THE NEBRASKA ADVERTISES"
BANDEIIH, Pnbllihtv.
NEMAHA,
NEBRASKA
ONE WAY TO BE LONESOME.
Mnrk Twnlit'M Heclnc for I'crnnnn
Who Deftlre Thnt Conilltlon.
As Mnrk Twain has aptly remarked:
"Ho good and you will bo lonesome."
This epigram exactly fltH the case of
a certain well-known clubman, who
lives in the extreme west end of Wash
ington. Mr. Blank loves the good
things of life and incidentally the pleas
urc and case of his club. Now, it is not
necessary to say that Mr. Blank's wlfo
approves of her husband's love for tlio
good, but she does not enthuse over
his pronounced partiality for club life.
One night Mr. Blank chanced to wit
ness a small gaiuc in which one of his
personal friends was a participant.
Toward the close of the evening the
piny became fast and furious, and t no
limit was lost sifoht of altogether.
Now, it so happened that the friend
of Mr. Blank had, from frequent
draughts of brandy and soda, become
romewhut oblivious to the exact state
of his pile, which had dwindled until
only a few chips remained to him. The
last pot assumed, as all the last pots
will, a rather magnified and abnormal
size, and the friend of Mr. Blank found
lumself considerably shy. The game
being strictly a cash one, he borrowed
Ids shortage from Mr. Blank and gave
bis "I. O. U" which Mr. Blank pocket- J
((! without reading.
Owing to the lateness of the hour at
which Mr. Blank retired ho did not
arise at his accustomed hour. His wifo
was up before he opened his eyes, and,
as wives will sometimes do, she had
relieved Mr. Blank of his small change,
and Incidentally the "I. 0. U." The hit
ler was lite cause of the trouble which
awaited .Mr. Blank upoii hlsnwakculng.
"My dear," said Mrs. Blank, "were
you playing poker at the club last
night?"
"No, certainly not," replied her
sleepy consort.
"Well, then, what does this mean?"
ami Mrs. l!in$ handed her husband
thneec of potior.
I "Confound it," remarked Mr. Blank,
nn he explained the affair to some
friends the other day, "do you know
that idiot had made the 'I. 0. U.' ou
in JiIr own name and signed mine at
io6iToifi, Tim! T never noticed it.
Thnt is what comes of a man doing it
friend a good turn, lie never gels his
rewnrd, and now my wife believes that
1 am n confirmed poker player and
that 1 have been giving her a jolly nil
the time. But that is not the worst of
it 1 have had to remain at home of
menings ever since, besides buying Her
nnex.tr" winter lint." Albany Argus.
A DIFFERENCE IN PRICE.
Tlic .Member of the I,elMlntnre KIhob
to I2tt-UNH IIIh SurprUe.
Four or five Washington correspond
ents were telling stories of their ex
periences with statesmen, local and na
tional, when one of them from a state
in the southwest swung into line with
something a little out of the ordinary.
"I was doing the legislature," lie be
gan, "for n syndicate of newspapers,
with some free lance work on the side,
and was making n potful of money out
of It. During the course of my minis
trations I discovered a case of vote sell
ing by a rural representative that was
astonishing for its stnallness. I couldn't
$-1.50 or thereabouts. After exhausting
nil my sources of information I thought
I would try the member himself, and
see how guileless he was on a little
thing like that. I didn't dare ask him
his price, but I did dare to talk about
it, and 1 went at him directly.
" 'Say, young feller,' he said after I
had talked awhile, 'how much do you
git fer a news item like that?"
" 'It's a pretty big thing for me,' T re
plied persunslvely, 'and I'll get $25 lor
the story if I can get it complete.'
'"How much?' he asked with an
eager air.
" 'Twenty-five dollnrs.' T repeated.
" 'Gee whizz, I'd like to have your
job.'
" 'Why? It isn't nn easy one. Not so
easy as yours, anywny
" 'P'r'aps it ain't,' he said slowly, 'but
it pays better.'
" MIow do you mean?'
" 'Why, you git $25 fer jist telling
about what I done for i-Q dollars.'
"The syntnx mightn't hnve been per
fect, pcrhnps," concluded the speaker,
"but the fact was, and thnt was what I
wanted." "Washington Star.
Iu Plow for the Xcvn.
Admiral Makarof, of the Russian
nnvy, has invented a species of ice plow
oapnble of breaking through ice from
32 to even 20 inches thick. The experi
ments hnve proved so satisfactory that
the government has given order for the
immediate construction of two vessels
of 10,000 horse power each, armed with
these plows, by means of which it is ex
pected to keep' not only the River Neva,
but also the various Muscovite ports
open to navigation throughout the win
ter. The majority of Russin's ports and
naval arsennls are ice bound during
more tjinn four months of the yenr.
Chicago Chronicle. . . ,
And out what the member -go but 1 1 statcs tcrrll'orIes
wouldn't have been much, for the whole d u buildings for the
matter at issue wasn't wortli more thnn t,t,aL i ! t,.t a o
THE OMAHA EXPOSITION.
It PromisoB to Bo an Artistic and
Financial Success.
In
flu Grouping anil l)NlfcN of the
Main IIuIIiIIiium It Will Differ
front All former
Achievement.
(Special Omaha (NeD.) Letter.
Your correspondent visited Oinahn
for the second time to-day. His first
visit was In 1807, when the western
terminus of the Rock Island road
landed passengers a little west of Dcs
Moines, la., and the old Concord stage
was the only means of passage on to
Omaha. To be sure, the old Hannibal
fc St. .Toe road, in connection with the
river bouts between St. Joseph and
Omaha, afforded an easier means of
reaching the Nebraska metropolis.
There was then no railroad bridge at
Omaha, and the incoming passengers
had to be ferried across the river. The
great transcontinental line, the Union
Pacific, was then tinder construction.
Its material and rolling stock hnd to be
transported on barges up the river.
When President Lincoln designated
Omaha as the eastern terminus of the
Union Pacific line, he fixed the destiny
of this city. And I remember that the
people here were exultant and confi
dent that this act of Old Abe, consum
mated after a personal inspection of the
topography of competing sites along
the river, would put Omaha on the
lit frit VfWlfl in fflff lllin nnrl mtit'n ti nl4 1
inatelv (he ,.- v bftrwn ,, .
en go and San Francisco. Tills prcdic
tion has been realized. Three bridges
now span the river at this point and 14
railways enter the gates of Omaha.
When I first saw Omaha the population
was estimated at 15,000. To-day ten
times thnt number is claimed, while the
population of Nebraska has grown to
a million and a quarter.
At thnt time Omaha was an outpost
of the frontier. To-day there are 15.
000,000 people west of the river. Ne
braska had been admitted to statehood
u few months prior to my visit and,
with the exception of Kansas. Texas.
California and Oregon, all the terri
tory west of Omaha was unorganized
fr riiil&r J
UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT BUILDING.
as regards statehood, while to-day every
division is represented in congress save
the territories of New Mexico and Ari
zona, and so rapid has been the devel
opment of the west thnt the term
"frontier" hns become a misnomer and
the arts and industries of civilization
have pushed out to the Rockies and be
yond. There hns been no fit illustration of
the marvelous progress made by the
states west of the Mississippi river dur
ing the past 25 years. True the Colum
bian fair gave evidence in slight meas-
eral statcs, and an inadequate repre
sentation of the wealth, products, re
sources and civilization of the vast re
gion west of the Mississippi has yet
to be made.
1 had been told thnt the Trans-Mis-sitfippl
International exposition, which
is billed to open its gates at Omaha
next June promises to be second only
to the World's fnir, but I must con
fers 1 wns somewhat skeptical on this
point. I took n trolley car to the
grounds, which are about V3 miles
north of the center of the city, but
within the corporate limits. I found
come of the inrge buildings nenrlng
completion. They are ranged east and
west nlong either side of a basin
nearly half a mile long nnd nbout 350
feet wide. At the west end this
basin spreads out into n three-lobed
lake, facing which is the United States
government building, which the eon-
tractor is renrlng with all possible dis
patch, the winter wenther being favor
able. This building, by the wny, is
to be 500 feet long and the height to
pinnacle will be 178 feet. Its cost is
estimated at $50,000. At the east end
of the basin there is an immense hcml-
ijyclo stairway leading to a viaduct
across Sherman nvenue, which divides
the mnin tract of the exposition from
n beautiful plat of about CO acres,
wherein nre being erected the various
state buildings, the horticulture, npiary
and other buildings of lesser degree.
This tract overlooks the river and, be
ing high and sightly, affords a mag
nificent view of the river nnd the Iown
bluffs beyond. At the northern extremi
ty begins the section devoted toamusc
ments of concessionaires and over to the
west, being north of the rectangle
where stand the large buildings, is the
main section devoted to concession
aires. . Beyond thiB will be the railroad
i n rn nf ivrclnrn Hnrnlnnmnnl luif Tnnnv
I . JJ L.l 4ttlMil1lb JL HOUUIO I1UUI HJC OWV
tcrminnl station nnd the Transporta
tion building, the vast array of farm im
plements, the irrigation nnd sugar beet
farms, the horticultural section and the
up-to-dnte farm, together with athletic
fields, a racing course, fine stock .stnbleV
etc. There are 200 acres under fence.
At this time, however, the most in
teresting point on the exposition
grounds Is the main tract upon which
the groat buildings are tinder construc
tion. One point to be noticed is the suc
cess of the designers in keeping free
from the influence of other expositions.
The plan of grounds, the grouping nnd
design of buildings, and the scheme of
color, I am told, ore all wholly different
from any former achievement. The
buildings are to be given the tint of old
ivory, the staff work being colored to
produce that effect. Imposing columns
of long colonnades, beautiful porticos
facing the main court, bas-relief sculp
ture adorning the pediments of great
buildings, all wrought in staff, will con
tribute to the splendor of the completed
architecture. Visitors going by bont
the length of the basin, from the United
States GovcrnmcnAnillding on the west
to Sherman avenue on the cast, will pass
all the main buildings, to-wlt: On the
south line, the Fine Arts, Liberal Arts,
Arch of States, Manufactures and Audi
torium buildings, and on the north side
the Agriculture, Administration build
ing, Mines and Miring building, nnd the
Machinery and Electricity building.
The cnnal is to be spanned by four
graceful bridges, one of which is to
remain after the exposition closes.
As 1 stood on the great viaduct con
necting the two main tracts of the ex
posUionj this query naturally forced
Itneif upon my mind: What will this
vast display of architecture cost, and
how is it possible that funds sufficient
to complete the work laid out can be
raised in a section of country which but
two years ago, 1 was told down east,
had suffered Immeasurably from
drought and business depression no less
disastrous to the west than to the east?
I was not prepared to believe that an
exposition planned on a scale so gi
gantic could be pushed to a successful
issue under conditions which to my
mind were far from favorable. Seek
ing information on this point, I was
told by one of the chief officials that the
total cost of construction may not
reach a sum exceeding a million and a
half, and that nearly $1,000,000 is in
sight, to say nothing of the revenues
from concessionaires, gate receipts and
appropriations from the various states
which will participate. The people of
Omaha alone subscribed over half a mil
lion dollnrs to this enterprise, nnd 1 am
told that a bankers' committee scanned
the subscription list, and adjudged it
95 per cent. good. At any rate, there
has been no cessation of work for lack
of money, nnd a meeting of the direc
tors, held a few days ago to consider
the financial question, reported yester
day that the last call for funds has
been responded to most liberally. Oma
ha as a municipality will contribute
about $100,000, the county of which
Omnbn is the seat voted $100,000 in
bonds. Nebrnska voted $100,000, the
United States government $200,000 to
cover exhibits and building; Illinois,
$-15,000. The Iowa legislature is now
cui'sldering an nppropration of equal
size, and Montana, Utah, New Mexico,
South Dakota, California, Louisiana,
Missouri, Minnesota nnd Wisconsin are
all coming into line, while interest in
other states is such that there can be no
question of unanimity.
Last spring the state durtment, by
direction of President mcKinley. ex
tended invitations to foreign gov.-rn-ments
to participate in the exposition.
Not n few favorable responses have
been received. China, Mexico, Cannda,
Venezuela, Costa Rica and Bolivia are
among the foreign nations that will
send exhibits. Articles imported from
foreign countries for the sole purpose
of exhibition, upon which there shall
be a tariff or customs duty, will be
admitted free of payment of duty, cus
toms fees or charges. Regulations gov
erning entries of foreign goods in
tended for exhibit at the Trans-Mississippi
and International exposition
hnve been issued by the secretary of the
treasury and transmitted to the United
Stntcs consuls throughout the world.
The government mint will issue the
medals of award and the postmaster
general has ordered a series of post
age stamps, eight denominations, com
memorative of the holding of this ex
position. How nbout the attendance? This is
a vital point. When I was told that
the estimated figure is 2,500,000 of ad
missions, I could not see it. Edward
Rosewater, manager of the department
of publicity and promotion, told me thnt
as a matter of course the bulk of the
attendance is expected from the ter
ritory within a radius of 300 to 500
miles, and thnt the census population
of Nebraska and states touching Its
borders is something like 0,000,000.
From the railroad people I learn thnt
Sill signs point to an enormous attend
ance. Agents ot the exposition in every
part of the country send reports of this
nnture. The people out here think that
if business conditions continue to im
prove the question of a large attend
ance throughout the five months of the
exposition will never vex the mannge
ment. J. B. II.
A nuiiHtnn Triinnlntloii or Dickon.
The quizzically expanded metaphors
and idiomatic, slangy expressions in
the sprightly comicnl parts of the book
("Dombey and Son") hnve sometimes,
naturally, proved too hard nuts for the
honest foreigner to crack. A ludicrous
instance of such a fiasco occurs in chap
ter 2, where Mr. Chick's mntrimonial
bickerings with his better half form
the theme of our inimitable humorist's
sportive nnd nllegorical muse. "Often,
when Mr. Chick seemed beaten, he
would suddenly make a start, turn the
tables, clatter them about the ears of
Mrs. Chick, and enrry all before him."
The Russian rendering of this sen
tence, which I translnted verbatim,
runs: "Often, when Mr. Chick seemed
beaten, he would start up from his seat,
catch hold of the chair, make a clatter
close to the ears of his astonished
spouse, nnd fling about everything that
came ready to hand." Well, indeed,
might the elegant nnd ladylike Louisa
show astonishment nt such emphatic
contributions to the debate. Notes and
Queries.
Got Hlil of (he I.nnfern.
"There's nothing so good as con
genial company, and few things worso
than uncongenial associates," re
marked Capt. R. J. Smith to n Sun re
porter. "1 remember once when I wao
young a lot of fellows used to hang
around my place that were not the
most desirable companions imagin
able. One day a friend said: 'Do you
want to get rid of those fellows?' I
baid that I did, if I could do it without
offending them. lie suggested a plan,
and the result was I provided myself
with nn English history, a Bible and
several other books I don't guess those
fellows ever heard of before. The
next time they came in I began rending
aloud to them from the books. It wasn't
long before they began to look at one
another, and finnlly one said, as they
all got up: 'Well, Jim, we'll drop in
again after awhile.' Whenever they
dropped in I always pulled my books,
and soon they were afraid to come at
all." Paducah (Ivy.) Sun.
The Defendant' IMentllnj;.
In a rural district in the west of Eng
land there lived an eccentric old farm- .
cr, who was continually appearing be- !
fore the magistrates for allowing his
cattle to stray on the highway. During
the hearing of his case for a similar of- j
fense upon the last occasion he elicited '
much laughter from the presiding "gen-
tlemen on the bench" nnd others. The
chairman, addressing the defendant,
nsked: "Do you plead guilty or not
guilty?" "Weil, yer 'onor, I expects
us I be guilty, but don't be too hard on
a reg'lar customer." Spare Moments.
Tciiin Xew.
Texas Man (on a visit east) Hullo,
Jake! Glad t' see ,ve. When d'.ye leave
Texas?
Jake Las' week.
Texas Man When I left there was
two claimants fer the office of mayor
in our town. Is th' question settled
yit?
Jake Yep.
Texas Man W'lch one is dead? N.
Y. Weekly.
Uni on lllrille.
Little Fannie McGinnis was in the
parlor while her sister Birdie was en
tertaining Mr. Masher, so the latter
patted Fannie on the head and said:
"Come, little pet, its time your e3'es
were closed in sleep."
"Guess not," replied Fannie, "mam
ma told me to keep my eyes wide open
when you nnd Mr. Mnsher were to
gether." Tammany Times.
A Home Thrust.
"No," said the rich old bachelor, "I
never could find time to marry."
"Vew," replied tlic young woman
with the sharp tongue, "I am not sur
prised to henr you say so. It certainly
would have taken a good while to per
suade any girl to have you." Chicago
Daily News.
MltlKiitlnc Woe.
He Can't I do something to do-y up
those tears?
She You might dry them with a
piece of silk.
"Piece of silk?"
"Yes, piece of silk, 22 yards, double
breadth, with all the trimmings."--.
Tammany Times.
Safe.
"I've been thinking seriously of get
ting married,"
"Oh, well, you are safe, then."
"What do you mean?"
"Why, if a sensible fellow like you
thinks really seriously about it he'll de
cide not to." N. Y. World.
Gloomy Antidilution,,,
She 1 have been elected treasurer of
the club.
He Goodness! I suppose I'll be con
tinually drawing checks to balance tin
cash. Town Topics.
NAMING A TOWN.
It Whm Not Such n Dlinciilt Tli I tiff to
Do, After All.
As I debouched from the mountain
pass the town was .right there a col
lection of about CO tents and shanties,
and n population of 250 miners, pr:s
pectors and teamsters. I had no sooner
appeared than I was surrounded by a
hundred excited men, nnd it was several
minutes before I could understand the
situation.
"Stranger, it be just this wny," finnlly
explained one of the crowd. "Tills town
hnln't had no name thus fur, and we
enn't agree on one. When we seen you
comin' down the pnss we sorter agreed
as how we'd leave it to you to give it a
name."
"What's tlic general situation?" I
asked, as I noticed thnt every man was
armed.
"The gcnernl situasliun," replied a
second man who had a dangerous look
in his eyes, "is that the galoot who tries
to name tills town and don't hit sun
thin' to please us will be planted in our
new graveyard 1"
"Yes, that's about the situasliun,"
ndded the man who had first spoken.
"We've had seven men killed and four
or five wounded while tryln' to git n
name, and we've got sorter mad and dis
couraged." "It isn't giving me a fair show!" I
protested, "flow can you expect me to
suggest n name to please everybody?"
"Dunno, stranger, but you'd better
try it on, fur this thing lias to be set
tled before we can git n post ofils'. and
everybody seems anxious to shoot!"
"What names have been talked over?"
"Wall, the string is too long to remem
ber, but t lie seven who were killed
stuck out for 4Whoop-'er-up,' I believe.
1 kinder favored it myself, but the
crowd seemed to think it lacked poetry.
What we 'pear to want is sutliin' soft
nnd tender and poetic sutliin' we kin
sorter hug up to and brag about."
"How will 'Rosalind' do?" Tasked.
'Sounds party nice, but not quite the
ticket, "cordin' to my wny o' thinkin'."
"Well, there's 'Mountainville,' 'Silver
City,' Miis.vAilhV 'Rest Haven' and
'Goldenrod.'"
"Kinder soft and tender, them be, but
not soft and tender 'miff to hit us
plumb-center. Give us a few more."
I was racking my brain for another
list when two men who had been wrang
ling for the last five minutes suddenly
proceeded to business, and the crowd at
once rushed to surround them. This left
the way open, and I turned my mule
and dug in the spurs nnd was out of
sight before they missed me. A week
later, over at White Dog City, T met the
man who had done most of the talking
for the crowd that day. As soon ns
he recognized me he held out his hand
and said:
"Stranger, I'm awful glad to see vou,
and 1 want to thank ye on behalf of
the boys!"
"Thank me for w hat V"
"Fur givin' our town a' name. Tf you
hadn't cum along thnt day we might
a had 20 men killed afore we got a name
to suit us."
"But 1 didn't name the town! When
tlip row broke out I got away."
"But you named it. all the same,"
he persisted. "When the row was over
and we found you missiu' we put it
to vote whether we should call the town
Crawfish' or 'Skedaddle.' Thar' was
more Skeedaddleites than Crawfishers,
and so we agreed on 'Skeedaddle,' and
Skeedaddie she will be from now on
forevermore. Stranger, if you ar' sorter
susceptible to the great honor con
ferred upon ye, and if thar'sa "
"But I fail to see the honor!"
"If ye ar' sorter susceptible to the
great honor conferred upon ye, and
thar's a place around yere whnr' we
kin licker at your expense, why, I
wouldn't mind wasihin some of the
quartz-dust outer my throat!"
There was a place, and after the dust
hnd been duly washed down he shook
hands again and said:
"I don't mind snyin' that I stuck out
fur 'Crawfish' as again 'Skeedaddle.' as
I thought it softer and tenderer and
more teehin', but arter the choice was
made I didn't do no kickin. Skeedaddle
is uphonvous and poetical 'nuff fur
common folks, but if you happen up t lint
way drop in and let the boys do ye
honor!" Detroit Free Press.
I'ork Oi'oqiiettt'H.
Chop cold roasted or fried fresh pork
very fine. For 12 croquettes take one
tnblespoonful butter and one medium
sized, fine-chopped onion. Place the
butter and onion in n small saucepan
over the fire and cook five minutes with
out browning; then add one henping
tnblespoonful flour, stir and cook two
minutes nnd add half pint white broth
or boiling water with a little beef ex
tract. Then add one even teaspoonfui
salt, half even tenspoouful white pep
per, half teaspoonfui dry English mus
tnrd and one pint of chopped ment. Stir
nnd cook ten minutes. Then add the
yolks of three eggs and one tablespoon
fill fine chopped parsley. Turn the con
tents of saucepan on a fiat dish or pan,
set in in a cool place. "When cold form
the mixture into 12 cork-shnped cro
quettes, dip in beaten egg, roll in fresh
grated bread crumbs and fry in hot fat
to a delicate brown. Serve with tomato
sauce. Boston Globe.
A physician, who has given much
thought to the subject, says that so
long ns the cyclist can breathe with the
mouth shut he is reasonably safe from
heart strain..
r
f
a
1!