TRIED REMEDY
FOR THE GRIP.
Nebraska directory
A California Man
writes to the
Uncle Sam
Breakfast Food Co.
"I find your food the best
remedy for CONSTIPATION
ns well ns the most palatable
Breakfast Food on the market,
and recommend same to my
friends." (Signed)
E. Moran, Los Angeles.
What more could be said.
ARE THE BEST
ASK YOl.'U IAM3AT, DICAT.KU Oil
JOIIH DEERE PLOW CO., OMAHA, Nlir..
25c pea lb.
Air-TitSht Scaled Cans
(Red Label)
Bulk coffco loses strength very
rapidly so buy I'AXTON'S GAS
ROASTED In cans, sealed air-Unlit,
Coffco roasted in ovens docs
not have the strength, nor the
flavor that I'AXTON'S GAS
ROASTED docs. Because gas
roasting (in the flame) is done in
one-third the time of any other
process, thus savin); the delicate
true flavor and all of the strength.
Ask Your Grocer
for It
BILLARD HOTEL i
13th ni
i DjujIjj Sts.
Amorlcan--S2.00 por day and upwnrdn.
Kuropeon-OI.OO per day and upward.
nuAtlA Take Doclrto Utreet Car
uiitnnn
at Union Dopot.
ROftflE MILLER
TAFT'S DENTAL ROOMS
1517 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB.
Reliable Dentistry at Msdtrate Prisu.
if jiy whan for f ro eiainlmitton. No Aiv
.on (.(.. 1 1 WMHtuidj.,naaa.
Birds & Animals kinds' Mounted
J. E. WALLACE, Taxidermist and Furrier
2020 Loko Stroot OMAHA, NES.
33 3SB. O W NT ' 25
BBONCBUAXf Troches
A, convenient anJ effective rcmJy for Cougha ani
Hoarunexs. Invaluabli In BtonchUland Lut.XroM:i
end to Singers and Speakers icr clearing the voire,
tSitlrc!" frsi from oobtcf or ny h-in-iiul fojrcdlent.
?ric, 55 ceiiU. Off efcr.fj r: ' ."9 Jr l"
Sair.fls mailed on reque-.t.
triHN I. TtROWN A "VjTC. fiTu,..
"ASIU Thompson's Eye Watof
Children's Couphs
Onei Much (Jnnecstssiy Sufferlna
throats sad prevce.'j more w-ioui il'iira. ChiHren
litolttoo wrfcmctU take wd ticei net ur
lllO tOtUA(i.
All DruircUU, 25 cent).
ipttl
JFotfOM!
gCQl.D
u
Ask Yur $wm j
waMBnmiMuuiLiniiiii miiiii bmi
JOHN DEERE PLOWS
i -
TYPpR!TEflS ftn
U to H Sltr'n prlu. Caiti nr time pay.
r
ITAppe
Some Wants of a
UFIWLO, N. Y. Advocating a fed
oral law which would compel ho-
tela to furnish nothing lesa than nine
foot blnnkots, a son of Antik at tlio
Statlor hotel told his troubles to the
management In a letter from which
this Is an extract:
"I stand six foot, four Incites In my
stocking foct nnd I am fi feet, 0
Inches from my chin to tho floor, Now
I have failed to find In this hotel a
blanket which Is over six feet, six.
Inches long. Unless I havo tho blank
et tucked In around my neck I catch
cold; nnd If I do tuck theso short
blankets around my neck, why, then
1 havo to null them up from tho bot
tom and my feet gut cold.
"I bcllovo thcro Is a law In Texas
which compels hotel proprietors to
furnish nine-foot blnnkots. I could do
with a blanket seven feet, ten inches
long. However, I'd llko to see a fod
oral law passed fixing -tho nine-foot
limit"
Tho complaint" was found In tho
complaint nnd suggestion box of tho
hotel nnd afforded fjulto a bit of
amusement to Mr. Statlcr and his
manager, Mr. Larabco. Somo weeks
ago when tho plan of asking guests to
make suggestions and criticisms was
"Shoots Up" New York in Western Way
EW YORK. New York wns "shot
up" recently by a bad man from
tho wild nnd woolly west. Other folks
from the west hnvo tried to "shoot up"
New York In tho past, but without ex
ception thoy havo failed sadly and
miserably. This ono didn't. Ho got
away with it and tho police nro still
looking for him.
It happened in an tip-town hotel. A
tall and angular stranger with flaunt
ing black locks nnd an untamed look
in his eye tho kind of Individual that
tho gold brick snlesman regards as
"fresh meat' drifted Into tho lobby
and lot his gnzo fall wlthcrlngly on a
group of soft and well-fed drummers
who lolled in tho easy chairs.
"Huh," ho snorted, contemptuously,
"a bunch of stall-fed steers."
"I beg your pardon," said a neatly
dressed youth. "Did you speak?"
The atranger took in tho neat look
ing young man with ono piercing
glnnco. His wild oyo travoled from
Spook, in Hurry,
CHICAGO. "Let mo talk a minute. I
havo an important engagement on
another planet, and must hasten," de
manded in sepulchral tones the spirit
ot Dotcctlvo Philip Fltzslmmons' de
parted grandfather at a spiritualistic
pcanco ut 315G Indiana avenue a few
nights ago.
Perhaps Fltzslmmons' departed.
grandfather was tinawaro that since
tils doparturo tho grandson hnd Joined
tho Chlcngo pollco force. At all events,
neither tho "spirit" nor tho "sitters"
were prepnred for what ensued.
Fltzslmmons, groping his way in tho
darkened room to the cabinet, seized
n hand outstretched from it and
dragged tho spirit forth, struggling vio
lently and emitting shrieks in n fem
inine voice, strangely in contrast with
that which, hud announced the Impor
Eats Two Dozen Eggs to Win a Wager
:
ST. LOUIS. With ogga 40 cents a
dozen, Fred Parker ato two dozen
fried and asked for more.
Fred Parker is not tho J. Picrpont
Morgan of St. Louis, as might bo
thought from hlu costly epicurean font.
Ho Is not even tho ownor of a paltry
million, and whllu ho does not havo
to walk or hang on streot car straps in
his travels about tho city, his riding
is done, not in an automobllo ton
neau, but on the seat of an oxprcss
wagon,
Ho was "turning in" at the head
quarters of his etnployors, nt 4971 Pol
mar boulevard, when he heard tho
other drivers discussing tho incrcuso
in tho price of food,
"I carried n crato of eggs on my
Big Hotel's Guests
inaugurated it was expected that tho
guests Would take kindly to tho idea,
but nobody expected so many sugges
tions would como In.
Uouciucts and brickbats, llttlo and
big suggestions, peculiar requests
all sorts of missives havo boon
dropped in tho box. Ono man wroto:
"Do not clmngo a thing. Your hotol
is tho best anywhere for tho money,
nnd thero are few bettor nt nny price."
That same day this came:
"I wish you would havo tolegrams
put In tho guests' box. I asked throo
times for a telegram today, and be
cause it wasn't in my box I lost a
bunch of money." Ho was from Co
balt, Out.
"Would it not bo n good idea,"
wroto another, presumably n woman,
"to havo, either freo or nt a nominal
cost, rubber caps that may bo put on
tho head when getting under the
shower?" This suggestion probnbly
will be adopted.
Ono man wants tho writing desks In
tho nddftlou made higher; another
would lllto talcum powder and dental
cream in sample tubos furnished freo
with the soap; another would appre
ciate a llttlo Bpou'go in every room to
"stick' envelopes with, whilo still an
other would find laundry slips in tho
rooms a convenience.
"I would like n hook put at tho
head of my bed," wroto an ldlosyn
crous marvel, "to hang my vest on,
so that when I wake up In the morn
ing I could reach out nnd got my
watch to sco what tlmo it is."
the top of that young man's head to
tho toes of his sIioch and thero it
stopped.
"I did," ho vouchsafed. "I spoko,
nnd now I'm going to shoot."
Thereupon ho drew n largo blue pis
tol from hbt hip pocket.
"You Infernal yap," ho lnnulrod,
"where did you get thososhocs. Uance,
you tenderfoot, danco!"
It Is, perhaps, needless to add that
tho neat young man dnnced. Ho
dnnccd and ho jigged 1 alas, he did a
buck and wing, not to speak at a fan
dango and a Cubanola glide.
"Fastor," said tho stranger, firing a
shot at tho celling. "Faster, you dudo,
faster!"
Tho young man tried' to danco fast
er and tho stranger accelerated tho
tersichorcan movoment by firing four
more shots nt the electric lights. Then
tho neat young man stopped from
sheer exhaustion.
Ono bullot remained in tho bad
man's gun, nnd ho fired, that Into tho
neat young mnn's ankle. Then ho
strolled out into tho street, while a
crowd stood gaping at him, too terri
fied to raiso a detaining ham!. When
tho pollco arrived ho had disappeared
as completely as if ho had been a
snowball on a hot frying pan.
Loses False Teeth
tant engagement on another planet,
until tho spirit's sot of fnlso teoth fell
to tho lloor.
. Simultaneously, five other dotec
tlvcs hnd turned nu tho lights and the
illumination revealed n woman of mus
cular build struggling with Fltzslm
mons, four other women vainly seek
ing egress at a door guarded by a de
tective, nnd other men and women,
ono of tho former more than 70 years
old, cowering in their chnirs.
Mrs. C. IJ. Green's materialization
of those in tho beyond had been emi
nently successful from tho standpoint
of tho detectives, resulting In tho ar
rest of live persons besides Mrs.
Green, who is 50 yenrs old, and who
had impersonated tho detective's
grandfather.
At tho Harrison streot pollco sta
tion one of tho women indignantly do
tiled that her namo nnd initial were as
sumed as descriptive of tho part she
had been ploying nt tho seanco.
The raid followed tho lssuanco of
warrants against Green and his wlfo
taken out by Detective Fltzslmmons
as a result of complaints from per
sons who nheged they had been de
frauded by the Greens.
wagon to day," said ono of tho men,
"and If nnytlMr g had happened to them
It would have boon mo to tho woods.
My next month's cnvolopo wouldn't
have patcJ for them,"
"What'o that?" demanded Fred
Parker, breaking Into tho conversa
tion. "Why, I eat a dozen eggs bo
foro breakfnst ovory morning, Just tc
get my apprlto up. I could eat two
dozen in ten minutes now."
"We'vo got ten dollars that sayii
you can't," said ono of tho men
"You'ro on," said Parker, and It wns
then agreed that ho should havo o
loaf of bread, all tho coffee ho want
,ed, and 15 minutes to "clean tip" the
repast.
. Tho first flvo minutes showed tho
other drivers that thoy word losora
At 7: in, two minutes beforo his tlmo
was up, Parker had consumed the
eggs, the loaf of bread and a bottle
of catsup, and had drunk two quarts
of coffee.
"Now," he remarked, as ho pocket
ed tho ten dollars, "I'm going out and
got dinner."
WORTH KNOWING.
Simple Remedy That Anyone Can Pro
parn at Home.
Most pooplo nro more or loss sub
ject t coughs and colds. A simplo
romcdy that will break up n cold
quickly and euro nny cough that Is
curnblo is mado by mixing two ounces
of Glycerine, a half-ounco or Virgin
Oil of Pino compound puro nnd eight
ounces of puro "Whisky. You can got
thoso in nny good drug storo nnd ens.
Ily mix them In n lnrgo bottle. Tho
tnlxturo is highly recommended by
tho Leach Chemical Co. of Cincinnati,
who proparo tho genuine Virgin Oil of
Pino compound puro for dispensing.
INSULT TO "INJURY.
Shoomnkcr Well, If that Isn't all
Tight. Instead of paying my bill, ho
ticks mo down stairs, and with tho
now boota l'vo mado him, too.
SUFFERED TERRIBLY.
Mow Relief from Distressing Kidney
Trouble Wao Found.
Mrs. Elizabeth Wolf, SSS W. Morgan
St., Tipton, Mo., says: "Intlammntlou
oi tho b ; a d d o r
reached its climnx
last spring and I suf
fered terribly. My
back ached nnd
pained so I could
hnrdly got around
nnd tho secretions
woro scanty, fro
quont of passago
and Gainful. I was
tired all tho tlmo and very nervous. I
began using Donn's Kidney Pills, and
after taking a few boxes was cured
and havo been well over since."
Homember tho name Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. CO conts a box. Fostor
Mllburn Co., Jbiffalo, N. Y.
Fog-Eye's Plaintive Protest.
Fog-Eyo Smith of northwest Wy
oming boro an appalling facade. His
stylo of beauty was a blight. Depend
ing upon his horritlc exterior, ho wa3
In tho habit of trying to awo newcom
ers. On ono occasion, affecting somo
displcnsuro.at tho manner in which a
pallid stranger watered his liquor, Mr.
Smith announced, frowning, that un
less ho dotoeted itnmedlato amend
ment ho would send tho neophyto
homo in a market basket. "Which I'll
suro tear you up a wkolojlot," said
Fog-Eyo. Half an hour later Mr. Smith
was found groping about on tho floor
undor tho poker tablo, hunting for his
glnss oyc, and muttering to himself.
Tho stranger asked with somo evi
dence of Jmpatienco whnt now lino of
sentimonts Mr. Smith wns now har
boring. That injured resident, glaring
malovolcntly from bencnth tho furni
ture, replied: "Which I surodohato a
man with no senso ot humor."
Certainly Not Present.
It wns in ono of tho colored schools
of Baltimore, and tho teachor was
an inexperienced ono. Thoro was talk
ing among tho llttlo negroes beforo
her.
"I want absolute silenco," she said
Boverely. "
Still tho talking continued.
"1 want absolute silence," slio re
peated again.
At tho third demand one vory small
girl spoko up boldly.
"Assaluto Silenco nln't hynr," sho
said. "She's got Jo toofacho." Lip
plncott's Magazine.
How's This?
We oiler One Hundred Dollars newurd for any
cue ot catarrh lUat cannul bo cured by IUU'a
Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CI! HNEY & CO., Toifdo. O.
We, the undrraUncd, have known I'. J, Cheney
(or the lait 15 ycara, and believe him perfectly hon
orable In all buslneea transactions and financially
iblo to carry out any obllutlons mado by hu arm.
Waldincj, Kinnan A Marvin,
Wholesale Drunclsts. Toledo, O.
nail's Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally, acting
llrectly upon the blood and mucous surfaces ot the
lystem. Testimonials scut free. I'rlce 7s cau per
bottle. Sold by all nruwrUts.
'mo UaU' Family l'UH for constipation.
Rather Tall,
"That," said Senator Tillman of an
opponent's argument, "la an amusing
exaggeration." ,
He smiled.
"In fact," ho continued, "It Is as
had nn exaggeration ns tho story
about Ben Johnson's height. Thoy
said of Den, you know, tho cnndldato
for sheriff, that when he mado a stump
speech, instead of gottlng n stump
rendy for him to mount, thoy would,
because ho wns so tall, dig a hole for
him to stand In."
AIXKN'H I.UNO It A I.SAM
4111 cure nut only a trnilirolil. IniKiiitiof thoso ttnt
burn coughs that uually hanyon for months. Ulye
(t a trial and prdro Its north. 2Sc. MM and 11X0.
Wo would nil write our names on
tho scroll ot fnmo but for tho Innum
erable tribo of olbow Joggers,
Mrs. tVlntlowa Kootlilntr Bjrun.
For children testhlnie, softcm tho i;utai, reduces In
Somniutlon, allij pain, cures wind coltu too a bottle.
To learn to. vork nnd, work cheer
fully is tho central lesson ot llfo.
Cowon.
Many who used to muoko 10c cigars nro now
smoking Lew.n' (single Hinder straight Cc.
It might Improve the pound cako to
hit it with an ax.
PUTNAM
Color moro poodi bflohtar and taster colon than any other dje. One tOopackaoe color all fiber. Thti drain cold water better than any other dre. You can dv
rtuotrraenrisilhoutrloainaanarL Wrlla tor lioo book et-Ho toBlO, UIKtl Bfli UlX Color. MOMIIOe nnim nn.. n..t., mr r ' '
t ...... - -
Pleasant l(ereshig, Beneicial,
Syrup of Figs and Elixir of
Senna appeals to the cultured
and the well-informed and the
healthy because its component
parts arc simple and whole
some and because it acts with
out disturbing the natural func
tions, as it is wholly free from
every objectionable quality or
substance. In its production a
pleasant a,nd refreshing syrup
of the figs of California is unit
ed with the laxative and car
minative pfopcrtics of certain
plants known to act most bene
ficially, on the human system,
when its gentle cleansing is de
sired. To get its beneficial ef
fects, always buy the genuine,
for sale by all reputable drug
gists; one size only, price
fifty cents a bottle. The name
of the company California
Fig Syrup Co. is always plain
ly printed upon the front of ev
ery package of the genuine.
LOUISVILLE, KY.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
F
STEADY
WHITE
JJCHT
RALLIED TO THE DEFENSE
Parlor Maid Was Loyal, Dut It le
Doubtful If Explanation Helped
Matters Very Much.
Walter Lonsdalo, Dr. Cook's secre
tary, was adducing facts in prnlso of
Dr. Cook.
"And these fnctB," ho concluded,
"prove my chlof's honor; and tho oth
er sldo's dofonoo la ns weak as tho
woll-known dofenso of tho parlor
maid."
Mr. Lonsdnlo glanced nt his Jug
gage packed for Copenhagen. Then ho
laughed nnd resumed:
" 'Mary said a mistress to hor par
lor mnld, 'what tlmo did my husband
get homo last night?'
"'Not till four, mum,' tho maid an
swored. " T thought so,' snld tho mistress.
'Hero It's ovcnlng, nud tho bruto not
up yet!'
"Tho maid bridled dofonsivoly.
" 'Oh, but, mum,' sho said, 'ho has
been up onco, mum; but ho Just drank
his bnth and went back to bed again "
Her Idea of Discipline.
Ono day recontly, Just after tho
opening of tho Ualtimoro schools, tho
teachor of a primary class had occa
sion right nt tho start to enforce dis
cipline. "Hero, young man!" alio exclaimed,
Indicating a pupil whoso namo oho did
not yet know, "I caw you laughing
In this school!"
"I wns only thinking about some
thing, ma'am," said tho youngster,
sheepishly.
"Well, don't lot that happen in
school again," said the teacher, stern
ly. Sunday Mngazlno of tho Cleve
land Loader.
Probably a Female Doctor."
"My wlfo looks very poorly, you
think, doctor?"
"Yes, I do."
"What do yon think sho needs?"
"A now hat and u now dress 1"
Yonkers Statesman.
PII.KH CUllRD IN 0 TO 14 IAVN.
VA7.0 fllNTMUNU'lacuarantrtuI to curn uny cat
lit ltchltiR, Hll nit, lllerdlnu or rrolrudluu 1'Ilua In
llo Wdjjaer uiouer refunded. Wo.
He who gives better homes, better
books, hotter tools, a falror outlook
and a bettor hope, blm will wo crown
with Inurolo. Uincrtion.
WTTY Buffer with fyn troubled, quirk re
lief by using PETTITAS KYJi kAlVN, 25o.
All drut'gistsorllowardllroa., UulTulo.N, Y.
Ho loves his country host who
strives to make- it best. Ingersoll.
nooToit YnrmsKMi-
whenyon feel n rolil coinlnu oil hyUisuiK afnwdoma
nt l'trrv JaWi' I'ninkWer. It Isbetit-r ihiiuOultilao
and eater. Tho largo U)o botlltisuro lhai'hii4iit
Tlmo ennnot romove kindly acts
from n grateful heart Hoystou
FADELESS DYE
- 7j
NEW YORK, N Y.
1 1 1 ii ii ii mmm ni
11
mum
Tho RAYO.LAMP is n litgh-pada lamp, told at a low puce.
There ate lomm that cost more, but thrceis no better lamp at any
price. The Uurner, tho Wick, tho Qiimney.HoliJcr all are
vital thing! In a lamp; ths:e pirts ot tho KAYPLAMP are
perfectly constructed and thero i no'.hing known in tho art ol
lamp. making that could add to tho valuo of tho RAYO at
a lyit-fjving device. Suit able (or any room in any houie.
Kvory dealer oTrrjwbero. ir rot nt y.onr,.wrlto
for ilocrliiilTo circular hi Ihn nearctt Aucncy of t bo
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
Uncoiiioralcd)
WESTERS! GANAHA
Wt:at J. J. Hill, the Croat Railroad MntCJiato,
Soyo About Its Wliaat-Produclns Poveri
"The ijrnitcl reel of this country
lion fir inn lvi 1 1 uauiu,rn.
Vlulng ol homes rur.lta
pconlK nna nrouurlnu
sutilolent fnrtlietm 'Xho
lus ot nur cromlnenco
ns n nheut ciiiortlnii
fount ry km enna. (Jan.
itila is to to tho (ireat
This irrontrallmnd mag.
nut Is tnklnu advantsKti
of tho sllnntlon y
Irnstvri rallivny IntlM-
lliif in tlio ivln-iit fields
vi viem cnmuia,
Upwards of 1213 Million
Btishc'a of Wheat
vrorolinrvostrdln IUoJT, XtTCO
of tho throo ror!noo of All-:"'.
Hiinlrute)ionnnii(lMnnltnl)(i wlllCB
uiniaru.o. .i uiitiit'iaix riKTC.
I'mui l.nm. ...,.. . .fin . . . .
niwl iidjidiiltiir irtwni)tl(inuf'
ho liucl In tho ,'iolTt itlitrli'ls.
KftinoN coiivrnlenl. clliimto
rxmlliMit, noil (ho very lit ft,
rtillwriyo clixn nt limid, liulld
Inir luiiiticr rlip:ii, furl cnr to
trot mid imaoiiiihlu in price,
jinter cnnllr iriwiurl mixed
fiirmlnir n mtro-ss. Wrlto an to
boat iilnce for Milllemoiit, mittlrn'
low ridlnay rutin, .lekcrhitlvolllii.
t ratml " l.At licit Vfrrt " (mint free
oniippllcntlpn), and other Informa
tion, to ttup t ot lmtnliCTtllan,
(Huns, Cnn., or to tho Oauadiaa
Uovvruniout Ateat.
W. V. 0ENMETT
Reom 4 fin Side Omihi, Kib,
(T7,o iwIilniM nosroot jnal. (I)
The Wretchedness1
of Constipation .
Can quickly be overcome by
CARTER'S LITTLE
LIVER PILLS.
Purely vegetable
act surely and
cenuy on the
liver. Curo
niliouiacu, .
Head,
ache,
Din!.
new, and Indigestion, They do their duty.
Small Pill, Smalt Dose, Smell Price.
GENUINE must Lear t'trnaiuie:
A Lifetime of Good Service
NO STROPPING NO HONING
KNOWN THO -'!' WORLD OVCH
PAUKEtt'a
HAIR BALSAM
Olanr.r, and ItfinUfles tho lulr.
I-ruiiiutAi a losuitant Rtowi.
riuvsr Fails to llaatoro Oray
jimr to iit luiiuitui viur.
Uuiu (Cttlp dlteucs A hilr Ulllrg.
V.ndtUOt IlnicirliU "
PATENT V)0!tIl)!:iH. Thyn)aybrlnTOu
r'lUitemld&Cu.. l-at.Attys..toi K. Viliil)toil.l).a
W. N. U OMAHA, NO, 6-1910.
- - it MHfiivi.rf 1 1 1
yjsvsjjiaisw ws s s un. i
Tli' (RIVER
,JTSfJsW laNuiiii I