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1
HEMH& ADVERTISER
flMABA, UEBBASXA
ar- ,- 4
THE TOOL WHO WON. 1
$4$9$3&!4&&$'$4,S$
When nornco Grccloy first went to
ow York Oity, n green, awkward
untry boy, ho mot with dlscourago-
ent For two daya ho tramped tho
, trcets, visiting two-thlrdj of tho
printing ofllccs in tho town, and al
ways receiving a cold refusal of his
Services.
Ms biographer, W. A. Linn, Bays
t by Saturday night Greeley was
tlflflcd that tho city offered him no
po of a living. IIo decided to leavo
r tho country on Monday, beforo his
at dollar was gone.
It happened that tomo acqualnt-
nces of IiIb landlord, who called on
nndny, told him of an ofllco whero a
mposltor was wanted. Greeley wont
oro Monday wornlm; beforo the
Since was open. Ills' appearanco was
uncouth that ho would havo been
sfejoctcd thoro also If the foroman had
kb't had dlfllcultv In cottlnir a composi
tor for a piece of work ho wanted
lone.
This was setting up a Binall New
Fcstament with narrow columns, tho
text Interspersed with references to
otcs marked In Greek and other un
gual characters. So complicated was
e task and so little could tho com-
osltor cam at It that several men had
bandonod the task almost ub soon as
oy had begun It
Tho foreman offcrod tho work to
rccley, believing that In half a day
e boy would prove himself Incnpa-
Io of performing It When the pro-
prlotor'saw Greeley at work ho asked
tho foreman why ho hired that fool,
Wnd said, 'Tay him olf to-night"
But tho foreman did not pay him
If. Tho boy had worked on a Now
ngland farm, had cut wood In tho
inter cold, and In summer had
'orked In the fields under tho noon
n. no was not arrant or ton. no
t that Testament When tho fore-
an examined the first proof he found
at Greeley had sot more typo and
ot it bettor than any one elso who
tried.
MODERN JEREMIAHS.
Bfeti "Who Bee in All Natural Phenom
ena tlio Sign of Rccny.
, A Russian grand duko meets tho
ows of tho people of 1i!b country by
genial observation: "These peasants
k, I suppose, that Russia exists'
r thorn, as a dog does for Its fleas."
hich means that the Russian people
ro now deslrlnc a volco In their af-
ifairs bo modest and small that In
erdca tho necessity of the request
ins almost ridiculous. Tho empress
afraid that If tho people are given
moro liberty they will explode
mba on her infant son.
TJp in Canada dwells a philosopher
fho looks upon democracy In America
much as tho grand duke aforesaid and
the empress looks upon Russian stir
rings for self-government. Mr., or Pro-
feasor, Goldwln Smith of Toronto Is
U
had
f Hiatreaacd at our elections. "It 1b," ho"
ays, "with regard to the form pro
jvlded for the election of tho Presl
pent, aowoyor, tliat tne work of the
Bathers has most signally and pcr
Mps most unhappily failed. Their In
tention was that tho President should,
fee elected by chosen bodies of select
land responsible citizens." Since the
le have taken tlio nominations Into
eir own hands, and made the efec-
moro registers of their will, Mr.
thinks the result has been "a
coas of national agitation and con-
which sets at work all tho forces
jbf political intrlguo and corruption on
iho moat enormous scalo, besides fill
ing tho country with passions almost
am violent and antl-soclal as those oi
vMl war. Tho qualification for thu
domination Is no longer eminence, but
WrailablUty. It Is not a question which
jaian Is most worthy of public confi
dence, but which man can carry Now
York or Ohio."
The last election Indicated that com
lag from a doubtful State will count
em hereafter, and the rest of Mr.
Smith's Jcromald is about as sensible
as the epigrams of tlio Russian grand
:c Colllcr'a Weekly,
British Army Rations.
(, .. An emergency ration, packed In i
mall two-compartment cylinder oj
Un, Is carried in the haversack of cv
ecy British soldier. As its namo sug
gceta, tho ration is not to bo used ex
tent In cases of the direst necessity
Ono compartment holds four ouncei
f cocoa paste and tho other a slmllai
luautlty of concentrated beef. If con
sumed in small quantities it will mala
tain life for many hours.
Handy to Have Around.
"You don't mind my leaving so
any of these bills, do your' said the
(Hector, with a touch of sarcasm. s
"No, indeed' replied the woman in
fee door. "We rather llko it The
children do their example on the
pore
hotth
. aw
7 aUet
MtB. Olristtt Tne way wo gener
ally do utour bouso 1b for the girl
to forget It and leavo it on tho back
poroh till Itfreozes. Then the cream T
sticks out about two Inches above
the top, und skims It oil with a hat
chet Ohlc go Tribune.
M Queory 1 supposo your wife al
wuyt mtatis what she says?
Flenpcck Sometimes I wish she
did. For Instance, when she says
Bhe wants a little money, sh means
sbo wants a whole lot Philadelphia
Ledger. "
Cured IIr ninuctn.
Halo, Ind., Feb. 27th. (Special.) If
what will euro Diabetes will cure any
form of Kidney Disease, as so many
physicians auy, then Dodd's Kidney
Pills will cure any form of Kidney
Disease. For Mrs. L. 0. IJowura of
this place has proved that Dodd's Kid
ney Pills will cure Diabetes.
"I had Diabetes," Mrs. Bowers says,
"my teeth all became loose and part
of them cann out I passed a great
deal of water with such burning sensc
tkuis I could hardly bear it I lost
about 40 pounds in weight. I used
many medicines and doctored with
two local doctors but nover got any
bettor till I started to use Dodd's Kid
ney Pills. They cured me so complete
ly that In three years I have had no'
return of tlio disease. I am a well
woman now, thanks to Dodd's Kidney
Pills."
Dodd's Kidney Pills cure all kidney
ailments from Backache to Rrlght's
Disease. Cure your Backache with
them and you will never have Rrlght's
Disease, Diabetes or Rheumatism.
Courage i
icsult ov fear.
often merely the
A CLEAR COMPLEXION.
A Simple Home Treatment for Ulnck
IicikIh, limit It iiifli mul Oily Skin and
DlBllgurinK II n in urn.
If you aro nflllctod with pimples,
blackheads, red, rough or oily skin,
or disfiguring humors, you will find
this simple home treatment most
agreeable, speedily offectlve and eco
nomical. Gently smear the face with
the great emollient skin cure, Cutl
cura Ointment, but do not rub. Wash
ofT tho olutment In five minutes with
Cutleura Soap and hot water, and
bathe freely. Repeat this morning
and ovonlng and you will soon be re
warded -with a skin soft, white and
clear. Cutleura Soap, the best toilet
and complexion soap in the world, as
sisted by Cutleura Ointment, will pre
serve, purify and beautify the com
plexion and keep the skin in a healthy
condition, preventing blackheads, pim
ples, eruptions or the return of ecze
ma and othor skin troubles. Used
as a shampoo it cleanses the scalp of
crusts and scales, removing dandruff
and promoting tho growth of the
hair. For red, rough hands, itching
palms and painful finger ends, Cutl
eura Soap and Ointment achieve mar
velous results, often in a single night
The automobile will soon be in us
us a war engine. The Austrian Wat
Deportment bus ordmd the con
structlon of un armored automobile
specially designed to carry a quick
ting gun, mounted on a pivot capa
bio of being raised or lowered, and
turning in all directions. Tne
driver's seat is also so arranged thai
it can to lnwond putllciently to slnli
the man below the lino uf lire
Bw's Tatar
We offer Ouo Hundred Doltan Karmrt fa
py,cfi of Catarrh that cannot be curod bj
17 .1 nili.'vifv . nn i-
We, tho undertlKiiod, haro known P. J.Chcnoj
for the last IB yours, und bolievo him jerfectlj
honorahlo In all bukluoss truubuutlons and nuaa
clully nblo to carry out any obligation uiado bj
tliolr tlnn. '
West & Truax. Wholesalo DruKglsta.Tcledo.O.
wftldlnj:, Klnnnn h Marvin, Wholesale Druj?
KNts.Toiodo. Ohio.
II. .111.. 1.. I. AM a m .
mum v-.iuirru uure is iaKen iniorimiiy, actlm
mrecUy utiou Mie blood and mucous Mirfacos ol
tlio fcyKtoin. Prtco 7So. par bottlo. dold by all
Whirs Fauilly lll ore the best.
Government Impoctors passed upon
59,158,140 live animals lust year at u
cose oi a little more than a cout
cuoh.
A. ODARANTKICDCDRK FOR PTTKB.
Itohlntc, mind, Bleedlnc or ProtrudlnR 111
Yourdrutririst will retund uioney U PAZO OINT
MENT taila l nura tou Id U) U 1" .Vhi
A ouurcn recently dedicateu In St
Paul was erected at a cost of 87,000
ralsrd bv 10,000 contributions of K
emits oach.
SEEISS
Huve KHtH(lod
when others have
failed.
C&taloirue frw.
.H.IlrrniM A Sea
UtrbUkttd, Hut.
Probably, suggested Ma rwadalo,
the doctor hud prescribed a light
diet 0 oveland Lender.
mbxed nmm
Wheat Raising
Ranching
Three Great Pursuits have ujraln
shown wonderful results un the
FREE HOMESTEAD LANDS
OF WESTERN CANADA
Mnnlftcnt dlmMo farrntra plowing In thnlrililrt
ili In inltldlH ir Nnvamlmr. 'Mil nr hound l
b mora llikii I'lsniuiil with llifc tliml rciultnt iI.h im
MMuouV lmriU" KxtiacL OohI, Nriod, itivr. n,
III ttbuutiMno, tcliooli, churoliat, iuKrkttouuvulnL
A Pl fur In tor uiMt lull toSnpurlia uileutuf lunu.Mr
IvjH'.V'W' ult0t V.llnnitu, wl N tort
Lll HulltiiUUi OuiHiia, Nb , Auth.rltuU Uovruuinl
i . ,
JltlllcdllhThnmnpnn'pnuftUotti
tin f jet, sf
9H
GOOD X
Short Qtorles
A Swedish girl, lately arrived from
tlio old country, attended evening ser
vice at a Duluth, Minn., church. The
minister, seeing sho was a stranger,
shook hands with her at the close of
the meeting, and said ho would find
pleasure In calling upon her soon.
Whereupon the girl, blushing, hung
her head, and bashfully murmured:
"T'ank you, but Ay havo a fella."
Professor "Billy" Strunk, of tho Cor
nell English department, Is a fond
papa, also a desperate punster. Lus
favorite form of oxorclso Is trundling
a baby carrlago along tho campus
walks. One day while ho was so em
ployed, a friend hailed him with the
query: "Giving your son an airing,
Billy V" "No," replied the professor
with dignity; "I'm giving my heir a
sunning.'
Tho present Chinese minister, Sir
Chcntung Liang Cheng, K. O. M. G.,
was an interested spectator of the
marriage ceremony of certain young
friends in Washington. At the con
clusion of tho wedding, as tho minister
was leaving tho house, ho made some
Inquiries of a friend with respect to
tho origin of tlio custom of throwing
rlco nfter tho newly Joined couple.
'Oh," replied tho friend, "that's by
way of wishing them good luck." "In
that case," suggested the Oriental,
with Just a suspicion of a smile, "why
Is it not tlio custom to throw rice after
tho hearso at a funeral'"
Once, during his second torm, Gro-
ver Cleveland was asked to speak at a
function in a certain town, and when
he arrived at tho depot the wind was
blowing a gale, sleet Avas driving, and
lallstoncs nearly as largo us marbles
were fiercely falling. Of course, the
novltablo brass band was there, and
at tho sight of the President the per
formers struck up with all the streu
uoslty at their command. "That Is
the most realistic music 1 ever heard,"
remarked Cleveland. "Whnt aro they
trying to play?" asked Secretary 01
ney, who accompanied him. " 'nail
to the Chief I " replied the President,
with u cheerful omlle.
An Irishwoman entered a London
piano store recently, and inqtilred if
any Instruments with iron cases were
In stock. The clerk told her that they
had no pianos of that description, but
that they all had good, strong cases.
Sho then inquired as to prices, which
were furnished, and as to Insurance,
which the clerk said, as a special fa
vor, tho firm would pay for. "Then
til take tho pianny," she said. "Ye
see, between you and me," she added,
as sho took a receipt for her payment,
T'vi n1nt 4 f fin nlflv nlimtf tli n Irtant.
ance, becaze I want to get tlio betthor
ot me ould man. Ho Bald that if I
brought a pianny into the house he'd
smash it wld an ax and, faith, he's
the h'y to do it!"
Bishop McVlcker, of Rhode Island,
told tho members of the Boston Epis
copalian Club one of the best of the
Butler stories. Butler was on his way
to Boston to try a case beforo Judge
Slnw. A young friend mot him on tho
train, and asked him if he might look
at tho notes on tho case. Butler ac
qulesced. The young man, to his as
tonishment, saw written in pencil at
the top of page 1: "Insult tho Judge."
"You see," said Butler, "I first got
Judge Shaw's ill will by insulting him
In some way. Later in tho case he
will havo decisions to mako for or
against me. As he is an exceedingly
Just man, and as I have insulted him,
ho will lean to my side, for fear of
letting his porsonal feeling against mo
sway his decision the opposite way
WONDERFUL PLANT MIMICS.
Coutcdlnneot the Vegretitble KliiKdom
Found in Kalkluiul lalumln.
Insects of very many different
kinds imitate other insects, or lnanl
aiato objects, either for self-protection
or to got food, says London Answers
But it is a much rarer tiling to see
plants sailing under falso colors. The
so-called "living stones" of the Falk
land islands are quite tho most Btart
ling instanco known. Tho Falkland
islands aro possessions of ours which
lie off the coast of Patagonia. They
ire Invaluable for tho excellent graz
lug thoy afford for sheep, but they are
to constantly swept by bitter antarctic
ivlnds that ordinary trees will not
zrow upon them.
Nature, however, has raado amends
'or this lack of timber. The visitor
.o the Islands will find here and tliero
urge areas strewn with what appear
to bo lichen-covered boulders. It is not
intll ho attempts to move one of these
itoncs that he discovers that tho object
s not what It seems. It is anchored
o the ground by tough roots, an is
n fact, not a rock, but a treo without
winches or leaves. These "living
ttones" are very hard to cut, as they
uivo hardly any grain.
But they burn well, mnkljig a very
lot fire.
Other plants seem to take a mere
i'reaUhih pleasure iu suddenly altering
their usual characteristic and looking
ike something quite different Thi
cockscomb of our gardens Is, in reality,
nothing but the common pigweed. The
cockscomb has been enlarged by con
stant cultivation, but it was originally
nothing else but pigweed masquerading
under a new form.
Similar to this is tlio plant named in
sceduien's catalogues "digitalis mon
strosn," or the "monstrous foxglove."
To look at It, no ono would bo likely
to connect It with tho ordinary fox
glove, for its (lowers are flat and two
or three Inches across. Yet it Is not a
cross, but only a freakish form of thfl
ordinary wild foxglove
Some of the most startling of all
mimics in the vegetable world are tc
bo found among the fungi. One ol
them, known as tlio Jew's ear, and oc
casionally found in tills country, haa
gained its name from Its exact resem
blance to a human ear. Another, known
as the aserve, Is the living imago of a
sea anemone, while tho fungus called
Geastor might be taken for a dead
star-fish.
But the quaintest of all theso fungus
pretenders are thoso which' mlraia
birds' nests and are known as tho
bird's nest fungi. Thoro aro at leas(
three different sorts of fungus which
protend to be nests. The resemblanca
Is the moro extraordinary In that tho
little round fruits of the fungus lying
inside the cup-llko nests look exactly
like eggs. Perhaps tho strangest part
of the whole business is that botanists
have nover yet succeeded in dlscov
erlng tho reason of this mimicry on
the part of tho bird's nest fungi.
The plant worm of New Zealand is
another fungus oddity which for a long
time puzzled men of science. It growa
from the body of tho grub of the bul
rush caterpillar and at first sight ap
pears to be a small bulrush. Stalk and
head show a perfect resomblance to tha
plant. But the seeming bulrush Is a
fungus pure and simple, of which the
spore bus settled In tho body of the
unfortuuato caterpillar. As It growa
It absorbs tlio body of its host, but It
takes nothing from the ground, as it
would If It were Indeed a real plant
A great many people imagine thai
the oak apple Is a fruit of the oak tree,
for when it Is fresh it bears a strong
resomblance to a small rosy-tinted ap
ple.
But here again the treo deceives us.
The oak apple Is a gall or disease caus
ed by certain Insects which pierce th
bark and instill a sort of poison, caus
ing a gall to form, which protects ant
makes food for their young.
TELl. TIME BY A PLANT.
One of the Most Pcculinr Productn ol
Nature- A Verltuble Clock.
"One of the most peculiar, as well ai
one of tho rarest plants produced bj
nature is the clock plant, and thbre it
only ono specimen on view in the gar
dons of the Agricultural Department,"
said an employe of that institution to
a Vashington Star man. 'The clocli
plant Is a native of Borneo, and in thai
country even it is said to bo as rare
as in other sections of the world. Oi
course tlio plant derives its name from
Its peculiar habits, which are known
to but fow who have not studied the
plant from a scientific standpoint Tin
plant has leaves of two sizes, one ol
which acts in the capacity of a minutt
hand, which keeps moving until about
4 o'clock In the afternoon, and the oth
er keeps going until morning. Tin
larget leaves acr as the hour hand
Starting In a position when all of tin
leaves Ho close to the step, with all the
points hanging down, they rlso gradu
ally until they turn toward the top.
then thoy drop to their former position.
It takes the smaller leaves about one
minute to go through tills performanco,
and tho longer leaves Just about ar
hour. When the conditions aro favor
able this movement continues through
out the entire day, but not such dayi
as wo have been having lately. It ro
quires good warm sunshine for tin
plants to perform this function. Sucli
days as wo nave been having tin
leaves move, but they do so In an lm
perfect and irregular manner. Why
sometimes the large leaves cling s
closely to the plant that it looks llkt
a huge bundle of twigs.
"The plant is delicate and oxtremelj
hard to propagate, which accounts foi
the fact that we now have only on
of them. W had several, but thoj
have all died. The plant bears a smaL'
llower like that of a pea and its seed
grows in a pod in the same manner.
It is hard to get it to seed in this couiv
try, which makes It extremely dlfilculi
to get seed for other plants."
Tho Oonlldoiioo of Soionoo.
"How is that young man who was
subsisting on a borax diet?"
"In fine condition," answered the
man who was conducting the food ex
perimonts. "Tho only danger Is thai
ho will epoll Ids digestion with ice
water and milk before his vacatlou It
over and ho gets back to chemicals."
Washington Star.
Thirsty Milk Cans.
Wife Have you noticed how mucb
better the milk and cream have been
lately?
Husband Yes. I was speaking to a
dairyman about it yesterday. Ho said
the drought was very expensive to
him. CiuclNnuti Commercial-Tribune.
IT IS IBJi BLOOD
Neither Liniments nor Ointment
Will Reach Rheumatism How
Mr. Stephenson Was Cured.
Pooplo with inflamed and aching
joints, or painful muscles ; people who'
shufllo nbout with tho aid of a cano or a ,
crutch and cry, Oh 1 at every slight jar.i
aro constantly asking, "What is tho bestl
thing for rheumatism ?" ,
To attempt to euro rheumatism by cx-jy'
tornal applications is n foolish wasto of v
time. Tho scat of tho disoaso is in tho;
blood, nud while tho sufferer is rubbing ,
lotions and grcaso on tho skin tho poison
In tho circulation is increasing.
Delays in adopting n sensible treatment
nro dangerous becauso rhoumatism may
at nny moment reach tho heart and prove ,
fatal. Tho only safocourso forrhoumatio
eufforers is to got tho best possiblb blood
remedy at onco.
Mr. Stephenson's experienco with, this
obstinate and distressing affliction is
that of hundreds. Ho says :
"About a year ago I was attacked by
Bovoro rheumatic pains in my loft'
Bhonldor. Tho pains woro worso in wot,
weather, nud at theso periods caused ma I
tho greatest suffering. I tried a number
of treatments and ointments, but thoy J
failed to alloviato tho pains."
Thou ho realizod that tho causomusti
bo deeper and tho pain only a surf uco in-'
dicatiou. He adds:
" I had board Dr.Williams' Pink Pills
for Pale People recommended as a cura'
for rheumatism, and when I found that
I was getting no reliof from applications, .
I mado up my mind that I would try
them. Beforo tho frst box was gonol .
noticed that tho pains were becoming
less frequent, and that they woro not so!
severe as boforo. After tho second box
had been used up I was entirely freo1
from discomfort, and I havo had no traces
of rheumatism since "
Tho chaugo in treatment proyod by:
almost immediato results that Mr..
Thomas StepheiiHOu, who lives at No. 115'
Greoiiwood street, Springfield, Mass.,j
had found tho true means for tho purifl-1
cation and enrichment of his blood. ,
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills aro without
doubt tho best of all blood remedies.!
They effect genuine and lasting cures in
rheumatism. They do not merely deaden
tlio aoho, but thoy expel tho poison from',
the blood. TheBO pills aro sold by all1
druggists.
Man haz the pashuns ov the tiger,
and if be had biz struogbt ho would
huv mado this earth a dreary wilder
ness long agn.
WAY SET SOME
f WMPM
I CLACK OH YtUCftV
ill It lMHa m.
... ti rr
IN THE
LOOK FOR ABOVE TRADE MARK BEWARe OflMITATIOld
SHOWING rULU LINE OF GARMENTS AND HATS.
A. J. TOWER CO., BOSTON, MASS.. U.S.A.
TOWER CANADIAN CO , LTD.. TORONTO. CANADA-.
FARMS FOR SALE
fall III U J. MULHALL JjI
ON CROP
PAYMBNTS
MULHALL, isloux City. la.
10,000 Plants for 16c.
. oauier uoeut iiiwi nny giuw in
'AnurlcE. There Is renon fur thin.
ductlou of our warranted ncaiis.
Wa own over &.000 iL4ra for tho tiro
Ia order to luiluce jou to to uiviu, wo
iiitk-e yon tne ioiiowiuk uupro
For 10 Conic Pant paid
coueuicu uuen
(nnii . I I m .1 . I - .
SOOO Vtu Jolc Turnip.
SUflO BUnchlnR (Vlf 17,
SIHIO Kirk .Naltj Ullut.,
Jaeo Ipleadld Union,,
JOUO liar Lottlou. Ilajlih..,
auuu wioru.ir ur1111.nl viuwem.
AboTO reran p-ckirn eontUn lufll
dent seed to grow 10.OW plants, fur-
ni.uinK duiuuii or urllllnut
flowers itntl lotnnnd lotsof cholco
v(f Utlo, to(fetlior with our r rel
ruin) telling all about Flowere,
&okvw, Sin.ll Fruit, etc., all for
leo in Bimp anu una notice.
jug itu-page catalog aione, to,
JOHN A.SAIZER CEED CO
CNU. La crosoo, win.
VTf'-Vv 't j.'1ju 7777
1 lifrrrrtri rr
It Cnrea Colds, Couclig, 8oro Throat Pmi,, r.
na, Whooping Counh, BroSi' iKtfffi
& certain cure for ?oi umptlon M.t iS!
,4
JECCS' CHERRY COUCH SYRUP
j"o v,Mf;ii una colas.
YDhK Nl'B
. '
ymm
AWAfX
ac.4' v
if!
VM4
G J.