FUN WITH
Dreadful execution la done sometimes
by the man behind tho type. Onco a
newspaper man- wrote an "ad" for
a .
theater, and In It said:
From halr-psst tight till "nslf-pBst ten
Tuu laugh and laugh and lauxh again.
Tho stylo on that paper called for ex
pressing the hours by figures; so when
the "ad" appeared It read like this:
From 8.80 to 10.10.
Tou lMlh and laugh nnd laugh again.
Sometimes the proofreader falls to cor
rect, and sometimes he doth correct too
much. The sporting editor of a Ban Kran
Cisco newspaper had among his notes an
Item which sold "The young salmon aro
beginning td run." Tho next morning
the sttt' merit was printed on his pago
that'The young salmon are beginning to
swim." When the editor asked how It
had happened tho proofreader said
cheerily:
"That's all right. Hilly. You had that
mixed up with your turf stuff, but I
straightened It out for you."
"Out why didn't you let It go as I wrote
It?" persisted the editor.
"I couldn't,'"' was the reply. "Who ever
heard of a fish running?"
Once a year, when "30" is In on tlio
Denver morning papers, and the tele
graph editor, while waiting to be called
out to the makeup, feels as It he wouldn't
demean himself If he talked with the re
porters who aro holding down the mid
and dog watches, tho old story of Mark
Twain Is told. One if Mark's early as
signments In Denver was to write up the
opening of a new taloon, which was a
noteworthy bit of news In those days in
Western towns. The funniest way that
Mark could think to write that story was
to start It oft soberly, and let the words
bear client witness to the fine quality of
the drinks dispensed that night. So the
article started at a walk, and soon ap
peared to be running away with the
writer. Out of tho mist of Ideas shone
forth strong, if not clear, one great con
trolling purpose, and that was to eulogize
the saloonkeeper. And In this maudlin, In
coherent eulogy the story ended at such
a late hour that Mark sent It out to tbc
composing room himself, lie thought it
was the greatest thing that ever hap
pened, and ho laughed over It till he
cried which proceeding is contrary to all
humorlstlo precedent; but Mark was
young then.
Another proof of the fart that Mark
was youn was shown the next morning
when he eagerly scanned the paper to
eeo his story in type. Page after pnge
he turned to the lust one, and then he
went through the paper .again backward
At last, down at the bottom of a column
next to the rending notices he found this:
"The Alcazar saloon was opened last
night with appropriate festivities."
Then Murk showed that even a humor
1st could have his serious moments. He
rushed down to the office to nnd what
had" becomo of his story. TTic managing
editor know nottilng about it; the city
editor hadn't heard of it, and the fore
man of the composing room hadn't seen
it. As Mark was snorting nbout t'te
"outrage" and hustling about the office
to find where in the name of Huckleberry
Finn the copy had gone to, a proof
reader gave a sly nudge to Murk and
whispered confidentially, "You owe mo a
cigar."
"Why, how's that?" asked Mark,
"I've earned It," replied the proofread
er In a whisper of absolute confidence
"I saved your tab for you lost night
Maybe you don't know how the old man
here feels ubout such things. Hc'h fired
three men since I v been here Just
that way."
"Just what way?"
"Why, Just as you were last night, you
know. Your stuff wouldn't do nt all; It
was elmply terrible. I knew If the old
man caw it you were gone, so I fixed
It up mytclf."
un most provincial newspapers, as pa
pers printed outside of New York nro
known, the galley boys correct the ,gal
leys. Sometimes In the best regulated
offices the galley boy proves that ho Is
not a little brother to the ox. One of
these bright boys, looking over a poem
that stood In tho corrected galley rack
raw the line
Hhnll reign the Hocate of the deencst hell.
Being lees familiar with the English
language than he was even with Greek
mythology, ho wasn't certain whether cat
woo spelled with a final e or not. Hit
ran to the foreman, and being told that
In that office cat did not fako the final
e he corrected the line so that the next
morning It read:
Shall l dun the lie rnt (if the .leeneit hell.
One morning' the readers of nn esteemed
contemporary were perplexed to see In
typo tho announcement that "The Scotua
handed down an Important decision yes
terday." The nftcrnoon paper of the
N town, with whom the morning paper for
yenrs naa neia a mner controversy, in
terestlng none but themselves, on the rela
tlve merits' of morning and afternoon pa
pers, laughed tha day, ns tho poets say,
"in ghoulish glee," .and it wub up to tl
morning paper the', next day to explain
that "the types" made them say that th
Bcotus did so and so, when the telegrnpl
editor should have known that that word
was moroly the abbreviation of the teleg
rapher for supreme court of tho United
States.
Lust Sunday a preacher In McKce'
Hocks, Pa took for his text "Be yo
therefore steadfast," which, being inter
nrcted In the weekly puper, meant, "B
ye there for breakfast."
It won the mistake of a makeup man
that put a face powder puff between two
death notices, and the telegraph editor,
who stayed )atc that morning, saw it and
had It routed out of the stereotpye piate,
It Ih an old story such tin old one, that
about Leigh Hunt's line, that "the types'
almost refuse to do their duty in telling
it once again. But the Joke Is said t
have died of old age the other day, and
one can't refuse to print an obituary no
tice of an old and faithful friend. For
Washington's birthday the editor had
written u long and glowing eulogy of th
late departed, and down somewhere In th
middle of It the editor threw in Hunt'
line:
And lol Ben Adhem's name led all th
rest.
He was sure that this gave to the
editorial the finishing touch of poesy. He
was disappointed the next morning, not to
to say displeased, to find that a period
had been stuck In after "name," and the
article, which had begun bravely In solid
"burjlce," was leaded, according to in
Instructions, all the rest of the way.
Style is everything In a newspaper office,
and some paper ,peu "ineaire, cen
V," and so on. with a final "tr." That
THE TYPES
Is why one of these papers a while ago
announced that a celebrated French actor
received a salary of "000 livers."
One of those newspapers whose special
contributors rnnge from hod carriers to
the potentates of the earth had an article
at Easter time on the Holy Land from a
celebrated churchman. In describing the
sudden turn of the road which leads from
Bethany to Jerusalem the churchman
hurriedly abbreviated the word Jerusalem
to Jcrus. Consequently, when his con
tribution was 'printed tho wondering public
were enlightened to know that "At the
turn of the rood there suddenly bursts
upon the traveler a magnificent view of
Jones."
In thesM stories told out of school one
must come upon the most amazing of all
errors the tumbling together In apparent
fluency of two entirely different classes of
articles, such as this:
The missionaries are accustomed
to begin their work by buying
heathen children and educating them.
The easiest and beBt way of preparing
them Is first to wipe them dry with a cleon
towel, then place them In dripping pans
and bpke them until they are tender. Then
cut them In slices and cook for several
hours."
It would be a long story to tell In detail
how such mlx-ups happen, but that they
really do happen can be doubted by no
newspaper man whose knowledge, of the
business ever led him to explorations oi
the mysteries of the composing room, as
well as the somewhnt Intricate mazes of
the editorial room. A writer may mix up
his own copy, or he may leave part of his
story on the desk, to be picked up by an
other writer, and Inserted Inadvertently in
his own copy. Late at night he may sena
In his own copy, or the copy reader may
rush It. Or the copy cutter In the com
posing room absent-minded beggar may
shuffle two stories together. Or the make
up man may lift a stickful of one story
Into a form, and then his atteiuion may
bo distracted to something else, and the
next stickful he takes may be from a
story on another galley, nnd the unfin
ished parts of both stories be placed, with
out looking at them, in the left-over rack.
a hundred complications and coincidences
mnv onsue a story before It reaches the
form passing through so many nanus inai
a coincidence Is essential to the error. But
nil these mistakes arc perfectly possible,
Incredible as they mny seem to tho puouc
nt lnrcp. And so this heartbreaking nc
count of n marriage may be voucneu ior
n nn nctunl occurrence.
The church was finely decornted witn
holly nnd evergreen nnd the altar was
hidden in a wealth of flowers. Out of the
recesses rose rare tropical plants, and
from the celling hung fifteen Western
veals, which nt this time of year are scarce
nnd correspondingly dear at 0 and 8j
cents ner nound. TheTO wns also an
active demand for choice lambs, and
farmers east of the Mississippi river can
profitably turn to sheep raising and take
the hrlde. who wore a gown or wniio
corded silk, a creation of Worth's with
pearl ornaments.
"Then came the maid of honor; tno
cousin of the bride. Miss Henrietta Blower
of Chicago, wearing a dress of white tulle.
with diamond ornaments, nnd she was
followed by a small bunch of Montana
sheep, which bleated most plteously as
they were driven on board and shipped
to the winter hotels In Bermuda, They
will there be cut en traine and slightly
decollete, and after the rest of the party
had reached tho rail of minister turned
nnd snld impressively: "I cannot bid
more thnn 0V4 cents for state veals, but
cablegrams from London quote' refriger
nted beef at a price that will enable me
to pay $4.00 for a car o( choice Indiana
beeves, nnd hearing this, there wns
rush for the young married couple, and
the bride fell Into the arms of her father,
who Is known to benr n striking re
semblance to a Connecticut ox weighing
l,67fi pounds. The market here took an
upward turn and advanced 1 and 1! cents,
and the guests, who numbered about "00,
were served with n sumptuous dinner at
the house of the bride." New York Press
GUA.M).MITlIi:it, THINK NOT I VOll
GET."
Ornndmlther, think not 1 forget, when I co.ne
back to lown.
An' wander the old ways again en' tread them
up an down.
I never smell the clover bloom, nor see the
swallows pass.
Without I mind how good ye wero unto a lit
tie lata.
1 never hear the winter rain u-peltlng all night
throunn.
Without 1 think and mind me of how cold It
falls on you.
And It I come not often to your bed beneath
the Ihvine,
Mayhap 't Is that I'd change wl' e. and gl
my bed for thine,
Would like to sleep In thine.
I never hear the summer winds among th
rotes blow.
Without I wonder why It was ye loved th
lassie so.
Ye gave me cakes and lollipops and pretty toy
a score.
I never thought t should come back and ask ya
now for more
Gtandmlthrr, gle me your still, white hands
that lie upon your breast.
For mine do brut the dark all night and never
find me rest:
They grope among the shadows an' they beat
the rold black air,
They go reektn' In the darknesB, an' they never
nna mm mere,
An' ll.ey never find him there.
Grandmlther, gle me your sightless eyes.that
muy never see
Ills own a-burnln' full o' love that must not
shine for me.
Orandmlther, gle me your peaceful lips, whl
as the ktrkyard snow.
For mine be red wl' burnln' thirst, an' li
mint never know.
Grandmlther, 1 me your clay-stopped eanv
that 1 may never hear
My lad n-elngtii' In the moonlight when I am
sick wi' irar,
A-slngln' when the moonlight ovir a the land
la white
Aw Godt I 'II up an go to Mm a-slncln' In
the night,
A-callln In the night.
Grandmlther, rle me your clay-cold heart that
hn forgot to acne.
For mine be Are within my breast and yet It
cannot break.
It brats an' throbs forever for the things that
mutt not be,
An' can ye not let me cieep In an' rest awhll
by ye?
A little lass afrard o' dark slept by ye years
aeone.
An" she has found what night can held 'twist
sunset air the dawn.
Bo when I plant the rose an' rue above, your
Brave for ye.
Ye'll know It's under me an' rose that I would
like to be.
That I would like to be.
Wllla filbert Gather In April Critic.
Ilia Ambition,
Minister Well, Johnnie, what do
you propose to tnnke of yourself when
you erow up to tie n man?
Johnnie (thoughtfully) Well. I don'
know, sure, but I've been thinking late
ly that I should like to be a dog-catch
er. BomerTlie Journal.
HayhfV's
ny w. ria
urn1
DON'T pay much attention
to what doctors say," he
remarked in his Important
ly Jovial way. He wns a
tall, dogmatic, well dressed
u
man of thirty sometning
Point of fact, I've never had occasion
to see ono before, but."
'You are fortunate, Mr. Maybury.
Won't you sit down?"
"No," he replied, "I won't. One doesn't
get ou In life by sitting down. My motto
is to keep going."
"Most of un have to pull up now and
again. Tho human frnmo"
"Look here," remurked tho city man
truculently, "you'ro not going to frighten
me. Although I've had little- to do with
ou medical men. I know there are
two sets of you; the optimists and the
pessimists. Some of you are too sanguine,
and others are not sanguine enough, but
none of you tell tho precise truth,"
'A medical man," said the doctor, try
ing to preserve his temper, "has to use
discretion. A medical mnn who blurted
.out tho actual truth might well be doing
his patient a good deal of Imrtn. You
must allow us, my dear sir, to know our
own business best."
That's Just what I shall not dot" cried
Maybury with vehemence. "There's more
of humbug among you doctors than
than"-
'Than on the stock exclinnge?"
"Thnn In any other profession. Those
of you who are not sheer quacks"
"Iteally, Mr. Maybury," said the doctor,
offended, "you must allow me to say"
'Are you a specialist In this trifling
complaint thnt I am suffering from?"
"No," replied tho doctor, shortly, "I'm
not."
"Then give me," sold Maybury, "a note
to tho man at the top of tho tree, and
I'll go on there In my cab like n shot."
The doctor was sorry to lose sight so
quickly of an Important client, but Mr.
Maybury's aggressive manr.tr had not
pleased him, and even doctors, careful
oa they dre to cloak the fact, have their
sensitive moments. He scribbled n note.
Mr. Maybury laid on tho table an ndml
rable fee, and tuklng tho letter ran out
to his cab.
'Two, five, two Hnrley-stl" he shouted.
"Itlght you are, sir," said the cabman.
Winder up or down?"
"Never mind the window. Put your
horse along sharp."
"Gent," muttered tho cabman to him
self, "seems to be In a bit of n hurry."
Indeed, this was tho usual -manner of
Arthur Maybury. When tho cab stopped
at one of the largo houses in Harley
street, which bore, like all Its neighbors,
a square brass plate on tho open door,
he went hastily through the hall, and
without going Into the waiting room,
opened a side door. A stout, florid man
was seated at the table reading the ad
vcrtlsements In "The British Medlca)
Journal." Mr. Maybury banged his silk
hat down on the table and shook hands,
"My name's Maybury," he said, deliv
ering tho note. "Here's my card. A
meeting of directors is waiting far me
at Cannon Street hotel; I can only spare
five minutes. Now, Just run over me, Dr.
Jeyeson, as sharp as ever you can and
give rns prescription."
"First give me your symptoms."
Mr. Maybury described them. A feel
Ing of depression In the evenings; slight
Insomnia; absence of appetite. The llorld
mny eyed him seriously and held his wrist
for a few moments.
"I may as well assure you," went on
Mnybury, with a burst of frankness, "that
I um to be married In a few months to a
very charming girl; dare say you have
seen the announcement In the papers,
Miss Tenrle, daughter of that Irishman
who lost his money in tho "
"Mr. Mnyburyl" Tho stout, florid man
came round and stood with his buck to
the fireplace. "I have an Importunt nn
nouncemcnt to mnkb to you. Your en
gagemcnt mUBt be cancelled."
"Oh, no," sold Mnybury, with a gesture
of protest. "That be hanged for n tale,
She'd go nnd marry some one else, nnd
they wouldn't havo sixpence between
them. I couldn't allow her to endure
that fate, Dr. Jeyeson."
"I have nothing to do with the lady,'
he snld with gravity, "I am only con
cerned with you. You ore suffering from
a rare complaint, known to us medical
men as'' Maybury did not cntch the
phrnse. "It Is my duty to tell you, sir,
that," ho coughed and lowered his voice
"you have but a few days to live."
Arthur Maybury half fell, half sat on
tho nearest chair. His face went very
white; his Hps moved, but no sound came,
"Serious news to tell a mnn, I know,
but It's best that you should know the
truth. What I recommend Is that you
should go to the Mviera ut once." Mny
bury ejaculated something in a whisper,
"Ah, It's of no use damning the Hlvlern
That won't help you. You get away by
to-night's mall without saying a word
nbout your condition to anybody, and
take the few remaining days of your life
as quietly and an calmly as you can,
Bo sure not to talk of It; that will only
Increase the excitement and 'asten the
hend I mean to sny hasten the end,"
"Are you aro you sure of this, Dr,
Jeyeson," stammered Mnybury.
"I am not In tho habit of making mis
takes."
"What Is the time now?"
"The hour now Is S o'clock. You hnve
seven hours In which to make your ar
rangements." "And can't you give me n prescription
or anything?"
"My dear sir, pray be reasonable! Yours
is no caso for prescription."
There was n pause. Maybury looked
stupidly nt a portrait of Sir James Paget
on the walls without seeing It; his ad
viser drummed at the muntelptece Impa
tiently. "What what is your fee, Dr. Jeyeson?
Shall I givo your man a check?"
"Twenty guinea-, if you please. Per
haps you will leave It there on the table.
Either gold or notes."
With trembling hand Mr. Mnybury
counted out the amount.
"Twsniy-one sovereigns," he said thick
ly. "Itather a lot of money to pay for
being told that one's not going to live
a week, Isn't It?"
"I'll see you to the door myself, Mr,
Maybury. And, above nil, don't speak
of this U a soul. Make It, I beg, your
own secret."
Harley street Is really a very straight
thoroughfare, but to Maybury, walking
down unsteadily toward Cavendish
aare, It aeemed full of odd ccnvoltv
Kepentanee
tt inn hi:.
tlonn. More than once he hnd to stop and
grip at railings In order to recover his
self-possession; passers-by stared at him
curiously, and a servant girl said some
thing so very amusing about his manner
to a servant next door that tho servant
next door nearly slipped down the area
steps. In Cavendish square he became
himself. He was a man used to ob
stacles; his practice In overcoming them
come to his aid now. First he must go
somewhere nnd think. His club7 No:
there ho would find men whom he knew.
He found the scrvlco that he desired to
lis nut In Ashley Hardens? Yes. Ho
would bo alono there. Much to think
nbout and much to do before he left
Charing Cross that evening. Ho would,
ns tho Harley street man advised him,
keep his own company; there was no one
n the world with whom he would care to
share the secret. He feared that If he
wero to tell some men of his acquaintance
they would have difficulty In repressing
signs of satisfaction.
"Wish now." he raid. desolately, "that
had mnde one or two friends."
a inmiunr tap on the shoulder from a
walking stick made him start.
"Me dear boy," said Miss Tenrle's
father, "what on earth d'you mean by
oanng nbout Bond street at this hour of
tho day? I thought you were always up
to your eyes In business. You re taking
a day o f, maybe?"
'Yes," he said shortly.
"I'm right, then!" exclaimed Miss
Tearle's futlur with surprise. It wns, In
fact, not often that he was correct.
'What wonderful perception on my part!
I was telling me daughter only last night
that I retulned all me powers of Insight.
j.ui, ten mo now, In thorc anything go
ing thnt you can recommend to me for an
Investment?"
"My dear Tearle," said Mavburv with
Impatience, don't bother me. Besides,
iu nnuw very wen mat you have no
money to Inveit."
"I am freo to confess," acknowledged
Miss Ttarle's fat'er. "that for the mo
ment I had overlooked thut fact. Is
there any meB;iKe for ii'.o dear Mmgnrel?
How thnt girl adores you, mo dear May
turyl"
'Are you sure that that Is nor
'Well," said tho other, hcdaln-r. "she
ndores you ns much an can be expected
under tho circumstances. I'll be plain
with you, Mnybury. She's never quite
forgotten her young cousin who died out
In West Africa, and that's tho truth.
But, after nil," ho went on Indulgently,
'that's nothing. It will all pass off.
lou re a mnn of tho world, Mnybury."
"Temporarily."
"Ahl" said Miss Tenrle's father. "We'll
none of us live forover, unfortunately.
And thnt reminds me. Have you such a
thing as a live-pound note, mo boy, about
you thnt you could conveniently spare
for twenty-four hours? I'm Infinitely
obliged to you."
"Tearle!"
"Sir?" said the grateful old gentleman.
"With reference to Margaret." Maybury
hesitated for a moment. Tho march of
four young women n cross tho pavement
from a brougham to a shop separated
them for n few moments. "I wnnt to
ask you something. Do you think that
she would be r,orry If If anything terlous
wero to happen to me?"
"Me boy I You re not tho kind of a
man thnt anything serious happens to.
You're too knowing for thnt."
"I want an answer to my question."
"Maybury," said Mr. Tearle, placing the
note carefully In his pocketbook ns
though to hint that It would bo disbursed
with great caution. "I'll tell you the
truth. Time was when she became en
gaged to you nt my particular request,
and there was no great affection on her
side But I'm speaking the honest truth
when I tell you that she Is now positively
fond of you."
"Ah!"
"To be brutally frank," laughed the old
gentlemnn, "let me tell you thnt you huve
some good qualities below the surface,
but that It takes time to fl.id them. For
my part, I consider myself deeply Indebt
ed to you."
"I suppose you arc," said Mnybury
"Good-bye."
"I hate the word good-bye,' rnld the
effusive old Irishman. "Let us borrow
the phrase of our lively neighbors and
say au revolr."
"Good-bye." repeated the other steadily.
It was n great relief to him when the
lift had taken him up to his floor In Ash-
lev Gardens and he was nulo to iock tno
dlnlngroom door upon himself. The two
mutronly servants did not hear him nr
rive, and they went on In high-pitched
tones with u qunrrel which was not really
n nunrrel. but a kind of ham debate
probably started to chase monotony. The
elder of tho two had been a servant with
his parents; her voice mude him think of
his mother. Ono of Maybury's best traits,
and ono that he never revealed to the
world, was his affection for tho memory
of his mother; for the first time since her
death ho thought of tue possibility oi
meeting her again.
nut hi was a good woman," he said.
Wns It too late to make some reparation
for his nets of tho last few years? The
clock on the mantleplece struck the hour
and reminded him there were no mo
m,.ntH to waste. He went to the desk
In the coner-there was a writing desk In
every room In tho flat-nnij unlocked tho
stationery stand. He opened his check
book nnd laid It on the ledge, nnd for
half an hour he wrote swiftly several let
ters. It was not possible to make amends
to nil the people to whom he had octed
unfairly, but there were some who, by
reason of their association with him,
were now In distressed circumstances. To
these he wrote letters which had for com-
nnnv a check.
"There seems," he snld thoughtfully,
after the hnlf-hour's work, " a good deal
to clear up."
To Margaret Tenrle ho wrote a long, af
fectionate letter, tho composition of which
cost him some trouble; when ho had nn
lshed he thought for a moment nnd then
tore It Into many pieces, because he felt
that it would give pain. He substituted
a friendly little note simply unnounclng
his departure.. Maybury had never made
his will because It had always seemed an
absurdly premature thing to do. Now
he took a sheet of paper nnd thought.
The elder servant, answering the ring,
appeared In the dlnlngroom. Her mas
ter was reading over the sheet of paper
which he had written out, and he did not
speak to her at once.
"Didn't know you were In, sir. Letters
to post, sir? I'll send them down by the
lift boy nt once. Would you like dinner a
little earlier?'"
Pack my bag, Martha, please. I'm go
ing nwny to the south of France."
"Be away long, sir?" Inquired the mid
dle-aged servant. " 'Scuse my asking."
"I don't know when I ehall bo back,"
he said, wearily. "And Martha!"
"Sir."
"Oblige mo by witnessing my tlgnn-
turo here, and call in the other maid to
do the same 1 havo Just been making
my will.'"
He indorsed the document "Will nnd
Testament of Arthur Mnybury," nnd
placed It In a corner of the desk, Ho
went again to look at himself In the mir
ror, and felt gratified to find himself look.
Ing suno and normal; n tlngo of color had
returned to his face. He took tho photo
graph of Margaret Tearle from an ex
pensive frame nnd placed It cnrofully In
his pocket. Then ho looked through the
square revolving bookcase for n volume
which It seemed wai not there, for ho had
to ring and thus disturb Martha In her
work of packing his portmanteau.
A Common Prayer Hook!" echoed
that astonished woman. "Certainly, sir,
I can lend you one."
read nt the end of the collection, it oc
curred to him that It was a piece of care
ful editing to begin with the public bap
tism of infants, and to place the service
for burial of the dead toward the end.
He rend the latter softly to himself, nnd
tears came' very nearto his1 eyes now nnd
again, for the words gave him memories.
Ho had heard them read several times;
It seemed queer thnt he hnd never till
now thought of the occasion when they
would be read over him.
"Your bag, sir," snld Martha, bringing
In tho portmanteau, "nnd I don't think
I've forgotten anything."
"Mnrtha," ho said.
"Yes, sir."
Tho middle-aged woman helped him
with his coat.
I am not very well, and I'm going
nwny to going away for the benefit of
my henlth."
"Master Arthur! It's nothing serious, I
hope?"
I'm nfrnld I've been rnther rnther n
selfish master during tho Inst few years.
if at nny time I have been harsh in
speaking to you, if I have seemed to
forget that you wero an old servant of
my denr mother s, I want to ask your
pnrdon."
"No, no, Master Arthur," said the
woman, tearful, "not thut. You mustn't
ask my pardon."
"I should lllto you to think of mo," ho
said, "as I wus when I was n boy, and"
Ho stopped, for there was choking In
his throat. "fling for a hansom," ho
said.
"I can tell, sir," snld Martha quaintly,
"that you aro not 'nlf well."
He looked around when the servant hnd
gone nnd said fnrewell to the mom. Open
Ing his portmanteau, he found room for
some lcttor paper and envelopes; there
would bo time, ho hoped, out In the south
of Franco to take further steps to right
the wrongs that he hnd committed. For
tho first time he recognized the amazing
change that the Harley street man's an
nouncement had made In him; the quiet,
thoughtful man, with a great nffectlon in
his heart for the world, seemed to have
no relationship with the assertive, buoy
ant man who had left far the city that
morning.
"Cab's waiting, sir," said Martha.
"And here's a telegram."
I won't trouble to open It," he re
marked. "It's from my partner, I expect.
I can't bother about business any more."
"It might be. private, sir."
Only the thought thnt it might be
from Margaret Tearle induced him, ns he
stood In Die pnssnge waiting for the lift,
to open tho envelope. It was not from
her.
"Can I sco you at your rooms now?
"Jeyeson.'
IIo scribbled hurriedly a reply on the
back:
No. Am leaving Charing Cross to
night's mall. Maybury."
Plenso send that, Martha," he suld.
"Good-by."
"Good-by, Master Arthur," snld tho
woman. "And I uo 'ope you 11 bo puck
Boon."
"Good-by."
He repeuted these two words many times
ns tho cab took him past the Abbey and
up Parliament street. At Charing Cross
there was tlmo to spare, and feeling
hungry ho went Into the hotel. Some
thing to his suprlse he found himself able
to eat with admirable appetite; n small
bottle of white wine ad&ed to his con
tent. He felt half inclined to speak to
the people who were eating at the next
table, and- to tell them that he had but
six days to live In this world; to tell
them that he was facing the certain
thing with self-possession. One of tha
party commenced to brng solemnly about
an nttack of the toothache, and May
bury srrllcd nt the wont of proportion.
IIo had taken his ticket, and was at
the wooden barriers leading to the Con
tinental platform when he saw a clean
shaven, nnxious old gentleman scanning
the faces of tha passengers. He touched
tho shoulder of the mnn who was going
through In front of Maybury,
"Excuse me," ho said, "Is your name
Mnybury?"
"Comment?" said the man. "Vous
dltes7"
"My namo Is Maybury."
"Glad to havo found you," declnred the
anxious old mnn. "My name Is Jeyeson,
of Harley street."
"I think not," snld Maybury. "I saw
Hint gentleman late this afternoon, and
you are certainly not he." ,
"My denr sir," cried the old man sharp
ly, "do you think I don't know who :
am?"
"Apparently you do not."
"I beg your pnrdon," he snld apologet
ically, "I had forgotten. Very nntural
consequence of a very annoying clrcum
stance. Tell mcl You called at Harley
street about i o clock. I found your card
mere, you nnd an interview nnd you
paid a fee. How much did you pay?"
Maybury with some Interest gave tho In
formation. "He's a scoundrel!" declared
the old man.
"Who?"
"My new mnn. I wns out when you
railed; If you had gone into the waiting
room the pageboy would havn told you
eo. I hope he did not give you a pre1
scrlptlon."
"He only told me," stammered Mny
bury, perplexed, "that I had but six days
to live, and that I had bctt r get away
from London at once."
"Upon my word!" declared Dr. Jeyeson,
"that was clever."
"But was he wrong, then 7"
"Wrong!" cried the concerned old man,
"Of course he was wrong all wrong. It
has taken me evjr since 5 o'clock to
try to remedy the mischief thnt he In ten
minutes managed to do to my practice.
Drive bock with me In my brougham."
Lnter tho two wt In the doctor prl
vale room In Harley street. Dr. Jeyeson,
smoking a long cigar, had Just concluded
ono of his best starlon of an incident at
Bart's. Ills guest was courteously amused
but he seemed to be thinking of other
matters.
'And you feel sure that I am all right.
doctor?" he asked for the fourth lime.
"My denr sir," said Jeyeson, emphat
ically, "you're as sound as n bell. Go
slow; marry this charming young woman;
settle down. Only thing I'm concerned
nbout Is thnt you will accept my apology
for the shock you've had. I hope It hasn t
done you nny harm."
"Indeed," snld Arthur Mnybury, "I'm
sure It has done me good!" Sphero.
Two Kitchener Stories.
What Lord Kitchener Is dolrig may
bo best summed tip In two stories that
arc going the rounds In regard to him.
It Is snld that he was naked tne oiuer
dnv whether he did not propose to re-
oicnnlr.e the transport. Ills reply was:
"No: I am going to organize it. im
other story Is that he paid a surprlo
visit to tho principal hotel tu tho city,
the resort or oil those among tho oill
corn who enn, whllo In Capo Town, nf
ford the luxuries of life at the Mount
Nelson. He called for the visitors
book, nnd carefully ran his Anger down
the list of military guests. Uo subse
queutly Inquired of each officer his rcn
son for being at tho Mount Nelson ho
tel and not nt the front. In raostcases,
of course, there were excellent reasons
for the presence or those gcntlmen In
Cnpe Town. In some, however, the rea
sons were not so good were uot, In
fact, satisfactory, nnd In one or two
cases the leave was Immediately can
celed nnd the ldgiiard soldiers sent to
their regiment. London News.
Two Morrlnae Conclusions.
Not Ioiir ncojt Boston clergyman re
ceived and evening call from nn elderly
man nnd womnn who expressed a wish
to bo lolned In the bonds of matrimony
then nnd there.
"Hnve ,vou over been married be
fore?" asked the clergyman of the man,
nn honest, wenther-beatcn person ot
sen-fnrlns; nspect.
"Never, and never wanted to before,"
wns the prompt reply.
"And hnve you ever been married bo
fore V" the question enme to Uie womon.
"No. sir." she replied, with equnl
promptitude, nnd with n touch of hu
mor that nppealed to the c!ergyn in nt
once, she nddctl: "I never li .d a
chancel"
The marriage ceremony wnB speedily
performed and the clergy mnn refused
to take nny fee, tellng the bride, with
n twinkle In his eye, that It hnd been a
privilege to olllelnte which he would
hnve been fcorry to miss. Youth's Com
panion. Little Teasers.
Here Is a little exercise In punctua
tion thnt n normal school young
woman recently brought home to
ptir.Hlo her father:, ,
It Is not anil I Haiti imt or.
"Looks a little confused, docmi't Ml
Simple, though.
A few quotation marks and two com
mas will flx It nil right. For Inslnncc:
"It Is not 'ami.' " I suld. "hut 'or.' "
Here Is n still simpler catch that
mny bother you some:
"All o."
Not much In It, perhaps, but enough
to make It troublesome.
,Too luml?
And yet It's "Nothing nfter nil."
Cluvolunil Plain Denier.
A Nnvnl l'lnm.
The command of a receiving ship Is
pre-eminently thnt of n married man,
nnd he nnd his family nlwnys live on
hoard, In unique and delightful homes.
There nro but six receiving wiltm in tno
Kcrvlce the Franklin, nt Norfolk, Vn.;
the Independence nnd Pensneola, nt
Mnre Island. Onl.: the Richmond, at
League Island, Ln.; tho Vermont, at tho
Itrooklyn yard, nnd the Wabash, nt
Charleston. Mass. There Is no houso
rent to pay; the captain Is allowed two
stewards by the government; so It Is
looked uion as one of tho very few
chances offered In the naval otlleer'H
career to save money. Anna A. lingers,
In the woman 8 Home Companion,
Mine Hats In Colorado.
Mountain rats lu tho mines in Colo
rado are about as big as n wharf rnt,
but they havo a bushy tall like a squir
rel nnd are pets of the miners. When
ever the luncheon hour comes you will
-ee them come from their holes, or
nests, or wherever they live In the In
tervals between meals, squat on their
haunches nnd sit thero until one of tha
miners shares his dinner with them.
Whatever they get of the scraps of that
meal they sit up aud cat just as a
Miulrrcl does. The miner doesn't exist
that would no tshnre his meal with
them, Indianapolis News.
Short Arm Conductor.
Tho regular pnsseuger was stnndluit
on the rear platform, In conversation
with the street car conductor.
"Whatever became of Hinlth, who
used to run on this llnc'"ho asked the
knight of the bell cord.
"Oh, he got ilred,"
"That so? What wass the matter?"
'"Ills right arm was too short, I
think."
"Ah, yes, I see. Couldn't help tho
ladles on and oft the car."
"No, It wasn't thnt so much as ho
couldn't reach the register rope. Mem
phis Scimitar.
j
To Oiitrrlt Mnnlln Ants.
A Washington mill has taken nn or
der from the United States government
for fiOOKK) feet of ccdnr for use at Mn
nlla. The llrst government buildings
were built of fir. but the white nnta
which Infest thnt country, ntc It with
apparent relish, aud with so disastrous
effects to the buildings that cedar will
he substituted, It being claimed that
ants will not attack cedar. It Is also
claimed by some that hemlock Is nnt
proof, Should Ihls fact be proved, tho
question of a market for hemlock has
been solved, Mississippi Valley Lum
berman. Why?
Ilngged Hobhltis DIs trnmp-Joko
writer Ih our best friend.
Weary Walker How's dat?
Itagged Hohbliis W'y he's contlncral
ly glvln us new gags ter work.
Weary Walker Dat's so. I wonder
w'y sech a gifted feller ever left do per
fesh ter work.
Drsldrs, Tbey Never Spukp of Ulna,
"Whv Is It you never mention your
ancestors?"
"Iletntise I believe In letting bygone
be bygonea." Chlcngo Tlmus-HeraM,