I
.1
y
(.
I
x
WImt Thcr Got.
Tho honcat old fellow who cleans out a
bank, with a broom, for a dollar a
dny,
Gets only tho courtesy Bhown to n dop, ex
cept while ho's drawing his pay.
Tho burglar who cleans out a bank at
night, with a Jimmy and powder and
saw,
Gets only a sentence, to pay for his pains,
that's tho farthest extent of tho law.
Tho trusted ofllclnl who cleans out a bank
gets the cash and he's nothing to fear.
But why should tho crookedest ono of tho
thrco bo acclaimed as a "financier?"
Chicago Times-Herald.
TUB DIVIDE!) FAMILY.
Jimmic Where urc your folks going
this summer?
Tommic Don't know yet. Mn wnnts
society nnd pa wunts boating and fish
ing, but I am bucking un pa. N. Y.
Truth.
I2vonoiil In Wonlth.
Lndy of the House Did you mail my
letter, as 1 told you, Susan?
Hired Girl Sure, mum, I did; but I
luid it weighed llrst, nnd us it wns double
weight 1 put another stnmp on it.
Ludy of the House That's right; only
3 hope you didn't put the extra stnmp
on so as it would obliterate the address.
Hired Girl Indeed I didn't, mum; 1
just stuck it on top of the other stump,
bo us to save room. N. Y. World.
WASTED
CopyrlKht, U97, by Mitchell & Miller.
"If thine enemy smite thee on the
"Look out better for him next time,
-can get within to much us a foot of
Seemed AiHiroiirlnte.
"What sign do you think 1 ought to
put up in front of my place of busi
ness V" asked the man who hud opened a
morgue.
" Mvcmains to be seen,' " suggested the
friend who had dropped in. Chicago
Tribune.
A Verltul DlHtlnctlun.
"There are u great many men looking
for work," said the philanthropist.
"Perhaps," said Senator Sorghum, as
he laid aside a pile of letters', "but it
hcems to me there must be a great many
more looking lor positionb." Washing
ton Stur.
Hy C'oKiiiurlNoii.
Tom (rapturously) That dairyman's
daughter is a beautiful creature. She
has hair as golden as the butter her
father sells.
Dick Ves, and eyes ns blue as the
jaiilU he sells. Up-to-Date.
Liontclne Forrrnrtl.
"When 1 am rich," he suid, haughtily,
"1 will return nnd tnuut you with the
opportunity you havo missed."
"When you nro rich," she answered,
cnlmly, "I trust you will offer to pny
for the broken leg of that spindle-llmbcd
gilt chnir."
And he went forth with a hollow
groan. Cleveland Vlaln Denier.
Simpletons.
Landlord (to ngent) I wish you'd
keep a close watch on the people who
have that house on X street. I'm ufraid
they're up to something.
Agent What hns aroused your sus
picions? Landlord Thy haven't naked for
any repairs this month. Cleveland
Ledger.
The Financier.
Ho says ho's fully satisfied that when ho
gets a chnnco
He'll fill the nation's treasury and Btralght-
en out llnanco;
Dut, slnco that's In tho future, ho would
feel quite gratified
If you'd buy him a cup of coffee, with a
sandwich on tho side.
Chicago Tlmcs-IIorald.
III Silence Hxnlnlnert.
"Mr. Bluffy," she said, graciously,
"you are one of the most original men
I have met for ever so long. You haven't
said a single word about the weather."
"No," he fcoid, with a tinge of regret
in his voice. "I couldn't say what I
thought about this weather in the pres
ence of ladies." Tit-Bits.
Why She Let Illm.
Cholly Chumpleigh (fervently) Miss
Coldeal, Ethel I May 1 call you Ethel?
Miss Coldeal Yes.'I think you may,
as
Cholly Chumpleigh Oh, thank you,
Ethel 1 Thank youl
Miss Coldeal It isn't my name. N.
Y. Journal.
Anything: Ilnntfy.
When Mr. Jones and Miss Smith mado a
match
Tho ladles said he was a splendid catch,
But since they married comes tho news so
grim
Ho needs to bo sho throws so much at
him!
N. Y. Tribune.
PHILOSOPHY.
right cheek "
uud pound his head clean off before ho
your nose."
IIiiIiIn Her Atfc.
Mrs. Wainwood I was speaking with
Miss Elder to-day. She says that every
body tells her that she holds her age re
mnrkably. Mrs. Grimm Yes; she has been 30 for
the last six years, to my knowledge.
Boston Transcript.
FlKtirlliK It Out.
Dny Why do you claim that that
headlight of yours is a jewel? Every
one knows it is paste.
Weeks J can prove it pnste hns con
sistency, and consistency is a jewel.
Chelsea Free Lnnce.
A DoiueNtiu Dillteiilty.
"It's too mean," pouted tho young
housekeeper. "She is very disobliging."
"Who?" inquired her husband.
"The servant. I have discharged her
nnd she won't go, and 1 think it's real
impertinent of her." Washington Star.
A COUNTERFEITER CAUGHT.
The Police of Syrncune Mnlce mi Iiu
nurtnnt Capture.
On Mondny the 15th Harold Mnrquiscc, of
Uticn, N. Y., wns arrested in Syracuse, N.
Y., on a warrant sworn out by the Dr. Wil
Hams' Medicine Co., chnrging him with forg
ery. On the 15th of December Marquisco
visited a photo-engraver in Syracuse, Bay
ing ho was the representative of tho Dr.
Williams' Medicine Co., and arranged for tho
making of a full set of plates for the direc
tion sheets, labels, etc., of the famous Dr.
Williams' Pink rills for Palo People. News
of tliis reached the home olllce, and no time
wns lost in arranging for his arrest when ho
should return for the plates. He returned
on the 15th, and was accordingly arrested
and is now in jail in Syracuse awaiting ex
amination, which occurB on March 2d.
This arrest proves to he an important
one. In addition to vnrious plunder, such
as medical books, typewriters, rugs, etc.,
found in Mnrquisec's trunk when arrested,
the police also found counterfeit coin both
in tho trunk and on his person; nnd in a
buarcli of his apartments in Utiea found a
complete outfit for counterfenting consist
ing of crucibles, bellows, nickel, lend,
bismuth, antimony, n sninll blacksmith
forge, a charcoal furnace, and several pins-tcr-ot-pnris
molds. The United States mar
shals want him just as soon as Dr. Williams'
Medicine Co. arc through with him, and, no
doubt, lie will be sentenced for a long pe
riod. In selecting Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for
his counterfeiting operations, he showed his
knowledge of the nronrictarv medicine busi
ness; for these pills arc in such great demand
that they arc easily sold at any drug store in
the United States. His scheme was to work
the country druggists and sell his imita
tions at a discount of from2pcrcent.to5pcr
cent., explaining the reduced price by tho
fact that he had picked them up in small
lots nnd at n discount from dcnlcrs who were
overstocked. By working fast nnd mnking
long jumps, ho would have secured many
hundreds of dollars in n short time. The
proprietors of Dr. Willinms' Pink Pills nrc
most fortunate to have caught the rogue, be
fore he hnd fairly stnrtcd, and to have thus
kept these spurious goods out of the market.
m i
She "If you were to find that I had loRt
nil my fortune every penny of it would
you hesitate to carry out our engngement?"
He "I would hesitate at nothing." Indi
nnapolis Journal.
State op Ohio, City or Toledo, I
LncAB County. f
8.
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he is the
senior partner of the firm of F. J. Cheney
& Co., doing business in the city of Toledo,
County and State aforesaid, and that said
firm will pay the sum of One Hundred Dol
lars for each and every ense of catnrrh that
cannot be cured by the use of Hall's Catarrh
Cure. FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 0th day of December, A. D.
1SS0. A. W. GLKASON,
Seal Notary Public.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
nets directly on the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Send for testimonials,
free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Hall's Family Pills arc the best.
A woman's idea of a mnn good and true
is one who, on Sundny nftcrnoon, rends to
his child the little paper it received nt Sun
day school that day. Atchison Globe.
On Time,
And very early too. That'll what any one
should be in treating one's self for inaction
of the kidneys and uladder. The diuretic
which experience indicates ns supplying the
requisite stimulation to the orgnns without
exciting them, is Hostcttcr's Stomach Bit
ters. Don't delay; kidney inaction and dis
eases arc not far apart. For fever and ague,,
dyspepsia, constipation, rheumatism and
nerve debility, also, use the Bitters.
She "Do you understand those French
jokes?" He "I'm afraid I do." She
"Then I wish you'd translate them." Pick-Me-Up.
If you need anything in the lino of Hay,
Coal. Stock, Grain or Cotton Scales, you
bhoiiid write to the Weeks Scale Works,
Buffalo, N. Y., for catalogue and informa
tion. This is an old reliable firm, and you
can rely upon right prices and right treat
ment. Slumleigh "1 don't sec why you care so
little for me." Miss Gyer "Have you ever
taken a good look at yourself? Town
Topics.
Fits stopped free and permanently cured.
No fits alter first day's tihe of Dr. 'Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Free $2 trial bottle &
treatise. Dr. Kline, 033 Arch bt., Phila., Pa.
When the Lord hands out a woman her
harp, she will not feel as proud bb when the
minister asked for a second piece of her pie
at a church dinner.
We think Piso's Cure for Consumption
is the ou.'v medicine for Cough. Jennie
Pineknrd, Springfield, Bis., Oct. 1, 1891.
"George describes the girl ho is engaged
to as n perfect visioir." "Yes. And his sister
says she is a sight." Indianapolis Journal.
Feeble- nerves severe weather neural
gia. Soothing cure St. Jacobs Oil.
m m I II
He Was a Stavcr. He "I'm going to kiss
you when 1 go." She "Do it now while I'm
still young." Town Topics.
Cascarets stimulate liver, kidneys nnd
bowels. Never sicken, weaken or gripe, 10c.
It will bo heaven to the women because
the angels don't wear corsets or tight
Bhoes. Atchison Globe.
Don't snnn in two. Limber up. St. Ja
cobs Oil will cure lumbago sure.
The trouble with most of us is that we
neglect to do to-morrow what we have put
off to-day. Truth.
.
Just try n 10c box of Cascarets candy en
thartic,fincst liver and bowel regulator made.
M...i ,i m ,
A man's importance cannot be deter
mined by the number of initials before his
name. Atchison Globe.
'
Blncker the spot, surer the cure. Use St.
Jacobs Oil for bruises.
There nre almost ns mnny crises in the
nverngo love affairs as there have been in
the rule of the sultan of Turkey.
I 1 1
Put a pain to sleep? St. Jacobs Oil docs
thin with beiaticn. Torment cured.
"Glory" is "grace" perfected and grace
is ours on earth.
DiHappointments are ivingg .that hear tho
soul skyward,
Son ItUS. OATB, 173 HUB. MAULEY.
M. M. Luther, East Troy, Pn., grew
COO bushels Salzcr'H Silver Mine Oats,
and John Breldcr, Mlshleott, Wis., 173
bushels Silver King Barley per acre.
Don't you believe It? Write them!
Fodder plnntn as rape, tcoslnte,
vetch, spurry, clovers, grouses, etc.. In
endless varieties, potntoes nt$l.S0 a bar
rel. Salter's seeds arc bred to big
yields. America's greatest seed cata
logue and 12 farm seed samples nrc Kent
you by John A.Snlzer Seed Co.,Lu Crosse,
Wis., upon receipt of 10 cents, nnd this
notice, worth $10, to get a start, k
1 m ' i
Some of the best people we know nrc so
fnt ( that they will not bo nblc to reach
their nrms around a harp when they get Up
Yonder. Atchison Globe.
"Stnr Tobacco."
As you chew tobacco for pleasure, uso
Star. It is not only the best, but tho most
lasting, and therefore tho cheapest.
Our Idea of a hopeless fool is n mnn who
hns a BtiK neck from looking up for nlr
ships.
Sudden weather changes bring rheuma
tism. St. Jacobs Oil makes prompt cure.
Tho word "cntcrtnincd" is overworked
worse than the mother of half a dozen chil
dren. Atchison Globe.
nt
When bilious or costive cnt n Cnscnret,
candy cathartic, cure guaranteed. 10c, 25c.
Borrowed trouble demands largo Interest.
Chicago Standard.
Time counts, health gains. A quick, sure
cure St. Jacobs Oil for sprains.
t The more grateful we arc for our bless
ings, the smaller our trials will look.
It is brave to overcome, it is saintly to en
dure. Chicago Standard.
ot the
Soak
sy-
r
- 'Iimii m mmr
don't use less that only increases your work. Use it alone;
no soap with it ; nothing but
WW'WWUftt U 1 1 1 1
Baker's
Established in
Mm
1 II
Mo. I TO
Has the well-known Yellow Label on the front of every
package, and the trade-mark, "La Belle Chocolnticrc,"
on the back.
NONE OTHER GEMUISE.
Wnltor Rnkor
jt ,... ..-w. w
W'MWM'J44'!
,gr(jr5SS)(girB(f8)S5)i,sS)
Harvester and Binder.
i nc ciairns
strong claims. Thai's because
CMP
? Machines arc so constructed that strong
S chine you want will cost you more than
11 it is worth more; that's all there's no
w glad you paid the difference, because
McCormick Harvesting Machine Company, Chicago,
The I.iRlit-RiiiinlnR McCormick Open Klcvntor Hnrvester,
Tlie I.i;litHuiiuliiK McCormick New 4 Steel Mower,
The MKlit'IltitiniiiK McCormick Vertical Com Hinder nnd
The kighl-Uuiiuini: McCormick Daisy Keaper, for sale cverywf
a'
iANDY
10
' 25 50
tmv m ns 1 ". m v m m 1 n a v
wCURECOSISrSPAF
illW ' J Tjt 1 ii 1 in iiBr
msB'
! ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED iaSffSf r
1 pin nn.l booklet Tree. Ail. STI'.IIMMJ HIIMIWY CO., '
4r V''f (rO-W-tt-trV-Ixte -&- r-rl
Persons you meet every day,
WILL DIE
OF BRIGHT'S DISEASE
or some trouble of the kidneys, urinary
or female organs
,WHAT CAN BE DONE?
In such a serious condition you mtt
secure the best retnedv von can f)rv4 In
the market
AT ONOE,
There is only one absolutely sure
cure for these troubles, and that is
"It has stood the test of time."
A. N. K.-l)
1648
WIIICN WIUTI.NU TO AllVKItTIHBUR l'LKASH
iute thul you tuvr the Advertltemeal In tkla
impcr.
Ironing is hard enough.
Save your strength for that. Make the rest
washing easy with Pearlinc.
; boil ; rinse that is all there is
to it. I he clothes are cleaner and
whiter than in the old way ; colored
goods arc brighter ; flannels are softer
and won't shrink.
Use your Pearline just as
directed on every package, and
you'll get the best results. Don't
use more that only wastes it ;
Pearline.
631
MMIIM t4iWWMMMW
Chocolate I
MADE BY
Walter Baker & Co. Ltd.,
1 780, at Dorchester, Mass.
Rt Cn. I III.. Dnrrhe:for. Mn:c.
HV- ,. p w. W..VW.. , ....w-
HMM444MWMMHMMM
fien B Saw
your advertisement
I thought that it was probably like the announce
ments of many other makers of harvesting machinery
big blow and little show; but I'm ready to surren
der? go ahead, gentlemen, you're all right; I bought
one of your binders last season and it is equal to any
claim you ever made for it."
This is the condensed essence of what Mr. Thomas
Carney, of Washington Court House. Ohio, has to
say about the McCormick Right Hand Open Elevator
maae lor ivicuormiCK iviacnines uro
claims for them are justified. The ma-
the other kind, for the simple reason that
other reason and in the end you'll be
there's nothing cheaper than tho best.
,$
GATHAIHK