LOVE'S WACE,
The labor of love is through toil and pain.
And oft unkempt is his ragged hair.
The labor of love is without a price: '
TTl wpKC nsks he save her lips to kiss.
Her f smile to hearten, to see the riso
Uf red in her check lovo's wage is this.
Small measure of praiso has the world for
him j
But when, at even, n little head
-Lies close in his arm as the dav grows dim,
ioves . crown is won and "his cross is
lieu.
Arthur Stanley Riggs. in Life.
-I OBERT J. CLIFFORD, of
I the United States Secret
Service, Is n lucky man. Ills
chiefs think lie is tho most
brllliont young detective !u the De
partment, nnd perhaps they are right,
but his luck Is proverbial, too, and the
combination Is rapidly making bis
lame.
Ills first great coup was the capture
nnd destruction of the famous Laredo
counterfeiting plant, which wns then
Hooding Texas with silver dollars of
full weight and line workmanship.
The excellence of the Imltntlon nnd
the true ring of the illegal dollars
were the admiration and despair of the
authorities, and for month the bent
detectives In tho service tried nnd
failed to get trace of the Illicit mint.
Clifford was tho third man sent to
Texas on the cafje, nnd ho had llltlo
reason to hope for success where older
nnd moro famous men had met only
disappointment. The night of his ar
rival, leaving bis luggugc at the sta
tion, ho set out to And n modest board-lng-house,
nnd before nine o'clock he
was Installed in the back bedroom
of a one-story adobe houso in Nueva
Leon street. The old hag who an
swered his rap at the street door wns
a Mexican, but the Interior of her
house was clean and cool, nudl as sho
assured him that neither women nor
children were among her roomers, he
struck a bnrgaln and moved In. The
next day he began to "size up" tho
town, and before dark he came home
with a mental list of half a dozen
places whence the queer dollars Issued
plentifully, and several specimens of
the bogus coin itself.
On the front of the bouse In which
he now lived Clifford snw a little tin
sign lettered:
: BZUAK. PAYTON, ASSAYER. :
' : Spanish and English Taught. :
' "Moro luck," thought Clifford. "If
lie's a safe man I may use his services.
I'll Just look him over now."
So he rapped at a door with Payton's
name on it nnd beard n strong, musical
voice shout: '.'Come in!" The voice
fitted the man whom Clifford found
silting In an easy chair, with a book
on his lap. He quickly arose with a
good smile and said: "Ah, you're our
new neighbor, I believe. Mr. Roberts,
I think Mrs. Nodal called you. Sit
down, Mr. RobertB."
Khe detective explained that ho was
In the hido business; that he meant to
jtny In Laredo a month or two, and
thought of learning n little Spanish.
"Spanish or no Spanish, I'm glad to
know you,"' said Mr. Payton, taking
down a deennter and glasses. "I've
been here in Laredo six years now,
baking nnd vegetating by turns. I
know every greaser and gringo in
tho neighborhood, but I'm really lone
some for some new contnet with real
civilization. Even the tourist dallies
not In Laredo."
Mr. "Roberts" and the nssayer be
came good friends directly. Tho do
ur WASHERWOMAN.
tectlve soon learned that his new
friend wns quite a personago In town,
much liked, a public spirited citizen,
reputed wealthy and n bachelor.
One night as they were cliattlng
nnd smoking In tho moonlight by Pay
ton's window tho nssayer startled his
companion with:
"Clifford, I might as well tell you
that I know you're a Secret Service
man. I"
"How the mischief', gasped tha as
tonished detective.
"Simples thing In tho wcrld."
laughed Payton. "I got a letter from
Daly your predecessor here. Why,
hp had tho same room you've got, nnd
we were good friends. I'vo assayed n
lot of thoso bad coins for him. In his
letter ho mentioned you and said If I
ran across you to treat you right, nnd
so forth. Oh, Daly was a good fellow,
nnd I tell you It almost broke his henrt
to leave here without landbg those
counterfeiters."
Clifford wns over ills surprlso by this
time, but Payton rnn on:
"I always told him that that bad
money wns made in Mexico, but ho
could never trace any of it to the river.
Perlmps he wns right, after nil. Tho
local police have been working on tho
case for years, but they know less now
than ever, It seems."
And they tnlked nnd smokcd.Cllfford
at his case now, till there was a gentle
rap nt the door.
"Now, Clifford," whispered Payton,
lighting n lamp, "I'll show you my
washerwoman tho prettiest crcaturo
on tho border."
Tho rap was repented, and the ns
sayer said:
"Come, Bouorltn!"
The door swung softly open and a
young Mexican girl stepped In. She
was beautiful with tho shadowy beau
ty of the weird ami luminous nights of
her own land. Her face was au oval
brown, her eyes, long-lnshed nnd
smoldering ebony, her mouth red even
In the pule lamplight, her teeth whtto
and regular, her body slender nnd yet
supple.
"This Is Scnorltn Teresa," said Pay
ton, smiling nt tho girl.
"Buenos noches, scnor," sho mur
mured shyly, drawing her mantilla
to her chin and shrinking toward the
wall.
The nssayer went Into his bedroom
Iff
ft) J
STARED INTO TUB MUZZLE OF A BIX-
BIIOOTBlt.
and camo back with a pillow case full
of linen for the laundress. Teresa
took It with a demure courtesy and
vanished like n shade.
"She's n dream," smiled Clifford,
rising to go; "I'm jealous of you, nnd
your washerwoman." And the tired
detective snid goodnight and went to
his bed.
Pnyton wns awnkoncd about mid
night by a loud knock nt bis door.
"Who is It?" he growled, crawling
out to make a light.
"Clifford," said his friend. "I'vo got
to leave on the one o'clock train. I
thought I'd say goodby!"
Payton opened the door noil stared
Into tho muzzle of n six-shooter. In
his left hand the dctcctlvo held tho
pillow case.
"Well, Payton, you see I held up your
laundress," grinned the sleuth, drop
ping the bng, which clinked its sliver
couteuts on tho stone lloor. Two po
licemen enme In out of the dark hall
way, and the assnyer surrendered with
the grace of a dethroued king.
"I congratulate you, old fellow," said
he, smiling ndmlrlngly nt the detec
tive. "How on earth did you come to
suspect mo?"
"Why, I'vo been shadowing that
laundress' house for n month. Her
father Is a roulette fiend, nnd he nl
wnys pinys tho 'queer' dollars. That
bng of your linen to-ulght set mo to
thinking. It looked too heavy for Its
size. I slipped out the back way and
waylaid her. Now, show us your kit."
"With pleasure, Clifford," smiled tho
edified counterfeiter, lending them Into
his bedroom. "If you'll tnko off these
handcuffs I'll show you how to make
money the easiest. I wish It were as
easy to spend." John II. Rnftery, In
tho Chicago Record-Herald.
arentness In Perceiving Greatness.
It Is easy to see defects. It is not
60 easy to seo beauties. It took lees
of u man to discern tho mistakes in
grammar In tho ordinary speech of
such a man as Dwlght L. Moody, when
he began his evangelistic work In
Chicago, than it did to seo hla real
power as a speaker, that held atten
tion to him such henrcra as Lord
Cairns, aud Mr. Gladstone, and
George Bancroft, and the Emperor of
Brazil. Was It littleness or greatness
that caused ono to perceive tho defects
and not the power? Such n preacher
as Horace Bu3hnell wns quickest to
perceive signs of marked capacity In
a young preacher. A dull and stupid
preacher could havo recognized de
fects and lack in the young man quite
nH well ns Bushncll. Napoleon aud
General Grant were remarkable for
their power to perceive ability In men
under them. Yet commonplnco acn
could see defects In such men as quick
ly as tho great' commnuders. It re
quires greatness to pcrcelvo Blgns of
greatness. A little man can seo little
ness. Do we glvo that evidence of
greatness or littleness In passing cn
our fellowB? Sunday-School Times.
Spaniard' Favorite Instrument.
The favorite Instrument In Spain Is
the maudern, of tho guitar family. It
U usually provided with six rtUrs of
wire strings. - -
COLONIES IN NEW JERSEY
JEWISH REFUGEES ARE REDEEMING
THE WILD LANDS.
Hie fitMn U nt Present hont ITnirmider
ntMUovr Different flnttlf ments Hnve
Fared The Success of Woodbine,
Itoientinyn nnd Carmel.
Stnto Geologist Kummcll, who has
been consulting with Governor Voor
bees for some tlmo on tho matter of
redeeming New Jersey forest lands,
will send out In n short tlmo bulletins
on forestry, so thnt tho people will bo
brought to sec tho possibilities of tho
State's woodlands nnd make moro
than a half-million acres cleared nnd
prosperous laud.
Somo time ngo n movement, looking
In tho same direction, wns placed on
foot to havo tho State own tho forest
lands. New Jersey Is nt present nbout
half wilderness, tho wilds of the south,
em part of tho State making up this
great percentage. Tho possibilities of
this" uncultivated section wero recog
nized years ago by Russian aud Polish
Jews, who established colonics there.
There Is n circle In tho South Jersey
pine lnnd3, touching points In Cumber
land, Salem nnd Capo May counties
that aro experimental, nnd, In the
main, successful colonics. Such nro
Alliance, Roscnhnyn, Carmol nnd
Woodbine, Baron do Illrsch's well
known community.
Alliance, In Salem County, was nt
ono tlmo in the eyes of bcnovolcnt peo
ple of both America nnd Europe, nnd
its establishment was hailed ns a so
lution of nn International problem.
Tho persecuted Jews of Russia wero
llcelng by Bhlplonds nnd throwing
themselves upon the mcrclcB of other
nations, particularly England.. Eng
land, to relievo herself, sent them to
America. Tho problem of their dls
1 osal In this country became n philan
thropic question. This section had tho
ndvantngo of being close to tho mar
kets of New York and Phlladclph'n.
Land was very low, ncrcago enough
for n whole city being' purchasable
for tho prlco of n slnglo city lot. Soon
tho wilderness wns made to blossom.
VInclnnd was transformed from a
woodland hamlet Into n pretty city,
nttrnctlng buyers from nil parts of tho
country, with successful foreign colo
nies surrounding It. Hnmmontown
had evolved out of n dcuso woodland
Into n big" tract of small fruit farms.
Egg Hnrbor beenmo n prosperous Ger
man town. With these successful ex
periments In view, the nobrow Aid
Society was Induced by a VJncland
ngent, who nt that tlmo was an emi
grant commissioner, to purchase n
tract which became Alliance. It was
In a corner of Salem County, and tho
nearest trading point was Vlnelnnd.
Tho tract purchased was somo dis
tance from tho Now Jersey Southern
Railroad, nnd six miles from tho
West Jersey road. A road was cut
through tho woods, n largo squaro
opening made, and a coarse barracks
erected. Tho plot of 1000 acres, was
later split Into flfteen-ncro lots, and
smail cabins erected, nt a cost of $150,
to bo paid for In twenty yenrs, without
Interest.
In spite of these charitable plans
there soon camo signs of discontent.
Across tho country ten miles or so
there was nn older colony known ns
Estclle, In Atlantic County. Its Inhab
itants possessed some means.
Oroatlng farms In tho wilderness
did not appeal to tho Inhabitants of
Estclle, and many of them started out
ns peddlers. Soon Estclle became a
deserted village, and tho fato of the
older colony had n demoralizing ef
fect upon Alliance. The people of tho
latter settlement began to grow dissat
isfied and wearied the Hebrew Aid So
ciety beyond pntlcnco by Importunities
for money to start up in business, or
for working their little farms. Tho
Aid Society, to get rid of the annoy
ance, gavo tho colony over to tho Al
liance Land Trust.
Tho families that remained wero pa
tleut and industrious. They raised
fruit, somo of them realizing from
$300 to $500 n yenr. In winter they
made garmcntn for Now York con
cerns. Somo of them started the mak
ing of cigars nnd cigarettes. The cot
tages were enlarged, an English public
school wns started, nnd n synngoguo
organized. Many prospered to tho ex
tent of giving their children advanced
educations. In course of tlmo several
largo Industries located at Alliance.
Tho town gradually extended toward
tho railroad, and now stretches along
a slnglo street throe miles to Norma,
tho nearest railroad point.
Rosenhayn, another of tho Hebrew
settlements, was started nbout the
snmo tlmo as Alliance. It wns direct
ly on tho lino of the Now Jersey
Southern Railroad, midway between
Brldgeton and VInolnnd, Tho New
York Hebrew Emigrant Aid Society
placed six Jewish families at. Rosen
hayn, which now Is a well-organlzea
village of 000 people. Ono of tho feat
ures of the placo Is a co-operative fac
tory, whero each employo shares tho
prollts of the mouth. It nyponrs to bo
working well.
Carmel, like Alliance, missed tho
lino of the railroad. It had no associa
tion or corporation bncklng. It wns
utartcd In 18S2 by tho association of
100 families, which, having a little
capJ'al, wanted to get out of New
York's, crowded tenements. They se
lected a site between Dccrlleld and
Millvllle. The colonists nppealml to
Baron do Illrscli, who advanced $5000.
Carmel to-day Is n successful colony,
hut it Is seven miles from any other
place, and is three rulloo from tho
Brldgeton nnd Millvlllo traction line.
Tho town is small, tho synngoguo
being the only public building. There
aro several small Industries, but most
of the Inhabitants still till the soil.
Woodbine, tho best-known of all tho
colonies,' was founded ten years ngo,
and Is directly on the We3t Jersey and
Seashore Road, In the northern part
of Capo May County. It contains 200
Jewish nnd forty Gcntllo families.
Hero Is located tho Baron do Hlrsch
Agricultural School. Out of this In
stitution It Is possible that tho men
will como who will mnko tho South
Jersey wilderness teem with prosper
ous farms and settlements. This was
ono object of tho Bnron's beneficence,
another being to ralso up men to
prench and npply tho doctrines of
Zionism. Much money his been spent
on Woodbine, nnd It Is said that tho
expenditures on It each year exceed
tho receipts. But there Is no doubt of
tho success of small farming In South
Jersey. Land Is cheap, nnd tho Jewish
colonist Is patient nnd persevering.
Now Jersey depends upon him largely
to redeem tho waste wilderness of tho
State.-Now York Post.
A REMARKABLE TRIBUTE.
George P. Howell's Printer's Ink li
Climes Country Weeklies.
Tho weekly homo pnper, tho only
nows sheet probably published In tho
town or village far removed from n
largo city, Is the most closely read
and thoroughly respected publication
to bo found nnywhero. It carries
greater weight, has larger Inllucnco
with the conservative old fogies who
have been wrought up to nwnlt Its
weekly coming over since they can
remember. Its coming Is Indeed ono
of tho weekly ovents, nnd It goon
through tho hands of the household
In their regular order of precedence.
The reading of Its columns never be
comes perfunctory. Tho head of tho
household gets It first, of course, aud
retiring Into tho chimney corner of n
winter evening or somo cosy nook on
tho porch of n summer twilight, ho
commences nt the top of tho first col
umn, his forefinger pcrhnps mark
ing each paragraph, nnd reading
through It, takes up the next nnd tho
next, until ho has digested nil tho
nows nnd tho editorial opinions. But
he la not yet through, for the adver
tisements In their turn nlso command
his attention. A generation ago tho
country weekly was regarded with
nctual veneration throughout the land,
nnd Its Inllucnco was paramount
everywhere outside of cities. Nowa
days Us sphere has becomo much cir
cumscribed, but there arc still man;
sections whero Its Inllucnco is su
preme. In these tho weight of nn nil
vcrtlscmcnt In its columns is still
greater than any presented to a city
clientele through the paper that hap
pens at tho moment to be their favor
ite. Printer's Ink.
How a Doctor Charges.
Tho enormous fees charged nnd re
ceived (In many cases) by physlclaus
of no extraordinary skill have excited
tho entire medical profession. A lead
ing practitioner In this city recently
explained his method of charging to
somo inquisitive friends. "In tho first
plnce," he Bald, "I try to learn some
thing, nbout tho financial position of
my patient beforo rendering n state
ment, and I never send In a bill for
services under threo months. Fre
quently I wait six or twelve. But I
moke out my bills every week, Just aa
regularly ns I pay my servants, and
lny them nwny for futuro considera
tion. Suppose I havo decided that
Mr. Blank can afford to pay $500 for
an operation. I sot that buui down In
tho bill; then when tho bill Is rendered
I charge bIx per cent. Interest for tho
period that has elapsed. If It Is n year
the flnnl chnrgo la $530. Tho odd dol
lars make a bill look better, you kuow,
and, besides, I nm entitled, to Inter
est. Wo doctors nro obliged to eock
It to our rich patients pretty hnrd, be
cause we have so large n charity clien
tele which demands a lot of our tlmo
nnd tlmo Is money." Victor Smith, In
New York Press.
Vliltlnc Secretaries,
Men ns well as women seem to re
quire visiting secretaries. Tho busi
ness of visiting Bccrctnry aud stenog
rapher hns been udopted by qulto a
number of young men, nnd now one
of them has set up nn olllce aud has
a regular clientele.
Ills hours aro principally In tho
evening, and tho people who patronize
lit in aro business men who do not feel
that they aro yet nblo to afford a reg
ular secretary. They urrango their cor
respondence bo ns to dlctato In the
evening.
These visiting secretaries nro nlso
called upon at times to bo meutors
of social requirements. There aro
many people from tho West nnd other
sections of the Union who havo set
tled in New York, and who nro Ignor
ant of tho very latest thing for din
ucrs or entertnlnments, aud aomo of
them nre shy In employing women or
going to ono of tho bureaus of social
requirements. Tho number of men,
however, Is at present few, nnd thoso
aro really reaping tho harvest. New
York TlmcB.
ISggs Saved In n (jueor Way,
Mrs. Isabel Savory tells In her book,
"A Sportswoman In India," a story of
n lieu that was Hotting, but unluckily
for her hatching operations, was Inter
rupted by a cobra, which entered
through a chink In tho henhouse
Tho cobra made n lino meal of well,
warmed eggs, but when It essayed to
retlro by tho samo hole through which
It had entered, It found those eggs In
tho way. It was much too large to
get out, bo It stuck In tho hole, half In
the hen-houso nnd half outside. There
It wns discovered tho next morning In
a surfeited condition. It paid for Its
greediness with its life, nnd then It
paid back the eggs It had stolen; for
when tho bedy of tho Huako waa
opened tho eggs were nil found un
broken nnd warm. They wero re
placed under the hen, and In duo time
wero hatched, none the worse for their
peculiar Incubation.
FROST ON SHOP WINDOWS.
Double Windows the Most Kffcctlvs
Scheme Var Prevention.
The cold weather serves ns a warning
of winter, ono of whoso announce
ments Is tho formation of nn obscur
ing crust of ftost on shop windows. A
writer In Tho Iron Ago, probably en
gaged in tho hnrdwaro business, snyfc
thnt ho had n grcnt deal of trouolo of
that sort nt one time, but finally dis
covered how to nvcrt It. "At first," ho
says, "nn old experienced contractor
called nt tho store, who, after having
tho trouble explained to htm, answered,
Boro holes nt tho bottom of tho
window.' This was done, but It did
not remedy tho mntter. Another man
was sent for. Ho said, 'Air should bo
lot In nt tho top.' Holes wero mndo
ngaln, with no better results. At last,
deciding to try to discover tho trouble,
tho writer closed tho back of tho win
dow tightly, applying weather strips
to largo Joints, then loosened the out
sldo moulding holding the plato glass.
Tho result was n success a glass dust
proof and free from frost all winter.
"When n window has no back parti,
lion tho best tiling to do to prevent
having n frosty window Is to get an
other plato glass fixed closo to tho
first, say, with nbout nn Inch spaco be
tween. If this Is done properly tho
window will, never freeze even In tho
coldest of wenthcr. It has been tried
often, nnd hns been found to bo n suc
cess. Tho additional pinto glaRs is gen
erally rented from dealers In thnt lino
of goods for n few dollars, put In by
them In the fall and tnken away In tho
spring. Another effective nnd cheap
wny of preventing frost on a window
during winter Is to rub it with alco
hol or glyccrluo two or threo times n
week."
Tea That Comes High,
"There," said n dealer In ten ns ho
held up a small package, "Is n pound
of tea that sells nt $00. Is It worth
It? No, but that is tho price, and thcro
nro somo who nro willing to pay fcr
It. Ceylon tea is tho only kind that
comes to this market to bo sold nt this
high price. There nro other brands
that Bell nt $40, $25, $15, $-10, nnd
from thnt down to cents. Thero nro
some people who think thnt tho higher
tho price tho better tho quality of tho
goods, nnd they have to bo satisfied.
If you wero In business and a man In
sisted on paying a high prlco for nn
article, wouldn't you accommodate
him? If you wouldn't somebody clso
would, for such men must havo what
they wnnt.
"Tho highest price that can bo legiti
mately demanded for n pound of
ten Is $4. I mean thnt for this price
you can buy tho best that Is produci
ble. Anything above that Is a purely
fancy price. Tho first pickings of tho
tea plant aro, the choico leaves. They
are long and full of tho essence that
tea lovers demand and have a llavor
that Is not to bo obtained in later
pickings. Thcro is no difference In
tho curing process, so It is only be
cause the leaves aro themselves tho
very choicest that can bo got that tho
prlco Is high.
"For this kind of ten only tho very
freshest nnd most vlrllo plnnts nro
selected, nnd from tbem only tho
healthiest and sweetest leaves aro
tnken. Tho picking Is done beforo tho
leaves reach maturity and while they
nro still young and tender. Ab n con
scquenco the flavor is dcllcnto nnd
rich, and lacks that harshness that Is
objectionable to n connoisseur In tho
cup. While n novico might not bo
able to detect tho difference between
the four dollur aud threo dollar kind,
ho Ayould very easily notlco tho con
trast between tho carefully selected
young leaves and the cheaper quality,"
New York Tunes.
Human Cundlestleks,
Long ago, when our nncestors used
caudles for lighting, and beforo tho
candlestick had been Invented, tho
candle-holder wns a boy. At least
this was tho custom" In Scotland,
whero wo read that It wns tho duty
of tho "herd-laddlo" (wbo watched
the cattlo by day, to keep them from
straying) to Bit In the chimney corner
nt night holding a plcco of candle In
his hands and occasionally trimming
It, to uakq It burn moro brightly.
The candlcwaa a peculiar one, also,
ns well iib, tho candlestick. It was n
bit of wood cut from a kind of fir
tree which Is found Imbedded In cor
tnln Scotch Logs. Thla vnrlety of can
dlu la still used In aomo parts of Scot
laud, It is said.
The only relief the living candle
stick had from Ills work was when n
beggar craved a nlght'a lodging. Then,
lu return for hla bed and board, tho
beggar was expected to "hold tho can
dl'j" for tho evening. In Aberdeen
slilro, Scotland, n caudclstlck la even
yet sometimes called a "pulr-man,"
meaning a poor man, aud this la tho
reaaon for the odd term. Tho Presby
terian. The Origin of NtuuelieilKe,
A well-Iuformed correspondent writes
us Hint the committee of uiitlqunrliiua
which la superintending tho excava
tions at Stouclieuge, undertaken In
connection with tho bchemc for
strengthening tho foundations of tiio
trlllthoua, havo mndo discoveries thnt
placo tho period of origin beyond cavil.
A number of blunt Instrumcnta have
been found somo feet below the sur
face, aud thero hi no doubt that these
wero used lu the shaping of the stones,
and consequently that Stouohenge is
of the product of Neolithic man, Thcao
resultu nro alleged to upset both the
old notion as to tho elides having been
formed to commemornto some British
victory in Roman or past-Roman times,
and Professor Kllnders Petrlo's recent
conclusion (from tho supposed astro
nomical data) thnt Stonehcngo Is sev
eral centuries younger than tho Chris
tian era, ,
REVENGE OE L0VE11S.
RIDIOULOUS ESOAPADES OF SOME
REJECTED YOUNO MEN.
Foolish Frenks of Youths In Old V.ng?
Innd Ono Disappointed Suitor Went
to tho Kxpenso ot ''llurylng" Ills 1U
llnnnceo's Krfoctlon.
Whether tho Jlltod lovor feels that
lie has been made to look vory foolish
that It really docs not matter how
much moro foolish ho shows himself to
be, It Is Imposslblo to say; but' tho
fact remains that when ho nttcmptB
"to get his own back," to uso a vulgar
phrase, ho generally descends to n
degroo of ridiculousness dlfilcult to ex
ceed, Somo of his foolish freaks aro
recounted by Tlt-Blta. Ono salad
youth recently startled and nnnoyed
his orstwhtlo sweetheart and got hlm
Bolf Into troublo with tho law by
chnrtorlng n smalt, but murdorously
incllncd brass band to play tho "Dead
March" in "Saul" under tho lady'B
window. This Individual is not nlono
In tho glory of his ridiculousness; In
deed ho was only modcatly following
In tho footsteps ot another young
man who had been similarly rejected.
Tho latter young man took rovongo
upon his rojecter by giving hor "con
stancy" n Btately funornl, vory much to
tho amusement of tho good folkn re
siding In his town. Ho cnusod a death
notlco to bo Insorted In tho proper col
umns of all tho locnl newspapers an
nouncing that tho lovo nnd constancy
of tho young lndy had succumbed to
an attack of another young man on a
certain date. Then ho nctually went
to tho exponso of "burying" his ox
flancoo'B affections. At noon ono dny
a baud of Bomo eight or ton Instru
ments drew up In front of tho young
lady's house, nnd was promptly follow
ed by n closed hearso nnd n slnglo
roach. Alighting quickly from tha
coach tho young man of misapplied or
iginality ran quickly up tho steps ot
tho lady's houso, nnd Immediately re
turned, protending to bear somo heavy
object reverentially on tho palms of
hla hands. This Imaginary something
wns run Into tho hearso and tho funer
al cortcgo stnrtcd to wend Its way
nlowly through tho streets towards tho
comotory, led by tho band playing tho
"Dead March," and with tho nddtc
hcaded young man nB aolo mourner.
Ncodleas to Bay, tho procession caused
a good deal of sensation in tho town,
and by tho tlmo It had walkod round
tho boundary wall of tho comotory Ic
was tho chief topic of local chatter,
and ovoryono know what waB tho
meaning of It. A few days later thcro
was vory nearly a gonulno funeral, for
tho young lady's now lovor met tho
bid lovor In tho street, with a decided
ndvantngo In favor of tho former. A
hlack oyo nnd n badly swollen mouth,
lo bay nothing of a largo bump on tho
back of IiIb head, caused by contnet
with tho curb, must havo Impressed
iho young man that ho had gono to tho
txpnnso of n funeral for nothing.
A provincial tradesman may bo Bald
lo owo tho nourishing condition of hla
IniBlncsa to havo been Jilted by hla
tienrt'n choico, and taking rovongo in
n manner which mado him tho talk of
nls town, not a largo ono, by tho way.
After nn engagement lasting tho bettor
tinrt of two yearB tho young woman
jilted tier lover for n handsomer and
moro prosperous tradesman from a
neighboring town. Hardly wero tho
words of rojcctlon cold on hor lips
than he sot to tho work of taking sat
isfaction for thp affront. Ho shut up
his shop and announced hla death as
having taken placo on account of Miss
'b heartless conduct to him. Ha
had cards prlntod repeating tho sad
announcement, and theso ho sent
round to nil tho young woman's
friends and his customers, and ho ad
vertised In tho local paper that his
funeral would tako placo on a cortaln
ilato. On tho day appolntod, however,
lio placardod his shop with a highly-
:olorcd notlco to tho effect that ho had
learned thnt "tho cauBO of ah his trou
bles" had proved to bo unworthy to
31a for, und that ha had consequently
ieclded to llvo and "resumo his busi
ness on Monday next." By thla tlmo,
af course, the affair was known to tho
rholo town, and when tho shop opened
sn tho all-Important Monday thoro
Nan a crowd ot customers waiting.
Tho Family Homo Ittin.
Tho national gamn Is frequently pro
ductive of "homo runa,' 'and ono or
the most Interesting ot thla variety of.
tallies was mado by a Philadelphia
Imtsman lu Chicago. Ho hit tho ball
iquarely and drovo it over tho right
field fence. It entorod tho window in
the second story of a houso, rolled
down tho bnck stairs Into tho kitchen
ind lodged In a pan of dough under
tho stovo. Tha natural lnforenco la
that tho family partook tho noxt day
of ball-bearing brcud. Youth's Com
panion. ChunR" Wrought by Tlmn.
In 1855 It required on the nvorago
four hours and thirty-four minutes of
tho tlmo of a Inboror to do tho plow
ing, harrowing, cultivating, etc., that
went to tho producing" of n bushel or
Indian corn, and tho prlco af that labor
waa nearly 30 conts on tho nvorngo.
Today muchinca havo changed condl
tlona. Their uso baa reduced tho ncc
cBsury tlmo ot tho laborer to about
thirty-four minutes and tho cost ot It
to about 10 cents. Tho wagea nro,
Jiowovcr, much v bettor now thnn In
1855.
The Suit of tho Hen.
Thoro la salt enough In tho noa to
.'over 7,000,000 square miles of laud
with a layer ono mllo In thickness.