TTIE NORTII PLATTE SEMI-WEEKLY TRIBUNE.
MOVE TO REVISE
THE TARIFF LAW
Strong Sontimont Toward The
Measure as Bar to
Foreign Goods
FACING A PROPOSITION
Internal Revenue Officiate 8ay En
, forcement of Volstead Act
Will be Anythlna but
) an Easy Job.
Washington. To prevent the United
States from becoming a dumping
ground for foreign goods before u uew
tariff bill can be perfected, a inovo Ih
developing In congress for re-enactment
of tlio I'nyne-Aldrlch tariff law
us soon as poswlble after Mnrcli. Tlio
plan Is to U80 tlio I'nyno Aldrlcli law
as a temporary dike against the flood
'of foreign Roods that Europe la pre
paring to rush Into American markets
now unprotected. Those who foster
tJie movement propose that the old
law should be re-enacted only with the
emergency In view to remain effective
until the Fordney-Penroso tariff can
be carried on to the statute books,
probably lute In the summer.
WEEKLY MARKETGRAMS
(U. 8. llureau of Marietta.)
tlNITKO 8TATBS DICl'AItTSinNT OF
AGKICUlI U JtK.
FACING A HARD PROPOSITION.
Enforcement of Volstead Act Found
Anything But Easy.
Washington Revenue ofllcers under
tlio Volstead net nre up aKnlnst tho
toughest proposition any men evor
wcro up against," according to Paul
F. Myers, assistant commissioner of
Internal revenue whoso testimony be
fore the house appropriations commit
tee has Just been made public, Myers
declared tliex were denllng with the
worst clement of crooks In the country.
Commissioner Wllllnm explained that
tlio department was having dlfllculty
In finding the right type of men to go
after vlolntors at the rnto of pay of-
urnil si nil Hint- tlww worn nrwn tn nil
sorts Of temptation, particularly as tO pound Now Zoaland butter arrived
hrllinu Francisco during week.
"Some of them lmvo fallen and that
was to bo expected," ho said. "When n
man feels the pinch of hunger, ho Is
apt to go wrong."
For Wotk Ended January . 1921.
Washington, V. O.
liar ojmI Feed.
Demand In aoutheaat generally dull; con
dition in western and northeastern markets
Kenerally quiet. Chicago report! active de
mand for Timothy hay and fairly good In
quiry for Alfalfa at uneliinged price, lie
ceipta In principal connumlnir market nor
mal. Kansas City market (toady, demand
fair, with bulk of arrival lower grade.
Quoted. No. 1 Timothy, (21, Minneapolis;
UU.4V, Memphis; f3.0O, Philadelphia.'
124. SO, Chlragoj 127.5V, Cincinnati. No. 1
Alfalfa, .21 OU, Kansas City; $40.00, Mem
phi; tJO.OO. Cincinnati. No. 1 Prairie,
111.(0, Kansas city; 116.50, Minneapolis)'
.IH.SO, Chicago.
Wheatfeed situation generally eaeler with
more pressure to veil and no Improvement
In demand. Iteport are to' the effect that
farmer continue to grind corn and oat,
rather than to aell thee grain at prevail
ing price and buy fend which are (elllng
at relatively higher price. Accumulation
of bran by Jobber and Inability to sell low
grade flour for moulding and other Indus
trial purposes caualng price of bran to hold
up fairly well compared to price of new
wheatfeeds, which are weak. Cottonseed
and linseed moat steady and In better do
mand than wheatfeed at present. Hominy
anil Alfalfa meal weaker; gluten, feed un
changed, quoted; Ilran, 128.00: Middling.
1122.00, Minneapolis: best pulp, S44.00 north
Eastern markets; linseed meal. 140.00, Huff-Jo
and Minneapolis; White Hominy, $22.00,
St. IulS 44 por cent cottonseed meal,
124.00 f, o, b. Texas points.
Fruits ami Vegetables.
Northern Hound White potatoes down at
shipping point SQIGc, at tllO&l.JG. Chi
cago car-lot market down V20c, at 31.2641
1.40, Jobbing rungu slightly higher In
other mlddldweitern market, tl.6SO2.00.
Hacked Hound Whites steady at western
Nuw York shipping points. 1,5601.O. Hulk
Hound Whites up 641 16c, New York, closing
tl.06U2.00, Hacked Ursen Mountains, 10J
mo Higher Huston, nt 11 90(1)2.00,
Ilaldwln apples down lOeMGc per barrel
western New York shlnnlnir nolnt. common
storage closing $3,7644.00 f. o. b,; cold
storage, I4.0OW4.SO, llaldwlns, YorKa. onu
tlreenlngs steady. Jobbing 24.OOOS.00.
Northwestern extra fancy Wlnesnps, meu
lum sizes. Jobbing 2So por box higher In
New York City, at $1.&02.75; large size,
I4 00W4.2G.
Danish Typo cabbage advanced strongly
In consuming markets and at shipping
points. Prices, I12.U0V1S.00 per ton bulk
f. o. b. western New York station Jan. 3rd:
21G.00O30.00 In consuming markets Jan.
4th. Northern stock, t20.00Q2S.00 In the
inlddleweat.
Ills: Uoston lettuce Arm In consuming mar
kets, Jobbing mostly 1. 2501,00 per IVi
bushel haniDor. California Icoberg lettuce
up 7GC&31.2G nor crnte. at S2. 6004. SO.
Values up 20026a at shipping points, reach
ing UDUjl.si, por crate.
Car-lot movement increasing. Shipments
week ended Jan. 4th: Potatoes, 1,931 cars;
barreled apple. 628; boxed apples. 586;
cabbago, 345; lettuce, 298; nnlons, 31:
swoet potatoes, 392, Shipments previous
weoKi I'otatoes, BK0 cars; narreieu oppien,
636; boxed apples, 333; cabbage, 131; let
tuce, 33S; onions, 114; sweet potatoes, 219.
Dairy Product,
nutter markets steady, confident tone to
trading but prlcest on conservative basis.
Prices 92 score Now York, 67c; Chicago,
64 Ho; Philadelphia 67 Ho; Uoston, 56c.
Moderate arrival of Danish butter clear
Inir rnnlillv and ilon.li.rs who nre unnblo to
obtain supplies are using domestic medium
ueven hundred ninety mousanu
Ban
Will Burn Houses as Deterrant,
Dublin. -Uiimln castle has an
nounced Us Intention to destroy houses
In the vicinity of scenes of outrages
which nro definitely known to bo oc
cupied by militant Sinn Felners. This
action Is to be taken us n deterrent to
further outrages nnd as un example to
other districts. It was also announced
by tho castlo that owing to the per-
nlstcnt Interference with mall cars In
Tippornry, Sllgo nnd Donngnl, tho mall
services In those districts will be bus-
pencd.
Drastic "Blue Law" for Tennessee.
Nashville, Tenn. Tho most drastic
"blue law" over Introduced In tho
south has been Introduced In tho legis
lature here. The bill would prohibit
transportation of freight nnd pus
flenger trafllc, playing baseball, oper
ation of movies, publication' of Sunday
newspapers, opening of drug stores or
soda fountains, selling, buying or
trading.
Non-Partisan League Moves Base.
Lincoln. Kansas, and not Nebraska,
has been chosen ns tlio now flold of
operations for the Nonpartisan league.
The flying squadron of B0 organizers
that drove In tliclr enclosed automo
biles from Mlnnesotn and North
Dakota have passed on through Ne
braska nnd concentrated In leaguo
headquarters nt Sallnn, Kan.
Tone of cheese markets Imnroved under
lightly batter demand, especially at pri
mary market. Further Improvement looked,
for and this Is In part supporting prosent
markets. Many Jobbing distributors now
have low stocks. Prlcos at Wisconsin prl
mnry markets about Twins, 23a; Daisies,
23c; Double Dalsle. 23c: Young Ameri
cas and Long Horns, 2514c,
Live Htock ad Meats. '
All eliuias of live stuck at Chicago, with
the oxceptlon of soma of the lower grade
row and helfors and a, alight advance on
feeder steers, showed price decile for the
week. Fat lamb lost $1.00 per 100 lb.:
heap G0o1.00; hog down an average of
40a: most grade of beet cattle 26&60o.
January 5 Chicago -prices. Hulk of hogs.
18.10W9.80; medium and good beef steers.
19.00UU.60; butcher cows and heifers 25.00
010.26: feeder staers, 16.G0W9.2S: veal
calves, 111.00012. GO; fat lambs, 110.00
U.7&! reeaing lamos s.uuwiu,ao; yeanings,
tl.00O9.60; fat ewes, 22.2606.00,
Of wholesalo fresh meats, beet price, de
clined an avorage of tl.00 per 100 lb.:
veal and pork up 11.0006. 001 lamb, 11.00
3.UU; mutton, ll.ootvz.vu. January o prices
good grade meats: lleef, tl7.0091B.00; veal,
ll5.00M20.0Oj lambs, 126.00027.00; mutton,
213.000 10,00; light pork loins, 2Z7.009
30.00! heavy loins, 1 10.00 026.00.
a nun.
The weeks' market opened without de
finite trend, but on January 3 sharp upturn
In prices occurred upon the annoucement ot
the passage of war finance bill by senate
over President Wilson's veto. The week
closed with Chicago March wheat up 3"a
at tl. &; May corn down o at nc.
Minneapolis Marcn wnea gainea o m
Ity March Stto at u.ss 7-s;
Winnipeg May 7Ho at 11.67 6-S. Export
demand Is entirely lacking, Sentiment gen
erally bearish. Flour demand spotted.
corn market under pressure ot elevator in
terests selllne short aa hednna aaalnst pur
chases In cash market. Premiums In Chi-
rnuo cash market Jan. S: No. 1 Ued
Wheat 2GJ0Ho over Chicago March: No.
S Ued 27HO28H0 over; No. 3 Ued, 22025c
over; No. 1 Hard, 1415Ha over; No. 2
Hard, 11013a over; No. 3 Hard, 910a
over. Premiums on New cash corn: No. 2
DRIVES ARE LOSING IN FAVOR
Education of Public to "Give Until
It Hurts" Has Been Replaced
By an Era of Keeping
Own Coin.
Chicago, The drlve-rldden public
has tied Its purse strings mid la now
vehemently shouting "no" to "drivers"
asking for funds to support many
charitable organizations.
The end of drives was seen when
a survey showed that few appeals to
tho public for large funds have been
successful In tho United States dur
ing the last year.
Tho method of raising funds by In
tensive public appeals was born during
tho war when the public wns educated
U."glve until it hurts." Golden streams
continued to (low Into campaign head
quarters until a yeur ago when the
public started to turn.
Boland Attack Is Sensation.
Washington. Open ndvocucy of a
race vendetta ngulnst the British, sug
gested In Now York by Harry Boland,
secretury to Kunionii do Vnlera, und
nil alien who entered the United States
without Inspection nnd without n pass
port, bus aroused ofllclnls of this gov
ernment. State department ofllclnls admitted
that they hnd Instituted an Investiga
tion into Bolnnd's status In this coun
try. Although no formal complaint
ever has been lodged ngulnst lSoland's
presence here without authority, It
was sruted that no complaint Is neces
sary If the fact can be established
that Boland entered the United States
Illegally. For this offense he can be
ordered deported by the Stnte depart
ment, which has jurisdiction over
violations of the passport regulations.
To Close Chicago Breweries.
Chicago. Injunction proceedings to
close six south Chicago breweries ns
public nuisances under the abatement
clause of tho prohibition net, were be
gun In the federal court here by K. J.
Brundnge, attorney general of Illinois.
The breweries nre tho I'rlmalt pro
ducts company, tho United States
brewing company, the Standard brew;
Ing company, the Brothers brewing
company, the Independent Brewers' as
sociation, and the Ilnmmond brewing
company of Hammond, Ind.
Packers Must Agree to Plan.
Washington. Justice Stafford of the
District of Columbia supreme court
has decreed that unless' the Chicago
packers submit, within 30 days, an ac
ceptable plan for relinquishing their
control of stock yards, ho will appoint
n trustee for the properties pending
their disposition. The court decided
that ho had power to enforce the
decree divesting tho packers of their
side lines "by n receivership nnd sale,
If that becomes necessary or appropriate."
Claim Foreign Goods too Cheap.
Washington. American manufac
turers, before the house waya nnd
means committee, charged that Ger
man goods nlready nre being dumped
In this country at prices below the cost
of production, to destroy Industries
developed during tho war. Representa
tives of several chemical ludustrlcs
said the sunvo unfair practices used by
tho Gennans .before tho war are re
sort cd to.
Japs Told to "Move On."
Snn Antonio, Texas. Two Japanese
families, who nrrlvcd nt Ilnrllngen a
few days ago with the Intention of
taking up residences on farming lands
nnd wero told "to move on," had
Mixed, 60 under Chicago May: No. 4 Mixed, purchased land In the ltlo Grande val-
8WO90 under: No.. 5. lOVio under: No. I J' , , Tl, nf , .
ILJ J. I U U UlftillUOU tl ,1.1 lb SIS Jtlll-
fornla, who previously acquired tho
land from V. Z. Bishop, a real estate
mnn of San Antonio and Dallas, ac
cording to Information from Ilnrllngen.
Yellow. 6o under: No. 4. 7W(Ulo under No
6, 9o under. Premiums on Whlto corn lo
higher for grades Nos: 3 nnd 4; 2tta high
er for No, 6, Kansas City reports slow mill
ing domnml with premiums as follows: No,
1 wheat, 9011c ovor Kansas City March:
No, 3. 8310o over; No. 3, 6O80 over. In
Minneapolis No, 1 nark Northern 110190
over Minneapolis March; No. z lOvlTc over.
Governors Invited to Inaugural.
Washington, D. C Invitations hnva
been sent to ovcry state governor by
tho Washington commltteo arranging
tor tho Inauguration of President-elect
Harding urging the state executives to
attend the Inaugural ceremonies a;
companled by their staffs.
Reduce Prices of Coal.
Sioux City, la. Prices of various
grades of coal In Sioux City have been
reduced from fU) cent to $2J.50 a ton.
Tho reason assigned for this substan
tial drop in tho cost of fuel Is prlco
reductions nt tho mines and the lake
docks.
Senator Harding Resigns Seat.
Marlon, O. President-elect Hnrdlng
lias resigned us senator from Ohio,
forwarding his letter of resignation to
Columbus for action of the newly
tocted republican governor, Harry L.
JMvls, who has assumed his olllce.
Paris. Fourteen wero killed nnd 300
Injured by an earthquake nt Rlhassan,
Albania, according to a dispatch from
tho American Bed Cross nt Tirana.
Appeal to Amerlccn Red Cross.
Cork. Anotlior appeal to the Ameri
can Rod Cross has beon sent by tho
lord mayor of Cork nnd other officials.
Refuse to Endorse Protective Tariff.
Lincoln, Neb, Before Until adjourn
ment the state farm bureau federation
rofusetl to Indorne n protective tariff
for farm products. Judge l S, Balrd
of Chndron urged resolution to that
affoct, but wns Ignored In committee
and fnllod to gain support on the floor.
when tho federation recommended
that the party clrclo bo loft oft tho
ballot, Bnlrd opposed, but again lost,
A protective tariff on farm products tn
not tho best solution for farmers'
troubles, according to the report of
tho legislative committee.
Cost 03 Cents to Raise Corn.
Ames, In. The average cost of rnls
Ing corn In 1020 In Iowa wns 03 cents
n bushel, nccordlng to figures liy tho
farm management department of tho
Iowa state college, which In co-opern
tion with the Iowa farm buroau fed
eration Is Investigating cost of farm
products.
$50,000 for Inauguration.
Washington. Tho senate hns adopt
cd the Knox resolution appropriating
N0,000 for tho expenses of tho Hard
ing Inauguration.
Wichita, Kan. A financial plan to i
"control and market wheat at, a prion
based on cost of production plus a
fnlr profit," will be worked out at n
national ton vent Ion of the wheat
growers' association of America, early
in the spring, It Is' announced by W.
H. McOrcevy, w-creliiry-treasurer, Or
gniilr.utlou of the association, the mem-
KBiilnztlon of tho association, the mem
bership of which oxoeedK 100,000 nc-
cordlng to McOrcevy, will be coin-
tdeled In the early months of 1021 In
the wlwnt producing states of tho
middle west.
Firm Policy Toward Mexico,
Ainnon, u. Friendly, hut firm. Thnt
Ih the way close counsellors of Presl
dent-elect Harding outline the policy
or tno next administration townrd
Mexico. Consideration of recognition
ot the Obregon government will not
bo long delayed after March 4, It was
learned on unquestioned authority. In
fact, It Is said that several candidates
for (wcretary of stato now nro fumlllnr-
Ir.lng themselves with Mexlcnn condl
tlons by way of preparation.
Washington, D. C. A total of
2,325,000 workers nre out of employ
ment In tho country, according to a
survey of the Industrial situation
lmulo by Clint O. Houston for tho cur
rent Issue of Labor, official orgnn of
tho Plumb PInn league. Mr. Houston
assorts that his Inquiry disclosed tno
greatest Industrial slump since the
money panic of 1007.
Dublin A manifesto from President
De Valcra of tho Irish republic Is ex
pected Boon. De Valera was reported
In conference with the Inner circle of
tho Sinn Fein. Reports said "the
president" landed In Irelnnd disguised
as an uged peasant He was said to
lmvo hobbled Into a town on the west
coast, leanlug on a staff.
j LEGiSLflTIWE NEWS j
Farm Interests Should Fare Well.
The farming Interests of the state
should fare well during the coming
session of the stnte legislature If the
farming personnel is any Indication.
The tiller of the soil Is eminently pre
dominant on the roll call of both the
house and senate. In tho house, tho
farmers lack but six votes of having a
majority of tho membership. There aro
forty-five of them on the list Just pre
pared by Secretary of State Amsberry
and there nre Just 100 members In the
house. In the sennto there aro only
seven farmers but this Is tho Inrgest
hold by any, vocation. The lawyers tie
It with seven and the bankers come
next with five members. In the house
the lawyers are next most numerous
with a membership of twelve. There
will be six bankers In the house, five
merchants, four real estate men and
a few editors.
Getting Ready for Business.
Senntor R. S. Norvnl of Seward was
chosen president pro tern of the Ne
braska senate at a caucus of the re
publican senators by n majority of sev
enteen votes on the fifteenth formal
ballot, defeating Senator Charles L.
Saunders of Douglas county, who re
ceived twelve votes and Senator Den
nis Cronln of Holt, who received four
votes. Senntor Norvnl served In sen
ate one term thirty-two years ago and
wns n member of tho Inst constitution
nl convention. Ho has lived In Ne
braska for forty-nine years, being a
brother of the late Supreme Judge T.
L. Norvnl,
Walter L. Anderson of Lincoln wus
chosen for speuker of the house on tho
ninth ballot by a vote of 52. Snow, his
chief opponent nnd regarded as a par
ticular McKelvle man, got 40 votes.
Frank P. Corrlck was chosen chief
clerk of the house, with 54 votes, on
the third ballot. O. G. Smith, whoso
nume had been presented tn spite of
the announcement of his withdrawn!,
iormully withdrew on tho second bal
lot from the nice for chief clerk.
George II. Hlgglns of Hurtlngton
was elected sergeunt-at-urmb on the
first ballot. Hlgglns Is a former mom
ber of the Eighty-ninth division and
lost an arm in action Ip France.
James Allen of Omaha was elected as
sistant sergennt-ut-arras by acclnmu
tlon The Rev. J. G. Stanard of Uni
versity Plnce was elected chaplain.
Clyde Barnard of Table Rock wns
elected secretary of the senate for the
third time. H, V. Hongland of Lan
caster county, a former member of the
senate, wns elected sergeant-at-arma.
Rev. A. A. Cressman of Crete' was
elected chuplaln of the senate..
Troublesome Problems for Solons.
A number of problems nre facing the
legislature, some of which aro going
ta bo serious ones, and among them
aro the following:
An antl-clgaret law, forbidding the
sale of clgnrets In Nebraska.
Major changes In the governor's,
code measure of two years ago.
An industrial court law, similar to
the one operating In Kansas at this
time.
Certain nonpartisan league meas
ures. A bill to throw practically all pub
lic utilities Into tho hands of a state
body, stripping municipalities of con
sderablc power.
Relief for farmers endeavoring to
buy nnd pay out on land while prices
for their products are lower than In
yenrs.
Changes In parole and Indetennlnnte
sontence laws.
Anti-cnpltal punishment bill.
Changes In "blue sky" laws.
Lord Mayor of Cork Lands Here.
Newport News, Vn. Peter J. Mac
Swlnoy of New York, brother of tho
late Lord Mayor MacSwlney of Cork,
nnd Dnnlol O'Cnllaghan, lord mayor of
Cork, arrived here as stowaways on
tho American steamer Westcnnnon,
from Cork. Immediately upon arrival
of tho Westcannon, Immigration
auinoriues uiscovcrcn tne two on
hoard and, disregarding tho clnlms of
their identity, had them placed In Jalt
pending Investigation. MacSwlney
carried a passport vised by an Amerl
cau consul. '
Reveals Nation-Wide Whiskey Ring.
Chicago, III. A nation-wide whiskey
ring, backed by prominent persons, In
eluding federal ofllclnls nnd a con
gressman, vltli hondquarters In Chi
cago, Now ork and Jorsey City, was
revealed In documents here when fed
erul officials arrested John. Costello
and John Shen of New York, accord
Ing to Frank D, Richardson, prnhlbl
tlon enforcement supervisor of this
district. It Is said Costello confessed
to tho ramifications of the ring und
gave to the federal ofllclnls the named
of many prominent porsons,
Thieves nre hound to their profes
sion by hooks of steal.
As a means of securing more effect
ive enforcement of laws In Nebraska
and more certnln punishment of those
who violate them, Attorney General
Davis proposes that a bureau of In
vestigation, slmllnr to the United
Stntes secret service, be established as
a branch of his department, and that
he be authorized to employ detectives
for the purpose of making Inquiries
ntid obtaining evidence for prosecu
tion in any pnrt of the state where
the need for their service may arise.
Secretary of State Darius M. Ams
berry bus a prun to amend the election
laws which lie will try to work out In
proper form to present to the legis
lature. He Is a believer In the primary
law and does not caro to change thnt
law. He Is opposed to the old system
of convention nominations, but be
Hqvcs It would bo well to give conven
tious something more to occupy their
time than the pr .ent law allows.
Governor McKelvle announces thnt
there will be no changes In the court
secretaries, and that he will reappoint
them all and present their names for
confirmation -In compliance with the
new law. Louis Home will rcmnln his
prlvnto seerotnry, J. IL Preston, the
recording secretnryj Miss Hazel Nygh
chief stenographer, nnd Miss Gladys
Redmond, stenographer,
If the legislature approves recom
mendations made by State Superin
tendent J. M. Mntzen, tho undent and
once honorable branch of Nebmskn's
educational system known as the
teachers' institute Is doomed.
A rccouuuondutlou that corporations
from other states who do business in
Nebraska bo made to pay higher fees
to the state for licenses to operate,
will be made to tho legislature, by Sec
rotary of State Amsberry.
Tho Nebraska State League of Mu
nlclpalitlcs will not take tiny chances
on tho legislature this year. They will
hold their meeting from January 21
to 2J5, nftor plenty of time has elapsei
by which to Introduce the bills that
they want Into the legislature nnd still
early enough to make up any deflclen
cles before the time limit for the In
troductlon of bills bus passed.
ABigDrop
cJELIrO
0
4T j pacljacjes
The Genesee Pure Food Company;
TT-k '
Jbe .Koy , jn . Y.
o-&3
,TM"" ir-am B"vm statu uvuai a nuu 14C KlCdl UC
' , mand for wheat at high prices. Many
farmer In Wcfm fina, I. , fnm . V. 1 . I
Irom a single crop. The same success may still be
yours, xor you can Duy on easy terms.
Farm Land at $15 fo 30 an inra
.located near thrivinft towns, Rood markets, railways land of a
inn Which (7mwn 4ft In A K hll.1il. . ,L.
Good waxing lands at low prices convenient to your Brain farm en-
.wvjuuiviuvuic piuiiii irom aiocn, raising ana dairying.
Learn the Facts About Western Canada
low taxation (none on improvements), healthful climate, eood
industrious tvnnl.
inrltitrn.ia nr,r.1
iinraiw irceraiora. nupa. description or rsrra op porta nl ties la
fw2.l5EJ:-.8ik,,ttVw.n. ,nl Alberts, reduced railroad rates, etc, writs
Decartocnt ot lauaiaTation. Ottawa. Canada, or '
W. V. BENNETT, Room 4, Bee Building, OMAHA, NEB.
Canadian Government Agent.
Important to Mothers
Examine carefnllv every bottle of
CASTORIA. that famous old remedv
for Infants and children, and see that It
Renrji tho
rrr . r
Suture USZ
In Use for Over 30 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
A College Lad.
"Is he a raw youth?"
"Well, ho wouldn't so consider him
self. Call him a' rah-ruh youth."
Condition to Be Dreaded.
There are worse things than losing
money; you can get It back again; but
when you go bankrupt on peace nnd
contentment, you arc of all men the
most miserable;
No Half Ways for Him.
Mrs. Jones had urrauged to meet
her husband nt a certain store. After
standing ubout for some time she grew
impatient, nnd, thinking thnt he might
have forgotten to meet her, she called
him up nt his place of business. Sup
posing thnt central hnd given her the
right number, she exclnlmcd: "Hello,
Frank, Is that you? I'm nenrly dead."
"Well, madam," camo the reply, "I
guess you have the wrong man. I'm
the undertaker, ond I want them en
tirely dead." Boston Transcript.
Getting Even.
Archie attends onu of the schools
of this city nnd Is thinking seriously
of entering high school In February.
Ho does not approve of woman suffrage.
Ono dny after receiving n lecture
from one of the touchers, ho entered
the room pouting. The teacher asked
him whnt the trouble wns. He replied:
"If tho girls arc going to vote like
the men, I'm going to pout Just like
the girls do."
"Aro you trying tt bo n girl?" asked
his toucher. A giggle wns heard from
every one present. -Indianapolis News.
It Is never too lute to mend, marry
or get n divorce.
Cuticura Comforts Baby's Skin
When red, rough and Itching, with hot
baths of Cuticura Soap and touches of
Cuticura Ointment Also make use
now and then of that exquisitely scent
ed dusting powder, Cuticura Talcum,
one of the indispensable Cuticura
Toilet Trio. Adv.
If n man could only see himself ns
his neighbors see him, ho could easily
see his finish.
His Head Was Turned.
Deck Hand Poor Bill Spoof Is
dead. He broke his neck in sick bay
last night.
Striker Dead! I thought he only
had n light attack of lumbago.
Deck Hand That's right, but the
medico massaged his back with alco
hol and he couldn't resist trying to
lick It off. The Arklight.
Enslaved.
"Our new ofllce boy Is In love with
our prettiest stenographer," remarked
Mr. Dubwalto.
"What are you .going to do about
It?"
"Nothing. I hope he'll remain true
to her. For tho first time slnco he's
been here he's always around when
we want him." Birmingham Ago-llcrnld.
Safety First.
Corporal Sweeney had been detailed
to take his squad of engineers to mop
up after a company of Infantry. Ar
rived at the cellar of an abandoned
chateau he was instructed by his lieu
tenant to go inside, leaving the re
mainder of the squad gathered about
the door to get the fugitives.
"Yes, sir," answered Sweeney obedi
ently. Then, turning to his men, he
added the caution:
"But If more than one mnn comes
out of the cellar, for the Lord's sake,
don't shoot the first one." The Amer
ican Legion Weekly.
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A Ready-Cooked Food
1 For Breakfast or Lunch
Grape -Nuts
Crisp granules of wheat and malt
ed barley "sweet as a nut" from
special processing and long baking.
No need to sprinkle sugar on your
cereal when you use GrapeNut3
"There s a Reason"
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