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About The North Platte semi-weekly tribune. (North Platte, Neb.) 1895-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1915)
THE SEMI-WEEKLY TRIBUNE. NORTH PLATTE, NEBRASKA. 8 ISe Last Shot Dy FREDERICK PALMER m (Copyright, 1811, by Charles Hcilbneft Hons) i; SYNOPSIS. At tliPlr liomo on the frontier br-twron tlio IlrownH and Orayn Marta Oiillimcl and her mother, cntrrtulnlni: Colonel Wtstor llng of tlio Grays, hpo Cnptuln I.ntnitroii of llir- Urowns Injured by a frill In his aeroplane. Ton years lntor. "WcHtorlliiK, nominal vlco hut real chief of stuff, re-on-forceg Bouth 1-a Tlr and meditates on war. Maria tolls him of her teaching children tlio follies of war and martial patriotism, nnd begs him to prevent war while ho In clilot of staff. Lanstron calls on Marta at hnr homo. Sho tolls Ijuiatron that nhu bllovca Foller, tho frardener, to be a spy. Evinatron confesses It U true and shows hor a tolephone which Feller has con cealed In a secret passace under tho towor fr uso to benefit the Browns In war mcnranclos, Lanstron declares Ills love for Marta. Westerllng and tho Grays pro pare plans to use a trivial International arfalr to foment warlike patriotism and ntrlki before declaring war, I'artow, flrown phlef of staff, rovoals his plans to yinstron. mado vlcn chlof. Tho Gray nrmy crosses tho border lino nnd attacks. The Urowns check them. Artillery, In fantry, aeroplanes and dirlRlbles onftaKP. Marta has hnr first gllmpso of war In Us modern, cold, sclontlflc, murderous bru tality. The Urowns fall back to tho Gal U.nd house Marta1 sees a night attack, the Grays attack In force. Feller leaves his secret telephone and kooh hack to his (runs, Hand to lmnd flRhtlnfr. The Urowns rail hack again. Marta asks Iinstron over tho phono to nppeal to I'artow to stop tho fighting, Vandalism In the Galland liouso. westorllnB and his stnft occupy thi Gal land house and ho begins to woo Martn, who apparently throws her fortunes with tho Grays and offers valuable Information. She calls up Ivinstron on thn secret telo Jphono and plans to eIvb Weitterllng Infor mation that will trap tho Gray army. Westerllng forms his plan of atfuPk upon what he trams from her. Tho Grays take Slorrlli'. Through ivlarta Wcsterllng Is led to eencpntrato his attack on tho main lino nt Kngadlr, A leak of Information Is sus pected. Bouchard Is rcltoved as chief In telligence officer nnd In going accuseM Marta. Wcsterllng thinks him crazy. The Orays tako tho apron of Kngadlr. Par tow dies suddenly and Lanstron succeeds htm. CHAPTER XVIII Continued. Far up on a noak among tbo birds and aeroplanes, In a rooted, Bholl-proof chnnibor, with a telephone orderly at bis. side, n powerful pair of fleld-glauRos and range-finders at his elbow, and a toloscopa boforo his eye, Gustnvo Fel ler, ono tlmo gardener nnd now acting eolonol of artillery, watched the burst of flhollB over tho enemy's lines. Whllo othrr mon had grown lean on war, ho had'tnkon on enough flosh to (111 out Its composer, born to the red and bo como Captain Stransky In tho red business of war. It was ho who led tho thunder of Its vorscs. "I cortalnly llko that song," ho said. Well ho might. It find mado him fa mous throughout tho nation. "Thore's Jehovah and brltnstono in it. Now we'll have our own." "llut we're nlwayo losing positions!" complained ono of tho mon. "Llttlo by llttlo they nro getting possession." "They say tho offcnslvo always wins," said another. "Klvo ngalnst threol They count on numbers," said Lieutenant Tom Frnglnl. "Thero you go, Toral Any othor posslmluts or anarchists wnnt to bo heard?" called out Stransky. "Just how long, nt tho present rate, will It tako them to got tho whole rango? Thoro's n limit to tho number of oven five millions," Then tho telephono In tho redoubt brought somo news. Tho stuff begged to Inform tho army that tho enemy's casualties In tho Inst threo days had been two hundred thousand 1 Immedi ately ovorybody was talking at onco In Slransky'n parliament, as ho somo times called that compnny of which ho was, In tho final nnnlysls, unlimited monarch. "How do they know?" , "Do you think It's fake?" "That sums up to pretty near a mil lion!" "My God! Think of It n million!" "Wo'ro whittling thorn down!" "It doesn't innko any difference whothor I'artow or Lantron 3 'chlof of staff!" "Thoy'ro paying!" "Paying for our fellows that they've killed! Paying for being In tho wrong!" Stransky, his eyes drawing Inward In their characteristic slant, was well pleased with his company, nnd tho ecnttorod exclamatory badinage kept on until It was interrupted by tho ar rival of tho mall. Partow and Lan stron, understanding their mnchlno ns human in Its elomcnts, had chosen that tho army should hear from home. "How'e this!" oxclnlmcd ono man, rending from a newspaper, "Thoy'ro going to put up a statuo of Partow in tho capital! It's to show him ns ho died, dropped forward on tho map, and In front of his desk n field of bayonets. On ono fnco of tho base will bo his name. Two of tho other faces will have God with us I' and 'Not for thelrB, but for ours!' Tho legend on tho fourth fnco tho war Is to decide." "Victory! Victory!" cried thoso who had listened to the announcement. Stransky wns thinking that they hnd to do moro than hold tho Grnye. Doforo ho should seo his girl they had to tako back tho lost territory. Ho carried two pictures of Minna in his mind: ono when sho hnd stnick him In tho faco as ho tried to kiss her and tho other ns ho nld good-by at tho kitchen door. Thoro was not much oncourngomont In either. "Ilut when sho gets bettor acquaint ed with mo thero'o no telling!" ho kopt thinking. "I waH lighting out of cus seduces at first. Now I'm fighting for hor and to "keep what is oural" CHAPTER XIX. "Tho nrmy 1b yours, Wcsterllng," concluded tho premier. "I ndmlro your stolidity of purposo. You havo my con fidence. I shnll wait and hold tho situ ation at homo tho best I can. Wo go Into tho hall of fnmo or Into tho gut ter together, you nnd II" For a whllo after ha had hung up tho receiver Wcsterllng'a head drooped, his muscles rotated, giving mind nnd body a release from tension. Hut his splno was as stiff as ovor as ho left tho closet, and ho was oven smiling to glvo tho impression that tho nows from tho capital was favor able. When ho called his chiefs of divi sion it was hardly for a staff council. Stunned by tho losses and repulses, loyally Industrious, their opinions un nsked, they listened to his whirlwind of orders without comment all except Turcas. "If thoy are apprised of our plnn and nro ablo to concontrnto moro artillery than our guns can silence, tho losses will bo demoralizing," ho observed. Wcsterllng throw up his head, frown ing down tho objection. "Supposo thoy amount to halt tho forces that wo send In!" ho exclaimed. "Isn't tho position, which means tho pnBfl and tho range, worth It?" "Yes, if wo both tako nnd hold It; not if wo fall," roplled Turcas, qulto unaffected by Westerllng's manner. "Failure is not in my lexicon!" Wcs terllng shot back. "For great gains thoro must bo great rlBks." "Wo prcpnro for tho movement, your excellency," answered Turcas. It wns a stool harness of his own will that Wcsterllng woro, without ad mitting that It galled him, and ho laid It off only In Maria's presenco. With her, his growing sonso of Isolation had tho relief of companionship, Sho bo came a kind of mirror of his egoism and ambitions. Ho liked to havo hor think of him as a great man unruffled nmong weaker men. In tho quiet and seclusion of tho garden, Involuntarily as ono who has no confidant speaks to hlmsolf, reserving fortltudo for hie pnrt beforo tho staff, whllo sho, under tho spell of her purposo, silently, with sorcno and wistfully listening eyes played hers, ho outlined how tho ilnal and tolling blow was to bqsstruck. "Wo must and wo shall win!" ho kopt repeating. Through a rubber disk held to his car in mo cioset or me bedroom a volco, tremulous with nervous fatlguo, was giving Lanstron news that all his aircraft and cavalry and spies could' not havo gained; news worth moro than a scoro of regimonts; news fresh from tho Hps of tho chief of staff of tho enemy. Tho attack was to bo mndo at tho right of Engadlr, lis con' tor breaking from tho redoubt manned by Fracasse'o mon. "Marta, you gonluBl" Lanstron cried "You aro tho real gonoral! You " "Not that, please!" sho broko In "I'm as foul and depraved as n dealor In subtle poisons In tho mlddlo ages! Oh, tho shamo of It, whllo I look Into hlB oyes nnd folgn admiration, feign ovorythlng which will draw out his plans! I can never forgot tho sight of him ob ho told mo how two or threa or four hundred thousand mon wero to bo crowded Into a ram, as ho called it a ram of human flesh! and guns enough In support, ho said, to tear any rodoubts to pieces; gunB enough to Tho Ram. In tho closet off tho Galland library, whoro tho long-dlBtanco tolophono wns mako tholr shells ns thick as tho bul Watched the Bursting or Shells Over the Enemy's Lines. bio wrinkles around his oyes that fthono with an artist's onjoymont of his work. Down under cover of tho ridgo were his guns, tho koys ot tho fenutrumont that ho played by calls anror tho wlro. Tholr barking was a Uymphony to his oars; errors of or thcatratlon wero errors in aim. Ho talked as ho watched, his Uvoly fea tures rcfloctivo of his Impressions. "Oh, prottyt IUght luto their turn nloal Right in tho nosol La, la, la! But that's offnnd bo's that! Tell battery 0 thoy'ro fifty yardB over. Oh, bcatfy-oyed gods and shiny llttlo llslioa .two smacks In tho eamo spot! Humph! Toll Buttery 0 that tho troublo with that nm Is worn rifling; that's why it's going short. Elovnto It for another hundred yards but it ought not to wear out so soon. I'd llko to kick tho maker or tho inspector. Tho tallows in I) 21 will uccuso us ot Inat tention. It's tlmo to drop a shell on installed, Wcsterllng wns talking with tho premier in tho Gray capital. "Your total casualties aro eight hun dred thousand. That Is terrific, Wcs terllng!" tho promler was snylng. "Only two hundrod thousand of thoso aro dead!" replied Wcsterllng. "Many with only slight wounds nro alrondy roturnlng to tho front. Tor rifle, do you say? Two hundred thou sand In flvo millions is ono man out of twonty-flvo. That wouldn't havo worried Frederick tho Great or Napo leon much. Eight hundred thousand is ono out ot six. Tho troublo Is that uch vast armies havo novor been on gagod boforo. You must consider tho porcontagos, not tho totals." "Yet, eight hundred thousand! If tho public know!" exclaimed tho pro mler. "Tho public does not know!" said Wcsterllng. "Thoy guoes. They reallzo that wo stopped tho soldiers' letters becauso thoy told bad nows. Tho situation is serious." "Why not glvo tho public something to think about?" Wcsterllng demanded. "1'vo trlod. It doesn't work. Tho murmurs lucroaso. I repeat, my fenrs of a rising ot tho women aro well grounded. Thoro is mutiny in tho air. I tool it through tho columns ot tho proBB, though thoy aro consorcd. 1 " "Then, soon I'll glvo tho public some thing to think about, mysolf 1" Wester ling broko In. "Tho tlond will bo for gotten. Tho woundod will bo proud of tholr wounds and their fathers and mothers triumphant when our army dosconds tho othor sldo of tho rango and starts on Its march to tho Browns' capital." "But you havo not yot taken a slnglo fortress 1" persisted tho premier. "And tho Drowns report that thoy havo lost only throo hundred thousand mon." "Lanstron la lying!" retorted Wcs terllng hotly. "But no matter. Wo havo tnkon positions with ovory at tack and kopt crowding in closer. I UBk nothing hotter than that tho tobein to Bhow wo'ro perfectly Impartial Browns romaln on tho dofonslvo, lenV' lng lnltintlvo to us. Wo hnvo devel oped tholr weak points. Tho rcsoluto offoiiBlvo always wine. I know whoro I am going to attack; thoy do not. I shall not glvo thorn tlmo to rolnforco tho dotonso at our chosen point I havo still plenty of live soldlors loft. I shall go in with men enough this tlmo to win and to hold," In our favors. La. la. la! Oh. what si protty smack! Congratulations!" B 21 was tho position of FrncaBso's teompuny and tho pretty smack tho ono that broko ono man's arm and crushed another's head. i The "God with usl" Bong was slngu parly suited to the groat, bull volco ot lots from nn automatic!" "We'll meet ram with ram! We'll havo somo guns, too!" exclaimed Lan stron. "Wo'll send as heavy a shell flro at their Infantry ne they send into our rodoubts." "Don't. It's too llko Wcsterllng. It has become too tritol" sho protested "Tho ond! If I really wore helping toward that and to savo lives and our country to Us pooplo, what would my private feelings matter? My honor, my soul what would anything mat ter? For that, any sacrifice. I'm only ono human being n weak, luna tic sort ot ono, JUBt now!" "Marta, don't suffer so! You aro overwrought. You " "I can say all that for you, Lanny," sho Interrupted with tho falntost laugh, "l'vo eald It so mnny tlmos to myself. Perhaps when I call you up again I shall not bo so hysterical." Lanstron was not thinking ot war or war's combination when ho hung up tho receiver. It was somo moments boforo ho returned to tho staff room, and thou ho had mastered his emo tion. He was the yjldlor again. An hour or so beforo tho attack the telegraph Instruments in tho Galland houso had becomo pregnantly ellont. Thoro woro ho moro orders to give; no moro reports to como from tho I troops In position until tho aBsault was made. Ofncors ot supply ceased to transmit routlno mattoTs ovor tho wlro, whllo thoy strained tholr oyes townrd tho range. O Ulcers ot the staff moved about restlessly, glnnclng at their watches and going to tho windows fre quently to seo It tho mist still hold. No ono entered tho llbrnry whoro WcBtorllng was seated alono with nothing to do. Ills susponso was that of tho mothers who longed for news ot tholr sons at tho front; hit) helplosB ncss that ot a man In a hospital lobby waiting on tho result of an operation whoso success or failure will savo or wreck his career, Tho physical deslro ot movement, tho conflict with some thing in his own mind, drovo hlra out ot doors. Wcsterllng was rather pleased with tho fact that ho could still smllo; pioasoa wun tno loyalty or younger ofncors when, day by dny, tho Btatl had grown colder and moro me chanical In tho attltudo that com' plotod his Isolation. Walking vigor ously along tho path toward tho towor, tlio oxerclso of his muscles, tho fool of tho cool, moist air on bis faco. brought back somo of tho buoyancy ot spirit that he craved, A woman'a fig ure, with a capo thrown over tho shoul ders and tho head bare, loomed out of tho mist. "I couldn't stay In not to-night," Marta said as Wcsterllng drow near. 'I had to seo. It's only a quartor of an hour now, Isn't it?" Sho seemed so uttorly frail and distraught that Westorllng, In an im- pulso of protection, laid his hand on her relaxed shouldors. "Our causo is at stako to-night," ho declared, "yours and mine! Wo must win, you and I! It is our destiny!" "You and I!" repeated Mnrtn. "Why you and I?" It seemed very strange to bo think ing of any two persons when hundreds of thousands wero awaiting tho slgnnl for tho death proparod by him. Ho mistook the character of her thought in tho obsession of his egoism. What do lives mean?" ho cried with a sudden dcsporatlon, his grip of hor shoulders tightening. "It Is the law of nature for man to light. Unless ho fights ho goes to seod. Ono troublo with our army Is that it was soft from tho want of war. It Is tho law ot na turo for tho fittest to survive! Othor sons will bo born to tako tho place of those who dlo to-night. Thero will bo nil tho moro room for those who Hvo. Victory will creato new opportunities. What Is a million out of tho billions on tho faco of the earth? Those who lead alono count thoso who dwnll In tho ntmosphcro of tho peaks, as wo do!" Tho pressuro of his strong hands in tho unconscious emphasis of his passion became painful; but sho did not protest or try to draw away, think ing of his hold In no personal sense but as a part of his solf-revelatlon. "All all Is at stako there!" ho continued, Btnrlng toward tho range. "It's tho Rubicon! I havo put my career on to night's cast! Victory means that tho world will bo at our feet honor, po sition, power greator than that of any other two human beings! Do you reallzo what that means tho honor and the power that will bo ours? I shall havo directed th6 greatest army tho world has ever known to victory!" "And defeat means what does de feat mean?" sho asked narrowly, calm ly; and tho pointed question released her shoulders from tho vise. What had been a shadow In his thoughts becamo a Hvo monster, strlk lng him with tho forco ot a blow. Ho forgot Marta. Yes, what would do feat mean to him? Sheer human na ture broko through tho bonds of men tal discipline weakened by sleepless nights. Convulsively his head dropped as ho covered his faco. "Defeatl Fa.111 That I should fall!" ho moaned. Then It was that sho saw hlra in tho reality of his littloness, which sho had divined; this would-bo conqueror. She saw him nu his intimates ofton eeo tho great man without his front of Jove. Don't wo know that Napoleon had-mo ments of privacy when ho whined and threatened sulcldo? Sho wondered if Lanny, too, wero llko that If it wero not tho naturo of all conquorors who could not havo their way. It seemed to hor that Westorllng was beneath tho humblest private In his army bo neath oven that fellow with tho liver patch on his cheek who had broken tho chandollor In tho' sport of brutal passion. All sonso of her own part was submerged In tho sight of a chief of staff exhibiting no moro stoicism than a potulant, spoiled schoolboy. While his head was still bent tho ar tillery began Its crashing thunders and tho sky becamo light with flashee. His hands strotched out townrd tho range, clenched and pulsing with defiance and command. "Go in! Go In, as I told you!" he cried. "Stay in, alive or dead! Stay till I toll you to como out! Stay! 1 can't do any moro! You must do It nowl" "Then this may bo truly tho end," thought Marta, "if tho assault falls." And sllontly sho prayed that It would fall; whllo tho flashes lighted Wester llng'a set features, Imploring success. In tho Browns' headquarters, as In tho Grays', telegraph instruments woro silent after tho preparations wero over. Here, also, officers walked restlessly, glancing nt tholr watches. They, too, woro glad that tho mist continued. It meant no wind. When tho telegraph did speak it wan with another mcssago from somo aerostatic ollicer saying, "Still favorable," which was taken at onco to Lanstron, who was with tho staff chiefs around tho big table. They nodded nt tho nows and smiled to ono another; and somo who had been pac lng sat down nnd others rose to begin pacing afresh. "Wo could havo omplnced two lines of automatics, ono above tho othor 1" exclaimed tho chief of artillery. "But that would have given too much of a climb for tho infantry in going in delayed tho rush," said Lanstron. "It thoy should stick It wo couldn't drlvo thom back!" oxclalmcd tho vice chlof of staff. "I don't think thoy will!" said Lan stron. To tho others ho seemed ns cool as ovor, even when his maimed hand was twitching In his pocket. But now, sud donly, his eyes starting ns at a horror, ho trembled passionately, his head dropping forward, as If ho would col lapso. "Oh, tho murder of It tho murdor! ho broathed. "But thoy brought It on!,' Not for theirs, but for ours!" said tho vlco chief of staff, laying his hand on Lau stron's shoulder. "And wo sit hero whllo thoy go In!" Lanstron nddod. "Thoro's a kind of lnjustlco about that which I can't get ovor. Not ono of us hero has been under urol" Evan tho minute of tho attack they know; and just beforo midnight thoy wero standing nt tho window looking out into tho night, whllo tho vlco-chtot held his watch In hand. In tlio hush tho faint sound of a dirigible's propel- lor high up In tho heavens, muffled by tho fog, was drowned by tho Gray guns opening flro. Boforo tho mlno oxplodod, by the light of tho shell burets breaking tholr vast prisms from central spheres of flame for miles, with tho quick bo- queuco of a movlng-plcturo flicker, Fracasse's men could sco ono another's faces, spectral and stiff and pasty whlto, with teeth gleaming whoro Jaws had dropped, somo cyce half closed by tho blinding flashes and somo opened wldo as if the lids wero paralyzed. Faces and faces! A sea ot faces stretching away down tho slope faces in a trance. Up over tho breastworks, over rocks and splintered timbers. Peterkin and tho Judge's Bon nnd their comradee clnmbored. When they moved thoy wero ns a myriad-logged creaturo, brain numbed, without any sensation except that ot rnplds going ovor a fall. Thoso In front could not falter, being pushed on by tho pressuro of thoso In tho rear. For a fow stops thoy wero under no fire. Tho scream of tholr own shells breaking In infernal pande monium in front seomed to bo a power as irresistible as tho rear ot tho wedgo In driving them on. Then sounds moro hideous than tho flight of projectiles broko about them with tho abruptness of lightnings held In thq hollow of tho Almighty's hand nnd suddenly released. Tho Browns' guns had opened lire. Explosions were even swifter In sequenco than the flashes that revealed tho stark faces. Dust and stones anil flying fragments of llcah flllotl tho air. Mon went down In positive paralysis of faculties by tho terrific crashes. Sections of tho ram wero blown to pieces by tho burst of a shrapnel shoulder high; other sec tionB wero luted Heavenward by a shell burst in tho earth. Peterkin fell with a piece of jagged steel embedded in his brnin. Ho had. gone from tho quick to tho dead so swiftly that ho novor know that his charm had failed. Tho same explosion got Fracasse, sword in hand, and an other burled him where ho lay. Tho banker's son went a llttlo farther; tho barber's son still farther. Men who wero alive hardly realized life, so mixed wero Hfo and death. Infornal imagination goes faint; its wildest similes grow feeble nnd banal beforo such a consummation of hell. But tho tide keeps on; tho torn gaps of tho ram aro filled by tho rushing legs from the rear. Ofllcers urge and lead. Such are tho orders; such Is tho duty prescribed; such is human bravery even in these days when Hfo is sweeter to moro men In tho joys of mind and body than ovor before. Pro clslon, organization, solidarity In this charge such as tho days of tho "death or-glory" boys never knew! Over the bodies of Peterkin and tho barber's and tho banker's sons, plunging through shell craters, stumbling, stag goring, cut by swaths and torn by eddies of rod destruction In their ranks, tho ,tldo proceeded, until its hosts woro oftener treading on flesh thnn on soil. And all they know was to keep on keep on, bayonet in "hand till they reached tho redoubt, and thero they wero to stay, alive or dead. "After hell, moro hell, and then still moro hell!" was tho way that Stransky expressed his thought when tho en glncors had taken tho placo ot tho C3d of tho Browns In tho redoubt. They put their minus nnd connections deep enough not to be disturbed by shell flro. After tho survivors In the van of tho Grays' charge, spent of breath reached their goal and threw them solves down, tho earth under them, as tho mlno exploded, split nnd heaved henvonward. But thoso In the rear, slapped in tho faco by tho concussion kept on, driven by tho pressuro of tho mass at their backs, and, In turn plunged forward on their stomachs In tho seams and furrows of tho mine's havoc. Tho mass thickened as tho flood of bodies and legs banked up, In keep ing with Westerllng's plan to hnvo enough to hold." . (TO BIS CONTINUED.) A GREAT HELP IN STOMACH ILLS f you suffer from Poor Ap petite, Sick Headache, Bloat ing, Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Cramps or Constipation you, will be greatly benefited by a fair trial of HOSTETTER'S Stomach Bitters The digestive system has be come weak and Nature needs assistance right away. The Bitters has for over 60 years been recognized as the real "hrst-aid." Trv a bott e. The genuine has our pri vate stamp over neck. The Lush In Luscious. 'Why do they call tho oyster a luscious bivalve?" "Is not It customary to refer to In toxicating beverages as lush?" asked tho learned but unsophisticated citi zen. "Yes." "Then 'luscious bivalve, no doubt. rofcrs to tho oyster cocktail." True Generosity. Mary Did you give anything to tho poor this winter? Hazejl Yes; I gave my old shoes. Mary Well, thero's nothing small about that kind of charity. Smile, smile, 1 beautiful clear white clothes. Red Cross Ball Blue, American made, therefore best. All grocers. Adv. In the German empire two sets of twins aro born every hour. It's Foolish to Suffer You may bo bravo enough to stand backache, or headache, or dizziness. But if, in addition, ur ination Is disordered, look out! If you don't try to fix your sick kidneys, you may fall Into the clutches of kidney trouble beforo you know It. But If you live more carefully and help your kidneys with Doan's Kldnoy Pills, you can stop tho pains you havo and avoid future danger as well. A Nebraska Case Samuel Blxler, Gor don, Neb., says: "Four years' service in the army left mo with a chronic caso of kldnoy complaint. I had to get up at night to pass tho kidney secro tlons and my wholo body nehed. My joints o.vnUfl.l ntlfl T llflft 5 t3L fainting spells. Doan's Kianey nils navo corrected theso ali ments and J can't bo too grateful." Get Doan'a at Any Store. SOe Box DOAN'S1" rOSTER-MILBURN CO., BUFFALO. K. Y. Poor Mrs. Smith. A minister was recounting somo of his amusing experiences in marrying people. "There's an old custom," said he, "that the bridegroom shall kiss tho brldo Immodlately after the marriage ceromony Is over. Its a good, practical custom, for It serves moro handily than anything elso that know of to dissipate tho awkward . . . i . i . pause mat aimosi niwayH iuhuwb u simple, Informal ceremony. For this reason I keep the custom alive. '.'One dny a man whom I shall call Smith camo to tho parsonage to ne married. Mr. Smith wassa pompous, consequential llttlo man.i Tho pros pective Mrs. Smith was a fine, win some girl. After tho ceromony, Mr smith, in snlto of his pomposity, did not seem to know Just what was the next thlug to do, bo, as is my prac Hm in such emergencies, I said: 'My dear sir, it Is your privilege to salute tho bride.' Ho turned around ana ox' tending his hand formally, said: 'Mrs, Smith, I congratulate you.' " Barber's Story Record. During a Portland (Me.) barber's RO vnnrn In business ho has had one workman who has Borved for 10 yoars This workman has kept a record ot tho number of tlmos tho employer tells his stories. Ono story which ho thinks his boBt one ho hns told 2.7CG times, and says It cots Hotter over tlmo bo tells U. Rheumatism Juat put a few drops of Sloan'a on tho painful spot and tho pain otops. It is really wonderful Low quickly Sloan'a acts. No need to rub it in laid on lightly it penetrates to tho bono and brings relief at once. Kills rheumatic pain instantly. Mr. James B. AlaanSer, ot North narpnetU, He., vrita: "Mnny atralna In my back and hips brought on rheu matism in tUb Bciatio nerve. I bad it bo bad ono cimit when attting la my chair, that I had to Jump on my feet to set relief. I at ones applied your Liniment to tbo nuecteu part ana in leas uicn ten minutes it wai perfectly easy. I think it U the best of all Liniments I havo oter used.'; LINIMENT Kills Pain At all dealers, 25c. Send four cents in stamp (or a TRIAL BOTTLE Dr. Earl S. Sloan, Inc. Dept. B. Philadelphia, Pa. BUCK LEG LOSSES SURELY PREVENTED pnevu. iron, (vu.uiv. vie Western Btockmf n. because CuttiHa Blatkliif Pills. Low- deed, freih. reliable: preferred t VeaLem atcjckmen. because thtv pretsct where other vacelnti ran. Write for booklet and trttlioonlals. lO.doie pits. Dleckltg Pills 11.00 SO-dois pkos. Blacklsi Pills 4.00 Hie an? Interior, but (Miter's beat. Tna superiority of Outur products Is dus to oier IS years of specialtilng In setlns and serum only. I stilt sa Cuttsr's. If Unobtainable, order dlrart. Tbi Cuttsr Labcrstory. Bcrkilsy. Gil or Chlsue. Ill