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About The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909 | View Entire Issue (April 8, 1904)
MMAHA ADVERTISER. W. W. SANDOHS, Publisher N ?.! A HA, NBIiUASKA The truth that hits in fao truth we fin to. The high llvcra do not reach tlio heights of lifo. A flack of Hour never hurt any poor family that 1a struggling to get through tho winter. Itndlum, you may hnvo observed, 1b now guaranteed to do all those things that liquid air was going to do a few yearn ago. Mine. Nordlca doesn't got any ali mony, hut her case Isn't so had. 8ho won't have- to support tho gentleman any more. It appears Unit when a society worn an writes a magazine article she fur iiIhIick a paragraph or two and the editor does th'.i rest. Posslhly the reason so many men make fortunes on a thousand or two a year Is because they do not let the left hand know what the right hand Is doing. The lion. Bourkc Cochran, who Bay the United States Is the "hoodlum of ho world," has no objections to being one of tho hoodlum's hired hand at $15,000 a year. Tho outcome of this war Is going to bo disagreeable cither way. IQ very body hope Itussla will 1ms whipped, but If Japan wins how will It bo pos sible hereafter to hold the .(apples? When It becomes established thai radium will cure cancer It will then appear that about the only disease In tho treatment of which medical science has made no progress since the Pharaohs Is baldness. A Chicago man wants a divorce be cause his wife insists on moving more than six times a year. ISvldeiilly that gentleman thinks there may be such a thing as running the breaking-home-ties business Into the ground. Sympathy for Whltnker Wright is now being aroused In England. Wright's great mistake was In not committing IiIh sins over here, where lie might, Instead of taking poison, have taken advantage of a technical ity of some kind. "Tho king can do no wrong' even in an automobile. The act of parlia ment requiring the registration and numbering of motor ears and the reg ulation of their speed does not apply to King Edward, nor does his majesty need a driving license. Of the immigrants lauding in the United States during the Usual year, 51U0U had less than $:!0, and 185,007 could neither read nor write. It is no sin to bo poor, but it seems wicked that there are so many adults In the world who have never lecn to school. Bomethlng wrong somewhere. According to the doctrine of chances, a boy who has no middle name Is more than twice as likely to become Presi dent of tho United States as one who has a middle name; and the hoy who has more than throe names lias no chance at all. Of the twenty-live men (who have tilled the ollice of President, seventeen had two names each for Van Huron is one name, and not twN. Since 18S0 no triple-named President lias been elected except .Air. Cleveland, twho gained a chance by dropping his iirst name. Hut - One must distinguish bctweon experience and wisdom, Wisdom Is knowledge In action. Wisdom Is ap piled experience. Many persons learn a lesson by experience and then full to prollt by It. Many persons Buffer and then fall to get strength out of tho Buffering. This 1b true: Tho highest good will never come to you until you uro prepared to receive It. Tho best gifts of life will never be yours until the way has leon cleared for them by tho uppllcd lessons of experience. Lieutenant General Young, the retir ing chief of stall' of the army, sent a package to General Chaffee, his suc cessor, with this note: 'Private Young, Company K, Twelfth Pennsylvania .Volunteer Infantry, presents his com pliments to Private Chaffee, Troop K, Sixth United States Cavalry, and asks Jilm to accept this pair of lieutenant general's shoulder straps." There never was a more slgulllcant Illustration of the opportunities enjoyed by young men In this country than Is given by this note to the new chief of staff from his predecessor. It Is a remarkable fact, when proper ly viewed, that a parent cannot be queath his own experience to his child. A parent can give his child the ex ample of right living, advice and money, but he cannot give his personal experience. Suppose 1 could bequeath my experience to my boy? And my boy to his boy? And so on. In a few (generations wo should havo a perfected humanity. Why this plan of redeem ting tho race did not recommend itself (to divine wisdom wo cannot say. As a matter of fact, every person must bocomo a pupil in tho school of experi ence. Tho old adage says, "Experience is n dear teacher, but fools will learn in no other." That Is not true. Expe rience is a dear school In which all meu, wise and foolish, must learn. J' ear of the tomato, which arose from the fact that It waB a cousin to henbune, belladonna and the deadly nightshade, Is rapidly disappearing. 'Jen years ago a hundred and live mil lion cans were put up In this country. Last year the output of the ea liners In tho United States and Canada wits two hundred and forty-two million cans, of which Marylond produced more than tho total output of J8!Kt. Indiana. West Virginia, Delaware, California and New Jersey, In that order, follow Ma ryland as the chief tomato States. To matocs are not the only fruit Unit grows In cans which appeals to the cultivated American taste. Green corn Is about half as popular as tomatoes. Illinois Is the chief corn-canning State, with a record of about twenty-live mil lion cans. Iowa conies next, and New York third. It looks from these lig ures as If the vegetable-raisers amend the alleged practice of the f-Milt-grow-crs in the West can all they can and eat all they can. Hut it Is not vegeta. bles and fruit alone that aro preserved In tin. No one need eat fresh food un less he prefers It, for the market con tains canned roast beef, canned tongue, canned chicken, canned veal loaf, can ned soups, canned pork and beans, canned beans, cunned beets, canned peas and canned almost everything except canned digestion, and that Is put up In glass nol'les at the druggists. ready to be tal.Mi tluiic with the things In tin. A club lady In Chicago. In a meet ing of matrons to dlHcunt the great is sues of life, wlio-i asked how to man- age a husband so as to secure domestic tranquility, promptly answered "Feed the brute plenty of good, well-cooked food," ami the club ladles all made a note of It, and It. Is believed the ex periment Is now on extensive trial In the windy city. This recipe for do mestic happiness suggests a menagerie view of married life, and may furnish a reason for the -tendency to board rather than keep house, that is so strong upon, many married people. In tills view it Is complimentary to the sense of Justice of the brute. For wlia t dyspepsia he ire Is at. a hoiii'tHiiir- house table he does not blame his wife, but tho landlady. She cares nothing for tho growling of the animals at feeding time, provided they don't die in the house and will be burled from the undertaker's melancholy parlors. l his new plan for peace foreshadows also the permanent disarming of the domestic forces, since young ladles about to assume the task of marrying one of the brutes will be impelled to acquire a knowledge of the mysteries of cooking In order to live happy ever after. When this art is generally at tained the hoarding-house landladies will In; overtaken by lack of trade and will be punished for their manv trans- gresslons. So a beautiful vista opens in I rout of tile American, homo ami the dove Is likely to build her nest In the stomach of that brute, the Ameri can husband. Abbrovoyutcd Court sh In. Dan Cupid sliotte atte my swotclierte's liorto, Hutte shew dodged, end yC arrowe Mr. Sou I tooko aymo atte liyr sweto reilde llppcs And, in spyte of liyr dodgeying, Kr. Ye dero lytel soulo was quyte dysmayd; Hutte, explayning I was ye Dr., l qiiyck npplydo more two-lyppe salve, And in my urines' eraydul Kr. Shoo whysperod that slice'd a syster heo, And "woldunt I boo juste a Hro?" "Notte muehe, petto!" 1 sayd, "trie tliy.i hiNteddu I loir I jentlie gayvo liyr Ano. ".My trowe luvo, canst thou notto bee nn bryile?" 1 questyoneil and pressed for yo Ahh. A softo voyce behyiido myno euro roplyde, "You're see pressyiig, perhappes I Cans." Nowe, "faynte herte never wonne laydio fayr" Noe, nor over cliaynged Miss to Mrs. An ye luvo a niayde, boo notto nfraydo, Hutte. when nrrowes tile wydc, trio Krs. Harper's Magazine. Tlioy Favor tho Other Sort. "I supposo you and your daughters agreo pretty well?" "Agree perfectly, except on Just ono point." "What's that?" "I'd prefer self-supporting sons-in-law." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Not for Salo. "Lots for sale," read the thought ful man ns ho passed along the street. "Yes, I supposo that's true, but, thank goodness, there aro a fow of us vet that money won't' buy." Boston Transcript STILL A CHILD Old Man-" What! Marry that child?" Suitor "Your daughter Ib no longer a child, sir; she is a woman." Old Man "Nonsense 1 Why, she Isn't a bit bossy yet." SMALL HILLS Friend "If your washer woman charges by tlio piece It must be rather expensive." Young Housekeeper "Oil, no. She loses so many things that her bills are never high." In tho Hpring. Lowndes, Mo., April Ith. Mrs. if. C. Marty, of this place, says: "For years I wus In very bad health. Every spring I would get so low that I was unable to do my own work. I seemed to be worse In the spring than any other time of the year. 1 was very weak and miserable and had much pain In my hack and head. I saw Dodd's Kidney Pills advertised last spring and begun treatment of thorn and they have certainly done me more good than anything I have ever used. "I was all right last spring and felt better than I have for over ten years. I am fifty years of age and am strong er to-day than I have been for many years, and I give Dodd's Kidney Pills vredlt for the wonderful Improvement." The statement of Mrs. H.rty Is only one of a great ninny where Dodd's Kid ney Pills have proven themselves to be the very best spring medicine. They tire unsurpassed as a tonic and are the only medicine used In thousands of families. Truth witnesses In vain where malice Is tho Judge. Ram's Horn. Fruit acids will not main goods dyed with PUTNAM FADELESS DYES. A woman likes to lie suspicious so she can feel so confident afterwards We uhc Plio'8 Cure for ConnamntIon In preference to liny other cough medicine. -Mrs. S. E. Bonlun, -M2 P itreet, Wash ington. D. C, Maj 25, 1001. LOVELY AMIABIL- WOMAN'S' ITY Mrs. .finks "If you are so fond of playing poker, why don't yot teach me, and spund your evening!- at home?" Jinks "Urn-supposo 1 should win" Mrs. Jinks"! have plenty ol money. Kit Might down" Mr. Jinks (tho next day) "No mun can understand women. The aro mysterious. Why, sir, my wlf Insisted on my plying poker wltl her last night. Of course, I wen i pile from her. Well, sir, sho paid over the money with a smile on he. tuoe -didn't mind it a bit." Caller "Beg pirdon, but I am Mr. llouscowuers' gent, and havt called for the rent." Mr. Jinks "Why don't you eo to tho houso as usual? I loft tho rent money there for you a week ago." Caller "I Jus-t came from thore. Mrs. Jinks said sho gavo tho mono to you lust night" Samuel Ball of Grand Rapids, Mich., is tho holder for the present year of the fellowship In gas engineer ing supported at the University "f Michigan by tho Michigan Gas Asso- iation. EMPTY NOW. How One Woman Quit Medicine. " liile a coffee us-er my stomach troubled me for years," says a lady of Columbus, Ohio, "and I had to take medicine all the time. I had what I thought was the best stomach medicine 1 could get, had to keep getting it idled all the time at 40 cents a bottle. I did not know what the cause of my trouble wus, but Just dragged along from day to day suffering and taking medicine all the time. "About six months ago I quit tea and coffee and began drinking Postum, and 1 have not had my prescription tilled since, which Is a great surprise to me, for it proves that coffee was the cause of all m trouble, although I never suspected it. "When my friends ask me how I feel since I have been taking Postum 1 say, To teM the truth I don't led at all only that I got hungry and eat everything I want ami lots of It and It never hurts me, and I am happy and well and contented all the time.' "I could not get my family to drink Postum for a while until 1 mixed it In a little coffee and kept on reducing the amount of coffee until l got it .ill Postum. Now they all like it und they never belch it up like coffee. "We all know that Postum is a sun shine maker. I tlnd It helps one great ly, for we do not have to think of aches and pains all the time and can use our minds for other thing.;." Name given by Postum Co., Ha. tie Creek, Mich. The one who has to homer wKh cof fee aches and pains is badly handi capped in tho race for fame and for tune. Postum Is a wonderful rebuild er. There's a reason. Look in each pkg. for tho famous little book. "Th'e.Koad to Wellvllle." MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK Tourist (la Utah) "Polygamy Is no longer pructlcod, I am told." Ex-Morman (dejectedly) "No and it's a shatno. Ooly ono wife 1 What good Is ono wife? Just a trial, that's all." "now so"? "Evorythlng Is at sixes and sevens. Nothing ever done. Muttons off, meals half cooked everything wrong. In the good old days we had one wife to sew on buttons, another to darn stockings, another to boss tho servants, anotl.jr to do the shoplng, and another to attend to the duties of society. A man had some com fort then," HE WOULDN'T DO Railroad Superintendent "Yes, I have decided to open a bureau of information, for the accommodation of passengers who wish to know about trains, and I am looking for a good man to run it." Applicant "Well, sir, I havt) been a railroad ticket agent for a good many years." Superintendent "Then you won't do. I want a man who is accustomed to giviuR Information." THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE Cholly "What's tho mattah with Algy. He's cutting all his fwlonds dead." Chappie "He has to, poor fellah. Hccawn't master tho new English liaudshake, don't chor know." Hcnoh tho Spot. To cure an ach ing back, The pains of rheumatism, The tired-out feelings, You must reach the spot get at the cause. In most cases 'tis the kidneys. Doan's Kidney Pills are for the kidneys. Charles Blsr Imch, stone Con tractor, llviifc'at 2025 Chestnut street, Erie, Pa., says: "For two years I had kidney trouble and there was such a severe nain through my loins and limbs that I eould not stoop or straighten up with out great pain, had ditllculty in getting about and was unable to rest at night, arising In the morning tired and worn out. The kidney secretions were irrcjr- ular and deposited a heavy sediment. Doctors treated me for rheumatism, hut failed to help me. I lost all confi dence In medicine and began to feel as If life were not worth living. Doan's Kidney Pills, however, relieved me so quickly and so thoroughly that I glad ly made a statement to that effect for publication. This was In 1S08, and during the six years which have elaps ed I have never known Doan's' Kidney Pills to fall. They cured my wlfo of a severe case of backache In tho same thorough manner." A FREE TRIAL of this great kid ney medicine which cured Mr. Bier bach will be mailed on application to any part of the United States. Ad dress Fostor-MIlburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For sale by all druggists, price CO cents per box. . i- lit- r Mrs. Haskell, Worthy Vice Templar, Inde pendent Order Good Templars, of Silver Lake, Mass., tells of her cure by the use of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. "Deak Mns. Pinkham: Four years ago I was nearly dead with inflam mation and ulceration. I endured daily untold agony, and life was a burden to me. I had used inedluiues and washes internally and externally until I made up ray mind that there was no relief for rae. Calling at the home of a friend, I noticed a bottle of Lydia B. Plnklutm's Vegetable Compound. JUy friend endorsed it highly and I decided to give it a trial to see if it would nelp me. It took patience and persevereneo for I was in bad condition, and I used Lydia lu. Plnkham's Vegetable Compound for nearly five months ml 'T?8 l5",r-eik,but 'T Mat Vhilnf?e' from despair to happiness, from misery to the delightful exhilarating feeling health always brings. I would grand uSlcne tllOUSand dollurs. aid your Vegetable Compound is a nAflTrif$i0Ve7 "lck woman would try it and be convinced." Mrs. Ida Goo I Templars.1" ' VrUiy ViCU TeraPlar. Independent Order of rnoyi!.0?llJ.l"e-,k,V,0llaS bcc"s"cccssful in more than a million oof t0 ay' WithWt trylnff it, "I do not Surely you cannot wish to remain weak, and sick and dls- SS;efrSWi CaCh day'S .aYi hnv rsome tairrlf,, 0ifenmn,in? wsnntem, and Lydia 13. Pinkliam's Vegetable Compound will help you just as surely as It has others. i irs. nine nart, of Larimore, N. D., savs: v&it IX T-. . r fivX. ,UKAii MRa- I'inkham: I might have been WPm. iP i i mUUy onths of suffering and pain if I AmW& bad known of the eflle.K.v nf l.v,l?.. i? i?..i, hum's Vegetable Compound a few months booner, for 1 tried many lemedies without find ing anything which helped me before I tried the Vegetable Compound. 1 dreaded the approach nfonnl0 mo.ust""il . period every month, as it Z l t "1U0h Buffering and pain. Some months f L i w;vasflvery scanty and others it was pro Jiibo, but after I had used the Compound for r " m?nth? 1 to-'eanie regular and natural, and so I continued until I felt perfectly well, and the ports were strengthened to perform the work without assistance and pain. I am like a differ ent woman now, where before I did not care to "v,";7 Pleased to testify as to the good yow Vegetable Compound has done for mo. " blncerely yours, Mas. Tii.uk Hakt, Larimore.N.D meiCfi.,i;' Vrlievc(l T)y a" women II V l!n 11 llm Vyl,a I3- I'inlcham's Vcge iim?inC?ii,ipoiV? ls tho edicino they SV,?i I M l Un? stoo(l '0 tst f time; if J , il,Y?i fUn4V(Mls wt thousands of cures !mwi lhn Wo,"?n should consider it -n? Vs.0 any ot,,cr medicine. m"2uF, V 5lmm whoso address is Lynn, cost all letters addressed Vn i.v Li i er c,'eiTlly and without Wife