3
A rnrcluiHo.
I'loor-wnlker Did Mrs. Upton buy
that lust piece of organdie?
.Saleswoman No, Mrs. Downton
bought it.
Floor-walker Why, I thought I
heard her say before Mrs. Upton came
in that she didn't like It.
Saleswoman She did say so.
Floor-walker Then why did she take
it?
Saleswoman Because Mrs. Upton
wanted it. Chicago Hccord.
In tint l'ur Soutliiv'Ht.
Mrs. Colt (wife of Col. Colt, of Texas)
As I was going by Turner's this morn
ing, John, 1 heard .71m Muff say that if
justice had its due you'd have adorned
u telegraph pole long ago.
Col. Colt (springing up from the
dinner table) .Urn Bluff, you say? Lot
JUL
Wife Now, John, please finish your
dinner. The shooting will keep. Hay
City Clint.
Tin; .maijcii or sciknci
Ardent Lover If you could see my
heart, Belinda, you would know how
fondly
Up-to-Date Girl (producing Roentgen
camera) I intend to see it, George.
Sit still, please. Collier's Weekly.
ItfClllKlll Ulltl KcilllHIll.
Professor What's the difference be
tween idealism and realism?
'Varsity Girl Idealism is when you
contemplate matrimony.
Professor Yes, and realism?
Girl You get that afterwards.
Judy.
STREET SCENE IN
As Pictured by a -Newspaper Artist in a
Car Men's
Tnltliifr It Clieorfiilly.
.Landlady Wouldn't you like a cup
of coffee, .Mr. Snoberly? It is nice and
fresh.
Mr. Snoberly Yes, madam, when I'm
through with my steak. Business first,
you know. Texas Sifter.
" Wrong AVuy Jlniiuil.
Spencer Who was it wrote "Men
must work and women must weep?"
Ferguson Forgotten. But' it's good.
Spencer Bubbish! Women more
often weep w hen men don't work. N.
Y. World.
lit tlio Siilutrhx.
"Your husband painted the house this
spring himself, didn't he?"
"Well, yes, I suppose he got some of
the paint on the house, hutyou wouldn't
think so if you could see his clothes."
Chicago 1'iiht.
Itciilly Wonderful.
Mrs. Flatbush Did you hae an ac
cident coming up on the trolley to
night, dear? ,
Mr. Flatbush Yes; we didn't run
over anybody. Yonkers Statesman.
Crafty DiiwHiMi.
"Why is Dawson painting his house
such a vermilliou red?"
"lie thinks it will look sr warm this
s tminer no one will want to visit there."
-Detroit Free Press.
Moiiost imliM'il,
"What a ery modest little house the
M'hlhein."
"I should say so: why, even the doors ,
are shrinking." Brooklyn Life. ,
' 40m''
i
lltiHtmml to lltirn.
The Knglish actors who come over
here are intensely English when they
first arrive, but they boon show their
appreciation of American colloquialisms
by appropriating them. A gentlemnn
of this city relates that some time ago,
In the New York City club, he met Fred
W , the comedian. Some one was tell
ing about a woman who had just mar
ried her third husband.
"By the way." the gentleman asked,
"where Is her first husband buried?"
"lie was cremated," was the answer.
"And the second?"
"Also cremated."
"By Jove," observed little Mr. W ,
"that woman has husbands to burn."
St. Louis Bcpublic.
A l'eiMniiiil l'cciilliirlty.
The young mnn who prides himself on
being original was talking to Miss Cay
enne. "Your mother seemed very much
amused at that little story 1 told her
Inst night," he said, self-approvingly.
"Yes," she replied. "Kver since I can
remember mother has laughed when
ever she heard that story.'" Washing
ton Star.
An Otlmrn Sco Uh.
Englishman (to fair American tour
ist) Well, I suppose none of this Swiss
scenery will compare with jour Ni
agara. Fair American (with some embar
rassment) I've never seen Niagara.
Englishman Ah, pardon me; 1
thought that you were a married wom
an. Bay City Chat.
Kuslly Accounted J'ur.
Professor The fact that men when
lost in the woods describe a circle in
stead of proceeding in a straight line,
shows that one leg is longer than the
other. How is such a phenomenon ac
counted for?
Smart Student By the fact that the
leg pulling process is universal. Art in
press.
A l'oor I'lun.
Husband So that new girl goes out
three nights n week. I'll tell you how
to keep her in. Scare her. Tell her
a. terrible fellow called Jack the Kisser
is prowling around, kissing every girl
he can catch.
Wife (doubtfully) Well, I don't
know, my dear; I was a young girl once
myself. I'm afraid she'd be t.ut every
night. N. Y. Weekly.
MILWAUKEE.
Rival City During the Recent Street
Strike.
I'roof of AiToi'tloii.
llieh Meruvhaut (to his daughter) 1
say, Emma, 1 think that young man
who calls on you so much really means:
business.
Emma What makes you think s-o?
Merchant Nothing.except he called
at the commercial agency last week
to find out how much I was really
worth. Texas Sifter.
Uk Value.
"You have some cry valuable prop
erty, I beliee," said the tall man, care
lessly. The little man looked at him sharply.
"That depends." he said.
"Depends on what?"
"On whether you want to buy it or
nsress it." Chicago Post.
Ills .MiiHlorplt-ro.
"How did Daubs sue himself when
that leap-year girl got after him out in
the country?"
"Oh, he painted a bargain counter on
a high-board fence, and while she was
gazing at it, he got away." Louisville
Courier-Journal.
A Milt mil Disappoint incut.
"I was so disappointed I was out tho
other day when you called, Miss I'or
cival." "So was I. I felt sure I'd find you,
because when I turned the corner, d
fcnw you go In." Harper's Baar.
Moroni tin t'olU'ctlon.
A colored pastor in Texas demanding
his Hilary, is reported to have sal'l
"Biudri'ii f can't pre.ieh he nil ami
Lu.id lu KcL'i:." 'I it-Bits.
WOMEN FARMERS.
They Must Ho l'riictlciil and Self-Sun-tulnlng.
"There Is no reason in the world why
n woman should not run a farm success
fully, and no reason why she should
hesltntc to undertake agricultural pur
suits," said u veteran farmer, who was
noted for keeping abreast of the times.
"In the course of my life I have known
half a. dozen women who were left with
farms on their hands, and who finished
paying for them, put up buildings and
handled their varied interests admira
bly. In later jyear.s 1 have known u
number who bought farms just as men
would have done, and who have laid tip
money, some of them n considerable
amount.
"But the woman farmer, to be suc
cessful, needs to do two or three things.
First of all, she must be practical, and
must be thoughtfully slow in accepting
the advice of people who want her to
try new things too extensively. Women
are a wee bit. inclined to be progressive,
and many of them are rather more ad
venturous than men. To yield to this
impulse is the first step towards fail
ure. Conservatism is a most excellent
sheet anchor, and is a faculty that all
women and a great many men would do
well to cultivate.
"The help question is, of course, one
of the greatest points to be looked after.
In emergencies the man can himself
turn in and fill gaps, but the woman can
not always do this; therefore it is nec
essary for her to look ahead and man
age her affairs with prudence, in order
not to be caught and involved in disas
ter. "There are many men who will not
work well with what they call a 'woman
boss.' They seem to feel thnt there is
something wrong in taking orders from
femininity, and are often so disagreea
ble that the only way to get along with
them is to give them their way iiHinueli
ns possible. This is always a mistake,
as such men grow worse with time, and
soon becoine domineering. If the man
will not take orders from the proprietor
of the establishment, the only thing is
to get rid of him forthwith. He demor
alizes all the other help and has a bad
influence in the neighborhood.
"Women may very successfully con
duct farms if they turn their attention
to grass and fruit. The raising of
flowers and poultry are occupations es
pecially appropriate 'for women, and,
with good markets, are exceedingly
profitable if well managed.
"There is no reason why n womnn
should not be just as efficient in a green
house or a poultry-yard as a man. In
deed, her habits of carefulness and dis
position to look after little things are
never better placed than in such pur
suits." N. Y. Ledger.
Klfrliteon litihlcr nt ii Hull.
M. niul Mine. X , when they re
turned to their residence earlier.'than
they were expected the other night
from the ball at Elysee, found, to their
astonishment, that their three servants
and two children had disappeared. On
questioning the concierge and threaten
ing to send for the commissary of police
the parenta learned that in their ab
sence the servants had gone off to n
opular dancing room and taken the
children with them. M. and .Mine.
N , still in evening dress, immediate
ly drove, in their carriage to the ad
dress given. At the door of the dancing
salon they met the man w ho receives the,
money, and he evidently took in the
situation. "Reassure yourselves, mon
sieur and niadame," he said, "and kind
ly step this way." The man led the way
to a large, well-lighted and warm room,
in which were IS babies fast asleep upon
benches. They were under the care of
nn old woman, and M. and Mme. X
had no difficulty in picking out thoso
which belonged to them. Paris Poste.
t" a
THE GENERAL MARKET.
Kansas Citv, Mo., Juno 1".
CATTLE-Hcst beeves U 3. ti W
StocUcrs 3 10 (f& 3 .Vi
XllllVOCOHK -- iliB
HOGS-Choice to heavy !i 0'i fa 3 iO
WHEAT No. red W '. M
No. a nurd ! HI M
CORN No. 'J nitxurt KJ.ffc '.'J!;
OATS No. -J mixed 1 0 114
KYE No S 31 fo "SI
FLOUU l'titent. per suck I Hi fa 2 00
Ktiuiy 1 7i ( 1 s")
HAY Choice- timothy 11 0) ia 10
Kaiicy prulrlo tl MJ do 7 f0
UltAN-(SacUud) 3.' fa 33
HUTTEK Cholco creamery ... Ii A 13
CHEESE Full cream lu'Jffi latf
EGUS-Cholco dj 4
POTATOES Cj fa 8J
ST. LOUIS.
CATTLE Native und shipping 3 SO fa I 0J
Tuxnnn a IJ fa 3 7i
HOQS-Heavy 3 01 to 3 Si
tfJIEEP Fair to choice S M) fa 3 Ci
FLOUK Clioleu a Hi w 3 l
WHKAT-No. a rod 0 i. 1
COKN No. a mixed a'.'.JTO av
OATS-No. a mixed I7i 17',
HYE-No. .'. ! fa :W',i
HUTTEK Creamery 11','ifa 17
LAUD Western wc.i ) oi fa i v:y,
1'UltlC 7 i0 kit 7 3i
CHICAGO
CATTLE Common to prune... 3 M) fa I 4i
IlOilft-l'nchlni; and shipping. L'ti . ;iw
SHEEl1 Fmr to cholco a on fa 3 Ml
FIAlUK Wlniiir wlwut '' l) "' i
WHEAT-No. a red ill C.MJ
cokn No. a a.j( ', a.-',
OA'IS No. a 1!J 17?
liYE 13 fa 31
HU lTEU-Cieninoiw II (u. 1"
LAUU I u " I 10
POKIC 0 0. Q i ui
NEW YOKIC.
CATTI.r.-NatlVC.SlLCl-i 1 no f I 33
HOGS Good to Cholco 8W (Ti in
FLUUU-Good toCnulco 3 11 3 .0
WHEAT-No. J led da;. G"J
COKn-No a .13 ,, -i 2'H
oat-.--o a i a o ::(
W"n EH ' rr.m.rry 11 li
I' I 1 i. .Vi-'i 0 1J HktO u
Three for i Dollurt
Ihrcowhat? Three chiiriuhudy executed
pomorn In colors, drawn by W. W. Peas
low, Ethil Heed and Hay Urown, will be
sent free of postuito to any address on re
ceipt of One Dollar. All who nroafllletcd
with the "poster crno" will immediately
emurtico this raro opportunity, as hat a
limited number of tlio postern will be Is
sued. The scarcity of u good thitur en
hance its value. Address Ui:o. 11. Hr.AK
roan, Gci.orul Passenger Agent of the Chi.
eiiRo, Milwaukee fc Ht. Paul Hallway, Old
Colony Ibil.diag, Chicago, 111.
'You surelvdo not favor po' ticont gov
ernment?" mid an objector to u woman suf
frage advocate. "No, 1 don't," wiv the re
ply. "1 favor bloomer government. 'De
troit Free Press.
ltomo "Wimii't Unlit In n Day,
Neither iuv tlio obstinate maladies, to the
removal of which tho great corrective, Hos
tottor's Stomach Hitters, Is adapted curable
lu nn hour. To persist in tlio imu of this
Maiulnid remedy Is no mora than just. Ull
lousnoss, constipation, malaria, rhotima
tisni,kldnov complaints and nervousness are
umong tho complaints which It eradicates.
'i iiKin: is a third silent party to nil our
bargains. rlho naturo and soul of things
takes upon itsoir the giVninty or tho ful
Hllment of every contract, so Unit honest
sorvico cannot come to loss.-Kmersou.
Hull's Ciiturrh Cnro
Is a Constltutlor'al Cure. Price 75c.
'orxo lmin," said tho Inercliant to tho
prospective olllco boy, "nro you l'alrlv well
educated!" '! be," replied the boy, proud
ly, Tit-lilts.
A oukat diamond robbery stealing a
base. Philadelphia Press.
m Pill Clothes. Jf
Tho good pill has a good coat. Tho pill coat
serves two purposes; it protects tho pill, on
abling it to retain all its romodial value, and it
disguises tho tasto for tho palato. Somo pill
coats are too heavy ; they vill not dissolvo in
tho stomach, and tho pills they cover pass
through tho system as harmless as a broad
pellet. Other coats aro too light, and permit tho
speedy deterioration of tho pill. After 30 yoara
ozpoBuro, Ayor'o Sugar Coated Pill3 havo boon
found as effoctivo ao if just fresh from tho labor
atory. It's a good pill vith a good coat. Ask
your druggist for
Ayer's Cathartic Pills.
More pill pnrtlculnrs in Ayer's CurctiooU, loo pages.
Kent Inc. J. C. Ayer Co., I.owcll, Mans.
The Governor of
to the Governor
BATTLE AX"
m of the best quality,
Ifrfl (t
nita
Large quantities reduce the cost ot
manufacture, the result going to the con-
M sumer in the shape
less money, than was ever beiore possible.
SMmmmMMmMmmmmm&
ifCUSf8 WHL' All, LLiih FAILTtTlSr
A Ucat CoUf-U .Vmp. 'i'fevert Uoixi. r.lCK?;!
J J ltira ti!'i br cJrii.'r''i' J31
'W
Grand Excursion to llnfTnlo July fith nnd
Cltlt.
Tho National Educational Association will
hold Its next annual mooting hi Buffalo, and
tho Michigan Central, "Tlio Nlagura Falls
Route, " has iiiudu r.ito of one faro for tho
round trip plus $2.00. association member
ship foo. Send stamp for "NoteB for Teach
er.," containing valuable Information rela
tive to Buffalo nnd Niagara Palls, and 10
cents for a "Summer Note Hook" fully de
scriptive and profitsoly illustrated of tho
Hummer Resorts of tho North and East.
City TIcke' Office 111 Adams Street. O. W.
Hi'i(ii.i:s, Goa'l Pnss'r t Tlt't Ag'U
m
'Tnr.Y say the Jewelers are down on bi
cycles." Yes, it his got so that, a follow
who rides a wheel doesn't enro whether ho
owns a diamond pin or not." Chicago Record.
i i its slopped freo and permanently cured.
. No fits niter first day's use of Dr. Kline's
Ureal Nerve Res.oror. Frooipa trial bottlo
treatise. Du.Ki.iNi:,raiArehHt.Phlla ,ln.
Nr.vmt write anything that does notgivo
you grout pleasure; emotion Jh easily union
pted from the writer to the reader. Jou
bcrt. Piso's Curo for Consumption has saved
mo many a doctor's bill. S. 1 Uaiidy, 11oi
klus Place, Baltimore, Md., Dec. ii, "Ji.
II - !. I.
Goon, tho moro communicated, the moro
nbundiuit grows. Milton.
A sai.i.ow Pkln acquires a healthy clear
ness by the uso of (JXmiii'b Kulphur Honp. .
Bill's Hair and Whisker Dye, W) cenus.
'
It is said wo pay tho most for what is
given us. J. Beaumont.
Hi: only Is exempt from failures who
makes no efforts. Wlmtely.
North Carolina said
of South Carolina
is the most tobacco,
for the least money.
of a larger piece, for
H'JzU riti.i.. iu: ii. . uoouu-v, .tuih, ua.
tint inn UlllClfV hiililtararnf. Itnitk uvnt
-yHR l' PWr.l Htrr V.x liunlU.
A. N. K D
(609
u ijft
y"'?1"1 ani tint- tuv.
wur.x v.fctT:.o to Aitvtnci'iHr.KH
pi -n'! Ktatti Clint j'oii uiivv Ciu uU.crilbU'
uii.U sn l'.iti uy;-.':t -
