Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 20, 1903)
THE NEBRASKA ADVERTISER Wi W. BANDERS & BON, Fabllitiers. NEMAHA, - - -'- - NEBRASKA. THEN LIFE WOULD BE A JOY. It ix follor didn't havo V bo V bed at eight o'clock, If no cradlca wuz oround th' houno ho hdd t' rock and rock; It ho didn't havo t' ntny at homo when company comes 'round, f ho didn't ImVo t' wear tho' stlffcst col lars over found; If ho didn't havo t' go t' nohoql, nor llggcr up a Mum, I'd Just llko t' keep on llvln for a thou sand ycuru t' come. Sf a feller didn't havo t wash himself behind th' earn; Ht ho took things from th' pantry, an' hod uftorward no fears; If ho didn't got a llckln' when In swim mln' ha wuz found; If ho didn't havo t' speak a ploco whon ovory one's around if ho never had t' tako advlco from pcoplo old an' Blum, I'd Just llko t' keep on llvln' for a thou sand years t' come. If a follor didn't havo t' keep th' clothes ho had on clean; df his dog wuz just th' biggest any ono had ever seen; If th' boys oround th' corner bowed their heads when ho Wont by; If ho never had t' do a slnglo thing upon tho sly; ft whenever ho might wish t' he could lay oround at home, '.I'd just llko t' keep on llvln' for a thou sand years t' como. !tf a feller could buy peanuts an somo Ice crenm by tho brick, An 'thon havo no ono t' toll him that thoy'd "surely mako lilm sick;" If that qannon by tho schoolhouso, when ho wished It, would bo 11 rod; If ho could but go a-llshln' an 'stuy thoro until ho'.n tired; At ho never fer th' ball gamo failed t' havo tho proper sum, I'd just llko t' koop on llvln' for a thou sand years t' como. -N. Y. Press. C1P BY lift I WHEN Alonzo'fl telegram camo Thursday ovenlng, Baying "Join jno horo immedlatoly," I knew atonco that ho wits desperately ill. It must havo been something sudden, for I had a. letter from him that morning, and Jio didn't speak of anything out of tho way Just told what u good time ho was having and about a golf tourna .mcnt that he was to play In in a few days. I was suro ho wouldn't havo .Eont for mo unless something sorious was tho matter husbands don't you icnowr-and I thought it might bo an .accident. Somebody got awfully hurt w.ith a putter 'in that morning's paper, .and tho uamo thing might havo hap pened to Alonzo as well as not. It wa3 after' ton o'clock at night when tho dispatch camo, but I throw .somo things into a dross-suit case, while Bridget wont to call a cab and Delia telephoned to tho station to find out about tho trains. I was so oxclted that I couldn't chodso a thing for tho bag, but I picked up whatever, camo .along from my bureau and a wrapper from tho closet" to wear on tho sleopor .and crammed thorn In any oUl way. Brldgpfc catno back with tho han- .eoin just as Delia finished tolling mo about tho train, and I rushed oft with out giving thom a Blnglo direction About, anything and paid tho man double to get me to the Grand Central in timo, Wo did it, but when I got out I noticed that I had brought my Huffy whltb chiffon, parasol instead of an umbrella, and' it upset mt so that l spilled all the things I had in my chatelalno bag over tho floor at tho ticket window and nearly lost tho train while I was picking them up, although ho policeman "and another man helped jno, all they could, I didn't havo time to ask, at tho in .formation bureau how I was to roach whoro Alonzo was, but I got on tho Boston train becauso I know wo went through Boston, but whether it' was ibccauso'ho had business1 thoro or whether ho had to in order to got to Upper- East Scottypaw I couldn't ro .member. Naturally I was wide awako after, touch a shock as that telegram had .given mo, but I cquldn't pit up all :nlght, so 1 rang for tho porter to find ray borth for mo. It was, lower C. looked hard at tho number, for I'm nl ways careful about thoso things, 'Some 'women mako such foarful mistakes. Tho porter said tho upper borth wasn't taken, and, of course, I was ,glad. I've nover Uoon to Europo, but I can't understand why Americans Jjrag so about our travoling convex iences. Travoling Inconveniences, I should call thoni. And how anything in Europo can bo worso than an Amorl- scan slooplng car I don't know. 1 crawled .bohind my curtains and aat down on tho edgo'of tho berth to got some things out of my vallso. Tho man who belonged In tho section across, the aislo came from qomqYhqro and steadied hlmsolf with his hand on any knoo as ho dug hlB' coat c&s'a out? from underneath his borth. Of course I realized that ho didn't know It was a part of mo ho was loaning on, but It did seem a littlo Informal. It's hard work to unpack your bag doubled up in tho darkness of your borth, with tho upper borth bumping your head, ovory timo you move and Jamming tho hairpins Into your skull, but I managed at last to pull out my wrapper. It felt fearfully tumbled, for I had put It In simply anyhow. But, thon, what's a wrapper for but to got mussed up? I hung It over my arm, and started for tho cubby holo that thoy call a dressing room In sleep ing cars. Just as I reached there I rcmom- borod that I didn't havo my comb and brush, and I turned back for them. Then I did what tho comic papers aro. nlways getting off Jokes about. I went to tho wrong berth. I don't know how I over mado tho mistako, for I know very woll that I belonged to No. G, but I guess tho fat round part of tho figure eight deceived mo, and I poked In be tween tho curtains and felt about for tho vallso. Imagino my horror when a big bass volco lnuido roared out: "Oh, fado awny!" I fairly staggorcd back into tho nlnlo, I was so startled, and I stopped with all my wolght on to tho baro foot of a man who was sitting behind tho curtains of tho opposlto borth. Ho said somothing with about a dozen A's in It that made it a wail of pain, and I turned round and apologized to tho curtain. By that timo I was so confused that it's a wondor I over arrived any whoro, but I did find No. G at last and hunted. for my brush and comb. Do you know, I couldn't find thom? T took ovory blessed thing out of that Mtit caso, and tho list was something llko this: A shoo-horn, a spangled fan, an ostrich feather stole, an empty cologno bottle, four veils, tho three best stocks I own ull wot with cologno and rolled into a littlo ball, a pair of long whlto evening glove3, a laco hand kcrc.hlof, a pink chiffon sash and a whole armful more of stuff that I had swopt out of my top bureau drawer, and not a single thing that was of tho least use to mo for going to he'd pur poses. Literally not one! And you can rcallzo all that that moans If you think about it for a moment! Thoro was nothing to do but bo philosophic, so I thought I'd arrango my hair tho best I could with ray side combs, and I started again for tho dressing room. When I got under tho lamp I glanced down at tho wrappor ovor my arm and I recognized in that tumbled mass not my wrapper, but my new black velvet princess dinner gown. That was tho finishing touch to my misery, for I hadn't had It In tho houso a month, and I'd beon wanting ono for yoars, and it was all wot with cologne and a regular wrinkled wreck. I was so discouraged that I went back to my section and wont to bed Just as I was. My only ray of consolation was that thoro ,was no ono over mo; but Just aa I was thinking that thoro was that, at least, to bo thankful for, a black hand camo In through the curtains and tho porter said: "Lady, thoro's a gentleman como for. tho upper, arid I want to put on your supplementary curtain." "Supplementary," indeed! Of course I said "very well," and ho hung up a fooliBh littlo strip of green stuff, and I tried to feel very oxcluslvo and secluded whllo a big, fat man cllmbod up the stop ladder, and so nearly fell off it that ho lit in the berth nbovo with a crash that fright enod mo to death. All night long it was a toss-up which groaned tho loud or, he or tho berth, and it sounded frightfully near arid horrid, and 1 couldn't Bleep d wink; but lay awake and worried about Alonzo. When Aloiuo wont to Upper East Scottypaw ho wrote to mo about the Boston terminal station. Ho said it was "great." Ho didn't do it justice. It is "groat" in several senses of tho word. My train camo In on track '2d, and I took about n half. mile of pedestrian oxorcide bo l'oro I found, tho Information office; They seem to havo ovorythlng a travel or can want In that station except a brus.li and comb and a wrappor, but I couldn't find any signs of a desiro to provide mo with thoso lacks in my outfit. I discovered, that my quickest way of gotting to Upper East Scottypaw was to tako a train to Portland and a boat from thoro. Why In tho world Alonzo ever went to such n far-off place I can't guess. I sent hlra a telegram to say I was on tho road. I had to send It. "collect," becauso I had spont all ihe money in my chatelalno bag, and It was so embarrassing to tako oft my shoo right thoro at tho telegraph win dow and got out the bills I had In It. 1 did It, though, boforo I crossed tho city to tho station that the Portland train wont out of. Havo you oyer been to Boston? It's u cross-eyed Bort of town. I don't wonder everybody wears glasses. took a car that looked, as If It ought to go somewhere But you needn't ever talk to mo again about Boston Intelli gence. That car hod no senso at all. It didn't know what It wanted. It wpnt5 on tho surfaco and it wont un derground arid It went on tho elevated Or elso it was anothor car that I changed into nt a placo called Rox bury that wont on tho elevated. At, any' rate, thoy said I wan about fouv mllos from tho station I needed, and I got exactly into tho car thoy pointed out, and when I asked again thuy said I was in Oharlestown. I don't think Mho people had any moro senso than tho car. I was nsarly two hours riding around before I found tho station, and thon I did really havo a few hours' peace until I reached Portland. Thoro I telegraphed again to Alonzo so that ho'd keep his courage up. Thoy cay a patient's will plays a groat part in his recovery, and I know that Alonzo would try to llvo until I got there. If over I did got there. Every moment seemed an hour, though tho boat started almost Imme diately and seemed to bo doing Its best. I was so exhausted by not having Blept for so long that .1 wont to bed early and fell asleep at once, but 1 was awakened somo timo in tho mid dlo of tho night by tho most awful nolso, that sounded llko horses. I lay awako and listened, just trem bling with fright, and, sure enough, it wns horses. Tho boat was tossing about, and ovory timo sho gave an ex tra bad shako thoso horses would blow tho way they do when thoy'ro ox cited, and dnnco around, and a man would shout at them. I think thoy had a Btateroom directly under me. I didn't Bleep Very much after that, of courso, and I was a wreck when 1 got up In the morning. Thero was still a littlo jaunt of CO miles to bo made on a train, and how Fwas to accom plish It I didn't know. Only my fear ful anxiety for Alonzo made It scorn posslblo that I could llvo through It, I was so tired. But I pictured him to myself lying so wan and weak upon a bed of pain, and It gave mo strongth to strugglo on. I picked up my dress-suit case, full of Its collection of usoless things, and thon unlocked my door. Or, rathor, I didn't unlock my door, for tho key wouldn't turn! I twisted, I struggled. I sat down and cried. I rang tho bell, but in the bustlo of preparing for tho landing nobody paid any attention to it You can imagino that by that timo I was almost distracted. I never felt so helpless In my life, not oven when tho hammock broke and let mo down flat on my back and unablo to movo, right at tho feet of tho bishop of Oklahoma! Oh, no, that wasn't nearly so bad, for there, at least, was the bishop of Ok lahoma, whllo on that boat I might as well havo been In my gravo for any attontlon that anybody paid to me. All night long people had beon tramping up and down In .front of my room. Now thero wasn't a footstep, of course. At last It occurred to mo to let down ray blind and shout out of tho window. You can fancy my dollght when I saw a deckhand way off in tho distance, and I called to him with all the strength I had left In me. It wasn't much, but ho heard mo at last, and camo on tho run. I handed out tho key to him, and ho wrestled with tho lock from tho outside. It seemed to be a case whero outsiders and Insiders were oven. Tho thing wouldn't budgo. "I think I'll be obliged to haul yez outen tho winder, ma'am," said the deck hand respectfully. I must say that was a staggering proposition, but I didn't seo any al ternative except to sit thero until thoy cut out that lock and lose my train to Scottypaw. But tho window was discouraging. It was small, you know, and I'm not as tiny as I used to be. Why, when I wati married I only weighed 92 pounds, and I measured 18 inches round the waist, while now woll, novor mind what it Is now; enough more so that I didn't llko tho looks of that window at any rate I tried my feet first and I tried head first, and the man pulled and 1 pushed, and which way I got through at last I don't know, but I did light on that blessed deck after a torrlble'strug- glo. My rescuer reached In and got my valise, and I started for the gang' plank moro dead than alive. I supposo I looked as haggard as I felt, for a man on tho pier ran for ward to tako my bag. Ho pulled off his cap as ho seized It and cried, "Hullo, Mamie. This, la great!" It was Alonzo. Rigged up In golf things, and as tanned, as an Indian, and fairly bursting with good spirits. i sat down on a truck and burst out crying. "What did you mean by sending mo that telegram?" I sobbed. "It was a contomptlblo thing to do, I thought you might ho doad by this time." Alonzo took mo right In his arms beforo all tho pasaongors and ovory thlng wasn't It awful. "I never said I was sick, child. thought you might enjoy the tourna' raont it begins to-morrow so I wlrpd you to como down. I think I havo a prbtty good chance," ho wont on, patting m6 on tho back In an ah sent-mlnded sort of way, "and thoy'ro going to havo tea overy afternoon, and you will llko that, at any rato." , That was the finishing touch. I looked up at my husband and put all tho sarcasm I could rako, together Into mv volco. "Your thoughtfulhess for my amuse ment Is really too groat for words) Alonzo. What do you ''expect mo to wear to thoso teas of, yours? My black velvet dinner gown?" Philadelphia Public Ledger. - ma Mmmem 17 I Miss Rose Peterson, Secretary Parkdale Tennis Club, Chicago, from ex perience advises all pains and sickness peculiar to their sex, to use Lydia E. Pinkham's How many beautiful young hopeless women, simply because sufficient attention has not "been paid to their physical development No woman is exempt from physical weakness and periodic pain, and young girls just budding- into woman hood should be carefully guided physically as well as morally. If you know of any young lady advice, ask her to write to Mrs. give hor advico free, from a source of knowledge which is un equalled in tho country. Do which ono may not like to talk a full understanding of tho case. menstruate "Dear Mns. Pinkham: I feel it is my 'duty to write and tell you of the benefit I have derived from your advice and the use of lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. The pains in my back and womb have all left me, and my menstrual trouble is corrected. I am very thankful for tho good advice you gave me, and I shall recommendyour medicine to all who suffer from female weakness." Miss Fannie Kumpe, 1022 Chester St., Little Rock, Ark. (Dec. 10, 1900.) Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound will cure any woman in the land who suffers from womb troubles, inflamma tion of the ovaries, kidney troubles, nervous excitability, nervous prostration, and all forms of woman's special ills.. $5000 FORFEIT If wo cannot forthwith produce tho original letter aad signature flC above testimonial!, which will provo their absoluto genuineness, YOUTH EARNS A FORTUNE. Start with Small Capital In London and Now Mnkei $1007000 ' a Year. Evelyn Wdench, whose coming of ago was celebrated by a banquet in tho Hotel Cecil' at London recently, is a remark able example of Inborn business initia tive turned to profitable account. Ho is i son of Privy Councilor Wrench, one of tho commissioners under tho Wynd bam new Irish land act. On leaving Eton school ho went three years to complete his education in Ger many. Thoro ho foresaw tho future of tho picture po3t-card craze. Ho returned In three months to London and opened a small shop on tho Haymarket, with agencies In Germany and other coun tries for picture post cards, and less than threo years' tjrodlng finds him with more than $500,000. He began on $250, and now is earning $100,000 a year. Tho business has been turned Into a Joint stock company, which Is publishing 50,000,000 post cards per annum. WITH NERVES UNSTRUNG AND HEADS THAT WISE. WOMEN BROMO - SELTZER TARE TRIAX BOTTLE IO CENTS. young girls who; have Vegetable Compound. girls develop into worn, listless and who is sick, and needs motherly Pinkham at Lynn, Mass., who will not hesitate about stating details about, and which aro essential for Miss Hannah E. Mershon, Ceilings wood, N. J., says : aI thought I would write and tell you that, by following your kind advice, I feel like a now person. I was always thin and delicate, and so weak that I could hardly do anything. Menstruation was irregular. "1 tried a bottle ot your vegetable Com pound and began to feel better right away. I con tinued its use, and am now well and strong, and regularly, l cannoc say enougn ior what your medicine aid tor me." ,How firs. Pinkham' Helped Fannie Kumpe. Lydla 32. l'lukhaoi Med. Gov. Lynn, Teas "He proposed tp mc to-day, and he was so impatient. He Manted me to marry him right awny. But I wns not to be hur ried." Jess "So you put him off, eh?" Tess "Yes, indeed. I told him ho'd have to wait until to-morrow." Philadelphia Press. "Some folks " said Uncle Eben, "git credit foh bein lucky 'case dey has senso; nn' others, gits credit foh havin' sense 'cause doy's lucky." Washington Star. Virtue and happiness are twin sister-. Chicago Daily Wews. SAWYER'S Pommel Slickers 'Keep yon dry in wcttea weather. Executor Ilr-nd Oiled Clothing havo been famous n the best for 60 years, insist on too cennine. Look for trado mark. If not at dealers write n. m. Birrrim A SON, SoloUfr. Eut Caabrllf , 31u ACHE mm Ml Sour ,