Nemaha Advertiser
W. W. SANDERS, Publish
Nemaha,
Ncbrask
A Phlfndelphlu ninn who spent twq if
oara In teaching his parrot to swear
has "got religion."
Dr. Mary Walker can testify that
io gentleman can dress himself prop
irly on $05 a year.
Work will bring success and the of
moro folks you have working for you
Ihc moro sudcess you will achieve.
Wo'vo Just finished counting up tins
iTllIplnos, and avo llnd that wo Pn'l
Bpnln for them about $'2.80 a head.
If Czar Nicholas Is not careful He
Will fool around until they wont let
I . . ... , I ... I 1
turn nave even u coiihuuiuohui imm-
rcuy.
. -. i -
Still, no ono Is going to blnmo China
Very much If she tires of tho role of
being nn Innocent bystander every
Umo a row starts In tho Orient.
Wo might train up our boys with
tho Idea that if they iiiIsb the presl
flency they can at least become "$100,-
000 men" If they try hard enough.
Doubtless the Czar's hired girl bears
. nn i, n wii tvi, Hho
governor of LIbau prison and missed
him. It was lucky for the governor
that ho wns not an Innocent by
stander.
Edward Atkinson Is credited with
having said a woman could dress her-
lolf on $05 u year. Probably an error.
Moro likely ho said a woman couiu
n rnou nor niiaiirimi nil Tiinr. i
u-b ouu now snocueu n gin can iouk
. t 1
nnf thn uiuno illnltnllcnl nmnhnslH unoii
nwnHn , nr .. ,vr
Tho way to get a good name Is to I
deservolt That is something for the
rich as well as tho poor to find out;
mm, on uio wuuie, it mujr not uu a-
crena'Dio it mo ncn are receiMiig k:-
BOnS. I
TT!.nr.,n nM.l,,.,, !, n in fnlllaf .1 .
rfiires thnt President Roosevelt Ih not
n nnniniiUf in ,nM,m-i,nn,i Mini at...
will hnvn to n.lmlt thnt t.lin siuno ro-
will have to admit that the same re
marks will apply to most of the ladles
who bellovo In race suicide.
Professor Wilder of Cornell Uni
versity says tho most beautiful thing
In tho world ls a shark's brain, and
ho recommends that every child should
Iravo ono, to piny with. Wo 'have a
strong suspicion that Professor Wilder
lias como to appreciate tho value of
advertising.
This readiness to accept corrupt mo'
tlvo ns tho source of action of public
men which disagrees with one's no
tlous of what-they should have done,.
1b ono of tho lnducomqtits to corruption
with tho weaker kind of olllclals. We
will bo suspected anyway and might
as woll have the game with the name,
thoy reason. -But, while there Is only
too much cause for such suspicion, It
Is too indlscrlminatlngly laid, and at
taches Justly, In fact, to n small per
centage of, olllclals.
Tho grave of Joseph Hodman Drake,
tho author of "Tho American Flag," is
not to lie desecrated. Twenty-live
thousand dollars hnvo boon appropriat
ed by tho government of the city of
Now York for laying out and acquir
ing part of tho llttlo cemetery In tho
Bronx In whlcn Drako was burled.
Tho plot o ground to bo secured will
bo known ns ltodman Drake Park,
ud tho wish, of FIt.-Groono Ilnlleck,
expressed In n poem on the death of
Mb frleijd "Green bo the turf above
iheo" will bo fulfilled.
Mrs. Julia Ward IIowo sold ot a col
lege alumni dinner not long ago that
sho "had no Oberlln or other college
education, except tho liberal education
that'" any ono ought to hnvo after 85
years of life' In n Christian country."
It 1b curious that tho young people in
the academies and colleges usually
have to live several years after gradu
ation before It begins to dawn on them
that life Itself Is a school In which ono
can get n llbernl education If ono Is so
disposed, and that postgraduate work
In that school Is frequently of greater
value than tho things learned In tho
classroom,
la it not nearly tlmo to quit talking
about a "restored" union? No north
rn man can . go South, no southern
man can go North without saying
something or other about the Avar bo
tween the States, its heroes and its
Klories und how Fita Lee and Jpo
Wheeler wore tho blue, as though there
Is something strange about it. The
fact la that when Ben Hill rose In his
plaoa In th American Congtvsa nnd
w.. . 4. A school i ioiiy airesu with new mo mm
puemea tho enrpot sweoper over the lllt wo uy llfl rnt' u , , . ' energy.
Koor. lest sho should pick up a bomb ' he K"cnt for Creek, DUt it it r0P()immMlli jt to a man tired In
lt doesn't shine on the gridiron It never mind and body as a tonic superior to
Wlll amount to much. An athlete can't anything I know of and well worthy
. . , . . l. ii i , . .i . . ... i...., rin.r. serious consideration." J. Tlgiie.
A Itusslan tired nine sliots at the satisfactorily servo two masters. J ho V1UU nr en ,.,,nii in mir
i
declared thnt ho nnd the; Southern
mofhrf.,,iJ,?M TJS
ngnln In tholr father's house nnd that
they were there to Bluy he spoko for
tho cntiro South and spoke by author
ity. Yankee and Rebel are iw much
one In our country as rouiidtijad and
mallsrnnnt nro in the old country. HuL
Wo continue to ltrotoul too much
about It Homebody may take occasion
to challenge our sincerity.
President LI ginger of Central Asso
elation. Amateur Athletic Uiiion. ad
vocates barring college athletes, from
comnetlmr for athletic chilis. Many
tuo ,.()inU(, m university profes
MrH JM1(I piiyHlriil directors support his
position. The colleges provide their
RtmtixiiM with tli! diamonds, gridirons
L.m,mH,llnH on which and In
Whlch thev become athletes. They fur-
uMl (rn,,rHi They till the students
with (ntiiiiifiice nnd enthusiasm by
.nonilH nr .w.l(-( muHktii voIIk. In con-
Kl.,I,,,.,H - i - - 8o reason the professors and
i,VHc directors-the colleges ought
to have not merely a llrst lien upon
but an exclusive right to tho use of
the biceps, backs, and wind of college
athelctes. They should run, jump,
pitch, tackle, and otherwise expend
their physical energies In the Interest
of no Institution except that In which
they are learning languages, sciences,
and the noble art of slugging without
getting caught. The professors are
right. The reputation of a modern
hcoI lt'louds partly upon the vlcto-
rles of its football team and tho tro-
more he exerts his muscle for one the
less his will be able to exert it for
the other. Justice plainly requires,
therefore, that the college athlete shall
nerve nohodv but his school. Another
rlI1Mm, ,..i.v tno colleirc athlete should
,. imm.(i from competing for athletic
c.juj)S jK tnat jt takes him from hlB
HtU)lk,s. Hi,lce i,H athletic work for
. t n .. .imi nf
ins scuooi coiiHuiuut u kuu" uv-ui w.
limn. If h eoninetes for clubs, too. ho
....... t , stuUylnir done. This
l J I
college professors uiiuk u amouni ui- .
. ,a. i t.nn.....i
nu,Ht 10 noVu, F: Vu ,uut " r?:1 ,. h
Ullll II Kwu uii iuiu ni.uiu.i. ...
,.vnmu u-hntiinr lm knows an.vthinir
nnt lln nnrnnt nr old-
,,,,,, tn imnL,n, muacloa.
(lc8nu)(, ns they are, are less deslra-
w tJ UnoNviC(jgCf nnd to think It Is
,,,,,.. fnr ......nisitJon of thn latter
,.i ,.,,,,,, ,,, n,.A amif tn arOmnl. It I
t.l a 1 A ........til..,,, tl.nit.1 I
W'OUIll IUIKI lO CUIICWUI 1U wm w-
Ko if the colleges would keep their
athletic young men away from ciudb
persuade them to go through a U
few of tho motions of studying.
Thnt liittlo Chnp of Mlno.
I know I'm jest an ordinary, casy-goln
cuss,
llout like the common run of men, no
better an' no wuss.
1 can't lay claim to anything as fur
looks may go,
An when it comes to learnin', why.
don't 'stand any show.
15ut thar must he somotliin' more in nu
than other folks kin see,
'Cause I've got a little chap at home that
thinks a heap of me.
I've-hud my ups and downs in life, aB
most folks have, I guess,
n take it all In all, I couldn't brag
ot much success.
Hut it braces up a feller, an' it tickles
1. in In Utinu'
riiar's some onu takes stock In him, no
...... u ........ , I
inatter how thiniis po.
n when 1 iret the worst of it I'm proud
ns l kin be
To know that little chap of mine still
thinks a heap pf me.
To feel his little hand in mine, so trust-
ii nnr a wrnriii.
in an' so warm,
To know he thinks I'm strong enough to
keep liim from all harm,
To see his loviu' faith In all thnt I kin
say or do
It sort o shames a feller, but It makes
him better, too.
An' so 1 try to he the man ho fancies
me to he,
Jest 'cause thnt llttlo chap of raino ho
thinks a heap of me.
I wouldn't disappoint his trust for any
thing on earth,
Or let him know how little I jost uatully
am worth,
An' after all, it's easy up the better road
to climb,
With a little hand to help you on an'
guide you all the time.
An' I reckon I'm a hotter man than what
I used to he,
Since I've got a llttlo chnp nt homo that
thinks a heap of me.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Vnltin of a llathtub.
A social reformer of tho kind now
declared to be distinctly smart gave a
house party recently. Among his
guests was u Socialist who had never
before found himself In such luxuri
ous surroundings. Tho porcelain
bathtub in particular awakened hla
enthusiasm.
"Ah," ho said one morning at broak
fast with unconcealed delight at tho
reminiscence, "there would bo no dls-
content and no social probloms if
everybody had a porcelain tub Ilka
that."
A woman, who has given a party, Is
as cross the next day as n man la aftcx
a drunk.
His Health Was Wrecked,
Pe-ru-na Gave New Life.
'HON. JOHN TIGItO.
Assemblyman Tlshc's tetter should
be read by every brain worker leading
a strenuous life.
Hon. John Tighc, No. !S Remseu St.,
Cohoes, N. Y.. Member f Assembly
iruiu iiiu iMjuriii insmci, iiumi. i-uumj,
r.. i 1 1 . .ii .!..!.. tn fi
N. i.. writes as follows:
"Pcrmm has in v lii'iirtv indorsement
ns a restorative tonic of superior merit.
At times when I have been completely
broken down from excess of work, so
that my faculties seemed actually at a
Himidstlll, Peruna luis acted as a healing
restorer, starting tho machinery of mind
country causes impaired nerves, leading
to catarrh and catarrhal nervousness
ii disease that is resnonsible for half of
all nervous troubles.
Poriuia cures this trouble because It
cures catarrh wherever located.
If .von do not derive prompt and satis
factory results from the use of Peruna,
write at once to Dr. Hnrtmnii, giving a
lull statement of your case, and lie will
o lu ,vo ou ,us
Aiiuress ur. liarcman, t'rcsinenr, ol
. . . - . . m
The Ilartman banltariuin, Columbus, O.
., , n.B.i7mT,i7:
OUAUUa t.J A W 1 Uillllll V l.nillll U l j KM LI U CJ 111 u
-
The social reformer generally wears
mnt,,f),nt, ..oipq In his Search for
magnifying passes in ins searcn lor
vce.
The two great problems of some
women's lives are Easter bonnets and
unristmas presents.
Every woman bas a secret sorrow
nf cohifh hhn ainrlrl In llti:iwnrf. And
. 1 .1 L. nnJMnn tn Htlnnlrnn
UllCll L1U1U! UCI ..lUUUia 13 UllOHamiU
Ior c0IdnC3S.
A woman often makes a fool of
,f bccu.,se it ls exPeoted of hot;
a man does the same th'ng because
tie can't help himself.
MR. BAYSS0N PUBLISHES EESULTS
OF VALUABLE EXPERIENCE.
A Former rrononncod Dyapopllc rto Now
HoJolrcH hi l'orfoot Freedom from
Miseries of Indication.
rpl,, ,1c nf unfTnrnra lrtlfTW tlint tho
. . irritnblo nnd do-
" " .iie ?c i,n.
,P - ' ! '
1 '" 1 " " " Vo:C' ' ""',::. '
htO gotnit ot tno uimcuity in iu Vuu
nueSUOU.
Good digestion calls for strong tngos-
i n
tivo organs, nnd strougtn comos irom u
enrmlv of orood rich blood. For this
reason Mr. Bayssou tooic ur. wiuiuins
pinc piia for the euro of mdigostiou.
.. tj URV l)Cen
my boat doctor," ho
I bats. " T was KuffAriuir from.dvspeusia.
T . iu fltomaoh after meals
I . . . - r
wero almost unbearable, my Bieop was
very irregular aud my comploxlon wns
sallow. As tho result of using eight
boxes of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, about
tho merits of which I learned from
friouds in Fraiice, I have escaped all
theso troubles, and am nblo again to tako
nleasuro iu eating."
A very simple story, but if it had not
beon for Dr. Williams' Pink Pills it
mitrht havo boon n trngio ono. Whon dis
comfort begins with eating, fills up tho
intervals between menls with pain, and
prevents sleop nt night, thero cortaiuly
cannot bo much pleasure in living. A
final goneral breaking down must be
morly a question of tlmo.
Mr. Josoph BnysBon is a nativo of
Aix-los-Balns, Franco, but now residos
nt No. 2-139 Larkin street, Snu Francisco,
Oal. Ho is ono of a great number who
can testify to tho rcnmrkublo efllcaoy of
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills in tho treatment
of obstiunto disorders of tho stomach.
If you would got rid of nausea, pain or
burning in tho stomach, vertigo, nor
vousnoss, insomnia, or any of tho othor
misorios of n dyspeptio, get rid of the
weaknoss of tho digestivo organs by tho
uso of Dr. Willinms' Pink PilU. They
nro sold by druggists everywhere.
Proper diet is, of course, ft great aid iu
forwnrdiug recovery ouco begun, and a
llttlo book, What to Eat and How to
Eat," may bo obtained by auy ono who
nmkoji n roquost for it by writing to the
Dr. William Medical Oo., Soheneotady,
N.Y. This valuablo diet book contain!
an important chapter on tno simplest
m cans for the euro of constipation.
NAMES
be:
nncTDR
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PEN8 OF VA-
RIOUS HUMORISTS.
I'lcnsnnt Incidents Occurring the
World Ovcr-SnyliiKs thnt Arc Cheer
ful to Old or YotuiK Kunny Hclectlonn
thnt You Will Knjojr.
"Wot are you smllln' at; Weary?
'Tin tickled by (lis article- on the
danger In do soap dish. It says dat
Je way to avoid do germs Is to hnvo
Indlvldool soul) dishes and indlvldool
cakes of soap. But dere Is n better
way dan dat, mo boy."
"Wot'-s do way, Weary?"
"Never use do stuff." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
No Wonder.
Cobb You seem to have an uwfully
strong friendship for Hobb.
Dobb I should say I have! lie di
rected me to a building once without
pointing and making everybody be
lieve I was a fanner. Detroit Trib
une. The Length of It.
Veterinary Surgeon Has the giraffe
been Mck long?
Zoo Attendant Well, I should sny
so. lie has a sore throat.
CiiHtoinnry.
"Mr. Bllgglns thinks ho has the
brightest, most promising boy In the
world."
"Yes," answered Miss Cayenne.
"But that's no sign. Mr. Bliggln's
parents, no doubt, thought the same of
him once." Washington Star.
Nothin Dohi'.
Guest (In cheap restaurant) I say,
waiter, havo you such a thing as n hot
roll?
Waiter Stop yer klddlu'. -On do
level, pard, does I look like a guy wot
has money ter burn? Say, of I had a
"hot roll" yoiiRc kin botcher yer Hfo 1
wouldn't be doin' stunts in dis bean,
ery. See?
Her Objection.
"If wo economize," snld the husband,
"we Avlll soon have a house of our
own instead of having to live In rent
ed property."
"But I'm not sure I should like'
that," answered the wife. "I couldn't
drive nails anywhere I please In the
walls or woodwork of our own house,
you know."
Ah Classified.
Giles That chap across the street
wns the light-weight champion In hla
day.
'Miles You don't say! lie certainly
doesn't look like a prize fighter now.
Giles Oh, he wasn't n prize fighter.
Ho was formerly n coal dealer.
I'n'a Idea of It.
Little Willie Say, pa, is there any
difference between consistency nud
density?
Pa Not much, my son. The man
who Is consistent at nil times is some
whnt dense.
Iu the Kitchen.
"If you can't get along with youi
work 1 will have to get another girl."
"Sure, mam, an' ,1 wish thot y
would there Is work enough here foi
two."
lie Wonder.
"Cheese ltl De copsl"
At this cry tho boys scattered.
The statesman contemplated
ceno thoughtfully.
Ui
"I wouder what would hnppen
murmured he, "if some one shouH
raise that cry on the floor of the Sen
ate."-tLoul8vIUe Courier-Journal.
Tho champion ciub.wlilrkr IsfS?
man named Burrows, of London.
In tho Cantotbury Mualo Hall ol
tha' city ho recontly whirled a pall
of Indian clubs for fortyslx hourf
nnd sevoa, minutes, stopping orilj .
ono hour ana, fourteen minutes 'foil
meals. ffi
A prudonb young marrlod man iq
Kcytesvllle, Mo., was seen hurryirg
along tho street carrying a big papei
baR. Homebody asked him why he
was In such a hurry. "I've Just
boughc a hat for my wife," bore
piled, "and I want to get homo
before tbo stylo changes."
It Payri to Road Newspapers.
Cox, Wis., June 12. Frank M. Bus
loll of this place had Kidney Diseaso
bo bad that he could not walk, no tried
Doctors' treatment and many different
remedies, but wns getting worse. Ho
was very low.
He read lu a newspnper how Dodd's
Kidney Pills were curing cases of Kid-,
ney Trouble, Brlght's Disease and
Rheumatism, nnd thought ho would'
try them. He took two boxen, .and'
now he is quite well. Ho says:v
"I can now work all day. and . not
PUls, I couldn't walk across the lWr.''j
Mr. Bussell'B ls the most w- ilirful
"ase ever known In Chinnewa cv.intv
Tills new remedy Dodd's Kidney Pills
Is making some miraculous cures In
Wisconsin.
Typewrltori wit'i Arabic letters
ro now In uso In Egypt.
Human beings usually begin to
lose height nt tho age of fifty, and
at the ago of ninoty havo lost at
least one and ono-half Inches.
Plants growing near the sea have,
leaves thicker than those growing,
Inland. Apparently the sea salt ls
tho cause of this phenomenon, as,
plants cultivated in artitlclally-salted
loll yield thicker leaves.
Compulsory education has been es-,-
babllshed by the Japanese Govorn-,.
mont. Boys and girls must attend
school when tbey navo attained the: '
age of six, and continue there untiU
bhoy aro fourteen. During thet :. "
(list four years thoy nro taught tbo;
Japanese and Chinese languages, and'
English dnrlng the last roar years.
Fasblonablo people in London;
amuse themselves with a new toy.,
t Is a fortune-telling teacup, ofi
which great quantity ls being sold '
The cup graved inside with truH
mystic symbols of the fortune teller!
a bell, a heart, a horseshoe,
purse, and so on. The tea-leaves at'
tbo bottom are swirled around the;
cup, und according to the position ofl
objects to which they addnro so IsJ
ono's fortune.
Uaiiwtiy rtfito jlh-kihihUou. !
At tho biennial convention of the Or-,
fler of Railway Conductors, recently)
eld at Portland, Ore., resolutions werO
unanimously adopted voicing their sen-,
tlments as to tho effect of proposed
railway rato legislation on tho 1,300,
000 railroad employes, whom thoy in.
past represented. These resolutions)
"Indorse tho attitudo of President
Roosevelt in condemning secret rebates
and other Illegalities, and commend the.
attitudo of tho heads of American rail-
ways, who, with practlcul unanimity.i
have joined with tbo President on this;
question." They then respectfully
point out to Congress the "Inadvisablll
ty of legislation vesting in the hund
of a commission power over railway (
rates, now lower by far In tho United,
States than in any other country," bo-,
cause such regulation would "result in.
litigation and confusion and inevitably,
tend to an euforced reduction in rates,
irrespective of the question of the abll-.
ity of the railroads to stand the reduc
tion, especially In view of tho Increased
cost of their supplies und materials.".
They further protested against such
power being given to tho present Inter-'
state Commission becauso "the pro-j
posed legislation Is not in harmony,
with our Idea of American jurispru
dence, inasmuch ns it contemplates;
that a singlo body shall havo tho righti
to investigate, Indict, ,try, condemn and'
then enforco its decisions at the cost
of tho carriers, pending appeal, which
Is manifestly Inequitable."
Tho conductors baso their demand
for only such legislation, If any, as,
would "sccuro and insure Justice andj
equity and preserve equal rights to ullj
parties concerned" on tho ground that
the low cost of transportation "Is tho'
result of the cfUclcucy of American,
railway management and operation'
which have built up tho country
through constant Improvement and de
velopment of territory, while at the
same tlmo recognition hns been given,
to tho value of Intelligence among em
ployes in contrast to foreign methods,
where high freight rates and lowost
wnges to employes ohtuln."
In pressing their claim agulnat logls-,
latlon adverso to tholr Interests, they
point out tho fact that "tho freight
rates of this country average only a'
per cent of the cost of articles to tha
consumer, thus making tbo freight rata
so insignificant a factor in the selling
prico that numorouB utandnrd article!
are Bold at the time price In all parts
of the country."
Hi
X2L
mm.