with an ingenious variation. Tho uncle went to a Hfo In surnnco company, explained that ho was In tlnanclal straits and wished to borrow money on his nloco's estate. To compensate for such a loan ho would have to Insure hor Hfo for Its value, but could not afford to have this Insurance become known, as It would expose his financial condition and ruin his credit. Tho company, therefore, ngreed to write tho lusur ftco un(oi. u boml of 80Crocy As U8. mil, the young -woman went Into con vulslons and died. Boforo hor fun- oral sho lay In stafo for all tho world to see. Her undo was prostrated. IIo did not try to collect tho Insur aneo for some months and when he did , t.om,inuy pald hIm , fU, wlth QX. 1 . Rvmnftthv. So dl(1 nine other companies, which ho had silenced bv tho same ruso. and ho i0iIlc.i h,B nloCo ou tho c(mtlneut with H vury ml)ros8lve fortune, Wo have been guilty of a good many weaknesses, but no man ever saw ua carrying a bag of golf sticks rhlla traveling, Potato Hon p. A very lino potato soup Is made bj adding a quart of scalded milk, ii which several slices of onion havi boon steeped, to two cupfuls o! mashed potato. Soften, not molt, t argo tablospoonful of butter, and mlj with It an equal quantity of flour. AiU salt, pepper, and a dush of celery salt and pour gradually, stirring all tin time, Into tho milk and potato mix ture. Sprinkle u little finely mixed parsley on top, Servo with buttorc crutons. Crcinn KHIImk. Heat a cup of milk and stir Into I three tublespoonfuls of Hour rubbo smooth In a little cold water. Bol stirring, for a minute, beating out al lumps. Take from tho lire and pout upon four eggs beaten light with I half cup of powdered sugar. Stir ovo the lire to a thick, smooth cream; tab from the fire, Havor with vanilla and when cold, 1111 tho puffs. Lesson for Women. Jersey Shore. Pa., Aug. 2S. (Spe cial.) "Dodd's Kidney Pills have dom worlds of good for me." That's wluu Mr.s. C. It. Earnest of this place has t say of tho Great American Kldne; Reined'. "I was laid up sick," Mrs. Earned continues, "and had not been out o. bed for live weeks. Then 1 began U use inula s Kidney rills anu now i an so I can work and go to town wlthou suffering any. I would not be wlthou Dodd's Kidney Pills. I have good rea son to praise thorn everywhere." Women who suffer should learn i lesson from this, and that lesson h "cure the kidneys with Dodd's Kldne; Pills and your suffering will cease. Woman's health depends almost en tiro ly on her kidneys. Dodd's Kldne: Pills have never yet failed to main healthy kidneys. As a means of regulating the spret or automobiles on the highways the device bus been adopted In Massachu setts of making ridges in ths road al short intervals. In a Pinch, Use Allcn'n Foot-Kane. A powder to shake Into your shoes. It rest! the feet, CureH Corns, Uiinloiis, Swollen, Sore, Hot, Callous, AehlnR, Sweating feet anil IiiKrowlnn Nnlls. Allen's Koot-Eas tnnkes new or tight shoes easy. Sold by nil Drusidsts and Shoo Stores, '.'.c. Sample mailed VKKK. Address Allen S. Olmsted, I.e Koy, N. Y. Mrs. Mary Ramsay Wood, of Port land, Ore., is 118 years eld. She wag born In Knoxvillo, Tenn., born in May 20, 1787. Her motnor lived to bo 102 year9 of ace, Two bottles of Piso's Cure for Con Buinptlon enretl me of a terrible cough.--Fred Hermann, 209 Box avenue, Buffalo, N. Y., Sept. 24, 1901. What do you think of a man selling his wifo for a bottle of beer at auction, and actually endeavored t turn her over to the purchaser? Well, it happnnd in Colorado and they had been married just three nooks, consequently a case for a divorce. Mrs WInilow'i HOOT111NQ SYRUP for ohU- Ireu teething, softam the gnui, reduces IntU natlou. allays pain, cure ohollo. Price Zio. A horso in good condition can exist iboub twonby-ttve days without, food, su lon as he has plenty of water. II id has food without, water, five days would probably end his exlstance. FKKB U1IK TO Orettr Co., Oklahoma. Oieat Krai raln.MnUo, cotton country. Improved quailcm IV0I p. Wrlto V. I.owls, Oinnltt), Oklahoma, Now Hampshire has an egg farm that is about tho biggest thing In tho line yoc heard of. This farm contains eight hundred acres, and s'x hundred houses, accommodating eight thousand and four hundred bens. Gathering eggs daily on thh farm aiust be n little matter liltq picking up sixty or eighty busheli of eggs a day. "I linil IiiflitiuiMury ItlimuiiittlKiit, liut ) m well now, tlianki to Dr. David Kennedy's Kavoi Rpinody. It' my best friend." Oarret Lanslnsr, Troj tf. Y In a moment of exoltemont Loma kin, i Moscow merchant, undertook to "eat his boot,", if Japan were nol forced to sue for peace by J uly 1 last Apalust this his opponent bet EOi rubles. Lomakln ato tho hoots. Bui as no timo limit was imposed ho cut off and swallowed only a tiny strip sach day, completing the achieve ment on November 20. His oppon ent pbsolved him from eating thi nails. BABY CAME NEAR DYING From an Awful Skin Humour Scratched Till Blood Han-Wasted to u Skeleton Speedily Cured by Cutl curu. "When three months old ray boy broke out with an Itching, watery rash all over his body, and he would scratch till the blood ran. Wo tried nearly everything, but ho grew Worse, wast ing to a skeleton, and we feared ha would die. Ho slept only when ln our arms. Tho flrst application of Cutlcura soothed him so that he slept In hit cradle for the flrst time ln many weeka You don't know how glad I was. Oni set of the Cutlcura Remedies made a complete and permanent cure. (Signed) Mrj m q Matiand. Janer, Ontario Chnncil Ills Mind. "Tlmmlns, I'm going to have to re duce your salary till business gets a little better." "Well, I see I'll have to smoke cheaper cigars." "Cheaper than those you use now?" "Yes, u blamed sight cheaper." "Well or say, I guess I'll econ omize some other way." Cleveland Loader. Knew Her. "I can't decide," she said, "whether to take the hat or not. But It Is Just tho dearest thing I have seen this sea son." "Tho dearest';" asked tho husband, with a sardonic laugh. "Then It's a cluch that you'll take It." Omaha Bee. ZZ ItubhiiiK It In. "George, dear," said tho bride of six months, "the minister told me to-day that you gave him a $20 gold piece for marrying us." "Well," replied George,"! don't mind his having bunkoed me out of tho money, but be might bo considerate enough to refrain from boasting of It." DOMESTIC HINTS To bo run up when hubby unexpectedly brings homo n friend for dinner and there isn't a thing ln the house. Chicago News. Kxtcmlinn His Credit. "Borroughs has tho happy faculty of making new friends wherever he goes." "Ho hns to. He owes all the old ones." Philadelphia Press. Caught on the Kcbouitd. Said He My dear Tossle, you look good enough to cat. Said She Thanks; I am a trifle hun gry. Suppose wo try that restaurant Just across the streot. Cincinnati En quirer. Not the Same. "Sho introduced him as her cousin once removed, didn't sho?" "Oh, no as her husband once re moved." July Smart set. A. Foxy Move. After tho wedding breakfast had' been eaten and tho guests had depart od, tho bride's father sought thi groom. "You know that $10,000 choc! thnt I placed among tho presents quoth he. ' "Yes, sir." "Well, Ave'll Just tear that up." "I'm sorry, sir," replied tho groon cheerfully, "but I stepped around ti tho bank a few moments ngo and hai It cashed." Louisville Courler-.Tour nal. Still Another ltcnsou. Mr. Crhnsonbeak There's anothol reason for calling a ship "she." Mrs. Crhnsonbeak What is It? "Because ships arc so often spoken.' Yonkers Statesmnn. Only o Surfiicc Judication. The policeman was loading a mon or less innocent bystander, whose feo appeared to be badly tangled, awn from tho scene of the disturbance; "What has knocked his hat all out of shape?" asked somebody. "Has hi been lift with a brick?" "Now," exclaimed the policeman "There's a brick Inside his hat. That', all." Chicago Tribune. A Fortunate Interruption. "I had an awful scare yesterday." "How was that?" "Why, I got foolish and proposed tc that pretty Miss Penniless." "Did she accept you?" "Why, a suburban car with a fia! wheel passed Just at that moment uu I don't think she heard me." Clovo land Plain Dealer. In Society. He Mrs. Blank Is what I call t human planet. She What do you mean by that? He She shines by rellected light. She What of? He Her diamonds. Detroit Fro Press. THE HURRY SIGNAL. Maiiiina'8 Monopoly. "Say, paw," queried little .Tohnnj Pock, "why do you wear whiskers Haven't you any chinV" "I guess not, my son," replied Peck, Sr. "Your mother seems to have 11 all." Chicago News. Xinclc of Perception. "Dot dog o' mine," said Mr. Erastua Plnkley, "keeps on a tryln' to whup ov'r'y four-footed critter dat comes down do road." "Ho must bo a fighter." "No, suh. IIo ain't no fighter. But ho don seem able to reco'nize do fnck." Washington Stnr. Kulr Warn In if. "Is Mrs. Gabble at homo? asked tho caller. "Bo good luck, ma'am, she's not," replied the wise servant girl, "but yo'd best l'avo yer card an' skeedaddle out o' bore, ma'am, fur she's like ter b back most anny minute now." Phila delphia Tress. lloneatly Acquired. Gyer There goes a man who has a fortune of nearly half a million and It's mostly hush money. Myer What! Do you mean to say that ho Is a professional blackmailer? Gyer Oh, no; he manufactures a popular brand of soothing simp. At the riay. "She handles the part exceptlonallj well. That outburst of Jealousy in tin flrst act was one of the best things 1 over saw." "No wondor. Her understudy toolj the purt tho night before and made i decided hit." Detroit Tribune- f