JR Broad lint
sp, T WAS an early summer evening,
7 1 too warm to walk, and Just com-
fortable for talking. So Capt. 1)111
tnd his brother Jack sat content
U edly on the shaded bench In the
captain's garden, overlooking ten
miles of sen, from Shcppey cliffs to
Bouthend, They smoked two pipes apiece
over tho situation In China, and two more
over tho decay of the mercantile marine.
During the fifth pipe after tea, the an
cient femalo who "did" for the captain
shuffled by with a grunt, and tolled
slowly across tho Ileitis to her home In
the village of Minster. Tho captain fol
lowed her retreating figure with a shake
of his head.
"Oils more contrary every day, she do,"
ho remarked, feelingly. "Wub an' wu3l"
"Wot you want," said Brother Jack, "Is
a wife."
Tho captain relit his pipe, and looked
thoughtfully at a trail of smoke; strug
gling between sky and sea.
"Lady of Lorno flvo minutes late," he
observed, casually.
"I s'pose, now," Inquired Jack persist
ently, "you've some one In your eye?"
"I won't say,' admitted Hill, "but I
might avo."
"Keeps a baccy shop?"
"You don't mean to say as pcoplo as
been tnlkln'7"
"Talkln'I" repeated tho brother. "Wen
you given me a couple- o' pound o' baccy,
orl In hair-ounce bltsl Wot's tho need
a' talkln'?"
The captain sighed as ono confronted
with on Insoluble problem.
"You goes In," continued Jack, wagging
tho stem of his long clay pipe In admoni
tion, "In tho mornln' an' 'ns 'alf an
ounce." The captain nodded. "An In
the afternoon nn' 'tin another." The
captain growled assent. "An' In the
evenln' an' 'as one more."
' "Sometimes two," he said solemnly.
"That 'ere big chest wot came off the
Saucy Jano Is 'most full already. You'll
'nve to set up a shop yourself soon If you
don't stop It." ,
, The captain refilled his plpo slowly.
'"Ow am I goln' to stop It? Thnt's the
pint." Jack smiled tho superior smllo of
twice married wisdom.
' liars!: 'cr wen she'll 'avo the chest
moved up to the shop?"
"S'poso she won't?"
"Then she won't. There's others."
"S'pose," asked the captain as ono who
puts an abstract argument, "us I was
set on 'er?"
"Moro reason to settle It."
"Ay; but not nil nt onst," raid tho cap
tain, artfully. "I've bin leadln' up to It."
'"Ow long?"
"A matter o' two year." Jack laughed
rcornfully.
"Some men," ho stated, "would 'ave
married a dozen gnls In two year."
"Ay," said the captain, enviously, "des
say they would. P'rhnps 1 might give 'cr
b 'Int, If I knowed 'ow."
"Wy don't you send 'cr somcthlnk out
of the gardln? A few flowers "
" 'Ain't got none; only wegetnbles."
"Well," said Jack, 'vegetables Is
nourlshln'."
"'Ay, with a bit o' pork. If I 'ad a pig
now "
"But you nln't."
"No." He sighed. "That's where It Is."
They smoked another couple of pipes In
silence.
"Well, mate," said Jack, "I must bo
goln. So long."
"So long, Jock."
Bill watched his brother till he had gone
over tho hill. Then he walked Indoors
with an air of resolution. "Marrers an'
peas," he muttered, "It shall be."
Then he brushed himself carefully, nnd
set out with a Jaunty air to the village,
where the widow Riley kept a smart shop
In which tobacco, swectstuffs and penny
novelettes predominated. After a few re
marks upon tho weather, ho Invested In
his usual half-ounce, and repaired to the
Waterloo for his usual wholo pint. Then
ho returned for another half-ounce.
"Just for the mornln'," he explained.
"Lor, captain, you don't lovo nothlnk
llko Vur smoke!" said the widow, archly.
She was a nice-looking, round-faced
widow, and she had a very pleasant
smile.
"Don't you think that, Mrs. Blley,"
sold tho captain, with sudden boldness.
"If I was to tell you wot I liked best
you'd never bcllevo me."
"Oh, go on, captain," said the widow
with a laugh. But the captain's courago
fled and took him with It.
"Might 'most think," ho muttered with
awesomo delight, "as sho knowed wot
was In my mind to say!"
Next morning, when tho ancient Mrs.
Grummldgo had gono down to tho coast
guards' houses for a gossip, tho captain
cut a couplo of vegetnblo marrows and
picked a few pecks of peas. Ho added
a gallon of potatoes and packed them
carefully in n big basket. Then ho hnlled
daft Tommy, who was busy frightening
the crows from Farmer Jackson's field.
"HI, Tom, my man!" ho called. "Llko
to earn a pint?"
"Yus," told Tom, grinning.
"Then take this 'ero to Mrs. Ttlley at
tho shop, with my compliments, d'you
see?" Tom looked doubtful.
"Who'll scare tho birds?" he asked.
"Oh er I will," said tho captain.
"Look sharp."
"Yus." Tom gazed lovingly at the veg
etables. 'Wot bo they worth7" ho In
quired, touching the marrows.
"A matter o' nlnepence," said tho cap
tain, boldly.
"And t'others?"
"The peas be better'n they're sellln' at
sixpence in tho town," stated tho cap
tain, proudly, "an' taters, too."
"Lor' I" said crniy Tom; and off he ran,
leaving tho captain waving his red hand
kerchief wildly at tho marauding crows.
Tom was a long lime gono nnd the cap
tain found the senrecrowing rather warm
work. Ho had an uncomfortablo feeling
that tho occaslonnl pnsscrsby were
laughing at him, and Mr3. Grummldgo
told him frankly that he was "hnctlng
like a born hljotl" He had muttered sev
eral nautical prayers to himself before
Tom returneO with nn empty basket.
"You nln't let none on 'em settle?" he
asked anxiously. Tom was an artist in
his profession.
"No, nol What did she say7"
"Too dear," said Tom, briefly. "An so
they all said; but"-
"What!" roared tho captain.
"Too dear. Did the best Ol could for
'ee. Two an' thruppence the lot; an'
spent my tuppence; an' 'er's tho rest."
Tho captain grabbed tho handful of cop
pers and rushed Into his dwelling like a
whirlwind.
"Cap'n be cratler than Oil" ttA-ld Tom
with ft chuckle. "An' If 'e knowed 01
got two-an'-slx, nnd kept tho rest! Ho,
ho, hoi"
That afternoon tho captain bought four
half-ounces before ho completed his ex
planation to the widow. She was so good
tempered, about It that ho felt he must
do something. Moreover, her hand
touched his for nearly two seconds when
he took the first halt-ounce.
"Tho question," he reasoned with him
self, "is wot docs a woman cxpeck a man
to ..ay. If Jack 'adn't como back to
Lunnon, I'd 'avo nrst Mm." Then ho had
an Inspiration. Why not ask Mrs. drum
tnldge? Mrs. Grummldgo was very tall, very
angular, very plain, very deaf. "Hut,"
argued the captain, "she must 'avo 'nd
experience In 'er time, and' I've 'card as
fashions In these things doesn't niter
much." So he strolled out Into the kitch
en for a box of matches, when the widow
Orummldgc wns washing up" tho tea
things. Tho captain had been half an
hour lato for tea, so tho good lady was
not In the best of humors. On such oc
casions her Infirmity of hearing was apt
to Increase.
"Hi!" he shouted In her ear, "Mrs.
Grummldge!"
"I halnt deaf," she replied, Irritably.
"Of course you hnln't," ho agreed, with
a view of propitiation. "You hain't 'art
sharp, neither!"
"Ivor', cap'nl" she suld with n smirk.
"I'd Ike your opinion on somcthlnk on
goln courtln'."
"Caught wot?"
"No, no; courtln'."
"Caught Mm? Who?"
"Courtln' a gnl," he roared.
"Wen you was at sen?"
"Not a gale; a gal a woman." She
dropped a plate with a crash.
"Moro fool you!" sho said, severely.
"'Ow ought I to tell 'er?" ho Inquired,
Ignoring tho protest.
"Tell 'er wot?"
"I want to marry"
"12h?" tho cried, with sudden Interest
"I want to marry," ho shouted.
"Marry!" cried Mrs. Grummldgo, with
n gasp. "Oh, enp'n! I never thought of
such a thing! But ns It's you as hnrsks
me!" She flung herself upon tho cap
tain's manly brenst, with ono bony arm
tight round his collar. Sho still held tho
wet dishcloth In her hand, and In her ex
citement she squeezed It so hnrd that n
perfect torrent ran down tho back of his
neck.
The rest of the scene was too painful to
dwell upon. Within twenty minutes Mrs.
Grummldge was richer by a couplo of
sovereigns nnd the captain was poorer by
a housekeeper.
"I'd wrlto an' harsk Jack," ruminated
the good man, mournfully, "but I wasn't
never no 'and nt wrltln'." Then he had
another bright Idea. "Tho very thing!"
he told himself, and off ho rushed to the
widow's.
"Good evening, Mrs. Blley," he said.
"Good evening, captain." Sho com
menced to get out tho half-ounce.
"I 1 didn't como for 'baccy," ho said.
"The fact Is, Mrs. Hlley, I camo for er
advice." Sho laughed even more pleas
antly than usual.
"Fancy you comln' to me," she said,
archly. "I s'poso It's about tobacco?'
"No o," ho confessed, "er not exnckly.
It er well, tho fact Is, it's nbotft court
in'."
"Courtln'l Lor', captain! As If I knew
anything about It!"
"It's like this 'ere," ho explained. "A
friend of mine" He coughed deprecnt
lngly. "A pertlkler friend o' mine wants
to go courtln' a ludy."
"Then," said tho widow, "why doesn't
ho?"
" 'E don't know exackly 'ow to glvo 'er
a "int."
A youthful customer appeared nt this
Juncturo and was served with an ounce
of acid drops. Then the widow returned
to the tobacco end of the counter.
"Are you sure sho doesn't know?" sho
Inquired.
' 'E-cr 'asn't told 'cr." The captain
mopped his brow with tho red handker
chief which had put tho crowB to flight.
"Sho might guess." sho suggested.
"Docs 'o go an' see her often?"
" 'Bout four times a day,' he confessed.
"Wy doesn't 'e nrsk 'er right out?"
" 'E don't know egzakly 'ow to do It,"
said tho captuln In a muflled voice.
"Tlierc's lots of ways," said tho widow,
leaning her elbows on tho counter and
resting her chin upon her humls. "Can't
you think of n way, captain?" There was
a provoking gleam In her black eyes.
"Wot," ho nsked doubtfully, "wud bo
the usual thins?"
"Lor', captain, I 'aven't been through It
a 'undrcd times." She snrugged her
plump shoulders.
" 'K thinks a horful deal of 'er," he said,
solemnly. " K might tell her that,
mightn't 'e?"
"Yes," she agreed. "Certainly 'e might."
Mr. Brown, tho sexton, camo In and
twaddled about the crops and the parson's
now pony. After waiting live minutes tho
captain bowed nnd took his departure.
"I'll never 'avo the 'art to say It," ho
muttered to himself. "I'll 'ave to glvo It
up."
All next day ho kopt away from the vil
lage and tmoked from his store. "I'll
never go there no more," ho vowed. "It
nln't no manner of use." But In the
afternoon he went.
"Wy, captain!" said Mrs. Itlley, "I
wondered wotever 'ad 'appened to you."
"Did you, now?" ho said with delight,
"did you?"
"I was wantln' to nsk you for some
think, too."
"Marrers?" ho replied, promptly, "or
peaB? Or"
"No, no!" She laughed. "Advice."
"Ay!" His knees trembled, and he
looked round for tho shop chair.
"It's gone to bo mended," sho told him,
with a suppressed smile, "Won't you
come Inside, captain? "
"You're wcrry kind, ma'am," he said,
nervously, Sho lifted tho counter flap,
and he followed her into tho cosy little
parlor. Ho felt, ho told Brother Jack
afterward, as If he was riding on a leo
in a gnle, with a weak bow anchor,
"Anybody could be wcrry comfernble
'ere," he remarked, when ho had sat for a
minute or two en the sofa, -
"It they got on with me," suggested the
widow.
"Nobody couldn't 'elp that," stated the
captain, with conviction. "I don't believe
you wasn't never out of temper In your
life."
"Nonsense, cnptaln!" Sho sat down on
the other end of the sofa. "I'm out of
temper now."
"Ah!" said her admirer, uneasily.
"It's about a friend of mine, an' a ger-tleman."
'"E ought to bo ashamed o Msself,"
said tho captain, ferociously. "Wot's 'e
bin nn' done?"
'"E don't do nothlnk." snid Mrs. Blley,
"only 'nngs about. That's w'cro It Is,"
Tho captain dropped his cap suddenly nnd
picked It up again.
"Asn't 'c given 'er no Mnts7" ho de
manded, "It depends on what you call Mnts.'
"Sent her marrers, say, an' suchlike?"
"Yo-cs," sho admitted. "I believe 'e
o."
"Como to sco 'cr reg'lnr?"
"Sov'ral times a day, but still" She
shook her head over unnamed deficien
cies. "Maybe," sold the captain, tremulously.
" 'e'd llko to make Msself a bit clearer, If
'o knowed 'or mind."
" 'Ow,' said she, Innocently, "la 'o to
know It 'e won't nrsk 'er7"
"Couldn't she give Mm a Mnt7"
"Not," tho widow sold, cnlmy, "unless
sho was qulto certnln that 'o wanted
ono."
"Sho might reckon on that," assented
tho captain, with uninlstnknblo emotion.
Mrs.Itlley studied tho floorcloth Intently.
Then her gaze wandered up tho opposite
wall until It rested upon ft bright colored
cnlcndar, with rt plcturo at tho top, pro
fessing to represent tho balcony sccno
from "Homeo nnd Juliet." As Ilomeo
had only tho tip of ono too upon tho lad
der, there were obvious reasons why ho
should put his arms round the almanac
Juliet's neck,
"That Is a-vcry pretty picture," said
tho widow, with a becoming blush. The
captain dropped his cap again and edged
along tho sofa.
"Mrs. Wley," ho said, "If you was on a
balcony, tin' I was on a ladder"
"No, you wouldn't!" Tho captain edged
qulto close.
"Mrs. Itlley," ho whispered, "If you'll
go an' look out o' tho top window I'll
tako the liberty o' borrcrln' your steps!"
-Tho King.
IJURIED ALIVE.
Fate of n Spaniard Who Kitte-re-el (he
Filipino I.lllFN.
John It. Howard of St. l'aul has rccnlvcd
from Ilia son, Licet. 11. 1". Howard, Blxlli
cnvnlry, who In on Ocn. Young's staff In the
Philippine!!, n copy of the Mnnlla rreeJdm of
May U, which contains nn account of tho
burial nllvu of a Spaniard who went Into tho
line of tho Insurgents whero Ids brothcr-ln-law
wa In command, to try to Inllucncc the
latter to submit to American occupation. Free
dom says;
"The expedition under Col. Hardin, consist
ing of MaJ. Case's battalion of tho Twenty
ninth Infantry, that left Manila on tho sotli
of Inst April, effected a landing near tho town
of Noac. Inland of Marlnduiiue. five days Inter.
The news was brought to Mnnlla by n Spanish
licmp Meamer that arrived In port yesterday,
with several Kponlsh prisoners on board.
"One of these prisoners, In an Interview with
n representative of the Mnnlla Freedom, stated
that the dlscmbaikatton of Hardin's, command
was carried out at tho cost of the life of Kcnnr
Jerez HurKO. the well known editor of the
Hpanlsh newspuper El Filipino Libre, who ac
companied the expedition as a sort of peace
maker "It Is reported that when tho transport cat
anchor llurgos went ashore In a ship's bout.
Ho landed and proceeded up the beach. Ho
was met by o deputation of olllccrs from the
command of Col, Martin Ijirdliabal, llurgos'
brother-in-law. When Umllsnbnl was In
formed of the cnraclty In which llurgos made
hl appearance on tho soli of Marlndutpje l.e
Issued an order that his relation bo taken pris
oner at the first oppoitunlty. In his rune.
Lardltabal U reported to have said: "I will
show him what It means to come .hero to his
native land as a friend with our enemies.
"llurgos Is reported to have entered the In
surgent lines In a fearless mnnnsr, und exhib
ited llttlo concern when he was placed under
nrrert. He was taken before Lardlziuial and n
Hormy Interview followed. llrother-ln-law
chitted brother-in-law until both forgot the re
lationship, and then sach healed Insults on the
head of tho other.
"In his rage Latdlzntal cried to his guards,
Take tho traitor out and bury him alive.'
IlurgoB turned pale nt the ghastly command
nnd backed towaid the door. The soldiers
headed him off and despite his protestations,
Initially pushed, initially carried him out Into
the plaza, where tin horrible older wob carried
tntn l-tfeet
"Lardlsabal, appreciating full well that Col.,
llardln would avenge ins uenin oi nis envoy,
gave orders for tho evncvatlon of the town.
With all possible dispatch the Insurrectos with
drew toward tho mountains, while tho native
residents, shocked nt tho horrible death of
llurgos, nnd fearing that the vengeance of the
Amsrlcans would fall on their heads, packed
up their valuables utid left their homes. Tho
Americans Innded to find n deserted town, with
the exception nf one old leper, to tell the
frightful stoiy of the death cf Uurgos.
"After this version the reporter Htarted out
to verify the report. He found the story In cir
culation about the Ayuntamlentu nnd the pro
vost marshal's building nnd tho details were
practically the same. The fctory had also
reached the ears of the friends of Ilutgos nnd
his family who are, as well may be Imagined,
very anxious to know the truth. This will not
be ascertained to a certainty until the arrival
of word from Col. Hardin, that may be ex
pected at nny day now,
"It will be remembered that the day before
the departure of Benor llurgos for Mnrlmluqua
he stated tn n Manila Fresdom reporter: 'I.ar
ellzabal is a Rood and a brave man. I believe
I ran Inllucncc him tn submit to American oc
cupation If I can convince him of the hopeless
ness of waging war against tho Americans. Ho
has a hot temper, though. I hope that 1 may
not arouse It.' "
l'liint it Tree.
Stephen fllrnrd, the founder of that noble In
stitution In Philadelphia to which so many
once poor boys, but now thrifty, successful
men, are Indebted, made use of these words:
thnt If he, knew he were going to die to-morrow,
he would continue nt his work, ami ho
would plant a tree, "not to-morrow, though,
but to-day."
In putting It this way he comnllmented tho
riuullty of usefulness to our last moments, of
prompt, punctual dealing, and he ntso picked
out a very good kind of activity; he would
plant a tree.
l'lant a tree! That does not necessarily
mean a tree, but It may Include a shrub, a
flower-plant, anything that will grow and for
which there Is a need In tho garden, field,
somewhere.
Will young people think about the porslblo
good resulting? Look around the home, look
along the road, and then look about your
church, and see how desirable would be a
piece of green, thrifty growth, Add Mowers,
costing so little, and pearls and rubles will
result. It may be a fruit tree set down In
the almost empty garden, What delicious
pears, plums, apples, will hang from those
limbs! It It be a shade tree, what an umbrella
It will be In the hot summer, giving comfort
lo the weary, hot walker, and starting a psalm
of praise In his heart. If It be an e.vcrtrreen
tree, what a pretty picture It will make all
through the year, and especially In the barren
winter vrhen It carries a robe of ermine that
the last snowstorm sifted down on the green
branches.
If one Itoy, one girl, and still better, a cluster
of young people In a church society, will tako
this hint about tree or shrub planting Into
careful consideration, how different eventually
will be the grounds at homo oi about tho
church!
Things with roots do grow. They grow whllo
you ore sleeping, while you are off on a vaca
tion, while you are doing anything rather than
watching tho trees. Just glvo the llttlo root
lets a chance tn bore llko gimlets Into the
earth, and the feathery tips to shoot up and
wave In the wind, and you will have good-ilzed
roots grow nnd creditable banners above, An
old man tnld me about some big maples In
front of his windows, In a newspaper, he
brought them, when young and tiny, from a
neighboring town and set them out. Then he
gave me a ride about his town and showed me
a fine growth of pines that the winds love to
coax all sorts of tunes out of, He himself
planted the seed of those pine trees, Little
need once lying In the earth; now, trees like
plumes ilslng out of It. Things planted do
grow.
Now plant something this very spring, about
your home, down In the garden, out In the
street, and wake up among the young people
an Interest tn beautifying the church grounds,
the home yard, the public street. Edward A.
Hand In Independent Forojter,
What twubka
liEUK are Indications that Mr.
Broadway will be Involved In
lawsuit, and nil on account of
tho cat. Mr. Broadway likes
cats. Mrs. Broadway docs not.
Mr. Broadway has long been
nwara of his wife's nntlpnthy to the
fellno race, and for thnt reason he lies
Itatcd to assent to the proposition that all
the men In tho olllco should draw cuts to
sco which should glvo a home to tho
ofllco cat which was about to becomo a
vagrant through tho prohibitive cat law
recently enforced In n ccrlnln downtown
building. Mr. Broadway wns. much at
tached to this particular cat, which the
elevator boy had euphoniously christened
Miranda, but a dearth of convincing rea
sons for Introducing her Into his house
hold mndo him dubious about accepting
her . n protege.
"It wo had any mice," ho began, doubt
fully.
"Oh, rnts," put In one of tho men, impa
tiently, nnd Mr. Brondwnv, being mndo
to feel by this Inelegant ejnculntlon that
ho was losing caste among his olllce asso
ciates through undue subjection to tho
prejudices of a wotnnn, quickly assumed
a bold front, nnd said, recklessly. "Oh,
well, I'm In for It. Let 'er go."
Of course Mr. Broadway got the cat.
J lo carried her home himself that very
night In a bandbox which the Janitor had
been saving for Just such nn cmcrgcnly.
Mrs. Broadway looked up curiously when
Mr. Broadway camo marching Into the
bnck pnrlor with tho cylindrical paste
board drum tucked up under his left nrm.
"What have you there, Jasper?" she
asked sharply,
(Mr. Broadway answered by setting tho
bandbox on tho floor and cautiously lift
ing tho lid. Miranda's nerves had been
worked up tn a high pitch by the Jarring
and Jolting thnt marked her dark and
Inglorious progress from Nassau street,
and the Instant the door of her prison
wns opened she sprang front her ernmped
qunrters and began to cavort unre
strainedly nbout tho room. Mrs. Broad
way was visibly alarmed at these an
tics and eicxtrously tucked her feet up
under her body nnd slipped farther back
In tho depths of her capacious chair.
"A eat!" sho cried In nf right. "A
cat, Mr. Broadway, n cat!"
Mr. Broadway was watching Miranda's
cap'crs with considerable trepidation. For
a moment ho wished the physical charac
teristics of her race were not so palpable
In Miranda's build, and thnt ho could
palm her off as some other species of tho
nntmnl kingdom standing higher In Mrs.
Broadway's estimation. This subterfuge
being clearly Impracticable, ho sntd:
"Yes, Kate, a cat."
"And what on earth did you bring a
cat hero for?" demanded Mrs. Brondway.
Mr. Broadway picked up tho bandbox,
and with thnt for a suit of armor ho
Rqunrcd himself bravely before his wife,
"I brought that cat here," he said, "bo
cause wo need her. I've had tho llfo tor
mented out of mo by mice for the last
two months, nnd I'm getting tired of It.
I'm not going to stand It any longer.
I'm going to catch tho Infernal little
pests. That'H what I brought Miranda
homo for."
Having delivered himself of theso
ferocious sentiments, Mr. Broadway
backed off a step. Mrs. Broadway
touched tho tips of her toes to tho door
and cast suspicious glances In Miranda's
multitudinous directions.
"Mice?" Bho echoed, nfter a llttlo.
"Mice, did you say7 Why, thero Isn't o
mouso In this flat. There Isn't one In
tho wholo building."
Mr. Broadway perked up his oozing
courago again. "Oh, como now, Kate,'
ho raid. "You needn't tell mo nny such
stuff ns thnt. Just becuuso you don't want
to keep tho cat, for I know better. Don't
1 hear 'em, night nfter night, racing
through tho partition ns If the golf
links, tho baseball grounds and tho lawn
tenuis llelds of all mousedom were lo
cated In our wnlls7 You may not hear
'cm because you sleep ro sound, but I do,
Why, their racket's something awful. 1
didn't sleep moro than six winks last
night, the llttlo beasts took on so. But
you'll soon fix that, won't you Miranda?
Como here, old girl. Just look, Kute,
Isn't sho a beauty?"
Miranda, having by this time relieved
herself of her surplus energy, now can
tered gracefully ncross tho floor and
wiped her noso affectionately on Mr.
Broadway's trousers. 1'caco and amity
having been restored by this grnclous
act, Miranda was conducted to her now
quarters In tho storo room for her even
lng meal.
Polly, Mrs. Broadway's maid, arises
every morning nt (1 o clock. At (li'-'O on
morning succeeding Miranda's ndoptlon
into the Broadway family, a screnm In
dlcatlvo of tho pent-up emotions of mnny
months, whs heard to Issue from tho
Brondway kitchen. This scream penc
trated to tho fnrthest corner of tho flat,
nnd .In an Instant Mr. and Mrs. Broud
way had bounded out Into tho hall and
were making a beo-llno for the sccno of
tho commotion. When they renched tho
kitchen door they buw I'olly dunclng
around on top of tho unllghted gas ruugv,
whllo about ten feet from her, nt tho
foot of tho sink, lay a medium-sized
mouse, Mrs. Broadway cast ono flight
cnud glanco at her recumbent foo and
then vaulted lightly up besldo Polly on
tho stove. But Mr. Broadway, being a
man, stepped boldly over to tho sink.
"Shnw," ho said, holding out tho mouse
nt arm's length. "Tho poor little thing's
dead ns a door nail. Miranda killed him
hours ago. Didn't I tell you we'd soon
see the effects of her presenco In tho
house? Oh, I tell you, Miranda's a great
mouscr, aren't you, Miranda?"
And Miranda arched her tall at this
compliment and sniffed at her prey In
calm disdain.
Mrs. Broadway mado but few com
ments then on Mtdunda's prowess, but nt
10 o'clock thut morning when sho and
tho woman across tho hall bumped their
heads together when removing lco from
the dumbwaiter, she wild: "Isn't It ter
rible? how mnny mice thero arc In this
building now?"
Tho neighbor let her chunk of lco fall
bnck with a littlu thud, "Good gracious,"
sho said. "I didn't know ubout It. I
haven't seen any."
"Well, you will see them," returned
Mrs. Uro.adwny, reassuringly. "They nro
as thick as hops in our (Int. They even
keep us awako nights. We had to get a
cat to clean them out. She's caught one
alrciwy."
Tho neighbor dlsapp'earcd Into her own
rooms then, Ten minutes later tho Janl
tor received an Imperative summons to
the third floor, "Frank," said Mrs
Hroadway'B neighbor, sternly, "why don't
you do something to get rid of tho mtco?
Tho plnco Is fairly overrun with them.
They're eating up everything nbout the
house. All tho tenants ara having to bring
cats In to catch them."
The Janitor opened his pnlc blue eyes
to tho widest extent anil tumbled his yel
low hair excitedly. "Ay tank you make
mcestak," he said, tn positive tones. "Ay
not lak tn, mans mnsclf, an' Ay watch out
for him. Ay never see him."-
"But they nro here," persisted tho
neighbor, "and I want you to take every
thing out of our storeroom tn the base
ment this morning and sco If they have
done much damage."
By noontime tho news of Mlrandn's
achievement hnd passed through the en
tire building, and Inter In tho day when
two women came to Investigate the merits
and prices of vacant flats they obtained
tv very discreditable report of that house
from u tenant whom they chanced lo
know, nnd they sought n home elsewhere
out of tho renclt of tormenting vermin,
During the next two weeks Miranda con
tinued to catch her nightly mouse, nnd
her popularity as n faithful guardian In
creased. Thut of tho house waned In
direct ratio. As a result of this plnguo
of mice three prospective tenants fulled
to sign lenses and two rcup.tnts moved
out. ' Whllo this exodus wns nt Its height
Mrs. Brondway received n caller one
morning shortly nfter Mr. Broadway hnd
gone to his olllce. Tho visitor was a boy
with kinky hnlr and u sooty face.
"Say," said tho urchin, "you tell Mr,
Broadway that I've found n new den of
mice, an' It ho wants mo to keep on sup-
plyln' Mm with one reg'lnr ever' night, I'll
let Mm hnvo 'cm nt n reduced price."
Mrs. Broadway thanked the boy for this
conceslon and dismissed him curtly. In
tho evening sho repented the communica
tion to Mr. Broadway. "Of course, Jas
per," sho concluded, loftily, "you may
avail yourself of tho discount, If you wish,
but now that I hnvc found you out, 1
think you had better not. Our landlord
Is a hot-tempered mnn. You have al
ready cost him ?::tK) a month, nnd If ho
finds out about this trick of yours In con
nection with Mlrnndn, lic'll be npt to
mnko thing pretty lively for you."
Mr. Broadway stroked Miranda's fur
softly. "I expect ho will," hu suld. "But
Miranda's reputation Is established now,
so 1 guess I'll let tho discount slide."
New York Sun.
Juiix nuit.xs or nisTTYsuimu.
Have you heard tho story that gossips tell
Of Hum, -of Gettysburg? No? Ah, well;
nrier is mo glory that hero earns,
llrlefer the story of ioor John Hums;
He was the fellow who won renown
Tho only man who didn't bnck down
hen tho rebels rode through his native town;
nut held his own In tho fight next day.
When all his tnwnfolk ran away.
That was in July, sixty-three
Tho very day that General Lee,
Mower or southern chivalry,
iiaiuen nnu neaien, backward reeled
From a stubborn Mcado and a baricn field.
I might tell how, but the day before.
John llurns stood at his cottage door,
Looking down the village street,
Where, In tho shade of his peaceful vino,
Ho heard the low nt his gathered kino,
ind felt their breath with Incense sweet;
Or, I might say, when tho sunset burned
The old farm gal le, he thought It turned
The milk that fell like u babbling flood
Into tho mllk-iiall, red as blood;
Or, how l.e fancied the hum of bees
Wero bullets turning among the tiees.
Hut all such fal rlfut thoughts an these
Were strungo to n practical man like Hums,
Who minded only his own ceinrerns,
Troubled no more by fancies fine
Than one of his calm-eyed, long-tnlled kino
(Julto otd-fushloned and matter-of-fact,
Hlow to argue, but iUlck to act.
That was the leason, ns some Mk say,
Ho fought so well un that terrible day.
And It was terrible. On the right
Itaged for hours the heady fight.
Thundered the battery's double bass
Dllllcult music for men to fare:
While on tho left where now tho graves
Undulate llko the llvlna waves
That ull the day unceasing swept
Up to the Pits tho rebels kept
Hound-shct plowed tho upland glades,
Sown with bullets reaped with blades;
Shattered fences here nnd there,
Tasrcd their splinters In the air;
The very trees were stripped nnd bare,
The barns that once held yellow grain
Wero heaped with harvests of the sluln;
The cattle bellowed on tho Plain,
The tut keys scicumed with might itnd main,
And brooding barn-rowl Kit their rest,
Wltn strange shells bursting In each next.
Just where the tide of battle turns,
Erect nnd lonely, stood old John llurns.
How do you think tho man was dressed?
Ho woio an ancient, long, buff est,
Yellow as snffron but Tils best;
And buttoned over his manly breast
Was a bright blue coat with a lolling collar,
And lame irllt buttons site of n dollar
With, talis that tho country-folk called "ewnl
Icr." Ho wore a broad-brimmed, bell-crowned hat,
White ns the locks on which It sat.
Never had such n sight been reen
For forty years em tho village green,
Hlnco old John llurns was n country beau,
And went to the "qulltings" long ago.
Close nt his elbows nil that day
Veterans of tho Peninsula,
Htinburnt and bearded, charged away;
And striplings, downy of Up and chin--
Clerks thnt the Home Huaid mustered in
(limited ns he pawed, at the hat he wore,
Then at the rine his right hnnd bore;
And hnlteil him, from out their youthful loie,
With nrriitiH of slnnnv repertoire:
"How nro you, White Hat?" 'Tut her
tin ought"
"Your bend's level!" and "Iltllly for you!"
Called him "Diirdy." nnd begged he'd dlscloie
The nnme cf the tailor who mane ins clonus,
And what was the value he ret on those;
While Hums, unmindful of Jeer nnd scoff,
Htood thero picking the rebels off
With his long brown rifle nnd bell-crown lint,
And the swallow-tails they were laughing at.
'Tivan but a moment, for that respect
Which clothes all courage their voices checked;
And something the wildest cemld understand
Hpake In the old man's strong right hand,
And his corded thioat, and lurking frown
Of his eyebrows under his old bell-criwn;
Until, ns they Razed, there crept nn awe
Through tho ranks In whispers, and some men
saw.
In the antique vestments nnd long white hair,
The past of the nation In battle there;
And some of the soldiers since declare
Thnt the gleam of his old white hut afar,
Like the' crested plume of the brave Navarre,
That day was their orlflamb of war,
Thus raged tho battle, You know the rest;
Buw the rebels, beaten and backward piewsed
limke at the nnai charge anu ran,
At which John llurns a practical man
Shouldered his rifle, unbent his brows,
And then went back to his bees and cows.
That Is the story of old John llurns;
This Is the moral the reader learns;
In fighting the battle, the question's whether
You'll show u hat that's white, or a feather.
Ilrct Hart.
RITVct eif Clliiuite- em I'lnueia.
Tbi first pianos known In America were
Imported from London In 1784 by John Jacob
As tor, but as they could not stand the rigors
of this climate they soon became ruined. Tho
fact led to tne attempt to build pianos In
this country, and in tno cany part of tin
present century uprights made their appear
a nee.
Olelrst eif VeKitiilleN,
Onions and cucumbers nre two of tho very
oiuesi Known vegeiauies. i.iho pens, wie j;gyp.
tlans crew them at least thirty centuries aim.
Indeed, to the onion belongs probably the
honor of being tho first vegetable primeval
man ever made trial of. Onions are not
found growing will anywhere, but a kind o
leek Is not uncommon In Southern Siberia
which is very llko the Welsh national em
blem.
I'cniisylvnnlu'H Nutloiuil Iliwik.
Tim n ri t 1 u a rila Vina tnttvai tinllnnnl .
within her bordtra than any othfr Mate, Tho
numter li 430, New York hai 827.
AN AUTHORITY ON CHINA.
Ito-ir Cent mil Ge-iicrnt Onodnow Wan
111 Itrptitatlon.
"I hone thnt I'nclo Sam has some calla
ble m"ti In China now, looking after
American Interests," said the drummer
as he glanced over some lato dispatches
from 1'cklng.
"There's one nt any rate." remarked an
old railroad man. "Ills name is John
Ooodnow, and ho halls from Minneapolis.
uoounow is consul general to Shanghai,
and the story of his appointment to tho
position Is one of those good things that)
sometimes fall to get Into the newspapers.
At tho time that Ooodnow was named for
tho place his friends and enemies nllkej
were astounded by statements wired from
Washington to tho effect that Ooodnow
was a profound student of China nnd thai
Chinese, the possessor of a vast fund of
knowledge concerning the origin nnd de
velopment or foreign trnde in China, ami
generally speaking the best Informed man
on Oriental affairs, past, present and
pending, whoso name hnd been mentioned
In connection with the consul general
ship.
"in Minneapolis, whero Mr. Ooodnow
was best known, he had never been sus
pected of more than casual Interest lit
Oriental matters. Thnt ho might rectlvo
tho appointment wns conceded on all
sides, for Ooodnow was tho original Mc-
Kiniey mnn In Minnesota, and ha did
much to roll un In that state a big ma
jority for the statesman from Canton, nnd
so he wns entitled to recognition nt the
hands of the administration. Senator
Washburn went so far as to eleclaro that
Ooodnow didn't even know tho boundaries
of the country, let alone anything of Its
Interior economy. However, tho present
consul general Is declared by the admin
istration to be a most competent official,
wnich merely Illustrates the fact that
good ofllclal timber Is often found in un
expected plnces.
"About tho tlmo of Mciciniey election
Qoodnow's business affairs were In a bail
way. He hod thought of a mission to Qcr-
mnny, nnd had about mndc up his mind to
apply for an appointment that would tako
him there. In this ltnte of mind ho called
ono day on Samuel Hill, son-in-law ot
James J. Hill, tho president ot tho Great,
Northern, Hnllroiul company. To Hill
Ooodnow unburdened himself. Ho ex
plained his financial collapse, voiced his
ambition with regard to a German ap
pointment, and nskrd Mr. Hill's advice.
Bum Hill promptly urged his visitor to
drop tho aermnn project llko a hot brick
and tn turn his attention to China.
'Chlnn,' said Mr. Hill. 'Is to bo tho
scene of a great commercial advanco with
in tho next ten years, it will bo the bat
tle ground of tho world's commercial en
ergies. In (lermnny you would bo burled
alive;. In China you may, If you are lucky
and nltrt, achieve fame, honor and
wealth.'
1 'But, my denr fellow," expos! ulated
Mr. Ooodnow, 'I know next to luthlng
nbout China or tho Chinese.' ,
" 'Very well,' said Hill, Imperturbablv.
'who does, for thnt matter? Why, thero
are mighty few people In tho world out
side who do know anything of the Chi
nese thnt is anything worth printing. All
renlly vnlunblo works dealing with tho
China of to-day you could carry home In
your cont-taii pocket.
" 'Well,' remnrked Ooodnow, 'fitness for
tho position would cut soma Ice, I'm
afraid I couldn't land It,'
" 'Now, .look here.' went on Mr. Hill.
'you're In luck. There Is ono mnn In tho
United States who knows moro nbout
China thnn was ever written In bookB.
Ho Is a deep student of thnt country.
Thero Isn't n map the Iltisslans havo
mndo of which he hasn't a copy, nnd
those portions of Chlnn that tho Iltis
slans haven't mapped out aro not worth
mapping. The commercial ftituro of Chi
na Is, practically speaking, an open book
to this man. Ho Is In need or such knowl
edge to bo forehanded In tho gamo of
trado that Is now being played. I refor
to James J. Hill, my father-in-law.'
' "vcs.' sold cioodnov; 'lint s so. If I
know what Jim Hill knows about China
I could bo appointed minister to tho Impe
rial court, but'
"'Hold tin,' Interrupted Mr. Hill; "this
evening Jnmcs J. Hill starts for New
York, en routo for Isurnpe, I travel as
far as New York with him. You get a
ticket over tho Milwaukee und the New
York Central, and present yourself to me
on tho train. I'll tnlio you tn tho old gen
tleman, and lend tho conversation up to
China. Before midnight you'll know more
about China than nnybody else, exempt
the president uf tho Great Northern rail
road,' " 'flood,' snid tho coal man, "I'll do It.'
"That evening on tho Hill car John
Ooodnow listened whllo tho elder Hill
tnlkcd of China. Hill treated tho subject
exhaustively, as he always docs treat ft
subject, beginning nt tho beginning nnd
going through to tho end. Tho disquisi
tion wns from nn Amcrlcnn point of vlow,
cssoutlnlly commcrclnl, which was pre
cisely tho point of view Ooodnow wanted.
Mr. Hill wns so impressed with tho car.
nestness ot tho young politician that he
offered to lend him n lot of Hussion
maps and other Important documents.
Ooodnow accepted the offor gratefully.
Intcr ho got tho mnps and studied them,
for they were dono In Ilusslnn, but John
got a man who knew Itusslan to construct
for him. Being tho fortunate possessor
of a renlly marvelous memory, he recol
lected tho greater part of Mr, Hill's dis
sertation, and tho maps helped him
greatly. In two weeks Mr. Ooodnow
wns reatly. Ho went to Wnshlngton,
saw the president, nnd tnlkcd China with
such comprehensive ludlelty thnt Mc
Klnlcy wns Impressed. Bo wero tho
newspaper correspondents. Thoy snid
Ooodnow knew his China backwards, and
exploited somo of John's plans for tho
expansion of American trado and Influ
ence. A week or two Inter Mr. Ooodnow
was appointed consul genernl to Shang
hai, vice Jcmlgan, removed." Chicago
Inter Ocean. i . ,
Aunty n n Me-rry-tlo-IttMintl.
All olil colored uniitle, weighing fully
!2.0 liOUIUlH, lllOllllIt'll OI1G (if till! llttlo
wooden ionliH or the merry-go-round
nt the Rtietn fair ycHterdny.
Sho mid h'.iu was out for n rooI tlmo,
but evidently did not enjoy herself 01
tills occtifloii. Imiiiedlcitely at the toot
of the whistle the Kwlng Htnrted, nntl
ninld the lieiitlug of driiiUM nnd the bltf
pipe orgnn nltiiclunent ntnvty hectuno
excited nnd netirly fell off the pony.
She called finntlcnlly to the Lobs to
"stop drt Infernal intichtnc!" The more
Bile jelled "Wliott! whoa!" the fntcr
the hwlng appeared to go, and the old
aunty mndo the circuit twenty-five
Omen, which, nlie said, "seemed al
mighty long." When the KWlng stopped
nlie piled off, drew a long breath, pnld
her nickel, nnd Htarlotl for the mid
way, declaring that she hnd had more
than a plenty of "them kind of swing."
'1'opeka Capital.
The memory of Caesar, a Oreat Dane that
belonged to Mrs, T, II. M, Cardoza ot German
town, I'a., but which died recently, is to bo
kept green by a monument costing 200. Cae
sar was nine yeais old and three feet tall, and
was a great pet among the Canlecas' large col
lection of animals, The dog was burled tn a
fine colli ti. with real silk lining and i-llver han
dler On the monument, which Is now being
constructed, will be Intcrlbed the following:
"ICrcctcd to an old and faithful friend,"
Ile-r Instrument.
"Docs MIsb Olddy play?" uaked Prof.
DnlBcgno of Mr. Hunker.
"Oh. yes. Sho's plnylug young Cal
lowhlll now." Detroit Free Press.
