Nebraska Newspapers

    Nlmama Advektiskr
W, W. SANDERS, Pusi 3Hn
Nemaha,
NcbrasW
Dlseaso causes almost no many wrin
kles as fashion.
Farmers -who ralso good crops do
not have to ratso mortgages.
Did It evor occur to you Hint nearly
all fireproof mtlldlngs aro heavily In
sured? As long m tho newspapers conUnuo
to call tho legislators solons, they'll
think they aro worth moro money.
Mario Corel!! Is pleading hard for
the slmplo life. Let's begin by not
reading any moro of Murlo's writings.
Homo mon possess so much wisdom
that they aro unable to lay their hands
on a certain brand In tima to utllizo
tt
It Is posslblo for any man to be
como a millionaire In this country
with tho posslblo exception of your
self. Why is It that tho man whoso love
letters aro published or about to be
published or to bo read in court is al
ways an old man?
Tho Mikado appears to be so little
disturbed over It that for half a yen
he would Invito tho Oar to his annual
cherry gardon party.
War has lost many of its horrors,
but it will not bo pleasing as long as
Alfred Austin continues to wrlto these
awful poems about It.
Trust-bursting has found its way
into tho South. Tho people of North
Carolina propose to pitch in and knock
tho tar out of tho turpentine octopus.
That Now York doctor who thinks
women are less graceful than men hns
probably been confining his observa
tions to women who wear French
heels.
A girl who has repeatedly declared
for several years that sho never would
marry has Just married, probably In
order to exercise tho womanly privi
lege of changing her mind.
Mormon apostles are now charged
with using church funds for building
homes for their plural wives. Even
that 1b a loss risky proposition than
trying to keep the plural wives under
one roof.
A Cambridge professor has discov
ered that alcohol Is aparalyzlngagont.
How would we ever learn anything If
It were not for the scientists? If you
flon't believe the Cambridge professor,
make a few experiments.
Somebody has gone snooping around
and discovered that one of the men
who loudly protested against the ac
ceptance of Mr. Rockefeller's money,
on tho ground that it was tainted,
owns a building which is used partly
for saloon purposes. How spiteful
somo peoplo are.
That Kansas City boy who length
ened himself two Inches by machinery
In order to be eligible for a naval on-
detshlp can do much better than to go
Into the navy. Let him start ah "elon-
gatory," and chargo an adequate price
for ovory Inch he adds to tho stature
ff undersized but ambitious masculinl-
y.
Senor Manuel do Azplroz, tho Mexl
tan ambassador at Washington, who
ecently died, was Judge advocate of
Iho military courts which condemned
!ho Emperor Maximilian to death.
Haxlmilian was a brother of the pros
int Emperor of Austria. Tho Austrian
louse novcr forgavo Senor Azpiroz for
lis part In tho trial, and his Inter-
tourso with tho ambassador of Austria
it Washington wos restricted to an
exchange of the barest official civili
ties.
It was because Carthage loved
noney moro than It loved country that
It was destroyed by Rome, wlrero at
that time wealth and personal advan
tage were but as dross compared with
atrlotlsrn. And when capital prevail
ed and had done Its perfect work and
people came to rate money before all
else Borne fell. It was tho capitalists
that ruined Rome. Their great suc
cess in amassing wealth finally cor
rupted the people and nothing was
rated before tho money. Then came
the empire (which arrested for a time
but could not cure the disease), and
finally the rotten mass fell an easy
prey to tho barbarians.
Let not tho plodding citizen who
goes to his trade or profession every
day and to church once on Sunday and
takes a walk Into the green fields Sun-
lay afternoon, getting enough money
to keep himself and his family fairly
well fed, boused aud clothed and able
to keep the children well enough dress
ed to go to school, go into the "blues"
very timt be reads about a big opera-
tor making; $1,000,000 or so at slnglo
turn of the market. Beloved brother,
not all of theso stories aro truo. Por- ,
baps n largo mnjorlty of them nre flc-
tlons. Operating In Wall street causes
much loss of sleop find denies n great '
many men the serenity and content-1
mont of wholesome old ace. And then
the tlnio is so short
It has long been said that women
are tho moro like children, but Dr.
Havclock Ellis says that men are tho
more Uko apes. It may bo gathered
from this that Dr. Havclock Kills Is a
man with views and worthy of closo
acquaintance. And so he Is. Ho has
written a book called "Men and Wom
en," In which he shows that a mail is
a man down to his thumbs and a wom
an Is u woman down to the tip of her
toes. Dr. ICIHs loaves llttlo for tho
vanity of the male to feed upon. Tho
fondly supposed superiority of man
over woman Is, according to this new
statement of facts, a myth. Tho sexes
are so widely different that compari
sons, though odious, are Irresistible.
'PlifhfA fu lititvllt ti itinnuitii1k1n nitriltfv
of any sort which Is not unlike In tho
two sexes. Women even button their
garments on (bo other sldo from that
adopted by men, and chooso Sunday
Instead of Monday as their favorlto
day for making away with themselves.
So far as laboratory tests go, Dr. El
lis says that women are unquestion
ably superior in general tactile sensi
bility and probably superior In tho dis
crimination of tastes, with no advan
tage either way In the cose of the other
senses. Women have better memories,
read more rapidly, bear pain better,
recover better from wounds and seri
ous Illncss.aro less changed by old ago
ma live longer, inirtnormoro, accora-
K to tiio same authority, women liavo
relatively largoinrains especially m
the frontal region. The only thing
left in which man is superior Is mus
cular strength, And, of course, as
long as he has that ho will maintain
his supremacy and remain complacent
In his vanity. Where Is tho need of
argument so long as might Is all on
one side? Women, In short, are moro
civilized than men, and civilization it
self Is but tho process of making tho
world ladylike.
It Is possible that society will, some
time, wake up to tho advisability and
necessity of adding at least two mxro
species of high crime to the list de
serving of capital punishment Society
legally slays, more or less scientifical
ly, the man who, preniedltatedly and
with mollce aforethought, murders tho
most vicious and most useless member
of society. It is done on tho ground of
vengeance, safety, penalty and deter
rent to others. But the villain who
wrecks a great bank, ruining families,
making paupers, spoiling the lives of
old and young, robbing honest tollers
by the thousand, driving old men to
suicide nnd young girls to shameful
lives, deliberately and through months
of secret rascality, gets a few years m
prison. There Is no adequate ven
geance, or sofet3', or penalty or deter
rent In this case, wherein the wretch
perpetrates murder wholesale. But
before a Just God, there can be no
difference of culpability between ono
who murders with a bludgeon and one
who murders with, a gamble In wheat
So far as society Is concerned, the dif
ference is only such as that between
the ravages of a mad dog and those
of a contagion. Both slay, both aro
stamped out as soon as possible. Why
not hang bank wreckers? The very
life of our nation is tho law respect
for, observance and impartial enforce
ment of It Tho law must be tho will
of the majority, under our form of
government Yet how often Is tliat
will defeated by bribery and fraud at
the elections! Election frauds are at
tempts upon national existence. Yet
wo aro content to satisfy all consider
atlons of vengeance, safety, penalty
and deterrent In national murder by
Imposing a brief term In prison. It
must seem to heathen like the Chi
nese, for Instance that the highest
crime, under our vaunted form of
government must be assassination of
tho electoral purity. But we treat
such murder as a petty offense. Why
not hang those guilty of natlonnl mur
der?
Revolt of American Mnnoori.
Some day there Is going to be a ter
rible revolt in this country against the
boiled shirt Wo are not going to wear
boards on our bosoms surmounted by
picket fences when the laundryman
feels cross and cuts a saw-edge on our
collars. American manhood In going
to rise In its might some day and care
fully drop the starched shirt over into
the next lot, where the tin cans are-To-day
wo haven't the nerv to do it
We aro under the domination of social
and commercial propriety to such an
extent that wo do not dara to arlaa
and proclaim our freedom In the nam
of liberty of person nnd freedom of
conscience. Some day we will woar
soft shirts aud flowing collars and tha
man who wears a starched board on
his bosom and a sheet-Iron ring around
hla neck will be known for the con
celted and artificial ass that he really
Is. Minneapolis Journal.
A man takes an Interest In some
thing all his life; when b Is old. It la
patent medicine.
II STRICTGONFIDENGE.
Women Obtain Mrs. Pinkham's
Advice and Help.
Bho Hns Guided Thousands to Health.
How Lydiu IS. I'lnkhtim'a Vegetable Cum
pound C'tirml Olri. lrrod Srydel.
It Is n great
satisfaction for a
woman to feel that
she can write to
another telling her
the most private
and confidential
details about her
illnobs, uud know
that her letter will
be seen by a wo
man only, u wo
man full of sym
pathy for her
sick sisters, and
above all, a woman who has had
more experience in treating female ills
than any living person.
Over one hundred thousand cases of
female diseases come before Mrs. Pink
ham every year, some personally,
others by mail, and this has been go
ing on for twenty years, day after day.
Surely women are wise in seeking
advieo from a woman of such experi
ence, especially when It la absolutely
free.
Mrs. Pinlcham never violates the con
fidence of women, and every testimo
nial letter published is done so with
the written consent or request of tho
writer, in order that other sick women
may be benefited us they have been,
Mrs. Fred Seydel. of 412 North 54th
Street, West Philadelphia, l'a., writes:
Dear Mro. I'inklinm:
" O ver ii year ago I wrote you a letter asking
advice, ns I had female ills and could not
carry a child to maturity. I received your
kind letter of instructions and followed your
advice. I am not only a well woman in con
sequenco, but have a beautiful lmhy girl. I
wish every suffering woman in tho land would
write you for advice, as yon have done BOi
much for mo."
Just as surely as Mrs. Seydol was
cured, will Lydia E. I'inkhnin's
Vegetable Compound euro every
woman suffering from any form of
female ills.
No other medicine in nil the world
has such a record of cures of female
troubles as has Lydia 13. l'inkhum's
Vegetable Compound. I herefore no
prudent woman will accept any substi
tute winch a druggist may oiler.
If you are sick, write Mrs. riukham,
Lynn, Mass , for special udvice. It ia
free uud always helpful.
The hours that even the busy
woman gives her children must not
be tho 'fag. ends'' of the doy. One
cannot hope to gain a place In their
'ves unless one gives them the best
of onrsplf. The chief point is nev- r
to be ' tired" when ycu are with
your children. It h a difficult task,
out yiu will live to rcRret it in their
merciless criticism If you grudge the
llmo you givo. And so one should
never lets nnvihlng interfere with
certain hours of companionship rides
or walkB or evening talks. However
biny one has to be one can fib these
n somehow it ono makes up one's
mind to do so.
TORTURING, DISFIGURING
Humors, Ke.emnH, rtcliiuuH, liifhitn-
m-.itioiiH, liuminuK, HcuUliiiuN and
Cluiiiuh Cured by Cuticiira.
The agonizing Itching aud burning
of the skin, us in eczema; the frightful
scaling, as In psoriasis: the loss of hair
and crusting of the scalp, as In scallrd
head; the facial disfigurements, as in
pimples and ringworm; the awful suf
fering of infants, and anxiety of worn-
out pn rents, ns in milk crust, tetter and
suit rheum all demand a remedy of
almost superhuman virtues to success
fully cope with them. That Cutieura
Soup, Ointment nnd Tills are such
stands proven beyond all doubt by the
testimony of the civilized world.
One of tho lust aud simplest sham
poos Is as follows: Dissolve half a
cako of white Homing soap in a quirt
of boiling water. Let it simmer hall
an hour over a slow lire. Dissolve
a tablcspoouful of washing
6(da in a quirt ofb.lllng water
Add It to too soap mixture. Stir
together and iet cool. Use as ;i
sham pro, rinsing four or live times
In rleir watt r.
Your Children's
IS OF VITAI IMPORTANCE.
A lnrgo part of their tlmo la spent In ths
ichoolrootn and it becoincn tlio duty of
every parent and pood citizen to boo to It
that tho i-choolrooms uro free from disease
breeding germs. Decorate the wullsrltU
Cleanly, sanitary, durable, ar
tistic, and safeguards health.
A Rock Cement feiifiiSf
Does not rub or scale. Destroys diseast
perms and vermin. No washing of trails
after once appliod. Anyone can brush It
on mix with cold witter. Tho delicate
tints aro non-poisonou and are made with
special reference to the protection of pu
pils' eyes. Beware of paper and germ-absorbing
and dliMASo-brecdlng kalsomlnes
bearing fanciful names and mixed with hot
water. Bur Alabastlne only In flvo
pound packages, properly labolod.
Tint card, pretty wall and celling design.
"Hints on Decorating," andonr artlsur
services in making color plans, frees.
ALABASTINE CO.,
fraud Rapids, Mich., or 105 Watsr St. K. f .
SUPPOSE WE SMILE,
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
L'lcuannt Incident Occurring
World Over-BuyinuH ttrnt Are Cheor
fill to Old or Youim l'nunjr Hclec
tlouo tliut Uvcrybodjr Will Kujoy.
"How did you make such a rich haa
from the man on the back platform 7
tsked the second-story man.
"Why, I engaged him In conversa
tlon while I rcuched for his diamond
phi," replied the pickpocket.
"You did, eh?"
"Yes, I made a Tie Pass."
Provoked.
"Upon my -word,' said tho surprised
barber, "I see this razor has lost ih
temper."
"1 don't blame It," growled the mai
In the chair. "With all your talkinj
I lost mine long ago."
An Coin pn red.
AMD
TO
DAY (Juest (In restaurant) Here, boy I
Walter Kxcuso me, Ir, but I'm m
boy.
Guest Well, you come as near belnj
a boy as tills mutton comes to beinj
the spring lamb I ordered.
Cause KiioiikIi.
"Thought you were at the concert
to-night V"
".lust left."
"What made you leave so -early?"
"The concert." Cleveland Leader.
From Experience.
"Tho time has come," shouted tin
agitator, "when the poor tramp vll
brush elbows with the millionaire."
"Ilight yer are!" shouted Dusty Don
nls from a back bench. "In a Htth
Kansas town doy locked me In de saim
cell wid a millionaire chauffeur."
M Juration,
"In the spring," said the teacher
"the bluebirds and robins come tir
from the south. Can you name any
thing else?"
"Hoboes," piped the lad whose par
cuts live In the suburbs.
Detached.
"High heels must go!" shouted tin
woman of prudish ideas.
"And lots of them are going," repllei
the old bachelor. "1 found two tba'
got caught in tho sidewalk yesterday.'
Southern IMtilouopher.
The tourist in the boat found the oli
planter sitting on the roof of his sub
merged home placidly puffing his corn
cob.
"Don't seem worried?" ventured tin
tourist.
"Not at all, stranger," drawled tbt
old man. "You see, 1 expect to scl
this hero house through an advertise
incut In a town paper."
"Hut gracious, man, the flood hai
ruined your chances of a quick sale."
"Not at all, sab. I can soy there li
water on every floor."
Not What He Meant to Say.
"This Is my Aunt Sarah. Folks sa;
1 look like she did ot my age."
"Yes, but she'll never look like yoi
at your age." Omaha Bee.
Just Sultu Him.
Some one asked patient Job If h
would like to have a Job.
"There is one that would suit me,'
smiled the meek and patient Job.
"Which is thot?" was asked.
"Why, complaint clerk In a gus of
flee."
How lie Looked.
He When I met you on the stree
yesterday I lookwl full at you, bu
you passed by without speaking.
She - Naturally. 1 never recognise
a mun who looks full.
W5igrRicA$steoPF yycR- $
mill FOUR YEARS
FOLLOWS MALARIA CONTRACTED IS
SPANISH-AMERICAN WAR.
Victim Ilutl llecoinu HclplesH When IT
Tried Dr. WHlinin' rink Vllls, but
Was Cured In Four Month.
Bocauso ho did not know that there is
a remedy for ataxia, Mr. Ariel endured
fonr years of weakness, paiu aud tho
misery of thinking his en so incurable.
"At tho outbreak of tho Spanish
American war," ho says, "I went with
Company B, Eighth Rogiment, M.V.M.,
into camp at Ohickaniangn, and wbito
there my system becamo thoroaglp
poisoned with malaria. When I wert
mustered out, I curried that diseas
homo with mo. After a whilo looomotoa
ataxia appeared."
" How did tho ataxia begin?"
" I first noticed a pain in my ankleit
and leneo joints. This was followed by
a numb fooling in my legs. At times I
had to drag mysolf around; my legs
would shako or becomo perfectly dead.
had coustunt tronblo in getting about
In tho dark. I kept a light burning ia
my room nt night ns I could not balanoa
mysolf in the dnrkness. Even with ths
aid of a light I wobbled, and would
reach oat aud catch hold of chairs to
prevent mysolf from falling?"
" How long were you n sufferer?"
"Four years in ull. During tho last
three years I wos confined to bed, some
times for n week, again for thrco or fous
Weeks nt a time. "When I was lying
down tho pain in my back was fre
quently so severe that I had to bo helped
np and put iu a chair to get n little re
lief. I had considerable pain in my
bowels and no control over my kidnoys.
Tho worst of all was that tho docUrt
could givo mo ho hope of recovery."
"How wo you cured?"
"I read that Dr. Williams' Pink
Pills had cured locomotor ataxia nnd
ono or two friends spoke to mo about
them. Iu tho fall of 1903 1 began to talto
them for myself and I had not used
mOro than one box before I found that
tho pains in my knees nnd ankles wera
greatly rolioved. Four mouths after
Ward Ibccanion perfectly well man, and
I nm today enjoying tho best of health."
Mr. Edward II. Ariel lives ut No. 43
Powow street, Amesbury, Mass. Every
lufferor from locomotor ataxia shonld try
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills without delay,
luy druggist cau supply thorn.
If the eyebtovvs are thin and ill
formed much can be done to improve
them by rubbing pure grease or vas
eline on then, at night, bathing
them carefully in cold water in the
morning and then putting on a little
oetroleurn. Never brush nor rul
tho blows the wrong way. Brush
:bem dully with a small ovem
orusb aud you will find nn Impre
uenb. On the day of a Obincse marriage
uninvited friends and neighbors oi
;veu perfect strangers are allowed
to come in and see tbc bride and
they may make any icmark about hei
?r to her they please. Soraetlmei
iblngs horribly rude and disgusting
ire said. To trv ber temnor a man
will say "Fetch your husband a
:np of tea." If sho does so all will
say, Jeeringly: "What an obedient
wife you are " If she sulks and docs
oot do as she is told they remark:
"That Is a protty vixec with wblcb
w begin married life." We cannol
congratulate you on that tartar,'
md other words to a similar effect y
Vhen the pbor thing is made t
itaud upon an Inverted cup to suom
aow small aro her feet.
WANTED TO SLEEP.
Curiona tlint 11 Tlrcil Prcucher Should
Have Hitch Desire.
A minister speaks of the curious ef
fect of Grape-Nuts food on him anO
bow it bus relieved him.
"You will doubtless understand Iiom
the suffering with Indigestion with
which 1 used to be troubled made mj
work an almost unendurable burden,
and why It was that after my Sab
bath duties had been performed, sleep
was a strunger to my pillow till nearly
daylight.
"I had to be very careful as to whal
I ate, and even with all my care I ex-
ner cnocd nohrnitnt nlivslcul iilstrns'i
after meals, and my food never satis
fied me.
"Six months have elapsed since 1
began to use Grape-Nuts food, and tin
bent-fits I huve derived from It sri
very definite. 1 no longer suffer from
indigestion, and 1 began to improvi
from the time Grape-Nuts appeared os
our table. I find that by eating n
of It after my Sabbath work is (mrf)
(nnd 1 always do so now) my nerves v
tn- quieted and rest and refreshing
deep are ensured me. I feel that 1
iould not possibly do without Grnpo
Nuts food, now that I know Its value.
It is Invariably on our table wo fod
that we need It to complete the nn-nl
and our children will eat Grapo-Mutl
when they cannot be persuaded ti
touch anything else." Name given bj
Post mil Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
There's a reason.
Head the famous little book. "Th
Road to Wolhillc," In each pkg.
-I
X A