THE NEBRASKA ADVERTISER
. W. BANDKKM, l'uhlliher.
NEMAHA, NEHRASKA.
RAIN SONG.
Itnln, flllvcr rain,
Twinkling on the pane.
The carlli lrlnkn softly what It need,
The Kay sky lowcrH like u inll,
The haro twln string the dropM like lieailfl,
And still the silver showers full.
Hnl 11, rain, rain,
Silver dropping mini
Itnln, pearly rain,
Gliding down the pann.
Tho fence rallH have a crystnl edRr,
Tho brimming hpoiiIh pour fountains free,
The flowcni on thu window ledge
Are frenti and hrlKht an they can bo.
Itnln, rain, rain,
I 'early, gilding rain!
Itnln, sparkling rnln,
Shining on the pane.
A bit of blue In yonder sky,
Hwlft signs of clearing all about,
Homo broken clouds drift (iilckly by,
And lo! thu huh In whining out.
Oood-by, rain,
Hhlnlng. sparkling rnln!
Annie Isabel WIIIIh. In St. Nicholas,
l--------
p -.
Barney's Wooing (
By Goorgu Ado.
LIFE became a bunion to Harney
now that Jim and Mac wore mire
that Lizzie, of the Wabash Hoinc-Cook-ing
ruNtaurant, wiih really fond of him.
They professed a lively and unselfish
intercHt In the "love airair," as they
chose to call it. Harney ttied every
method of discouraging their pcrsceti
tioiiH, One ilay he would listen in smil
ing good nature, believing that they
would "let up" on him when they per
ceived that he was not annoyed. Next
day he would try the policy of ignoring
everything they said. At another time
Ida wrath would get the better of his
judgment and lie would curse them
roundly. In each case they continued
to talk about Lizzie and make plans for
thu wedding. Harney believed they
were overdoing the joke am! told them
so. In return Mac complimented Har
ney on his magnillcent pretense of in
difference and then assured 1dm that
"all thu world loves a lover."
Harney had threatened to remain
awny from the Wabash Home-Cooking
restaurant altogether, but as he had
purchased a commutation ticket ($.'1.50
for $3) and it was not yet half punched
out he was compelled to go there now
and then. .Tim or Mac went with him
occasionally and derived much joy from
.watching Harney color when Lizzie
snid: "You're quite a stranger here
lately."
When they went to the restaurant un
accompanied by Harney they carried
messages from him and told Lizzie that
hc had captivated him. Lizzie was
amused and flattered.
"He's an awful nice little fellow, any
way," said Lizzie.
"And he thinks you are a perfect
Hebe," said ,11m.
Lizzie shifted her gum and was in
doubt.
"He says lie wants to take you away
from this life and put you inn Hat," said
Mac. "Do you think you could marry
that man, Lizzie?"
"Von bet i could, but that little fellow
ain't got the nerve to ask a woman to
marry him. He's awful bashful,
ain't he?"
"That 1b a mere affectation, Lizzie,"
said Jim. "You put him In a parlor and
lie's a bold man."
"Lizzie, will you tell us thu truth if
we ask you a certain question?"
"Uh-huh." (Affirmative.)
"Honestly?"
"Sure!" (Chewing her gum delight
edly.) "Did this friend of ours ever make
love to you? Did he ever come right
out and tell you what liu thought of
you?"
"Well, for the Lord's sake! You ain't
got your nerve with you or nothiu', have
you? Uvea if he had do you think I'd
go an' bint about it to Ids friends?"
"Ah-h-h-h, Lizzie, you are eoncealing
something. You love this man. 1 can
see that. Don't deny it."
"Me? Well, say, honest to oh, go
on! You're two kldders."
Tfien they would go bnek to Harney
with fictitious messages from Lizzie.
One evening they werq taking their
ease under the gas chandelier and read
ing an evening paper (fairly divided
into threu parts) when .Mae gave a sud
den exclamation and said:' "Hy George,
I've been expecting it. You can't keep
those things quiet, .Mm. You take a
rumor of' that kind and it sort of passes
from one to nnothcr and gets into the
literavy clubs, and then the next thing
you know it comes out In a newspaper."
.Tim Is it in regard to thu matter
we've been talking about; you know,
the betrothal?
(Harney gives a low moan, but does
not look up from his reading.)
Mac Well, Til rend it to you (pre
tends to read): "Society lit afl parts of
our cultured metropolis is greatly ex
cited over the report of a cuniing nup
tial'agrceineut between two. of thu so-cial.hl-kls
of thu south side. Thu
groom is a propiinent young-(lerman
who recently caused a sensation by ap
pearing in Michigan uvenuu wearing a
evfiuit of ulutAoj. -The bride-to-be
Is mi attractive brunette of tbe 160
pound class, who is noted for her con
versational powers and her disregard
of thu conventionalities. Her daily re
ceptions at the Wabash Homo-Cooking
restaurant attract the entire smart set
between l'cck court ami the river. It
is said that the happy couple will live in
a teuton the Jake front."
Jim It's simply wonderful how the
newspapers get on to these things. We
thought wu were keeping that a secret,
didn't we?
Harnes For heaven's snke.arc we go
ing to have another of these idiotic ses
sions? Jim That reminds me, Harney, that
in an idle moment to-day 1 dashed off a
few little verses that will appeal to you
in particular. Do you want to hear
them?
Harney I do not!
Jim (taking paper from IiIh pocket)
Of course, I don't claim much for
them, Swinburne might Have taken
the same material and made a great
deal more out of it, but I flatter myself
that this little thing lias the note of
sincerity in it. The song may be poor,
but it comes from my heart.
Mac I hope you will read your
verses to us. For one, I am very fond of
poetry.
Jim Since you insist, 1 will read it.
The subject of this little thing is "Liz
zie." (Heads.)
The catercH.s of Wabash avo
Ih always blithe and busy.
Messed the mortal who can have
lady friend like Lizzie.
Harney, the pulsing cavalier,
All love-sick, hot nnd dizzy,
Trembles with unremitting fear
Lest he should lose his Lizzie.
Her figure Is a Spartan mold,
Her hair Is rather frizzy,
Yet, malden-IIke, and never bold,
Is palpitating Lizzie.
When morning sunlight Hoods the street
She chlppery cries: ' "fls he!"
And hungrily the lovers meet
Our Iiarncy and his Lizzie.
Mac (applauding loudly) Good
work! (Nudging Harney.) (Jo, on
Harney, (lo.lim) mi'II have to read
that over again. He didn't hear you
that time.
(Harney sighs heavily and continues
to read.)
Jim I hate to talk about myself,
but 1 do think I rather caught the
spirit of the thing. Of course you'll
have to make some allowance for po
etic license. Take it in the fourth
verse, where I have her say: " 'Tis he!"
or "Tlzzie," to rhyme with "Lizzie."
WHIM HE SAW TIIK PICTURE ON THE
MJTTON.
Now, as a matter of -fact, she would
probably say: "It's him!" but 1 couldn't
put that in, bceausu it wouldn't rhyme
with "Lizzie." I'll tell you, there are
mighty few people who realize how
much trouble us poets have.
Harney Say, I'd like to have a short
hand reporter come up here some night
and take a verbatim report of the
inaunderlngs of you two blithering im
beciles. Then I'd like to take that re
port and ille it away keep it until you
have become old enough to acquire dig
nity and a sense of the proprieties;
then I'd like to bring it out and read
it to you aloud, so that you might realize
what an infernal chump a man can
be when he tries to be funny all the
time.
Mac I don't see why you should say
any thing like that, Harney. We ai
ways spoke well of you.
The climax to the Lizzie affair came
when Jim nnd Mae found a cabinet pho
tograph of Harney in the bureau drawer
and had a copy of it put on a button
for Lizzie. The button which they or
dered was as large as an oyster cracker
and cost 50 cents. It seemed a large
sum to waste in a mere pleasantry, but
they paid it. Mae took the button and
presented it with Harney's compli
ments. She promised to wear it over
bur heart, although she was not certain
as to the exact location of that useful
organ.
Next morning the entire commuiiu
went to the Wabash lloiue-Cookingres-turant
for breakfast, Jim and Mac
having promised on their sacred honor
to make no reference, direct or indi
rect, to any amatory relations between
Harney and Lizzie.
They were at the table when Lizzie
came up, directing toward Harney a
cherubic smile of welcome. Harney
looked up and noticed the button. As
much of It! in Us could be seen above his
collar became the color of a peony,
and lie swore -gaspingly under his
breath.
"Much obliged," said Lizzie. "We've
got some awful ' nice strawberries,
gents." " .
, Harney d'jd not speak during break
fast.. He whs, trembling with wrath.
'Ihp
After breakfast he had his check
punched out of the ticket and hurried
away without waiting for them.
"I think we'd better stop this busi
ness, unless we want a case of assault
and battery," said Jim.
"I think so, too," said Mac Chicago
Record.
WHALES IN THE HUDSON.
fllaile the People or Alliaiiv Think (lis
World Was Co in I ii k; to
mi Knil.
The winter of 1810-7 in tin- colony of
Itcnsselaerswyek was remarkably long
and severe, and the river liaing closed
on November and remained frozen for
four months. A very high freshet re
sulted in the spring of 1(517, which de
stroyed a number of horses in their
stables; nearly carried away the fort,
which was located on what Is now
steamboat square, and in Hided consid
erable other damage in the colony. "A
certain fish of considerable size, snow
white in color, round in the body and
blowing water out of its head," made
at the same time his appearance, stem
ming the impetuous Hood. What is
portended, "God the Lord only knew."
All the inhabitants were lost in won
der, for "at the same instant that this
Hsh appeared to us, we had the ilrst
thunder and lightning this year."
In those days of superstition every
event out of the ordinary was inva
riably credited to supernatural agen
cies. The public astonishment had
scarcely subsided, when still another
monster of the dec), estimated at -10
feet in length, was seen, of'u brown
color, having tins on his back and eject
ing water, after the manner of the first
strange visitor, high in the air. Some
seafaring people, "who had been to
Greenland," now pronounced the mon
ster a whale. Intelligence was short
ly after received that it had grounded
on an island at the mouth of the Mo
hawk, and the people, whose supersti
tious fears did not always stand in the
way of turning an honest penny, made
haste to secure the prize, which was
forthwith subjected to the process of
roasting, in order to extract its oil.
Though large quantities were obtained,
yet so great was the mass of blubber,
the river was covered with grease for
three weeks afterward and the oil
market was completely glutted. As the
Hsh decayed the stench was perceptibly
offensive "for two (Dutch) miles to lee
ward." The whale which had first
ascended the river, stranded on his re
turn to sea, on an island some II) miles
from the mouth of the river, near which
four others grounded the same year.
Albany Argus.
ROTHSCHILD'S RED EAR.
Screen lit, the Great Artist, Absolute
ly Refused te Tone Its Color
Dun it.
"A portrait painter can't afford to be
entirely independent unless he has a
tremendous vogue," remarked an artist,
recently. "I remember when I first
went to I'aris. Sergeant, who is proba
bly the greatest master in his special
field that America has ever produced,
was just beginning to attract atten
tion, lie had painted a portrait of his
preceptor, Durrow, and thu stir it cre
ated led to his getting a commission
from Huron Rothschild. It was his first
big job, but he went about it with ex
actly the same nonchalance that char
acterizes him at present.
"During the last sitting, when the
picture was receiving its final touches,
it chanced that one of the baron's ears
became unusually red, a circumstance
probably due to the heat of the room.
Sergeant seized on it at once as a good
bit of color and made the painted ear
redder, if anything, than the original.
When ilothscliild inspected theportrait
lie was greatly pleased.
"Hut of course,' he said, 'you will
tone down that left ear?'
" 'Oh, no.' replied thu painter, prompt
ly. 'I think I shall leave it just as it is.
I rather like that red.'
"The banker was astonished and very
angry, and, while he paid for the can
vas, he never hung it. Of course, the
incident raised a laugh and the artist's
obstinacy was admired in bohemia, but
it really did Sergeant a great deal of
harm and was one of the things that
eentuully determined him to move to
London." X. (). Times-Democrat.
She MIkIiI Have Known.
Mr. Puck I see there's a judge in St.
Louis who says there are times when
a man is justified in slapping his wife.
Mrs. Peck Yes, and I suppose you
agree with him, don't you?
"1 should say not! if I held such a
view as that do you suppose you would
have escaped up to this "
His last words were drowned by thu
noise lie made while tumbling down the
stairs leading to thu street entrance
Chicago Evening News.
Untie Dlirert'iit.
A strange answer was recently given
by a boarding school girl to the ques
tion: "Did Martin Luther die a natural
death?" "No," Mie replied; "he was
excommunicated by a bull." Cincin
nati Knquirer.
Smoking by AViiiiicn.
It has been discovered through the
gift of a cigarette ease by Queen Vic
toria to one of her daughters that her
majesty does not disapprove of sniok
ing as a ft'iuiuiue accomplishment, .
HANDY GARDEN MARKER.
How lo Make, l. Device That In Oper-
ate it by Hand anil Dors IIh Work
lo I'erfeetlon.
A light marker for making garden
rows, to be run by hand, may be made
on thu plan shown in the illustration.
Thu bar, a, is a strip of board about
four inches wide and six feut long.
Fastened to. the center is a tongue, b,
with wooden braces to keep it firmly
nt right angles witli a. At each end of
the strip, a, is a detachable runner.
The center runner, c, is attached to the
tongue. It will be explained later.
One of the runner attachnientsissliown
more plainly at f. It consists of a
short, wide runner firmly fastened to
a strip of board 5)a feet long. The
GARDEN MARKER IN DETAM
strip lias two bolts with thumb-screws
so it may lie fastened anywhere along
the strip, a. Thu strip, a, has bolt holes
two inches apart, along its entire
length.
The runners may be set to mark rows
as wide as four feet apart, and as nnr
row as four inches, and between these
extremes, at any distance in an even
number of inches. The outside run
ners in the illustration are set just
even witli the ends of the strip, a. The
rows are then three feet apart. Hut
each runner may be set at least a foot
farthVr from the center, by means of
thu bar shown at f, and still hip enough
to fasten. When the rows are to be
less than 2y3 feet apart the runners
must change places witli each other
put d at c's end and e at d's end. Then
thu rows may be narrowed down to
four inches.
The advantage of having the center
runner on the tongue is this: Hy rais
ing and lowering the tongue, as need
ed, all the runners may be made to
touch the ground nil the time, even
though the ground is uneven. This
marker is made of light material
throughout, so it is no task to drag it
along witli one hand. Orange Judd
Farmer.
HORTICULTURAL NOTES.
No matter when transplanting is
done care must be taken to keep the
roots moist.
Hury the old bones nnd the old boots
nnd shoes under the roots of the grow
ing fruit trees.
A little trimming every year is far
better than a heavy trimming once in
three or four years.
Honeineal and potash in some forms
are staple fertilizers for any kind of
fruit trees or plants.
Flowers may not add visible dollars
and cents to the bank account, hut they
add immensely to the comforts of life.
I'a ok I ii f Krult Tor Market.
Those who ship fruit to market may
not be familiar with the methods of
handling fruit by the carrier and mer
chant. Fruit started from the farm
may be apparently well and properly
packed and yet arrive in the market
in poor condition. Thu packing of thu
fruit for market requires judgment and
experience. There is something to
learn and every grower should give
some time to securing information in
that direction. One of the most impor
tant points is to have the fruit uniform
and of the same quality at the bottom
of the basket or box as at the top.
Huyers always make close examination.
Rural World.
New Crops for the Sllo.
Oats and peas can be ensilaged suc
cessfully, and the same should be true
of clover. It is probable that crops
rich in protein are more difficult to hit
right than corn. If too green, or too
wet or too dry, says Rural New York
er, the protein crop is probably more
susceptible to rot or mold than the
more carbonaceous corn crop. I would
not hesitate to ensilage clover but I
would be careful to cut it just at full
bloom witli no dew or water on it. If the
wagon could not keep up with the
mowing machine the clover should be
thrown into heaps before wilting.
Proper i'lieUliiK- of Mutter.
It is well, if one can, to have one
churning large enough to fill a crock
or tub, and pack the butter at once
upon working it, but if this is not pos
sible, do not pack at all until enough
butter is at hand to fill whatever is to
be packed; that is for shipping butter.
It is well always to pack the butter and
cover it as nearly airtight as possible,
but if packing in a tub to ship, do
not put it into the shipping tub Until
enough is at hand to UU it. Farmers'
Uuvlew;..
BUTTER-MAKING HINTS.
Uverj- I'art of (lie Operation, from-
thc .MllklitK U the I'aeklnu,
Itctitilre Great Cnre.
The ability to make good butter is-,
worth money to thu farmer's wife in.
these days when so much of an inferior
quality is thrust upon the market..
Fvery part of the work requires care
and cleanliness, from the time the milk
ing is done in thu barnyard to the mo
ment when the golden rolls arc deliv
ered to the city customers. Use only
tlie best quality of table salt, the
amount required usually being one
ounce to a pound of butter. Work it
just enough to take out every particlo
of buttermilk, and keep it in a cool
place to insure its keeping perfectly
fresh.
A great deal depends upon the care
of the crocks, cans or pans in which the
milk is kept. They should be washed
as soon as possible after being used,
and kept clean and free from rust..
Hlnse llrst with cold water, then wash
thoroughly inside and outside witli hot
water, in which enough pea'rline has
been dissolved to make a good suds.
Give particular attention to the scamn .
if you use cans. Finish by rinsing with
scalding water, wipe dry, then set them
right side up in the fresh air and sun
shine and they will be clean and sweet
It is an error to turn them upside down
on a table, or to hang them in that po
sition on a stake, for hot air or steam
rises and has no way of escape, conse
quently condenses in the enns and
causes them to sour. A great deal of "
milk is tainted in this way. A rusty
can should never be used, as it imparts-,
a foreign flavor to the milk.
If you have a running spring of clear,
cold water have a little house built over -it,
and set your milk cans in the water..
It is an ideal place for a dairy, and it
will cost very little to build the spring
house Prairie Farmer.
THE AGE OF A COW.
With tliu Alt! of the Three Dlnnrniiiit
Here (J t veil It Can Enslly He
Told by the Teeth.
By looking at the teeth of cows of
which one knows thu age, he may soon
become well acquainted witli their ap--pearancc.
While it is impossible to tell
exactly the age of a cow when over five-.
THE COW'S TEETH.
years old, still one may judge near
enough for all practical purposes. If
a cow's mouth presents an eight-year-
old appearance, it does not make much
difference if she is nine or ten. She
will, in all probability, last as long as:
the average eight-year-old cow. Heal
ers will often insist Hint the ten-year-old
mouth here illustrated belongs to .
the seven-year-old cow; but that is no
reason why the buyer should be de
ceived. He enn easily learn for him
hclf. ,T. Grant Morse, in Hural New
Yorker. CULTIVATION COUNTS.
Smnll HolilliiKN, Diversity of Crops
ami I'lrNt-CliiNN Products .VI like
Farmers Wealth)-.
For several years prices have, quite
generally, been uiireinunerative and
production consequently limited, says
a writer in the North American Review.
Fanners have refrained from hiring
help and have contented themselves
with what could be produced by thu
family. I know of no farm that is .
yielding to its fullest capacity; yet
some are producing more than tw'ice
as much per acre as adjoining farms
equally good. To illustrate: A farm
of 200 acres, lC.o of which are improved,
received careful treatment and above
the average condition of farms in t he
vicinity, has a cash income of from
?000 to $700 yearly as the result of the
work of two men. An adjoining farm
of 40 acres, with the same labor, aver
ages about $500. A river farm of 40
acres, with a little more work, .'ives
about $1,000. Small holdings, diversttv
of crops and profitable prices will more,
than double our production without
any increase in the area of improved'
land. France, with nine times our pop-
illation to the square mile, produced"
over eight bushels of wheat per capita
for the flvp years ending with 1807.
Our production for the same period was.
but little more than seven bushels per
capita.
-tfi 7Lo year) ojL
If maalti erf ' pie yPajT)
Ill setting out trees dig. j,,, !,.,,,...
enough to stretch the roots oiit full
length and but little deeper than' the
tmi is set in the hole Western l'low-
1UUU,
f
X
r
y.