The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909, January 05, 1900, Image 7

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"KAH-PEK-KOG" CLUB.
IIV AVIIIGIIT A. PATTKUSON.
F0 YOU realize, gentlemen," naid
J Smith, as the members of the Kah-pec-kog
club gathered around the evening
fire, "that this is to be our last evening to
gether in these woods for at least a year?
To-iriorrowour vacation in the Muskoka lake
district ends, and by to-morrow evening, if
nothing unlookcd for happens, we will have
nailed up the door of the clubhouse, reeled
in our lines for the last time this year, stored
our boats, and the night train on the Grand
Trunk will be carrying us swiftly back to
the states and to our various vocations.
"Without going into particulars, or men
tioning names, it has seemed to me that this
would be an excellent time to confess our
prevarications so that we may quit this beau
tiful spot with a clear conscience. 1 would
uggest "
"To what do you refer, Brother Smith?"
asked the Pastor.
"To put it in plain English," said Smith,
"I think we have all lied more or less, and
that now would bo a "good time to tell the
truth."
"I -presume that you realire that there
are exceptions to that statement of 'all.'
Brother Smith," said the Pastor. "Now,
I-"
"I made no exceptions, and intended
none," said Smith. "As for myself, I am here
to state now that I have lied; lied as big
as I knew how and still make it a lie that
might bo believed, and I guess you fellows
wallowed it without much question.'
"The biggest lie that I have told since I
have been here was that one about the
number of bass Yorker and I caught iu
llcaley lake. We were trying to outdo the
Pastor, and did so far as the lie was con
cerned, and if lie did not believe our story,
it was because his own was not true. What
... "
we
"I shall have to refer this matter to the
congregation when we reach home, Brother
Smith," put in the Pastor.
"I would advise you not to," replied
Smith, "but as 1 was going to say, what
we did catch that day was all in the boat
when we returned, and, as several members
of this club counted them, it will not be dis
puted when I say there were 138 bass of
over the legal length."
"It was only 128, for I counted them to
gether with Husky Bill," said Tice.
"What is the matter of ten bass more or
less, anyway?" replied Smith. "Hut there,
gentlemen, in my confession, 138 bass in
stead of the five or six hundred that I told
about, and I believe that every one will feel
Letter if they follow my example."
"I believe that the advice Smith sives us
is good," said Yorker, "and I realize now as
I never did before the enormity of the lie I
told in reference to the muskellungc I caught
In Crauo lake. I simply wish to say
that I did catch a muskellungc, and that it
did upset our boat, but that waB due to our
awkwardness, rather than the size of thu
fieh, for when we got it on shore, which we
finally did, it only weighed 42 pounds."
"You told me the truth of that Crane
lake story the day we were at llealy lake
together," said Smith, "aud you said it only
weighed 37 pounds."
"What is a matter of five pounds more or
less in the size of a muskellungc?" said York
er, and Bill Beeves nudged Husky Bill when
Smith did not reply.
"1 have told so many different tales re
garding the size and weight of iish that I
have caught in these Ontario lakes and
rivers," &nid Tice, "that I hardly know
where to begin my confession."
"Why not straighten out the Moon river
story of 38 muskellungc, 79 bass and 120
trout in ten hours?" asked Husky Bill.
"That might be a good place to begin at,
as that story was exaggerated somewhat.
The ttuth is that I ouly caught 35 muskel
lungc, (JO bass and no trout at all, for I
did not fish for them. Theie are any num
ber of trout in that stream and its tribu
taries, however, and I do not doubt that it
would be quite possible for a man to catch
as many fish as I said I had caught in the
Moon river in the length of time i claimed
to have fished. In reality I only fished nine
hours and three-quarters. As for the other
tories I have told about fishing in Kali-pec-Kog
and the surrounding lakes, I can
cover all of them with the single statement
that I never caught more than 110 bass
in any one day in any of these lakes, but
that, I imagine, is better than any of the
rest of you ever did, if the whole truth was
known."
"Gentlemen," began the Pastor, "when
Brother Smith started this little experience
meeting, I did not realize the good that it
was to accomplish. In fact, I was afraid it
-would result in more harm than good, and
that the prevarications I cannot bring my
self to the point of calling them lies that
havebeen told by several of you around these
evening fires would only be again exag
gerated, and that some of you at least would
return to your homes with an added weight
upon your conscience. It has pleased mo
greatly to listen to such confessions as have
been made this evening, ami I am sure
that you feel the better for having made
them. There is one thing for which I am
aorry, and that is that Brother Barnes is
iat here to retract the story he told of
catching more fish than I caught at Crown is
land Fevcrul years ago. I am sure that had
Brother Barnes been with us to-night ho
would have been moved to tell the real
truth of that story, and so remove a load
from his conscience."
"What are you going to do about that
atory of yours that started the trouble?"
asked Tice.
"1 wish to say in regard to anything that
I may have told since 1 have been here, that
to now deny the story, and offer a so-called
confession would be but a fuice and a lie
in itself. When I told of those 590 bas-s my
self and a friend caught in one day"
"You said 5G0 before," said Smith.
"Possibly I did, but 590 was the correct
number, and I only wished to correct my
former statement."
"1 guess those bonds you put up guaran
teeing the Pastor's reputation will be de
clared forfeited when you get home," said
Husk Bill to Smith, as they walked back to
the clubhouse.
"Well, it has taught me a lesson, any
way," replied Smith, "and I won't be so fool
ish again very soon. I am sorry for hl sakf
aa well as my own."
A CUBAN INCIDENT.
Touching Scene Unacted "When Cnr-
nlry Horse AVeru llelntr,
liitmlrtl.
A most Interesting- incident In tho
Cuban campaign happened in connec
tion with the unloading of cavalry
horses anil pack mules from the va
rious transports olT Siboney.
At first the horses, one by one, wcro
coaxed, pushed or prodded from nn
open port into the water, where a
waiting1 boat picked tip tjio floating
halter, and started for shore with the
plunging- beast in tow. But this
method was soon found to be too
slow.
The troops under Gen. Shafter were
waiting at Siboney to make an ad
vance on Santiago; but before tho
movement could begin, the army must
have its horses nnd mules to drag- ar
tillery, commissary-wagons' nnd am
bulances over tho muddy mountain
trails, nnd to hurry ammunition nnd
food to the hard-working men on tho
firing-line.
This slow piloting- of each animal to
the shore wus abandoned, and the
horses were forced overboard and left
to reach terra firma ns best they
could.
Then began a pathetic struggle to
gain tho beach.
Some of the horses from the first
stroke of their churning hoofs, re
mained unterrificd nnd clear-headed.
These swam directly for the shore,
and when they reached it, walked
with a matter-of-fact calm up tho
sandy slope.
But a majority of tho poor beasts
lost their wits, and swam about in
wide circles, Inching the water into
foam, with abject fear manifest in
their wildly staring eyes.
Everywhere horses' heads dotted tho
bay. A few of the panic-stricken an
imals turned and swam out to sea,
to certain death; others floated in a
bewildering- circle, and every moment
settled lower beneath the waves.
At this crisis a trooper, upon wlioso
arms blnzed the yellow chevrons of a
cavalry sergeant, ran. to the water's
edge, squared his broad shoulders,
clicked his heels at "Attention!" nnd
raising- a bugle to his lips, sounded
blast after blast across the rolling
waters.
If the sea had suddenly parted' to al
low these half-drowned animals to
walk ashore drj'-shod, the effect could
hardly have been more striking than
that of these bugle notes.
As the well-known call of "Stables!"
reached the confused and frightened
horses they raised' themselves from the
water for an instant, then with ear3
erect and pointing toward the familiar
call they swam directly toward the wel
come sound.
Dizzy nnd sore of lip, this cavalry
Gobriel sent his saving blasts over the
water until the last horse had drawn
his wearied length upon the beach and
wns led trembling to the shade of the
palms. Youth's Companion.
Not the -Yornt.
As an instance of the sort of things
one might wish to have expressed dif
ferently, a prominent physician re
ports a remark made to him by a pa
tient. The doctor hnd written a noto
to the lady, and on his next visit sho
asked him to tell her what two words
in it were, as she had been nimble to
decipher them. "It has been said of
me that my writing is the worst thing
about me," said the physician, laugh
ingly, ns ho surveyed his own scrawl
with doubt. "Oh, but I'm sure that is
not bo!" was tho hasty disclaimer.
"Far from it, doctor, far from it!"
Youth's Companion.
p???rww?!??r?gw3H'
HE WANTED THE TROUSERS,
-Which Accounted for III Inability
to Itcmove tho Uremic
Snot.
A young fellow on the South side has a
negro valet, an old-fashioned fio.utlicrn
darky.
"lfcrc, Jeff; I want those trousers cleaned
and preaspd to-day." he said, pointing to a
rather loud-striped garment that dclf has
long had lus eyes on.
"All right, sah," said Jeff, with a sigh.
Next morning Jeff brought the trousers
back with a big grease spot still prominent
on one knee.
"Can't you get that spot out?" said tho
owner of the trousers.
"No, Kill."
"Did you try turpentine?"
" To' de Lawd, I done sacchuratcd 'cm
wnl turpentine.
"Did you try coal oil?"
"Yes, sah; po'ed n quart obile
"Did you try aliotiron?"
nn..... ..;i. r...t
on cm.
"Puty nigh bu'n't 'em up!"
"HIil vntt Irv- luuitrinnV"
"Done tried benzine an' kerosene, nnd nil
de other zincs, an' 'tain't tech dat grease
spot."
"Well, did you try 'em on?" queried the
master with a twinkle in his eye.
"Yes, sah," replied .left, with alacrity,
"an' dev's a puffect fit, grease spot an' all,
sail." Chicago Inter Ocean.
Think Colnnihua .Mrulc n ailntnlce.
We liked Americana very much, indeed
tho kindof Americans one meets; but we did
not like the American mob, the human back
ground, the kind one doesn't meet; nnd it is
unfortunately the mob, the human back
ground, and not the chosen remnant in the
foreground, that gives a country its char
acter, its dominant note. American food,
American hotels, American railway car
riages, American shops (and the "Indies"
and "gentlemen" who flung things at us in
them), American officials, American serv
ants, American newspapers, the starved
looking American landscape, nnd last, but
by no means least, the great American cli
mate, ended by getting on our nerves to
Mich a degree that wc were compelled to
wonder, witha French friend of ours, whose
affairs necessitated his residenco in New
York; "why Christopher Columbus had not
exercised a little discretion and kept his dis
graceful discovery a secret." London
Chronicle.
Latent In AilvcrtlHltifr.
A new scheme of advertising was resorted
to by a progressive business linn in a pros
perous city in the south. Tho junior partner
of the firm swore out a warrant for the nr
rcst of the senior partner on the ground
that ho was selling goods below cost and that
j tue linn was constantly losing money there
by. The case came up in com f nnd the eoun
1 sel for the senior partner asked for a post
I poncment in order to have more time to pre
I pare his case. The judge granted tho re
I quest, bail was fixed aud the senior mem
ber released. As he left the courtroom the
junior partner arose and exclaimed: "If
he is released the sacrifice will go on!" The
news soon spread nnd the firm did a better
business. When the case wns again called
no plaintiff appeared and the charge was
dismissed. The firm had succeeded iu their
object advertisement. Plukidclphia Call.
THE GENERAL MARKETS.
Kansas City, Mo., Jan. 2.
CATTLE Best beeves $4 25 fi G 15
Stockers 3 75 dp 5 00
To:ans 2 CO ffp I 25
IIOGS-Cholco to ho-ivy .... 3 00 ifj I 40
BIIEEP Pair to cholco 4 00 5j 4 45
WHEAT No. 2 red Ctl U 70
No. 2 hard Oil S 05
COrtN No. 2 mixed 2SMi 2!
OATS No. 2 mixed 23 fj 21
RYE No. 2 47 fi 49
PLOUU Patent, per but.... 3 20 ft) 3 33
Bakers' 2 10 0 2 40
HAY -Cholco timothy 0 00 & 1 00
Pnncy prairie- 7 00 dp 7 f0
BRAN (sacked) G8f Vj
BUTTER Cholco creamery 21 2t
CIIEESE-Pull cream 12& 134
EGGS Choice 14 Gp lC'Ci
rOTATOES-ChoIco 05 45
ST. LOUIS.
CATTLE-Nntlvo and sill's. 3 00 C 75
Toxnns 3 50 4 HO
HOGS ll.-nvy 140 4 50
SHEEP Pair to cholco ....4 00 4 50
PLOUU Cholco 5 35 3 40
WHEAT No. 2 red CO 72
CORN No. 2 mixed 31 31
OATS No. 2 mixed 23 24V4
RYE No. 2 52 53
BUTTER-Creamcry 23 2CV4
LARD Western mess ." 22V 3 25
PORK 9 00 9 50
CHICAGO.
CATTLE-Good to cholco ..4 23 C 50
HOGS-Packlng and nhl'g.. 4 23 4 40
SHEEP Pair to cholco 4 25 4 S3
PLOUR Winter wheat .... 3 40 3 50
WHEAT No. 2 red 07& GO
CORN No. 2 30 30
OATS-No. 2 22& 23
RYE 50 52
UUTTER Creamery 10 22
LARD 3 40 5 45
PORK SS7jS0O
NEW YORK,
cATTLE Nutlvo steers. ... 4 50 4 40
HOGS -Good t choice i C3 I to
SHEEP Common. to choice. 2 fi'lfc 4 CO
WHEAT No. red TiWP 74i
CORN-No.- 2 ;.. S0V.fi 40"
OATS-No. 2 ...,...:... 23 2SVi
The Hoy on the Ilnchnhunil.
This is what the hoy wrote about the
dachshund: "The dachshound is a dog, not
wUhstandin' appccrencics. lie has fore legs,
two in front nn' two behind, an' they ain't
on ppeckin' terms. I wunst made n docks
hound out of a cowcuniber an' fore matchis
an' it looks as nachral as life. Docks
hounds is fairly intelligent, considerin' there
sliaip. Tharc brains bcin' so far nwny from
thare tales, it bothers them sum to wag the
lattur. I wunst noo a dockshound who wuz
too impashunt to wate till he cood signal
the hole length of his boddy when he wanted
to wag his talc, so he maid it up with his
talo thet when he wanted it to wag he would
shako his right ear, an' when the tale seen
it shake it wood wag. Hut ns for me, gimme
n bull pup with a peddygree." Chicjgo
Chronicle.
Beware of Ointments for Cntnrrli
Tli nt Contain Mercury,
as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange the whole sys
tem when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should never be used
except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians, ns the damage they will do is
often ten fold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Hall's Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo,
0., contains no mercury, and is taken inter
nally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucotiR surfaces of the system. In buying
nail's Catarrh Cure be sure you get the gen
uine. It is taken internally, nnd made in
Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney & Co. Testi
monials free.
Sold bv Druggists, price 7.1c per bottle.
nail's "Family Pills are the beat.
Time nnd Money.
Miss Komantiquc The foreign nobility
having nothing to do, must lead awfully mo
notonous lives.
Miss Kobtique Yes, I notice those who
come over here never seem to have any
change. Catholic Standard and Times.
The Plorliln Air Line.
Through Sleeping Car line St. Louis to
Jacksonville, Fla. Double daily service via
Louisville, Lexington, Chattanooga, Atlan
ta & Macon. Most attractive route. For
information address 11. A. Campbell, G. P.
A., St. Louis, Mo.
Mr. Zwcipiggiestcinstoppcr is the name
of a foreigner who has recently located in
this city. The other morning a neighbor
passing by him in a hurry said: "(!ood
morning', I vas glad to see yon, but I vill
nod mention your name; I'm shortness of
breathe dis moruin'." Jdliet (111.) Star.
The ncnt Prescription for Chill
and Fever Is n bottlo of Gunvr.'s Tastkmiss
Ciiii.i, Tonic. His simplyirnnundnulninoin
utastclesaronn. No euro -no pay. Prlco,50c.
U. S. SENATOR ROACH
Says Pcruna, the Catarrh Cure,
Gives Strength and Appetite.
The large number of artioles left on the
pawnbroker's hands proves that there are a
great many people int this world without a
redeeming quality. Elliott's Magazine.
T
To Turn u Cold In Oun IJnv
Take- Laxntivo Uromo Quinine- Tablets. All
uruggists refund money 11 it rails to cure. lioc.
st
Sundav must be tho strongest da v. since '
all the others are week-days, and vet Sun
day is broken oftenest. Elliott's Magazine.
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES do not
otain th? hands or spot tho kettle. Sold by
all druggists.
The hungry mendicant prefers tho cojd
ham to the cold shoulder. Chicago Dairy
News,
SAVE gT Mk TIN
YUR T AK TAGS
Hon. W. N. Konch, United Stales Senator From North Dakota.
ITon. W. N. Roach, United States Senator from North Dakota, personally
endorses Peruna, tho great catarrh cure and tonic. In n recent luttcr to Tho
Pcruna Medicine Company, at Columbus, Ohio, written from Washington, D. 0.,
Senator lloaeh nays :
"Persuaded by a friend I have used Peruna as a tonic, and I am. glad
io testify that it has greatly helped me in strength, 'vigor and appetite I
have Been advised By friends that it is remarkably efficacious as n cure fot
the almost universal complaint of catarrh."
Senator Roach's home address is Larimorc, North Dakota.
Pcruna is not a guess, nor an experiment; it is an absolute, scientific certain
ty. Peruna cures catarrh wherever located. Pcruna has no substitutes no
rivals. Insist upon having Pcruna. Let no ono persnndo you that somo other
romedy will do nearly ns well. There is no other systemic remedy for catarrh
but Peruna. Address thu Peruna Medicine Company, Columbus, Ohio, for afrco
book on catarrh, written by Dr. Ilartmun.
-k ic& -fc&icit -A k ik
it
it
-k
it
"Star" tin tagB (showing nmuil otars printod on under sido
of tag), "HorBoShoo," ".T.T.," "GomlLuak," " Cross Bow,"
and "Dmmmond " Natural Loaf Tin Tags aro of equal valuo in
scouring presents moutiouod bolow, and may bo assortod.
Every mau, woman and child can iind something on tho list
that thoy would liko to havo, and can have-
3EX JES JESI
i
'kk-k'k'kkifk'kkic-kicfcickit
TAOH.
1 Match Ilox 2fi
2 Kli'fe, onn tilarln, good Mon 21
3 Hrlraors, 4H Inches US
4 Olilld' Ht, Kntfn, Fork ami Hroon 3i
6 Halt nnd Pepper Hut.onseaoh, quad
ruple plate on white metal 0
Frenoh Urlar Wood Hpe 14
7 llaiur, hollow ground, fine Knxll'li
teal M
Butter Knife, triple plate, beat
quality IM
Sugar Shell, triple plate, beat qual., 60
IS Stamp Rnx, utorlluc diver 70
11 Knife, "Keen Kiltter," two bladM.. 71
15 Jlntrher Knife, "Keen Kutter," Sin
blade 78
13 ShearH, "Kren Kuttsr." S-lnol 7
14 Nut Set, Ciacker and iJ I'Icid, Mirer
Plated so
IB Ilane IIall,"An"irlatlon,"bot nnul.100
16 Alarm Clork, nli-kel 1W
17 Hlx Genuine Kogiira'Tennpooni, best
Plated Rood Ho
18 Watch, nickel, item wind and net.. 300
19 Oaryrrn, jjood atot'l, buckhorn
handlrn 200
0 Six (Irtiulnn Itnt'f ' Table Spoone,
... 1't plated booiU 110
31 Six each, Knives and Forks, buck
horn handles lifl
33 Blx each, Genuine Itni-rrV Knlrea
and Forks, best plated goods BOO
TAOS.
33 Clock, 8-day, Calendar, Thermom
eter, llaroiueter too
34 Onn I'aso, li-alhnr. no hotter mode. (00
Si Knvolvnr, automatic, double action,
82 or S8 caliber 600
86 Tool Set, not playthings, but real
tools 6J0
17 Toilet Set, deooiatod porcelain,
rery handsome 800
Sft JlemlnRton Hltle No. 4, M or S3 ral . too
29 Watrb, sterling eilver.full Jew!! 1009
30 Dreis Suit Case, leather, liandiome
and durable 1000
31 Hewing Machine, first class, with
all attachments 1(00
S3 Ilnrolrer, Colt's, 38-cllber, blued
ateel 1500
53 Klfle, Colt's, l-khot, 33-callbar 1W0
54 Oultar (Washburn), rosewood, In
laid 3000
35 Mandolin, rery handsome 3009
M Winchester Repeating Shot Oun,
HKeuxe 8000
37 Homlngton, donble-borrel, ham
mer Shot Oun, 10 or 1 J gauge 3000
88 Illcycle, standard make, ladles or
gents 1500
33 Shot Oun, llemlngton, double bar
rel, barainorlMi 3000
40 Regina Muilo Ilox, 15H Inch Dlso.,6009
THE ABOVE OFFER EXPIRES NOVEMBER 30m. 1900,
OH""'"' imaiuo stars pr nte 1 on under side 11 f tag), are f o-hx! op Vrtnt;
J. , ,. ; l"it will be paid for In CASH on the basis of tweutycentsper
hundred, If recelvd by ns on nr before Ma'Ch 1st, lain. J .ur
IIl liAU l.N .MINI) that m. dime's uorlh or
STAR PLUG TOBACCO
will list lonoor nod nfToril m ro pleasure tliim n illine'a worth or any
ut.1-ri11111.1i. MAKE THE TEST!
Send lags ta C.TI.VB.TAfj TOKACCO CO., SI. Louis, Mo.
MILLIONS
OF ACRES
PjOtivfTi Ry?v N
WM
. v fjan,artB
ilHn.TsWllH7fi'lii Ml
of eholro iiL-rlriiHiiral lands
now oncnod for Rcttlptni-nt In Western Oiiiiudu.
Mora is gronn mn cuio
bnitcd No 1 Ilnrd Wlitmt.
which brings tho highest
prluu In tho inurKctH of
till) world. TlKMlMlllllS of
cattlo uro futtoui'il for
market without being fed
giiilli.ntidwlthouttwlny's
bliullor. Ho iid for tutor
million nndBcciirii a fri-o
hmmi In VpHtfrfi (?nnrnln.
WrltotlioHtiiiorlntcnilcntor Immigration. Ottunn,
or addruss tho Uiiilirslgniil, who will mull you
ntlas(!H,ptimiihot,ulG.,licoor rust. F. IM'JIJl.KV.
Hunt, of Immigration, OttuiTii. C'aiindn; or to.l.H.
CliAWl'omi. iltt Wi-st Kliilli Ht , KunhiiaClty, Mo.j
V. V.ltt.N.VlUT, Ml N. V. I.lfu UIUg.,Uiuulin, Neb.
'.fej TA EWiCTSITrJo a WVKSJgBr
CL'CfS VVHHlt- All fl'.f (AUK.
Dcst Cough Syrup. Tu&ioa Good. Ubo
In fllnn C.VI.1 l. .iBt.HHl....
VIRGINIA FARMS for SALE-Good land, good
nelghhljors, xliuols and churches conrenlcnt. Mild,
lifultliy cllni itn, free from extremes of both heat ano
colli. Low in Ices and easy terms. Wrlto for frrn cata
logue. U. II. UIIAKFIN & CO. (Inc.), UlCllilOM), Va
NKW DISCOTMtYi BlvC9
nulclc relief and cures wont
i-ases. llonkof tcMlmonlalsnnil 111 dnjs' treatment
I'roii Ur 11. II, (illKKN'H HONH, Ilox I), Atlanta, (1ft.
Ft
rTNi
m
m
KHAM5IIS OF THIS l'Al'KH
DKSIItINO TO 11UY ANYTHING
ADVKItTJSKl) IN 1TH COLUMNS
HUOUM) INSIST Ul'ON IIAV1NU
WHAT Til BY ASIC l'OIt, Iini'UBlNO
AM. BUIISTITUTKB OH IMITATIONS.
A. N. IC.-I)
1704
vm:x wuitixo to aivi:ktinkkw
plt-iiM- etatu Unit you tuiv tho AdvvrtUo
tutjiil Iu thl paper. , ..