THE SEM1-WHKLY IRIBUHt
IKA L. DAllQ. PublUhtr.
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KING GhURGL'a ttRSi iUi'i'uijrilP
ALES;
WORTH PLATTK
NEBRASKA
&ND OTHER
MUST HAVE SERVICE AT ONCE
c
Peculiar Fact That Few Men Can
Walt With Patience for Tele
phone Answer.
Why Is It that when n man has to
wait for "Central" to answer him
seconds seem minutes? Many n busy
man will wait minutes for anything
else and never turn nn eyelash. Hut
when ho faces that formidable gutta
percha enr on tho wall, when ho
listens In vain for "What number,
pleriso7" of tho tolephono girl, ho
loses all his patience. With his pa
tlenco go his temper and his man
ners. Why Is It7 Tho reason Is compara
tively obvious to ono who nnnlyzcn
tho problem. Peoplo aro not accus
tomed to dolay at the telephone. Cus
tom has us all In Its deadly grip. Any
deviation from custom affronts thoso
prehistoric ncrvo cells of ours which
tells us that a discussion from tho
beaten track leads us Into unknown
terrors. Of course, theso world-old In
stincts nro dying, but they still pos
sess forco enough to render a chango
undesirable.
Men aro used to waiting for others
Thoroforo dolay In a bank or store
causes no wrath. But men and wom
en, too aro not accustoinod to delay
in tho telephono service They nro
used to tho quick, cheery inquiry
from "Contral," almost instantly fol
lowing tho first call. Tho unwonted
dolay thuB makes tho busy man
wroth, leads him to noedless expendi
tures of valuable temper and to equal
ly futllo Venting of his anger In
heated language'
Safe to Hold Radium.
What is described by Its makers
as the moBt Ingenious onto over con
structed has just beon completed by
tho Chubb company of London for tho
British Radium corporation. Tho prob-
lem presented to tho manufacturers
was not only to construct a safe that
would bid doflanco to burglars, but
Which would at tho same time prevent
t i '.n t 'i .,
radium emanations will pass through
the thickest and hardest stool. For
this reason tho Inner coffor of this
safe was made of lead throa Inches
thick, Inclosed within a burglar-proof
.ifcn Thnro n .nV Mt,., .nn.
steel shell. There are many other spe
cial features, Including n moans of col
lecting the radium emanations boforo
the coffer Is opened.
This compartment of the safo Is de
signed to hold 100 pounds of radium,
valued at 85,000.000,000. Tho total
weight ot tho safo is ono and a half
iona -
Practical.
An rcnHfnh frin.i. who ronniiB
hat wo Americans havo no true sense
r Matnrln vninn or nwifltin vorifv.
oil. t,A fn1!n,l., tr, rn W tinlnt.
...w ' -
She was at Holyrood last spring, and
tho custodian waa showing her, to-
gother with several Amorlcan tourists,
thn nid rnomn nf the mmiMia cnMn.
Darnley's dressing-room - Specially
charmed her the rare mellow nanolB.
warvelouslv rich with intrlento earv.
lne. and tho oxaulslto narrow windows
bf nualnt doslcn.
Ono of tho Amnrleann. flvldnnllv n
mlddlo-nirnd mnn nf IniHlnnHn. nokml
Ms noso into tho room nnd out attain.
"Whoso did von hiw? nnmlnv'a?
DrosEincroom? Humnhl Vorv noor
light for shaving." Harper's.
Well Shooter Blown to Atoms.
A terrible fato was that of Charles
P. Koy, an oil woll shooter, living In
Wol av II o. Pn.. who was blown to
mlocaa hv nn nmlnnlnn of iiltrn.plvcnr.
lno. Koy was shooting n well about
!flve mllos from town. He comnlotod
the work and left for tho magazine,
about a mile distant, with his team.
A short timo later a torrlflc oxploslon
felt for many nillos around was hoard
In tho direction ot tho magailno. In-
rvestleatlon showed a mammoth nolo
,u" t.i " t..; ."" it
' . -u ,"u,,u w"u . . uul ",.u?"
t. I. it 1.1 ..-
'dropped a enn ot liquid while unload
ing his wagon at tho magazine, as ho
bad not used tho cnttro coutonts of his
load at tho well.
Strnnno Death.
i It would seem that thero are still
feome causes of death which, hayo nol
yet como within tho scopo ot tho
Medical raBn'd observation cortalnly
not of bis registration. Thus wq road iMU ",JB uruisuou m iuu in-
bf a man In a BOUthwcBtrn city who hnUUunta tlio 'correct timo freo- of
dlod bb tho result of having trumpod c,mr8-
his partner's aco And ono of our con- 8unl1 11 tllmB a8 tho clock stopping
temporaries, who is moro sophistl- ia(i ncver before occurred ln tho ins
tated in theso mnttera than wo nro, tory ot tbo clty- Export clock ro
'commenting upon tho incldont, ro- I'alrcra wero Immediately put to work,
marks that there Is only ono thing
that is moro positively fatal Jban
trumping your partner's nco, and that
Is tickling the hind loga of a mulo.
So fr as wo uro ablo to loom, careful
and coraplote prophylaxis is tlm only
effectlvo preventive.
A Model.
ao you minK sir. McoKton is a
model husband," said tht) new member
ot the Boclety.
"I do," answered Mrs. Votoby Ounim.
"Ho Is studying stenography so ns lo
help Ms wlfo with her uuffrago
upeechea,"
A Change.
"Papa, does a hyphen chango
meaning of anything?"
(ho
"Yes, wjih a hyphen you cap change
a flue-tooth comb Into a ilno tooth-
comb.
Jnrrow, England. H. M. S. llorcules, tho first of King Gcorgo'B battleships, was successfully launched re
cently at tho shipyards hero. Tho ceremony that usually accompanies such nn event was considerably cur
tailed, owing to tho recent death of King Edward, and tho British flag on Uio prow of tho vessel was at half-
mast.
FOWL BROTH SACRED
Doctor From China Tells How Na
tives Revere Chicken Soup.
U8ed by chlnoie at Panacea for All
Human Ills and 8ymbol of
Strength and Medium to
Good Health.
Chicago. How chicken soup Is used
Chinese as a panacea for all
humnn "I8' nnd ,h.ow ho f by
means of a joking statement in
creased tho .faith wh.tch.tho Chinese
,, ,, ., , ,, fc..UL
strength nnd a medium to good health
was told In Chicago tho other day
by Dr. W. H. Park, who for 28 years
haa been at tho hoad of Soochow hos
pital in Soochow, China.
'Tho chicken, according to tho Chi
nese Is tho bird of utrength," ex-
Pencil Doctor Park, "nnd tho faith
wnicn moso people pmco in u is won
aonui. wnon n cnuu is amicteu witn
moasies, witn a lever or witn tno
dronded Bmnllpox, Its mothor iinmcdl
broWfl BtroK coucoction of
chicken broth. This uho literally
PUHipB into tho yOUngStOr in tllO belief
,.- .1 . .1. .1 - .1. I
l"?Yuo .?.......
" " "B"'
n6a,nst tho f0118 nndJ P' Ua
currenco. Tho stronger tho brow
n bo ,mado th moro ood tbo moth
w ""uno ,k uu
wny, i onco naa a mothor hrlng
hor bttU0 to "10 suffering with lupus,
a m08t dreaded dlaeaBO and it do-
voiopcu mai as a euro tno woman nod
C(1 'no child BOUp which sho had
,um,u lTom soiling non.
unconsciously l myself nddod to
U110 conviction that tho chicken was
iao nuro curo ror anything in tho line
oi uumenis 10 wnicu tno umncao is
holr. I had Just vucclnnted a child
for ts mothor, and knowing that tho
bol,ot chicken aoup was so strong
jomngiy romaritcu to tho woman
that after four days fiho feed tho
ch,,d tt CUP of broth. 1 snld aftor four
dnyB "ocauso I know that in that time
Kittens Stop
. .
u,"or uo" mngiea up with Im
portnnt Part of Mechanism Trou-
"""'"'MM
Tronton, N. J. For almost a week
Trenton was without official time bo
causa of tho suddou stopping of tho
city hall clock, by which tho residents
ruBUinio uioir limopiOCOS. THO IOC-
tory whlstlou hnvo been either eurly
or ,nto nnd tho working class bus
Poricod tho greatest of dlfllculty
ln ,ryi"K to kcP tnb on tho tlmo- For
uul olu "m" coum not Do gotton
order. Tho exports diagnosed tho
caso ns 0110 of ttcuto indigestion, but
UB r'i'"B n maierm mouicn, uor
pl5ln P,yor8 r monkey wrenches
woU,d l)rvldo R euro, tho city do-
elded thnt tbo old clock was dund, nnd
arrangements were mado for n fu
neral. Janitor Wulter Seruby of tho
city hall was hired an tho undertaker,
and Instructed to glvo "old faithful
a decent funeral, Intorment to bo in
Borne arlatocratlo Junk honp
Bernard R. Walsh, nn attache ot tho
city nsBCssor's om.ee, decided to au
cend tho towor and bid a loving fare
woll to his dear friend, "old faithful."
With tears In his oyes ho glanced nt
the old tlmoploco. Ho was alnno in
tho tower and ns it was dark ho wqb
ctnrtlod by "mow, mow, mow,"
He got a lantern nnd Investigated
llo found u cat and six youngsters
LAUtlCtllHG OP H.M. HERCULE3
tho vaccination would have 'taken'
and I wanted to seo It tho woman
would attrlbuto it to tho soup.
"She most certainly did, nnd after
hor baby's arm had healed sho spread
tho nowB that I was tho greatest
soup doctor In tho land. Hor friends
camo to mo and thon thoy told their
friends, so that almost beforo I know
It I could not vncclnato a child with
out including in my prescription of
treatment a stipulated day on which
chicken soup should bo administered.
Then In soma way It becamo n gen
eral custom for tho rich as well as
tho poor to bring their children to mo
on tholr 'lucky days' designated in tho
ChlncBo almanac for vaccination and
soup prescription.
"But to chango tho subject," con
tinued tho physician, "Chinn Is years
nnd years behind in tho medical pro-
Sure Sign of
When Fish Get Premonition of Death
They Wash Their Faces and
Cling Close Together.
Now York. A report roceived by
wireless of miles of dead fish near the
Diamond BhoalB, which waB sent In
by Captain Johnson ot tho steamship
Morro Castle, is causing much com
ment among mariners. Tho slaughter
of flBh was gonerally attributed to an
earthquake. Later advices Btated that
somo of tho fish appeared to havo
been broken in half by tho force ot
tho quako. Tho story caused South
Btrcot to gosalp and tho headquarters
of tho marine reporters at tho Bat
tery was visited by many In search of
Information.
Captnln Acheaon, formerly ot tho
good ship Lexlcogrnphor, which was
lost In a West Indian hurrlcano somo
years ago, waa among the callers.
"Dead flBh at sea, as a rule, mean
n hurrlcano or an earthquake," said
tho former skipper. "This Captain
T 1. - . ...
jumiBuu Equina 10 navo miBtaKen a
a Town Clock
huddled together ln nn Important part
ot the clock's mechanism. Tho secret
wns out. "Old faithful" today Is giving
the city correct time and sounding tho
half and full hours, and Trenton Is
Joyous.
New Cigar Record.
Chicago. waltor W. Soergol has
broken the long distance clgnr
smoking record, held by William
Mnckenzlo ot Washington, D. C.
Soergol, a telegraph operator,
smoked a cigar ot ordinary length
115i minutes without relighting. The
previous rocord was 84 M mlnutea.
Balalaika Craze in London
New Russian Musical Instrument
Reaches English Metropolis
Effects Novel and Beautiful.
London. This city Is threatened with
a "balalaika" crazo. This strango
RusBlan Instrument, resembling a
three-cornered banjo, took tho town
by storm somo time ago when n Rus
sian balalaika orchestra performed
horo. Tho. uovel and beautiful effects
produced mado tho balalaika instantly
popular. Now n band of English must
clans has been trained to play the
balalaika by Prince Tschngadorff, who
was tho soloist with tho original Rus
sian orchestra. Tho instrument Is ox
troinoly easy to play, so that only a
few weeks sulhcod for tho English
players mostly members of the fa
fesslon. Tho country Is full of supor
stltlon, and those doctors who do prac
tlso thcro aro -content to rely simply
upon tho old books which have been
left by their ancestors. As diagnostic
clans thoso doctors aro nil right, but
they know nothing of anatomy, of
physiology or of chomlstry. Tho
younger generation Is anxious to learn
and there nro somo Americans, lnclu
ding myself, who aro doing their best
to teach them.
"American dentists In Shanghai aro
getting wealthy," Dr. Park added.
"China is a country of bad teeth and
tho suffering among Inland natives,
who havo to endura tho inhuman
treatment of tho traveling quack den
tlstB is terrible They havo no means
of treatment excent to soak the Kums
with a decaying fluid' and then extract
tho tooth with their thumb and fin
ger. Amorlcan missionaries who go
Into tho country do a great work by
supplying themselves with forceps
and pulling teeth for the natives,
There is a great field thero for pro
fcsBlonal dentists."
Sea Disaster
school of dead ones for a reef a mile
or so long, over which tho waves wero
breaking. Now there is a reason for
that. Whon fish get a premonition of
death they cling closely together.
I've seen n wholo mile of them ln
death, so that thoy appear to havo
grabbed ono another ln a death
struggle
"Thcro Is a suro sign ot a coming
quaKo at sea. it s when you see a
flsh washing his face. A fish washes
his faco in sunshine. Ho comes up
with his faco all full of water and
turns it up and keeps It up till it
drloB. Now, why does ho wash it dry.
whon ho goes right down into tho wa
ter again and gots It wet? Ain't It
tho samo with a man? Ho washes his
faco by wetting it, and then dries it
off ngain.
"I'll bet that It Captain Johnson had
got out and inspected them flsh ho
would havo seen that Inside ot a few
hours every ono ot them had been
washing his face.
Captain Wood, who had sailed the
seas longer than Captain Acheson,
corroborated tho statement that flsh
wash their faces beforo any unusual
occurrence.
Mule Limps; $50 In His Hoof.
San Bornardlno, Cal. A pack mule
ln from the desert after a Ave months'
nrnanRctlnir exncdltlnn 1nvlmiorl n
limn. Examination of iho miiin'hnnf r
vonimi ii cold nutmot Pstimnrt tr. h
worth $50. The mule is tho property
of Clydo Durham nnd Jnmes Desmond.
nmnnnrtom tint thnv h nn i,i.
In what part ot tho desert the gold
was picked up.
The Way It Works.
"What Is love?" Bhe asked.
"Lovo," he answorcd, "Is a brand of
Insanity thnt makes a man call a 300
pound woman his Uttlo tootsy wootsy."
mous Coldstream Guard band to be
come proficient under tho prince's tui
tion. They gavo a concert at the
Queen's hall tho othor day, playing
plocos ot Mendelssohn, Grieg and oth
er classical composers, and scoring a
great success. Now numerous ama
teurs aro acquiring balalaikas and
forming bands of their own.
Japs Qupersedn British,
Seattle. Tho suporfledlng of British
ofllcors uy Japanese on tho trans
pacific liners, tho officers being re
moved ono oy one, generally at this
end of tho run, Is said to bo duo to tho
pressuro exerted by Japanese public
opinion, which demands tho manning
of Japaneso vessels entirely by Jap
anese
ITIE3
Ideal Man as Barnard Girls See Him
mm
etfomi
BYE 5,
fOOTER
HI'S Sua
NY
IDEAL
EW YORK. "Wanted, a man;
brown oyes, hnir nnd nccktlo. Last-
mentioned artlclo may also bo lav
ender or torquolsc-blue. A six-footer.
Mny smoke, may not smoko, may
smoko only n plpo. Scnso of humor
Imperative. Income of $2,000 a year
nnd prospects. A perfect gontlcman
nnd the owner of nn nuto. No dentists,
professors or undertakers need npply."
Nny, gcntlo reader. That 13 not nn
ml. of Charles Dana Gibson for n
summer man; nor tho specifications
for tho latest hero or victim In a Rob
ert W. Chambers novel, nor a mana
ger's plcturo of a tnntlneo idol. It is
merely tho collective husband of Bar
nard, 1910.
"I guess glrla aro Just girls, whether
thoy go to collcgo or not," sniffed tho
maiden aunt from tho country, when
Bho heard this paragon of masculinity
solemnly proclaimed by Miss draco
Roodor ns tho 1910 common Ideal for
n soul.matCf It wna at tho ciasa.day
exercises of tho "coeds" in tho Co
lumbia gymnasium. But others sighed.
"Thoso Barnard girls havo spent
N
Why School Girls Laughed at the "Cop"
BUFFALO, N. Y. Policeman Edward
O'Grady of tho third precinct de
lights In reading tho papers. When
Interested ln an article his enttro at
tention is absorbed. Ho illustrated
tho Idea by a story ho told to Police
man Richard Tobln.
"I was coming down in a Niagara
street car and was reading how Ootch
threw Zbyszko. A woman with a big
hat camo Into tho car and I moved
next to the window to make room.
Sho sat down on tho seat besldo mo.
There were somo snips of girls in tho
Beats across ho aislo and back ot mo.
They wero on their way to school,"
said O'Qrady.
. ie lfQ UV " Z Jh
b "J?
" . J " '
hand and gavo tho ear a gentle
brush.
After a Uttlo I felt tho tickling
again, but being interested in tho pa
per, I Just gavo another littlo brush
with my hand.
"My car was tickled again, but hir
ing still interested, I Just put up my
hand again and not thinking of much
gavo tho ear another brush.
Magicians Have Fun
fawn.
iTHaA
'.o POPP
real '
FOR
MONEY
MONEY
DY
tfAR
31
N
about sixteen years old approached
tho clerk ot tho Hotol Marlborough a
tow nights ago and asked tbo clerk to
give him a one-dollar bill for a Oliver
dollar. Tho clerk handed over tho
bill, but boforo tho youthful person
had relieved himself of tho silver dol
lar ln oxchango ho toro tho bill In
half.
Tho clerk starod. Then tho youth
oIded tho hnlvcs of tho torn bill to
Bethor and ripped them somo moro.
F,mU,y on,y tiny Peces f bin were
ln h,B flnBrs, all rolled up Into a
very Bmall wad. As tho clerk was
about to got his breath tho youngster
unwound tho wad of green and showed
tho ndmlrlug onlookers that tbo bill
was qulto as untorn and as wholly
sound ns It had ovor been.
Tho boy handed his cards around
then and they told In pink ink that ho
is "Max Heir, Magician. Merry Ma
fi $LLHl"l.!Pi.
ST.
ai
LOUIS. Somowhoro In the
anatomy of John Honry of Upper
Alton thero Is a five-dollar bill that
ho chewed up and swallowed while
eating a cheeso sandwich. Whtle
munching placidly on tho sandwich
W. W. Lowo nBked Mr. Honry to
chunge five dollars.
Holding tho bill between his teeth,
Henry begnu to "frisk" himself with
ono hand for tho chango while with
the other ho continued to carry tho
slowly disappearing sandwich to his
mouth. By the time the change had
been counted out nnd laid on tho
four yenrs studying ethics and psy
chology nnd logarithms and social re
form," moaned a spectacled professor,
"Now, will you tell mo how tho bar
mony between a man's eyes nnl tie
affects his understanding of tho liar
mony between EplcuruB and Wnltci
Pator?" Tho professor's eyes, by th
wity, wero small and palo bluo, and'
his tic was btack with whlto spots.
"And what has Mb devotion to nlcc
tlne to do with his devotion to Karit't
'A Critique of Pure Reason?' And
wherein does his possession of a mo
tor car imply his possession of tin
complcto works of John Ruskln7 And'
then tho supremely silly insistence on
tho fact that ho shall not bo a high
priest In tho Templo of Knowledge"
Indignation choked him thero.
"And Just to think," camo acldlj
from a sovcro lady who woro t
"votes for women" button, "thcro isn't'
a tiling in that description about thi
man's being a suffragist! And nc
girl ought to marry any man until he
promises ho'll work for tho cause."
Notwithstanding tholr adverse crlt
lcs tho young women In cap nnd gown
clapped vociferously at tho public an
nouncement of tho chosen charms ot
their horo, as previously obtained bj
statistical count. And two-thirds oi
them want him, by tho way. They snj
they "find In marriage their highest
vocation."
"Well, again I wna tickled and
again gave a brush, as a man wllL
As my hand went up tho last time, 1
Beo that tho snips of girls about vat
Ib giggling.
"I looks back and see that tho twe
lassies behind mo nro holding thelt
books in their hands and am pretty
woll satisfied that they were not rub
bing my ear with a straw. When mj
car is tickled again, I brush back with
my hand again. Tho girls giggled
louder.
"Says' I to myself, 'they're laughing
because 1 nearly struck tho faco ot
tho woman besldo me So I excused
myself to her and explained that my
mind was so taken up with tho papci
that I forgot Bho was there. 'That'
nothing,' sho says, 'read your papei
and don't mind mo.'
"My mind wns mado up this timo,
flea or fly or whatover It was; I waa
bound to catch it I only prctendod
to read. My ear was tickled. Like a
shot back goes tho hand. Tho wom
an's hat swings round nnd nearly
saws tho eyo out of my head.
"It was a long feather, running
round tho hat and dangling out be
hind, that had been rubbing my car.
1 had grabbed the feather. 1 thought
the snips of schoolglrlB would break
their sides. Tho woman wns good
natured, when sho found the hat
wasn't broko. 1 got off the car al
Jersey street i.nd waited for tho next
car down town."
at Annual Dinner
ments of Modern Magic, Mirth nai
MyBtery."
"Oh," said tho clerk, who had beet
thinking a second beforo about tclo
phoning to the psychopathic ward ai
Bollevuo for an ambulance, "youin
ono of tho crowd having dinner here
tonight."
Thero were about 150 men nnd worn
en maglcluns Just oft tbo lobby, and
thoy were celebrating tho s'lxth nn
nual banquot of the American Soclotj
of Magicians. Tho masters of hlacl
magic who dine together onco a yeai
number a few professional pcrformora
but by far tho greater part of tin
membership Is mado up of amateurs
And It Boomed that about half o!
theso dllottnntes havo tho degreo o:
M. D.
Tho magicians put pink hnndker
chiefs Into bottles of water after theli
dinner and then fired rovolvors nt thi
bottles, whereupon both handkerchlo:
and water suddenly disappeared
leaving nn empty bottlo on tho table
And they did many other wondroui
things that appenlcd to tho audlonc
of exports ami which caused mnnj
dark skinned waiters who wero sup
posed to bo nt work in tho ndjolnlnj
dining room to linger wlde-oypd nt tin
doorways watching the marvels.
rounter tho last of tho sandwich line
been eaten and Hcury naked when
tho bill wns.
"Last I saw of it," Bald Mr. Lowo
"you woro holding- It In your tocth."
"That's so," paid Henry. "1 di
stick tho corner of thnt bill in mj
mouth to hold it nnd clean forgot It
I romombor now that tho sandwlcl
tasted klud of peculiar nnd I though',
you had put a leaf of lettuce Into 1
like they do In thoso club Bnndwlchci
thoy Borve In tho city for two bits."
Mcnnwhllo the five dollars li
chango had boon given Lowe, am
whon Henry began to llguro out when
ho enmo In on tho transaction thi
best he got was an ausuranco from al
present thnt ho undoubtedly had tin
money nnd that thero wan no chnnct
n, his spending It.
Honry has been trying, to figuri
how ho can bo "money In" and "mono;
out" at tho samo timo.
