HOWSAMPROPOSED
Ended in Force of Arms, Compul
sion, Extortion, All That,
and Then Some.
By JOHN PHILIP ORTH.
Same Andrews waa a bachelor ot
40, ono of tho throo carpenters in
the vlllago ot Dovor. Being a bach
elor It was perfectly logical that ho
should koep bachelor's hall. Ho had
mado IiIb own bod and cookod his own
meals for ton years when things hap
pened. In preparing his own dinner one
day tho bachelor burned tho moat, for
got to put tho coffoo In tho pot with
tho water, and frlod tho potatoes un
til tho odor could bo scented across
tho Btreet Then he broke a plattor.
klckod tho cat and went out on tho
back stops and said to himself:
"Dog gor.o it, but I'm a fool!"
Mrs. Brown, wlfo ot his nearest
neighbor, was on her back stops and
saw and heard him and answered:
"Of courso you are!'
"I ought to havo a wife."
"Everybody knows- that"
"I wont stand it another month!"
"Don't!"
"But where In Jericho am I going to
get ono?"
"That's it whoro?"
She passed Into her house and was
gono ton minutes, while the bachelor
sat and stared at tho beot-tops in his
-garden and wondered how a feller
managed to kick himself when ho
felt he needed kicking. Then Bho re
appeared to say:
"Oh, Sam, como to the fence."
A breast-high ferfco divided tho
lots, and tho two wore soon leaning
over it
"Well?" queried the carpenter in a
sulky voice.
"You are a single man."
"Don't I know that?"
"You want a wlfo."
"I do. I'm gosh-hanged tired of this
housework."
"Say, Sam, I can got you a wlfo In
a day."
"I I don't bcllovo It Who is she?"
"Tho widow Martin."
"Why why," stammered tho bacho
lor as ho tried to turn pale. "Sho
wouldn't have tho likos of me."
"You can't tell that 'till you ask hor.
I happen to think she'd jump at the
chance. Wo wore talking tho other
day, and sho said said !"
"Said what?"
"I'm not going to do your courting
C for you," laughed tho woman as sho
turned away from tho fenco. "If I
were a man named Sam Andrews I
know where I'd be about 8 o'clock
thlB evening."
"Oh Lord, whero?"
"Right over at tho widow's house,
asking her to set tho wedding day.
That would bo mo, but of course you
haven't got much grit. Light your
pipe and think it over."
Tho carpenter didn't go back to his
saw and hammer that afternoon. lie
at for hours with his feet cocked up
and plpo in mouth and went over the
case. He had known the widow Mar
tin for years, and had a good opinion
of her. Ho wasn't in love, but ho had
read and .beard that that sentiment
would come along a few days after
marriage. Should there bo calls and
a courtship, or should he transact
business on tho plan of matrimonial
answers given while you wnlt?" At
sundown he had decided on the latter
course. It was to bo or not to be.
There were threo Interested parties
here.
Mrs. Martin, tho widow, party of
the first part " ,
Mrs. Brown, party of tho second
part
Sam Andrews, party of the third
part.
it might seem moro than neighbor
ly for tho party of the second part to
offer her assistance In tho emergency
recorded. Tho widow was a harmless
sort of flirt, as all widows havo a
right to be. Mrs. Brown was a mar
ried woman, but sho liked to flirt a
Ilttlo notwithstanding. But for her
husband's jealous disposition sho
might havo had more opportunities.
To bo restrained whllo the other was
freo galled and rankled. Sho had
hoped for years that the widow would
get married and to a mighty jealous
man at' that, and thus leave her a
clear field, but no such ovent had hap
pened. Thero wero nlnotecn chnnces
out of twenty that the party of tho
third part would get turned down
with a prompt "No, sir!" but tho flir
tatious woman wasn't mlBslng any
thing that camo her way. Under oth
er conditions sho would have told
Sam Andrews that ho was bow-backed
and bow-legged and to go and hire
out to a sldo show.
At 8 o'clock that evening tho wid
ow Martin was considerably surprised
to open tho door in response to a
knock and find tho old bachelor on
tho steps. He was dressed in his Sun
day suit His hair was oiled and his
boots greased. Ho looked pale, and
ho made earnest efforts to swallow
his Adam's apple, but he finally got
seated. Tho widow wondered what
errand had brought him. and as tho
minutes passed and he did not ex
plain sho asked:
"Did you call to boo it I had any
carpenter work to do?"
"Why, no," was tho reply. "No, I
didn't call for carpenter work. I call
ed to ask you toimarry mo!"
"Mr. Andrews I"
"You seo, I want a wife."
"I should say you did."
"And I'll bo a good husband to her."
"But but you boo "
"Mrs. Martin, I'm a pretty good
man."
Sho saw that ho was very mucn t
earnest, and oho thought for a mi
mont before saying:
"Mr. Andrews, I know you to bo
Bteady, hard-working man, and you
make somo woman n good husbam
but I'm not tbo woman, l'vo n
thoughts of marrying ngaln."
"But you may change your mlod,
ho answered.
"It Is barely possible."
'And if you do, then"
"Wo can't tell what may happen fit
then" .
"I may propose," agalnsald Mr. An
drows as ho was ready to go.
"I hope not."
"And I may keep proposing."
"Good night, Mr. Andrews goof
night"
Next morning bright add early Mrs
Brown waB at tho fence to hear tin
nows, nnd when told by the carpentoi
that ho had beon turned down, Bhi
gasped and replied:
"Sam, tho widow was gluing you i
jolly!"
"No."
"But she 1b. She wanU to bo rut
after. Sho wants to keep you on thi
books. Don't you let hor fool you
Propose again."
"I told her I should."
"Good for you! Don't you let hei
make a fool of you."
Every day for tho next fortnight thi
party of tho second part kopt encour
agalng tho party of tho third part, ant
bo began to feel that it was time ti
proposo again. In doing his enrpente:
work It became necessary for him t
go to tho woods to cut a stick of tim
ber. It was a tramp of half a rallo
It was after dinner that ho startet
out, and whllo ho was tramping nbou
In Bearch of tho right tree he hcar
a woman's calls for holp. When hi
traced them to tholr sourco his sur
priBo was great.
Tho widow Martin was stuck fasi
in a quagmiro!
"Why how when " gasped Sam
"I camo out for a walk." was ox
plained. "I havo been stuck hero to
two hours. I thought help would nov
er come."
"Stuck, eh?" queried the man, at
he took a seat on a log. "Mrs Martin
I warned you that I should propose
again."
"Aro you going to make a fool o'
yourself?" she demanded. "This Is nr
time for nonsense. Cut a pole ant
reach mo tho end of it."
"Thore's other business ahead ol
that. In the last fortnight I have
learned to lovo you."
"I am a good man, widow a good
man. You couldn't And a better hus
band In tho stato. I want you to thlnt
things over. I'm not handsome, but '
can help to make a happy homo. 1'n
no swell, but you are no nrlstocrai
yourself. I'm a carpentor working bj
tho day, but you are a humble widow
Think It over. I'll bo back in half ai
hour."
"Sam Andrews!"
"Half an hour!"
"But I'm being drawn down."
"Half an hour!"
"Sam, don't you know you aro act
Ing mighty mean? Here I am, utterlj
helpless, and you "
"I ask you to marry mo. What d'yi
say?"
"Y-yes," answered the widow aftei
three long minutes had gono past
It was force of arms compulsion
extortion and all of that, but she stud
to her promise and has never regret
ted It
(Copyright. 1912. by tho McClure News
paper Syndicate.)
IS THOUGHT OLDEST MUMNH
Skeleton of Women, Recently Found
Has Been Accorded Distinction
by the Scientists.
The mummy known as Ka-Nofer
which is in the museum of tho Iloya
college of surgeons, London, England
has been described as tho oldest mum
my known. The date assigned to it
by Prof. Elliot Smith was tho ago o
Sonefru, tho beginning of Egypt's
fourth dynasty, about 3700 years B. C
Some human remalnn. hmvnmr
havo now been discovered at Sakkara
about 15 miles from Cairo, belonglnj
to tho period of the end of tho sec
ond and the beginning of tho thlrc
dynasties, about 4,000 years B. C.
Among them is tho ekeleton of i
woman about 35 years of ago, whlcl
was found completely Invested in i
large series of bandages, and noxt tt
tho body was a corroded woven cloth
The corrosion, says Prof. Smith
was presumptive evlcence that sorai
material, probably crude natron, wai
applied to the surface of tho body
with a view to Its preservation, un
ho haB thus been able to 'traco to i
higher antiquity than had previous!)
been done, the use of this method foi
preserving tho body of the dead.
They Were Really Moving.
He had 'had Intimate acqualntanct
with tho contonts of sovernl flagoni
ero he went aboard ono of thoso aur
face cars In Brooklyn In which the
"ads" revolve, that all who sit maj
read.
"Shay," he said confidentially, as he
nudged his neighbor, whllo gazing at
tho advertisements of talcum powder
soap, dandruff euro and what not m
they passed before him "shay, m
fron', aro them things movln', or am
I seoin' things?"
Assured that thoy wero really mov
ing ho heaved a sigh of great relief
looked at tho slgnB with a softer eye,
and then dozed off Into a peaceful
nap.
Looks Ominous.
"I fear I havo made a mistake."
"Why?"
"Ho proposed, in a taxlcab. The
minute I accepted ho paid the bill and
we got out and walked."
(MRS FROM,
mmwRm
Glvo the cows a namo.
Mulch tho strawberries.
Baled corn foddor Is now.
Use a low wagon In tho orchard,
Clean out the old nesting material
nnd burn it
Milk to the last drop, for tho last
milk is tho best.
Sweet clover can bo used as a bud-'
stltute for red clover.
A single drop of milk contains flvo
million globules of butter fat.
When corn husking tlmo is at hand,
tho corn ought to bo fairly well dried
out
Hogs will husk corn for nothing.
The hired man wants four centB a
bushel.
It Is not what Is eaten but what
Is digested that furnishes strength nnd
muscle.
Vitality Is' a very important charac
teristic in the dairy cow or any other
farm animal.
Hogging down corn looks llko a
lazy man's way, but It Is a money
maker. Try It
A hen can't bo a very respectable
hen If she is full of lice holp her by
cloanlng up tho roosts.
In tho poultry quarters, bo careful
to keep filth from accumulating and
keep fowls freo from lice.
Glvo tho ducks clean water every
tlmo you feed thorn bocauso a duck
always drinks while eating.
Don't let a frost scare you Into
gathering the cabbages. Leave them
out until freezing weather comes.
The seed of broom corn has con
siderable feeding value. It may be
removed, dried or put In tho silo.
If your Bweet corn seed Is mixed
with field corn, better feed It to the
chickens nnd buy new next Bpring.
The coming of woven wlro fences
will help keep down tho weeds along
tho roadsides In a rather roundabout
way.
Good shelter will make feed go far
thor and this Is n good time to see
that barns and sheds aro mado tight
for tho winter.
The beef supply cannot bo much in
creased inside of two years. ThlB
means high cattle prices for at least
two years more.
Whether brood mare or gelding It
Is tho healthy, well fed horso that ex
hibits the greatest endurance and no
bility In harness.
After corn passes the proper stage
at which it should bo converted into
silage or foddor, It deteriorates very
rapidly In quality.
in the horso for active service the
breast should not be over medium
width and tho forelegs should bo rea
sonably close together.
Both cane and knllr aro not hurt
much for feed If they aro caught by
frost provided they aro cut before
much rain falls on them.
A square breasted, well muBded horso
will stand moro work nnd more hard
ship than two lank, lcosoly-jointed ones,
and not require as much power as one
of them.
When the calf is just learning to
eat boll oatmeal or comment Into a
thin mush, add a quart of it to a pnll
of sklmmllk and the calves will suck
It up vith great relish.
Nothing should be moro gradual
than tho development of tho power
of n draft horso or tho speed of a trot
ting horse and In but few other ways
aro horses more permanently Injured
than In pushing tholr development
too rapidly.
If you have several kinds of rough
feed on hand It wfl! bo a good plan to
mix them up In feeding. Stock like a
change of feed as well as you do and
If their breakfast can bo of ono kind
nnd their supper of another, so much
the better.
Ono reason why some men do not
And sheep profitable Is because they
have those which would not do well
for anybody. Turn oft every head of
thnt sort and got somo flrst-clasB
sheep, and you will soon find yourself
making somo good clean monej from
thorn.
Pick all fruit carefully.
Plow for corn In tho fall.
Start a war on poultry posts.
Store socd com in n dry placo.
Clipping horses' legs Is not a good
practice.
Exc'csslvo sweating in a horse Indi
cates weakness.
Tho first and greatost law ot breed
ing Is "llko begets llko."
Many Imported horses aro a "sell"
to whoover buys them.
Modorato frosts lmprovo rather
than harm tho cabbage.
Why not shod farm machinery, tho
Bnmo as tho field products?
Store somo dust for tho chickens'
dust bath during midwinter.
It Is only recently that sweet clovet
hB been UBod for feeding livestock.
Silngo nnd alfalfa combined mako
tho foundation of tho best dairy ra
tion. Tho scrub cow appenrs In ovory
herd, whether It bo a puro bred or a
grado herd.
Seo that tho ladders are safo before
using them. Unsafo round b may menn
broken legs.
The separator 1b a helpful factor In
establishing tho uniformity of the fin
ished product
When a heifer Is first fresh It Is es
pecially Important that all the milk
bo drawn from hor.
How much docB It cost to havo that
machinery standing out in tho wcath
er? Shedding Is cheap!
No stock grower con afford to have
his animals burn grain for fuel tc
keep themsolvcB wnrm.
Swoot potatoes should bo dried and
thon stored In boxes ot sand before
the frost touches them.
Dovolopment of a flock and groatlj
Increased profits cannot bo secured
without careful breeding.
Letting butter drain well before
salting 1b ono of the Ilttlo things thai
makes for bettor quality.
Tho use ot tho puro-bred sires hat
brought about a much bettor quality
of stock kopt on tho farms.
Keep tho hogs quiet, clean nnd
comfortable If you oxpect the best
gain from tho food supplied.
Selling butter or cream from the
farm robs tho soil of less fertility than
does any other farm product
Tho cost of feeding an animal In
creases with Its wolght, but not Id
direct proportion to its weight
Hurry all cement work to a flnlsl
now, so It will havo tlmo to set well
boforo freezing cracks and damagei
it N
Tho milk pall with a flaring top
has been ruled out Hooded palls
with small openings are much more
dirt-proof.
Are you keeping a lot of horses fot
which you lmvo no Bpcclnl need? Let
tho other follow havo them at pros
ent prices.
See to It that tho colt docs not be
como constipated, A small dose ol
castor oil Is a good thing to get the
bowels ntartod.
Too often tho dairy, poultry and
hoir work aro sldo lines on tho farm
Mako them tho main lino and the;
will lend you to profit
Fill tho producing cows up on clovei
hay or alfalfa hay If you can get II
inrtead of fodder or other coarso stufl
containing low food values.
Hogs do not wasto corn- In the field
except in muddy weather. They gain
faster, moro ovonly nnd moro econom
Ically In tho corn field than in tho drv
lot
Good bright corn foddor is worth
more for dairy cows than puro tim
othy hay but both should bo fed along
with clovsr or alfalfa to get tho best
results.
At the Iowa station corn nnd soy
beans hogged down produced 15.7
pounds of pork por bushel ot corn.
At 8 Mi cents per pound that Is $1.23
per bushel for the corn.
When tho pumpkins and squashes
aro gathered, do not put them in the
cellar at onco, Thoy will koep much
better If stored In somo dark outbuild
lng until real freezing weather comes
As tho cold weather approaches the
separator bowl should bo filled with
hot water before tho milk Is allowed
to run through It. When It Is thor
oughly warm skimming will bo morn
efficient.
Acrato now milk as soon as possi
ble utter It Is drawn, but do not do
this In a stable. As good a way to
do thin as any Is to pour tho milk
lowly from ono pnll to another for a
few minutes. This drives off bad
odors and. saves tho fine butter flavor.
WHERE FARMER DOES
LITTLE ATTENTION .
Result Is That On Vast Number of Farms Where No Milk, i
Cream or Butter Is Sold Cows Aro Mostly Inferior
Poor Foundation for Success. i
Unless wc aro actively engaged in
tho dairy business, or raising beef
cnttlo, wo are not apt to pay much
attention to tho quality and money
value of our cowb on tho farm. Tho
result of this Is that on a vast num
ber of farms where no milk, cream or
butter is Bold, tho cowb are mostly In
ferior. Of courso, this Is no reforenco to
tho men who go in for beef breeds of
oattlo rathor than dairy breeds. But
thero aro n great many nion who
do moro or less in tho dairy lino, nnd
who novcrtholoBB keep inferior stock,
ays a writer in tho Farm Progress.
In moat cases 1 think It likely this Is
duo to tho fact that the ownere of
such stock are not sufficiently fa
miliar with cowb and cow values to bo
influenced to secure bettor stock.
As 1 hnve owned a largo number of
cows, 1 know very well what a poor
investment a lot of inferior cattle
are. But, judging from what Ib seen
on tho majority ot farms ovor tho
country, "cows nro cowb;" and so
long as some milk and somo butter
though it may not always bo in abun
dance are suppllod, tho ownorB lot It
go at thnt.
Ab a rule, men who havo that sort
af Indifference to their cattle, also
havo scrub hogs and poultry, nnd In a
gonoral way all tho features about
tho farm aro of tho Bcrub typo. I do
not bnllevo nny mnn of tills typo can
ever bo a very successful farmer. Tho
saino Interests that mako a man a
Buccossful business mau make tho
farmer a successful one.
Tho farmer who owns poor scrub
sows, not good for either milk or but
termaklug, and worth little on tho
&U?Z
Ideal Type of
block, can never cxpoct to make any
real profit out of his cows.
Of courso, tho vast majority of cow
owners are thoso who do not sell
milk and butter, and expect to sell
veal calves or yearlings, not kept to
bo butchered at home, do not get any
returns from keeping cowb oxcopt
tho milk nnd but tor, nnd npw and
thon somo beef or veal from an anl
mnl butchered on shares in tho
neighborhood. Of course, this la no
small thing. I have boon nsBoclated
with a neighborhood club a great
ioal of tho time, and wo lived whero
It was handy for a bunch of neigh
bors to tako turn about nnd butch
er a yearling and divide among
thorn.
I havo found that we got more out
at an animal -In that way than where
wo sold to a butchor to be paid for
In fresh beef or cash and bought
fresh meat with the money.
If a half dozen families join In this
plan they can begin killing In Novom
bor nnd keop It up till March, nnd
thus nil fnmllles keep supplied with
HARMFUL LITTLE
ENGLISH SPARROW
Expert of United States Biologi
cal Survey Urges War
on Small Bird.
The, frequent and vigorous condem
nation ot English sparrows ilnds sup
port in a recent statement of the
government made by Ned Dear
born, an expert In tho United States
Biological 8urvoy, who files a bill of
complaint against tho sparrow, and
gives reasons for waging war upon it.
It 1b so vigorous and cmphntlc In de
tail as to remind one of the "swat the
fly" campaign that has been promi
nent for several years. It has boon
stated that tho sparrow feeds upon
Inuocti which perform a useful serv
ice In agriculture and that thero are
about 99 counts against one In his
favor. It 1b said that he 1b guilty of
destroying fruit, such ns cherries,
grapes, pears and peaches, and fur
ther says:
Ho gobbles up buds and flowers of
sultlvated shrubs, trees and vines.
Ho causes havoc in gardens by nib
bling at the peas and lettuce. He Is
destructive to wheat and othor grains.
Somo Idea of the extent of his depro
dations Is gained by tho statement
that a flock of fifty of his' fellows re
quire dolly the equivalent of n quart
of grain. Hence the annual loss
tit -
T. M."- "" ' - JJ-idf'..--"-"T ' O r-rf, I
NOT SPECIALIZE
IS PAID TO QUALITY
fresh meat during tho entire tlmo)
when it Is cold enough to hoop)
tho mont till each family can.
got its share. The only drawbaolt to;
tho plan la that tho hoof la often onj
hand at a tlmo when tho hogs aro
killed nnd tho meat salted down, and;
thero aro tow families that do not)
llko fresh pork so well but that thoy1
eat a lot of it, both fresh nnd sal tod,,
boforo It is mado Into bacon.
Of courso, this fact interferes with
tho consumption of much beef on
farms attor cold weathor sots in; but'
no -family, no matter how well they
like hog meat, ought to eat It too
treoly.
Personally, I llko both pork nnd
bacon bettor than nny but tho host1
and tendorest of beef; but, of course
every farmors' club ought surely to
havo as good beef as can bo had any
where. Soveral times on my own farm wo
havo takon a quarter on a 700-pound!
yearling, nnd It kopt hanging In tho
smokehouse from tho last of Novem
ber till wo began to smoko the bacon,
nnd it was as good as wo could get)
from tho best butcher. Our club
claimed to divide the animal into
quarters, and wo rotated tho hind
qunrters and forcquartorB among tho(
four, thnt being tho numbor In it.
After tho hoga are killed, oft
courso, nlmost everybody eata pork!
In somo form most of tho tlmo; but 1
think It would bo well to go on with!
tho beef club nB long as tho weathor
keeps oold enough to keop It sound!
and fresh. Having an lcehouso on my
farm, wo could keep beef frcah long-'
er than somo of tho others.
Probably tho best plan of all would
Dairy Cow.
bo to arrango with a butcher to,
slaughter tho beef and buy tho bulk
of it from tho club, and it would not
then bo long before tho club would
bo rendy for another one. And, really,
it is a good plan, If It can bo arranged,
to havo tl)o beef club contlnuo In
operation ns much of tho tlmo hh
pOBulblo, so that beef may bo had
moro or less all tho time from tho
middle ot fall till tho mlddlo of
spring.
Of courBo, ench member, If ho lo
llko mo, would want somo freBh porkj
ns well ob cured bncon all along dur-i
lng tho bcof porlod. Maybo tho tlirio
will como when thero can ho farm
ers' cold storage warehouses on a,
small scalo to keep ments fresh as
well as help In keeping frultn In
sound condition. If such things payt
tho meat packers nnd butchere, .thoy
would pay farmers ns well. But thin
Is ono of the things that not many
havo given any thought to. Yet both
health and comfort require somo Buoh
method of keeping meats, fruit, etc.,
fresh and sound. I
throughout the country amounts to o
lnrgo total.
Furthermore, ho Is a plrato and a
disturber In the bird world. Ho proyi
on somo of our most useful and at
tractive birds, among tho number be
ing bluebirds, houso wrens, purplo
mnrtlns, tree Bwnllowu, cliff own!
Iowb, bnrn swallows, the wrens, cat
birds and mocking birds.
This Is a matter of importanoo to
farmers as well ns to city dwollora,)
for tho sparrows nre getting out
further Into tho country each year
and nro now found whero thoy wero
unknown a year ago. Tho birdo upon
which it is said to prey scatter moro
or less widely from the locality whoro
hatched, nnd nre of lucstlimiblo value
to farmere in many wni'H, Tho moth-,
ods of destruction named by Mr
Dearborn nro tearing down nests,
catching tho birds In nt-HtB, shooting
In Inrgo flocks and poisoning A toys'
tematlo movement in villages and
small cities Is recommended for tholr
destruction.
Causes of Failure With Alfalfa.
Experiments nt the Cornell station
have been conducted to detormlno tho
causes of failure In nlfnirn culture,
and tho practical suggestions derived
from the results vhro that nt least a,
moderately fertile eoil Is needed for
this crop, that the use of phosphate,
as u fertilizer is valuable) in this con-i
ncctlon, and that Inoculation Is -j
tile, unless the soil lu in n condition
to favor tho growth of tho bacteria
"'mf