Nemaha Advertiser
W. W. SANDERS, PutusHcn
Nemaha,
Nebraska
Another Ainorteau girl has round a
foreign nobleman who Isn't one
Life In an automobile Is the pare
lion klllti, only It; Is other people
Man Is imiri! of dustolhorwise
woman would not havu much uo for
him.
'Phis needless njjIo craze In not new
nt nil. The. llrsl one grew In Adam
Lhroat.
-.cur rzzKV-Trsza
Perhaps u few rich ,mcn may bo able
l.o gel Into heaven, .by (mowing thejv
tax receipts.
Poor Jtojostvonsky lias not even the
notieolatlon of knowing that ho put up
great light.
"Always associate with your rape
rlors," Hays President I3llot of Hat
rnr1. What If we have none?
: Fortune Is evidently blind If we may
Judge by the way hIio passes us by
and bestows her favors upon others.
Notwithstanding the activity of cer
tain western statesmen there l.s stl'l
a considerable area of unstolen land.
lViaee bath her victories no less re
nowned than var, but you'll Unit them
chronicled In the back pages these
flays.
Kdward rather rubbed It: in when ho
look Alfonso to Portsmouth and mado
him rovlow England's Invincible ar
madu. There are a lot of things that a man
would not want half no uiuch If he
thought there was any chance of get
ting them.
Tlbplans, who never give their teeth
Hiiy attonttoa whatever, are wild to
have the beat teeth in the world. What
Is tho answer?
A woman after standing up at tho
uluir and promising to obey gives her
iausbitnd tho laugh when ho later jn
nlniuttcs that: he ought to make good.
A new play entitled "Itaco Suicide;
or, The President's Mistake," has been
brought out. It is alleged to bo a com
edy, but we reserve the right to enter
tnlii doubts.
I'oet Laureate Austin declares that
there havo been n great women poets.
Mils opens tho way for the retort that
there has been no great poet laureate
nlnco Tennyson.
Tom Lawsou nays he is ?1,MH),000
poorer than ho was n year ago. Wo
can not understand this, unless he has
been following his own advice In play
ing 1ho stock market game.
One preacher says the devil Hud
Rome promising material in church
choirs. ' Where he has the advantage!
in his chosen work is that, he can stand
uny tmfl all kinds of music.
Home one has said that Kansas has
had more than her share of advertis
ing out of that $100,000 appropriation
for it state oil retlnery. Not the kind
that Mr. Itoekofellcr likes, however.
Bridal parties of the future may not
nop Niagara Falls In Us present beau
ty, but they need not be, unhappy. An
tixplorer of Argentina says that tho
falls of the Ignassu, about a thousand
miles north of Huonos Ayres, are larg
er than Niagara or tho Victoria Falls
of I hi? 'Zambezi. Whether or not the
Btutemeut is exaggerated, there Is evi
dently a new, delightful excursion for
tho newly married.
The late Huron Alphonso do Itoths
child held this opinion concerning
wealth: "There Is much loose talk
noVnduys about the danger of so
much capital In the hands of a few
men. This is all rubbish, Some men
urn richer; others are poorer. To-morrow
this Is all changed by vicissitudes
which nobody can control." The Roths
childs appear to be able to control
theirs with a good deal of success in
splto of the coming and going vlelssl-.
tudes.
Tho wrath and Indignation with
which certain English collectors of art
objects speak of "'vulgar American
millionaires" are hardly Justified. In
fhe matter of art purchases the Ameri
can millionaire Is certainly relieved of
the elntme of vulgarity by the fact
that ho buys tho very things that the
JOnglish cognoscenti most ardently
covet for themselves. Of course, the
Micro possession of much money, may
eonntltulc a vulgarity, but even the
'British critics would probably be win
lug to assume the stigma along with
th money up to a certain point, of
eourse,
Forty years ago young woman
turnout mouk1 black erlilr for drcs
In a store In Worcester, Maes. A few,
days ago she went back to the Ktore toj
match It, as she wished to make new',
sleeves for the waist. Hho had worn!
Mtc dress for best all these years, and
It was still loo good to throw away.
Or courec It had been made over once
or several times, but for all that It was
the saiuo dress. And would you be
lleve it?-they could not match the
silk, not even when the clerk who sold
II, now grown to be the proprietor, was
called on to assist. There are oovoral
conclusions to bo drawn from the In
cident, but perhaps the most pertinent.
Is that tho reputation of New England
for thrift rests on a solid foundation.
Had Adam known that his rib was
to be taken and turned into a woman,
would he havo consented? It is n ques
tion raised by a woman at a Cleveland
inissionery society meeting and left
open to conflicting opinion. The wom
an of to-day, like random of old, Is
bound to pry into things and turn loose
upon the world a lot of troubles. That
stolen rib of Adam's was supposed to
be a closed Incident. The lorrowod
member was long since restored to
man. For counticss generations he
has had the rib as well as the woman
close to bin heart. Man wasn't worry
ing over tho rib affair at all. He had
all but forgotten It. Hut woman,
womanlike, must, of course, prod him
out of his complacent forget fulness
and demand that he tell her whether
or not he is sorry that she Is In ex
istence. To bo sure, she has confi
dence hi his gallantry and expects a
complimentary reply. The modern
Kvo would havo the modern Adam He.
If necessary, to gratify her vanity.
Which goes to show that wotimu
hasn't changed anuch. Adam has left
no evidence of his feeling on tho sub
ject, and we can only guess at tills
late lato whether he would willingly
have exchanged a rib for ti woman or
not. You may guess either way and
l'cel conlldent that your position cannot
lie disproved. But this much may be
wild with certainly. Adam would have
been at a disadvantage. Ho would
have been trading In the dark. It
would havo been impossible for him to
comprehend in advance what a woman
would bo like. Indeed, eve.fi to-day,
man can't make her out, and doesn't
unanimously know whether she Is a
good thing or not. So Adam might
very reasonably have balked at giving
lip one of his royal good, sound rllis,
that he could not very well spare, for
a "pig In a poke" that might prove an
Intolerable nuisance to him. Hut, af
ter all, tho protltable and vital question
at this late time is not as to what
Adam In his Ignorance might havo
done had choice boon his, but what
the man of to-day is willing to give
up in exchange for woman and tho
fullness of her blessings. To-day. as
In Adam's time, man must sacrifice in
order to be worthy of and to win tho
rich treasures of womanhood. Man
to-day. as always, must supply the ma
teria! io make the woman who Is real
ly his own. She Is more exacting now
tlutn she was. S.ii? requires more than
a rib. it may be a temper he must
curb, a disposition he must train, hab
its he must conquer, appetites he must
restrain, pet vices he must: give up,
to cultivate the love and faith and
trust and sympathy that make a wom
an truly his.
A UNIQUC LOG PALACE.
The forestry building at. the Lewis
and (Mark F.xposltlou at Portland, Ore
gon, Is an excellent exhibit of one of
the main resources 'of the country
which the fair Is designed io exploit.
i vniuou or tiii: cm m r.
The building Is a log palace. It is ".on
feet long by JOS feet wide. Two miles
of H-foot and (5-foot flr logs, eight miles
of poles, and several tons of shakes
and cedar shingles wero used In Its
construction. One of. the monster logs
weighed .'t'J tons, and another contains
enough lumber to build an ordinary
cottage -10 feet hy -10 fool with a fence
and board walks leading up to it.
There would still be enough wood left
to kindle the lire In the grate for
mouths.
Chatting; in Street Car.
Miss Anteek (In open trolley carp
Are you going to stop smoking? You
must see how it annoys me
.Mr. Weed Hut, madam, thsi seats
are reserved for smokers.
Miss Anteek (scornfully) -You're a
gentleman, I must say.
Mr. Weed---And you, madam, are
not, 1 regret to say. Philadelphia
Press.
To the children: 12at your rlco with
out complaint, little dears. Thar' what
math Togo irreat man.
Some ono has estimated that John
D. Kockofellcr's wealth In sliver
dollars would welch as much ns tw.
first class battleships; In 31 bills !
wmldrnakc a double girdle aroutu
the earth and IcaTe a remnant 1 f00
miles lootr.
It Isn't spectacular achloveirmi
that tell; the work of the world
(him by totUomo plodding. GY
fuses, In the ordinary accepted sensi
f tho t.rm, are so rare that It U
safe tD eliminate them os factors In
human process; the men that do
thltiKS arc t.hoso that have a genius
for work. "Success Magazine. "
, S oti nil an a Dollar.
Moiilioollo, Minn.. Aug. 7. -Mr. .7.
W. Moore of this place stands as a liv
ing proof of the fact flint I 'right's Dis
ease, oven In the last stage, may be
perfectly and piriimneutly cured by
Dodd's Kidney PIP.
Mr. Moore ways. "In ltf!)i, three rep
utable physIelniiK sifter a careful ex
amination told me thai I would die
with Bright" Disease Inside of si year.
My feet and ankles and legs were bod
ly swollen; I could hardly stand on my
feet and had given up nil hopes of
getting cured, when a traveling sales
man told nti. that he himself had been
cured of Hrlght's Disease two years
llftfore.
.'fte xatd he hul taken to his bed
and expected to die with it, but that
he bad been cured by a remedy called
Dodd'.s Kidney Pills.
"I commenced taking them at once
and 1 am thankful to say that they
saved my life. After a abort treat
ment I was completely restored to good
Vioalth and I sun now as sound as a
foliar."
CUTICURA OINTMENT.
Hie World1 Greatest. 8kin Cure ami
Sweetest Kuiollieiit -1'onltiYcly TJn
rivnlcd. Outlcura Ointment Is beyond ques
;lou tho most successful curative for
Kirfurlng, disfiguring humors of the
iklu and scalp, Including loss of hair,
wcr i-ompnuudod, tri proof of which a
tingle anointing with it, preceded by
i hot bath with Pullcura Soap, and
followed In the severer cases by a
lose of Outlcura Ito-solvent I'lll, is
ften sulllclent to afford Immediate re
lief in the most distressing forms of
Itching, burning and scaly humors,
permit rest and sleep, and point to si
ipetnly cure when all else falls'. It is
?spoelall. so In the treatment of In
fants and children, speedily soothing
mil healing the inosst distressing cases.
Gupla has been on earth a lorg
ilme but he never seems to wow
my olderor wiser.
.In a Pinch. Viae Allen' Fot-liatic.
A iKMvilnr to sUnV lutu jour show. It rusts
the fppt, Cured Corns, Bunions, Swollen,
Sore, Hot, CaUona, Aching. Sweating feet
unci Ingrowing Nntla. Allen's liVwu Hase
msil(e new or tight shoes easy. Sold by
all OnijclstR atid Shoe Stores. 'Sir. .S.nnplu
mailed FltEK. Address Allen S. Olumcd,
L Itoy, N. Y.
Riches are not cr.scotlal to liap
plncss but poverty-stricken lovo is
aiighty unsatisfactory.
ftlr. ,1. II. iill'h, lvTti. I'a , SulTiiroii
ftiK wMIi kldnry (.ml rraffl Trouble. unil by W
Kti JvV K'ir.,rtln V.( njfilr. ISori'Init, N V tl
The woman who thoroughly undoi
stands men is u isc cooiigh to pretext
that she doesn't.
The average man'jjrstfs hair almosl
lifty feet lung, nails twcnty-llUfC
f. et long and beard twenty-live feot
out; every scvonty years.
President Uoosevelt was the second
anut elected to the. highest oillce
within tho gift of the nation whtlr j
wenrlng a moustache. The first was
Grover Cleveland.
The eas5 coast or Tlonieo is the
worst Insect Infested nelnhborlwod
In Ll to worH. At ccrctin soasoriti ol
Ghc rear ilu streams of that region
are umta viable oecausc of the
clouds ct Insects which fill the air
and make i fe unbearable.
GABY'S INSTINCT
Show He Kiu-w Whui l'ouit to Stick To.
Po'Mv.irdhig a photo of a splendidly
hamlso'iie and healthy young hoy, a
happy u.tjhor writes from an Ohio
tow ii :
The '-mdnsml picture shows my 1
, ear-old Gnipc-.Viit.s boy.
Si;r' he was 'J years old he has
eaten !, .'litng but Grape-Nuts, lie de
ma mN aid -ts tills rood three limes
a ilnj. T!ti inny eooui rather unusual,
but in- s. tjtt care for anything els
at tor In h:-,, oatei. his Grape Nuts,
whli-li In- with milk or ereuui, and
then in- u through with his meal. Kven
on I'h.inksjjlvlng Day he refused tur
key and all the good things that make
up that ureal dinner, and ate his dish
of Grape-Nuts and crenm with the best
results and none of tho ovlls thai tho
other foolish members of the family
experienced.
"lie s nerer sick, has a beautiful
complfixlou, and Is considered a very
handsome boy. May the Postuni Com
pany prosper and long continue to fur
nish their wholesome food!" Name
given by Postuoi Co., Wattle Greet,
Mich.
There'; it roasan. Hwtd the Httlo
hook, ,kThft' cd to WeHvJlhf," In or
cry j try
Hard to lMcanc.
Out. at the end of tho pier the flsh
wero biting freely, nnd the boy with
the sunburnt nose had Just! added an
other O-lnch "ring perch" to his string.
"1 see you are having 11 m sport this
morning, my lad," ssild the stranger.
"Sport!" contemptuously echoed the
boy. "It keeps me so blamed busy
baltln' hooks an stringln' ilnh that I
ain't bavin' a bit of fun!"
Alt KlKlir:
Ah, Mrs. JJivvorse, you look sweet
enough to eat this morning."
"To cut? 1? Why, Mr. Glddles, i
thought you were a vegetarian."
"So I am. Hut. you are a grass
widow, you know."
Influenced by the Picture.
Hncon And who buys his cigars for
him 7
IOgbert ills wife.
"Does she buy them by the box?"
"So, by the picture on tho 'box, I
think." Yonkers Stntesiilan.
Not Unite Plain.
Kind Lady Poor man! Wouldn't
you like si nice chop?
The Hobo (suspiciously) What kind
uv a chop, lady lamb or woodshed?
A TIP FOl
i 1 1 '4 "
"Yes, Willie," said the jin'able uncle, "the rainbow means that there will
not be any more rain."
"Is that true?" asked Willie. "I must run home and tell papa. 1 heaiM
him say ho Intended to invest 'in an umbrella factory." Omaha Bee.
Swift.
"lie's traveling at a pretty rapid
gait, isn't he?"
"Uapld well, 1 should think so.
tie's going at a twelve horse power
gait on a two horse power Income."
Milwaukee Sentinel. ,
Hnlnuceil l-Jinot ion.
"I don't see vh, jou look so dis
pensed with this new bonnet," .said
lie fond wife. "You look as cross as
drs. Humpln did when she learned
,1m t she could nor get It. at the store
Decause I had gotten abend' of her."
"And you," said the brutal husband,
'you look as happy as Mr. riumpln
mist feel when he learns he doesn't
lave to pay for the thing after all."
Chicago Tribune.
Boiiiowhut Different,
Gray Your wife used to be rather
tensive before your marriage. Is stie
tOll so?
y Smith Oh, no; ."he's es peris've.
yoitiau' Compliment.
"I must compliment you on the V5
markablo lightness of your brcadJ
said the woman customer.
"Thank you," rejoined tho bnken
"It is my" aim to turn out tho lightest!
bread in the city."
"Yes," continued the w. p., "and if
you get It much lighter It will tnl:i
two of your )ound loaves to welgi
sixteen ounces." '
Natural Deduction.
( I ruff Patient Are you quite sun
you understand your business, lr?
Physician Well, I've been practii?
Ing medicine for fifteen years and noj
one of my patients has ever cotn
plained.
Gruff Patient -Huh! Probably not
Dead men tell no tales.
ProcrcuHive.
.lack How are you getting on wi(!l
Miss Huggins, old man?
Tom Slow but sure. I began ul: tin
front gate and have now reached tlu
veranda. If nothing happens 1 hopf
to get into tue parlor fills fall.
.Io Ail v;in eo of Adviec.
Physician I'd advise you to drink n
cup of hot water with every meal.
Patient I do, but my landlady calli"
It coffee.
Point of View.
Ilammerton I'm sorry to hear of
your financial embarrassment, oW
chap. Will you be able to save any
thing from tho wreck?
Lamblelgh Nothing but my selft
respect, and good name.
Ilammerton You don't say! I heard
it was a bad failure, but I had no idea
It was :i complete smash-up.
Not Quite Clear.
Green .Tones was run over by n
trolley car yesterday. They say h
cannot recover.
Hrown Who said he couldn't r
cover, his doctor or his lawyer?
FATHER.
Wliere Tie8 the KhhI.
"Yes, I've just returned from a two
months' Visit In the East," the Port,
laud young lady was saying, "and, oh
I had such si lovely time! Those East
erners are so different from u.i
'though."
"What points did you visit?" in
quired the newcomer in Oregon. "J
do hope you saw dear old Hoston."
"liostou!" the Portland ylrl ejacu
lated. - "I should say not. I was In
Montana." Portland Oregouian.
Tet-rilie Jolt.
SaplelghDo you aw -think
would be wromr for me to rnnt-i-v
It
girl who was my inferior hitolloelu
ally?
Miss Gutting No. but I thhil.
would be Impossible.
it
Proof Positive.
Tom My fiancee was struck dumb
when 1 bought her that diamond,
studded locket.
Jack How do you know?
Tom Hecause she hasn't stopped
talking about it yet.
Divided Atleniaiu-e.
"What broke off the cngagemeui be
tween Archie and the girl with the sin
burn hair?"
"Jealousy."
"On whose part.?"
"Hers. She ssild he was too fond of
Ids new automobile."- 'hleago Trib
une. Karl.v in the dune.
The honeymoon was just two woeki
old.
"John, desuV .she said, "I inside aou.i
angel cake this morning."
"Ah, darling mine, any old eaki
would bo angel iake If yon inaunfau
Hired 11!!"
i
