THE LUCKY
I have a friend, without whose face
(Ood keep his face from sorrow free I)
The world would be n dreary place
For weary me.
To please him is my chief delight:
1 d rather die than give him pain,
let this I've done in my despite,
And shall ngiun.
My friend is kind when I am cross,
lior ever cross when I nm kind;
lie rulca the sullen waves that toss
My toiling mind. '
I A CULPRIT
7T S Herbert French was leav-
Ing n street car, In which In
f? hnd ridden for nbont twenty
q minutes, it loud exclamation
enused blin to pause.
"HI, sir!" shouted the conductor,
you've left something behind."
French knew be hml loft nothing;
but ho wiiB not the man to lose tbo
thancc of obtaining anything for the
sake of n lie.
"Here you nrc. sir," and the con
ductcr thrust n parcel Into bis band.
French gave the conductor a dime,
and a few minutes later was nt tbo
house In which lie lodged, and ascend
4'd to bis room. Here be examined the
article which Fate or the car con
tiucior hml given mm. it was u
square, bulky package, enveloped In
brown paper and tied ncntly with a
piece of red tape. There wan no ad
dress on the cover, and, opening It, be
found a quantity of closely-written
manuscript, Inscribed In a linn and
clear Jinndwrltlng, and headed "The
Afazo of Life."
It was a story, he could sec at a
slanco; and no name or address was
upon If. He threw It on one side,
with a quiet laugh.
"Not much fear of that being adver
tised for," be said aloud. ".Some poor
beggar of an nuthor forgot it, I sup
pose, who hasn't got a dollar to bless
himself Willi like me."'
Herbert French was an Individual
who for years "had existed in the man
ner which is commonly called "living
on his wits." That Is to nay be could
turn his hand or his head to nearly
ivcrythlng, hut practically skillful rd
nothing.
Once upon a time ho held n good
position In ti large business house: In-1
his name became mixed up In some
underhand practices, .and ho had to go.
He bad drifted from one thing to an
other, as many a man docs, and now
ho was a canvasser for advertisements
for a so-called "society weekly," run
by a broken-down journalist. There
was a certain amount or money to bo
mnde at the work, and French spent
his scanty earnings like a prince. How
be managed to live was a puzzle to
many people and often a' puzzle to
himself.
Ills landlady, with whom ho settled
promptly, regarded him ns an estima
ble lodger, and was loud In her praises
of the "littery gent, on the third front."
Those of whom he occasionally bor
rowed money referred to lilni In quite
:i different fashion.
For a day or two, Fiench watched
the advertising columns of the now"
offered for the manuscript m hts 1)0S
.... - 1 .. n n.l
the little pile of foolscap lay In his
room almost forgotten for some weeks.
Then one night he. picked it up and
glanced curiously nt the first sheet. Ho
read It and turned to the second, and
as be did so his Interest was nrouscd.
It was seldom ho read anything except
the police reports, but "The Maze of
Life" laid hold of him at once. Pago
after page be eagerly devoured.
The fire In his room sank lower and
lower, and Ilnally sank out in n feeble
splutter. A neighboring clock chimed
the hour of two, but still he snt leaning
over the table, his eyes gleaming wlllf
eagerness ns he turned the sheets over.
Now and again he would pause and
wlps his forehead with his handker
chief. As. the faint streaks of dawn
shimmered coldly through the win
dow panes he came to the ctd. v
"Good Heavens!" be murmured is
lie sank back, exhausted. "What .i
story!"
He gathered the mnnuscript togeth-
r ngaln.
"Who wrote It, I wonder' It's a mas
terpiece a work of genius! The poor
devil who lost It what n blow!''
Then came the thought: "What to do
with It?" He knew the honorable
course open to him to advertise It.
Hut Herbent French always preferred
to take the o-poslto course to the lion
ornblo one.
Next day an Idea struck him. It
seniyd him nt ilrst In Its insolence, ami
bo put It on one side as Impossible and
too risky. Thinking It over later, It
lost Its tearfulness. It was risky, cer
tainly; but he had grown callous to
taking risks, especially where money
was the Inducement. And It might, he
thought, be possible for him to carry It
through unscathed.
"Why not have 'The Maze of Life'
published as his own work? That It
would be accepted by a publisher of
repute on Its own merits lie felt sure,
a work that throbbed -1th genius, that
gripped the reader from the llrst chap
ter and held him spellbound to the cud,
could not go begging. And tbo chances
of the real nuthor coming forward?
What then? lie preferred not to dwell
on that.
l'es, he would risk It, and If he was
discovered ho would brazen It out to
tho end.
IIo took the manuscript to a typo
writing establishment, and a few days
Inter It was returned with a neatly,
typed copy. He burned the original,
and felt much safer when this was
douo. Then he despatched the type
BARGAIN.
Hi
is gracious spirit gives me joy;
What can I give him for his gr
grace?
A little, useless, hattcrcd toy
nme nnu space.
A 1)01 nf llMVir. tvlll lirntra.. ...!..
...... .-.unt... 1.111,1,
Uf shapeless hopes and wasted hours
ui nan a hundred worn-out thinas
iinu inucti howcis
Wherein one blossom lives and makes
ix ' ,, wnercat His lips will part
And smile for kindness, ns he takes
The proffered heart.
X. 8., in the Spectator.
CORNERED.
written story to one of tho foremost
publishers In tho city.
The weeks that followed wore torlur
ous ones to Herbert French. At times
ho regretted having taken the step he
nau none, ami wisiiod ho had never
seen "The Maze of Life." He would
laugh nt his fears, and picture himself
the author of tho dny. A mouth slipped
iy ami a polite note reached him from
the publishers to the elicct that their
render had reported favorably on his
woric ami they would lie happy to no
gotlate for Its publication.
'inreo months, later the literary
worm was in a slate of excitement. On
every hnnd people were talking of the
new book which had been launched
upon the sea of literature with such
signal success. The critics had. with
few exceptions, spoken of "Tho Maze
of Life," by Halifax Flanders, as a
won: of genius. Edition afler edition
had been Issued, and still the book-
sellers clamored constantly for more.
ino noolc was discussed by all classes,
ny me mechanic as well ns by the
professional man, learned men and
women, and one and nil Joined In vol
uminous praise of the man who had
written It.
Hut who wns Halifax Flanders? No
one seemed to know. Paragraphs were
appearing In the papers dally setting
lorin in one quarter that the author
was a lady of the best society, and In
another Hint "Halifax Flanders" wns
the noiu do plumo of n man of letters
nlready famous under his own name-.
Thq publishers would give no informa
tion beyond stating that the author
desired his Identity to remain un-
known.
And whnt of French? He had In-
tended to change the title, but some
fatal inllucnce compelled him to retain
the original name. "Halifax Fland-
ers' lie regarded as a cleverly con
ceived nom do plume a name that
would attract by reason of Its uncom
mon sound.
But if ho had been unsettled before
the book nppenred, ills agony was ten
fold worse now. As the sale of the
book Increased, by leaps and bounds,
his fears of exposuro rose accordingly.
uon't under any consideration di
vulge my real name," ho bad said to
the publishers; but dnlly ho expected
the author to como forward and hold
him up as a thief and a fraud.
One evening he wns sitting In his
room when his landlady tapped nf the
door.
He started up guiltily.
"What Is It?" he shouted, a nervous
npprehension seizing him.
The landlady entered, closely fol
lowed by n young woman in walking
costiimiv
"If you phv1?' Hir'" ,,lui'lC(1 tho
former, "this y"' womnn called to
sco you, and nllhoV 1 tom hcr y
wasn't going to sooS?.'.,1lot," (jho
would follow me up tho sfii.?t saying
It wns verv Imnni-tnnr inioiiinJX" and
she surveyed tho visitor with an eyoV?J
Herbert French rose from his chuh
"It's all right, Mrs. Coomber," ho
snld; "you mny go."
"Won't you bo seated?" he asked tho
young woman, when they were alone.
"Thnnk you," wns tho auswer, In a
pretty feminine voice, "I've como from
the Bulletin to Interview you, If you
will allow me."
The man turned pnle.
"How did you obtain my address?"
be asked, with a quiver In his tone.
"I will tell you later on," responded
t)..) interviewer. "You are Mr. Hall
fax., Flanders, aren't you?"
"I am," came tho strained reply.
"But that Is not your renl nnuie is
It, now?" queried tho young woman.
"Isn't It Herbert French?"
"Herbert French! How do vou
know?"
"I got It from tho same source
whence 1 obtained your nddress. I got
It from Miss .Ternlng's typewriting
agency, In Nassau street, aw. I sen
you recollect." The answer win given
In U taunting manner Hint stung
French to tho quick.
"What Is it you want?" ho raved.
"Who are you? What do you want of
mu "
'Tray calm yourself, my dear sir,"
Interrupted the other. "If you wlil
resume your seat, I will tell you what
I want with you. Come now, sit down."
Like a child ho obeyed. There was
something In tho keen eye of bis visl
tor that forced obedience.
"Now, Mr. French, I will tell you
who I am. .My namo Is Nellie Senile
a name which I suppose you don't
know. It Is I, and not you, who wrote
'The .Maze of Life,' now so ruinous.
Don't Interrupt," as French began
speaking; "listen io me ilrst. I wroto
that story wroto when 1 was nearly
starving. Not n friend had I In the
whole world not one. Night nfte"
night, after I bad tolled uselessly
through tho streets looking for work,
I have sal In my room writing for
dear life, every word I wrote being
llko u drop of my own llfo's blood ooz
ing nwny. Then at Inst I llnlshod it;
I was almost destitute then. You
know the rest of my story. Dou't lie,
mnn! Whnt's the use? Somehow 1
left my mnnuscript In the street enr,
when I wns taking It to tho publishers
one of those things one docs through
trying too much to bo extremely care
ful. You found It liar, you must have
done so and you kept It. I applied
to the otllce of the c,ar compnny. I
searched the newspapers, expecting
to discover that some honest man had
found and advertised It; but It never
came back to me. Grndunlly I gave
up hope, nnd thou I saw the book for
sale, with 'Halifax Flanders' on It ns
the nuthor. I knew then bow I hnd
been cruelly robbed. I hnd obtained n
situation on the Bulletin In the mean
time "
"But bow did you discover mo?"
Jerked out the cringing mnn.
"Yes, you mny well nsk. Yesterday I
ran across n friend whom I had lost
sight of years ago. She hnd set up n
typewriting agencyyes, Miss .Tern Inc.
you know her and from her I gnth
ered who it wns that had robbed me.
It wns you you cur you thief whom
I hnve come to Uitcrvlew for my pnper.
To-morrow that Interview will appear.
All your knnvery 'vlll be exposed to
the world. You nearly killed me bv
stealing iho child ofvtn,v brnln, tbo
child I've wept over nnd nearly starved
over, and now I'll hnve my revenge."
She censed, and the mnn looked tip
Into her fnce.
"How do you think you enn provo
that you wrote tho story?" ho gasped
But the woman turned to the door,
nnd wns gone.
Next dny the Bulletin enmo out with
nn Interview with the grent "Halifax
Flnnders" set In double-leaded type,
nnd nn exposure of his Infamy. Peo
pie smiled Increduously when they
rend It, nnd wondered how such n wild
statement could have squeezed Itself
Into the columns of so reputable ft
Journal.
A few hours later the evening pnpers
contained the news of the sulcldo of
the nuthor of "The Maze of Life." n
man nnmed French, who had hidden
his Identity under the peculiar peon
donym of "Halifax Flanders." New
York Weekly.
l'tttlirr Tlmu'i Own Clock.
"The transmitting clock nt the Na
vnl Observatory, Washington, Is tho
absolute monarch of American time
keepers," writes Evander Mclver
Sweet In the Ladles' Home Journal.
"Every day in the yenr except Sunday,
by one pendulum stroKe it speaks di
rectly and instantaneously to every
city and considerable town between
the penks of the Bockles and the pines
ol Maine, snylng to them that on the
seveuty-llfth meridian It Is now high
noon to the fraction of n second. A
duplicate mechanism, stutloned nt the
Branch Nnvui Observatory on Mnre
Islaud, performs u similar service for
tho people of the Pacille slope. And
by tills one clocit nt tho national capi
tal (together with Its duplicate on the
l'acIHc), Is sot nearly every tlmenieco
in tho United Stutes nnd Cubn. most
of those in Mexico nnd ninny on tho
norner or Canada. A number of
clocks from threo to aooo-in nearly
every city and largo town are wired
together Into a local family, and, by
means of a switch key at the teloErnnh
otlice, are put Into direct contact with
the parent clock at the national capi
tal. So that the instant the electric
touch is given from Washington overv
clock in tiie circuit whether It be nt
Boston, Minneapolis or New Orleans-
begins n new dny in perfect accord
With its mechanical deity."
Onuses ot 1'ormor Kuropu.tn Huprcumcy
V thousand years ago, when Con
stantinople was the capital or the
world, the eastern trade reached Scan-
dluavlii by this route, Kiev being the
outpost of tho Greek economic system.
and Nogorod tho northern emporium,
sayiurool;s Adams in the Atlantic.
Wlthln'SVic northern comihereinl tlior
oughfaro liVy tho cradle and hot-bed of
western clvllUxaUou; beyond lay deso
late wastes, ImiHjtrablo allko to the
trader and the nd.yiu These wastes
cut Europe off from tho Paclllc coast,
a region singularly favoreuV both in
soli and minerals. Kurope. on thu
contrary, has never been reinnrknWu.
either for the fecundity or its soil or
the wcnllh of its mines. It reached
high fortune rather because, before
railroads its physical formation lent
Itself In a supremo degree to cheap
transportation.
A tongue of laud deeply Indented by
tho sea .nnd penetrated throughout by
navigable rivers, It could market what
It had when tho treasures of Asia and
America lay inaccessible. This ad
vantage KuropeVA'eTalncd until within
about twenty years, and tho new in
dustrial revolution has been nt once
tho cause nnd tho effect of its loss.
OlmtM-tutlniix,
A real homo is less picturesque tbnn
nn Ideal one, but u deal more comfort
able. Many will ask for your candid opin
ion, but nono will thank you for It.
Fgotlsm and cowardice have the
saino mother.
No world-wlso woman over usruircd
n man that she was "always the
same."
Unless the Sphinx has broken si
lence the riddle of woman Is yet un
solved. Man's llrst thoughts need revision;
not so woman's, which are intuitions.
Woman lias put more spokes in the
wheel of destiny than man.
Tako n good look at a girl's mother
before you commit yourself, is very
respectfully submitted to wooers.
Philadelphia Iteeord.
t'liimo r Ilin Dfllili iuy.
A homo for Indigent lawyers lias
been established la Madldou, Wis.
This would seem to Indicate that not
enough rich men In Wisconsin are
leaving defective wills. Boston Commercial.
"Oh, snlt jour hcnrtl" Is, of course,
bound to bo slang. Who would ex
pect to cscnpo it?
It's all off wllh tho horso when New
Jersey people use nn automobile to
chase a horse thief.
Tiie United States has now become
possessed one-fifth of the entire gold
nnd silver money of tho world.
The additional bad thins they nre
finding out about mosquitoes will nt
lenst tend to Increase the snle of net
ting In the summer.
Sir Thoinns Ltpton, coming gnyly
nftor "that bit of family plate." as hi
describes the America's Cup.wlll find
it on Uncle Sum's shelf mnrked "per
sonal." Perhaps It is n Hlgn of the sudden
growth of the TJnltcd States as a
world power that tho European pnpers
nre disposed to regnrd the utterances
of our statesmen so seriously.
Professor CInrk, of tho University
of Chlcngo, snys too mnny prenchers
back dignity. Unless the prenchers re
sent tills nnd cause further talk tho
professor will probnbly bo dlsap
pointed.
After Victoria but ode actually nil
lng Queen rcinnltis WlllieluiliuV
Holland. Of seventy-four rulers on
tho earth twenty-two nro Presidents,
fifteen nre Kings and six are Kinper
ors. This Is ono of tho things which
will not "be the same In 100 years,'
comments the New York World.
In the now Australian Federation
the Senators are mado elective direct
ly by the people for n term of six
years. The Federation bns copied
pretty closely American forms of gov
eminent, and In tills particular has
probably improved upon our plan of
selection, thinks tho Philadelphia ltec-
ord.
M. Camlllo Flnmmarlon, tho French
astronomer, does not plnco the slight
est crodonco In the Idea that tho in
habitants of Mars are trying to signal
to our earth. He considers that the
lights observed in tho Icnrlum Mare
were, In his opluion, simply the retlec
tlon of the rnys of the setting sun on
tiie clouds over that sea.
The navy of Spain now consists of
ono bnttleshlp, two coast defense ves
sels, four cruisers of tho first class,
five of tho second class and four of the
third class, with an auxiliary tlect of
sixty guuboats and twenty-seven tor
pedo bonis. Uight ships arcs under
construction two second class and
one third class cruisers, ono gunboat
ami four torpedo boats of thu highest
typo.
A well-known cattlu dealer who re
cently wrote a review of tho cnttlo
market In 1000 expressed the opinion
that, before many years, nearly all tho
beef cattle ot the country would come
from the corn belt States. He said
that over-eroppliig was rupidly de
stroying tho grasses on thu great
plains, and that their importance as a
sourco of beef was constantly dimin
ishing.
When men so diverse as Mr. Chain-
berlnln and Lord ltosebcry, and llnan-
clal nnd commercial organs of opinion
of all shades, publicly warn English
men that their trade has passed its
perihelion, and that rivals aru moro
aud more outstripping them In thu
racefpr Industrial supremacy, it Is not
strango"i!nt nervousness and even pes
simism nuii'iV the attitude of England
confronting thu lUMvcentury.
The Victorian era lias wiiuiu.'sseu 'to
first Installation aud tho stupendous
extension of railways; thu inaugura
tion aud the gigantic development of
transoceanic navigation; the annihila
tion of distance by the Invention of
Uf.' electric telegraph and tho multi
plication one hundredfold of the pro
ductive power of mankind by the de
vices of labor-saving machinery. It
has seen the downfall of autocratic
government aud thu establishment of
more or less perfect representative
patllamentnry systems in every coun
try of Europe but one.
It hns been only In recent years that
the medical profession has fully recog
nized the Importance of dietary In thu
treatment of thu sick. Of course, In a
general way tho physician hns always
kept a supervision of the food ot tho
patient, usually by prohibiting most
articles, but now the preparation of
nourishment has become a matter of
direct medical concern. In Berlin Fran
lleyl lias started a cooking school for
doctors, ami moro than 100 prominent
physlcluus from France, llusda, Italy
hud Germany have taken tho course,
Brunch schools will bo established in
every capital of Europo. . .
Poor Dickie.
Poor little Dickie-bird, dead In the snow;
Sweet feathered songster, oh! could you
but know
How wc shall miss you, nnd long to repay
The beautiful sons that you sang us each
day!
When first
cold,
Robin, how
boldt
tho weather began to grow
pretty you were, nnd how
Hopping about on the hard frozen ground,
Pecking thn crumbs that wo scattered
around.
When the snow fell, nnd wc thought it
such fun,
Shout ins with glee, through the white
fields to run,
Poor little Dick! you were hungry anJ
sad
Never a morsel of breakfast you had.
All I we forcot, in tho midst of our play,
To scatter the crumbs that you looked for
each day.
Now, thouch our tears fall to think of
your pain.
Never, poor Dickie, you'll waken ngaln!
We'll dig you n grave bencatlt the soft
snow,
And over it little white snowdrops shall
Brow; t t
Summer and winter we'll tend it with
rare,
And always remember the friend who lies
there.
And for your dear sake, mv poor little pet,
Never ngaln will we ever forget
.Plenty of crumbs from our windows to
throw
To itcl the poor bird outside in the
L. L." Wccdon" lil r-wcll's Little Folks.
Your llnx of Pnlul. - .
When you received n box of water
color paints as n holiday gift, did you
stop to think that the whole world
had been searched to furnish you with
those little cakes of color? Vandyke
brown Is nn earth from Cassel, In Ger
many. From the neighborhood of SI
eunn, In Italy, comes n transparent
yellow-ochre which Is called raw sien
na, and when It has been subjected
to bent It takes the unme of burnt
slcunn. Itaw umber Is nn earth from
Umbrla, In Italy. The madder plant
Is now cultivated on a great scale In
France. Holland and Turkey for the
sake of the colors- rose madder, brown
uindder, carmine madder and others
obtained from It. Other pigments ol
vegetable origin arc gamboge, from
the gum of a tree that grows In Cey
lon, nnd Indian lake, from the realn of
another kind of n tree native to Bengal
and Slam. Sepia is obtained from tbo
cuttlefish, carmine is derived from
the cochineal Insect. PruRstnn blue is
obtained from horses' hoofs, nnd Ivory
blnck Is made by burning ivory chips.
Tho 'Tutor Unity.
There was once u little girl named
Butb who hnd a great many dolls. One
day her father brought her a new one,
thu funniest or them all.
It. was a big potato that had a bead,
n neck, nnd u body. In tbo bead were
two eyes, and n little bump between
for n nose.
Wasn't Bulb delighted? She began
right nwny to dress her "Mater baby."
First she stuck In sticks for urms, then
she put on u blue check dress, nnd
tied on n blue knit cape and n blue
bonnet.
She found a shoe box, mid brother
Ned helped her make u carriage out
of It. He tied a string to It, and put
spools underneath. Then the new
dolly went to ride.
Every night Until put her baby Into
the closet in her bedroom.
Sometimes she put it out on tho pi
azza roof to get an ailing aud tied the
string to a blind so that the carriage
could not slip down.
Once she forgot and left her bnby
out on the roof all night. When morn
lug came she went to the window and
looked out, but there was no carriage,
nnd no dolly.
Then she rnn down stairs and out of
doors as quickly us she could. There
on the ground lay the poor baby, but
its head was broken quite off.
Until caught It up, and ran In crying.
Shu did not stop crying until Ned stuck
the bead on with a stick, aud tied It
with a string to bold It on tight. Then
uiu 'inter nuny" louued almost as
good ns new.
But one day a still worse thing hap-
ueued. Kuth was taken sick, and the
new dolly was put into the closet nnd
left theru u lonir. lontr time. When
Until got better, sbo tlioiiKht of her
baby, and when to get It. '
Her mother heard a loud scream aud
hurried upstairs to see what was tbo
matter. There stood Until, sobbing as
If her heart would break.
What has happened, my child?"
said her mother.
"Ob, oil!" sobbed Until. "Ned has
spoiled my baby,"
"Where Is It? And what has he
done?"
"In the closet. He's stuck sticks all
over It, mid It is spoiled."
Her mot her went to the closet, took
up the dolly, and at the funny sight
that met hcr eyes, Mio could not help
laughing.
Until looked at her In wonder, and
stopped crying.
"Why, Uuthle, Ned has not touched
our dolly! It has sprouted!" said her
mother.
And sure enough, It had. There wnu
u long sprout un thu cud of Us nose,
nnd two coming out of the eyes. They
were slicking out. of tho holes In the
bonnet 11111.'. the capo, and hanging
down below the dress.
ltutli did not like It at all. She de
clared that she did not waul a dolly
that would do like that; so one day
"the 'later baby" was taken out-of-doors,
and put Into the ground, where
It grew, and In lime liecame u big
green potato pltinl. The Favorite.
A HUNDRED YEARS ACO.
Men couldn't steam across the sea,
A hundred years a-o.
And money wasn't nil thsy thought
Worth having here Wow;
They had nn elevators then
To hoist them through the air,
And yet they thought, the poor old guy.
That they were wonderful and wise,
And that the world was fair.
Men couldn't talk by telephone,
A hundred years ago;
They sowed nnd reaped and thrashed b
hand,
And when the slream were low
They had to ston the mills nnd wail
For God's good riln to fall,
And yet thry proudly went about
With heads held high nnd chests pushed
nut,
And thought lliey knew it all.
Their battleships were made of wood,
A hundred years nta,
And oh, the weak old ways they had
For lavina neonlc low I
They had no liilihting trains on which
io Hit athwart the scene.
And vet thrtc noor. benighted men
Sunnood that thine were nerfect then-
Alas! but they were green!
Men had to load each time they shot,
A hundred vrnr no.
Ad thn. n'as! they hnd no ias
To licht thine here below I
ThTP were no trolley cars to dodge,
No liorsclea tluntrs to lame.
And vit, poor fools, thry thought that
thev
lfd all their Mmlnw, in their day,
1 lift t man might ever claim I
Hut. Miev had pessimists around
A hundred vrars ngo,
Who mourned because their sons could
lie er
OMsin a nroner show!
A"t thev predicted di'" thiues--Thev
thoimht the end vt near:
Tliev fancied that the devil then
WnrV-rd overtime in urging men
J o start red havoe hero.
S. K. Kiser, in Chicago Times-Herald.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"What Is vour fortune, mv pretty maid!"
.11.. f . . j 1 i t ,
i-,lv inruine, lJ" ""v ini-c.
"O. weJWqn'yfG nshamcn,.,tA'Lftltl'
"For poverty is no dlsraee' , .
Philadelphia Press.
"Boohon! Johnnie .Tones hns moved
nwny!" "Were you so fond of your
little playmate?" "Naw! but. bnohoo!
He wnR dc only kid nn do block I could
llck."-Brook!yn Life.
First Neighbor "I bono my daugh
ter's playing doesn't annoy you?"
Second I)ltto-"Oh, no, not nt nil! "Wo
got our landlord to reduce our rent on
nccount of It." Auswers.
Miss Styles "Do. you know. I think
this clonk must look awful." Miss
Ames-"The Ideal" Miss Styles-"At
any rate, It Is Just as comfortable as It
can be." Boston Transcript.
She "What Is there nbout me poor
little me to attract a man of thu
world like you?" lie "You nro the
only girl that never asked mo If you
were the only girl I ever loved."
Mother "Now, denr, why don't you
run away and give grandpa 11 kiss?"
Child (somewhat nonplussed by grand
pa's moustache nnd beard) "I dou't
sco any place for It, mam mnl' Punch.
She naid she meant to speak hcr mind,
And wouldn't take much timo to do it;
The other said, with sneer unkind,
It wouldn't tako long if she knew it. j
Chicago Jtccord.
Ilodd "Ilnug it all! Do you sup
pose I'll over make a good golf play
er?" Todd (pltylnglyJ-"Nover, old
mnn. You think too much of your
family nnd your liuslness." Harper'H
Bazar.
The trolley car stops; an Irish lady
and ten children climb In. Conductor
"Are those your children, madam, or
Is It a picnic " Thu Lady "They aro
my children, nnd It's no picnic." The
Schoolmaster.
Fond Parent "Goodness, child, you
are soaked." Frankle "Please, pa, I
fell Into the canal." Fond Parent
"What, with your now trousers on?"
Frankle "I didn't have time, pa, to
tako 'cm off." Tit-Bits.
"My dear sisters," exclaimed tho
club womnn, "we should nil stand to
gether." An hour later, on her way
home In a crowded car, she becainu In
dignant because no man offered her a
seat. Philadelphia Uecord.
Tess "Jack proposed last night, aud
1 accepted him." Jess "Did you,
dear? By the way, don't attempt to
cut glass with that diamond, as I did,
or you'll innko another nick In tho
stone." Philadelphia Press.
Do you attach any credence to tho
theory that men are developed from
monueys," said Willie Wishlugtou. "1
think that some nre," said Mlss'Cuy
enne. "The others appear to have re
innHcd stationary. 'Washington Star.
Wnlkril 'I n cut v-ll vn Miles In Hleci.
Sound asleep, Kenneth Hughes, 11
student of the Lake Forest Academy,
'"" "ay from bis room nt tho
academy to nn, colIuU.y
Loon Lake, 111., twenty-iivo ,!,. ,ii4,
taut. """"k-"',,t?
The sleep-walker only knowH that ho '
went to bed as usual in Lake Forest,
ami was awakened the next morning
lu bis father's burn. The duration of
his somnolent state was from shortly
after H o'clock In thu evening until (!
o'clock In tho morning. It was at the
latter hour that the boy's father, who
Is u farmer, went to his barn to feed
bis stock and found tho young man
propped up In the family buggy still
sound asleep.
The soreness of his muscles seemed
to coiillrm the supposition that ho had
walked from Waukegau to tho farm.
Philadelphia Uecord.
Tnmimiilu 'ipcr DcporllH.
The Mount Lyell copper deposits lu
Tasmania lie In the centre of what, ac
cording to recent advices, promises to
bo ono of "the greatest mining and
metallurgical centres in the world."
'Transportation has been one of tho
most dlllleult problems, hut now that
this has been happily solved and mod
ern methods of treating tho nro and
matter hnve been adopted, tho rich-
ness of the deposits Insures for them u
great future.