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THE NEBRASKA ADVERTISER
W. W. HAMDICU", J'lililUlmr.
NEMAHA,
- - - NKHItASKA.
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The Avenger ol (lie Horse.
Mrs. Doblcy Goes Ridinp and
Has a New Sensation.
4
4
rpjIK extinction of the horse Ib in
I fi.Itiil.lt. ' said Mr. Dohlev. ''It
IS Mill t tllHUJ Ol U1C HODIC lli'HHi ni
long kllOXVIl HH HUUl's llCHt frlcllll pUSH-
ing Into tin; background."
"I notice they lme to get them out
every once hi awhile when the cables
and trolleys get 0,lt (,f order," said Mrs.
Doblcy. "Then how ean people talk of
this extinction of the horse xxlille driv
ing remains mi jiopular'.'"
"It eannot he compared to the keen
rxhllnratlon that one experience In
n horseless carriage," Mild Doblcy.
"There Ih n sense of power, of eom
lilete control that one. can never know
with a horKc hi front of one."
"Huh Home one been trying to sell you
one of those things?" said Mrs. Dob-
Jey, HU8)lciousIy.
"Oh, no, my d;ar," atlsxvercd her hus
hand, with n guilty look. "Van Hipper
Ih very much IntercKted In thenl and
look me out for a spin the other day.
I tell you It whs great!"
"I am sure I hIiouIi! always prefer fhe
old-faHhloned way of driving," Mild
Mm. Dobley. "It's Mifer and plensant
or In every way than this speeding
against time by machinery. Then they
nre ho conspicuous."
"The carriage that I was looking at
Is mifety itself," mild Dobley. "It linn
been tested up to two thousand to the
square Inch, and ean stand even more.
It Is the (let There automobile that I
have been practicing xxith."
"I should be dreadfully afraid to go
out In one of them without a driver, or
n stecrcr, or whatever you call them."
"It Is an age of progress and we must
keep up with the procession," miIiI Dob
ley. "We are fixing at high pressure,
and the automobile is typical of the
era."
"You have been rending a circular,"
nnid Mrs. Doblcy. "You can ride in one
or those things, if you like, but I'll
titlck to a hansom."
"Mrs. Van Hipper Is learning to op
erate one of those new runabouts," Miid
Dobley, carelessly.
"Mrs. Van Hipper is!"
"Yes; Van Hipper says his wife is
n thoroughly up to date woman, and
that if it became the fashion to ride
camels she'd be the first to gallop
through the park on one. He says she
has some stunning gowns ordered spe
cially for the 'mobe.' "
"Mrs. Van is so faddyl She's always
r.p to anything that Is loud and fast."
"You must admit she gels ahead of
everyone else and gels the credit of
leading the fashion. Mark my words,
llonorn, In a month or two you'll be
just as anxious to automobile as anyone
else. Then you'll simply be following
her lead; that's all!"
"Imitate her! Never! Til take les
sons first and learn to run one of the
things before she does. Did you say
you had oneV"
"Kr not. quite, my dear. I've pnr
tlally arranged with Van Hippcr's
friend Knoekem, who is agent for the
(let There, and he's given me the. use
of one while Tin learning."
"Don't they blow out sometimes'."'
asked Mrs. Dobley.
"It's all the way in which they are
handled," saiil Dobley. "You must un
derstand them first, of course. I've
become quite attached to the machine
I've been operating. It is much hand
Hoiuer than Van Hippcr's."
"Are you sure you can manage it,
John'."'
"I've been operating It alone for two
weeks now," said Dobley, "and T think
may say without boasting that I hae
mastered it. I passed Van Hipper on
lllverslde drive yesterday, and left him
as If he was standing still."
"Did you say Van Hipper was Inter
ested in selling the carriages.','" asked
Jlrs. Dobley.
"No. He's just a friend of Knoekem.
.He admits his 'mobe' isn't in it with
mine. It's a daisy."
"Well, if you are quite sure you can
' manage it, and sure il won't run away
. or blow up or anything, bring it round
this afternoon and take me out.
don't intend to have Mrs. Van Kipper
get ahead'ojC me." " " '
That afternoon Dobley came up to
the door with a dash in his red-wheeled
automobile, and after a convulsive start
it settled at the curb, Mrs. Dobley
beckoned to her husband from the up
per window.
"1 can't leave the carriage," he-said,
calling up from the street.
"Can't you hitch If up?" she asked.
'Won't it stand quiet?"
"My dcai', this 'isn't a lady's horse,"
wild Dobley, nervously, looking at his
watch. "It's only regulated to stand-
for 'DO minutes. They've set it at the
btable. So lnrry down. Jt might start
"without us." '"
.When Mrs. Doblcy came out there $s a&
9
an admiring crowd around the machine
and all the windows In the block had a
group of eager facw.
"I am dreadfully nervous," said Mrs.
Dobley, backing off fiom the machine,
which had begun to xilirate and sput
ter. "Thai's what I wanted to tell "
"Oct In quickly or the blanked thlng'll
start," said Dobley, hustling his wife
in anil falling In after her just an the
carriage roared and atnrtcd forward
with a snort.
"Oh!" cried Mrs. Dobley, seizing her
husband's arm, "let me get out; it will
tlp sure, Don't go so fast!"
"Sit perfectly still, Mrs. Doblcy, and
let go my arm. I want a free hand for
this operating brake. Hut don't over
balance this side in that way. You have
to be careful with these things as with
a rowhnat. One moe too much one
'Wiiy
tt
.'I list then the machine lurched up
toward a lamp post and then seemed to
change its mind and rush in a ztgug
fashion down the street.
"It seems to be waltzing," said Mrs.
Dobley. "Look out for this funeral
coming up. It's unlucky to meet n fu
neral. I know we'll be killed."
"Nonsense, Mrs. Dobley," said Dob
ley, tugging violently at the brake. "I
understand this thing, remember, I
am not going to do any stunts to show
off. I like a nice, steady gait '
"Then, for gracious sake, why don't
you get Into It?" said Mrs. Dobley,
caieblng her biealh as the vehicle just
escaped one of the funeral coaches.
"I will slow up presently," said Dob
ley, who was out of breath himself.
"Don't make me nervous while I have
this brake In my hand. 11 always acts
this way when ft meets nuythlngon the
road. Oets kind of balky."
"I should say it does," said Mrs.
Doblcy, holding on with both hands.
"I'm scared to death. Now It's wab
bling like a rocking horse. Oh h h!"
The automobile, after a few internal
convulsions, suddenly reared and
sniffed, then plunged around a corner,
upsetting an Italian fruit stand and
nearly killing a street sweeper, who
shouted unpleasant things after the
speeding wagon.
"You'll run into something, sure,"
said Mrs. Dobley. "Why did you turn
into this street, anyhow V It's so crowd
ed that it's dangerous!"
''It seemed to turn itself then," said
Dobley, wiping oil' his brow witli his
gloved hand. "Walt till we get out in
the open country. Then you'll see how
delight-"
Suddenly the automobile swerved in
to the gutter and stopped before a sa
loon. "What on earth a re you stoppingherc
for, .loliu Dobley'.' I neer heard of
such a thing!"
"It's acting a little queer to-day; it's
neer stopped here before, I assure
you:
"Well, start it quick and get away.
There is a crowd gathering."
"It's got to stop !i() minutes,'' said
Dohlev. lookiuir at his watch. "You
see, 1 had it set that way to avoid trou
ble. It's easier toman "
The automobile rumbled and then
jerked itself forward for a block with
out leuxing the gutter. A crowd of
small bo.vs followed It, jeering at Mr.
Dobh.x. He grew red in the face and
tugged at the handlebar. Two police
men came over and pushed the carriage
until it was headed for the middle of
the street. It began to move easier.
"Suppose you turn up the next cor
ner and get into the drive," said Mrs.
Dobley; "then we'll hnxo more room."
"All right," said Dobley, hoarsely,
grnhbiug at his hat, which fell over the
side of the carriage. 'Must you sit still
and enjoy yourself."
"If 1 ever net home alive I'll not come
out In this thing again," said Mrs. Dob
ley, almost sobbing, as the carriage
knocked down an old gentleiiian and
sent him spinning like a top against
a soda water sign. "It'sdreadCuI! Why
don't you stop and help that poor old
gentleman'.'"
"1 really haven't time," said
Dobley, in a jerky way, as the automo
bile began to prance and curvet in front
of a brewery wagon which accoitiodat
Ingly got out of the way, the driver
laughing rudely at Dobley.
At the corner the carriage gave two
desperate lurches as though it con
templated turning and then changed its
mind. It continued on up the avenue.
"I thought , on were going to turn
down to the dric," said Mrs. Dobley.
"You Mild j oil would."
"I know It! 1 know it! Can't a man
change his mind once lu awhile? It's
going to going to"
"I don't think you know what it's go
ing to do," said Mrs. Dobley. "I t'-s go
ing to run away just now. Oh! Oh!"
The carriage started forward at a des
perate rate of speed. Hr. vehicle
on the ax'enue began to pujl up and get
out of the waj, as If the automobile
was an engine going to a lire.
"1 tell- .sou- ijils is sport! "'jerked
Doblev. while his hat Hew oft' "in the
rear. "It's like Ih'iug--thls-is.'1
"Wait and get ,x,ojir hat," said Mrs.
Dobley "There is a boy running after
us with it,"
' "Oh, never iui'nd,"'said Dobley. "It's
the thing nowadays- to drive
without a hat." . ' . ' J
Tin' machine hftched violently brick
'ward; tluyi i use on,its front wheels and
hissed, '. t
"It's bucking like a broncho to-day,"
uiid Doblej, whose Jialr looked llkcun
Indian's. "Would you mind staying In
and holding this bnr while 1 get out and
turn the thing around so we can get
on" the avenucjnto a side street V"
"I'll jump out if you mine." Mild Mrs.
Dobley. "Why, there, it's turning beau
Uf filly."
"Yes, this Is a pieasanler street," wild
Dobley in a relievedway, as the auto
mobile turned like a lamb and proceed
ed decorously aldng the asphalt. "L
thought you'd like it better. .Just give
me time, and I'll show jou how to run
this machine."
"This is the first easy breath I've
drawn since, we left the house," said
Mrs. Doblcy, fixing her hat on straight.
"I wish you had your hat. You look aw
fully queer."
"Now watch me turn according to di
rections," said Doblcy, as they reached
the drive. "Hevcrse the brake and re
duce the rnte of speed slightly. The
carriage will answer immediately "
"Oh!" screamed Mrs. Dobley, as the
automobile suddenly began to swing
round in a circle.
"It doesn't do to scream out like that,
llonora," said Dobley, tugging at the
handle-bar. "These things arc sensi
tie "
Suddenly the carriage fettled itself,
and after backing and shying a few
times dashed uhead like a bullet. The.
Dobleys held on for life. Dobley's face
was set and his hair wined in the breeze.
A mounted policeman galloped after
them shouting. Mrs. Dobley wns sob
bing. Once more carriages, horses and
pedestrians drew out of the way of the
Dobley equipage. A dog started to
chase'nfler it, barking loudly. The po
liceman shouted, but all In vain.
"It's running awav!" screamed Mrs.
Dobley. "Help! Help!"
"It's got to stop some time!" said
Dobley, between his teeth. "So long as
folks get out of the wa it doesn't mat
ter. It's exhilarating and healthy to feel
the cool air In one's face. The iew is
supiM-b from this summit. Hcally, Mrs.
Doblcy, I cannot understand what is
the matter"
.lust then the automobile saw a mnss
lc gateway opening into a private
park. A sign read: "No Admittance,
Private Orounds," but the automobile
didn't mind that. It turned daintily
in and rushed across the lawn and over
a llower bed.
"Did you see that sign?" said Mrs.
Dobley, clutching her husband's arm.
"Aic j on mad?"
"Don't believe in signs," said Dob
ley. "Hesidcs, Tin not running this
now. It's the. machine that's going.
Oreat Scott!"
The machine backed itself over the
lawn and dower bed, and then down the
carriageway and into the road.
"Are we going home backward?"
asked Mrs. Dobley. "Oh! if it would
only stop long enough for me to get
out before we are arrested!"
Hut the machine jumped in the air
twice when it readied the gate, and
then continued on its way. It began
to throw itself rnkishly from side to
side, something like the way in which
a trotting horse throws out its legs.
"Where are we going now?" asked
Mrs. Dobley.
"ltlessed if I know!" said Dobley;
"but ,ou ean trust this mobe all right,
llonora. It's a little restixe to-day and
doesn't respond to regulations, but it's
all right when jou gtxe it its head."
"Suppose It doesn't stop, but just
goes on and on," said Mrs. Dobley.
"What on earth xxlll we do? If jou
could only turn It toxvaid home!"
"It will turn when it is good and
ready," said Dobley. "It goes better
xx hen jou humor it. Listen; it's ac
tually chuckling and sputtering as
though it liked it. There's the High
Tone hotel up there on the hill, llonora,
and, by .loxe, there are the Van Kip
pers up on the pin.a."
"Well, look the other way. T don't
want them to see us in this state. My
"hair is coining down and I'm all spat
tered with mud, and as for ym, jou
are a sight!"
"All right, llonora; just look out over
the rixer as though you were enjoying
the scenery and we'll spurt past Do
xou hear them laughing up there? Van
Hipper is about the worst kind of a
fool I know."
"I know they are laughing at us, ."John
Dobley, and 1 don't wonder! My gra
cious! where are , on going? Oh, my!"
Tor the automobile exldently leeog
nled Its friends on the porch of the
High Toneltjitel, and with a magnificent
sw eepaiid an extra dash of speed sprint
ed gracefully along the roadway and
stopped with a llouiish at the main
door of the hotel, where the Dobleys
were greeted with shouts of jo.xous
laughter and some applause. They xxent
home in a hansom. X, Y. Sun.
CuiiiikihKIoii mi ltrcnthliiK.
A boy, 1 1 j ears old, who was told to
xviite all he could about breathing in a
composition, handed in the folloxving:
"Hreath is made of air. We breath
with our lungs, our lights, our Hxerand
k'idue.xs. If it xxnsn't for our bicath we
xwuild die when xxe sleep. Our breath
keeps' the .life n-goin"g through the nose
xx hen we are asleep, . Hoy. that stay in
il room all day should not breathe. They
should wait luitll they gel oiitdoo-rs.
(llrlb kill the breath with corsets' thai
squece the diagram. "01 lis eiln't hollct'
or run like boys because their diagram
is" squeezed too much. If I was a girl
I hafl inthcr be a boy so 1 can run at.d
hbller am Jiax e a grefi. big diu&'i am,"
Cincii'uati Enquire!.
FOOLING THE SUAKS.
a
KccilliiK Hip AVylvfH if the Oueiin
)iinilliiK 'I'll ill Muilc Tlii'iu
Throw Vltn,
This being the s'eason of fish yarns
John Hitehie, who, says the Chicago
Times-Itcraid, has fpr years conducted
most of the shorthand xxork at national
conventions, sprung this story ut the
Tress club. It took the biscuit, so to
speak:
"About the funniest thing I saw," he
said, "was while on a vessel down off
llatteras inlet or some polut near there.
One day we ran Into about forty thou
sand million sharks. There was a lot of
them, and I wondered if they were all
there for me. I do think sharks glxe
GEN. THEODORE
Oen. Schxvnn Is the commander of tho American forcc3 that lmvo Just captured'
the Filipino towns of Cavtto Vlejo, Noveleta and Kosarlo. IIo is an olflcor of thoroR
ular army, nnd oao of tlio larKo number of Germnn gentlemen xvho cast tholr for
tunes xvltli tho arms of tho union during tho civil war. During that xvar Gen. Schxvan
sctvud tho union cnuso xvlth distinguished sallantry und xvas mpldly promoted. Aflor
the xvar ho xvas assigned to vat lous coimnnnds, served as recruiting olllcer and did
duty on tho frontier. Ho la a fearless soldier and able commander.
everybody a sort of creepy fcliiig. We
had some fun with them. There xvas a
passenger on board xxho had had some
experience xxith the beasts before. He
xvent to the cook and got him to make
a lot of dumplings. He came on deck
xxith three or four dozen of them and be
gan tossing them to the sharks. They
snapped them down eagerly. Now you
must bear in mind that these dough
balls in coining from the cook had time
to cool on the outside, so that as they
slipped doxvn the shark's throat he did
not notice anything out of the way. Hut
the inside of the ball xxas like a fiery
furnace, and In a minute after it had
been sxvalloxxed the heat began to act.
1 don't beliexe there is anything hotter
than hot dough, and if not exposed to
BOAT RUN BY
A NoxvarK ynehtsmnn lins Invented a bont run by a windmill. It xvlll mnlco prog
ress right lu the fuco of tho xvind, nnd tho harder tho galo blows tho faster tho craft
will go. Dlteetly undor tho boxv of tho strnngo craft Is n drop keol. Krom tho 3torn
Uses n long vane, HKo those beun on country barns to shoxv thu direction of tho xvind.
Hlght above tho boxv there Is a shaft with u windmill ten Inches In diameter on tho
end. Tho shaft Inclines aft, und runs through xvhat xvould bo tho stornpust until It
strikes beloxv xvutor lino. A live-inch urouullur Is attached to tho end of It. Tho littlo
model wus tried xxith gteat success.
the air it keeps hot. Well, you should
hax e seen those sharks jump and plunge
and throxv themselves. I nexersaxx any
thing like it in my life, and, while 1 am
alxxa.xs opposed to cruelty, it doesn't
seem as if there xvas any harm in doing
anything to a shark."
A Yankee tn Mn in,
A Connecticut man hn received per
.mission from the king of Siaiii to erect
a S2fJO,000 hotel, that xvlll be 1,000 feet
lung and four stones high.
. ; Hoe Icy. .
The Triuue TJjih-Is aiwige of sd'ence.
The Pauper Yes, even the "nilfk of
human kindness" is bterllled. N. V.
ilouhial. , v
THE BOERS AS FIGHTERS.
They I.cnrn to Ilnndlc n Cattn When
Merc InfniilH nml Are
StrmikcrM to I'cnr.
The Hoer has shoxvn himself to be a
first-chiBs fighting man. In fact, tho
Doer xletorles over the British soldiers
are largely accountable for the Eng
lish feeling against them, and in the
bitter xvarfare against the nation the
success of the Doers has been extraordi
nary. Fewer than -HiO Doers resisted 12,000
of the fiercest Zulu xxarriors on Decern
her 1(5, 1833, and .'1,000 natives were left
dead on the field, and this with old flint
locks. Tresidcnt Krugcr, as a boy, helped the-
SCHWAN, U. S. A."
10 Dutchmen hold off 12,000 of the men.
of Moselitkase, then the most renowned,
native captain in South Africa. The
bravery of the men is shoxvn by the at
tack that 135 of them made on 10,000'
Zulus on the Marico river, drixing them
out of the Transvaal.
These are simply better known in
stances of the fighting abilities of the
Hocrs. TCvery man has handled a gun
from infancy. In the old days, when a
Hoer xvas not fighting the fierce natives
he was defending himself from saxagc
beasts. Every Hoer has been trained in
xvarfare. They discovered the method
of laagering their weapons, placing
thern in a holloxv square, which the
Hritish generals have adopted as the
most successful way of fighting the-
A WINDMILL.
natives. The Hocrs haxe shoxvn thein
selxeh masters of strategy, the lesult oC
connstant warfare with a cruel and
treacherous foe.
Tin. "Ih'iu'y lllltle."
The Hoston Pilot tells of an cxhortcr
xxho was holding forth on the common
and solemnly presented to his hearers,
the alternative of "salvation or damna
tionthe King .lames Hible or tho
Douay Hible." Among the audience
xvas a citizen xxho had been imbibing
somewhat frt-cly. This gentleman ap
parently misunderstood the preacher,
'for he jelled: "Hooray for the J)ewey
Hible! " The crojx.d took up the or,y
ami the evhqHerwns compelled to aus
pend, further effort,,
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