THE SEMI-WEEKLY THIIUNE
IRA. L. BARE, Publisher.
TERMS, 91.25 Itf ADVANCE.
NORTH PLATTE, - - NEBRASKA
THE PRICE OF PROGRESS.
The historic rctuctnnco of Orlontttt
races to indulgo In reforms Is little un
derstood, but time and oxporienco will
explain. Tlicso races tiro old In oxper
Uncq nnd In wisdom. Thorofore, they
nro always apprehcnslvo of tho ultl
niato ends to which any reform will
reach, bays tho Detroit News, Japan
has modernized rapidly. It enjoys tho
benefits of a very Improved form 0
government. Out of this chango de
velops n gradual rise In tho status ol
tho masses and ono of tho conso
qucnuos Is a discontent. Alexander II.
of Russia emancipated 23,000,000 serfs
In tho spring of 1801, after giving nil
lartdownors nnd norf masters three
years' notlco to prepare for tho ovent
nnd setting his own sorfs frco ns an
example. In 1881 tho sons nnd daugh
ters of tho emancipated serfs, having
enjoyed tho benefit of . education and
thereby discovered tho wrongs of the
pnat und the oppressions to which tho
poor wcro still subject at tho hands of
tho nbblcs and great land owners, ex
pressed their discontent by killing tho
emperor who had lifted them to tho
status of froo men nnd women. Rus
sian discontent was fomented by Ml
chad Bnkounln, tho founder of terror
ism In RtiSBla. Jrtpan linn her BnUoun
In In DonJIro Kotoku, a publicist of dis
content. Rccontly a bnnd of 3G con
spirators wero nrroatcd upon the
cfinrgo of plotting against tho llfo nl
thd cmporor, and 12 of them havo al
ready boon executed. Tlicso terrible
blunders scorn to bo unavoidable con
sequences of n chango In tho status ol
tho pooplo of any nation, but only the
superficial obsorvor could condemn all
attempts nt progress becnuso, In gov
ernments as In railroading, thoy In
volve a certain element of danger.
Rats nro regarded as tho most dan
gerous propagators of tho bubonic
plaguo thot Is raging In tho East, and
tho mutter linn boon under considera
tion by tho Russian military authori
ties east of tho Caucasus, They bo
Hovo In killing off tho rats to check
tho spread of tho disease. But somo ol
tho mothods thoy proposo to employ
will arouse the speclnl wonder oven ol
an age which is accustomed to romark
nble developments. Tho military In
spector of the district lit question has
Issued an order In which Is sot forth
"the hypnotic Influence of music, as
cmployod by wlzardii and wltchos,"
and It Js romarked that this should not
be Ignored. In fact, tho mothods by
which rat-catchor cart luro th'olr proj
from tho hiding places arc specified,
and the order concludes with tho as
sumption that "It Is vory pos,slblo that
among tho soldiers of tho Caucasian
military district thoro aro such wiz
ards." If thoro Is a pled piper In the
Russian army ho may now proceed to
get busy.
Ecuador has rojectod tho proposition
to submit tho boundary dlBputo with
Peru to Tho Haguo tribunal. Colombia
has sont a forco of troops Into terri
tory claimed by Peru. War scorns lu
evltable botwocn those poronnlal
squabblers, Haiti and Santo Domingo
And what looks llko a pretty .full
Hedged revolution Is under wny in
Honduras, Bays the Troy Times. II
would seem that thero aro sovoral un
ruly children In tho International fam
ily of- the western homlsphoro who
need a little wholesome discipline tc
make them behave thomsolves prop,
erty.
A woman, with a mandolin nnd b
guitar, has sailed from New York on 0
wager that bIio can make a trip around
the world on what oho can earn wltt
her music. Perhaps. Thoso who dc
not apprcclato it may be glad enougt
to pay her to move on.
Aviators ongnged to bo married art
withdrawing from aoronautlcs ut the
command of their fiancees. No one
can blnmo an engaged girl for object
lug to her lover's being in tho cloudi
In-any other fashion than Cupld'a'way
"Chicago has luultod all Its Bky
scrapers to 200 feet," says tho Ho
York Telegram. Not all. Moroly those
to bo built between tho tlmo whon the
ordlnnnco goes into forco and tho time
when it BhtiU bo declared of no effect
Tho No. 13 Is still lookod on as
hoodoo in somo qunrtors, although it li
hnrdly probablo that tho most super
Mltlouu porson would turn down n gift
of $13,000, while somo would not Bori
ously object to ?13.
Piles nrj to bo exterminated in Wor
cester, Mass. A colloge biologist, there
has formed plans for this extermina
tion, and tho students will catch the
flies. It remains to bo seen In the
contest who stays longor In tho ring
the files or the students.
A southern planter has domesticated
an alligator and Is using it for a
"watchdog." Howovor, our notion ot
nothing to have running around" ''tho
mwm IB an alligator.
WORKING FIVE ACRES
Fruit Growing Is Practical Way
to Make Money.
Planting and Cultivation of Young and
Small Orchard Is Simple Matter and
Not Expensive Work Should
Be Carefully Done.
In our flno westorn cllmnto out-of-doors
work 1b both healthful nnd prac
tical for women to n degree not under
stood by thoso of tho mlddlo states.
Tho sunshiny days and tho dry ground
ollmlnnto tho unpleasant elements of
out-door work and opon to women
many avenues of profitable livelihood
not avallablo to them in tho wet,
muddy conditions of tho states whero
tho rain falls so many days of tho
year, wrltos Mr. Parker Earle, in tho
JJonvcr Mold and Farm.
My association of many years with
business women ot cities, and tho
knowledge gained of tho grind of
their confined lives in ofllco nnd
schoolroom has loft nn Impression on
my mind not cnslly gotten rid of
during my practical qrchard experi
ences of tho past five yours. Tho Im
portant question is: Why do not
moro women rnieo fruit for a living
hero whero conditions nro favorable?
Application of tho sumo business prin
ciples, which means success in othor
lines, moans greater success, with less
norve-wcaring conditions, in fruit
growing.
Tho enro of a small .orchnrd, tho
harvesting, packing nnd marketing of
tho fruit does not rcqulro all or olio's
tlmo and energy for every day of
every month of tho year. Somo
months nro loft for lolsurcly enjoy
mont und study for bettering condi
tions for the years to como. Fruit
growing should bo nnd 1b a prnctlcal
way for womon to mnko money. For
Instance thoro Is 11 homo market In
every town for strawberries. A small
patch will yield a woman a modest
living If sho will Investlgnto soil and
varieties and grow, pick and market
her berries with tho sumo caro and In
telligence sho must glvo to any Inter
est to mako it succeed.
An ncro of strawberries, woll grown
and carod for, yields from 3,000 to
C.000 qunrtB, according to variety,
which should not ton cents a quart.
This crop Ib harvested und over In
nbout n month and tho senson can bo
prolonged by raising raspberries or
othor small fruits on othor plecos of
ground. Howovor, n moro permanent
business nnd ono that In tho end do
mnnds less labor, is tho growing ot
trco fruits apples, peaches, pears,
cherries, plums and prunes. For wom
en tho small orchard of flvo ncrps has
many advantages ovor larger ven
tures, depending upon tho kind of
treos selected for planting un orchard.
Tho numbor of troos on flvo acres Will
run from COO to 1,000 or possibly
1,500.
Tho planting nnd cultivation of a
young orchard of flvo acres Is a slm
plo matter and not expensive, al-,
though tho work should bo vory care
fully dono. Tho heavier labor of culti
vation and Irrigation would call Tor
tho occasional services ot a man und u
tonm whllo tho supervision and
pruning of young trees can well bo
dono by tho owner horself. As tho
treos como into bearing, outside labor,
preferably that of womon and young
girls, can bo called in for all neces
sary harvest work.
As for tho business management of
tho harvest and tho marketing of tho
crop, tho bright woman who has
grown tho orchnrd is Just as capable
as any neighboring orchard owner.
And what can bo expected from so
llttlo as flvo ncrea? Vory Uttlo, cor
talnly, for tho first two, thrco or four
years, and yet certain chorrlos,
ponchos, pluniB nnd dwarf pear troos
begin then to yield small crops, fully
as much fruit as thoy should bear.
And from tills tlmo on ono safely mny
oxpoct increasing annual crops nnd
thnt standard treos, pear and' npple,
shall bo in full bearing In from flvo
to eight years, '
Care of Milker and Utensils.
Especial cure should bo taken In ro
gard to tho condition of thoso who do
tho milking or havo anything to do
with handling tho milk. Special cloth
ing Is ndvIJcd to bo worn during tho
milking. That tho worker should care
fully wash his hands beforo entering
upon the duty ot milking Is tnken as n
matter of course Tho milk vessels
should be thoroughly ucrubbed with
hot wator containing sodn, hud should
then bo scalded in boiling water, and
without rinsing In cold water, should
bo turnod upside down and allowed to
stand In tho air until needed for uso.
nnd in no enso should thoy bo wiped
with a rag nftor qcnldlng,
Poultry Improvement.
Tho most economical mothnd of jm
proving a flock of hens that do not
produco fertile eggs Is to sow tho
mixed grain over a deep bed of cut
straw, Tho hens will get exercise by
hunting for their corn, Thoy should
havo cut raw bono nnd a regular sun
ply of crushed oyster sholls nnd grit.
When snow covors tho ground food
boiled rootB mixed with alfalfa monl
and glvo fresh cabbage lonvos nil thoy
will cat. Glvo n good grass rango.
It hens aro hoalthy and fed tho proper
food, but still lay unfertllo eggs,
cbaugo tuo roosters. Cull closely, and
mato tho fomales with strong ' and
healthy males.
Sows In Clover.
Tho brood sows will oat a lot of
clover or alfalfa bny and be all tho
hotter for It.
FLOW OF IRRIGATION WATER
Question as to Amount of Water Re
quired to Irrigate 8lxty Acres In
Oregon Is Answered.
"Given four second feet of water for
thrco days, 72 hours, Irrigates CO acroo
of land. How many Inches of wator
would it rcqulro per aero continuous
flow for 15 days to furnish the four
second feet for tho thrco days, giving
a period of 12 days between irriga
tions? Oregon hns taken control .of
the wnters of tho stato and in nd-
Judlcntlng tho water rights It has
uskod us, tho original impropriators,
how much wator wo require. A cor
poration hns contested our claims and
thoir export clnlmB that three-eighths
of an Inch of water, continuous How,
s tho solution to tho abovo problem.
Wo aro skoptlcal."
Tho abovo question Is nnswored by
F. H. King In tho Rural New Yorker
In tho following statement:
Four second feet of water for 72
hours, applied to CO ncron of land
would cover it to a depth of 4.7(5
Inches, nnd Is equal to 1,030.800 cubic
foot. Wo do not know tho vnluo of n
legal Inch or water for Orogon. For
California ono inch of water Is do
fined as equal to onoflftleth of a eoc
ond foot. Court decision sots it nt
ono-fortleth of a second foot for Arl
Konn. Colorado speclflcs 38.4 miner's
Inches In ono second foot. It tho Inch
ts taken ut one-fortieth of a second
foot It would rcqulro four tlmoa 40,
or ICO Inches, (lowing continuously
three days, or 72 hours, to equal four
ficcond foot continuous How for 72
hours. Threo-clghths of a miner's
Inch flowing continuously 1C daya Is
only 9.720 cubic feet, or .044 Inch of
rainfall on GO acres, at tho California
vnluo, nnd but 12,150 cubic feet or
.055 Inch ot rainfall on CO ncres nt
tho Arizona value. If applied to ono
ucro instead ot to GO acres tho depth
of wntor, oxprosscd us rainfall, would
bo CO times tho values Just given, or
2.G7 inches, whore tho California inch
Is tho standard, and 3.34 Inches It tho
Arizona vnluo of tho inch is taken.
In othor words, three-eighths of n
minor's inch continuous flow for 1G
days is equivalent to 2.G7 Inches to
3.34 inches of rainfall on ono ncro,
whoro tho values of tho Inch nro thoso
stated. If thrco-olghths of a miner's
Inch flowing continuously 15 days
gives to ono ncro tho equivalent of
2.C7 to 3.34 inches of rainfall, to ap
ply tho snmo amount to tho ncro in
thrco days, continuous flow, would rc
qulro five times three-eighths Inch of
wator, or ono nnd seven-eighths.
Clean Darn for Milk Cow.
The stablo in which the cow lives,
und particularly that in which tho
milking Is dono, should be kept In as
nloan a condition ns possible. Tho
habit of removing tho cows to a sop
nrnto room is ono which is undoubt
edly -very useful lu reducing tho
chance of bacterial contamination. It
in desirable that in the place whero
nil munuro nnd bnrnynrd refuso is
plucod should bo removed ns far as
may bo from tho milking stall, and
no stngnnnt water should bo allowed
near tho barn. Manure Is not only
n sourco of bacteria, but It 1b a great
breeding placo for flies, which are al
so a great nulsanco; one fly falling
into tho milk pall has boon known to
bo capable of Introducing 250,000 bac
torla In milk.
Winter Eggs.
In my experlonco the following rules
favor wlntor egg production. Do not
Uoop houa moro thnn two years old.
Food generously nnd regularly. Havo
plenty ot early pullots. Feed consld
ornblo com and meat. Do not ovor
focrt. Scatter tho grain feed in chaff
to glvo tho honB plenty of exorcise.
Sheep Shearing Records.
F. J. Atwood und S. W. Eldrld, 1111
note farmers, havo sheared 3,850
nhocp during tho past season, break
ing nil provlous records.
DAIRY NOTES.
Dairying nickB well with any other
branch of farming. .
Tho clothing nnd tho hands ot tho
milker must bo kept clean.
Tho growth of tho dulry business
hns b6on phenomenal In tho last few
years.
Milk 1b most conveniently pasteur
ised in tho bottles In which It is de
livered. Considerable of tho dirt that onters
tho milk during mllklig tlmo comes
from tho cows.
If tho cream 'separator runs hard,
flush out nil ot the bearings with
kerosono or conl oil.
Bacteria causo ropy milk and nro
usually found in tho milk utensils
und not In tho cow's udder.
UnclcnnllneBB in tho milk Is a very
sorlous obstaclo to tho making of
cither good butter or good checso.
Dairying takes n llttlo moro caro
than is necessary in beef production
perhnps, but really the labor Is no
grontor.
Conns nro everywhere and It Is
imposBlblo undor practical fnrm con
ditions to keep them entirely out of
the milk.
Unclcnnllnesa counts moro In han
dling milk than It probably does In
nny other product, whether or farm
or factory.
Got n dairy slro ot proved merit,
and then keep him as long as you can.
This will mako for uniformity In your
dairy herd.
Whon tho milking Is done In stables
millions of bacteria often enter tho
milk overy mlnuto during tho tlmo
it is oxpoBod.
An authority onco romnrked thnt
at n hundred points constant caro ia
required in milking Jt tho milk la to
bo kopt uncontamlnatod.
Uapp
mi nrti
all JLJLJLL
TIES
No Revolution Talk in Mexico City
MEXICO ClTY.Tho capital of Mcx
ico Is. much moro Interested In tho
perfonnanccs at tho local theaters
than in tho revolution. Two nvenlntrn
each weok, Thursdny and Sunday,
moro is music on tlie plazn and tho
typlcnl music of Mexico has been suc
ceeded by tho fasclnntlnc strains of
Lohar's opera.
No ono here can seo that tho rpvo-
lutlon Is being considered seriously
by residents of the capital. It Is un-
uouoieuiy worrying President Diaz, al
though revolutions should bo familiar
to him by this time, as ho was onco
an insurgent tilmsolf. No doubt the
uioiuroanco nas Kept somo ot tho
winter tourists nwnv. but tlmrn nmn
to bo us many sightseeing Americans
on tno plnzas as Usual.
An Amorican would feol fit linntn
hero now with tho throe principal play-
nouses presenting "The Dollnr Prfn
sess," "Duko of Luxemborg" nnd "Tho
Merry Widow." Ono of tho minor
theaters has announced an approach-
'ng engagement of "Tho Cabin of
rhoraas," from which tho American
:olony infers that Eliza is to nirnlti
(loo over tho (ice pursued by blood-
4UUI1UH,
Tho plaaa parades aro a constant
delight of tourists, who Join tho prom
Bnudo or watch tho passing show for
Western Town Moved Away on Wheels
PIOUX FALLS. S. D. Lamro, a
O town of 2,000 inhabitants nnd
loveral hundred houses, was put
)n wheels tho other day and moved
Jvor to Winner, whero.' as the
result of a bitter county seat war and
agreement between tho two towns, it
was consolidated with Winnor und as
town CCaBod Wliollv to nxtnK Rlnrn
buildings, with their valuablo contents,
wore moved intact. Ranks, with their
cash in tho vaults, wero put on wheels
tnd made tho trip across tho prairie.
Without disturbing tho offlclnlH. thn
county court houso was hitched to two
of tho largest traction engines over
ouilt and was hauled from Lamro over
to Winner, whoro it was nlacpd on n
foundation previously prepared for It.
vao Lamro notel, drawn by 72 teams
of horses, made tho trip without qo
much as ceasing business durinrr a
single meal.
Lamro was unlnuo In boinir a town
built by Indians for tho uso ot white
men. Indians promoted tho town,
lold lots, opened business housos, and
Nebraska May Have 'Vagabond City'
'J I DONT THINK MUCH
CE HOW THIRSTY
LINCOLN, NEB, .Nebraska may soon
havo a vagabond city nnd nil
tramps, drunkards or delinquents of
other kinds who drift into this stato
will bo In danger of being made citi
zens or tho now colony, Tho "city"
will not rob tho penitentiary of any
3f its prisoners, but is intonded to
tako caro of that large class of unfor
tunates designated by professional
ohurlty workers as "below tho poverty
lino." It wilt bo tho first Institution
of Its kind in the United States and
as an experiment along untried lines,
Is suro to attract tho attention of so
nologists everywhere. No real crim
inals will bo admitted to citizenship,
but only "unfortunates" will bo accept
ed thero.
A bill beforo the legislature calls
for tho establishment of a colony on
Teaches Four Years
PHILADELPHIA. Mrs. Mary E. Ir
win has been teaching tor four
years in tho Martin school of this city
without a certificate and without hav
ing graduated from tho high school as
the claimed, Her maiden namo wnu
Mary U. Green. Sho desired to teach
but had no certificate and was not
qualified to pass an examination. Sho
planned to get a teacher's position
and study as she taught until sho
mndo horself competent. This sho
bad practically accomplished.
Alt, theso years sho waB posing aa
Carrie B. Grocn, who graduated from
the high school In tho class ot 1888
and taught until 1S91, when ahe mar
S :'J n UsIfwiL LjJUl.
hours, admiring tho bright-faced
glrln and their lynx-eyed chaperons.
Undor the circumstances tho Amer
icans hero nro being treated with the
utmost consideration. It seems to bo
tho deslro of Mexican officials to re
tain tho friendship of Americans dur
ing theso days of minor internal dis
turbances, for tho nllcnatlon of Amcrl
can capital would bo a worso dlsastei
than Is likely to result from tho in
surgents.
Any antipathy In this city toward
Americans' comes, from tho lower
classes, tho professional agitators and
malcontonts. They sometimes rally
around tho sentiment "Mexico for
Mexicans," but hero in this city thli
clement is In a hopeless minority.
It has developed slnco tho revolu
tion began thnt It was financed largely
by Mexicans who Hvo In Texns, Now
Mexico and Arizona, led chiefly by
Florcs Magon, onco sentenced to pris
on In California for violation of the
neutrality laws.
Slnco the trouble began less that
usual has been seen of Presldont Diaz
and this started rumors that ho wai
very 111 nnd oven thnt ho was dying.
A few dnyB ago when such nimori
wero flying tho President; and Mrs
Dlnz put an end to the tales by drlv
Ing through tho city in nn opon car
riage and going to a park, where the)
walked for an hour.
When tho revolution wns forming
President Diaz said ho would person
ally lead his army If tho situation be
came serious. That ho haB made no
movo in that direction Ib taken as an
assurance that tho high (?fllctalB do not
regard tho outbreak seriously.
finally elected themselves to offlco. In
dlana wero elected to tho offices oi
county commissioner, county Judge,
county treasurer and to all othei
places.
However, tho Indians wcro at last
outgenoralcd by tho white men. Tho
rod men wero familiar with many
things, but they did not understand
tho ways of tho American railroad
builders. Lamro was promoted
while tho railroad was still 20
miles away, but headed in thnt direc
tion. In fact, tho survey run through
tho spot upon which tho Indians built
tho town. But tho railroad made a
detour Just great enough to put Lam
ro off tho lino of road and tho white
men built tho town of Winnor on tho
road and only threo miles from tho In
dian town. In tho menntlmo Lnmrc
had grown rapidly and was a town
ot 2,000 pcoplo, with all sorts of busi
ness houses.
The pcoplo living at Winner organ
Ized a county 6cat tight and carried
tho mattor beforo tho voters at the
November elections. By ngrecment
between the two towns tho loser
agreed to abandon its slto and move
bodily over to tho winner of the fight
Truo to its namo, Winner won out by
a small vote, and tho vory next day
arrangements wero begun for the
house moving.
tho prairies, far from tho temptations
of n largo city. Tho slzo of tho In
stitution Ib not mentioned In tho bill,
but its backers tlilnk from 5,000 to
10,j)00 acres will bo necessary onco
tho colony Is In full working order. In
addition to a big farming area thero
will bo shops of all kinds, an Iron
foundry, a shoo shop, a book bindery,
a tailor shop, a furniture factory, a
planing mill nnd othorB of this kind.
Tho output of tho colony will not
como in competition with that of prl
vnto concerns, but will bo used, in
great measure, by tho stato In the
different Btato institutions.
When ono coming within thoso lines
Ib brought beforo tho proper authori
ties, instead of being sontenced to
tho city Jail or tho stato prison he
will bo sont to "Vagabond City." No
fixed term of Incarceration will bo set,
but tho delinquent will bo simply sent
to tho city until ho bocomes self-supporting,
after which he will bo sent
back to tho world aB n man ablo to
tako caro of hlmsolf. Whllo In tho
"city" ho will bo taught an occupa
tion or trade.
.
by False Pretense
rled and moved away. Sho is said to
be dead.
Sixteen years after tho real Miss
Green had loft tho school to marry,
her Impersonator applied for a place
and said her cortlflcato had boon de
stroyed. Tho real Miss Green had
mado a good record aB a teacher and
her impersonator waB employed with
out question.
A family quarrel cuused her Becret
to becomo public. A brother-in-law,
In a spirit of rovengo, notified tho
school board that Mrs. Irwin was not
tho formor Carrlo E. Green. Members
of tho class of '98 -wore called as wit
nesses and thry told Mrs. Irwin sho
had novor been l.n thoir class, but she
persteied thoy wero wrong. Then a
clnss plcturo was produced.
In a state of collapso, frequently
fainting, Mrs. Irwin insisted through
out tho hearing that sho was telling
the truth but the evidence against her
was too strong and she was discharged.
WOMAN
ESCAPES
OPERATION
WasCuredbyLydiaE.Pmk
hams Vegetable Compound
Elwood, Ind. "Your remedies havp
cured mo nnd I havo only taken sir
bottles o Lydla 33. Plnkham'a Vcgeta-
mo ii'ompounu. x
was aiok throo
months nnd could
not walk. 1 buf
fered nil tho tlmo.
Tho doctors Bald I
could not got well
without an opera
tion, for I could
hardly stand tho
pains fn my sldos,
especially my right
ono, nnd down my
rlnrht leer. I bcaran
to feol hotter when I had tnken only
ono bottlo or compound, out Kopt on
n3 1 was afraid to stop too soon." Sirs.
BADIK MULLEN, 2728 N. li. St., El
wood, Ind.
Why will women tako chances with
nn operation or drag out a sickly,
half-hearted existence, missing three
fourths of tho joy of living, whon thoy
can find "health In Lydla 33. Plnkham's
Vcgotablo Compound?
lW tlilrty years It hns been tho
standard remedy for fcmnlo Ills, nnd
has cured thousands of womon who
havo boon troubled with ouch ail
monts as displacements, inflammation,
ulceration, fibroid tumors, irregulari
ties, periodic pains, backache, indiges
tion, and norvous prostration.
If youlinvo tliosllphtcstdoubfc
tlint Lydla 13. Plnlcham's Vcgo
tablo Compound will help you,
write to Mrs. IMnltliam nt Lynn,
Mass., for advlco. Your lottce
will l)o absolutely confidential,
und tho ndvlca frco
WAS TAKING NO CHANCES
Chauffeur Had Had Enounh Accidents
With People Wearing False.
Teeth.
Pretty Thais X, who has delighted
tho audiences of Now York's vaude
ville houses, was called suddenly to
Vermont to visit her sick mother. At
a town a few miles from her parent's
homo alio hired an automobile and
asked tho chauffeur to drlvo her with
as much speed as posslblo to her
destination.
Tho roads wcro very bad, and tho
:ar, making good speed up hill and
down dole, over rocks and rxxia
teemed bound to shako overboard its
occupants.
After a llttlo of this Jolting tho
(hauffeur turned to his faro and de
manded: "I say, ma'am. Do you wear falso
leeth?" t
"What impudence 1" exclaimed
f hals X.
"Oh, ma'am, It Is not -from impu
ionco," returned tho chauffeur, "that .
( asked you tho question. It Is bo
causo tho road Is bad, tho rocks aro r
nard, and If y6u wear falso tooth, you
would do well to removo thorn until
we Btrlko tho plko. I've had enough
Accidents of that description."
Bold 8crlbe.
"Ho hum!" ejaculated honost Farm
er Hornbcak, who had encountered In
the village nowspaper an example of
tho perversity whlcbS tho llnotypo
Bomotlmes displays. "Tho editor of
tho Plalndealer ain't afraid to speak
his mind. Ho como right out and
Bays: "In our opinion tho Hon. Thom
as Rott has lyddaonkzzounsottttpt
pn mnwww trahahaha, hawzw zens
klbby.' And, by Jolly I ho says it at
U ho means it, tool" Puck.
A Good Samaritan.
"Onco, when I waB ill, ho gave mo a
punch in tho stomach."
"I don't seo why you should be .
grateful for that."
"It was a milk punch. Thoy
strengthen, you know."
8hort Trip.
"Twobblo started to read Doctor
Ellot Harvard Classics."
"How far did ho got be'oro stop
ping?" "As far as tho bookcase."
Saves
Breakfast
Worry
A package of
Post
Toasties
on the pantry shelf.
Served in a minute.
With cream or stewed fruit.
DELICIOUS!
SATISFYING!
"The Memory Lingers" '
POSTUM CEREAL CO., Ltd.,
Hauls Crek, Mich.
Jit