THE 8EMI.VVEEKLY TRIBUNE. NORTH PLATTE. NEBRASKA.
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Great Excitement, But the Goat Was Serene
WASHINGTON. This Is about a lnwyor and a goat. Not tho lawyer'n goat,
but a real Hilly that belonged to a boy. All the lawyer had to do with
It was to tell what happened to show tho sorenlty of a goat when subjected
to excitement. And as a serene goat
jCr- vGy taixz
--YJV &-! v CtsS&t--flFm.
wSiImhMHH
street. And ho wouldn't budgo.
Tho conveyance to which ho was hitched a box on wIicoIb, 1914 model
was crowded with sections of six small boyB whoso logs wero dangling out
side. They urged and besecched, cajolod, threatened and whacked, but tho
goat calmly chewed his gum and stayed put.
There's never any tolling what goes on under the horns of a billy goat
In the brains we don't concede him.
Perhaps he had a hunch that his one best way to get rid of hauling six
boys was to refuse to haul one. So he stood and stood and stood, until
Tho composite banker, broker, corporation lawyer and early bird capital
ist canned In his nifty machlno had blocked the asphalt, and the stroot was
fringed with moro everyday humans, who will have to walk until thoy acqulro
wings. No reference whatever to airships. Then a blue cloth guardian of
Ihe law breezed Into the foreground and
(lot his goat.
Call Kjji. . the Story Teller in Chief to the House
,NB funny story In one ton-mlnuto speech, by all tradition, unwritten rules
vl and precedent of tho house of representatives, Is amply sufficient. But
since this administration has set its face against following precedent, Tom
Heflln, representative from Alabama
nnd story teller in chief to tho house,
has started out loyally to upset tradi
tion. Ho has takon to tolling two sto
ries Instead of one In tho time men
tioned. Hero aro two samples Mr.
Heflln recently Interjected into do
bate: "A fellow had lost an eya, and ho
said to tho surgeon, 'Doc, I have just
naturally got to havo another eye, and
I don't want any glass cyo. I want a
flesh eyo.' Tho doctor replied, '1 can
put a cat's eyo in for you. Tho man said, 'All right, JUBt so 1 can see
with It.' ,
"So tho surgeon very skilfully transplanted tho cat's eye in tho placo of
tho one tho man had lost In about three months tho surgeon saw his pa
tient and said, 'Bill, how is your oyoT' Bill roplled, 'Well, Doc, It Is all right,
1 guess. The only objection I have got to tho darned thing Is that it is al
ways looking for crickets and mice "
Tho socond one:
"On one occasion a dyspeptic preacher went home with a member of his
church for dinner. Tho good wlfo had prepared a feast fit fort tho Eods.
Thero was fried chicken, round, robust biscuits, red ham swimming in red
gravy and tho finest coffee that over flowed from a spout Tho good lady
was Justly proud of what she had spread before tho parson.
"Bud, tho nlno-yoarold son, with fork In hand, was Just ready to do bat
tle with tho good things beforo him, when his mother said, "Parson, won't
you havo somo of tho chicken?' To their surprise and the utter bewilderment
of Bud, tho parson replied, 'No; f never eat chicken.'
"Tho good lady then asked, Parson, havo a ploco of ham.' But the par
son answered, 'No, 1 dare not eat ham Bud dropped hln fork.
"The good lady then said, 'Won't you have a biscuit?' and the parson
replied, 'Did you use soda In tho composition of thoBO biscuits? Well, then,
I cannot eat biscuits made with soda.'
"Bud, In wide-eyed astonishment, looked at his mother and exclaimed,
with anger and earnestness, 'Ma, maybe tho darned old fooi would suck a
raw egg J"
How a North Carolina Moonshiner Won His Case
REPRESENTATIVE K. W. POU of North Carolina tells a good one on him
self. He says: "In my homo cpunty was a man by the name of Reaves,
who was indicted for a violation of tho revenue laws, and retained mo to
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Afc ysy l V "When the court was opened by
tho marshal Reaves JumLSd up and
made a Bpectaclo of himself by calling out foolish statements. As tho Judgo
would havo to take action, 1 roso and told the judgo that he could see for
himself that my client was not a responsible person; so the case wbb nolle
iwrossod and Reaves told to go and sin no more.
"Sovoral years later, when I was the prosecuting attorney, I found' that
Reaves had been up to his old trickB and was In court for trial on another
violation of Uio rovenuo laws. When he took the stand I asked him the fol
Uowlng questions:
'You havo frequently been indicted for this offense?'
" 'You ought to know,' replied Reaves. 'You were my lawyer.
"'Yes,' I returned, 'but did yod not go In court and play tho fool to get
out of troublo?'
" "No, sir,' said Reaves, quickly. 'As for playing tho fool. It was yon. sir.
did that!"
Why John Sharp Williams Never Joined theArmy
SENATOR JOHN SHARP WILLIAMS was never In the Confederate army.
But tho fanlt is not his, He started with tho best intentions, as well aa
with a knapsack tilled with a good lunch. Tho war was at Its height when
ho was a big boy of eleven, and as
his father was In the army, and doz
ens of friends and relatives had gone
forth to battle against tho dreaded
"Yank," John Sharp ono night decided
that his country called him to arms.
Tho fact that ho was only eleven, and
about tho only road he know was that
to tho candy shop, did not deter him.
Out in tho darkness of tho night the
"call" of his country sounded as loud W J)jl l )
aa the dinner horn to hungry hands ,tJl tmlkQBkmQdQ-.
In tho harvest field.
So young Williams arose and sot forth down tho road lu the early dawn.
And as ho tramped down the lanos of dust, past tho still farmhouses over
whlph hung tho early smoko from tho kitchen chimney, ho dreamed dreams
of how he would icomo back on a prancing charger covorod with glory, goro
and1 gold laco. Thon suddenly behind him ho hoard tho lopo of an approach
ing, horscirian. Looking back, ho saw It was old Uncle Zoph on tho blind
mule. Uncle Zoph pulled up the mulo with a Jerk bosldo his young master.
j'Mohu, yonr maw Bays as how you better bo glttln' back homo In a hurry.
Sim ain't er goln tor Btand fur no slch goln's on!" oxploded Zoph. "You jest
cilia' up here 'hind mo on dls mulo and he'll toto us homo tor breakfast!"
Isn't an ovoryday affair, hero goes:
Scene, Massachusetts avenue ni
it entnrn Scott clrnlo. Hour, nbout
0:1G, when bankers, brokers, corpora
tion lawyers nnd capitalists of early
bird habits wore whizzing downtown
In their limousines, louring cars and
what not which means any vohlcle
abovo a street car until thoy came
to tho goat.
Ho was on tho wrong sldo of the
defend him. As he was regarded as a
weak-minded man, the Judges were
disposed to be loniont, though the evi
dence was conclusive b to his guilt,
"I told Reaves that he must act
as foolish as ho could In order to help
n,a ca8Q So on tno day tn c&b wa
lTloa iioaves appeared In court It
was tt roa8t,nK Bummer day wearing
a heavy overcoat buttoned no to his
throat.
Htt n)
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fROAD
BUILDING
MAINTENANCE OF DIRT ROAD
Great Care Should Be Taken to Work
Out an Efficient Systom of Drain-
age for Highways.
(By JOSEPH l TDK PnATT. North Car
ollnu. Statu QeoloRlot.)
Tho dirt road Is more susceptible to
damage by water than, of courso, any
of tho specially surfacod roade; there
fore, great care should bo taken to
work out an efficient system of drain
ago for the road. Water must be kept
away from tho road, and the rain
which falls on tho road must bo per
mitted to run off as rapidly as pos
sible, and by a very easy grade. It
must not only be taken off the surfaco
of the road aa rapidly as post '.bio, but
also out of the side ditches. Care
should be taken that these side ditches
are not too steep, and that every op
portunity Is seized for turning the
wat,er out of the ditches into the ad
Joining fields.
Many of our country roads are bad
because In their construction no ar
rangement was made for taking care
of tho water, und thus they aro very
muddy and filled with ruts and holes.
Instead of the middle of the road be
ing higher than tho edges, so that the
water can readily run off on each side,
many of them are flat, or even con
cave, with the center of tho road the
lowest point. If tho road has been
constructed so that it Is well crowned,
with tho slope about one in twenty
from tho center of the road to the side
ditches, and these ditches havo been
graded so as to readily take caro of
tho water, and yet not steep enough
to cause them to cut deep gullies on
the side of tho road, and If the water
is taken from these ditches at every
available point so as to prevent seep
age of water under the surface of the
road, thero should be little difficulty
in keeping the road in good condition.
Very often It ie necessary to carry tho
water from ono side of the road to tho
other; and when this Is necessary, It
should be done by means of either
concrete, motal or terra cotta culverts
or pipes which will carry tho water
under the surface of the road. After
tho system of drainage has been in
stalled, provision should bo made to
keep it up, so that the drains nnd the
culverts will not become stopped up.
The surface of a dirt road should be
kept of dirt, and whenever any holes
or ruts have developed In the road,
they should not bo filled up with Btone,
or brush, but with dirt, and with dirt
as nearly as possiblo of tho same char
acter as tho dirt composing tho sur
face of tho balance of the road. If, on
the other band, boles or rutB aro filled
with rock, gravel or brush, the wear
ing effect vwill bo uneven, and the
wheels will begin to scoop out holes
just beyond or on tho opposite side ol
the road from tho hole filled up. It
thero aro stumps or rocks In the road,
thoy should all bo removed, so that the
dirt surfaco can be smoothed over and
brought to on ovon slope from the cen
ter to the ditches. After the road has
been well constructed and tho right
slopo and surfaco obtained, It can be.
kept In this condition very readily by
judicious application of the split-log or
King drag.
MACHINE FOR MAKING ROADS
Wheeled Frame and Shovel Scraper
Adjusted to Remove Surface of
Soil When Moved.
Tho Scientific American In describ
ing a grading scraper, the Invention ol
J. F. Thomas and J. Haney of Odessa
Minn., Bays:
"The object of tho Inventors Is to
provide a wheeled frame and a shovel
scraper adjustably mounted In the
f..o in bhoU a mnnnnr that It mnv h
Grading Scraper.
caused to scrapo and remove tho sur
face of tho soil beneath the frame
whon the latter 1b moved, and may b6
furthor adjustod to a position wherolr
Its contents may bo either dumped as t
wholo or graduully leveled out aftei
transportation to a desired point,"
USE OF WIDE WAGON TIRES
Makes Hauling Easier and Improves
and Packs RofcJa Rather Than
Cutting Rwta In Them.
(By A. F. WOODS.)
Tho uso of wldo tires on. wagons has
mado hauling easier and Improved and
packed rather thnn cut rutB In thft
roads. Thu farmer who still uses nar
row tires for heavy loads Is not only
wasting tlmo and horso energy, but la
guilty of cruelty to animals and the
destruction of tho public highways.
Tho relation botween weight of load
and width of tiro and tho maintenance
of roads in each section should be
carofully considered and fixed by local
regulations.
gKnciing
Work In trs nrtlst that builds a
splendid nrch; worry, tho onemy
which removro the kcyntone, allow
ing the strncturo fall.
HOUSEKEEPING HINTS.
When you aro roabtlng or baking
set tho alarm clock at tho timo you
desire to look at your dishes and you
can freely give your mind to other
work.
Put a silver knife In a glnsa fruit
Jar down into the fruit to let out every
bit of air. See that the knife Is well
scalded and clean.
After tho rubber ahd lid has been
placed on a jar and screwed as tightly
na possible with tho ban
dlo of a knife or fork,
press tho edge of tho ltd
down all around, pressing
llrmly dqwn on the rub
ber. You will never havo
a leaky jar If you have
good rubbers and tops
well put on.
When wiping tho Jars uso a special
cloth for tho purpose, not tho dish
cloth. A delicious sandwich filling is
chopped almonds which havo been
blanched and two partB of finely
chopped celery with a dash of salt
nnd a little mayonnaise dressing.
Flour sacks mako good dlsb tow
els. To remove the lettering rub well
with soap and put Into cold water
with a Httlo kerosene. The paint will
soften and often one boiling will do
the work. If not entirely removed,
soap again and boll up once more.
Rinse and hang out on the line.
Kerosene will clean porcelain like
magic. Rub the surface to bo cleaned
with a cloth dampened with kero
sene, and It will not injure the sur
face. Rub tho cork: which 1b used in the
glue or cement bottle with vaseline,
and it will always bo removed easily.
Waxed paper is a great convenience
in the home. It will preserve eat
ables from the air and keep them
moist.
It Is Indispensable In the lunch bas
ket. Cheese well wrapped In waxed
paper will keep moist and eatable.
Fruit wrapped in it will keep fresh,
and If kept on ice will be most attrac
tive when served.
Try using a small piece of mosquito
netting basted under tho large hole
of the child's stocking and weave the
darning cotton in and out of its
meshes. This will prove a great help
to a tired mender of many hose.
Economy no more means Raving
money than upending money. It
means spending nnd saving, wheth
er time, money or anything elso, to
tho best possible advantage. John
IUiskln.
EASY DESSERT8.
Thero is no dessert which Is easier
mado than the frozen one, especially
that which needs no stirring In the
freezer. The following one is a great
favorite with those who are fortunate
enough to have tho recipe.
Take tho Juice of .two oranges, two
lemons, two cupfuls of sugar, two cup
fuls of milk, and two cupfulB of cream,
mix well and stir slowly In the freezer
at first. Let stand ,to ripen for two
hours or more after freezing.
Cherry Parfalt. Cook two cupfuls
of sugar and a cupful of wnter to
gether until It
threads, pour this
hot sirup over tho
well beaten whites
of six eggs, beat
until cool, cut two
and a half cupfuls
of cherries Into
bits, roll In pow
dered sugar. Beat a quart of cream,
reserve a cupful of cream and fold
Into tho egg whites, add a tablespoon
ful of vanilla. Pack in a pall if no
better mold Is at hand, and let stand
four hours. Serve with tho. following
Baiice:
Orange Sauce. Beat the yolks of
bIx eggs, add a cupful and a halt of
sugar, the juice of two oranges, and
cook over hot wnter until thick, cool
and fold In the cup of reserved cream.
Duchess Loaf. Boll a pint of cherry
juice with the Juice of half a lemon
and a cupful of sugar, ten minutes.
Whip a pint of cream, add half a cup
ful of sugar, a half tcaspoonful of va
nilla and a half cupful of finely minced
candled cherries. Put Into a mold
and pack In ico and salt for four
Velvet Sherbst Take tho Juice of
hours.
three lemons, a quart of milk and
two cupfuls of sugar, mix well and
freeze.
A plain lco cream will b'ecomo a
most elegant dish with tho addition
of somo ' chopped nuts, candled gin
ger, chocolate sauco or a maple sauce.
Dusa Founds Artist Home.
Eleonora Duse, tho greatest actress
in Italy, has contributed $2,000 toward
the foundation of nn artists' homo or
club In Rome. ' Slgnora Duse suys
that Italian actors and actresses In
Italy aro relegated to a sort of ghetto,
and It i high tlmo that thoy should
havo a homo or club with a library,
a reading room, a lecturo hall, and
other comforts, Very likely Slgnora
Duso will glvo her villa In Romo for
tho artists' homo which sue hopes to
havo inaugurated next mouth,
15?
In fact, a sauco of any preserved fruit
1b always an addition.
When strawberries aro reasonable
In price there need be no question ol
dessert, for this queen of fruits makes
a most delectable sauco, as well as an
lco with water or a Bherbet with
cream when frozen'.
Havo patience; here nro flowers nnd
iilrda,
Beauty nnd fragrance, wealth of
sound and sight,
All summer's glory time, from
morn till night,
And life too full of Joy for uttered
words.
CODFISH SPECIALTIES.
Tho people of Now England know
how to prepare tho fresh and salt cod
In a great number of simple and dell
clous dishes.
Codfish Balls. Tho salted fish Is of
course never bo good as tho fresh, but
we must bo satisfied with
that when the fresh fish
Is unobtainable. Pick up
two cupfuls of the fish and
pour over It cold water to
cover and slmjner gently
for 15 minutes, then pour
off tho water. Have pre
pared three cupfuls of hot
mashed potatoes, season with salt,
pepper and three tablespoonfuls of
butter and three of cream. Stir into
the potato the Abu, form into balls,
dip In egg nnd fry In deep fat- Just
before, using.
Codfish Porterhouse. Pick up two
thirds of a cupful of salt cod; pour
over It two cupfuls of cold watcrand
simmer gently for 15 minutes after It
begins to boll. Drain the water off
and put Into tho pan with the fish
two tablespoonfuls of butter. Pour
Into It three cupfuls of good, rich
milk, or one of cream and ono of
milk is better, Stir two tablespoon-
fuls of flour smooth in half n cup
ful of milk, pour this Into the hot milk
and stir It until smooth, allowing it
to simmer for five minutes after it 1b
thick. Just before taking from the
lire break into it three frah eggs. Let
the whites set before the yolks are
broken and then stir them in lightly.
Take from the fire at onco and pour
into the serving dish, dot with bits of
butter and sprinkle with salt and pep
per. Serve with baked potatoes.
Health and good digestion are de
pendent objectively upon appetiz
ing flavor duo to skilful prepa
ration and good cooking; and sub
jectively to a cheerful and harmoni
ous state of mind on tho part of
the eater. James.
HINTS TO STORE FOR USE.
When traveling in a sleeper and
too much draft is felt from a window,
a good way to have the fresh air is
to put a lead pencil under the sash,
and the small crack will let In enough
air to keep tho air in the berth pure.
Keep an old comb to remove lint
and hair from the sweeping brush.
When bathing tho baby lay him on
a pad and towel on a sewing table,
unless he is to be
put into a bath, aB
the little ono Is
much easier bathed
and hot so apt to
have his back in
jured aB when held
on the lap.
When fly paper
gets on wood or the floor soak it with
vinegar.
AlwayB carry a few flax seeds in
your purse, and if a cinder gets in
tho eyo the moistened flax seed will
slide in so easily and gather up the
painful foreign body.
A shelf over a gas stove or Just
back of it within reach is a great
convenience, as ono may keep tho sea
soning there. The shelf may havo
hooks underneath on which may be
hung tho most used utensils, all near
at hand.
Cotton crepe is becoming the ideal
hoUBO dress material, as it is also for
underskirts. A bit of lace or a ruf
fle may bo put upon tho skirt which
can bo starched and ironed if so de
sired, but the dress simply needs
washing and drying on a hanger, when
it is sweet, clean, and ready for wear.
Iodine marks may bo removed with
ammonia. Put it on until tho spot
disappears, then wash well.
For mud stains, allow tho mud to
dry, then brush briskly with a whisk
broom, and the spots will usually dis
appear. Ink stains, as well as paint, may
bo removed by turpentine and soap.
When you find cocoa or chocolate
stain on llnbn, Boak in cold wa
ter, rubbing well to loosen any fat,
then wash in hot suds.
Credited to Gratification.
A member of tho Pacific Union club,
San Francisco, owns a handsome place
up In Marlon county in which ho takes
great prido. A few days ago he was
boasting that he made ?G.000 off it last
year. "Did you include tho earnings
of the farm when you mado your in
come-tax return? asked an Irrev
erent Bon of Uenicia. "I did not. Why
should I?" "Why you said you mado
?G,000 from it" "Oh, that wasn't ac
tually cash; 5,000 of It was personal
gratification."
pSjh
Don't Blame
the Stomach
because it has become weak
and is unable to do its work
properly rather help it
back to a normal condition
by the daily use of
HOSTETTERS
Stomach Bitters
It aids digestion, keeps the
appetite normal and pro
motes activity of the liver
and bowels. Try it today.
i
FREE TO ALL SUFFERERS
If you feel 'ooi of hobts' -acn Down- ooi tbem.cn"
ttrrxa from kidxet, SLiboKn, hxbtoos duxiiol.
chrohio wutiiii, otriiui, tun utniom, ruJu.
writ for FREE cloth bound medical book ow
HIE NEW FRENCH REMEDY No.lNo2No3.
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I ynurulflfltl
Iborcmedr for lout, owx ailment. AtoiutlT FREE
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BUCK
LOSSES SURELY PREVENTEQ
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LEG
lO.dOM nknt. Dlukleo Pllli 11.00
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TTha An fnWtai hut ClUnr'm limt.
The Bupertorttr of Cuttr products la due to over IS
jttn cf cpecUUtlnr. In vaoclnet anil Mrumt only.
Intllt n Gutter'!. If unotUtuable, order direct.
Tho Cutter Lakoritory. Berkeley. CD., or Chicago. Ill-
ANCIENTS KNEW OF GLAZING
Proof That Early Inhabitants of Mex
ico Used Process In the Manu
facture of Pottery. '
The discovery by Henry C. Mercer
of Daylestown, Pa., that the ancient
inhabitants of Mexico used a glazing
process in the manufacture of their"
pottery nas revolutionized the views
of ceramic experts at the University
of Pennsylvania, and may lead, says
American Art News, to thy discovery
of beds of clay suitable tor use today.
Mr. Mercer, who is an expert on til
ing and a former curator of the Uni-,
veraity museum, during a recent Btudy
of Mexican potteries at tho museum,
had his attention called to the vari
ance in workmanship in certain col
lections. He promptly classified the
potteries as possessing two different
kinds of clay, and was surprised to
find that a distinct glaze was still ap
parent. Tho ancient Egyptians, Bays Mr.
Mercer, did not glazo their works, tho
Chineso adopting this precaution at a
later date to make their vessels im
pervious to w'ater. Civilization had
been established by this time, how
ever, and the use of the glazing art
by prehistoric Mexicans may unfold
interesting ceramics.
African Boers.
The Transvaal colony Is now a part
of tho British empire, in the same
way that Canai'a, or Australia, or
Rhodesia is. Tho Boers are treated'
precisely as the other people of tho
empiro 'aro treated, and unless tho
Canadians and Australians and others
aro slaves, it cannot be said that the
Boers are. The Transvaal colony has
local self-government, subject to tho
Imperial parliament in federal mat
ters, and the same may bo said of all
the other British colonies.
The Nearer Hills.
"And, my dear, what mountains in
domestic lilfe give you most trou
ble?" "Tho kitchen range." Judge.
Simplified
Breakfasts
Make for good days
From a package
of fresh, crisp
Post
Toasties
fill a bowl and add cream or
milk.
Then, with some fruit, a cup
of Instant Postum, and a
poached egg or two if you
like, you have a simple break
fast that is wholesome and
satisfying.
Toasties are bits of corn
carefully cooked, delicately
seasoned, and toasted to an
appetizing "brown" without
being touched by hand. They
look good, taste good, and
"The Memory Lingers"
Sold by Grocers
Everywhere!
,
.
rim if Mr-